Title: After The Lie
Author: Lainie
Rating: PG (for a couple of curse words)
Classification: V
Spoiler: Gethsemane
Keywords: Mulder/Scully
Summary: A meeting between Mulder and Scully after the FBI briefing.

Disclaimer: Mulder and Scully belong to Chris Carter. No infringement is intended.

Please Archieve

This is my very first attempt at fan fic.  Send feedback to aepacka@pacbell.net.
Please be gentle.

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Exidor Motel - Washington D.C.
10:31 p.m.

Scully opened the door of the motel room. The room smelled musty, and she
thought of all the motel rooms she and Mulder has stayed in in the last
four years. All the same, from the smell to the tacky decorations to the TV
bolted to the dresser. God, she was tired. The briefing had taken alot out
of her. It had taken all of her control just to get through the damn
thing. She was glad Skinner hadn't been there. It would have made it even
more difficult.

The curtains were drawn, the room dark. She closed the door behind her and
touched her forehead to the cold wood. Sighing, she wondered if it would
ever feel safe again.

"How did it go?" a voice from the darkness said.

She turned quickly, slightly surprised, even though she had been expecting
him to be here. "It went exactly as planned." she squinted trying to make
out his shape in the darkness. As her eyes adjusted she saw he was sitting
on the edge of the bed. She dropped the paper bag she had brought in on the
dresser, walked towards him, and sat down beside him, close, but not
touching, even though at this moment she sure as hell could use some
comforting.

"They believed the lie then?"

"Yes, yes they did. In fact, I was so convincing I almost believed it
myself, Mulder."

He laughed, it sounded hollow though, "Well that's funny, Dana Scully
almost believes! Stop the presses."

"Mulder, I may have not always believed in some of the theories you've
expounded on, but I've always believed in you."

He turned towards her and laid his hand on her arm "I know you have
Scully, and I don't think I could have gotten through these last four years
without your belief and trust." He got up suddenly and turned on the
light. He turned around and looked at his partner, his friend. "And how
have I repaid you? With cancer. That's how. Because of me, THEY gave you
cancer," his voice was anguished, his face contorted with pain.

"Mulder, we have no proof that my cancer was given to me by anyone. I
would most likely have contracted it even if we had never met." Scully got
up from the bed and walked towards him.
Thinking that somehow she had to convince him this wasn't his fault.
Standing in front of him she looked up and said, "How I got it doesn't
matter, however, they are using it against you, to try to stop you from
finding out the truth." 

Sighing he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulders "Scully, I
would give up the truth if it would make you well again," His hazel eyes
clouded and he gripped her shoulders tightly "I feel responsible for
everything that has happened to you."

"Wait a minute Mulder, YOU are not responsible for anything that has
happened. I accepted this assignment four years ago and I don't regret one
moment of it. I love this job. It has meant everything to me. Sure, there
have been times when I thought maybe a full time job at Quanitco in the
forensics lab performing autopsies all day might be a welcome relief,
especially after the Pfaster case. But, you know what? I would have been
bored stiff there."

"Scully, did you just say stiff?"  he laughed.

"Mulder, do you have to make a joke out of everything" she said trying to
scold him, but found herself slightly grinning.

"Yeah, well you know me Scully, a laugh a minute."

"You're a real laugh riot Mulder. Anyway what I was trying to say, is
that I have chosen the path my life has taken and I'm not at all sorry with
that choice." She grasped his hands that were still resting on her
shoulders. "I don't want you to stop searching for the truth, ever. The
time may come soon when you will have to go on alone and I want you to
promise me that you will keep trying to find those truths AND Samantha."

"Is this the old "do it for the Gipper" speech Scully? Because if it is
you can just can it." He dropped his arms from her shoulders and walked
back over to the bed. He sat down and rested his head in his hands as if
suddenly very weary. 

Scully wanted to go to him and put her arms around him, to comfort him,
hell, to comfort herself. She wondered what he would do if she did that? He
had comforted her at the hospital, one of her moments of weakness, she
thought with a grimace. But before she could act on her impulse, he
suddenly looked up at her.

"What if I don't want to go on without you? What if without you, this just
doesn't mean a helluva lot to me anymore?"

"Mulder, I don't understand. You were working on the X-Files long before
we were partners, why would you give it up?"

"Because I would no longer have the heart for it Scully". He looked at
her, then quickly looked away as if he'd said too much, revealed too much.
"When you were taken two years ago, I felt I could barely go on. I didn't
realize until you were gone, how much I'd come to depend on you, how much
you meant to me." He looked up at her again his eyes imploring her to
understand ,"If I lose you again, it would be like losing the other half of
myself and there is no way I could continue OUR work. Because it's not
just my work anymore, it ours, and it could never be the same if you
weren't here. I would never be the same without you." 

Scully felt tears welling up and she blinked several times to dissipate
them. Mulder had said more in that short speech than he'd said about their
relationship in four years. She also knew that he would go on without her
if it came to that. Her death would propel him to find the truth, whatever
it may be. She knew that as sure as she knew her own name.

"Mulder, are you okay?" she asked

"I'm fine, Scully" he muttered.

Scully half smiled, thinking of all the times she had said the same to
him, even when it wasn't true.

"Listen Mulder" she said as she walked over to the bed and sat beside him.
"I'm not giving up. The reason we perpetrated this hoax of your untimely
death was to buy us more time, without certain impediments, to find out if
there is anything that can eradicate this cancer. I'm fighting this as hard
as I can, and I need you to be here to help me."

"I am here Scully, and I will do whatever it takes to help you." His hand
raised to her cheek and softly stroked her. She reached her had up to still
his and held his hand to her cheek. There was more she would like to say,
but now wasn't the time. They were both tired and there was still alot to
do.

"I know Mulder" she whispered.  "I never doubted it for a moment."

They sat that way for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.
Thoughts that would be, had to be, discussed, but not now. They pulled
apart, both of them more than a little overwhelmed by what they were
feeling.

"Scully, it's time to get to work.  By the way, did you bring some food?"

"Yes, over there," she pointed to the paper bag she had brought in with
her. Mulder walked over to the dresser and opened the bag.

"What did you get?"

"Turkey sandwich and chips" she replied.

"Great, I'm starving" he pulled the sandwich out "And thirsty too,
committing suicide works up quite the thirst. What's the beverage?"

"Iced tea."

He turned and smiled as their eyes met.

"Okay, Scully, let's get to work."


THE END