From: ssebas1275@aol.com
Date: 2 Oct 2003 17:53:20 -0700
Subject: [atxc-pi] REVISED: Alvin's Revenge (05/12)
Source: atxc

Part 5
See part 0 for header information.


"Heard us?" Doggett-Munk exclaimed. "We haven't even gotten started
yet. Besides, we thought that was you and Scully." 

Mulder pulled the sweatshirt over his head, taking great care to
ruffle his hair in the most becoming way possible. "Well, I don't mind
telling you that Scully and I definitely explored the truth of all
things in there, but that wasn't us. Guess it must have been Skinner."

"Must have been," Doggett-Munk agreed. "Who would have thought that
he'd be one  to cut loose like that." 

"Anyway, thanks for the clothes," Mulder said, slapping Doggett-Munk
on the back. "I'll get out of here and leave you and Monica to get
down to it." 

"Thanks, buddy," Doggett-Munk gave Mulder a pat on the ass with his
paw as he followed the agent to the door, closing it behind him. He
heard the bathroom door open and then heard a Monica call softly, "Oh
Jo-hh-nnn!" 

Doggett-Munk turned to see Monica standing beside the bed, completely
naked, smiling and beckoning to him. "Uh ...Monica ..." 

Monica gestured to him, "Come on now, John," she purred. "Come to
Monnie." 

Doggett-Munk advanced to where she stood and Monica slipped her arms
around his  furry waist. "Uh ...Monica .." he whispered, finding it
difficult to speak as she began to nuzzle his furry chest and neck.
"Mulder is just fine ... the ... uh ... this worked." 

"That's wonderful, John," Monica purred. "Now it's our turn." 

With a swift gesture, Monica pushed Doggett-Munk to the bed. He landed
on his back and then she was on top of him. "Monica ... wait a minute
..." 

"Uh uh ...no more waiting," Monica murmured and once again that wild
and feral gleam was in her eyes. As before, she began to run her hands
up his neck, over his chubby, chipmunky cheeks and onto his ears. Her
initial caress was feathery  light, tender, eliciting a sigh from
Doggett-Munk. Then gradually, her manipulations became fiercer, her
fingers grasping and pulling. "Oh ....Monica!" Doggett-Munk breathed,
his eyes half-closing and his breathing became labored. "Ohhh ... what
are you doing to me?" 

"You like that?" she asked with an evil little grin. 

"Ooohhhh God yes!" Doggett-Munk groaned. 

Monica bent down so that her mouth was even with his left ear, her
girlish breasts pressed tightly against his own warm, furry chest.
"Then you're going to looo-vvv-e this," she breathed. She extended her
tongue and ran it along the  length of his left ear, causing
Doggett-Munk to writhe in ecstasy. Then she took the entire ear into
her mouth ... teasing, sucking and biting as she continued to
manipulate his right ear with her hand. 

"That's it ... oohhh yeah Monica ... faster ... harder ...fast and
hard ... yeahhhhh ..." Doggett-Munk groaned in sheer animal pleasure.

Monica's hand and mouth continued to work, every stroke and caress
eliciting further groans and even the occasional bleat from her animal
lover. Then she stopped abruptly, and raised herself up to a sitting
position, still straddling  him. Doggett-Munk gasped in agonized
frustration and his eyes shot open. "Why'd  ya stop?" he grunted. 

Monica smiled evilly and her eyes gleamed with passion. "Because it's
time I take this little journey a little further south," she purred.
"And now, John ..." 

Monica's mouth opened, revealing her large white teeth ... she ran her
red tongue over her lips to moisten them and she began to slide
downward towards her main objective. Doggett-Munk stretched and closed
his eyes, flinging his arms out to the side as she made contact. His
hand hit the bedside alarm radio and instantly the room was filled
with the sounds of Donna Summer groaning "Love to Love You Baby," a
perfect accompaniment to the action taking place in the middle of the
bed. 

PART 39

Meanwhile, back in the living room ...

"You know, it really is a bit indecent for us to be watching them like
this," Byers commented as the group in the living room continued to
watch the action taking place in the hot tub. "They do deserve their
privacy." 

"Hey, if they wanted privacy they should have gotten a hotel room,"
Diana Fowley replied. "And I don't see you moving away from the
window." 

"Interesting technique from Mrs. Scully," CSM observed as he watched
Brad and Maggie's latest gyrations. "Hmmm ... I had no idea that she
was so ... athletic." 

"Maybe you should have called her up once or twice during the past
nine years instead of paying for young girls," Fowley told him. "From
what I can see it looks like she might have been able to teach you a
few things." 

"My dear Diana, it is entirely possible that I could have taught Mrs.
Scully a few things," CSM replied, mentally making a note to look up
Maggie Scully's phone number in near future. "After all, Assistant
Director Follmer may have youth on his side but I have experience." 

"HA! Even I can see that she'd rather swing with pretty boy out there
than an old smokestack like you," Meepmork spat out at CSM. "I'm
surprised a cancer-ridden old f@rt like you can still get it up!" 

CSM bit down on his cigarette so hard that he broke it in two and the
lit end fell to the carpet. His fists clenched and he hissed, "Diana,
you, the chipmunk  and alien need to teach this little brat some
manners." 

"Don't you dare call my son a little brat," Mork shouted defensively
turning his attention from the window (Alvin, however, still chipmunk
nose pressed firmly against the glass, steaming it with his hot, heavy
breathing). 

"Besides, you're hardly an expert on child rearing," Fowley retorted.

"Hey, can you guys shut up?" Langly shouted. "It's ... it's
disrespectful. And I can't hear what Bad Brad and the red hot grandma
are saying to each other." 

Frohike turned from the window and sidled up to Diana Fowley, "Uh
...listen Diana ... Mulder tells me that you were pretty hot stuff
back in the days." 

Fowley preened a little, giving her hips a quick swivel and ensuring
that her ample bosum was seen to its best possible advantage, "My
darling Fox does not lie," she simpered. "I was the best damn lay he
ever had ... and a damn sight better than he deserved." 

"Well listen chicky, watching those two out there has got to be
turning you on as much as it's turning me on," Frohike soothed,
slipping an arm around her waist. "So whaddya say we go slip away and
do a little something about it?" 

Fowley shook free of Frohike and gave him a look of utter contempt,
"What do you take me for ... a Monica Reyes or a Dana Scully?" she
scowled. "I am Diana Fowley, Queen B!tch Goddess of the Cosmos ... and
besides, I'm a mother." 

"Hey, I was just askin," Frohike shrugged and returned to his place at
the window. Once he had safely moved away, CSM moved closer to Fowley
and whispered, "My dear, may I suggest that you would present a more
appropriate picture of maternity if you put some clothes back on?" 

PART 40

There was the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Skinner-Munk rose from
the sofa  where he had been sitting, munching on some stale saltines
he had found in the kitchen, and joined CSM, Fowley, Alvin and Mork to
see Mulder and Scully coming  down the stairs. Mulder was bounding
down in a state of total exuberance, grinning from ear to ear. Scully
followed a bit more slowly and far from being exuberant she had a
frown on her face that was practically a scowl. 

"Well, I see that the cure was a success," Alvin said smugly. 

"Yep, worked like a charm," Mulder replied, reaching behind him to
pull Scully close and putting his arm around her. "Dr. Scully here had
just the medicine that I needed, didn't' you Scully?" 

Scully said nothing but gave all gathered around a sarcastic smirk.
Skinner-Munk looked up at the clock, "Excuse me for saying this,
Mulder, but the two of you were only upstairs for a half-hour." 

"Yeah, who would have thought that we could get so much done in so
short a time," Mulder replied, grinning. "We actually got the chance
to make it twice." 

"Twice!" everybody exclaimed in surprise. 

"Twice," Scully repeated dully. "Plus we had time for Mulder to take a
shower and for me to put clean sheets on the bed." 

Fowley nodded knowingly, "Let me guess," she said. "Fox is still quick
on the trigger, right?" 

Scully's eyes met Fowley's and she saw a look of sympathy there. "You
know, military guys have a term for a quickie ... they call it 'slam,
bam, thank you ma'am ..." she began. 

"Believe me, honey, I've heard that term," Fowley replied. "I've known
my share  of military men ..." 

"Well with Mulder it was more 'Bam ... ma'am!" Scully scowled. 

"Now wait a minute ..." Mulder began, stung to the quick. "I thought
the whole idea was to cure me ... to make me a whole man." 

"Well the first time that was the idea," Scully answered him, her
voice shaking  with frustration. "But when you came back for seconds I
figured there might be something in it for me." 

Skinner-Munk moved over to CSM and whispered "Maybe you'd better have
a talk with your son here and explain that when it comes to sex the
winner is NOT the fastest man on the course." 

"Yes, I can see that a vital part of his education has been
neglected," CSM whispered back. "I would have thought with all of the
training films he's watched over the years ..." 

They were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. "I'll get it!"
Mulder said gratefully, bounding quickly to the door. He opened it to
find a group of very lovely women standing on the porch. 

"Excuse me, is this the Doggett residence," one of the women asked him
eagerly. 

"Uh ... yes ... it is!" Mulder replied. 

"Wonderful!" the absolutely gorgeous woman exclaimed and she turned to
her companions, "Girls! We're here!" 

The women quickly pushed forward and moved through the doorway and
foyer into the living room. Skinner-Munk grinned a wide, chipmunk grin
as soon as he saw them and waved to them, "Hello, girls! I see you
found the place," 

"Oh, it was no problem finding the house," the spokeswoman said
happily, "Kim's  directions were perfect. And she explained everything
to me over the phone ... I shared it with everyone that I could round
up and here we are ... ready to do  our part." 

"Uh, excuse me, sir?" Scully approached Skinner-Munk and touched him
on his wrist. "Who are these women?" 

"Who are we!" the spokeswoman exclaimed. "We're Walter's Wenches!" 

PART 41

Mulder, Alvin, Mork and CSM were staring in open-mouthed admiration at
the bevy  of beauties. There were ten of them gathered in the Doggett
living room, each one fair of face and with a perfect figure that
caused Scully and Diana Fowley to turn slightly pea-green with envy.
All of the women were dressed in the most  flattering of togas, each
in a color perfectly suited to her flawless skin and hair.
Skinner-Munk progressed through the group, embracing each one of the
lovely ladies with warm affection. Finally, Mulder found his tongue,
"Wait a minute ...you're telling me you have 10 girlfriends?" 

"Oh, we're not his girlfriends," the spokeswoman replied. "Walter's
Wenches are  a very select sisterhood who gather to serve and honor
this wonderful specimen of manhood. Unlike mere girlfriends we share a
very special bond with Walter and with each other." 

"Perfectly said, TeeJay," Skinner-Munk replied, giving the vocal vixen
another warm embrace that caused her to blush with delight. "And
actually, Mulder, this  isn't all of them." 

"Right you are," spoke up another Wench, this one a dark-haired beauty
with laughing eyes. "It's a shame, too. There were only a handful of
us in town today. If we had more notice we could have had three times
as many." 

"Well, you may think it's a shame but I call it our good luck,
Ta2Betty," piped  up another beauty in a sultry Southern-accented
voice. "It just means that we get more time with our Surly Pectoral
God." 

"Now, Miss Poochespup, don't go calling me that around here ... you'll
make me blush," Skinner-Munk drawled. "Anyway, since you didn't seem
shocked by my appearance I assume that Kim told you everything." 

"Indeed she did," TeeJay replied. "And every Wench here is ready to do
what it takes to effect the needed cure." 

"We sure are" "You can count on us," the Wenches chimed happily, each
one beaming with excitement. 

"Wonderful, I knew I could count on my Wenches," Skinner-Munk said
happily. 

"Okay, we probably need to get things started here. TeeJay, since
you're one of  my Head Wenches, would you like to join me first?" 

"There's nothing I'd like more, Sir," TeeJay replied. "But we
discussed this on  the way over and we felt that the honor of going
first should go to one of our newest Wenches. She was scheduled for
her appointment with you last month but sadly you had to cancel." 

"That's right," Skinner-Munk mused. "I did miss last month's session.
That dammed replicant had me tied up ..." 

"Exactly," TeeJay said. "And the poor girl was heartbroken so we
promised her that she could be the first Wench to enjoy your favors.
Wench Mary, will you please come forward." 

A strikingly lovely woman with long reddish hair stepped forward
almost shyly. Skinner-Munk gave her a warm, chipmunk grin. "Hello,
Mary. I'm sorry we missed out last month. I've been looking forward to
meeting you." 

Mary raised her expressive eyes to his and smiled warmly back at him,
"I've been looking forward to this too," she answered. "I've been
dreaming of my session with you for ...years!" 

TeeJay and Ta2Betty each stepped up to Mary and gave her a warm
embrace. Ta2Betty leaned over and whispered in her ear, "May the Piece
of Skinner be in you," to which Mary replied, "You betcha!" 

Skinner-Munk extended his paw to Mary who took it and followed him to
the staircase. Together, hand-in-paw, they proceeded up the stairs and
a few moments later all gathered below heard the bedroom door close. 

TeeJay turned to Ta2Betty and wiped away a stray tear, "It's always so
special when a new Wench has her first session with His Surliness,"
she murmured. 

"I know," Ta2Betty replied giving her a fierce hug. "We've seen so
many Wenches  pass through this sacred initiation." 

