From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2000 00:20:52 -0600
Subject: About Last Night by Gracey
Source: direct

Reply To: Gracey_99_1999@yahoo.com


Title: About Last Night...
Author: Gracey
Email: Gracey_99_1999@yahoo.com
Category: Scully POV as she watches Mulder sleep, Closure.
Spoilers: Closure
Disclaimer: Dana Scully and Fox Mulder do not belong to me. They belong to
Chris Carter, Fox and 1013, Thank for the loan. 
Authors note: please please be nice, I have never done this before, would
love feed back PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!! 

Scully Watches Mulder Sleep.....

I thought last night would go on forever, partly I wished it would. The
rest of me wanted it to end right there and then. Watching a sleeping
Mulder, my mind started to race. What was it about him that made me
wonder, wonder about my life, who I was and w hat was his role in it. To
watch him suffer had hurt me more than I would ever admit, to anyone. 
`Mulder, your mom died` hearing my own words echo in my head had sounded
so cold, so harsh against the stillness of the room. Watching him pace
around his mom's room, touching her things, looking for clues. Searching
to hear his mom's voice except now he couldn't, not any more.  As Mulder
stirred he'd startled me, startled me into burying my thoughts and dealing
with his, with his nightmares and dreams, most of the time they where
indistinguishable. What about my dreams? Sometimes I think about those old
movies you see on TNT, the ones that always end with 'I love you'. Was
that real or make believe, sometimes I'm not sure I know the difference. 
Do I love him, yes, does he love me, yes but it feels like it's more than
th at.  More basic, it's the feeling of knowing him, all of him.  What was
it about being here, in his space that makes my thoughts dance, I wondered
as I made coffee. I could leave him alone, just get up and go back to my
place. But there too there are memories and nightmares, too many to count.
At least here we are to gether. Two souls wandering through the forest of
our lives. Will we find each other, I try not to think about it, but I
know that somewhere deep in me there is a stirring that wishes it so.
'Scully' his voice draws me from the place my mind has wandered and I go
to his side. Reaching for his hand as he stirs I feel my heart beating
fast, so fast it will wake him. I pray for it to be quiet so at least now
he can sleep, softly, knowing I am here if he needs me.