From: Annette Gisby <annette.gisby@which.net>
Date: Thu, 11 Nov 1999 12:55:59 -0000
Subject: NEW: AFTER THE STORM

TITLE: After The Storm
AUTHOR: Annette Gisby
EMAIL: annette.gisby@which.net
CLASS: Vignette
SPOILERS: Emily
ARCHIVE: ephemeral, spooky, gossamer.

AFTER THE STORM

I had always loved storms until then. There was something soothing
in hearing the wind, feeling like the rain was washing everything
away, things would be renewed, freshened.

I kept waiting for the storm of her tears, but it never came. Without
it, there could be no renewal, no starting over. I'd placed a hand
on her arm to stop her from looking into the coffin, but she ignored
my touch and lifted the lid anyway.

I turned away, unable to face what might be in there, what might not be
there. But in the end I too had to see.

There was nothing but sand and a small gold cross. Scully's cross.

She held it up to the light, as though not quite believing what she
held in her hands was real. She looked at me, as though I could offer
some explanation, some relief from her pain. But I had nothing to
offer except deceit.

Her family came and hugged her, with Tara holding the newest member
of the Scully clan. I cursed her inwardly for being so insensitive
as to bring a baby to Scully's child's funeral, but then realised
it had probably been Bill's idea. He didn't even believe that Emily
had been Scully's child.

But I knew. And Scully knew.

After they'd left the chapel, Scully turned to me with a look of such
raw pain that I almost felt myself double over with the hurt of it.
She didn't need to tell me how she felt, I knew.

Grief, anger, betrayal, were like arrows launched from her eyes,
and I knew who she wanted to pierce. Me.

I reached out a hand to comfort her, but she shrugged me off, turning
her back on me as she walked away. I tried to call after her, to say
something which would make it better, but my throat was dry and achey.
No words could compensate for what she'd been through. No words from
me would ever be enough.

I should have told her the truth all along. But it's too late now.
She'll never trust me again.

And the storm will never break.

END
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