From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: 20 May 2002 06:42:29 -0000 Subject: Almost by Cherie710 Source: direct Reply To: cher710@eudoramail.com Title: Almost Author: Cherie710 E-Mail: (cher710@eudoramail.com) Rating: G or PG? Archive: Anywhere! Just tell me. Spoilers: The Truth, especially the end scene. Category: MSR, light angst, quasi-songfic Summary: Lying here with you..I Could Not Ask For More Disclaimer: M&S are not mine, same thing goes for all the other characters of The X-Files. Don't sue. Plus, the song "I Could Not Ask For More" was sung by Edwin McCain. Feedback: Good Feedback only please. Authors note: This is my third attempt at fanfic, so please bear with me. I haven't really watched the entire episode since I'm from another country. But seeing the video clips, I really loved the end scene. I added something though. Just a small alteration for the much loved end scene. I love the "bed scene". It's almost perfect. Almost. -------------------------------------------------------- -=- Lying here with you....smiling just to see the smile upon your face -=- I stare into her droopy eyes as we lay in bed. My hand protectively wrapped around her. As I feel the warmth of her silk robe, I feel safe and secured. She is very tired and sleepy, I know, for I too feel the same. But she does not close her eyes. I remember one night almost the same as this. Me, telling the story of my life. She, just lying in bed listening to me with all her heart. Nine years, comrades. Nine long years later and we end up here, together. Together, that's now my favorite word in the English dictionary. -=- These are the moments I thank God that I'm Alive, These are the moments I'll remember all my life -=- She brings her head closer to mine, and I rub her back gently. She runs her finger on my forearm. She breathes sweet "missed you" and "love you so much" to my face, then closes her eyes. I lean in closer if it's even possible due to the already closing proximity. I kiss her. She responds. We share a chaste kiss. If I had the power to trap this moment and seal it in an unbreakable glass container and store it in the heavens for "future reference", I will. But I know this is just a passing moment. It'll end. Maybe later. Maybe sooner. Someone once told us to take a picture for it'll last longer. If things were just that simple. But I only hope this is not the only moment I shall wish to preserve. -=- I found all I've waited for, and I could not ask for more -=- The chaste kiss is over, but it seems that our souls are still connected from that. We both open our eyes slowly. She smiles. She nuzzles my cheek with her nose and moves closer still. One more move, I think, and we'll be permanently connected. Not that I'm complaining. -=- I could not ask for more than this time together, I could not ask for more than this time with you. -=- She once again whispers a heartfelt vow. Her eyes are closed now. She thinks mine are too. But they are slightly opened, as though faintly ajar windows looking out at the most perfect view mankind has ever beheld. I have memorized her face. Every line, every curve. Every freckle, every bit of her. I silently wonder what I have done to deserve this time with her. With all the things I did wrong, with everything I messed up, surely, there must have been a single instance which proved I had a right to be loved and to love with every fabric of my humanity. She must have sensed that I was "slightly" watching her. She opened her eyes, her big blue questioning eyes. "Is there something wrong, Mulder?" "Nothing," I reply. She closes her eyes for a bit, looking a bit sad. I lift my free hand and begin to trace the outline of her face. Her forehead, to her chin. I cleared my throat, then spoke.. -=- Every prayer has been answered, every dream has come true -=- "Just this moment, Dana," She looks up. Staring at my soul. It seems as though she is painfully awaiting the next lines I will utter, achingly dreading a "but" somewhere. "Lying here with you. Not worrying whether someone from the bureau will find out and split us apart. Holding you in my arms. Listening to your breathing, staring into your eyes. Stripping me off of every doubt that I am alone and unloved. This moment, this moment is..almost perfect." Her downcast eyes quickly looked up to mine. She slowly disentangled herself from me. Worried, I sat up. I barely noticed her movements and I was surprised to find her sitting on the bed with her back already turned against me. "Dana? What is it? Did I say anything wrong?" "No, Mulder. You said everything right?" With the tone of her voice, I felt the fear and the loneliness. We both knew what was wrong. Even when I said those words, I perfectly knew what I had in mind. But I said those words because they were the truth. "Dana," I began. But she raised a shaking hand and said, "Almost Perfect, Mulder. Almost. There's nothing I want more than to have William lying here between us. To hear him gurgle and make all those baby sounds that sounded as though he were calling your name. To have him with us." She's crying now. I move closer, but she suddenly lies down in bed again. She was staring at the ceiling, as though she can see our son there. I lay back down again, but my head was resting on my palm, propped up on an elbow. I look at her. I did not mean to bring this pain upon her. I was brewing yet another safe apology when she took my hand and rested it on her belly. "I had no choice, Mulder. He deserves better than what I can give him, better than what *we* can give him. He's the most precious gift and it breaks my heart to even think that he'll live a life of worry, a life on the run. I wanted him to have a normal life, Mulder. He deserves it. He needs to be happy, and if it costs me my personal bliss, then so be it." I was stroking her stomach gently. I nodded in agreement. I wanted so much to have William with us. But I understand, I do really. Having him with us is pure bliss, but the thought of dragging him on this fight against the future, the thought of having him suffer because of the nature of life Dana and I have gotten ourselves into, the thought just sickens me. I'd rather have him enjoy every bit of normalcy with loving foster parents, than have him tag along in such a dangerous race. "I don't blame you, Dana. I never did. I was hurt, very hurt, but I never got mad at you. I never blamed you. Not one bit." She looks at me this time. I take away my hand from her belly and stroke her face. With tears in her eyes, she says, "Thank you." "Thank you back." I smile. She smiles. -=- Right here in this moment is where I'm meant to be, Here with you, Here with me -=- WE were back to our "snuggling" position. This time it was I who nuzzled her cheek with my nose. She smiles again. A smile that is sincerely heartfelt. A smile which tells me she is happy. I was surprised to hear her say, "I want him back, Mulder. No matter what, no matter when, no matter where. I *need* him back." I kiss her again. "Someday, Dana. Someday soon. I promise you. We'll find a way to bring him back. We'll bring him back. We will." A promise both of us will neither break. A promise that will everyday be remembered. With the even breaths I heard, I knew my Dana had fallen asleep in the safety of my arms. Everything really is almost perfect. And there's nothing wrong with that. This moment, I wish we had William with us. Of course I do. We both will be wishing our son is with us till the day he finally is. But aside from that, and right here in this moment, I Could Not Ask for More. End.