From: "Trifan Incognito" <trifan_incognito@hotmail.com>
Date: Tue, 16 May 2000 23:54:52 MDT
Subject: All Heart's Desire
Source: direct

Scully stopped at her apartment briefly for a quick change. They found their 
way to the new mole hole easily enough. It was a large brownstone totally 
indistinguishable from the others that lined the street. He wondered briefly 
how they had gotten a truckload of military personnel inside without 
arousing suspicion. The guard that let them in recognized Scully, but didn't 
seem so sure about Mulder.

The crew looked a whole lot better. They looked rested and focused. They all 
had a clean change of clothing on. Adam was sitting at the kitchen table 
finishing up his breakfast that apparently one of the soldiers had cooked.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said pointedly. "What's in the boxes?"

"The makings of a coffin big enough to fit what's left of the Syndicate," 
came Mulder's reply.

"I'm sorry if we worried you. I brought you something to wear." Scully said 
as she held out the suit for him.

She had picked up on the fact that Adam had been worried. She felt a surge 
of guilt that she quickly washed down with the rationale that she had been 
left to worry for a lot longer than he had. Still, she found that she liked 
Adam. He was considerate and charming in a way that was endearing. He had 
that whole professional good looking thing down pat too, which can never 
hurt to have. His cockeyed grin was somewhat reminiscent of Mulder's own.

"I can't remember the last time I wore a suit."

He smiled and took it though. When he reappeared wearing it, he suffered the 
good-natured teasing of his colleagues. He looked pretty good dressed for 
business, Scully noted. Mulder noted her noting him. Not that he would ever 
say anything. No siree. Scully would never go for the "jealous boyfriend" 
bit, not in the least.

Mulder wasn't really sure where all of these feelings of jealousy were 
coming from anyhow. Maybe it all stemmed from the obviously easy way they 
interacted at a time when they were struggling. It had taken him forever to 
get to where he was in her heart. He would never disrespect her in that way, 
by second guessing her. Besides, Scully was devoted and in love with him. He 
had confidence in that at least, even if she'd never said as much.

McDougall came by to pick them up. He seemed pleased by their appearance. He 
explained that there had been a massive roundup of known Syndicate members. 
They had used all of their resources and knowledge to pick up every part of 
the group they could. They somehow managed to get all of the top players. 
The meeting they would be going to would not be conventional, by any means. 
A panel of presidential advisors would be listening to the Council's 
arguments only.

The suspected Syndicate members were not on trial here, McDougall made this 
very clear. It was merely an argument to defend the compound's existance and 
to throw to light the workings of the Syndicate. The panel formed to advise 
the president was constructed hastily, yet they understood the matter at 
hand. The panel would be making the judgement call on where things would go 
from here officially.

Bureaucracy. Mulder had the incredible urge to just run.


==============================

If Scully was impressed at appearing before an anonimous subcommittee, she 
wasn't showing it. They were hustled through three seperate checks, each one 
reassuring her that they were safe amongst their enemies. The session would 
be locked down. By the way security was running, nothing would get in or 
out. No phone calls would be permitted. It seemed strange to have a 
seemingly democratic process in clear violation of civil rights. They 
learned that they were virtual prisoners until the matter became sorted out.

"Jesus," Adam whispered. He was looking at the assembly of men milling about 
cautiously in the large conference room. Everyone present seemed to be in 
various states of attire. It was clear that none of them were given any time 
to dress for the occasion. "That's Matt Barnes, special attache to the 
British Foreign Delegate. Geez, international shit. And that's Earnie 
'Bulldog' Sinclair. You hear of him?" he asked Mulder. Mulder hadn't. "He 
pretty much runs the military. Well, in strictly the covert sense anyways. 
No doubt these guys aren't here willingly. This room is packed with the 
thorns in my side of the last five years."

"And here is mine." Mulder was nodding to an older gentleman that one would 
hardly recognize without the Morley hanging from his mouth.

"These are all of the key players. Blow up this room now and I am sure that 
no one could save the world," Adam commented. Mulder looked at him. *That* 
was a scary thought. Just then, Skinner showed up in the doorway. Scully and 
Adam went over to talk with him. Mulder couldn't take his eyes off of CGB 
Spender.

When Cancerman noticed Mulder standing alone he made his way over, smiling 
as though they were old friends. Mulder returned the smile in kind. It was a 
challenge that only players knew.

"You're going down today. I have waited a long time for this," Mulder said 
with no small amount of gloating. He could see something behind Spender's 
eyes. Fear?

"You'd do well to remember Mulder that I have helped you along the way as 
well." Mulder smiled.

"You're not going to do that you son-of-a-bitch." He said it cordially, as 
though talking to the President himself, his smile never waning. "You aren't 
going to slime out of this one. You sold out the human race and now it's 
time to pay the piper. Hopefully with blood."

"Don't be so sure."

If the statement had of been said at any other time, Mulder might not have 
waivered in his belief. But as it was said CGB was looking across the room 
at Scully. Mulder was suddenly very glad that she'd pressed the suit issue. 
You needed to suit up in order to keep the dirt from you when you cleaned 
out the sewer.

"She's quite something, isn't she?" Mulder's eyes narrowed.

"You're not fit to breathe the same air," the charade of amicability had 
vaporated.

Spender continued as though Mulder hadn't said a word.

"It's a good thing that our technology cured her cancer. That one little 
chip became all-important, didn't it? It's something you don't want to 
lose."

"You aren't threatening me you black lunged *fuck*. You are going down 
today. Your entire organization is. I'll be watching your burial on CNN with 
a bag of Doritos in my hand and Scully beside me on the couch. You're a 
traitor to the human race and your employment history is going to come to 
light."

"The only thing that makes one man a hero and another a traitor is which 
side wins the war. It's not over yet. I have other cards to play."

"Well, I guess that this meeting will see the outcome of that."

"The Roman Empire wasn't built by meetings, Mulder, it was built by killing 
anyone who opposed it."

"Mulder," Scully had appeared and placed a hand on his arm, beckoning him to 
join them. He moved himself between Cancerman and his partner and guided her 
back towards Skinner.

Skinner acknowledged Mulder with a quick nod.

"Sir, can you tell me why this hearing is being held in this forum? This 
isn't exactly protocol, if there were such a thing for this situation."

"You are hardly one to dictate protocol Mulder. This is an extremely 
sensitive and volatile situation."

"This all needs to go on public record. I don't want these bullshit 
politicians sweeping this one. People have a right to the truth."

"If you ever needed to follow political etiquette Agent Mulder, it's now."

"What?" Mulder wore his perfect "who...me??" expression.

"I mean it, you need to keep your personal interests in check and your mouth 
shut as much as possible. Between you and Adam, you'll be the ones that 
float or sink the ship."

He was sounding for all the world like a coach before the big game. Mulder 
looked at Scully. She looked worried too.

"You don't think I can handle this?"

"Of course you can handle this Mulder. But can *they* handle it? You aren't 
exactly known for your ability to wow the powers that be. You need to 
present your evidence in a logical and concise manner, without introducing 
*any* opinion. Do you understand that? Just the facts. That's all they'll 
see."

Mulder almost laughed then.

"If that's all they'll see, then we have lost already! Most of what's in 
these files, I followed on nothing but a hunch. I'm right--you know it, they 
know it. Proof isn't something these guys leave lying around."

She pulled him away from their little group and spoke quietly.

"Mulder...the passion you have for your work is part of why I..." Love me? 
he thought. She swallowed hard.

"...it's part of what I respect about you. But it doesn't play well in this 
arena." He looked away from her. "I'm not telling you not to relay your 
emotions, I'm just asking that you show these men the respect that you have 
been unable to show the hierarchy at the bureau."

"I only treated them with the contempt they treated me with first."

To Scully that just had all the smackings of 'they started it!' 
childishness.

"Okay. But these are the men who will help bring this to an end. We need to 
play things their way." He nodded, more resigned than happy.

The meeting was called to order. It had the shapings of a congressional 
hearing more than the round table discussion they were presenting it as in 
their opening address. The people seemed almost perfectly divided. Smoking 
Man and various other players on one side, Mulder and crew on the other. 
Mulder looked each man over carefully. So these were the players, he 
thought.

McDougall began his address to the delegates. He talked about being shot and 
about being a member of the Council and their purpose. When asked about 
Winwood's lack of attendance, the good Senator explained that he had 
disappeared from the White House and that no one could explain how. This 
didn't look good for their side.

Adam was called in turn to talk about his role in the Council and to defend 
his actions and relate the events of the last week. He was a man that didn't 
exist with no one to testify as to his credibility.  The panel pointed out 
that he'd had a sizeable amount of money filtered to the project. The 
implication was that this could be a motive for forwarding what could be 
mass delusion.

Adam told what he knew of the players across the room and of the alien 
conspiracy. Under questioning, he had to admit though that most of his 
evidence had been destroyed in the compound fire.

Mulder was up. Some of the faces in the room were from their meeting under 
the White House. There were too many unfamiliar faces though. He tried to 
stick to the questions at hand.

"Can you collaborate Adam Roberts' account of what's been going on Agent 
Mulder?" the chairman asked.

"Yes, I can. I was there at the compound and then inside the ship with him."

"And you saw the things he said you did, including human beings held there 
against their will and apparently being tested?"

"Yes sir."

"And you have been on another ship in the Antarctic?"

"Yes sir."

"What can you tell us about that?"

"My partner was being held there. I found her and injected her with the 
vaccine. She recovered. I saw others in that ship. Hundreds. As far as I 
could tell, they were all growing these creatures inside their stomachs."

"How could you tell that?" one of the other members asked.

"Well, I could see them. The effect the virus was having on the bodies....it 
seemed to turn the skin translucent. Some of the aliens were fully 
developed."

"And Agent Scully can back up what you're saying?"

Mulder flashed his eyes down. "No, of course not, she was unconscious for 
the most part and doesn't remember it. But the files that I have here 
contain as much evidence as I have been able to gather about connections 
that the group of men we call the Syndicate had. They show a key player, 
that man over there" he pointed to Spender, "and his connection to what can 
best be synopsized by the word 'conspiracy'. There is a trail of dead bodies 
and everything I have been able to document is contained in them."

"You say 'evidence'. If that's the case, why haven't these murders gone to 
trial?"

"Because these men don't leave any obvious connections. How can you gather 
concrete evidence when they have the ability to systematically erase it all, 
along with the people who could testify against them? Hard evidence goes 
missing without explanation. How can these men be brought to justice if they 
control the system?"

