From: Thalia D'Muse Date: Tue, 14 Apr 1998 07:13:32 -0700 Subject: NEW: Amaranth (1/1) by Thalia D'Muse ************************** AMARANTH by Thalia D'Muse Completed: April 1998 ************************** Archive: Yes to Gossamer; everyone else, please ask me first. Summary: Things are not always as they seem. Told from the point of view of Mr. X. Classification: V Rating: R (for language with a serious attitude ;-) Timeline: Takes place during Mr. X's final scene in Herrenvolk. Spoilers: Major spoilers for Herrenvolk, Patient X, The Red and The Black; minor spoilers for 3, Anasazi, Unusual Suspects, Travelers Disclaimer: Any characters you recognize from the XF universe aren't mine. CC, 1013 and Fox own them. Author's Notes: At the end. Feedback: Always welcome at thalia@goodnet.com. ********************** AMARANTH by Thalia D'Muse ********************** Damn fool. What did I keep telling you, Mulder? 'There are some truths better left buried.' 'There are some avenues you don't want to explore.' So what do you do? You go off like some big movie action hero, off to save the world from the big, bad gov'ment men. You just can't leave well enough alone, can you, Mulder? Well, thanks a lot, asshole. Thanks to you, *I* have to give up my freedom. *I* have to give up my position, one that I've worked my ass off for. I have to pull off this ridiculous charade, lose my identity and my life, before I'm done with my work. I should put a bullet in your head right now, but they'd kill me for sure. 'Don't kill Mulder, never kill Mulder.' They'd kill one of Their own before They'd kill you. Who the fuck gives you the right? Who the fuck decided you were the sacred lamb, never to be sacrificed? Whoever decided this, I'd like to shake his hand. Then I'd like to blow his fucking head off. Wasn't the smoking guy, I know that. He's just as much a pawn as I am, only he's been at it longer. They give him only as much power as They want, when it suits Their purpose. He knows who's behind you, who thinks you're so special that your shit don't stink, but he won't talk. Man's tighter than a hemmoroidal asshole. I'd like to think you slept your way into your 'prestigious' position, Mulder, but I know it's not true. This goes way back, back before you even knew what that thing between your legs was for. This goes back before either you or I was born. You ain't *that* special, you know. Yeah, you a pretty boy, but good looks don't get you nowhere. I know you were brought into this when you were born but They should have seen it. They should have seen you had a good head on your shoulders. You had a brain and you were paranoid. Bad combination for Them, bad combination for you. I've learned that sometimes it pays to play stupid in this world, especially our world. Yeah, you and I live in a different world, Mulder. One where the only difference between a truth and a lie is whose side you're on. There's only one side I'm on now. Mine. Everything's been put into motion, sooner than anyone could've anticipated. They projected it would take years, 'til you and I were old men, before the final phase would be initiated. They were wrong. Dead wrong. The deals made are falling through, not that there were any real deals in the first place. With Them, there are no deals. No rules. Only acceptance. They know about the resistance group. They know that it's started up but They don't know where it is or who's in charge. I hope the resistance gets their shit together soon. If they don't, we're all fucked. Everyone on this planet is gonna wish they were never born. Everyone is gonna wish for death. That's our saving grace, that we can die. And my time is near. I know They're planning to off me, can tell every time I walk into a room with one of Them in it. I thought it would blow over, that Their suspicions would turn to another, but no, you go and stick your big nose in where it don't belong, and all the fingers are pointing to me. So now I gotta get out while the getting's good. But I'm not done with my work. I still have more to do, more to find out about what Their plans are. So I have to go underground. Way underground. I gotta go so deep the sewers are gonna seem like the penthouse on a hundred-story building. Don't think I won't be keeping an eye on you, Mulder. You still my tool. I'm still gonna use you to my benefit. I got work to do and you gonna help me with the dirty work whether you know it or not. I may be going underground but not all of my avenues are cut off. And I know you, Mulder. I know how to get to you. I know what to do to bring you to your knees. I know all about you. I know that in 1989 you met those three freaks you call friends. I almost blew the bearded one's head off. Would've given me great satisfaction to do it but somehow I knew they would be instrumental later. I have a sense about these things. That sense is the only thing that's kept me alive. I also know that in 1990, you learned about your father being involved in the inter-species experiments in the 50s. I know everything about your old