"Well, enough sentiment," TeeJay said brightly, giving Ta2Betty's hand
a squeeze and straightening her toga. "Now, didn't GoScully bring the
Skinneritas?" 

PART 42

Meanwhile, in the bedroom, Mary had taken it upon herself to turn down
the bedclothes and slowly slipped off her toga, revealing a perfectly
lovely body. She slid into the bed and looked up expectantly. 

Skinner-Munk got into the bed beside her and gently traced the outline
of her face with his paw. "Are you nervous, Mary?" he asked gently. 

"Maybe a little," Mary confessed. "It's not that I'm inexperienced you
know ...  it's just that I've dreamed so long about this." 

"I realize that this isn't exactly how you dreamed it would be,"
Skinner-Munk said seriously. "I'm not exactly in my best condition at
the moment." 

"Oh, Sir," Mary sighed. "I don't notice the chubby cheeks, the fluffy
tail, or all the body fur ... you're still you ... the Man that I've
lusted for!" 

"Ah, Mary, I only hope that I'm up to satisfying a woman like you,"
Skinner-Munk replied. "I know I'm going to try ... but I'm not sure
I'm man enough to live up to your expectations." 

Mary gave him a bright smile, "Well, I guess it's time for us to find
out," she  said as she got up to a sitting position. "Now, I
understand that the first step in this cure is a certain special
bite?" 

PART 43

Back at Hot Tub Central, Maggie and Brad having reached a climax of
tsunami proportions were lolling in the bubbles trading little kisses.
"Maggie, that was absolutely fantastic. I've never experienced
anything like it." 

"I'm so glad I could give you the experience. It was pretty damn good
for me as  well." Maggie reached for the "refreshments" and handed
Brad a Dixie cup. Together they slurped down another Jello shot. 

Meanwhile, next door Mavis and Bea were avidly studying their copy of
the Kama Sutra. "See Bea, I told you it was page 129." Mavis had a
somewhat unfocused look in her eyes, "I've wondered what it would look
like in practice." 

"Wow" Bea's voice was awestruck. 

"Wow indeed." 

Maggie and Brad were snuggling together enjoying the warm bubbling
waters.  "Brad, we need to think a bit about what's next." 

"uhhhhm" Brad was teasing Maggie's left breast with his tongue while
stroking lower down with a hand. 

"Brad, I'm serious. . .Oh yes, just a little to the left there." 

Reluctantly he stopped laving her breast and said, "Maggie, you've
probably figured out that I'm finished with the FBI. . ." 

"Yes Brad, I had figured that out." 

"I've got some money put away Maggie, we can go away some place. . ."

"Money isn't really an issue, Brad, as for going away some place, I
have a lovely villa in the South of France that I thought we could
make our base. . ." 

"South of France, sounds like a workable plan." 

"Good, now that's settled, didn't you tell me the other night that you
had a little surprise waiting. . ." Maggie batted her lashes and
licked her lips seductively. 

Brad chuckled low in his throat and leered back at her. "Ah yes, you
little vixen I do have a little surprise for you." He leaned in and
whispered into her  ear. Maggie's face lit up like a Christmas tree
and she almost squealed,  "Oh Brad, the Venus Butterfly!!!!!!" 

PART 44

Up in the spare bedroom, Mary stretched in the bed and looked over to
where Skinner was standing by the window. She had never felt so proud
or so fulfilled  as she looked at him standing there in all of his
glory. Gone were the chubby cheeks ... the furry tail. He stood tall
and strong, trim-waisted, deep-chested  and beautifully endowed, his
gorgeously bald pate catching the stray light coming through the
blinds. He turned to her and gave her a gentle smile, "Well
Mary, do you like what you see?" 

"Oh sir, I love it," she breathed. "You are ... absolutely
magnificent." 

"Well if I am, it's thanks to you," Skinner replied, moving back
towards the bed. "You are responsible for helping me transform from
mutant man-munk back to  a whole and complete man." 

"And you are all of that," Mary sighed. Slowly, she pushed herself up
to a sitting position. "I suppose it's time for me to go downstairs.
One of the other girls will want to take her turn." 

Skinner sat down on the bed and took Mary's hands in his. "I don't
want you to go yet, Mary," he said gently. "This is your initiation as
a Wench and I don't want your memory to be of starting your experience
with a large chipmunk." 

"But the other Wenches ..." Mary interrupted. 

"They won't mind at all," Skinner replied, raising one of her hands to
his lips. "The Wenches are a very generous group and they would want
you to enjoy the full experience of initiation into Wench-hood."
Skinner stood up and pulled  the covers back so he could slide back
into bed next to Mary. Taking her into his arms he pulled her close so
that she could feel his hot breath against her cheek. His lips gently
brushed against her cheek and then he was pressing his mouth on hers,
kissing her deeply. 

Mary couldn't help but respond, her arms wrapping around Skinner,
pulling him even closer, her mouth just as alive and aggressive as his
own. When they broke  for air, she gave him the most beautiful smile,
"Well, I won't deny that I HAVE  dreamed about my initiation into
Wench-hood for the longest time," she told him, her hands playing over
his chest, now smooth save for the normal layering of chest hair. "And
I can't deny that I never quite pictured that I would be
making it with a giant chipmunk." 

"I didn't think so," Skinner replied, his own hands busy under the
sheets, "And  since this IS your initiation I feel that it is my duty
that I make it a memorable one." 

"Who am I to argue with My Surly Pectoral God?" Mary asked as she
pulled him on  top of her in a sudden burst of passion. "After all, I
have lusted for you for a very, very long time." 

"Then ..." Skinner breathed as he kissed her face and neck
passionately. "I feel ... ummm you taste wonderful ... that it's time
... mmmm ... your patience  was rewarded."

PART 45

Meanwhile, the living room of the Doggett house had undergone a
sudden transformation. It had been completely cleaned up and
transformed into Party Central. All trace of the little chipmunks had
disappeared, courtesy of the Wenches' various Cabana Boys. The place
was spotlessly clean and the bar open and serving all kinds of liquid
refreshments. Ta2Betty was explaining the genesis of the Wench
movement to a very interested Scully and Fowley. "So let
me get this straight," Fowley commented, bouncing her little Meepmork
on her knee. "The primary qualification to become a Wench is to lust
for Skinner." 

"Absolutely," Ta2Betty replied. "And we don't mean a simple, 'he's
cute' ... we  mean head-over-heels total and complete, fills up your
dreams hot and heavy lust for the Man." 

"But even though you are devoted to Skinner you are able to associate
with other men?" Scully asked, indicating the Cabana Boys. 

"That's right," Ta2Betty answered. "After all, although His Surliness
is more than capable of satisfying all of us his time is limited and
he is very understanding of our needs. So every Wench is permitted her
Cabana Boys to get her through those times when she isn't receiving
his attentions." 

"Wow, someone should have told me about this years ago," Fowley said
shaking her head. "I mean, I always thought he was a fine figure of a
man and we did have one memorable encounter, but who knew that he was
such a stud." 

"My dear, I do assure you that when Walter lays down his glasses he is
QUITE a different man from that buttoned-down three-piece suit type,"
GoScully said as she joined the conversation. "That three-piece suit
hides the body of a God!" 

"Not to mention that he has the most incredible staying power!"
Ta2Betty sighed. "His strength ... his endurance ..." 

"You mean he doesn't have a problem with control?" Fowley asked. 

"Honey, there's a reason why we Wenches named our hangout the Rock
Hard Caf," Ta2Betty laughed. 

"He not only has complete control, he has incredible recuperative
powers," GoScully sighed as she remembered her last encounter with
Skinner. "And his technique ... ohhh ... he does know how to make a
woman feel like a woman." 

"I may ask him to have a little talk with Mulder," Scully muttered. 

TeeJay and Poochespup had drifted over to the window to join Langly
and Byers who were still watching the action taking place outside.
"Well, hello fellas," Poochespup greeted them. "What's so interesting
out there?" 

Langly and Byers turned their attention from the window for the first
time and upon seeing the two lovely Wenches within touching distance
their jaws dropped and their tongues hung out of their mouths. "Uh ...
huh ...." Langly stammered. 

"It's ... well ... outside ..." Byers swallowed hard as he tried to
speak. 

TeeJay and Poochespup exchanged knowing glances ... as Wenches they
were accustomed to getting this kind of reaction from men. "Take it
easy, boys." TeeJay said soothingly. "Don't get so excited." 

Meanwhile, Poochespup had glanced out the window and what she saw put
a big grin on her face. "TeeJay, you've got to see this. Take a look
at that couple out there." 

TeeJay looked outside and her grin matched Poochespup. "Guess we know
what the guys were looking at," she commented as she placed a sisterly
arm around Poochespup's shoulders. "Hmm ... that blond stud has quite
a technique about him. To say nothing of his build." 

"I know, I was just noticing that," Poochespup replied. "He really
would make a  nice addition to our stable of Cabana Boys." 

"Yes ... I can see where he would fit right in," TeeJay answered. "And
that woman with him is no slouch either. Look at that move of hers.
I'm sure His Surliness would be impressed with her." 

"Very true," Poochespup answered. "Of course, we don't know how she
would feel about him." 

"Well of course she would lust after him if she were given the
chance," TeeJay said matter-of-factly. "I mean, what woman wouldn't?"

"Well, I suppose we should give them their privacy," Poochespup said,
turning from the window and back to Byers and Langly, who had just
become aware of all of the lovely Wenches in the room. "Listen guys,
why don't you come with us and  join the party." 

"You ... you mean ... go over there ..." Langly stammered. 

"With them," Byers croaked, indicating the Wenches. "And with you?" 

There was no mistaking the excitement mingled with fear that appeared
in Langly's and Byers' eyes. TeeJay leaned over and whispered in
Poochespup's ear,  "We've got to help these guys out." 

"Agreed," Poochespup replied. She cozied up to Langly and slipped her
arm around his waist. "Come on, you blond babe, spend some time with
me. My name is  Poochespup ... what's yours?" 

"Uh ... Langly," he replied, his voice coming out a tight squeak. 

"Nice name," she laughed. "Come on into the party. I'll get you a
drink and you  can tell me all about yourself."  TeeJay linked her arm
through Byers' "Why don't we go over there and get better acquainted?"
she asked. "I'm TeeJay." 

"Um ... my name is John Fitzgerald Byers," Byers said in a very shaky
voice as he felt beads of perspiration appear on his head. TeeJay
could sense his nervousness and gave his arm a reassuring squeeze as
they joined the others in the main room. 

Meanwhile, CSM touched Mulder on his arm. "Agent Mulder, we need to
talk privately." 

Mulder shrugged and followed CSM over to the now vacated window. "What
do you want?" he asked irritably. 

"It has been brought to my attention that a certain vital part of
your education was neglected," CSM told him. "Hearing the accounts
from Agents Scully and Fowley of your past encounters with them, and
knowing your fondness for pornography, it seems that perhaps you need
some assistance with sex education." 

"You have got to be kidding!" Mulder snorted. "Listen, I don't need
any help in  that department, thank you. I'm doing just fine ... and
more than fine. My equipment is quite sizable and in fine working
order." 

"I am well aware that you are more than adequately equipped," CSM
replied.  "Remember that I did see you stripped on an operating table.
But just because you have the equipment doesn't mean you know how to
use it. And as your father,  I feel it is my duty to give you some
guidance." 

"Yeah right!" Mulder scowled sarcastically. "Listen you old black
lunged b@stard, I had that 'birds and bees' talk with my REAL dad when
I was 13. He taught me everything he knew about sex." 

"My dear Fox, if all you know about sex is what Bill Mulder taught you
then you  are in serious trouble," CSM said calmly as he lit a
cigarette. "Consider the case of your mother. A woman doesn't go
looking for fresh meat when she's got plenty at home." 

Mulder paused to consider this statement. CSM raised a valid point
there. And it was true that he had not had much luck with women. Oh,
he had his share of girlfriends in college ... but they always seemed
to disappear after the first bedroom encounter, even the ones who had
thrown themselves at him. And there was no denying that Fowley and
Scully had both been disappointed in his performance in bed. Mulder
shrugged, "Okay, Cancer Man, what have I got to lose?" 

CSM turned Mulder to the window. "I want you to see something, Fox.
Take a look  outside." 

Mulder took a look out the window and his wide-lipped mouth opened in
disbelief, "Holy s-it, that's Mrs. Scully. With A.D. Follmer!" 

CSM nodded, "That's right." 

"Oh my God, would you look at that!" Mulder exclaimed. "I didn't think
normal people could do that. I thought those were tricks in those porn
films." 

"No Fox," CSM replied. "That is a pair of normal people enjoying a
normal physical relationship. Something that you can do if you're
willing to learn." 

Mulder turned to CSM and there was a look of appeal in his eyes, "You
really think it's possible that I could do that." 

CSM nodded, "Yes, Fox. You can do that. You can satisfy a woman the
way A.D. Follmer is satisfying Mrs. Scully. I can help you." 

Mulder turned back to the window and pressed his substantial nose to
the glass,  his fists clenched at his sides. "I want to believe," he
sighed. 

PART 46

John Doggett strode quickly down the stairs taking them two at a time,
with Monica Reyes following along behind. When he got to the entrance
to the living room he paused for a moment. "What the ..." 