There was a murmur of voices in the room before the chairman asked for 
silence. The questioning proceeded along without a hitch. Scully was proud 
of Mulder. When she was sure he was going to raise his voice in defense, he 
merely answered the questions calmly and factually.

"We're going to take a short break. Afterwards we will hear from Agent 
Scully."

The room cleared before Mulder got up.

"I think that went well," Adam said, but his voice hadn't held much 
conviction. It was all too clear that the entire thing was resting on 
Mulder's word for the most part.

"Where's Scully?"

"She went to freshen up," came Skinner's response.

Mulder walked off into the hallway, suddenly concerned for his partner.

================================

Scully was almost into the restroom when Cancerman caught up to her.

"I have nothing to say to you."

"He puts you through a lot. Your loyalty is admirable. It's nice to see that 
in this troubled time."

"You have been playing God for so long that you aren't capable of 
recognizing human emotion anymore." She reached for the door of the ladies 
room.

"I'm not the one you should be angry with Agent Scully. It's your partner 
who's been keeping your choices from you. You could've had the family you've 
always wanted if not for him." It was obvious that he had something to say. 
She felt powerless to walk away.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you ask him what's in cold storage under the name of Katherine 
Northern in the Century Epoch Laboratory right here in Washington?"

By the time Mulder reached them, Cancerman was walking away.

"What'd he say to you?" Scully's face was perfectly puzzled.

"Mulder, who is Katherine Northern?" Mulder paled. To be truthful, he looked 
like his legs would give way under him. Guilt flooded his face.

"Mulder?" He fidgeted and then began rubbing his chin as though trying to 
erase the tension. Scully was wondering if he remembered she was there.

"Scully, we have to talk about that later, not now."

"I want to know now. I don't want to go into that hearing less than prepared 
for what will be thrown at me."

"Scully....I wouldn't know where to begin..."

"Mulder, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

"Alright...look," he paused, looking for the right words, "when you first 
got sick, with cancer...I was looking for the people who did that to you..." 
He looked down, the words were not coming easily. "I told you about 
Lombard...Scanlon was on staff there...I did some snooping...I found out 
something about what they'd done with the eggs they'd taken from you." 
Realization dawned in her face.

"Katherine Northern...oh god" Scully closed her eyes and covered her face 
with one hand. She could fill in the blanks herself. A wave of nausea hit 
her with the realization of what he was saying. She pushed into the restroom 
just in time to be sick. He'd just pulled the last worn tatter of rug out 
from beneath her.

*ohgodohgodohgodohgod*

Did she even know Mulder at all anymore? It was a struggle to reconcile the 
Mulder she was learning about with the man that she shared so much with. He 
had kept a path to her future in cryofreeze, allowing her to believe that 
she had no choices in that direction. He knew what that would mean to her. 
How could he have done that?

She needed some focus now though. She couldn't allow the twists of deception 
to cloud her mind. Like Scarletter O'hara, she couldn't think about any of 
that now. She needed to push it from her mind and concentrate on her 
testimony. She got up and rinsed her mouth at the sink.

"Scully are you ok?" She was cleaning her face up, holding a cold cloth to 
her eyes in hopes of not appearing upset.

"Get out of here, it's the lady's room."

"Can you hear my explanation?"

"No...No, I can't. I don't want to." Fury rose in her. "YOU WERE PLAYING GOD 
WITH MY LIFE! They took that from me, you kept it from me. That makes you no 
better than them." Her voice choked off to a croak. It was the worst thing 
she could have said to him and told of how badly she needed him to know she 
felt. She swiped at fresh tears. "I can't look at you right now...at least 
give me that!"

There was not too much more that he could say. He had to give her the space 
to deal with what she was feeling. He turned and walked out. Adam approached 
him.

"Everything okay?"

Mulder stared coldly down the hall to where CGB Spender was leaning against 
a doorway, staring back.

"It's nothing that a high-powered rifle and a clean shot wouldn't fix."

"Come on, they're reconvening."

They moved into the large room and found their seats again. Scully was 
nowhere to be seen. The chairman called people to order.

"Could Agent Scully please take the seat?" No one got up to approach the 
chair.

"Agent Scully?" he looked about the room. People were murmuring. Spender 
looked as comfortable as a fat cat on a cozy pillow. If he'd chosen that 
moment to smile, Mulder would have jumped over the chairs that seperated 
them and choked the man.

The door at the back opened and Scully walked in. Mulder breathed a sigh of 
relief. She looked perfectly composed. You'd have had to know her very well 
to sense that anything was wrong. She was the epitamy of composure.

They went through the preliminaries of identifying her credentials, the 
length of her involvement with the X-files and her general rank in the 
bureau. They asked her some fairly generic questions about her life. Then 
they got down into the dirt.

"You have no recollection of the events in the Antarctica?"

"No sir."

"You have no personal knowledge of the existance of extraterrestrials here 
on earth then?"

"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly. I have met someone whose capabilities I 
couldn't explain, who went by the name of John Winwood."

"This is the...uh...being that healed Senator McDougall?"

"Yes sir."

"And you saw this healing?"

"Yes sir."

"And as a doctor, what would your opinion be on how this was done?"

"I can't be sure how it was done sir. I just know what I saw and felt."

"Felt?"

"Yes sir. In the car on the way to get the Senator," she looked down at her 
hands, "he...um...he touched me and there was...like a current of 
electricity that passed through his hands." Mulder's eyes narrowed. "And 
when he touched the Senator, the gunshot wound just...disappeared. It was no 
longer there. I removed the tubing in his throat and he sat up."

"And this was the second time that you saw this then?"

"Yes sir."

"And what are your conclusions about this?"

"I am not sure that I can explain it. I believe that Winwood possesses some 
unique ability to heal."

"And do you believe that he is extraterrestrial then?"

"I believe that, yes," she said carefully.

The chairman was eyeing her suspiciously. Lies just didn't flow easily from 
Scully's mouth.

"You base this on what?"

"I base this on what I have heard and what I saw yesterday."

"What you've heard from Agent Mulder?"

"Yes sir."

"So your belief is based in your trust of him then."

"My belief is based on what I have seen as well as what I have been told by 
not only Agent Mulder, but Adam Roberts as well. I have no reason not to 
believe them." For some reason, the chairman was focusing more on the 
hearsay part than on what she'd seen.

The chairman was rifling through some papers now.

"You are on record as believing that the existance of aliens was a hoax 
perpetrated by the government."

"Yes sir, but that was a long time ago. I have come to believe that I was 
wrong. I believe that John Winwood was telling the truth. I *watched* him 
change his appearance. These are things that I can't explain any other way."

"And you believe Agent Mulder's testimony?"

"I believe that Agent Mulder is telling the truth, yes."

"By his own admission he deceived you into believing he died." She was 
suddenly feeling like she was defending not only him, but her own feelings 
of him.

"That still doesn't account for the testimony of the others here today. It 
doesn't address the issue of Senator McDougall's recovery." She was getting 
frustrated with the line of questioning. "Sir, what are we doing here? Agent 
Mulder shouldn't be the one in question. The only hard evidence you will get 
here today is sitting over there," she pointed to Senator McDougall.

Skinner wondered briefly if he maybe should have directed his "behave" 
speech at Scully instead of Mulder.

"Agent Scully, you have to understand that we are being expected to take his 
files and the word of a man whose identity doesn't exist for this government 
as concrete evidence here, we need to explore their credibility in order to 
do that."

Scully took a deep breath.

"There are blank parts to his files when it comes to the names of his 
sources. There is no way to verify his claims."

"He knows the difference between a conspiracy theorist and a good source. 
People only trust him because he would never reveal a source."

"Has he lied to you to protect his sources?"

"I would never have pushed for that knowledge."

"Has he lied to you about anything to the best of your knowledge?"

Scully paused.

"No."

The chairman stared at her. Mulder's face remained impassive, conceiling the 
inner turmoil he felt. He was struggling to make sense of her actions. She'd 
just lied to a panel appointed by the president to assess a situation 
critical to the government's further action. It wasn't a question of whether 
the lie was appropriate or not.  Mulder's mind flashed her face on the day 
he'd first met her. What was this all doing to her?

"Agent Mulder is well-known for his arrogance and paranoia, he..."

"If Agent Mulder is paranoid, it's for good reason sir. And as to his 
arrogance, I have seen him working on a thin thread of evidence and turn it 
into something actionable. His work is brilliant. Is it arrogant to know 
this about yourself?"

The chairman seemed at a loss for words.

"And the only encounters you've had with Adam Roberts involved his weaving a 
web of deceit for you. Is that correct?"

The chairman was making it all sound so dirty.

"When you are dealing with people whose very lives are Russian stacking 
dolls of lies, you sometimes need to play by their rules in order to gain 
the advantage."

Mulder could see that the questions were wearing on her. She was tough 
though and holding up. His own patience was waning. They'd been there for 
over six hours already. He was glad when almost an hour later, things seemed 
to wrap up.

"Agent Scully, we'd like to thank you for your input."

She started to get up, then stopped and readressed the panel.

"We *are* right. Some of the men sitting here have conspired against all of 
us, using the government as a cover, to advance their own interests. These 
men don't exist. You won't find a concrete evidence trail to convict them in 
any court of law. But we are right."

She spoke earnestly and with great conviction. The panel heads stared at 
her. A most convincing lie, considering the fact that Mulder knew that deep 
down she still wasn't reconciling the truth with the explanation she gave 
the panel. He knew somewhere deep down, she still believed it was all 
genetic mutations and human conspiracies. Unless it was explained for her 
scientifically, she wasn't fully on board.

Mulder could tell that the panel members were heavily considering her words. 
They passed a few private comments between them, then the chairman spoke 
again.

"We will take another short break and meet here again in ten minutes for our 
decision."

==============================

Adam approached her first.

"You were the turning point for us here today. You lent credibility to our 
cause. Thank you." Scully just nodded blankly.

Mulder approached her with veiled eyes.

"Why?" he asked her quietly, studying her face and realizing that she was a 
veritable swiss army knife of capabilities.

"I guess that I have learned a thing or two over the years."

He stared at her as she walked away towards the hallway. He tried to make 
sense of what she could be thinking.

"She's quite full of surprises, wouldn't you say?"

Mulder turned to find himself staring at his nemesis.

"To have her cover for you with a blatant lie. I wouldn't have expected that 
of her. I can see that I've underestimated her," then he smiled and added, 
"or had a most wonderful effect on her."

