From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: Fri, 21 Apr 2000 00:13:21 -0500
Subject: After the Rain by Ian Gold
Source: direct

Reply To: animalnut66@msn.com


The X Files belong to...well we all know who 
they belong to, so let's get on with it!  
This is my first posting ever anywhere.  It 
takes place in the middle of season 6.  


After the Rain
Ian Gold
 


A plane from Kansas to Washington D.C.

"Scully. Scully."  "Are you awake?"
Even with her eyes closed, Dana Scully could give him 
that "look."
"What Mulder?"
"Do we gaze at each other?"
"What?"
"You know, gaze, look longingly?"
"Mulder the high altitude is affecting your
 brain again - or maybe that cow hit you on the head."
"C'mon Scully, I am trying to ask you a serious 
question.  Holeman said he saw how we gazed at 
each other and that it must mean we have a deep, 
intimate involvement with each other."
"Mulder, I am trying to sleep, between flying
cows and weird weather phenomena, I am beat,
and we still have a mountain of paperwork to invent 
for this supposed X-File."
"You are avoiding this conversation. Why?"
Scully opening her eyes sternly fixed
 her gaze on Mulder.
"We have been partners for six years Mulder. 
We are also, shall I be so bold to point out, 
very good friends.  For all this to work, 
we would naturally need to have a 
connection of sorts.  Don't you think people 
would misunderstand, or misread 
our comfort level with each 
other as an intimate relationship.  
Or, look at it this way, at some 
level, we know each other better 
than many married couples ever will. 
We have had any number of near-death 
experiences, have dealt with extreme 
loss and stress, and always (unless you 
ditched me, she thought to herself) together.  
Neither one of us dates, we are married 
to our work, and all in all live 
cloistered pathetic lives."
"Gee Scully, could you paint a more 
colorful picture?"  
Scully turned her head back to the window.  
She heard the little-boy hurt in his 
voice, but she just wasn't in the mood 
to explore this conversation any further.  

For six years, she had found herself 
becoming more and more entrenched in 
Mulder's life and in his quest for the 
truth.  Every day, a little more of her 
was lost in his orbit.  Sometimes she 
could even feel his pain.  "If this is 
what love is," she thought, "than I don't 
know if I am strong enough to handle it."  
She felt, or sensed that Mulder was having 
a similar response to her.  Hell when she'd 
had cancer, she was sure she would pull 
through it better than Mulder, and that was 
even if it had not gone into remission.  
Mulder took the weight of her world and 
his on alone.  He held himself 
responsible for all the things that 
had happened to her and nothing she 
could say or do to change his mind had worked.  

An airplane suspended above the Midwest 
was the last place she wanted to bear 
her soul to Mulder, but then again, 
she thought, this plane could crash 
and he'd never hear the truth, her 
truth.  Scully turned her head back 
to face Mulder.  His head was bowed 
and his lips were working a sunflower 
seed.

"Yes, we do gaze at each other," she 
said quietly, waiting for his reaction.  
The seed stopped moving and an intense 
set of hazel eyes looked up at her from 
beneath a furrowed brow.
"We do?"
"Mulder, this is not exactly how I 
envisioned having this conversation, 
but I guess now is as good a time as 
ever. Once, after that stupid stunt 
you pulled in the Bermuda Triangle, 
you told me you loved me.  Mulder, 
did you mean it, or were you loopy 
on drugs?"
Mulder absorbed her question, and took 
his time to formulate his answer.  She 
had surprised him again.  He never 
thought they'd delve into this 
forbidden topic.  Scully never spoke 
of the almost kiss in the hallway, 
the one interrupted by that God forsaken bee.  
And, when he had told her he loved her in 
the hospital, he had been on drugs, but 
all they did was break down his normal 
inhibitions, not create new feelings.  
A simple answer would do the trick he 
thought. No sense going into the fact 
that he had been madly in love with her 
for almost the entire six years they had 
been working together.  
"Yes, Dana (that will really sound sincere) 
I do love you."  There he said it.  
Now, two things could happen.  Either 
his whole world was going to come crashing 
down, in that case, the plane may as 
well go down too, or she was going to 
confide to him her true feelings.  He knew 
she loved him, but was unwilling or unable 
to acknowledge her feelings.
"Oh."  Dana Scully MD felt like her life 
was passing through one of the pivotal 
moments.  One where life as you know it 
changes and you are hopeless to stop the 
momentum.  He'd said it, said, "I love you."  
Now what were they going to do?
"Is that your only reaction - Oh"?  
The hurt was back in his voice. 
"Mulder, I am sorry, it's just that...I don't 
know what to say."
"How about admitting for once in your life,
 Dana Katherine Scully, that you love 
me too?"
Dana sat there for a moment, and then, 
much to her surprise, as well as to his, 
instead of answering, she leaned over 
and kissed Mulder on the lips.  Sitting 
back to see his reaction, Dana thought 
to herself, "well I guess I just put my 
money where his mouth is."  And, she 
started to giggle not a normal occurrence 
for the cool and composed Dr. Scully, 
Special Agent to the Aliens.  That last 
thought made her laugh even harder.