His astonishment was understandable of course. When he and Reyes had
gone up to  the bedroom the living room was a disaster area, filled
with garbage, chipmunks, chipmunk droppings, chipmunk fur, chipmunk
... well, you get the general idea. Now, a little over an hour later,
his living room was clean and gleaming, and the horrific scent of too
many chipmunks in too small a space had  been replaced by the
fragrance of several very lovely women. Music was being
provided by Alvin, Mork and Langly, who had dug up his old guitar and
were singing a variety of golden oldies, to the amusement of the
beautiful, toga-clad women who were lounging about the room sipping
drinks and chattering away. Byers was helping to serve the drinks
along with several other handsome men. Two of the ladies were cooing
over Baby Meepmork, who for once was behaving himself and enjoying
their attentions. Spotting Scully and Fowley over  in a corner,
Doggett made his way over to them. "What the hell is going on
here," he asked. 

Scully looked up at him and instantly brightened. "Hi, Agent Doggett,"
she greeted him brightly. "I see you're back to normal." 

"Yeah, everything's right the way it should be," Doggett replied. "I'm
guessing  Mulder is okay?" 

"Oh sure, Fox is doing just fine," Fowley replied. "He's over there by
the window, having a heart-to-heart with his dear old dad the
smokestack." 

Doggett and Reyes glanced over and saw the two men, their heads
together, talking earnestly as they stared out the window. "It looks
like Agent Mulder came through his cure just fine," Reyes said. 

"Oh yeah, he just sailed right through," Scully answered. 

"Actually, you could say he sped right through," Fowley sniped with
just a hint  of malice. 

Scully gave Fowley a look sour enough to curdle Ms. Fowley's supply of
breast milk. "Yeah, like you ever had any better with him," she
retorted. "From what you were telling me a few minutes ago he didn't
exactly make it last with you, either." 

"Uh ... can anyone tell me where Skinner is?" Doggett asked. "And who
all of these people are?" 

"His Surliness is upstairs in the spare bedroom taking the cure, so to
speak," 

Doggett heard the voice of a sultry Southern woman behind him and
turned to see  a radiant beauty watching him. "And all of these people
are Walter's Wenches and our cabana boys." 

"And you are ..." Reyes asked. 

"I'm Poochespup, one of Walter's Wenches," Poochespup replied, giving
Reyes a quick look and then mentally dismissing her to focus her full
attention on the gorgeous specimen of manhood that was John Doggett.
"I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting you though, sirrrr,"
she drawled out the last word sexily. 

"No, you must have arrived while I was upstairs," Doggett answered,
grinning at  the vision before him, all thoughts of the last hour with
Monica Reyes totally forgotten as he came under the wily Wench's
spell. "I'm John Doggett. Pleased to make your acquaintance." 

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Doggett," Poochespup replied,
extending her hand graciously. "Is it my imagination or do I detect a
touch of the Southern man in your speech." 

"How perceptive of you, Miss Poochespup," Doggett replied, his blue
eyes dancing and his thin lips smiling widely. "I'm a Georgia boy,
born in Democrat Hot Springs." 

"Why I declare, we're practically neighbors," Poochespup laughed. "I'm
from Kentucky." 

"You don't say!" Doggett replied, slipping his arm around Poochespup's
waist, to the annoyance of Reyes and Scully. "It's been a long time
since I've had the  chance to chat with a Southern belle." 

"John," Reyes stamped her foot in annoyance. "Don't you think ..." 

"Monica, why don't you go watch The Brady Bunch," Doggett gave her a
dismissive  look and then turned his attention back to Poochespup. "I
must thank you and your friends for the wonderful clean-up job you've
done around here." 

"Why, it's the least we could do, Mr. Doggett." Poochespup drawled,
gently touching his shoulder with her warm fingers. "After all, you're
allowing us to use your fine house for our Wenchly get-together." 

"Please, Miss Poochespup, call me John," Doggett himself was drawling
now, his latent Southern accent now unmistakable and all trace of New
York-ese gone. "You know, I'm powerful thirsty and that drink in your
hand looks awfully inviting." 

"Well, I'm sure one of our Cabana Boys would be delighted to get you a
drink," Poochespup exclaimed. "Maybe we should go on over to the bar
and get that thirst of yours taken care of, hmm?" 

"I'm in your hands, Miss Poochespup." Doggett grinned, slipping his
arm around her waist. 

"Hmmm ... what a delightfully delicious thought," Poochespup drawled,
batting her eyes at him and slipping her arm around his waist. As the
two moved off together towards the bar, Scully and Reyes watched in
fury and disbelief as Poochespup's hand slid down from Doggett's waist
to rest on his trim, toned butt. 

"I don't believe this!" Reyes exclaimed. "How could he just go off
with her after just coming out of my bed!" 

Fowley, whose creed was never miss a chance to put someone down, gave
Reyes a single contemptuous glance. "Maybe he didn't get no
satisfaction," she quipped. 

"Why you b!tch!" Reyes exclaimed angrily. 

"That's Queen B!tch Goddess of the Cosmos, to be exact." Fowley
declared with a  toss of her carefully lacquered hair. 

"That's enough from both of you." Scully broke in. "Monica, you should
just let  it go. You know what you always say ... go with the flow." 

"Go with the flow be damned!" Reyes fumed. "It's easy for you to say
that. Mulder didn't take off with some strange ... Wench!" Reyes
fumed. 

Scully smiled smugly and glanced over at where Mulder was still in
conversation  with CSM. "That's true," she smirked. "I know where MY
man is!" 

Meanwhile, CSM and Mulder continued their conversation. "So you see,
my dear boy, it's all a matter of self control." CSM explained. "When
it comes to bedroom games, it's not like it is with other games. He
who finishes last finishes best." 

"Well, I see your point, I guess." Mulder commented, scratching his
head. "I don't know why Dad didn't tell me all of this. He had me
convinced that the best thing I could do for a woman was to get in,
get done and get out fast." 

CSM shook his head sadly, "Perhaps now you understand why your mother
turned to  me," he said softly. "Poor Teena ... when I think of how
many years she was unsatisfied and unfulfilled ..." 

"Listen ... you know, I want to try some of what you've said but I ..
well .." Mulder paused. 

CSM smiled paternally, "Yes, my son?" 

"Well ... I'm kind of nervous about asking Scully to do it again right
now," Mulder said shyly. "I mean ... I don't want to piss her off by
... well ... you  know ..." 

"I understand completely, my dear boy," CSM murmured. "Take a look
around you though. There are plenty of women here and they are sexy
enough to make a eunuch grow a pair of testicles. Why not experiment
with one of them to see if you have mastered the lesson?" 

"Well ..." Mulder appeared uncertain. 

CSM surveyed the room and saw one particularly lovely Wench standing
by the fireplace looking over at the two of them. It was clear that
she was fascinated  by Mulder and only her innate good manners kept
her from wandering over to interrupt the conversation taking place
between the two men. "Do you see that girl over there, in the jade
green toga?" 

Mulder looked over and his eyes met those of the beauty, who gave him
a seductive smile. "Yee haw," he whistled. 

"I take it you find her attractive?" CSM asked. 

"Attractive isn't the word," Mulder replied. "She is definitely having
an effect on me." 

CSM looked down and it was obvious what kind of effect the Wench was
having. "Son, I think you're tenting," he commented. 

"You're right," Mulder said, somewhat abashed and he spread his hands
over his frontal region to try to hide his obvious physical reaction.

But Mulder had not moved quickly enough ... the Wench had caught a
glimpse of his condition and that was enough for her. She set her
drink down on the fireplace mantle and glided gracefully over to where
CSM and Mulder were standing. "Excuse me," she said in a light, silver
bell-like voice. "I'm sorry to interrupt you both." 

"Oh, don't worry about that," CSM murmured. 

"Let me introduce myself, I'm A Maus, but everyone calls me Mausie. I
couldn't help but notice that the two of you seemed fascinated by what
was going on outside," the Wench smiled at both of them but her eyes
were fixed on Mulder. 

"Oh ... I'm Mulder," Mulder answered. "And yeah, it's kind of
interesting. If you'd like to see, I'll step back." 

"Oh, don't do that," Mausie replied, coming up close. "I can just
squeeze in here and we can both see, since you're so much taller than
I am." Easily, Mausie inserted herself between Mulder and the window,
her toga-clad butt pressed firmly against his special pride and joy.
Mausie was no fool and wiggled just a little, laughing to herself as
she heard Mulder gasp slightly. "Yes, I can see what has you so
engrossed," she commented, pressing herself backward just a little
more and giving another wiggle. "Of course, I can do everything that
SHE can." 

"Can you?" Mulder was having some difficulty speaking. 

"Of course I can." Mausie replied, turning her head to glance over her
shoulder  at Mulder, giving him her sexiest smile. "And I can do even
more. I have my own  special technique ... the Fouf! Want to give it a
try?" 

Mulder glanced over at CSM who gave him a nod of encouragement. He
wrapped his arm around Mausie's waist, leaned in and whispered his
assent in her ear. She smiled back and together they turned from the
window and made their way out of the living room. CSM smiled and
raised as hand as if in benediction, "Go for it, my son. The fouf is
out there!" 

(Continued in part 6)
 
Part 6
See part 0 for header information.


PART 47

Wench Mary came down the stairs, her eyes sparkling and a beatific
smile on her  face. TeeJay, Ta2Betty and GoScully exchanged knowing
glances as Mary approached them. "Well, Mary, how is our Surly
Pectoral God?" TeeJay asked. 

"He is ... absolutely fantastic," Mary breathed ecstastically. "That
was the most incredible experience of my life." 

"And is he fully recovered?" GoScully asked with a wink. 

"Oh, he is well on the road to recovery but he definitely needs more
attention," Mary replied with her own knowing wink. "He asked me to
send another Wench up to tend to him." 

"We most certainly will do that," Ta2Betty replied, consulting her
list. "Hmmm ... A Maus is here and due for her initiation into the
glory that is Skinner...but I don't see her anywhere." 

"Oh, I saw her go off with that Agent Mulder," GoScully replied. "And
from the looks they were giving each other, I'd say she may be busy
for a little while." 

"Hmmm ... well, it's probably a good idea to send a more experienced
Wench upstairs next," TeeJay said wisely. "I don't see Poochepup
around here, either.  Oh ... but here's Lady Tig ... why don't you
send her up to His Surliness." 

"An excellent choice," Ta2Betty agreed. "I'll go let her know. Mary,
why don't you come with me ... it's time for you to discover the joys
of Skinneritas and Cabana Boys." 

Mary and Ta2Betty wandered over to where Lady Tig was sipping a
Skinnerita and sharing her stories of experiences with the Man with
the other Wenches. GoScully and TeeJay watched as Ta2Betty leaned
over, whispered something and pointed up. Lady Tig's face lit up with
a radiant smile and she quickly excused  herself from the circle,
making her way up the staircase. 

"Well, there goes one happy Wench," GoScully commented with
satisfaction. 

"Yes ... of course we will also have our turn," TeeJay remarked with a
smile. "After all, our beloved Walter never forgets to give the senior
Wenches his very best." 

"Too true, TeeJay," GoScully laughed, then she turned her attention to
the female agents. "Will you look at those three over there? Have you
ever seen a more bitter-faced trio?" 

"Poor things ... they simply couldn't keep their men in line," TeeJay
laughed. 

"Of course, it was to be expected. No man can resist the unparalleled
beauty and unbridled sexuality of a Wench." 

"Especially those three," GoScully chuckled. "I mean, it wasn't even a
fair contest. Look at them. First there's that redhead ... she's a
positive midget. And you can't tell me that hair is for real ... that
shade of red is definitely  a dye job. And her fashion sense?
Puh-leeze!" 

"Oh, I know," TeeJay chortled, taking a sip of her Skinnerita. "And
you see the  brunette over there ... could she be more obvious about
trying to attract attention with that low-cut see-through blouse?" 

"She's no worse than the horse-faced one with the lacquered dark
hair," GoScully whooped. "The only thing she's got going for her are
those big breasts." 

"Which she loses no opportunity to push out every chance she can get,"
TeeJay cracked. "Still, I almost feel sorry for them. Do you think we
should consider sending a few of the cabana boys over to keep them
company?" 

GoScully shook her head, "Nahh ... our boys have their hands full with
the rest  of the Wenches," she replied. "We need to think of our Wench
sisters first." 

"You are so right, GoScully," TeeJay agreed as she rose from the sofa.
"I need a refill ... let's get Ta2Betty to make up another batch of
Skinneritas." 

PART 48

"I don't believe this!" Reyes muttered darkly, her usual bright,
chipper, in-love-with-this-pretty-world expression replaced with the
look of someone who  has eaten an entire lemon. "First Brad takes up
with that slutty mother of yours and then John goes off with that
simpering Southern miss." 

"Just a minute there, where do you come off calling my mother a slut?"
Scully exclaimed angrily, her fists clenching. 

"Come on, Dana, you saw them making it like rabbits in the kitchen,"
Reyes replied with a roll of her eyes. 

"Just because my mother decided to have some fun with your ex-lover
doesn't make her a slut," Scully shot back. "He's the first man she's
done anything with since my father died." 

"That you know of," Reyes quipped. 

"Well I do know about how many men you've been doing so you're the
last person in the world who should be calling anyone a slut," Scully
retorted. "Let's see ... there was Brad Follmer, A.D. Skinner, Agent
Doggett, me, my brother Charlie ... " 

"Wait a minute ... how did you find out about Charlie?" Reyes asked
in surprise.  "Charlie told me all about his rounds with you," Scully
said smugly.  "Didn't you wonder why I knew you'd go wild when you
were kissed on your ..." 