Fury rose crimson in Mulder's face. When he would have swung out at 
Cancerman, Adam stepped between them, securely grabbing Mulder's wrist and 
blocking his view of Spender. His jaw was set in a challenge. He wasn't 
going to let Mulder walk into that one.

"Back off, it's what he wants. Don't do this here. It could only hurt us and 
help him."

With that, he pushed Mulder away. Skinner kept him moving towards their 
seats again to wait on the committee's return. Adam turned back towards 
Morleyman. He scratched his forehead thoughtlessly, pondering the man.

"The only thing a man that doesn't exist has to fear is another man that 
doesn't exist. I have no job to lose, no life to lose. If they let you go, I 
won't," he spoke the promise casually.

Just as everyone was returning to their seats, soldiers poured in to fill 
the room. They pushed Scully back in along with a few of the others who had 
stepped out. Everyone looked around to find themselves flanked by 
high-powered rifles. Their own weapons had been confiscated before they 
entered. They shared troubled glances. Mulder estimated that there were 
between 40 and 50 guards lining the walls and surrounding the 50 or so 
people present. He started to get up when one of the guards directed him to 
sit back down.

The panel re-entered the room. They were not surprised to see the soldiers. 
The chairman spoke.

"We have decided that this matter needs further review. We will take a look 
at the files provided by Agent Mulder, as well as the evidence provided by 
the Bureau on the actions of the military at the Carroll County compound. 
With the exception of the men seated along that wall and the ones at this 
table, everyone will be taken into custody" the room broke into panicked 
murmurs "pending our decision on this matter. We will reconvene at 9 a.m. 
tomorrow."

The room was in an uproar. The soldiers moved in to seperate the group, 
taking Cancerman and his cronies into custody.

"On what grounds can you do this?!"

Mulder hadn't seen such a beautiful sight in a while. Spender being hauled 
off to spend the night in cold storage was just about enough to warm the 
cockles of his heart. He was quite sure that they would confiscate his 
cigarettes. And that was a pleasant thought.

"They will be held beneath the law, military jurisdiction," McDougall 
chuckled. "I doubt that the decision will play out any differently in the 
morning. The rest of us will be placed under house arrest till tomorrow's 
meeting. More as a security measure than anything. We need to address the 
problem once again. We need to gather everyone and figure out how we can end 
this. The upper Council members will be meeting shortly after the outcome is 
announced."

The Senator did a round of political hand-shaking. He was nearly bursting 
with pride. McDougall seemed to know that things would turn out for them. 
Mulder imagined that this had been his vindication and that he would come 
out smelling like a rose. That wasn't too bad, considering that he was one 
of the so-called good guys. It was about time things turned.

====================================

They arrived back at the brownstone tired. Skinner had been none too pleased 
at having to spend the night there. Like the rest of them, he tolerated it. 
He couldn't figure out what was going on between his star agents though. He 
watched them in the car on the way back. They sat next to one another, but 
hardly shared a glance. That was just out of character for them considering 
that this was the culmination of years of work for them. It seemed to be 
more than just exhaustion. Scully looked upset and Mulder just looked 
guilty.

Skinner had thought about their relationship over the years. It seemed to be 
built on a mutual respect and passion for their work. That was about where 
their similarities ended though. He never realistically entertained the 
thought that they were more than friends and partners. They were just too 
different. Aside from that, there was never any indication of the usual 
tension that surfaces from time to time between lovers. That is, until now.

Mulder followed her into the brownstone. Adam showed them to their rooms. 
There were six rooms that had been furnished with cots. Mulder would be 
sharing a room with Adam and Skinner. Scully, being the only woman, would 
have a room of her own.

Adam recounted the events to his crew as everyone ate a late dinner. Scully 
had been noticeably absent. The conversation became quite animated as they 
began discussing the ship once again. Case and Stick were focusing on the 
pipe in the ship and what the chemistry of the virus was like. Mulder stayed 
fairly quiet.

He didn't really care what Skinner would think, when the house settled for 
the night, he went to Scully's door. He opened it and stole quietly in.

"Don't you knock?!"

The room was dark, Scully was in bed already.

"I would have, but you wouldn't have let me in."

"That would be the point of knocking Mulder, to give me a choice."

"You didn't have anything to eat."

"Did you come in here out of some misguided sense of concern for the 
contents of my stomach?"

"I need you to hear me out."

"I know that's what you need. But it's not what I need. I already know why 
you did what you did."

Mulder sat down on the edge of the cot. She was so near and yet so far away. 
"I don't believe this will break us Scully. This is something that we have 
to talk through, fight through...whatever. I just want to get through this."

"Mulder, you want to be put out of your misery. I am not sure that I can do 
that, or even if I want to at this point. I know you. I know your motives. I 
just don't agree with them. You made a choice for me when you let me believe 
that I had no choice. I don't know that I would have chosen that path, but 
the point is that you made that decision for me. And that just speaks to the 
issue of respect, or lack of it."

"I know how important respect is to you..."

"It's not just important to me, Mulder, it's important to everyone."

"When I first found the vial, I went to the hospital fully intending to give 
it to you. But...just looking at you Scully....your life was in turmoil. You 
didn't need another reminder of what had been done to you.

"The journal you wrote....you wrote to me, in it you spoke about what you 
wanted more than anything. You talked about our search for the truth. In my 
mind, I was storing it for the day that you were well and able to handle 
that decision in a proper context. I thought that I was protecting you. And 
then time just went by and .... it was wrong of me to have kept it from you. 
It was never my intention to take that from you."

"Is that the entirety of your explanation?" It didn't even speak to the 
issue at hand.

Mulder twisted his hands, trying to sort out the rest of what he had to say. 
His voice was hoarse as he tried to get out the last of his thoughts.

"In some ways, I was acting childish. I didn't want you to take that path, 
to leave the X-files..." Scully made a conscious effort to steel herself 
through what was being said, it was her only respite from the turmoil. "The 
truth was out there, but I needed you to help me find it...you're the only 
one who's believed in me...stood by me and supported me. You're my family, 
you're all I have. I was wrong, but I don't want to lose you over this..." 
He laid his head down on her stomach. He was softly begging for her 
understanding.  "I've wronged you in a way that I can never make up for. I 
am just asking that you can see past that and know that I did it for reasons 
that I thought were right at the time."

Part of her was angry that he was putting the burden on her to relieve his 
guilt. She didn't want to do this. She just couldn't now. Too much had gone 
on in the last few weeks. She needed some space to figure out where she was 
in all of this, where she wanted to be.

"I need you to leave Mulder. You have to give me some time. I don't know how 
to deal with these feelings. It's been too much at once."

After a while, he sat up again. He'd been crying. She could see him nod 
acceptance in the dark. A few minutes later he got up and left.

Only then could she let her own tears fall.

==================================

They were surprised when the meeting got underway again. There were only 
thirteen of them sitting around a table. All they needed was a carpenter's 
cup and some bread. The panel members were there, although Mulder still 
didn't know exactly who they were. None of the syndicate members were 
present.

"We've looked over most of what is in your files Agent Mulder. You've done a 
thorough job detailing everything in them." No one was more surprised at 
that comment than Skinner. Mulder wasn't exactly known for his ability to 
inform his superiors.

"While the details seem incredulous on the surface, in light of the events 
of the last three days and the testimony offered here, we can do nothing but 
accept what you've written at face value." There seemed to be a collective 
sigh of relief breathed then, although no sound accompanied it. "We are 
going to see the men involved punished along with making some 
recommendations for further action. The Council is still in place and under 
your direction Senator. We're proposing you continue with this and deal with 
the matter in a way that you consider prudent. With time being a factor, 
we've had to rush things here and won't keep you. I've been told that they 
are awaiting all of you for a meeting with the President's advisors." With 
that, the entire panel rose in unison to leave.

"Wait a minute. Make recommendations to whom? At what point are these men 
going to be tried for their actions?" No one stopped to answer Mulder's 
question. Adam grabbed his arm, telling him to stop just as he would have 
followed them into the hall. Mulder could only shake his head.

"People need to know this. Otherwise it gives license for this to happen 
again and again. Those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat 
it."

He looked over at Scully. She was still digesting what this would mean for 
all of them.

"Are you still on board?" Adam asked of her.

"Yes, of course, I will help in anyway I can." Adam seemed truly pleased by 
this. Although Mulder was glad she would stay on, he couldn't help but feel 
jealous of the way words were flowing between the two of them at a time when 
their own relationship was so strained.

=================================

By the time the day had ended, they had sat through a total of 17 hours of 
meetings over two days and they were all exhausted. Scully was just grateful 
to be able to go back to her own home. Visions of hot water and fresh 
clothing tickled her mind as she entered. She undressed as the tub ran hot. 
She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she headed for the tub.

She'd never given her body a whole lot of thought. She'd gone through the 
usual self-criticisms and admirations over the years. But as she stood there 
looking at herself, she tried to imagine what Mulder saw when he looked at 
her. Her waist was small. Her breasts weren't large by any means, but she 
thought that they were fine. She decided that she was too thin. The last few 
days had been spent in turmoil and that hadn't had a good effect on her 
appetite.

She dipped herself into the bath allowing the soothing warmth to overtake 
her. Sheer exhaustion claimed her and she soon found herself drifting 
asleep. It had taken her a long time to be able to get into a bath after the 
night Donnie Pfaster had visited. Sometimes it was still hard for her to 
burn a candle while she soaked. But she'd been determined, Pfaster wasn't 
going to take that from her.

She pulled herself from the tub and began to towel off. Her mind drifted to 
that time not so long ago.

She remembered the look on Mulder's face after she shot Pfaster. His eyes 
had been so unbelieving, she couldn't tell if there was disappointment in 
them or not...she had imagined that it was there in any case. Maybe she'd 
just been too hard on herself then. Maybe she was just being too hard on 
Mulder now.  Theirs was not a typical profession, nor did they have a 
typical relationship.

All in all though, she just wasn't sure how things were going to go. She'd 
given up so much of herself into his world. She didn't want to give anymore. 
  Maybe it was even time she took some of that back. If only she knew who 
she was and what it was that she was trying to reclaim.

She loved her life. There was no two ways about it. Monsters, mutants, 
aliens and all. She loved the challenge and push to reason she was 
confronted with. The question really became then, did she want to continue 
working with him? Her mind shouted a resounding "yes" to that question. 
Mulder was what made the journey worth it all.

