From: "shameless325" Date: Mon, 15 Apr 2002 21:29:19 -0000 Subject: xfc: NEW: Alive By Rebekah Source: xfc TITLE: Alive AUTHOR: Rebekah RATING: G CATEGORY: Vignette/Mulder/ScullyRomance(it's a prose piece). SPOILERS: Set in early S8, references to S1-S2(Attitudes) The Blessing Way, and spoilers for Redux, Christmas Carol, Emily, Milagro, Requiem, Within. (Yes someone is VERY stuck in the past.) DISCLAIMER: They're not mine, I'll put 'em back when I'm done. ARCHIVE: Gossamer, Ephemeral... sure, otherwise y'all gotta ask me first. SUMMARY: Thoughts of the lost and lonely. NOTES & ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: At end FEEDBACK: I don't know if I like the stuff yet (haven't gotten much), but please... if you feel the need. Tell me what you thought of the piece. Be kind though, this is my first submitted story. Shameless325@yahoo.com Oh, this was not gone over by a Beta... if anyone wants to help me out with that... address is as above. X*X*X*X*X ALIVE By Rebekah The ceiling is flat and white, tiny cracks scar its surface. Studying its imperfection in the early hours of the morning. Leaving the windows open, hearing the traffic outside, keeping me from feeling my loneliness. "Loneliness is a choice," I said that some time ago. Now it doesn't feel like a choice, now it's a torture. So many times I was left alone. Never with my family though. I wasn't used to being abandoned; no one can get used to that feeling. Not being wanted, or needed. In the beginning, it was my punishment for a title in his life, 'partner'. He left me hanging, time and time again. But I welcomed him back, an obligation to our work. I believed in his passion, I still do. But right now, I just wish he would appear, sitting in my bedroom. Lights out, in my armchair, warning me to not take off my clothes. I never really thought about having children. Until two years ago, when we discovered a little girl. Emily, three years old, blonde, and dying. She looked just like my sister. Looking into her eyes was like seeing Missy again. I miss her so much. My older sister was brought back in the form of a little girl. A brave child... she died. She fingered my necklace... I unclasped it placing it around her small neck. A simple gold cross, it felt right seemingly giving Missy hers back. So small and frail, I wanted to take her into my arms, and never let go. Then she was gone. I was at her funeral, opening her miniature casket, finding our cross, on top of her ashes. An UN-conscience decision. I took it back, for me, and my future children. Even if I knew then that would never happen, but some how I knew in my heart that that could change. The most surreal moment of my life to date was an invasion and a break through. This intelligent young man had his heart in his hand. A writer, writing me so well that it flattered and terrified me. I wanted him for a millisecond, fleetingly conjuring lustful thoughts. They didn't feel like mine. The moment he walked out of that cell, the mettle bars clanking shut, I knew he would say something life changing. I dreaded it, and he said what I never thought could be justified or seen. "Agent Scully is already in love." My heart stopped. Now I stand in front of my mirror, staring myself down. I can't bring myself back from the realization. And then the brick wall that I feel slammed against. I'm alive I'm more alive than ever, but I am lost. How could I have let myself fall? How could I be so alive, that life could grow inside of me? How could I let him leave? The End No, really, it's over... click on the back button and go find another story to scrutinize. But if you don't feel like readin' anymore you can always write to me and tell me whatcha' thought of the story. I found an unfinished story on a discarded disk. I looked it over, edited it up a bit. And sent it on to a friend to tell me if it was (and I quote myself) "Sucks like Mariah Carry in 'Glitter', or as good as Homer's 'The Iliad'?" She told me to submit it immediately. Thank you Ashlee! I just found out that in May 2002, The X-Files TV series will have it's series Finale. Let us pay homage to the Carter/Spotnitz idol's in our homes... and try our damndest to persuade them to make the second XF movie. Either that or bribe Fox. Alright before I say good-bye indefinitely... I gotta submit that THIS is the first story/piece what-have-you that I've EVER completed Okay... you can go now.