"Excuse me, Agents Frigid and Nympho," Fowley interrupted. "While
watching you two go at it in a catfight may be vastly entertaining at
other times right now I have more important things on my mind." 

"Such as?" 

"Such as why not one of the men in this room has come over here to pay
their proper attention to ME!" Fowley spat out sharply. "I can
understand why they're  ignoring two twits like you but they should be
groveling and drooling before me. Even that little pipsqueak Frohike
isn't hovering. Has the universe slipped  off its axis or has hell
frozen over?" 

"Neither," said GoScully as she came up with Baby Meepmork in her
arms. "It's simply that this room is full of Wenches and no ordinary
woman can compete with  a Wench." 

"Listen, Moronica and Dumb Dana may be ordinary women, I'll grant you
that," Fowley huffed. "But I am no ordinary woman ... I am Special
Agent Diana Fowley,  Queen B!tch Goddess of the Cosmos!" 

"Honey, you may be the queen of queens for all that's worth," GoScully
replied flashing a smile spiced with just the right bit of malicious
snarkiness. "But in a roomful of Wenches you are definitely below the
standard. Although there is one male in the room who is eager for your
attention." 

"Oh ... who?" Fowley brightened, gave a toss of her lacquered hair and
jutted out her bosom in anticipation. 

"Your little bundle of joy here," GoScully declared as she thrust
Meepmork into  his mother's arms. "He's all yours!" 

"Oh well, I guess it's better than nothing," Fowley said as she looked
into the  infant's face. "You still have enough sense to appreciate
how special your mother is, don't you Meepmork?" 

"Are you kidding, Mom, those Wenches are works of art." Meepmork
answered. "They're beautiful, funny, sexy, witty ..." 

"Then why did you want to come back to your mother?" Scully asked. 

"I'm hungry!" Meepmork replied calmly, using his little hands to
unbutton Fowley's blouse. "And Mom's nugs are the only full ones
around here. Lemme at 'em!" and quickly his little mouth wrapped
itself around Fowley's left nipple and he began sucking greedily. 

PART 49

Meanwhile back in the hot tub, Brad and Maggie had slurped down yet
another pair of jello shots, while continuing to be oblivious to the
bacchanal taking place in the house. 

After the Kama Sutra moves and the Venus Butterfly, they lazed in the
warm water, their hands and tongues languidly exploring each other's
body.  "What do  you suppose is going on inside?" 

Brad raised his head from Maggie's cleavage, and turned slightly to
look at the  windows, where he could see the curtains twitching
slightly.  "Haven't a clue, though I suspect that someone is watching
us. . ..uh a little ;lower snookums. . ." 

Maggie complied and was rewarded with a purring noise from Brad. But
her interest was piqued and she moved slightly so she could see the
windows. Sure enough the curtains were twitching and she thought she
recognized the face peering around the edge of the curtain. 

"Brad I do believe that's Mr. Frohike. Such a sweet little man, You
should have  seen him when Dana was returned from her abduction. He
brought flowers every day she was in the hospital." 

Maggie turned back towards Brad and realized that another set of
curtains at another window was twitching. She locked eyes with Mavis
who went red with embarrassment as she realized that she and Bea had
been found out. Maggie smiled and raised her hand to wave. 

"Brad we seem to have acquired an audience, why don't we invite them
to join us?" 

Brad looked at her with amazement and then seeing her seductive smile,
and contemplating the idea of a group in the tub acquiesced. 

"Why not, the more the merrier." 

Together they gestured to Frohike, Bea and Mavis, indicating that they
should join them in the tub. 

Frohike looked around the room and realizing that if slipped away, no
one was likely to miss him, made his way out to the hot tub. To his
surprise and indeed  pleasure he found that two comely WOWs had also
joined the party. 

Maggie, ever the perfect hostess, passed the pan of jello shots and
the party got under way. 

PART 50

Back in the living room, GoScully looked up and saw Doggett and
Poochespup returning from the garage. "Ah, Poochie," she greeted her
with a hug. "I'm glad  you're back. His Surliness would like to see
you upstairs in five minutes." 

"Oh wonderful!" Poochespup replied. "That gives me just enough time to
fix my face." She turned to Doggett and extended her hand "Thank you
so much for a simply delightful time, John. I'd forgotten how
passionate Southern men could be." 

Doggett took her hand and raised it to his lips in a courtly gesture,
"It was my pleasure, Miss Poochespup," he drawled. "I can assure you
that this was delightful for me, too." 

Poochespup gave a knowing wink and headed in the direction of the
bathroom while Reyes scowled at Doggett, "You can drop the Rhett
Butler routine, John. You haven't been any further south than Falls
Church, Virginia since you were five years old." 

"Maybe not, but a sweet Southern lady like Miss Poochespup just brings
out the Southern man in me," Doggett replied. "She's a real charmer."

"Yes indeed she is," GoScully said with a smile. "Poochie is one of
the favorite Wenches here ... everybody loves her." 

"I can understand why," Doggett answered with a warm smile that
clearly conveyed the deep impression his session with Poochespup had
left on him. "I'm feeling a bit thirsty and I understand that there's
a bar going on here?' 

"There sure is," GoScully replied, taking Doggett's arm. "Come with me
and I'll  introduce you to the pleasures of the Skinnerita. I think
you'll enjoy it." 

As they moved off, Reyes stared jealously at the departing Doggett. "I
cannot believe that right after leaving my bed John did it with
another woman," she exclaimed. 

"Poor Monica," Scully said with exaggerated faux sympathy. "It must be
hard on you to know that your man just had sex with somebody else." 

"Oh, stop the phony sympathy routine," Reyes snapped back at her.
"After all, your guy is off with a Wench, too." 

Scully smiled smugly. "At least I know he's not having sex with her."

"And how do you know that, Dr. Dana?" Reyes enquired. 

Scully consulted her watch, "Because they've been gone almost an
hour," she replied. "If they had been having sex, they would have been
back 30 minutes ago." 

"That's true," Fowley replied as she shifted Meepmork to her right
breast. "No way would it take this long for Mulder to make it with
someone." 

It was more than Reyes could bear, to know that Doggett had given in
to the wiles of the winsome Wenches. She paced the room for a moment,
trying to find an outlet for her frustration then, dropping to her
knees and raising her eyes to heaven, she began to chant the Love Song
of the Lonely Whale. 

"What in the hell is that god-awful sound?" GoScully asked, as the
sound of Reyes' whale song overcame the (admittedly questionable)
music being made by Alvin, Langly and Mork. 

Doggett heaved a deep, heavy sigh. "That's Monica again. Whenever she
gets into  one of her moods she goes off on either a chant or a whale
song." 

"That is the ugliest sound I've ever heard," Ta2Betty commented as she
mixed up  another batch of Skinneritas. "Nothing could be worse than
that." 

"You wanna bet," Doggett asked as he accepted the offered Skinnerita.
"You haven't heard Agent Scully try to sing." 

"It's that bad?" GoScully asked, taking a Skinnerita of her own. 

Doggett gave a shudder and downed the Skinnerita in one quick gulp.
"Agent Scully makes Monica sound like Julie Andrews," he replied. "One
night she sang a lullaby to the kid and I was ready to arrest her for
child abuse." 

"Well, let's hope she doesn't join Agent Reyes in a duet," GoScully
commented, taking a sip of her own drink. 

"Amen to that!" Ta2Betty agreed. "Oh look, here comes Mausie and that
Agent Mulder. Over here, Mausie." 

Mausie came over, leading Mulder by the hand. "Hello Ta2 and GS. How
are you doing?" 

"We're just fine," GoScully replied. "We were just getting ready to
call for you. Poochespup is up there with His Surliness and he's asked
that you go upstairs next." 

"Me?!" Mausie stammered. "He wants to see ME!" 

"Of course he does," Ta2Betty replied. "It's time for your initiation
as a full-fledged Wench." 

"Oh wow!" Mausie exclaimed, suddenly as giddy as a teenager. "I ... oh
wow! I'm  just so nervous all of a sudden. I mean ... what if I do
something wrong? Or what if I don't satisfy him?" 

"I wouldn't worry about that, Mausie." Mulder broke in with a knowing
wink. "You just have to show him that fouf of yours and he'll be putty
in your hands.  Just like I was." 

"You really think so?" Mausie asked. 

"Of course I do," Mulder replied. "No man could resist Da Fouf!" 

"Oh, I hope you're right," Mausie exclaimed. "I'd better run to the
powder room  and freshen up ... I want to be at my best when it's time
for me to go upstairs." 

As Mausie disappeared CSM wandered over and gave Mulder a quizzical
look. "Well, son?" 

Mulder grinned at him. "Well, what?" 

"You were gone for quite a while with A Maus," CSM commented as he
pulled out a  Morley and lit it up. "I take it that your session with
her was effective?" 

"Let's just say that the Fouf was definitely out there," Mulder
replied with a sly grin. "And I found out what a woman means when she
says she wants a lover with a 'slow hand and an easy touch.'" 

"You mean you and A Maus ..." Doggett questioned with a raised
eyebrow. 

"You've got it," Mulder replied. 

"And how many times?" CSM asked. 

"For Mausie ... three," Mulder answered smugly. "For me ... one. One
long, drawn out damn hot time!" 

CSM slapped Mulder on the back. "Congratulations, my son," he beamed
proudly. "Today you have learned one of the most important truths of
all." 

Mulder glanced across the room and noticed that Scully was signaling
to him. "Uh ... excuse me, guys. I'll be right back." 

PART 51

Frohike got one look at Mavis and Bea, who, despite their quaintly
old-fashioned names, and spinsterhood, were indeed a fine pair of
WOWs. Years of yoga, regular visits to a lovely little day spa as well
as a lot of time on the Internet, and careful perusal of, ahem,
"instructional" videos had seen to that. Indeed, they were ready to
roll. 

"Hello ladies. . .Melvin Frohike at your service and command." His
grin grew larger as the jello shot hit his empty stomach and two pair
of amazingly skilled hands began a detailed investigation of his body.

"I'm Mavis Pendennis and this is my sister Bea. We've read about a few
things we'd like to try out. . .would that be agreeable to you?"
Frohike was overcome with the ethereal fragrance of the two sisters
(Mavis favored a judicious application of Opium while Bea was a
Samsara aficionado), their roving hands and they Hoover quality
mouths. He made a squeaking noise of assent and gave into the
pleasuring he was being given. In his mind, this was better than
anything going on in the house. 

Brad and Maggie, with a warm glow of pleasure at having brought the
unlikely trio together, didn't want to be too voyeuristic so they
opted to continue their own investigation of each other. They seemed
to be able to continually find new ways to pursue their investigation.

Some time later, the five sated tubbers once again passed the tray of
refreshments and with a variety of toasts each downed yet another
jello shot. 

"Well now, isn't this lovely." Mavis surveyed the others with a
satisfied smile. 

"I must admit that in all the time Mr. Doggett has lived here, we've
never seen  him use this hot tub. Bea and I both thought it was a
terrible waste of a lovely tub. We both thought he spent way too much
time cleaning his gun and watching NASCAR." 

"Man didn't have his priorities straight." Frohike added, shaking his
head. 

"It's a fine hot tub, and my dear Miss Mavis, and Miss Bea you both
certainly add to the, ahh, ambience. 

Bea, who was naturally less loquacious than her sister laughed, low in
her throat while Mavis beamed and said, "Why thank you Melvin." 

"Uhm, Mr. Frohike could you enlighten us as to just what has been
going on inside. . ." Maggie was somewhat curious, though completely
guiltless at having  unloaded Meepmork. 

"Well Mrs. Scully, that's a long and strange story. . ." 

PART 52

Mulder sauntered over to where Scully was standing with Reyes, Fowley
and little  Meepmork. "You're looking for me, Scully?" he asked
nonchalantly. 

"Yes, I was getting a bit worried, Mulder," Scully replied. "You were
gone with  that little ... what's her name ... quite a while." 

"Her name is A Maus and I wasn't aware that we were gone that long,"
Mulder said with a grin. "Time with Mausie just flew right by." 

"Mausie?" Scully raised an eyebrow and her habitual frown deepened.
"You call her Mausie?" 

"That's what she asked me to call her," Mulder answered. 

"When did she ask you to call her that?" Fowley asked as she flipped
Meepmork onto her shoulder to burp him. 

"A little while ago when we were ... uh ..." Mulder paused as he
realized that it might not be a good idea to tell his ex-lover and his
current lover (in a manner of speaking!) what he and Mausie had been
up to in the kitchen. 

But nothing could escape the sensitive psychic antenna of Agent Monica
Reyes. Her eagle eyes took in the tousled hair, the sweatshirt that
had been so hastily put back on that it was inside out, and the untied
drawstring of the sweatpants. Now the good Monica Reyes, the sweet and
loving flower child who wanted everything to be in harmony would have
kept her mouth shut. But that was  not the Monica Reyes who was in the
Doggett living room at that moment. Instead  there was the Monica
Reyes who thanked Buddha, Isis and Osiris that she had been given a
golden opportunity to stick it to Scully and Fowley. And who was
she to throw away such a divinely sent opportunity? 