*Mulder*

What did he mean to her? Could she see though this? In so many ways she felt 
like he was a child. He wanted his world a certain way and there wasn't much 
anyone could do to dissuade him on that. He wanted her to fit into that 
world in a certain way as well. It confused and hurt him when she wouldn't 
conform. He'd been protecting himself against her leaving him.

She understood where that reasoning came from in some ways. His own parents 
had been cruel and distant from him. From the snippets of information she'd 
gathered about them and from Mrs. Mulder, she had learned that his father 
had blamed him for Samantha's disappearance.  His mother was simply the 
queen of denial. She would never allow him the peace of mind that he so 
desperately needed. He rarely let anyone into his inner world anymore, 
besides Scully. At times he even shut her out of that. His intense fear of 
rejection built a veritable fortress around him. She didn't know that she 
could let what he'd done slip by though even with that understanding of him. 
She had to think about herself at some point. The trouble was, he was so 
much a part of her that when he hurt, she did too.

She set a match to the wood in the fireplace and settled her floor cushions 
around her for comfort. She opened a bottle of wine, made herself some 
crackers and cheese and sat down in front of the fire.  She loved to read 
like that. Tonight though, she couldn't get into her book. She just sat 
staring at the flames and thought about her complex life some more. She 
thought about how much Mulder meant to her and how empty she'd felt when she 
thought he'd been gone for good. She didn't want that to end. She reached 
for her phone. When his machine picked up, she just hung up. Just then, 
there was a knock on the door.

"Hey, I was in the neighborhood and thought that I would drop by and ask if 
I'd left my jacket here."

She silently went into her bedroom and returned with the coat. He looked at 
her more than a little surprised, she avoided his gaze. The coat had been an 
excuse, in truth he thought that he'd left it in the blown-to-smitherines 
car.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah Mulder, I'm fine." He stood there in the doorway, just nodding his 
head and trying to think of another way to prolong the conversation. They 
shared an awkward moment. Scully realized that as much as he did, she wanted 
to work through everything. She stepped to the side as a way of inviting him 
in. He stepped through the door.

"Told you I'd be back," he said. She wasn't as amused at his attempt at 
humor as he would have liked.  They were standing in the exact position 
they'd been in the night he'd gone. She was in the same bathrobe he'd 
reached into that night, although his trenchcoat was missing. They both just 
stood there, not quite sure what to say.

Mulder wanted to be near her, just to feel the way he did when she was 
around. The dynamics in the room just seemed to change when he took a step 
closer. He realized suddenly why she'd had his coat. Again he was whipped 
with the guilt stick. But she wasn't the one doing the flogging, this was 
pure self-recrimination.

"You kept my coat." The thought was sinking in.

He was looking at her more reverently than anything, almost as though he 
hadn't ever seen her before that moment. That wasn't too far from the truth. 
If there was ever any doubt, it was gone now. Scully loved him. She loved 
him deeply.

He reached for her hand. He gave it a quick squeeze. He just wanted her to 
know that he was there for her. She didn't look up at him - but she didn't 
pull her hand away either. He moved closer to her. He couldn't help but 
close his eyes and just allow himself to feel her with every cell in his 
body. Her presence was intoxicating. He could smell the wonderful smell of 
her hair, the subtle shiver he felt at her mere proximity. Was this 
chemistry?

He felt her other hand close over the one that held his jacket and he opened 
his eyes. She looked at him with a sobriety that made his heart ache. Her 
eyes held longing, understanding, forgiveness, wonder and love all mixed in 
a kaleidescope of emotion.

She held his heart right there in the palm of her hand.

He closed the distance between their lips, needing to consume her. She 
returned his kiss with ardour. He drew life from her lips. He took all that 
she was offering. They both shared a hopeful look when they parted.

"Are you hungry? I....have a little campfire picnic going on here" she said 
somewhat awkwardly.

He smiled a reply and took off his shoes. He headed for the fireplace, she 
went into the kitchen and returned with another glass. She poured in some 
wine and handed it to him. They didn't speak for a long time, both just 
sipping at their wine, lost in their thoughts.

"You know Mulder, forgiveness is a process. I understand why you did what 
you did. I guess that I just don't always agree with your reasoning." He 
looked at her as she stared into the fire. "You profile people all the time 
and you see who they are and understand them better than they do themselves. 
There are times though when I wonder whether you know who I am or if you 
even see me at all."

"I do see you, more than you know."

He looked down at his glass, staring at it intently as if he could analyze 
its contents.

"I don't know if you realize it Scully, but you are the only thing that 
keeps me grounded to the human race. In some ways I feel like more of an 
alien than the creatures I've been looking for. I don't know where I would 
be without you. It isn't only about the X-files. It's about how I feel with 
you, how you lend life to my existance. I wouldn't be where I am today 
without you...not professionally, although certainly that, but I am talking 
about as a person. There are times when your name seems more like a prayer 
to me. I believe that you complete me." He dared a look up then.

Scully was looking right through the window into his soul. She was touched 
by what she saw. She knew that soft, intimate words didn't come easily to 
him. She knew how afraid he was about daring to love anyone. She could see 
how important she was to him and how his words were truth.

She set her glass down and moved closer to him. He was still staring at his 
glass when she took it out of his fingers and placed it with hers. He was 
propped up on one elbow against her oversized cushions, his dress shirt 
rolled up at the sleeves. She was now mirroring his position. They looked 
deep into one another's eyes.

Then Scully sat up. For a minute Mudler was afraid that she was moving away, 
but she stopped, unfastened her robe and let it fall from her shoulders. She 
watched his face as she unbuttoned her pyjama top. His eyes were a haziness 
of desire as she shrugged it off. She lifted her hips to shed the last piece 
of clothing from her beautiful body. In the glow of the fire, he could see 
the perfect texture of her skin. When he could finally drag his eyes off her 
body and up to her face, what he saw there surprised him. This was Scully 
undressed in every sense of the word. He was mesmerized.

She reached down to his neck and unfastened his tie. She worked the buttons 
on his shirt until she could run her hand inside. Their eyes never waivered 
from one another as her fingers traced across his chest to one of his tight 
nipples. She never ceased to amaze him. She undressed him slowly, piece by 
piece. He believed that it was the most erotic seduction in the history of 
mankind. There was no escaping the enormity of his desire as he lay there 
next to her. When he would have reciprocated her touch, she gently pushed 
him back onto the cushion.

When she finally set her lips to his body, he could have melted with the 
sheer anticipation of it all. She played light feather kisses across his 
chest. When she reached one of his nipples and deepened the intimacy he 
gasped at the shivers it sent down to the core of his being. She teased at 
it for a moment, then trailed her tongue down the line of hair on his belly. 
  She took him into her mouth in one long movement. The electric feeling was 
incredible. Her mouth was a searing heat that sent ripples of pleasure 
throughout his body. She sucked gently, moving her mouth up and down his 
length. Her tongue teased at the head with every thrust. Each movement of 
her tongue against his stiff shaft elicited a soft moan from him. He could 
feel the point of sanity moving past quickly. It took every ounce of 
strength he could muster to stop her.

"Not like that," he breathed. He had grabbed her shoulders and was in 
control again. He wanted their lovemaking to go on. He pushed her onto her 
back, blanketing her with his body. His hands found her breasts. He 
carefully kneeded them as his thumbs played across her firm nipples, 
savoring the moment. He lowered his mouth to one, sucking and nipping gently 
at the tip. As he sucked and played with one pink nipple, his fingers found 
the core of her womanhood. He stroked her clit before moving his hand down 
towards her opening. She was wet with desire. She gasped as he insisted one 
finger, then two inside her. She moved her hips against his hand. His thumb 
stroked her clit with the same motion that drove his fingers inside her. 
Mulder couldn't help but watch her face as he brought her closer to orgasm. 
Her brow was slightly furrowed with intensity.  She was biting down on her 
bottom lip in concentration. He could see in her face the exact moment she 
came just as much as he could feel it with his fingers. She exhaled out a 
shocked "oh my god" as the waves of pleasure subsided.

He moved up a little so that they were face to face. She looked at him, her 
rapturous face was beautiful. He lowered his lips to hers. He bit gently on 
her bottom lip before passion consumed him and his tongue moved to search 
her mouth. The deep kiss was passionate and soul-searching. He couldn't wait 
anymore, animal instinct took over and he buried his throbbing member deep 
inside her. She moaned as he began to move in the tight, slick space that 
she was. They moved urgently towards their goal. Their breathing matched 
their rhythm.

Her fingers raked his back as she reached her summit. Being prepared and 
knowing her better now, he was able to go over the edge with her, both of 
them lost in a series of passionate gasps and groans of sheer pleasure. They 
both appreciated the rarity of their timing and enjoyed the sensations as 
the waves subsided.

Their bodies were soaked from a mixture of their passion and the heat of the 
fireplace. They stayed in their embrace, their breathing gradually returned 
to normal. When Scully looked up at him, he kissed her with a definition 
that she didn't miss. She watched as he moved to her side. The fire was 
casting a bright glow on his misted face. He had one of his arms draped over 
his forehead, a gesture of exhaustion. He was a beautiful man. She could 
easily drown in his eyes. His lips were oh-so-kissable. She thought about 
how he'd told her that he loved her. She reached over and pulled one of the 
cushions under their heads. He lowered his arm and opened his eyes.

"I love you too," the words came out of Scully's mouth.

========================================

Mulder was running along a dark passageway. He could hear her calling him. 
Her voice was loud but somehow small and terrified. Her words were the same 
ones he'd heard on his answering machine so long ago.

"Mulder, I need your help!"

He had heard those words in as many nights as she'd been gone before. Now he 
could hear those word over and over again as he ran. There was no light in 
the tunnel as he ran. Behind him, something was closing in on him in the 
darkness. Ahead of him, he could hear her. He just couldn't make his body 
move fast enough. Desperation filled her voice.

"Mulder!!"

"Scullllllay!"

Her voice was fading, he couldn't keep up with it. Suddenly the ground 
disappeared from beneath him and he was falling fast.

He awoke with a start. A small sound escaped his mouth.

"Mulder?" came her sleepy voice. She seemed to understand what had happened 
before he could figure it out. "Mulder, it was a dream. Are you okay?"

He was in her bed and she was next to him. It took a moment for him to get 
hold of his breathing. The feeling of sheer terror was slow to fade though. 
He looked over in the darkness at her clock. It was  3:04 a.m. He pushed a 
sigh out of his mouth.

"Yeah, go back to sleep."

"Are you going to be able to? Want to talk about it?"

