Title: All in the Family Author: Opehila Rating: PG I guess Spoilers: I AM NOT CC, I OWN NUTHIN'! Category: Well, it's SUPPOSED to be funny! Notes: Okay, I'm still kinda new at fanfic and stuff and this is my fisrt attempt and anything vaguely humorous. I don't even know if its funny! So tell me what ay think and if you like it, I just might write more... XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXxx "Shut up!" "You shut up!" "They're gonna hear you!" "So stop talking!" You're the one whose talkin'!" "Oh, yeah?" "Yeah!" "You're talkin' now!" "So are you!" "Both of you! Shut up! Do you wanna hear this or not?" "Yeah, okay, we'll be good." "Good." "Just tell Ali that you should stay on her side." "Yeah, well tell Sarah to stay on _her_ side!" "Guys!" Silence. "Thanks for coming over so late Mulder." "Yeah, it's usually me whose asking _you_ to come over." "I know, but this case is really freaky." "Nice choice of words. Are you regressing, Agent Scully?" Silence. Slight sound of repressed giggles. "Very funny, Mulder." "I know." "I was hoping you could go over the case history with me here, Mulder, you probably know more about it than..." "I don't wanna." "What?" "I don't wanna go over the case now, Scully. I wanna go to bed." "If you weren't going to help me, then why did you bother to come over in the first place?" "Because maybe, you, you know..." "No, I don't. Explain what you mean, Mulder." "I don't know, maybe there was something else or whatever, you know..." Silence. "Well, sorry Mulder, there's nothing else." "Oh." Silence. "I guess I should go then." "Wait!" "Yeah?" "I feel guilty for dragging you out of bed, you want anything to drink or eat or whatever?" "Um... can I have a soda please?" "Sure!" Shuffling of footsteps. Sound of someone sitting down and making themselves comfortable. "Here you go." "Thanks Scully." Silence. "So.." "So..." "So, anything new?" "What do you think, Mulder?" "Nothing, I guess." "Right." Silence. "Fine, I give in. What's bothering you about this case?" "Oh, nothing." "No, come on. What is it?" "Nothing, really." "Sculleee ..." "Mulderrrr..." Giggling. "Scully?" "Yeah?" "You hear that?" "I think so." Stifled giggling. "Is someone giggling?" Louder giggling. "I think so." "Is it coming from your closet?" "I think so." Sound of footsteps approaching. Sound of whispering voices, rustling. Footsteps become closer. Door thrown open. "What the hell?!" "Help! Our covers been busted!" "What the hell are you doing in my closet?!" "Get us out of here! Please, hel-" Silence. "Shit!" Langely said, pulling off his head phones. "They've found the girls!" Scully's apartment 1:16 AM "Okay, who the hell are you and what the hell were you doing in my closet?!" Scully bellowed, glaring down (well, actually up, they were all a few inches taller than her) at the three girls she had just pulled out of her closet. They giggled. Mulder giggled (actually, it was a hiccup but close enough). Scully glared. "Okay, we'll tell you everything!" the tallest one cried, throwing herself down on her knees. "I'll tell you everything I knew, all about the UFOs and the government conspiracies, all about the aliens and the Syndicate or the Elders or whatever the hell they're called, just stop glaring at me like that!" she sobbed, kneeling down at Scully's feet. The other two girls giggled. Mulder giggled (this time, a real giggle). Scully glared down at her. The girl straightened up, brushed off her denim jeans, fixed her shoulder- length blonde hair and placed her hands on her hips. "I aint telling you squat," she said, glaring right back at Scully. Scully glared. The girl glared. Mulder giggled. The other two girls giggled at Mulder's giggle. "Fine, I can't take it anymore!" Mulder said, throwing his arms up in mock surrender. "Who are you people? I have a feeling you're not with the government." "And what makes you so sure?" one of the other girls asked, this one with brownish-red hair. "Well, you look like you're all 13," Mulder replied. "Hey! I'm 14, thank you very much!" the last girl said, who was short but still managed to be taller than Scully. "Whatever! You're still young! There's no way you work for the government!" Scully said. "Maybe we don't work for the government, but we know lots about 'em," the tall one said. "Yeah, and we would LOVE to be your informants or something," the short one said, looking right at Mulder and batting her obviously fake eyelashes. "Uh.. that's okay," Mulder said, backing away. "C'mon! We know tons of stuff! Just ask us!" the medium height one said. "Look, we're not auditioning for an informant or anything. We just don't need the help," Scully replied, briskly, reaching for the door. "Try us!" the tall one said. "Ask us anything!" "Okay," Mulder said. "What's the deal with the Cancer Man?" The short one smiled and took a deep breath. "Okay," she said. "He's really Spender's father, and you're father too, but you obviously don't have the same mother but Cassandra Spender is your mother Teena's long lost sister, who joined the circus when she was a teen as 'Cassie-the Amazing Fire Swallowing, Club Juggling, Horse and Elephant Riding, Teenage Acrobat' and she meet Cancer Man at a therapy session for people who have trouble making long lasting relationships without feeling the urge to kill the person or run away from them which means that Spender is really your half-brother which explain why you're always bickering..." Scully interrupted her. "Out," she said, pulling open the door for the girls to exit. Suddenly, the two lone gunmen, Langely and Byers rushed in, flushed and out of breath and were followed by an even more out of breath Frohike. "Are you guys okay?" Langely asked. "Yeah, we're fine.. wait, them?" Mulder asked, incredulous. "You know these girls?" Scully asked, equally incredulous. "Yeah, of course," Frohike replied, moving towards the short (well, not that short) girl. "We're the ones who sent them into your closet." "WHAT?!" "Wait, who are they then?" Mulder asked, as incredulous as ever. "They are our nieces," Byers said dramatically, placing a hand on the tall girl's shoulder. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX So, whadda ya all think? Was it funny? Was it cheesy? Do ya want more? C'mon, like my little sis says: "Feed the birdie, feed the birdie!" Okay, she's REALLY young, and it makes no sense, but just imagine that i'm the birdie (a red robin please) and your feedback is the essential food I need to live and thrive! C'mon, you don't want me to shiver up and die, do you? Hey, stop nodding, that's mean! Just reply now! Please?