From: "Jayne Dankanic" Date: Wed, 11 Aug 1999 19:46:53 PDT Subject: Affirmation (1/1) Source: direct Title: Affirmation Author: Jayne Dankanic e-mail: jayneygirl@hotmail.com Rating: R Category: S, R, A Spoliers: Milagro Keywords: Mulder/Scully romance Summary: Picks up where Milagro leaves off... Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Mulder or Scully (though I really wish I did!). Mulder belongs to David Duchovney, Scully belongs to Gillain Anderson, and both Mulder and Scully belong to Chirs Carter and 1013 productions -- whoever, I just know it's not me. So please don't sue. I'm just a poor college student anyway. Affirmation Mulder held Scully, leaning over her body as she clung to him, sobbing as he had never seen her do before. After a moment he shifted to a sitting position, not loosening his grip on Scully's weeping form as he pulled her into his lap. They stayed that way for a long time -- moments that seemed like hours -- until her sobs began to subside and she lay quietly against him, arms still in a death- grip around his neck, only the soft sounds of their breathing punctuating the silence. In the stillness, Mulder stroked Scully's hair, in a gesture that was soothing in its familiarity. He bowed his lips to kiss her temple, assuring her of his presence without words. She merely rested in his arms, unresponsive, until slowly, she began to move. He almost didn't notice it at first, can't quite recall the moment she tilted her head ever so slightly and began to kiss him, first at his jaw and quickly moving to his mouth, tentatively at first, as if unsure he were really there, then more urgently as he began to return the kiss with a ferverency to match her own, mouth seeking mouth, wildly, with a passion born not of six years of longing -- although that existed too -- but of a need for the affirmation of survival, the continuance of life. She shifted to straddle his legs, allowing for more of their bodies to touch, and pressed her hips against his, feeling his hardness against her core through the material of their pants. He moaned into their kiss as she circled her hips and thrusted against him, causing to grow even harder. He pushed her jacket from her shoulders as she began to untuck his shirt, releasing her grip on him only long enough to let the material fall to the floor, returning her hands to him, now beneath his shirt, pushing it up but not taking it off, their kiss yet unbroken, each of them realing from lack of air. She slipped a hand between them as she ground her groin into his, taking measure of his cloth-covered erection with her fingers, her hand pleasuring herself even as it pleasured him. She began to work on the button of his jeans as Mulder reached to unbutton her blouse, breaking their kiss slightly for a much needed breath of air, and looking down to view her breasts. He stopped then, pulling away, grasping her hand to halt its ministrations on his hard penis, when he saw the blood -- her blood -- on her skin and blouse, remembering what had happened in the previous hour for the first time since they began to kiss. She looked up at him in confusion, eyes still dark with desire, and then began to slide off his lap in horror. Mulder reached for her and spoke her name, finally breaking the silence that lay between them since he had enternd the room, "I'm sorry..." she whispered in reply, turning her still tearstained face away from him. He put one hand beneath her chin and turned her face towards him once more. "No, Scully," he said gently, "please don't be sorry." "I threw myself at you, Mulder...I...I know you don't..." "Don't what, Scully? You think I don't want you?" He chuckled softly. "I think you've felt the evidence of just how much I do want you." "A response to physical stimuli..." "No, Scully. A response to you." "Then why did you stop?" "Because I had to. Because it wouldn't have been right to let this happen now. I would have been taking advantage of you, and I will not allow myself to do that." "Taking ad...? How, Mulder? How can you take advantage when I started this?" "Look at yourself, Scully. You're covered in blood. You were almost killed barely an hour ago. You're vulnerable right now, and if you weren't vulnerable you would never have kissed me. It's not that I don't want you, Scully. It's just that when we finally do make love I want it to be because we both want eachother for the right reasons. I couldn't live with myself if I let it happen and later you regretted what we had done. It would kill me. That's why I had to stop." Scully looked up at him, her eyes shining with fresh tears. "Mulder,I...I...Thank you for understanding me better than I understand myself." He smiled and drew her into his embrace, planting a chaste kiss on her forehead and once again smoothing her hair. "Lets get you cleaned up," he said, helping her to her feet. "I'll get you a tee-shirt wear and there's a wash cloth in the bathroom so you can wash off the blood." She nodded in accordance, her eyes remaining down just for a moment, noticing the bulge that strained against his pants. "Still?" she questioned, cocking one eyebrow. He laughed in response. "You have no idea what you do to me Scully." "Maybe someday soon I'll get to find out." "If you're lucky," he replied teasingly. "Oh, I think I'll be lucky," she retorted as she headed to the bathroom. Mulder watched her walk away. "Scully," he questioned, all teasing gone from his voice, "You...You'll stay with me tonight, won't you?...I mean just stay, not...I...I just don't want to be alone..." "Yes Mulder," Scully answered. "Neither do I." The End