"No, it's nothing. Let's get some sleep."

He knew that he wouldn't though. He knew that his dreams always seemed to 
presage events that he had no control over. He sorely wanted to go running. 
His lack of proper attire and feelings about how Scully would perceive it 
stopped him. So, he did the only other thing that could have chased away his 
demons. He reached for her.

In a way that only men seem to understand, making love to a woman somehow 
made everything alright in the world. He appreciated that she seemed to 
understand this. They made love easily. Scully drifted back off to sleep 
nestled in his arms. It was the only way he could have gotten any more rest 
himself.

By 3:40 a.m. he was fully asleep again.

==============================

The group were moved to yet another location. This time it was to a complex 
where they could get rewired into the system. It was above ground at Fort 
McNair. Not a whole lot had been salvaged from the compound, but they had 
been given cart blanche on the project which was a necessity, as time was 
running out. They were backed up by a group of people and technology that 
could've put the space program to shame. The time for fixing their problem 
had begun and they were all chomping at the bit.

The sample container that Mulder had picked up at the ship was sitting empty 
on the table in the middle of their new meeting room. Everyone in their 
small group was present, along with four very decorated military officers. 
They seemed out of place in the unlikely pack. Mulder noticed that Stick 
seemed to have made a full recovery, he was back to his usual fidgeting 
self. Case even managed a smile, which couldn't have been easy for him. They 
were all focused and alert. Adam began.

"The sample Mulder retrieved from the ship has been analyzed, it would 
appear that our alien friends have found a way to keep the virus effective 
and functional in water. We can't confirm that it won't transmit by 
ingestion. This presents a unique problem. They could easily transmit it all 
through any water supply and there would be little we could do about it. 
General McGrath, what options are available?"

The General gladly jumped in, all military. "Well, I would suggest direct 
and simultaneous assaults on the ships. At this point, it doesn't seem very 
likely that we can find the information gathered on their propulsion 
system." Indeed the Syndicate had covered its tracks on that one. "That 
would make nuclear missile strikes unadvisable. There would just be too many 
environmental variables. How certain are we that these six ships are the 
only ones on the planet?" He addressed this to Adam.

"We know that they emit a low-frequency transmission that acts as a blanket 
of cover for them, effectively blocking out radio signals. We can find the 
blankets easily enough. However, they're indistinguishable from certain 
geographical areas that occur naturally on earth. Years of work went into 
following up on the possibilities. Our own data is not inconsistent with the 
Syndicate's in that regard, although we did find one that they didn't. Once 
we found them, they were easy enough to keep track of. Your men have 
confirmed that they are still right where we left them."

Case piped in. "Then taking them out should be easy. I mean, it's an in and 
out job."

"Except that direct airborn assault might not work. And if you got a team of 
men inside, once they know about it there's nothing stopping them from 
taking their ships and moving, men and all and forcing our hand into an 
all-out war if you can't neutralize them in time. Planting an explosive 
device could cause some serious unintended consequences, we don't know what 
technology we are blowing up."

"What choice do we have General?"

General Stafford interceded. "I believe that we need to contain this as much 
as possible. I would agree that strikes need to be made and chances taken. 
We can minimize the risk by vaccinating before the strikes." He turned to 
look at Scully. "Is everything in the works for the vaccine? What's our time 
table looking like?"

Scully cleared her throat. "The intelligence we have tells us that the alien 
race is going to move in thirteen days. The vaccine has been in constant 
mass production for months apparently. I've been told that everything is 
proceeding and that distribution across the country and internationally is 
commencing as we talk. I would advise at this point though to vaccinate 
parts of the armed forces immediately."

"We can do that all in good time. We can't take the risk of alien 
intelligence knowing what we are doing. The vaccinations must happen 
simultaneously, all within two days or so."

Scully was puzzled by this.

"I can understand the need for secrecy, but you don't know how people are 
going to respond to the vaccine. Most people have some reaction or another 
to vaccination. I wouldn't advise you to do it to all of your military 
personel at the same time if it can be helped sir."

"I will take that under advisement." Stafford brushed her off. Scully sat 
stunned by his words. She wasn't going to let that go. "Now, if..."

"General, this is not something you want to negotiate. I am telling you that 
vaccinating your entire armed forces simultaneously is a huge mistake. You 
would be taking an unnecessary risk. We don't know enough about what we are 
dealing with."

Mulder was proud of her. She was strong and stood up to anyone fearlessly. 
He didn't want her standing alone though and she was right.

"I agree with her. Staggering the innoculations would be advisable under the 
circumstances. It doesn't make any sense to do it any other way," Mulder 
piped in.

"Might I remind you that your group is here in an advisory capacity only and 
that this falls under military jurisdiction?" Stafford challenged. Mulder's 
lack of faith in the military renewed itself.

The compound crew all muttered things to one another and to themselves. Adam 
couldn't stay quiet, the ghosts of his friends seemed to scream at the 
injustice.

"Might *I* remind you that you have come into a project that we have been 
working on since long before you had any rank to pull!? *Most* of us are 
second generation project associates. *Most* of us have lost family to the 
alien force already, not to mention to our own military's involvement. These 
people have risked their reputations and given up their lives for this! I 
think some respect is in order here!"

"Ok, that's enough. Everyone needs to settle down a bit here," General 
McGrath inserted. "We can't afford to be divided here. We all have our jets 
facing the same direction. How about this: I propose that we give Agent 
Scully a squadron of men to vaccinate and she can assess the results and 
we'll go from there on this. Is that do-able Agent?" Scully nodded, somewhat 
resigned.

"Fine, then let's get to that then. The rest of us can hammer out an assault 
that would annihilate the alien threat." Scully got up to work on her task.

General Stafford followed her out into the hall. "I am sorry that we didn't 
agree. Here's the number for a Colonel Mills." He handed her a card. "He's 
got a squadron of seventy men that would be good candidates. I will arrange 
to have the vaccine be there when you arrive and give you the details. I'll 
go call him now." He turned and walked off in the direction of the new 
offices, apparently to make some calls.

Scully just stood there holding the card, somehow feeling like they were 
being dealed out of the game. This didn't make any sense to her. At least 
not strategically. She hated the way military personnel pushed their weight 
around. Within two minutes, Stafford returned.

"I have arranged a driver out front to take you to Fort Richie. The 
vaccination will be there tomorrow. You should head straight there and set 
yourself up." He turned and walked off.

Scully had clearly been dismissed. She didn't like the feeling of that. If 
she'd been raised in any normal home, she might have followed his directions 
to the letter. But she had long since known that military men put their 
pants on one leg at a time. They didn't intimidate her.

Maybe it was being a base brat, maybe it was all the years with Mulder, but 
she wasn't going to work by his time table.

Mulder appeared in front of her.

"How are you going to handle this?"

She was glad that he had come out. She wouldn't admit it to herself, but she 
needed the emotional support. The way he'd phrased it was indicative of his 
confidence in her. She appreciated that under the circumstances. She wasn't 
exactly sure that General Stafford was wrong, just inflated with power. It 
had become a race to see who was going to be given credit for saving the 
world. No one in that room except the military officers cared much about 
that, they just wanted it saved.

"I am going to do what you've taught me all these years. I am going to do 
things my own way. Starting with the vaccine. I am going to the distribution 
center at C.E.A. pharmaceuticals and getting my own vials and driving to the 
base myself."

"I do believe that I have been a bad influence on you Agent Scully," Mulder 
mocked in his best backwoods southern accent. They shared a smile.  He grew 
more serious. "It's not just me then? General Stafford's jet's really 
pointing the other way?" She just smiled at his remark. "He's reinforced the 
theory for me that bureaucrats are promoted to their level of incompetance."

"I don't trust anyone Mulder."

His eyes melted warmth. He reached out and tucked an errant strand of hair 
behind her ear.

"Not even me?"

She wouldn't even have to answer, it was entirely apparent in her eyes. She 
looked hard at him and felt her next words from the bottom of her heart.

"Only you."

He wanted to take her in his arms and relay with a kiss the gymnastics his 
heart was doing. More than anything though, he needed to respect her public 
distance. Respect was ground zero for building their feelings on. He 
playfully adjusted her lapel that didn't really need the attention.

"Don't forget your cell phone, I might need some hand holding through this," 
he teased, motioning back towards the meeting room. She smiled knowingly.

Then she turned and headed off on her own route to Fort Richie.

=================================

The supply of the vaccine sat on the seat next to her. She had no trouble 
getting it from the C.E.A. distribution site in D.C. They'd seemed very well 
organized. The syringes and vials were coupled at the source. It did make 
some sense that the vaccines would be given within a few days of each other. 
If the alien race discovered their intentions, they would bump up their 
plans and have the world filtering water on into perpetuity. And they simply 
didn't know that all of the Syndicate had been rounded up for sure.

When she arrived at the base later that evening, she was waved through the 
gate almost automatically. Colonel Mills was something of a surprise. He was 
a direct contrast to General Stafford. He was warm and personable. His 
cooperation was not only going to make the entire process easier, but 
pleasant as well. He reminded Scully of her father.

The base itself seemed like little more than an outpost. The squadron and a 
few jet fighters were all there was to it. It was a training base and not an 
operations post. She could see why Stafford had picked it. It was fairly 
isolated and there were no families living there. These were some of the 
best of the best fighter pilots on land exercises between manuevers. The 
timing couldn't have been more perfect.

She was treated to some first class chivalry. The men hadn't had leave in 
three weeks, she was told. She was enjoying herself listening to their 
stories and good-natured flirting over dinner. They would begin first thing 
in the morning when the rest of the squad returned to the base from a field 
exercise.

Just as she was settling in for the night, the familiar shrill of her cell 
phone insinuated itself into her thoughts.

"Scully."

"Scully, it's me...are you riding the testosterone wave ok?"

She smiled. "I'll suffer through it. How are things going down there?"

"Well...Stafford is a royal pain in the ass. They're going to do what they 
are going to do regardless of how Adam or I or anyone for that matter feels 
about it. They are closing in on a strategy though. Could work."

They both knew that they couldn't take the chance of being overheard, so 
they didn't get into details.

"That's good to know. How's Adam holding up? Is he being smothered by all 
the brass in the room?"

"He's holding up with the best of them...I didn't know you cared."

She gave a small chuckle. "He seems nice. Very focused on the project."

"Yeah, yeah he is....so what time are you going to come home tomorrow?"

"I'm going to head out just as soon as I can. The Colonel is arranging for 
all of the base personnel to be vaccinated first thing in the morning. 
Ninety three in all."