Smiling sweetly, Reyes completed Mulder's sentence for him, "A little
while ago  when he was banging little Mausie." 

"WHAT?????" Scully and Fowley both exclaimed in ear-shattering unison.

"Why Dana and Diana, it is quite obvious that Agent Mulder spent the
last hour or so getting intimately acquainted with little Wench
Mausie," Reyes replied calmly, her toothy smile wider than it had ever
been before. "I mean, look at him. His hair ... his clothes ... the
lipstick all over his face!" 

"Oh my God, Fox," Fowley growled. "You didn't ..." 

"Aw, hell Mom, of course he did!" little Meepmork piped up after
delivering one  huge burp. "For Chrissakes when he left here he was
sticking out like a flagpole. Now he's as limp as a wet noodle." 

All eyes ... including Mulder's ... went down to the nether regions of
his sweatpants. There was no question that Meepmork was right ... the
evidence was undeniable that Bob had been engaged in enough activity
to send him into a flaccid slumber. 

As the horrible reality sank in, Scully's blue eyes widened and her
lower lip trembled. Her entire little body began to shake. "Mulder ...
you did it ... with another woman ..." 

"Scully ... it's not..." Mulder stammered. 

"You ... you did it with another woman ... and you LASTED OVER AN
HOUR!!!!" Scully screamed. "I ... you ..." and with that Scully ran
out of the room and out the front door, with Mulder in hot pursuit. 

Monica Reyes turned to Diana Fowley, beaming triumphantly. "And you
call yourself the Queen B!tch Goddess of the Cosmos," she chortled
smugly. "Let's see you top that one, Mommie Dearest." 

PART 53

Scully stopped at her car and began to fumble through her purse for
her keys, her eyes blinded by tears. She tried to stop the flow of
salt water but in her self-pitying state she really felt she had the
right to a good cry. After all, it had been a really crappy day for
her. It's not easy to find out that the baby you carried in your womb
for 13 months and had taken such thorough care of  (when you can't
find someone else to take care of him for you) isn't really
yours after all. It doesn't help when you find your mother having
great sex with a tall, blond well-built stud while you're relegated to
an upstairs room in a fellow agent's house with an overgrown man-munk
who gives new meaning to the phrase "Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma'am!" Or
to suddenly find yourself in a room surrounded by several impossibly
gorgeous Wenches, one of whom screws with  the man you love and gets
more sack time in one session than you've gotten in three! For Dana
Scully, super-intelligent, beautiful, kick-ass FBI goddess,
these were definitely NOT the best of times. 

Scully felt a hand on her shoulder and heard a well known monotone
voice "Scully ..." 

Scully shook his hand off her shoulder and than, possessed with an
almost maniacal rage, she whirled around and quickly delivered a
brutal kick to Mulder's groin. "Take that, you would be super-stud!"
she growled. 

"Arrggghhh!" Mulder grunted and doubled over in pain, "Scully what are
you trying to do to me?" 

"I'll teach you to give another woman what you can't give to me, you
son-of-a-b!tch!" Scully hissed, drawing back her leg as she prepared
to deliver  another well-placed kick. 

"Scully, come on," Mulder groaned. "After all of this time and all
we've been through, you owe it to me ...you owe it to us ...to hear me
out." 

Scully choked back her anger and leaned against her car, crossing her
arms in front of her. "Okay, no one can say I'm not a reasonable
woman," she acknowledged. "So start talking." 

As the pain in his much-cherished nether region began to ease, Mulder
straightened himself up so he could look Scully in the eye. "Scully,
you have to understand ... what happened in there with Mausie ... that
was all for you and for us." 

Scully's eyebrows raised as she gave him a look that was as skeptical
as the one she delivered when he told her about the Mexican
goatsucker. "Come on, Mulder," she sneered. "You're the one who
believes anything." 

"I'm telling you the truth Scully," Mulder said earnestly putting as
much emotion as he could into his voice and succeeding in raising it
just a slight level of expression above a monotone. "You may not know
this, but I'm really a very passionate man. And because of that I've
always had a problem with ... well ... with control. It's haunted me
all my life." 

"Go on," Scully said, tapping her foot impatiently. 

"Well, it hasn't been easy to be as well-endowed as I am and to have
this issue  with control," Mulder continued, his lower lip beginning
to tremble slightly as  he recalled those disastrous experiences in
high school and college. "Girls when they saw me just naturally
assumed that because of my equipment I'd be able to deliver a long hot
night of passion. Instead they were lucky if they got 15 minutes. Can
you just imagine what that did to my ego?" 

In spite of herself, Scully began to feel some sense of compassion for
her partner as he told this story. It was almost as moving as the
story of Samantha's kidnapping. A brief flicker of sympathy crossed
her face, very fleeting but Mulder's eagle eye spotted it and it gave
him the courage to continue. "Anyway, eventually I stopped dating at
all. I tried again with Phoebe Green and Diana Fowley, but I had the
same results with them. And believe me, both of them let me know just
how dissatisfied with me they were." Mulder paused and grimaced as he
recalled that explosive scene with Diana and the horribly wounding
things she had said. "After I broke up with Diana, I just 
gave up on women and devoted myself to porn and a little right-handed
relief. And I also convinced myself that the problem wasn't with me at
all ... that men  were supposed to achieve the ultimate objective as
quickly as possible." 

Scully sighed sympathetically, then caught herself. "Just what does
that have to do with what happened tonight?" she demanded. 

"I'm getting to that," Mulder replied. "But let me finish the story
properly, okay?" 

"Okay, Mulder but please don't make this one of your 20-minute
monologues." 

"When you and I met, I felt an attraction to you but I didn't want to
give in to it because I was pretty sure how it would end," Mulder
continued. "You would  be swept away by my devastating good looks, my
incredible genius, my boyish enthusiasm and charisma and finally my
super-sized Anaconda. And then you'd be disappointed in me and you'd
drop me after our first night together. I didn't want to risk that, so
I kept you at arms length for seven long years. Then finally, one
lonely night, you got to me and let me into your bed. And even
though our moment was brief ... you didn't turn away." 

"Of course I didn't, Mulder," Scully exclaimed, her lower lip
beginning to tremble. "How could you think that I would? After all,
there's more to our relationship than just sex." 

"Let's get real here, Scully ... our relationship has been about
everything BUT  sex," Mulder sighed. "I really didn't think you would
go to the bedroom with me  today when I needed you to cure me, and you
shocked the hell out of me when you  did. And inside I was hoping that
this whole chipmunk thing would give me more staying power. But it
didn't and you were disappointed again. And of course, in 
my own denial I told myself that you weren't disappointed ... that you
were pleased to get it over with so quickly." 

"Mulder, that still doesn't explain about Mausie ..." Scully was
beginning to get angry again as she felt that he was manipulating her
into feeling sorry for  him. 

"I'm getting to that right now," Mulder answered. "Old Smoky a/k/a my
dear biological daddy decided that tonight would be a good time to
live up to one of  his parental obligations and had a little talk with
me about what it takes to satisfy a woman. And given his track record
he ought to know." 

"Mulder, that cigarette smoking son-of-a-b!tch is hardly a woman's
dream man," Scully exclaimed. 

"Maybe not now but when he was younger he managed to nail every woman
in sight,  including my mother," Mulder replied. "Anyway, after his
talk with me I knew I needed to see if I had absorbed the lesson. But
I didn't want to try with you first, Scully. Because I didn't want to
disappoint you again. So when Mausie came along and let me know that
she wanted me ... well ... it seemed like the perfect solution." 

"Mulder ..." Scully began, drawing a deep breath. 

"Scully, don't you see, I did it with Mausie for you and for us."
Mulder said as earnestly as monotone voice would permit, his hazel
eyes beginning to water with emotion. "Mausie is a sweet and
attractive woman but she was a means to an  end. Now I know that I'm
ready for you ... ready for us." 

"Mulder that has got to be one of the strangest explanations for
infidelity that I have ever heard," Scully exclaimed. 

Mulder came closer and reached for Scully's hand. When she didn't
snatch it away he took hope and slowly drew her closer. "Scully, you
have to believe it,"  he said earnestly. "It's the truth, I swear it."

Scully sighed ... she wanted so much to believe Mulder. Then a thought
occurred  to her. "Mulder, what about Mausie?" she asked. "Was it fair
of you to use her like that?" 

"Mausie knows," Mulder replied. "I told her all about it because I
wanted to make sure that I wouldn't be hurting her feelings. It turns
out that she was just using me too ... she wanted to make sure her
Fouf technique was in top form before she was called up to spend time
with Skinner." 

Scully giggled just a little through her resumed flow of tears. "Oh,
Mulder!" she exclaimed. "I want so much to believe you." 

Mulder drew Scully closer. "Believe me, Scully," he murmured, taking
her face between his hands and looking into the limpid blue eyes
overflowing with tears.  "Trust me," he whispered as he leaned closer
and his full, hot, passionate lips  made contact with the cool, dry,
ivory skin of Scully's forehead. 

PART 54

Back in the living room of the Doggett house, Mork, Alvin and Langly
had launched into another immortal golden oldie, "Does Your Chewing
Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?" Doggett and Byers were
busy amusing various Wenches by doing Skinnerita shooters. CSM was
still standing at the window watching the goings-on in the back yard
with intent interest. Fowley gave him a  look of sheer irritation.
"What exactly is it that you are finding SO fascinating, you
black-lunged b@stard?" she enquired crossly. 

"The show out in the hot tub is getting more and more interesting, my
dear Diana," CSM replied smoothly, barely giving her a glance. 

"Look, I know that Ma Scully and the Blond Stud are doing a first
class job of getting it on, but I've already seen that," Fowley
sniffed. 

"Ah, but a few new players have entered the game," CSM said smoothly.
"It's making for quite an interesting show." 

Meepmork pulled on Fowley's lacquered hair with one of his fists,
breaking a couple of strands off in the process. "Come on, Ma, I wanna
see what the old smokestack is talking about!" 

"Oh, all right," Fowley couldn't resist giving in to her malicious
little offspring. With Meepmork in her arms she sauntered over to the
window and gave a casual glance. What she saw made her do a double
take and she was absolutely riveted. The color heightened in her face,
her jaw dropped, her eyes grew wild and she began to pant in what
could only be described as a major snit. "I don't  believe it!" she
exclaimed. "That little toad ... that cretin ... that roly-poly midget
with the glasses is having it off out there?" 

"Holy s-it, look a little Frohike go!" Meepmork exclaimed. "With that
technique  he could give Ron Jeremy a run for his money!" 

"Excuse me, but how do you know about Ron Jeremy?" CSM asked blandly.

Meepmork gave him a smug little smile, "I just know!" 

"Damn it, is everyone in this house having sex in one form or another
but me?" Fowley exclaimed in a fury. 

CSM turned his attention from the window to survey her calmly. "Well
my dear Diana, if you are in need I stand more than ready to oblige
you." 

Fowley gave him a look that would freeze boiling oil, "Keep it in your
pants, old man," she snarled. "I'd sooner make it with a corpse." 

CSM shrugged, "From what I've heard you've done that once or twice,"
he said as  he turned back to the window. "There's no accounting for
taste, I suppose." 

A disconsolate Monica Reyes gulped down her third (or maybe it was her
fourth) brandy (she'd found it hidden in John Doggett's pantry and had
kept the discovery to herself). She wobbled unsteadily over to where
Mork, Alvin and Langly had wrapped up their latest song. "Hey
Langley," she slurred, "Cn you play me somefin?" 

"What do you want to hear?" Langly asked. 

"I wanna hear somefin dat reminds me of John Doggett, my skirt-chasing
parner,"  Reyes slurred. "An' it should be somefin Southern." 

"I've got it," Langly said as he adjusted his guitar. "It's an old
Willie Nelson song." He softly strummed the guitar and played the
opening chords of 'Crazy.' 

"Thash perfec'" Reyes sighed. 

"I thought Patsy Cline did that song," Mork commented. 

"She sang it, Willie Nelson wrote it," Alvin replied. "I used to play
that song  a lot after we were separated, Mork." 

"I know what you mean," Mork sniffed. "I played Stormy Weather a lot."

Reyes was swaying in time with the music and then she lifted her head
and began  to sing, "Craaaazeee ... m crazeee fer feelin' so
lone-le-eyyyyy." 

Langly looked to Mork and Alvin who quickly began to sing "Oo oo oo"
giving Reyes adequate backup. 

"Craaazeeee ... crazzeee fer feelin so blooooooooooooo," Reyes
warbled. 

Fowley gave Reyes a withering glance of contempt, "Crazy, she sure
is!" 

PART 55

Frohike regaled the others with the chaos going on in the house. When
he got to  the part about Monica and Charlie, Maggie sputtered
angrily. 

"That little tramp." Her vehemence startled them all. 

"What's the matter snookums." Brad punctuated his query with a kiss. 

"Monica seducing poor Charlie." 

"Seducing?" 

"Oh Brad you know that Charlie is gay, that little slut will sleep
with just anyone to notch up a conquest. But it fits something. I
remember a little kerfluffle between Charlie and Paul. Oh that b*tch.
I could just throttle her." 

Brad had never seen Maggie quite so het up. "Oh Snookums don't be
upset." He was unsure what else to say. 

"Oh Brad," she sighed. "He's my son and that bimbo hurt him and hurt
Paul." Maggie really made no bones about preferring her second son to
her older son and had come to love Charlie's partner equally. The two
were so well suited and  their decorating skills had been put to good
use in her South of France villa. 