Mulder was stunned.  He'd held Scully 
before, he'd even seen her in all her 
glory, but she'd never reached out to 
him like that before.  He watched her 
laughing and something deep in his 
chest relaxed.  He felt like he'd been 
holding his breath, and finally had 
remembered to breathe.  
"Am I to suppose that actions speak 
louder than words in this case, Agent Scully?"  
His voice was soft, and she heard his 
smile in the tone before she looked up 
and saw his expression.  She stopped laughing, 
and shyly looked down, a slight hint of 
blush on her cheeks.
"Yes," she almost whispered.
"Then say it."  He urged.  He needed 
to hear her say she loved him to 
complete his fantasy-come-true.
"I love you Fox William Mulder, and 
I have for a very long time."
Mulder reached up and turned her 
face to him.  He saw himself in her 
eyes, he saw his best friend, the 
only human in the world he trusted, 
and he saw for the first time, a 
very scared, Dana Scully.
"You are petrified aren't you?"  She 
only nodded.
"You never need to be afraid of me."  
And with that he drew her to his side 
and tucked her head under his chin.  
She reached up and ran her fingers 
across his face.  Here was this complicated, 
sometimes infuriating man.  Her best 
friend, her partner, her lover?  
It seemed surreal.

The remainder of the flight had been 
uneventful.  The plane did not crash, 
and Scully fell asleep curled up next 
to Mulder his arm draped casually around 
her shoulders.  Mulder of course, did 
not sleep.  In fact, he doubted he'd 
ever sleep again.  The whole exchange had 
taken merely minutes, but in that microcosm 
of time his entire world had been turned 
upside down.  
That was way too easy he thought to himself.  
She's gonna wake up and have the 
"oh my God what have I done" reaction, 
and the next 6 months will be the hell 
of her re-denying her feelings.  A soft 
ringing sound caught his attention as the 
pilot turned on the fasten- seat -belts- sign 
and the flight attendants made the 
customary arrival announcements.  
If the plane lands, Mulder mussed 
to himself, his fantasy world will be 
left in the friendly skies.

Scully moved away from his embrace and 
readjusted her seat and safety belt.  
Mulder immediately felt the loss of 
her body heat pressed against his side.    
"Please don't let her regret this," he 
thought to himself.

Scully felt like every muscle in her 
body was tied in little knots and being 
stretched beyond their capacity.  She 
rolled her neck and shoulders, sneaking 
a sideways look at her newly professed 
love as her head made its endless rotations. 
He looked pensive, his brow creased 
in concentration, the shell of a sunflower 
seed protruding from his lips.
"Mulder. Mulder"
"Hugh"
"Earth to Mulder, come in Mulder"
" Scully, what, did you say something?"
"Just your name, you look like you 
are about to cry...is it something I said? 
Because if it is, I am really going to 
regret that little conversation we had."
"Regret?" Mulder's face looked like a 
storm cloud had just rolled in and 
hovered just about his head.
Scully realized immediately that he 
only heard the words, "I am really 
going to regret that little conversation 
we had," not the bantering tone she 
attempted to take.
"Mulder, I was kidding, you know, 
teasing, jesting, ha ha?  I don't 
regret or take back what I said before, 
I do love you."
She saw him release his breath.  
This was going to be complicated no 
matter how they went about it.  It was 
yet again not an appropriate moment for 
another heart wrenching conversation, 
but something had to be said now.
"Mulder, listen to me very carefully.  
This joint confession of ours has and 
will continue to change our lives.  What it 
can't do, what I won't let it do is ruin our 
friendship, because without that particular 
part of this equation, our relationship 
becomes a matter of lust.  I can't 
have that with you and I don't want to 
have that with you. Do you understand?"

Mulder wanted to pinch himself.  She 
was literally reading his mind, and 
to hear her statement almost made 
him want to cry... tears of joy that 
was.  "What a silly sap I've become," 
he thought.
"Scully, I love your eyes, your hair, 
your opinionated speeches, your stock 
of corporate blue suits, even that 
beat up sweatshirt you like to sleep 
in when we are on the road.  I would 
love you even if we never consummated 
our relationship, it could never just 
be about lust for me."
"I am glad to hear that Mulder, because 
honestly, for a moment there I had 
visions of guarded conversations where 
neither one of us could speak our 
minds for fear of saying the wrong 
thing, or fear of disagreeing on some 
issue or another.  It's going to happen 
as it always has, and if we are to maintain 
our professional relationship, we have 
to make sure that the romantic 
involvement does not cloud our ability 
to objectively do our jobs."
"Which brings up another point...Scully, 
we are going to have to be very careful..."
"I know we are probably breaking 
every rule in the book...
"Do you care?"
"No."
"Good, then we will work it out.  
I know this is not going to be easy, 
but Scully, I couldn't go another 
minute without telling you how I felt.  
I just hope we never live to regret it."
"Mulder, I will never regret loving 
you, ever."
Scully sealed her promise with a 
chaste kiss on Mulder's lips.  Her 
touch lingered, soft and wet on his 
lower lip as she slowly pulled back 
to sit in her seat.
"So, can I give you a ride home 
Scully?"
"Mulder you drove."
"Oh, well then, then can I take 
you home and stay?"
Scully arched her eyebrows and a sly 
grin crossed her face.  " And where 
are you planning to sleep Mulder?" 
she asked seductively.
"On the couch of course," he 
responded a sly grin of his 
own turning the corners of his mouth.
"Oh, and I had such grand plans for 
the wee hours of this morning...oh well, 
guess I'll have to find another 
partner to fall in love with..."
"Scully, you are a cruel woman, 
but I love you anyway," Mulder said 
with a chuckle.



The End