"Well, you must be in heaven then. Ninety three muscular arms to feel."

Scully smiled.

"Good night Mulder."

"Will you be coming to McNair when you get in?"

"Only if you've managed to turn around Stafford's jet."

"Consider it done. Good night Scully."

She clicked off her phone. It was a rare occasion when they actually 
included a parting phrase before they hung up. She smiled to herself as she 
reached up and turned off the light.

=======================================

The morning went well. The vaccinations took less than an hour start to 
finish. The magnitude of the project hit her again. Vaccinating every human 
being would be one of the biggest man-made projects in the history of the 
world. She hoped that C.E.A and its affiliates could do the job it promised. 
The world was riding on it.

Back at McNair, she was just in time to join the crew for an early supper. 
Her stomach had been treating her well for the most part today, so she felt 
safe to eat. From the conversation she caught that Adam was feeling a little 
out of the loop. She felt badly for him. It had to feel bad that his work 
was being taken over by people who hadn't put in the hours. She'd felt that 
way when Diana Fowley and Jeffrey Spender had taken over their X-files.

"Adam, from what you know about the virus, does the vaccine work for 
extended periods of time? Should I be re-vaccinating myself?"

"Well...to tell you the truth, we've never tested it. Our research was not 
medical. We usually contracted anything like that out."

"Or stole it," added Case.

"Or stole it," conceded Adam.

"And you've all been vaccinated? When was that done?"

"Oh...I would say about a year ago, just after the vaccine became available. 
Mulder was done just prior to our hit to the ship."

"Would you mind if I took a blood sample from you?" she asked. She wanted to 
compare hers with theirs and examine it against Mulder's for effectiveness.

"Oh Scully you just haven't lost the social grace of dinnertime 
conversation," Mulder added almost under his breath. She ignored him.

"I'd like to do that right after dinner." Adam nodded his assent.

It was strange for him to be sitting in the same room with Scully. Their 
conversation was easy, and that didn't happen at all to him. Adam had all 
but lost his socialization skills during his adult life. Maybe it was 
because of all they did share that they could talk so easily. He knew that 
Mulder wasn't as appreciative of their relationship though. That only 
slightly amused him.

Here he was looking at the woman who had cradled his dying father's head as 
he spoke his last words to her. He found that he liked her very much. They 
liked one another, it couldn't get much more basic than that. He knew that 
it wouldn't ever be anything more than friendship now, but that was okay by 
him. He liked being with her. Her friendship meant alot. And here they were 
in a small office preparing to draw blood. Mulder was still out with Case.

Adam watched as Scully set up the syringe kit. He rolled up his sleeve for 
her to tie off his arm.

"You know Dana..." he began slowly, "I have never really had the chance to 
apologize for what we put you through."

"That's probably not a subject we want to get to when you're sitting with 
your vein exposed and I am holding something sharp."

He smiled. "I trust you."

She looked up to see that he did, the realization took her a little aback. 
She knew that Mulder and Adam shared a good connection. She liked that. 
Mulder really didn't have many friends. Not many people understood him and 
Adam seemed to. She just offered a small smile in return.

When she was done, she labeled the vial. Adam placed his hand on her arm.

"I mean it though. I really am sorry about what you had to go through."

She looked at him. He thoroughly meant it. She was touched by the simplicity 
of his words. The tangle of emotions she'd been feeling since that night 
forever ago just seemed to surface. She blinked back the extra water in her 
eyes.

"Sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I was aware of the game these 
men were playing. It wasn't fair and we were all just scrambling to finish." 
It was her way of saying "I forgive you" without actually having to say it. 
They shared a meaningful look. Mulder picked that moment to come in.

"My turn?" Scully turned too quickly and fiddled mindlessly with her kit. 
Adam got up and left the room without making eye contact.

"Did I interrupt something?" She ignored the question and prepared his arm 
for the sample. Okay...tread lightly here be monsters, his mind flashed.

"It's good to see your appetite back." She didn't miss the double entendre 
of that one.

"Must have been all those muscular arms on the base," she commented. "I'm 
going to drive to Quantico and do these tests tonight."

"What are you hoping to prove with the tests? Why not just vaccinate our 
small group again. It couldn't hurt could it?"

"I'm nervous about using something I don't know enough about carelessly. The 
vaccine may only be a dead form of the virus but I wish that I knew more 
about this one. I'm going to run over and do these up tonight."

==================================

There was a vein of thought that Mulder and Adam had been too preoccupied 
since their shipwalk to think about. Karl Drake/Martin Klass. It didn't 
appear that there was much to it all, but they were feeling pretty useless 
in the military rank, so it seemed like a good place to go. McDougall hadn't 
worked on it and seemed perturbed that they were choosing to follow it up 
now. But there was little else for them to do but play the waiting game. 
Everything was left to the powers that be to innoculate everyone and crush 
the villains.

They opted to take their investigation back to the gunmen. As they pulled up 
outside, Adam got the notion that he would have more trouble getting inside 
this time than he had the last time. Mulder reassured him that he'd called 
and let them in on his little life detour.

"Well...as I live and breathe, Lazarus is back boys!" chimed Frohike.

"Just call me Saint," came the snide reply.

They entered the familiar bachelor pad cum tech warehouse. Frohike addressed 
Adam.

"How'd you do it?" Adam shared a smile at Langly's question but offered 
nothing. "I am impressed, we didn't figure it out, and we were looking! I 
told them not to believe it!"

They all exchanged some warm pleasantries. The boys were glad to have their 
playmate back. They included Adam in a way he'd been excluded in his last 
visit. He supposed it had to do with the fact that he'd shown them some 
pretty good moves. In short, they were impressed by what he'd managed at the 
compound.

"Where's Scully?" Of course, this came from Frohike.

Just as Mulder was opening his mouth to answer, his cell phone chimed in as 
if on cue.

"Mulder."

"I ran a titre test on our blood. The antibody counts were almost identical 
between your sample and ours. There's no need to revaccinate. I'm just 
calling to let you know that I am heading back up to Ritchie base. The 
number Stafford gave me isn't getting an answer and I would like to check on 
them myself."

"Scully I thought you called last night and everything was fine."

"Yeah, I know. But I just want to make sure." He thought it was a collosal 
waste of time, but here he was chasing threads and in no position to 
criticize her actions.

"Okay, stay in touch then." He snapped off the phone and smiled at his 
friends.

"Boys, care to get into trouble?" he challenged.

They all smiled, more than eager.

They pulled everything up on the two names and worked the puzzle. The 
mystery was there, but there didn't seem to be a whole lot to it. Neither 
were their hearts in the quest though. This was strictly a "make work" 
project. The connection was vague at best. Drake worked for the good guys 
now, but, as Klass, had worked for the bad guys. Neither connection was 
anything substantial at this point. His only significance seemed to the 
inference that someone had been trying to infiltrate their organization. It 
all seemed kind of moot at this point. The person just seemed more like the 
spirit of the dead rather than any kind of threat. The main Syndicate 
players were taken care of. It could become a larger matter after the fact, 
but for now it seemed full of air.

That was okay. The three musketeer wannabes pulled out some beer and they 
all sat around having a drink, all but forgetting about their little 
project. They laughed easily at the most recent Langly story of hacking into 
the pentagon's mainframe.

Adam marveled at how they were still in operation. He could see why Mulder 
hung out here at times. These boy/men were reminiscent of his click at the 
compound. The stories flowed.

"And then Byers got the idea that a good cover story would be that we were 
military, of course they didn't buy it!" They all roared at the joke.

"My favorite conspiracy theory of yours Langly is that JFK was a suicide," 
Mulder added. They laughed easily again. They were all in great moods, even 
laughing at themselves.

"Looking for a needle in the C.E.A. Pharmaceutical stack hasn't done much 
for your reputation in my eyes either my good man," Langly returned. They 
all laughed again.

All, that is, except Mulder.

"Wh...why did you say that?" All but the very vaguest of smiles gone from 
his face.

"Well...you know, C.E.A., the Pharmaceutical group."

"We weren't looking at C.E.A. as a connection. In fact, I didn't mention 
C.E.A. at all. Where did you get that?" He was suddenly serious as a heart 
attack, his mind working on something. The group sobered quickly. Adam 
wondered what was going through his head.

Langly searched his mind. "Pinck Pharmaceutical's mother company.... C.E.A."

Mulder looked at Adam, realization dawning on his face. "C.E.A. is the 
company supplying and distributing the vaccine. Pinck is strictly Syndicate 
cover."

They stared at one another, not hardly daring to blink. The shrill sound of 
the phone interrupted the moment.

"Mulder."

"Mulder, I'm at the base. It's odd. There's no one at the gate. The place 
seems deserted."

"Scully, where are you?"

"Just inside the main building. Do you know what else is odd? I found the 
vaccine that Stafford sent up sitting here on the counter. Mulder, it's not 
the same one that I picked up at the distribution center."

"How do you know?"

"The color is different. The one I picked up myself was more an amber. This 
one is almost clear. There's no accounting for that. What does this all mean 
Mulder?"

Sometimes Mulder hated it when he figured out things.

"Scully, get out of there....now!"

On the other end of the phone, he could hear her breathing change.

"Scully?"

"Mulder..." her breathing was deep and forced, for a moment she said nothing 
at all, then, "I think I just became a believer."

"Scully, what's happening?"

"Mulder, I'm in trouble."

The phone snapped off.

"Scully! Damn it!" He turned to face Adam.

"The vaccine isn't a vaccine...it's the virus! C.E.A. is distributing the 
virus! Scully's in trouble. I have to get out there."

Adam snatched the phone out of his hand as they ran to the car. He worked 
quickly, calling McDougall first.

"We have to stop those shipments!"

"We have to help Scully."

=======================================

When she'd been on the phone to Mulder, she'd walked into the bunk room of 
the main building looking for life. Unfortunately, she'd found it. Amid a 
chaos of translucent bodies and disemboweled pilots, movement in corners 
could be seen. From the shadows peered large pools of shiny black eyes. As 
she stood on the threshold, she saw the animal movement immediately. She 
stood there afraid to move. Afraid to not move. That was when she dropped 
the phone and reached for her gun. Her fear mounted with the realization 
that she didn't have extra clips, most importantly not ninety three rounds. 
She held her gun up high and defensively.

She slowly backed out, amid a skittering of activity. Panic struck her as 
her back hit the hallway wall opposite the bunker door. Down her path of 
exit, she caught a glimpse of something moving across the hallway. She was 
trapped.