man, Mulder. I even know who really killed him. And I know about a certain self-proclaimed vampire you had an up-close-and-personal encounter with back in 1994. And between mid-1992 and today, your 'video entertainment' collection has grown from ten pornos to twenty-four. And I know most of the videos you bought in those four years have one thing in common: a short redhead with pouty lips and big tits. What would you do if she ever found out? Whoo, I'd love to have a front-row seat for that one! I've seen Agent Scully kick some serious ass but that'd be nothing compared to what she'd do to you if she knew you got your rocks off watching her likeness getting rammed from all angles. See, Mulder. I know you. And so do They. Why do you think They took her? Why do you think They gave her back to you? They knew what she meant to you, what she still means to you. And They know how much you mean to her. For being brilliant, you can be denser than a Brazilian rain forest. You could have her if you'd just pull your head out of your ass. You two could be making the double-backed monster if you had the balls to tell her. But you don't, and They know it. They know it and They'll continue to use it against you. They ain't done with her, you know. They ain't done with you, either. Man, these blood packs are a pain. This damn tape itches like a bitch. I never knew faking your own death could be so much work. Having my own blood drawn, placed in sterile packs, securely taped to my body so it is *my* blood They find on the floor. The shooter will be one of my guys, and the whole scene will play out for no one in particular but has to be done because you never know who's watching. You'll find me but before you can do anything, my body will be removed. Knowing you, Mulder, my guys will have to knock you out to get my body out of there. My blood and my mysterious clue will be all that remains. A mysterious clue and a mysterious good-bye from the mysterious Mr. X. Ain't that just fucking poetic, Mulder? This dramatic exit scene bullshit is not my style but I'm gonna do it anyway. I just wanted to fade into the woodwork, but I knew that everyone, and I mean *everyone*, has to believe I bit the big one. This is more for Their benefit than yours. You know why? 'Cause you too easy, Mulder. You don't need convincing. You see what you want to see. You see conspiracies because you want to believe they exist. You see aliens because you want to believe they exist. Mulder, believe me, you gonna wish you never believed in alien life. You gonna be sorry They ever let you open the X-Files. You have no idea what you're up against, boy. No idea. Being the wonderful, caring saint I am, I'm not leaving you alone in this world. Someone will be contacting you soon, if you don't figure out my clue on your own. That someone will be my successor. I chose my successor very carefully. She will take my place as your informant, but she's my tool, too. She serves *my* purpose, not yours. She'll help you find what I need to know while making sure you don't up and get yourself blown to bits. Why I'm even bothering protecting you, I don't know. Maybe 'cause like me so many years ago, you were sucked into this web like some hapless fly, too naive to see it's a trap before it's too late. Or maybe 'cause I know if anyone can get me the answers I need, it's you. You want to know what They're doing as much as I do. You want answers and you'll do anything to get them. Like I said, Mulder, I know everything about you. So will my lovely assistant. She's a piece, that's for sure. Beautiful but deadly, like a black widow spider. Don't piss her off or she'll eat you alive. She may look pretty but she's a vicious, mysterious bitch. Yeah, my kinda woman. If you listen to *anything* she tells you, Mulder, you listen to what she says when you first meet with her. She's gonna tell you something that will save your bony white ass when all Hell breaks loose and the people protecting you and your family's name are destroyed. These words won't mean much now but in the future, the *near* future, they will mean the world. They are the truth, probably the only whole truth you've ever been told. Believe these three words, Mulder. Not everything dies. THE END ************************** Author's Notes: This story came about after comments made by Steven Williams at the LA Expo about his character, and about Mulder and Scully's relationship. (Yes, "making the double-backed monster" were Mr. Williams' exact words. ;-) What he said intrigued me and I couldn't resist exploring it. I make some wild speculations about what roles Mr. X, Mulder and CSM play in the Consortium game. This may or may not be true, based on the events of The Red and The Black. Who knows, maybe something like this *is* true and Mr. X will be back. One can only hope. Big thanks to Charli for her beta reading and continued support, and to a wonderful group of ladies whose comments gave me the courage to post this. Feedback, anyone? Please send it to thalia@goodnet.com. Thanks for reading!