From: Kevin Murphy Date: Fri, 24 Jul 1998 14:21:47 +0100 (BST) Subject: Story - 'After the Dance' After the Dance (1/1) By Jenna Murphy (jenna_murphy@hotmail.com) Disclaimer - Mulder and Scully don't belong to me and I am not using them for profit. They belong to 1013 and Fox. Rating - PG Category - Story Romance Spoilers - PMP and little ones from Irresistable and Never Again. Keywords - Mulder/Scully Romance Summary - Scully and Mulder reflect on the dance they shared at the Cher concert. Then when they arrive back at the motel, they attempt to clear the air with a truthful heart to heart. After the dance By Jenna Murphy Scully I always said it would never happen. At first it was because I felt falling in love with your partner was tacky and far too cliched and I had enough trouble building a career as a woman within such a male orientated structure as the FBI as it was. But as time wore on I had different reasons. I was concerned with preserving a friendship which had come to mean everything to me. A relationship which I had never experienced the like of before and which I was prepared to protect at all costs. We had grown close over the years, very close. And I had come to trust him, care for him and rely on him totally. But I always swore we were just friends, very good friends, but friends nevertheless. But I guess there comes a point where you can no longer deny it, For me that moment came when Mulder pulled me into his arms, All the walls which I had meticulously built up between us, to prevent myself from falling in love withhim, crumbled to dust under his touch. The song could not have been more apt.The lyrics 'Do I really feel the way I feel?' hung in the air. I knew what I felt, but was it a result of the mood, the dance, the wine or something more?All of my doubts were dismissed the moment he looked at me. Not a casual look, like the hundreds of looks he had given me in the past, but a deep soulsearching gaze, his eyes looking directly into mine as if he could read my thoughts. And I realised that all the time I had been hiding from my own feelings. And in that moment, in the warmth of his embrace there was simply no where left to hide. I knew that I loved Fox Mulder. That I had loved him for a long time. Mulder I knew I loved her. I can't pinpoint a moment when this realisation had struck. It was a gradual change in the way I thought of her. In the beginningit had been suspicion which had slowly turned into friendship and trust. In the end we had developed a relationship which I have no frame of reference for. A totally new experience, an unbreakable bond. And I had known I loved her for a while, that I needed her. Her heartbeat hadbecome more vital than my own. When her life had been in such grave danger, I felt close to death myself. The end of her life would mean the end of mine.For I could not live without her. Acting on these feelings never really crossed my mind. Some things are too valuable to risk and there was just too much at stake, We had so much alreadyit seemed greedy to want more. But when I held her in my arms as we danced I felt....incredible, to have her so close, it was as if we were the only people in the world. I nearly leaned down and kissed her but, I did not want anything to ruin thisperfect moment, so I contented myself with looking at her. Deep into her eyes and I swear I saw something there, a reflection of what was in my own heart. Mulder let out a sigh and sat on the bed. Scully crossed the motel room and stood in front of him. She took her jacket off and ran a hand through her hair. "Tired?" Mulder asked with a grin, but Scully only smiled. She pulled her blouse from her trousers and turned away from him. "I'm going to take a show....." Her voice trailed as she felt Mulder's hands on her hips holding her still. "What are you doing?" She asked cautiously. "Scully," He said softly lifting the bottom of her shirt slightly. "Why have you never shown me this?" "What?....I..." Scully was lost for words. "Your tattoo" He said and she let out a held breath. "It's beautiful" he continued, tracing the pattern with his finger. "It reminds me of things I'd sooner forget." Scully sat turning to face him. "Like Ed Jerse? " Mulder said suddenly. "Like a lot of things" Scully replied smoothly. "Scully, why don't we talk about stuff like this?" He looked up at her "You are my closest friend. And yet there is so much about you I don't know, I want to know. I never understood what happened with Jerse." "Mulder, at the time I felt something I can't explain to you, maybe it was all connected to my cancer. I don't know. It just felt as though everything was whizzing by me and I was standing still" "Why didn't you talk to me about it?" "I tried, but we don't talk about that sort of thing Mulder" "I know." Mulder nodded sadly. "And Jerse.." Scully continued "He seemed like a nice guy, attractive, interested in me, I needed to feel wanted Mulder. I'm not sure why" "I understand Scully, I just wish you didn't feel like you had to hide your pain from me. You always have to be strong." "I do?" Scully asked as she sat beside him. "Like with your cancer, never telling me the truth, trying to bear it on your own, or with Pfaster or when your father died. Scully, I'm here, you don't need to hide from me, you help me. Let me help you. " "I do let you help me" "Sometimes. But most of the time you just say the same thing. 'I'm fine Mulder'. Are you fine Scully, really?" "I am now. I feel liberated. Ever since I left the hospital I feel ...young" She finished and there was a long silence. "I'm so sorry, Dana" Mulder almost whispered. "Sorry?" Scully queried. "It's all my fault" "What is?" "Your cancer, your abduction, because of me you can't have children, you live in fear of the shadows, you lost your sister." He looked down "Mulder, this isn't because of you." Scully said sternly, taking his hand. "It is because of them, and I know you've lost things too. But we are in this together Mulder" "But Scully, the X-Files, they are my work, my obsession, not yours." "Mulder, the X-files are my work too and my primary goal has always been the truth. I believe the X-files is the only way to get to the truth." She looked up at him and squeezed his hand. "But you've lost so much"=A0He said tears in his eyes "I will not let you blame yourself. I can look out for myself. I choose to take these risks, Mulder. I choose to stand by your side" She looked at him for a long moment and then stood and began to walk away. "Thank-you" Mulder whispered almost inaudibly. She stopped and he put his hands back on her waist and looked again at the tattoo on her lower back. "I really like this, it is like you" He said "How?" she asked "Ourroboros. Eternity. It is never ending. It never dies." "Mulder," Scully began "I am not immortal." "You are to me" There was a pause and Scully felt tears fill her eyes. Mulder continued "You may die someday Scully but you will never be forgotten.You are like the truth. It may be hidden, but as long as some people, no matter how few, speak of it, believe in it and treasure it, it will never die." "Mulder, I..." Scully voice wavered "Scully, I hope you feel you can tell me anything, you have helped me through so much. I have to believe you put the same faith in me as I do in you." "Mulder, I could tell you anything, you are the only person I trust and I would put my life in your hands without a moments hesitation" She tried to turn and face him, but his hands held her still. "Scully, I hope you know, I need you to know what you mean to me" "Mulder, " She smiled softly "You are the most important person in my life" Mulder's finger traced over her tattoo once more then he placed a feather-light almost imperceptible kiss on top of it. He stood and she turned to face him. "I love you" he said simply "I know Mulder, I love you too" He took her face in his hands. Savouring this moment of pure joy. "Forever?" He asked "Forever" She answered He slowly brought his lips to hers. And forever began. THE END!! Please email and let me know what you thought at jenna_murphy@hotmail.com Please be kind!