"Well dearheart, we will have to deal with her. Anyone that upsets my
Maggie upsets me." Brad had finally figured out the right thing to
say. 

"Oh Brad, you really are too good to me. I know that your position
with the FBI  is a little awkward just now, but could you see if
something could be done. Reassignment to someplace, like. .
.Deadhorse, Alaska." The name came to Maggie  from years before when
Dana and Fox had spent some time in that back of the beyond location.

"For you Maggie, anything. I may still have a marker or two I can call
in." 

"Oh Brad" Maggie proceeded to show her appreciation in a stunning
display of agility. 

Frohike who had been following the conversation with interest chipped
in at this point, "Yeah, Monica is a real little new age tramp. It
seems she's slept with everyone. I wonder. . . you don't suppose that
there was more than one Monica in the Oval Office do you?" 

PART 56

Over on the living room sofa, Ta2Betty, TeeJay and GoScully were
raising their glasses of Skinneritas in a toast, "Here's to Wench
Mausie." TeeJay exclaimed. "Upstairs enjoying her first session with
the Man." 

"Ah, I remember my first time," Ta2Betty sighed. "Three years ago.
What a special event that was. Of course, it's only gotten better with
time," she said  with a wink. 

"Speaking of Wench Mausie, here she comes," GoScully commented as she
saw Mausie descend the stairs, "Looking for us, hon?" 

Mausie came over to the couch, walking with a slightly spraddle legged
gait that caused the three senior wenches to smile knowingly. They
could see the light in her eyes that every Wench carries after her
induction with the Surly Pectoral God. "Ah, Mausie, how does it feel
to be a fully inducted Wench?" TeeJay asked. 

Mausie sighed with pleasure and shook herself a little, "All I can say
is ... even in my dreams I never could have imagined what a man he
is." 

"I know," Ta2Betty agreed, putting a sisterly arm around Mausie. "That
first time is always an amazing experience." 

"He asked me to send GoScully up next," Mausie said. "He says he wants
to start  spending time with the Top Wenches." 

"Hot damn, I've been waiting for this." GoScully exclaimed and she
jumped off the couch. "Ladies, I'll see you later." 

Ta2Betty watched fondly as GoScully sauntered up the stairs, stopping
for a moment to pick up a bag she had hidden by the staircase. "Ah,
her patience is about to be rewarded," she exclaimed, then turned her
attention back to Mausie. 

"Now Mausie, it's time to introduce you to the liquid pleasure known
as the Skinnerita." 

Mausie accepted her Skinnerita from Ta2Betty with a grateful smile.
"Thank you so much, I really need this," she commented. "I've worked
up quite a thirst." 

"I'm sure you have," TeeJay replied as Ta2Betty refilled her glass.
"Now what shall we toast to?" 

"I think we should toast GoScully," Mausie said as she lifted her
glass. "May the Piece of Skinner be in her." 

"Perfect," Ta2Betty replied. "To GoScully." 

"May the Piece of Skinner be in her," TeeJay intoned. "And may it soon
be in all of us." 

"Amen, Sister!" Ta2Betty echoed as they raised their glasses and
drank, their eyes sparkling mischievously as they imagined what was
going on in the upstairs  bedroom. 

PART 57

Outside the upstairs bedroom, GoScully sauntered over to the closed
door and rapped on it, not timidly, but sharply and with confidence.
The well-loved, sexy voice intoned, "Come in." GoScully opened the
door and slowly entered the bedroom, using her slowest, sexiest strut
as she crossed the threshold, closing  the door behind her. 

The object of her desire was standing in the doorway of the bathroom,
beads of water dropping from his manly, well-formed head and his deep,
strong chest. A towel was wrapped around his midsection, but as she
strutted into the bedroom, giving her hips a little extra swing she
was pleased to see some movement underneath, indicating that she was
definitely having an effect. "I heard you were ready to see me," she
breathed. 

(Continued in part 7)

Part 7
See part 0 for header information.


Skinner smiled at her. "I'm sorry I made you wait, GoScully," he said
as he walked towards her. "But I wanted to make sure I got the new
Wenches properly inducted. Besides you Senior Wenches do take a lot
out of a man." 

"Well, I must admit it was tough to wait," GoScully said just a
little petulantly. "But I know you have your duties towards the new
Wenches and I've learned to be patient. I just wonder ..." 

"Wonder what?" Skinner asked, coming closer. 

"Well, you did suffer a miserable fate being turned into a chipmunk
and all." GoScully came closer so that she was standing right in front
of him and ran her  hands along his shoulders, tracing down his arms
and letting her fingers play over his chest. "And you are in sort of a
recovery stage ..." 

"Yesssssss" Skinner said softly, wrapping his own arms around
GoScully's waist,  holding her loosely. "And?" 

"Well ..." GoScully pouted prettily, continuing to play with the hairs
on Skinner's chest, allowing her hands to drift down to the rock hard
stomach. "I can't help but wonder if you're too tired to have to deal
with me. I wouldn't want to jeopardize your recovery." 

Skinner laughed softly and pulled GoScully closer, so that their
bodies were pressed together, "I think you can tell that I'm more than
ready to deal with you, my dear," he laughed. 

Feeling the evidence of his apparent recovery, GoScully's face was lit
with a wicked smile. "Oh my, I'd say you definitely are," she
murmured. "I can see that this is going to be well worth the wait." 

"Isn't it always?" Skinner laughed as he nuzzled her neck. "And since
you've been so patient, this time we'll play things your way. So,
GoScully, how shall we start?" 

With some difficulty, GoScully pulled away from Skinner and picked up
the bag she had tossed on the bed. "Well, since you asked ..." she
giggled, reaching into the bag and pulling out a pair of white
bellbottoms, a striped shirt, and a sailor's hat. 

Upon seeing the garments in her hands, Skinner's eyes began to dance
with a wicked light. "Don't tell me ... let me guess. You want me to
play the horny sailor." 

"Got it in one, " GoScully laughed, tossing the garments to Skinner,
which he caught effortlessly. "You'll be the horny sailor and I'll be
your eager Wench." 

Skinner grinned back at her, "Okay, me proud Beauty," he said with an
exaggerated accent. "Give me a moment to get into these clothes and
then we can  get started." 

As Skinner shut the door to the bathroom, GoScully put the bag back on
the bed and reached into it, pulling out another garment. A
mischievous smile filled with anticipation of what the next hour (or
more) would bring crossed her face as she laid the garment onto the
bed and began to remove her toga. 

The door from the bathroom opened and Skinner emerged, the very
picture of a very tall, very athletic sailor-man (no way could he be
called sailor-BOY), his  body beautifully set off by the tight white
bell-bottom pants and the equally tight striped shirt. A jaunty
sailor's hat tilted at a rakish angle from his head. "Ahoy, me
darlin'" he called. "I'm home from a long voyage and I need me
some lovin'!" 

GoScully turned from the CD player where she had inserted the CD to
face her seaman. She had changed from her toga into a very tight red
satin dress cut low  in the front and high on the leg, fitting snugly
to show the proud bosom, supple waist and curvy hips. At the sight of
Skinner, her eyes sparkled and her  red lips smiled invitingly. "So I
see, Walter," she breathed. 

Skinner stopped for a moment at the sight and then advanced towards
GoScully, the expression on his face one of desire mixed with awe and
admiration. "Damn, GoScully," he murmured as he drew closer to her.
"Where did you find that dress?" 

"I did a little shopping around," GoScully replied, moving even closer
to Skinner so that he could smell the fragrance of her perfume. "I
figured that my  toga simply didn't fit the theme. I take it you
like?" 

"Yes, I like," Skinner replied as his arms encircled GoScully and
pulled her close. 

Her own arms wrapped around him as his lips sought hers and finding
them, took hold in a deep, passionate kiss that practically drew the
breath out of both of  them. When they broke the kiss, she stepped
back slightly, just enough to see the effect that the contact had upon
him. "My, my," she murmured, reaching up with her hand and knocking
the sailor's cap off Skinner's head, her fingers massaging and
caressing the large, proud, glistening dome. "I can see that you
definitely are in need of a little loving attention, Walter. Such a
long voyage  you're had with no woman to give you what you need." 

Skinner sighed with pleasure at the touch of her fingers upon this
particular erogenous zone. "Aye, it was a long voyage," he agreed.
"And I sorely missed you and your sweet lovin' me beauty!" 

"Now Walter," GoScully leaned up and whispered into his ear,
punctuating her words with soft touches of her lips against the
strong, beautifully molded appendage "I know what kind of life you
sailors lead. Do you honestly expect me  to believe that you've done
without a woman throughout your entire voyage?" 

Skinner's hands softly caressed GoScully's neck and ran down along her
bare shoulders, lightly brushing against the front of her dress. "I'll
not lie to you, there have been others," he told her, bending to lay a
kiss upon soft white skin of her shoulder. "But none of them could
give me what you can." 

GoScully pouted prettily as she ran her own hands down across
Skinner's arms ... his shoulders ... coming to rest upon the hem of
the tight striped shirt. "You're just saying that to make me feel
better," she said, giving the shirt a pull. "You don't really mean
it." 

Skinner took the hint and reluctantly pulled his hands away from
GoScully so that he could remove his shirt, lifting it up and over his
head. Then he pulled  GoScully close again, bending over to nuzzle her
neck, gently nibbling on the soft skin. "I do mean it," he murmured.
"Every woman is special but no one comes close to you, or to making me
feel the way that you make me feel." 

GoScully sighed in his embrace, her head bending and twisting to give
him greater access to her neck ... shoulders ... chest. "Ah Walter ,"
she whispered. "I want to believe that." 

"Believe me," he breathed into her ear, running his tongue along the
outside of  its delicate shell. "It meant the world to me to know that
you were here waiting for me ... my faithful Wench GoScully ...
waiting just for me." 

GoScully pulled back slightly and looked up into Skinner's face,
reaching up with her hand and while she smiled sweetly there was a
gleam of mischief in her  eyes. "Ah Walter," she said softly. "Did I
say that I was faithful?"

There was a crash as the bedroom door flew open. Doggett burst in
wearing his pirate outfit. "Crap!" he said. "Wrong room!"

GoScully looked over at Doggett and a look of sheer panic crossed her
face, 

"John ... wha ...what are you doing here?" she exclaimed. 

"Wait a minute," Doggett exclaimed. "This IS the right room. But ...
GoScully ... what is HE doing here?" and Doggett gestured to Skinner.

Skinner looked from GoScully to Doggett in stunned disbelief. "No,"
he whispered, growing pale. "This doesn't mean ... you don't ..." 

"J-John ... Walter ... oh, this is a terrible mix-up!" GoScully
declared, alternately paling and flushing in turn, her bosom heaving
with repressed emotion. 

"Whaddya mean mix-up?" Doggett declared, his blue eyes now blazing
fiercely as he strode forward and grasped GoScully by the wrist. "You
made a date with me, you know that you did!" 

"You're telling me that you were unfaithful to ME," Skinner shouted.
The fires of white-hot anger burned in his eyes ... his hands
trembled, his face and even  the top of his glorious bald head flushed
as he tried to contain his emotions. "GoScully ... you were unfaithful
to me ... with JOHN DOGGETT?!!!" 

GoScully began to shake nervously. "Walter ... please ... you were
gone for so long," she whispered. "And I just knew you were with other
women ... what on earth could I do?" 

"Yeah, what did you expect a beauty like GoScully to do, anyway?"
Doggett declared. "She's too special and too sexy a gal to waste her
time waiting for you, even if you are some big hot shot surly god with
pecs." 

Doggett slipped her arm around GoScully's waist and pulled her next to
him. That was enough for Skinner. He strode forward and, grabbing
GoScully's wrist, forcibly yanked her from Doggett's grasp, the
strength of his hands causing her  dress to tear. GoScully went
spinning across the room, catching herself by the bedpost, which she
grasped in order to regain her balance. 

Meanwhile, Skinner had gripped Doggett by the collar of his pirate
shirt. "You miserable, skinny little dog-eared punk," he snarled. "You
keep your hands and the rest of yourself away from my woman." 

With those words, Skinner hauled (there's just no other word for it!)
Doggett by the shirt and propelled him to the door. With one swift
movement, he threw the younger man out the door of the bedroom and
into the hall. "The next time I  see you come anywhere near GoScully
I'll whip your ass with the cat o-nine tails and then keel-haul you,"
he shouted before he slammed the door. 

Doggett paused at the head of the stairs to catch his breath and
adjust his clothing before he slipped into his own bedroom and changed
back into his regular clothes. He then went downstairs and wandered
over to where Ta2Betty and TeeJay were sitting sipping Skinneritas and
regaling each other with stories of their last encounters with the
Man. "All finished, John?" TeeJay asked. 

"Mission accomplished," Doggett replied with a wink. 

"Wonderful," Ta2Betty laughed. "I'm sure GoScully will be MOST
appreciative." 

"Sit down here, John." TeeJay suggested, patting the space on the sofa
between herself and TeeJay. "Join us for a Skinnerita, okay?" 

How could Doggett resist such an opportune invitation? Why, the seat
seemed to fairly beckon to him. "My pleasure, ladies," he replied,
settling himself in comfortably and accepting a glass from Ta2Betty's
lovely hand. He raised the glass, "To A.D.Skinner and GoScully ...
hope we got 'em launched just right!" 

