From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 22 Aug 2005 15:58:41 -0000
Subject: Alphabet Soup: C is for Conversation by YappiChick
Source: direct

Reply To: yappichick@yahoo.com


Title: Alphabet Soup: C is for Conversation
email: YappiChick@yahoo.com
Summary: What if Scully did leave to become a doctor?
Feedback: Come on, you know you wanna...
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Fight the Future, Christmas Carol, Emily
Category: MSR, Angst
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be...

Author's Note: This is 3rd in a series. You should start at "A"
and work forward! :) And as always, thanks to Kiki! Love you, 
girl!

C is for Conversation

Scully straightened the cross on her necklace for the second time
in a minute.  She always became fidgety when she was on edge.  
After her failed attempt to reach out and help Mulder understand 
what and why she was changing the course of her life the afternoon 
before, she almost called off her plans for today.

Lunch with her mother.

She felt guilty that she dreaded this.  Her mother and she were 
never particularly close when she was growing up, in part due to 
the close relationship she had with her father.  It was only after 
his passing that she starting seeking her mom for support.

After her battle with cancer and the decision to ultimately use 
Mulder's "miracle" chip, the relationship had become strained.  
Unresolved issues led to uncomfortable silences.  She was lucky if 
they spoke on the phone once a month.  The last time she had seen 
her was at Bill's house during Christmas.  Scully knew from the 
defeated sighs over the phone after Emily's funeral, her mom thought 
she had snapped because of the pressure of her job.

Despite the breakdown of communication, Scully had told her about 
the X-Files office being burnt down and her reassignment to the 
domestic terrorism unit.  Her mom seemed pleased at that 
announcement until she heard Mulder was still her partner.

Maggie didn't know, however, anything that happened at Dallas or any 
of the events following the terrible bombing.  That, Scully decided, 
was better left said face to face.

The knock on her door pulled her out of her reverie.  She opened the 
door and saw her mom's sad face and an apple pie in her hand.

"I brought this over for dessert.  I know you used to love this."  
She gave her a watery smile.  "But then I realized I don't know what 
you like anymore."

"Oh Mom," Scully whispered, as she hugged her mom fiercely.  Maybe 
they were both on the same page of trying to bring the peace back 
between them.

As she pulled away her mom touched her cheeks.  "Dana, what 
happened to you?"

"I'm fine, Mom," she assured her.  "That's part of the reason why we 
need to talk.  Let me take this pie to the kitchen and bring out 
lunch.  Then I'll tell you what's been going on."

They sat at her dining room table and she began to tell the watered 
down version of what had happened.  She managed to avoid red flag 
words such as "aliens," "conspiracy," or any other words that Mulder
would have used.  As far as her mom knew she was infected with an 
unknown virus that could be used possibly as a bio terror weapon.  

As for the Antarctica part, she lamely explained that the research 
facilities were down there to avoid any kind of outbreak in the US.

"And it made me think that if I could survive that then so could 
many more people.  I thought about it and I decided that my ability 
to do that wouldn't be very effective as an agent.  So yesterday, I 
submitted my resignation to the Bureau."

Her mom frowned.  It wasn't the reaction she had been expecting.  
"What about Fox?  Did he just let you quit after all that you have 
sacrificed for him?  Working as your partner in a different 
department wasn't as interesting?"

The anger.  She had wondered when it would show up during this 
conversation.  Apparently the past few months had allowed Bill to
use his influence to convince her mom Mulder was to blame for 
everything negative in her life.

"Mom, this was a decision I made.  Me.  Mulder respected my 
decision to leave and that's what I want you to do.  But," she 
warned, "just because Mulder and I don't work together doesn't mean 
that I'm going to leave him.  Because I'm not.  We have both 
invested so much into our cause, whether you understand it or not."

Her mom looked resigned.  "Dana, I know that Fox is your friend and 
you may feel a sense of commitment to him.  But, don't you think 
now that you are going to go into practice as a doctor that you 
should let him go too?  You know, cut all your ties from the FBI?"  
Her mom's eyes pleaded with her.

"No, Mom, I don't."  She snapped.  She paused before speaking 
again.  The point of this meeting was to rebuild bridges, not 
burn them.

"Mom," she started again, "Mulder's not going anywhere.  He will 
always be my best friend.  I know you think he has put me in danger, 
but he has saved me time and again.  He isn't the one puts me in 
danger.  That's the cost of living, Mom.  Nothing is safe."

She drew a breath.  "I'm going to go back to being a doctor.  I'm 
going to figure out what I was infected with and how to cure it.  
That's my goal and that's all I can give you."

Maggie looked unconvinced.  "I don't know, Dana.  This whole thing 
seems so unlike you.  I mean, quitting your job just because you got 
sick?  It doesn't make sense.  But, honestly Dana, nothing you do 
anymore makes sense."  

She grabbed her daughter's hand.  "Are you sure that you are...ok 
to be making such decisions?  I know there were times that I was 
sure your dad would snap because of the constant pressure he was 
under."

Scully's eyes widened in shock.  Her own mom thought she was crazy.  
She pushed down her feelings of hurt and betrayal and said calmly, 
"My mental health is fine, Mom.  And I guess you won't have to 
worry about the pressures of my job anymore affecting my ability
to make rational decisions."

Her mother's face brightened.  "That's true.  I hadn't had time to 
think about that.  Stress can cause you to do and say things you 
normally wouldn't do."

Scully closed her eyes and counted to five.  Stress doesn't create 
children that were born to die, give terminal cancer to countless 
women or send people to the ends of the earth so they could die a 
horrifying death, she thought.

Maggie took her silence as agreement.  She smiled as she stood up.  
"Let me get us some pie and I'll tell you what has been going on 
with your brothers."

When she left the room, Scully looked at her watch.  1:18.  It 
was going to be a long afternoon.