====================================

Adam had called to alert every resource available. He sent a military strike 
force and environmental containment unit out to Ritchie even as he and 
Mulder were still racing towards McNeil.

Mulder's mind was working against him then. All it could do is stamp out 
possible synarios. None of them looked promising. He tried her number again 
once Adam had mobilized help. Even as they boarded a helicopter and headed 
for the base, his mind worked her terror.

The helicopter held assault supplies and they found themselves once again 
suiting up for war.  They had faced the threat before. They weren't about to 
go in there without some heavy armor on, military backup or not. Adam 
watched Mulder's face as they flew towards their goal. He knew what Mulder 
was thinking, that the helicopter wasn't going fast enough. He also knew 
that Mulder wouldn't survive the loss of her. He said a quick prayer that 
Scully was safe.

Mulder scarcely breathed as his numb mind flew over the image of the alien 
that had tried to attack them outside the ship in Virginia. By the time they 
landed, he could see the strike team had moved onto the base. From the air, 
it had seemed like half of the U.S. land forces had converged there and were 
fanning out to cover the base. Mulder was glad, they were going to need 
everyone they could get. When the chopper landed, they approached what 
looked like the team leader.

Adam didn't bother with pleasantries.

"You're looking for alien creatures. They are strong and vicious. They may 
have killed everyone on the base. We don't want any of them getting away. 
There are at least ninety three of them. You have to account for each and 
every one. You're going to need to get in touch with the CDC and get 
containment equipment when they get out here. You'll need level 3 or better 
anti contamination suits to deal with any alien bodies. No one should get 
near the bodies. "

Adam didn't really care what he was sounding like to the man. They needed 
the job done and quickly. The sergeant nodded. He was probably assuming this 
was just another drill. Aliens just didn't come up that often in general 
conversation. That was okay, as long as he did what needed to be done.

Almost forty five minutes had passed since Mulder's phone call with Scully.

"There may be a survivor. Tell your men to look for a survivor."

Mulder ran towards the hangar nearby. Adam followed. They jumped into a car 
sitting there. There weren't many buildings on the base. Finding her car 
wasn't hard to do. They could hear bursts of gunfire before they got out. 
Mulder took the safety off his rifle and checked his handgun quickly and 
mindlessly. His mind was on the building and what he would find in there. 
The soldiers on the outside were in a standard holding position as backup to 
whoever had gone inside. One of them stopped them as they approached the 
door.

"Sir, you can't go in there yet. The building isn't secure."

Adam and Mulder looked at one another and moved forward in unison. Mulder 
could hear the soldier cursing into his mike as they moved in heedless of 
his warning. The interior was dark. It took a minute for their eyes to 
adjust. They entered into a hallway dotted with doors. As Mulder worked his 
way slowly up the hall, he could hear the chaos going on ahead of him. The 
soldiers were losing it. Their short controlled bursts had become long drawn 
out firing sequences. They were panicking. Who could blame them? Mulder was 
pretty panicked himself.

Just inside one of the first rooms was the body of one of the mutant aliens. 
Its black liquid eyes sightless now. Black blood oozed from several holes in 
its body. Mulder hoped that everyone had the message to stay clear of the 
fluid.

That wouldn't be a problem for the guy on the floor in the next room though. 
  On the ground just inside the doorway, lay the body of some unknown 
would-be hero. Blood was still running from the wound to his neck. To be 
fair, you would have to say that it ran from both his shoulders and his 
head, as the latter was hardly attached anymore. Apparently the score was 
running about even.

Mulder heard an alarmed scream. The firing stopped up ahead. That couldn't 
be good when coupled with the silence that followed. He moved further down 
the corridor. Adam moved up quickly behind him, both were watching one 
another's backs.

The absolute carnage of the bunker room was incredible. The remains of human 
carcasses and alien beasts littered the room. Their blood was mixing on the 
floor. Mulder couldn't see one square foot of the room that wasn't touched 
by the chaos. Bullet holes dotted the walls. Despite the chaos, he didn't 
need to count them to know that there weren't as many alien bodies as human. 
Where were they all? He didn't stop for long. There was no way she could be 
in there and still be alive. He pushed on down the hall with Adam close on 
his heels. He felt some comfort at knowing that someone was watching his 
back, but he could really only focus on finding her.

As the corridor turned, they could hear the reinforcements entering from 
behind them. When Adam glanced down, he stopped in his tracks.  He picked up 
a handgun from the ground, not military issue, it was more like FBI standard 
arm. It was Scully's gun. He took a quick look at it. The clip was full. 
They shared a knowing look. He handed it to Mulder. In some strange way that 
made sense only to the moment, the full clip was a good thing.

The path they were taking was smeared and spotted with blood. Chalk up two 
more for the aliens. They stepped over the bodies, or rather what was left 
of them.

The short dark hall entered into a hangar. The wide hangar doors on the 
other side gaped open. This had to be the path that most of the aliens took 
to get out. Scully could have gotten out from there. Mulder's hopes were 
dashed as he took a quick check to the side. Lying beneath a tangle of 
collapsed boxes, he could make out a shock of red hair. He threw back the 
layers of cardboard that were covering her.

There was a lot of blood. Mulder looked at her neck, remembering the soldier 
from the second room they'd been in. His eyes conducted a cursory 
examination to find no tears to her clothing. She was lying in a pool of 
blood, unconscious yet he couldn't see where the blood was coming from.

"Scully..." No answer.

He felt her neck for a pulse. It was there and felt strong to him. She was 
alive. It was only then that he remembered exactly where they were. He 
looked up and around, looking for any signs of movement. At first glance, 
the hanger appeared devoid of aliens. Soldier corpses lay strewn across the 
floor in the most grotesque way imaginable. He looked up at Adam who held a 
look of terror on his face. Following his line of sight, Mulder saw what 
looked to be several clusters of aliens high up on the walkway that 
contoured the hangar about fifteen feet above them. Adam held his rifle at 
the ready.

There was no way that they could outshoot them should the aliens decide to 
pounce.

"I am not going to shoot." Adam's voice surprised Mulder.

"I don't think it will work if we ask them nicely to stay back."

"As long as they don't see us as a threat, they won't attack. Winwood told 
me once that they could smell the vaccine on our bodies and as long as we 
didn't threaten them, they wouldn't attack."

Mulder thought about this for a moment.

"That didn't seem to make a difference to the alien near the ship."

"Maybe it was protecting the ship. I dunno. I believe Winwood though."

Mulder didn't. He knew that they were grossly outnumbered. Their only chance 
would be to go out the way they'd come. Every movement on the walkway sent a 
sea of fear that chilled his entire body. Adam lowered his rifle.

Outside the hangar doors, in the daylight, they could see military movement. 
In the distance, they could hear the comforting short controlled bursts of 
gunfire. Behind them, they could hear the soldiers moving up the hall. Adam 
had been right, the aliens seemed to make some kind of a fear connection 
with the soldiers that had them surrounded now. Perhaps they did sense the 
difference in the danger level. As the soldiers poured into the hanger, the 
shadows came alive as they attacked.

"We have to get out of here now," Mulder implored. Despite his earlier 
words, Adam had joined the military in shooting at the threat.

Mulder shouldered his rifle and moved to pick up Scully. He still didn't see 
any wound until he moved her head. Blood dripped from it as he picked her 
up. Mulder grimaced at the mess of blood and the small puddle left in the 
cardboard that her head had sat in. Even minor head wounds were known for 
the large volume of blood loss, Mulder comforted himself with this 
knowledge. She didn't make a sound, not did she react at all when he moved 
her. He positioned her across his shoulder and turned to Adam.

"Adam, let's go!" When Adam continued to fire, Mulder grabbed his arm and 
moved him towards the corridor.

If anyone has ever carried a limp body in their arms, they know that it's 
less difficult to carry someone who's resisting than someone unconscious. 
Heroes in movies aside, there was nothing easy about the process. Once again 
Scully was lying over his shoulder, moving away from an alien threat. It was 
obvious to him that the blood was coming from the back of her head, but 
there was little he could do about it until he got her out of harm's way. He 
was as worried about the possibility of being shot by panic fire as he was 
about the aliens.

When they reached the helicopter, Mulder was relieved to find the pilot 
still inside. He carefully placed Scully inside on one of the benches.

"Come on!"he shouted to Adam over the noise of the blades. Adam shook his 
head, indicating that he was staying to fight. Mulder was having none of it 
though. He grabbed Adam, much to both of their surprise, and pushed him onto 
the floor of the helicopter.

"You can't help them now."

He signalled to the pilot to lift off. From the air Mulder could better see 
the chaos of the ground below. He watched as men in gear milled about, 
firing at their targets. He could see that they were well organized and 
seemed to have the area contained. He felt a wave of relief. He turned his 
attention to Scully.

Adam picked himself up off the floor and landed on a bench. He wasn't angry 
at Mulder. Instead he seemed to realize something about the man in front of 
him.

=========================================

Scully's head hurt like hell. That was her first thought, if you could call 
it that. She was having trouble focusing her mind in any clear way, let 
alone opening her eyes. She could hear voices through a distance. One of the 
voices was Mulder's. She knew when she heard it, that she was protected. 
When she tried to open her eyes, she found herself floating back down the 
spiral to unconsciousness.

When her mind pricked through to a level of consciousness again, she didn't 
try to open her eyes or try to move. Instead, she just allowed herself to 
gradually become aware of her surroundings. She was lying on a soft surface. 
A bed probably. Her arms were at her sides. A dull ache throbbed mercilessly 
at her temples. Sounds. She could hear something in the room. A rustle of 
fabric? Mulder was in the room. She couldn't open her heavy eyelids. That 
was too much for her. Instead, the effort brought a soft moan from her 
throat.

He was at her side in an instant.

"Scully?"

She couldn't move, couldn't open her eyes. Her mind was focusing better now 
though. She worked on the part of her body that was cooperating. She 
swallowed. Where the hell was she? What kind of case were they working on 
that had landed them here again?

"Scully, lie still. You have a concussion. Doctor says you're going to be 
fine. You just have to rest."

She could feel his fingers pick up her heavy hand and rub it softly with his 
thumb. She took his words under advisement, but she wanted to at least open 
her eyes. Her mind was pulling itself sluggishly towards the surface of 
consciousness. The base, she'd been at the base. The men....the virus...she 
was running.

"Mmm...aw..." She was trying for "Mulder" but it wasn't happening. He 
answered her questions for her. He knew what she'd want to know.