Meanwhile, Skinner found himself looking at the back of a trembling
and shaking  GoScully. He was breathing heavily and was sweating from
his exertion. "GoScully ... look at me!" he said in a voice that,
although pitched low was nonetheless filled with raw emotion. 

GoScully slowly turned to face him, her shoulders shaking
uncontrollably, her head bent to the ground. Slowly she raised it and
he saw her lips trembling. Then, all at once, they parted and she let
out the largest peel of laughter he had ever heard. Skinner broke into
a big grin and held out his arms to her, laughing himself. GoScully
ran to him and threw her arms around him, laughing all the while, "Oh
Walter, you were magnificent!" 

Skinner hugged her close to him, her head pressed tightly against his
still heaving, sweaty chest. "I have to tell you that's one of the
best ones that you've ever staged," he declared. "How did you ever get
John Doggett to agree ... I would never have figured he'd be involved
in a game like this." 

"Oh, you'd be amazed at what a well-timed smile and sweetly asked
request will do," GoScully replied, lightly running her fingers up
Skinner's chest and across his shoulders. "That plus the hint that he
would be greatly pleasing one  of his superiors at the FBI by playing
along. You know how ambitious he is." 

"Very true," Skinner agreed, his own hands playing with GoScully's
hair, running down her neck and shoulders. "He'd do just about
anything to get ahead ... as long as it isn't unethical." 

"And this was not unethical at all," GoScully cooed as her fingers
played down along his chest and abdomen, lightly brushing the front of
his pants. She smiled wickedly as she became aware of his reaction and
stepped back to survey her handiwork. "And now that the sailor and his
Wench have quarreled I do think  it's time we made up properly. After
all, we can't let all this passion go to waste." 

"Oh, I most definitely agree," Skinner nodded. 

"In that case, Walter, aren't you getting just a little uncomfortable
in those pants," GoScully asked, batting her eyes at him seductively.

Skinner shifted slightly and a slow, devilish grin spread over his
face. "I will admit that they are feeling just a little restricting,"
he agreed. 

"Well then, why don't you take them off?" GoScully asked. 

"After you, my dear," Skinner replied, stepping forward and in one
swift movement he completed the work he had already started,
completely ripping the dress from her body. GoScully stood proudly
before him dressed only in nature's  own (in a dress as tight as she
was wearing undergarments just weren't going to  work!). He eyed her
hungrily for a moment and then pulled her close to him, his 
mouth seeking hers. Their lips met and they clung together in a long,
drawn out, earth-shattering kiss. 

Naturally, that kiss had the effect of making those tight sailor's
pants the source of considerable discomfort for Skinner. GoScully was
very much aware of this and as her mouth devoured his, her hands were
busy with the belt buckle and the buttons of the pants. By the time
they both needed air, she had worked his pants down over his hips and
he was able to step free of them and kick them  aside. Laughing
eagerly, GoScully gracefully eased herself onto the bed,
pulling Skinner down with her. Still locked in each other's embrace,
they resumed their kiss, their hands busy seeking and finding. Then
GoScully remembered something and broke away. "Wait ..." she gasped.
"I forgot something!" 

"What?" Skinner panted, his chest heaving and his eyes glazed with
passion. 

"This," GoScully replied, reaching for the remote to the CD player
that she had  carefully placed on the bedside table. She pressed the
button and instantly the  room was filled with the sounds of Bobby
Darin's immortal Beyond the Sea. "I brought a special CD filled with
some appropriately nautical mood music." 

"GoScully, you think of everything." Skinner laughed as he pulled
himself up on  top of her and looked down at her smiling face. 

"Let's just say that I try," GoScully replied happily, wrapping her
arms around  his neck and drawing him back down towards her. "Now
where did we leave off?" 

"I think I remember," Skinner replied as once again, his mouth sought
hers and he drank in the warm wine of her soft lips. Soon, they were
lost in a rolling, tossing wave of music, passion and pleasure. 

PART 58

Mulder and Scully walked back into the Doggett house to be greeted by
the sounds of a mournful Monica Reyes singing the immortal "It's My
Party" backed up by Alvin on drums, Langly on keyboard and Mork on
guitar (hey, don't ask me where those extra instruments came from ...
this is an X-Files snarkfic and you  shouldn't expect continuity since
you didn't get that in the original series!).  As she howled the
chorus "I'll cry if I want to, you would cry to if it happened to
you," Mulder and Scully gave each other knowing glances. "What do
you think?" Mulder asked. 

"My guess is that she's still upset about Doggett's little rendezvous
with Poochespup," Scully replied. "After all, he didn't have the same
excuse for his  infidelity that you had for yours." 

"True, Scully," Mulder smirked. "And obviously Agent Reyes doesn't
have your understanding nature, either." 

"I see Agent Doggett over there with those two wenches," Scully
commented, "And  he seems quite comfortable from what I can see." 

Mulder's eyes followed hers to the couch where Doggett was sitting,
happily ensconced between TeeJay and Ta2Betty, talking animatedly with
a big, goofy grin stretching his thin albeit sexy lips. "Oh yeah,"
Mulder replied with a goofy grin of his own. "Hard to believe that's
hard-ass, button-down John Jay Doggett over there." 

"Nobody knows where my Johnny has gone and Poochie left the same
tiiiimmmmeeee," Reyes wailed. "Why was he holding her hand when he's
supposed to be miiiiiiinnnnneeee!" 

"Ouch!" Mulder winced. 

"Well, that was hardly very subtle," Scully commented acerbically. 

"Let's face it, subtlety is NOT Agent Reyes' forte," Mulder commented.

"Well in all honesty subtlety would be lost on Agent Doggett anyway,"
Scully replied wickedly. 

"Hoo, Scully, that was a wicked one," Mulder said admiringly. "I don't
think you've gotten off a one-liner as good as that since before I
left on that little alien vacation of mine." 

"I know," Scully replied wonderingly, "I'm beginning to think that as
I gained weight with the baby I lost brain cells." 

Mulder shrugged as Reyes continued to wail "Poochie and Johnny just
walked through the dooo-ooor, like a Queeeeeeennn with herrrrrr
K-iii-nnng. Oh what a rotten surprise .... Pooochie 's wearin' his
ring." 

"Listen, she's almost done butchering that song," Scully whispered to
Mulder. "Tell you what, when she's finished, I'll take her into the
kitchen for a little girl talk, okay? And then maybe you can have a
word with Agent Doggett over there." 

"Aww, come on Scully," Mulder pouted, sticking his full lower lip out
stubbornly, "I don't wanna do relationship counseling on John-Boy. I
want to go  upstairs and show you that special lesson I learned
earlier." 

Although Scully remained determined her eyes twinkled, "Oh believe me,
we'll get around to that," she told him with a mischievous little
wink. "But they are  our co-workers and we need to give them a hand
since we are the senior, smarter, more knowledgeable agents." 

As Reyes hit another high note Scully and Mulder both winced,
"Besides, could we really enjoy each other listening to that
caterwauling?" Scully asked. 

"Why Scully, you amaze me, you do have a selfish side," Mulder said
admiringly. 

"Remember the old song that goes 'God's wisdom teaches me when I help
others I'm really helping myself,' Mulder." Scully replied. "She's
finishing right now. Let me go get her before she starts another one.
You take care of Agent Doggett." 

"You're on," Mulder replied. "Meet you when we get through with
Relationship Counseling 101." 

Reyes reached for her brandy glass and held it up in salute to her
"back-up" band, "That wash chest great, guys," she slurred. "You guys
are the best ... Lemme see now ... what song should we do next?" 

Just as Reyes was raising her glass to her lips, a feminine hand shot
out and grabbed it from her, "Hey!" Reyes exclaimed, turning around
and finding herself  looking down (hey, she IS taller, y'know) into
Scully's blue eyes. 

"No more for you right know, Agent Reyes," Scully told her, giving the
brandy glass to Alvin (who promptly gulped it down, glass and all!).
"I think it's time for you to take a break." 

"But I don' wanna take a break," Reyes whined pitifully. 

"Yeah, but we do, Monica," Langly told her. "I've been playing for a
couple hours now without a break. My fingers are raw and I need a
bathroom break and a  drink ... in that order!" 

"Come on, Monica," Scully said, grabbing Reyes arm. "Let's give the
band a break and go have a little talk, just you and me." 

"Jus' you an me?" Reyes squeaked, staggering slightly as Scully began
to propel  her forward. 

"Just you and me, Monica," Scully replied reassuringly, steering Reyes
in the direction of the kitchen. 

"Aw ... thash nice," Reyes replied, somewhat shakily, "Jus a li'l girl
talk."  "Uh huh, Monica," Scully answered as they made their way
through the kitchen doors. "Just a little girl talk." 

PART 59

Langly got up from the keyboards, "Uh, I'll be back guys but right now
... uh ..." 

"Down the hall," Alvin said, pointing in the direction of the powder
room. "Oh ...and there's Glade under the sink." 

Langly shot him a grateful look and disappeared down the hall. Alvin
turned to Mork "Well, looks like we have a few minutes to ourselves,
doesn't it." 

"Yeah, it does," Mork replied. "Listen ... Alvin ... we need to talk
privately somewhere." 

"I was thinking the same thing," Alvin replied. "Listen, I scoped this
place out before I got here with the chipmunk army ... this Doggett is
such a neat freak that his attic is in perfect shape. Clean ...
everything in its place ...and there's even a rollaway bed tucked away
up there. We could shoot on up there and no one could find us." 

Mork grinned happily. "Sounds like exactly what I had in mind," he
said, clapping Alvin on his furry shoulder. "Show me the way." 

Meanwhile, Mulder wandered over to the couch where Doggett was sitting
with one  arm around TeeJay and his other hand resting on Ta2Betty's
knee. "So as I was saying, there was Agent Scully with this huge
slug-thing crawling up her spine pleading with me to cut the damn
thing out," Doggett was relating enthusiastically. "We had this group
of mad cult followers banging on the bus door when ..." 

"Uh, excuse me ladies ... Agent Doggett ..." Mulder interrupted. 

"Ah, Agent Mulder, delighted that you are joining us," TeeJay said
graciously. 

"Hey there, Mulder, I was just telling the ladies about some of those
damn strange X-Files cases I worked with Agent Scully," Doggett
exclaimed. "Did she ever tell you about the time she ditched me and I
had to save her from this slug-worshipping cult." 

"No, you did ... about 20 times," Mulder replied. "Most recently last
week in Delancey's Bar." 

"Well I've had to sit through your re-telling of how you saved Agent
Scully and  saw that bleeping alien ship in the Antarctic at least
that many times," Doggett replied. 

"It sounds as though your work is quite adventurous," Ta2Betty said
with a smile as she carefully removed Doggett's hand from her knee. 

"Yes it is," Mulder answered. "Uh ... I hate to interrupt but I need a
few minutes alone with Agent Doggett." 

"Oh, that's quite all right," both wenches replied in unison. "We
understand completely." 

"Uh, John ... why don't we step out into the garage," Mulder said as
he hauled Doggett to his feet. "There's something important I need to
discuss with you."   As the two men headed out of the living room,
Ta2Betty turned to TeeJay, "What do you think that was all about?" 

"How the bleep should I know?" TeeJay replied, and both Wenches
dissolved into helpless laughter. 

PART 60

Scully propelled Reyes into the kitchen and pushed her into one of the
kitchen chairs. "Okay, Monica," she said sternly. "Just what do you
think you're doing out there?" 

"I dunno wha' you mean," Reyes slurred. 

"Oh yes you do," Scully replied, sitting down in the chair next to
her. "What's  with all this drinking and singing and all that stuff."

"I'm jus' havin' a lil fun!" Reyes replied, "Affer all ... evvybody
else is." 

"You don't look like you're having too much fun to me," Scully told
her, "Come on Monica, open up. It's about John Doggett, isn't it?" 

Reyes looked at Scully and saw the sympathy and compassion in those
blue eyes.   Reyes' dark eyes began to well up with tears. Her lower
lip trembled, "Oh Dana," she finally burst out. "I dunno wha' to do,"
and she put her head down on the table and began to sob loudly. 

Scully patted Reyes softly on the shoulder. "I know, Monica," she said
slowly. "It really bothered you seeing him with Poochespup, didn't
it?" 

"Of course it did," Reyes sobbed. "I mean .. I know I'm suppose ta
believe in free luv and I do ... honest I do ..." 

"I know you do, Monica," Scully said softly, remembering the previous
weekend with Reyes and Skinner. 

"I know you know," Reyes cried. "N normally it wouldn't bother me to
see John with someone else ... but ... but ..." 

"But what?" Scully queried. 

"But he left my bed and jumped right into the kip with her," Reyes
wailed. She lifted her tear-stained face and Scully could see the pain
and humiliation in her eyes. "She took him away from me!" and with a
loud sob she threw herself into Scully's arms. 

Now while Scully was very comfortable with weeping and turning on the
waterworks and throwing herself into Mulder's arms in tearful fits,
she was not  terribly fond of others doing the same to her. However,
this was a fellow agent  and her best friend (okay, her only friend)
so she did what she knew was expected of her. She allowed her arms to
encircle Reyes (loosely) and rolled her eyes as Reyes sobbed onto her
shoulder, gently patting her back. "I know, Monica," Scully said in as
comforting a voice as she could muster. "I know it's  hard to watch
someone you love turning to someone else." 

Reyes hiccupped briefly, "Love," she sobbed. "Who said anything about
love?  What's love got to do with it?" 

As Reyes continued to sniffle against her shoulder, Scully began to
sing "You'll Never Walk Alone" very softly.

Reyes winced slightly as the sound of Scully's voice reached her ears.
Her wince became even more noticeable as Scully continued the song and
tried to hit  the high note, her voice becoming unbearably shrill.
Reyes pulled back from Scully's slack embrace, "Uh ... Dana ..." 

"Yes, Monica," Scully asked softly. 

"I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you're making the Jerry
Lewis version of that song sound like a masterpiece." 

Scully stopped singing and her face instantly became the face she
always showed  to the world ... cold, reserved, the Ice Queen. "I was
only trying to help, Agent Reyes," she said icily. 

"Oh, I know Dana," Reyes replied, tears returning to her eyes. "It's
just that you're much better listening and counseling than you are
singing." 

"Any way, we were talking about how hard it is to watch someone you
love turn to someone else," Scully said coldly. "And you said ..." 

"I said what's love got to do with it," Reyes repeated. "Dana, you
don't understand. I don't love John Doggett." 

Scully's eyes widened with astonishment. "You don't?" 

"Of course not," Reyes replied. "How could I possibly be in love with
him? I mean, apart from the age difference he's such a narrow-minded,
unimaginative, straight arrow of a guy. He knows nothing about
feelings and intuitions and psychic phenomena and he's downright
boring." 

"I don't understand then, Monica," Scully's face was a mask of
puzzlement. "You've always seemed attracted to him." 

"Physically yes," Reyes replied. "After all, he IS a fine-looking man.
And when  it comes to action in the bedroom ... well ... he does know
how to satisfy a woman." 

Scully couldn't help but notice Reyes slight smile at those remarks
and filed them away for future reference. After all, she was not
immune to the charms of Doggett's blue eyes, his well-put together
physique or the nice, tight butt she  had seen through the back of his
hospital gown back when they had first started  working together. If
Mulder's recent claims of a cure in the "quick draw" department proved
to be premature, Doggett might be able to provide her with
more than adequate relief. Still, now was not the time to dwell on
such matters. "Monica, if you're not in love with him then why are you
so upset?" 

"Why am I so upset," Reyes echoed. "Come on, Dana. I'm not an Ice
Queen like you, content to get laid once in a blue moon. I'm a
healthy, happy sexually active woman. And I take great pride in being
sexually attractive and damn near  irresistible to all of the men I've
come in contact with. I've always been able  to get ... and keep ...
any man I want. And now in one short evening two of MY men ... John
Doggett and Brad Follmer ... are ignoring ME and making out with
other women. Can you imagine what that's doing to my pride?" 

"I have to admit I hadn't thought of it that way," Scully said as she
allowed her mind to take in the possibilities (namely, that Monica
Reyes was an FBI slut). "But you know, Monica, you aren't helping
things with your behavior. You're making everyone think that you are
brokenhearted because you love Agent Doggett. Getting drunk and
singing torch songs is no way to salvage your pride." 

Reyes thought about what Scully was saying for a moment, the effort it
was taking to follow Scully's logic causing her brow to furrow and
beads of sweat to pop out on her forehead. "I never thought of that,"
she whispered. "I've made a real fool of myself, haven't I?" 

"You certainly have," Scully replied coolly. "Instead of weeping and
wailing you need to show a little backbone ... get a little kick-ass."

"B...bbbut how?" Reyes asked in the shrill tone of a demanding child.

"There's a room full of men out there," Scully replied. "You can show
Agent Doggett and everybody else that it doesn't matter to you if he's
with someone else because you can have any man you want." 

Reyes hiccupped again and dabbed at her wet eyes with a napkin. "I
never thought of that," she whispered. 

"Sure ... take you pick," Scully continued. "There's a bunch of cabana
boys out  there ... the Gunmen ... the Smoking Man." 

"Uh ... no way Dana," Reyes interrupted her. "I believe in free love,
but I don't do walking corpses." 

"Well, I'm glad to see you have SOME standards," Scully snarked. 

"Of course I do," Reyes replied. "Despite what you might think I'm not
a TOTAL slut." 

"I never said anything about your morals," Scully retorted. 

"Anyway, I think you're right, Dana." Reyes said, her eyes beginning
to sparkle  and the faint trace of a smile beginning to curve her
lips. "I have been doing this the wrong way. There's a roomful of men
out there and I should go ahead and show them and John and the world
that Monica Reyes IS the sexiest FBI agent  in the city." 

You're the second or third sexiest sweetie, Scully thought to herself.
Agent Fowley thinks she is but everyone knows that the only FBI
Goddess around here is ME. However, she arranged her features into an
expression of approbation of Reyes' change in attitude. "Exactly,
Monica," she said approvingly, leaning forward and patting her hand.
"Go out there and show them all what you're made of." 

"Thank you so much, Dana," Reyes said gratefully. 

Scully smiled softly, causing Reyes to stop for a moment. "Dana ..." 

"What is it, Monica?" Scully asked, lifting one eyebrow quizzically. 

"I know this may sound strange," Reyes said hesitantly, "But you look
especially beautiful right now." 

Scully's eyes met Reyes' for a moment and read the open invitation in
them. She  was also aware that Reyes fingers had twined themselves
around her hand. Scully  quickly pulled her hand away and stood up
abruptly. "Agent Reyes, let's rejoin the others, shall we?" 

Reyes shrugged, "You go on out there, Dana," she told her. "I want to
visit the  powder room for a minute and freshen up. It's time for me
to get ready to go on  a manhunt." 

Then Reyes looked over Scully's shoulder and saw Frohike standing in
the entrance to the kitchen. 

"How long have you been there?" Reyes demanded. Scully, startled,
turned to face Frohike as well. Her blue eyes were huge. 

"I just got here," said Frohike, drawing himself up to his full height
of five feet. "I came to tell you that the neighbors called. They said
if you didn't stop singing, they were going to call the police. That
caterwauling is making their dogs howl. Can't say I blame 'em." 

"Melvin, Agent Reyes and I weren't--" Scully began. 

"Hey, it's none of my business," said Frohike. "They've tried
everything else on this show. Carry on." He turned to leave. 

"They're gonna call the police?" Reyes snapped. "We ARE the police!
Just wait till I get my cell phone!" 

"I'd be more worried about them calling PETA if I were you," Frohike
said. 

PART 61

"Ouch! Damn it, Doggett!" Mulder exclaimed in the darkness. "I can't
see a thing in here." 

"Well damn it yourself Mulder, what do you expect?" Doggett's voice
cut through  the air sharply. "This is a garage after all and ya'
didn't give me a chance to  grab a flashlight. Hang on just a minute."

There were the sounds of fumbling in the darkness and then a clicking
sound and  the over head light snapped on. "There," Doggett said with
satisfaction. "Now what was so important that you had to drag me out
here." 

Mulder was ruefully rubbing his knee, which had made rather violent
contact with Doggett's John Deere in the darkness. "I wanted to talk
to you about Agent  Reyes," Mulder replied. 

"About Monica?" Doggett questioned, raising his eyebrow. "Why?" 

"Look, I realize that you've been busy with some of the other women so
perhaps it's escaped your notice that she's been acting a bit
strangely," Mulder said, giving his knee a final rub. 

"With Monica how can you tell?" Doggett asked. 

Mulder shrugged. "Good point. I'll admit that Agent Reyes' behavior
can be a bit ... unorthodox ... at times," he answered, seating
himself on the comfortable seat of the John Deere mower (and looking
thoroughly out of place on it!). "Still, I think that singing torch
songs and tossing down a lot of brandy may be a bit out of character
even for her." 

Doggett nodded and leaned against his impossibly neat workbench.
"Well, not the  drinking part. I've seen Monica slurp up a few Long
Island Iced Teas on more than one occasion," he commented. "But I'll
admit that singing golden oldies isn't typical. She's more into whale
songs and New Age chants." 

"So you see what I mean," Mulder replied, resting his hands lightly on
the wheel of the power mower. "This is not normal behavior for her.
And I notice it  started when you made some time with that wench
Poochespup." 

"Now hold it right there, Mulder," Doggett growled, his eyes
narrowing. "You certainly disappeared pretty damn fast with that
Mausie ... and you were sporting a certain something that you didn't
have in evidence when you returned  so don't you go moral on me about
Poochespup." 

"Hey, time out, Big John," Mulder exclaimed, holding his hands up in a
gesture of appeasement. "I'm not judging you ... Poochespup is one
attractive woman and  she certainly had her eye on you. I don't blame
you for spending some time with  her. And as you pointed out, I did
catch a little fouf time with Mausie." 

"So you see what I mean," Doggett replied, slightly mollified by
Mulder's words. "So what's this all about?" 

"Look, Doggett, even though I had a little extracurricular activity
with Mausie  I went right back to Scully when I was through," Mulder
answered. "But you've been paying attention to everyone except Monica.
What's up with that?"  Doggett  picked up a screwdriver from the
workbench and fumbled with it uncomfortably, fixing his eyes upon it
intently. "You went back to Scully because you love her, right?" he
asked. 

"Right," Mulder replied. "I didn't want her to think or feel
otherwise. And that is what you should have done with Monica." 

"No, it's not," Doggett murmured. 

"I don't get this, Doggett," Mulder said, his face showing his
confusion. "If you love her ..."   "Jesus Christ, Mulder for someone
who's such a hotshot genius investigator you sure are slow on the
uptake." Doggett exploded. "Let me  spell it out for you ... I DO NOT
LOVE MONICA REYES!" 

Mulder paused for a moment, his mouth open in astonishment at
Doggett's revelation. "But ... I thought ..." he began. 

"Listen Mulder, just because you fall like a ton of bricks for all of
your partners doesn't mean that EVERY agent does the same thing,"
Doggett shot at him. 

"Where did THAT come from?" Mulder asked quickly. 

"Aw, c'mon Mulder," Doggett sneered. "I TOLD you I read all the files
... including your little secret notes. I know about Phoebe Green ...
about Diana Fowley ..." 

"Okay, okay," Mulder interrupted hastily. "I guess there is a bit of a
pattern there. But what I'm feeling for Scully goes way beyond any of
that." 

"Yeah, I know that," Doggett replied. "I could see that when we were
at the hospital before the kid was born. Just like I know she's crazy
about you. I may  not say much, but I see a hell of a lot." 

"But I thought you felt the same way about Monica," Mulder said, his
eyes wide with confusion. 

Doggett shook his head, "Nah ... and I never did. Monica and I are
friends but that's as far as it goes. I care about her, sure! But I
could never be in love with her. We're just too different." 

"I ... uh ... I guess I'm surprised about this," Mulder dismounted
from the power mower and walked over to the workbench where Doggett
stood. "I really thought you two had something going there." 

"Depends on what you mean by something," Doggett replied. "Look, we
work well together when we're not at each other's throats over her
weird theories. We're friends who share a history. And when we're in
the mood, we make love together.  That's our relationship." 

"Wait a minute," Mulder exclaimed, "Are you telling me that you have
sex with Monica Reyes." 

Doggett moved away from the work bench and picked up a baseball,
tossing it into the air and catching it as it came down. "Sure," he
replied nonchalantly. "Not all the time and not exclusively ... just
when we're in the mood for it. After all, having sex with someone you
know is a good way to avoid all those nasty STDs going around." 

Mulder's jaw clenched and his eyes began to blaze with anger. "I do
not believe  I am hearing this," he said in his usual totally
uncharged monotone. "You make love to her when you aren't in love with
her? Decent honorable John Doggett is using a woman for a sex toy?" 

"Sure, what's the big deal, Mulder?" Doggett was honestly puzzled by
his reaction. "We're normal, healthy adults. Monica is attractive plus
she's a wild  woman in the bedroom. And I get no complaints from her
or from anybody else about my ability to provide satisfaction." 

"You are using a woman who loves you, John," Mulder exclaimed in a
slightly raised voice. "You don't see anything wrong with that?" 

Doggett grinned and then burst into laughter, "Holy crap, Mulder, so
THAT's what's bothering you," he whooped. "Let me let you in on a
little secret ... Monica Reyes is not in love with me, anymore than
I'm in love with her. Hell, besides me she's been doing Brad Follmer,
Charlie Scully, the Polish sausage vendor on M Street ..." 

Mulder's jaw dropped and he sat back down on the John Deere, suddenly
feeling very foolish. "You're kidding," he muttered. "Then what was
all that about in there?" 

"Dollars to doughnuts her pride took a bruising," Doggett replied and
for the first time he did look a little shame-faced. "Truth is she's
kinda got a right.  I did make time with Poochespup right after we'd
made it. And I wasn't paying her any attention. Monica likes attention
... that's why she pulls some of those dumb stunts like singing whale
songs or popping out with weird theories in the middle of staff
meetings." 

"Or wearing tight leather outfits," Mulder chimed in. 

"Right," Doggett agreed, tossing the baseball into a milk crate. "I
suppose I should go back inside and give her a little attention. After
all, she did save me from a life as a giant chipmunk." 

"Good idea, John," Mulder said approvingly. "Uh ... hey, before we go
can I ask  a favor?" 

"Whaddya need?" Doggett asked. 

(Continued in part 8)