"We got it all Scully. Stafford was in on it. The Syndicate had planned to 
do things exactly the way they were happening. The virus would be 
distributed to all but select groups of people who would be vaccinated 
against it. They thought that once it was all over, they could retake the 
world from the aliens using their own technology against them. Just your 
basic average 'take over the world' plot. Only it didn't work." He was 
gently stroking the side of her face now. "You in there?"

The sensation drew the nerve endings there into behaving. She tried again 
for her eyelids and this time she was able to drag them open. The room was 
dark. She could see his face silouetted against a lighter wall. She tried to 
lick her lips. Mulder searched her face for signs of life. Her lids couldn't 
stay open long, the effort was tremendous. He smiled. He thought for a 
moment, then took off his leather jacket and laid it across her chest. She 
could smell the rich smell of leather. If she could have managed it, she 
would have smiled. It brought her a comfort that nothing else could have.

"Do you want some water?"

By the time he brought the straw to her lips, she had drifted back down the 
black hole of thought. Nothing, not even gravity got out of there.

The next time she reached for the surface, it was to light streaming in the 
room. It was daytime again. She easily opened her eyes. She was more aware 
of her body too and experimented on herself by moving her hand a bit. She 
looked around the room. It was empty. She felt of flutter of panic before 
the door opened.

In walked Mulder smiling at the sight of her eyes open.

"Mulder, you look like I feel." Her mouth moved the words out hoarsely.

He ran a hand across his unshaven chin. He only did it for her benefit 
though, he could have cared less under the circumstances.

He was dressed in the grey tee-shirt and jeans that she loved so much on 
him. He looked down on her tenderly.

"How're you feeling?"

"I think that it's safe to say that I won't be answering jeopardy questions 
anytime soon."

"Want me to get the doctor?"

"No, I'm okay."

He smiled. "I'm almost afraid to ask you if you want water."

She managed a weak smile. He put the straw to her lips. The water trickled 
into her mouth. It tasted like heaven and revived her even more.

"I don't really know why I am still alive though. The last thing I remember 
was walking into a hangar that seemed to be teaming with every nightmare 
I've ever had....but....it was strange...." Her mind was lost in memory. 
"It's like they were scared of me too....I don't know. And then..." Her mind 
flashed a scene of something coming at her fast. She had the impression of 
flying through the air, and then nothing.

"S'alright." He touched her cheek lovingly. Her eyes were drawn to his. She 
smiled softly up at him.

She looked around the room. It was filled with enough flowers to start a 
Growers Direct outlet.

"You have floral representation from pretty much every level of government," 
he answered the question in her eyes.

"This all must be incredibly vindicating for you Mulder."

"I wonder what your basis of comparison is." His eyes held a cold look to 
them. "They're covering this all up Scully. Officially, they're claiming the 
base incident was terrorism tied to the Carroll County compound. Ninety 
three men and then twenty three strategy soldiers died there."

"They can't do that, too many people know the truth Mulder."

"Has that ever stopped them before? I mean, look at it all Scully... it 
doesn't do them a whole lot of good to admit their mistakes. That's just 
political suicide. What's the use in doing the job we're doing when we look 
down only to see that we're spinning our tires?!"

"You sound resigned about it all Mulder. What happened to fighting the 
future?"

His eyes told her that he'd all but given up the fight.

"This just isn't my battle anymore."

"What's Adam doing?"

Mulder sat down and drew his chair closer to the bed.

"What he's good at. He's working with the powers that be, helping to clean 
things up. They've offered him a position at the Bureau. He's thinking about 
taking it."

"What kind of position?"

"Domestic Terrorism. There's an irony in that somewhere that I'm just too 
tired to point out. I think that they just want to keep an eye on him, make 
sure he doesn't squeak. He won't sit idlely by and let them drag his team 
through the mud though. He'll knock 'em off their feet. Someone has to."

"It doesn't sound like your enthusiam to return to work is quite there yet."

"Maybe I'm not really sure that I want to go back."

She looked at him, trying to figure out where all of this was coming from.

"I mean, think about it Scully. How many times have we been in this exact 
position? Hmm? It's always the same. Sometimes I am on the bed, sometimes 
it's you. I think we've about stressed our medical insurance to the max. I 
think they're hoping the next claim they see is from a morgue for an 
autopsy."

She didn't smile. She could see that there was something more serious going 
on inside her partner. It was something familiar though.

"I could have lost you for good....again. I'm just not sure that it's worth 
the risk anymore."

"Mulder, you can't draw my lines for me. And you know, your work with the 
X-files isn't so much about what you do. It's about who you are. I don't 
think that you can distinguish the two. I think that that is true for both 
of us.  Maybe it's beyond any kind of choice."

"Maybe I just want a normal life now. Come on Scully, you're always telling 
me that I am missing out on something. Maybe it's time to start looking for 
it."

She smiled, knowing that they had turn 180 degrees around in their positions 
in that regard.

"But that's not you Mulder. And I am not sure it's me either."

He considered this.

"Maybe not. There has to be a way to move closer to the middle though." He 
raked tense fingers through his hair. "Maybe I am just frustrated. In all 
the time we've spent, in all the work we've done, in all the places we've 
been....what have we really found??"

She squeezed his hand.

"Each other."

Maybe that was enough.

=====================================================

Journal entry for Dana Scully:

Tonight's festivities went surprisingly well. It's been one year since the 
Ritchie Base incident. One year since Mulder came back to me. And just over 
one year since Mulder and I became lovers. Truthfully, I wasn't sure that I 
would enjoy the amount of people invading my home that were in attendance. 
It seems odd, as I reflect on the last year, that we've come this far as a 
group. I am still astonished when I think about how different my life is now 
than it was at this time last year. We've all found a sanctuary in one 
another's company.

I used to love the comfortable quiet of my home. Now, it just seems empty 
unless someone from our group makes an appearance every other day or so. I 
have resigned myself to the fact that Mulder is exacting his lifestyle in my 
space. I guess I gave up that particular position when I came home one night 
to find him arranging his aquarium where my Jade Brooker collection had once 
sat. I was somewhat surprised at the liberty that he seemed to be taking 
until I realized that it just made perfect sense. We never discussed it. We 
never did come to any arrangement regarding living quarters. It just 
happened that way. One night I was sleeping alone, the next night he was 
there. I guess that I don't want to stop to analyze it all now either. It 
just feels right. There is nothing more complicated about it.

He never goes to his apartment much anymore. He won't give it up, nor would 
I want him to. There are still times when he needs to be there as much as I 
need him to go. He needs to touch that time in his life for some reason. I 
guess that that is part of his nature. I went over there one afternoon 
looking for him when he wasn't answering his phone. I found him staring at 
the photo album he keeps in his desk. He won't bring it home, he just seems 
to need to look at it for some reason. I suspect that he wants desperately 
to live in this moment, but needs to remember the pain of his life before. 
Things are so much different for him now, for both of us.

He hasn't rid himself of the nightmares yet, although they have been less 
frequent than before. He frightens me with the intensity with which he 
clings to me at those times. I truly believe, in those instants, that I am 
the only one that is holding him to his sanity and that without me, he would 
cower screaming in a corner. Of course that wouldn't happen. But still, that 
is the first thought that crosses my mind when he reaches for me in the 
night.

As I looked around the room tonight, my whole life seemed so totally clear 
and complete. There sat everyone left from the compound, the lone gunmen and 
a few of the stray fellow travellers we've managed to pick up along the way 
this last year. The conversation was wonderfully easy. There was no one in 
the room who would have hesitated to die for any of the others. This seems 
somehow like the dues for this motley club. It's a necessary ingredient for 
acceptance here. You must be a believer *and* you must be willing to 
sacrifice everything for this belief.

The gunmen have roped the compound crew (except Adam and Nickols) into 
starting a whole new publication. They all seem so intent on getting out 
their version of the truth to people. They are still convinced that the 
ships were not destroyed, despite McDougall's insistance that they were on 
the day after the base landing. I always smile inside when they talk 
conspiracy. It's an unlikely combination. Everyone but the gunmen are now 
government employees. Somehow they magnetize towards one another though, 
each taking solace in the other group's views, united in their common goal. 
There is a comfort in knowing that someone is willing to take social risks 
that I am not.

I was overjoyed that Case and Holly seem to be more of a couple than I had 
expected. I knew that they had been spending quite a bit of time together, 
but I suppose that I never really entertained the thought of them being an 
item even when I introduced them. It's refreshing to see their level of 
comfort in one another's company. It makes me hopeful for the future.

Mulder was extremely apt at the art of socialization tonight. He seemed 
quite happy all around actually. It quite possibly has more to do with our 
current situation than anything, I suspect. Although he spent the night 
mainly talking to Adam. It's apparently not enough that they see so much of 
one another at work. I guess that I am protesting perhaps a little too much. 
In truth I don't mind at all. I still get pieces of them both to myself. 
Adam finds little excuses to touch base at Quantico with me. Mulder....well, 
he's never been at a loss for excuses to cross my path. And of course, I 
come home to him every night.

I still miss being his partner, but I am enjoying my new position at. I also 
know that this is where I need to be right now. I wouldn't want anyone else 
as a partner to Mulder than Adam. It's comforting to know that the person 
backing him is someone who actually believes in him. They both find ways of 
keeping me in the loop and I can live with that. I am hardly going to start 
donning aprons and spending my days baking yet. I still need the challenge 
that work brings. For now.

We still haven't told anyone, although it will be inevitable soon. I think 
that Mulder wonders about my need for secrecy. I am sure that he thinks that 
I am in some sort of denial stage.  I just want it to be our little world 
for the time being. Maybe a part of me still can't believe it and trust our 
fortune. Even when I drew up the courage to tell him, I had known about it 
for almost two weeks. When I told him, his knees buckled and he sat down 
hard on my coffee table. I got the distinct impression that had it not been 
there, he would have sat down hard on the floor. I guess fatherhood isn't 
without it's moments. No one ever tells you though that some of the best of 
those moments happen before the baby's even born.

I think often of those few moments in a certain taxi on the way to a certain 
hospital. 'We heal with our hands' he said. I guess that in accepting this 
baby, I have to accept what Winwood did for me. Through his alien healing 
hands, he has offered us the one thing that had eluded us both for so 
long....normalcy.


THE END


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SPECIAL THANKS!! I really couldn't have finished this without the help of 
someone special....Jadzia. Thank you for your encouragement in this. It's 
much appreciated.