Date: Thu, 22 Oct 1998 01:43:19 -0000
Reply-To: Scyzygy@aol.com
Subject: Amor Eterno (eternal Love)

Title: Amor Eterno (eternal Love...sounds corny in English!)
Author and e-mail: L.P. Mejia, Scyzygy@aol.com
Rating: PG, one "bad" word
Classification: MSR
Archive: anywhere but let me know
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters--they belong to CC
and 1013 Prod...but he can hire me anytime!
Spoilers: The End, not really
Author's note:  I was inspired by reading everyone's
wonderful work.  I have not read everyone's so if I steal
from anyone it is purely an X-File telepathy connection, so
let me know.  I love synergy and syzygy! All deconstructive
and constructive criticism send to me...PLEASE!!!
Summary: Mulder learns the truth is out there!  WARNING:
Character Death!

   The sudden shrill of the phone woke Mulder with a jolt.
he had just closed his eyes for what seemed like a minute.
He found the phone somewhere under his body.
"Uh, hello, " he muttered.
"You have to come back now.  I think this is it."
He knew what that meant .  Grabbing his jacket and keys off
the floor, he rushed out the door.
   The hospital looked and smelled the same as when he left
it.  Looking at his watch he realized he had only been gone
for two hours.
   He stopped short at the door of Scully's room.  He could
hear her mother's muffleed sobs; slow and steady.  She was
leaning against Scully's brother's chest.  He looked up and
gave Mulder a look that was pure evil.  Mrs. Scully looked
up and gave him a look that was pure love.
   "Come on in.  She's waiting for you.  Let's go son, they
need to be alone. I already said goodbye."  She quietly led
the evil glare out the room and shut the door behind her.
   He took Scully's hand and stared at her.  He realized
that he must speak noe or forever would hold his peace.
   "I knew a long time that I loved you.  I feel outr love
transcends the physical, it goes down to our souls.  In past
lives someone else complteted me, but in this lifetime you
made me whole.  Fear made me keep my distance.  I was afraid
that if I took from you what makes me whole you would become
empty. I love you.  I want you to stay and share your life
with me.  Fight with me and share everything that I have.  I
want to make YOU whole."
   he kissed her hand and allowed his emotions to flow.  She
halfed opened her eyes; those crisp blue pools that were now
filled with an inner peace he had never seen.  Their eyes
met like so many times before.  She smiled weakly, nodded
slowly, took a deep breath and died.
     She had been off the machines as she had always
requested.  Her spirit was free to go as Mulder sat in
silence.  He reached and kissed her softly on the lips.
They were still warm.  he wanted to take that warmth with
him.
     Outside the room Mrs. Scully caught his eyes. All he
could do was nod as he fell into her arms.
     There was nothing to watch on TV, hadn'y beeen for the
last  4 days that he had remained trapped in his apartment.
He was given as many days as he wanted for bereavement.
"How about forever", he thought to himself.  A soft knock
broke his reverie.  He took a few seconds to decide whether
it was worth opening the door.  he knew it wouldn't be her.
     A recognizable voice called from the other side of the
door.  On the other side stood Mrs. Scully.  She had helped
him the last time he lost Scully.
    "May I come ?"  She had asked as she made her way
through the door.  It was not really a question he figured.
     "Yeah, sure." He moved away  and went to open the
window.  The sudden brightness hurt his eyes.
    The light allowed Mrs. Scully to see that he had not
shaved and probably not bathed for a couple of days.  The
apartment had a musty and closed odor to it.
   He turned off the sound on the TV, but not the picture.
Mrs. Scully sat on the armchair.  Seeing her there reminded
Mulder of the many times Scully herself had helped him from
that chair.
     "Fox," she always called him by his first name and he
did nothing to stop her.  he like the way it sounded from
her.  It was gentle.
     "I came to see how you were holding up.  I haven't seen
or heard from you since the funeral.  Are you eating?
Sleeping?"
     "Yeah, I guess--but I've never really had a pattern for
either." She took his hand and placed something into it.
"Dane would have wanted you to have this.  I know that it
doesn't hold much on the way of religion, but take it as a
symbol of Dana's faith in you.  You don't have to blame
yourself.  No one does.  She never did.  Somethings just
have to happen.  God has his reasons."
     He didn't want to get into it with her on what an
irrational God would allow someone like Scully to die; and
allow someone like him to live.  All he could say through
his rage was, "Thank you, I will keep it with me always."
     An awkward silence fell over them.
"When are you planning to clean her desk at the office?" "I
haven't thought that far yet.  I don't know if I can bare
walking into the office and not see her pressing her nose
into the paperwork."
"You know she was so happy when you were moved to that new
office after the fire.  She came to see me and the first she
said was, 'I have my own desk!' She was so thrilled." Mulder
smiled as he remembered how much joy that brought her.
"I'm cleaning her apartment tomorrow.  If you would like to
come , it would help me out.  And it might help you too.
There are somethings I want you to have...things I have no
use for.
"I'll come.  What time are you planning to go?"
"Anytime you want to come over is fine."
"See you tomorrow then>"
     The next morning Mulder was up bright and early,
although he ahd not slept most of the night.  he was too
anxious and nervous about getting to her apartment.  It
would make her absence much more striking.
    Remembering the charm, he looked over to the wall where
he ahd hung it. He ran his fingers over it.  A quiet
reminder that she was indeed gone.
     He appeared at Scully's apartment before Ms. Scully.
Her key was still on his key chain, so let himsefl in.  The
apartment was immaculate.  Just like she had always kept it.
he walked into the bedroom.  The bed was still unmade.
Flashbacks of that chaotic day bolted through his mind.  She
had been late for work.  When she had not answered neither
her home nor her cell phone he knew something was wrong.  He
found her passed out on the floor.  Blood was everywhere.
Her nose had bled profusely and she had lost consciousness.
The cancer had returned. Methodically he began to pick up
the blankets and make the bed.  Running his fingers over the
dry brown spots, he realized it was his last link to her.
    The door opened softly.  He went to meet Ms. Scully.
"Morning Fox."
"I got here early but I haven't done anything yet."
"That's fine.  I brought some boxes; help me bring them in."
     Slowly they took apart all the articles that Scully had
meticulously displayed .  Each one a reminder of the person
she had been.
"Feel free to take anything you like, Fox.  I couldn't
possibly put everything in storage."
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Probably give most of it away to the parich charity.  I'll
keep a few of the more precious things; some photos, her
favorite dress."
"I'd like to take her CD's.  She was an ecclectic listener."
Ms. Scully left the writing desk for last.
"Fox I'd like to go over her desk...alone.  I want to be
with her thoughts...you can understand my selfishness?"
"Sure.  Fine.  I'll load these last boxes onto you car."
"Did you find anything else you would like you keep?"
"Yeah I found a key chain I gave her for her birthday once."
"Don't forget to leave her keys, I mean, the apartment
keys."
He handed them to her and walked out the door.
    Driving around did not help him clear his mind.  There
were  a few bars on his path but he did not feel like
drinking.  That would not have made Scully happy.  So
instead he took one of her CD's  and popped it in.  He drove
around until ended.
    The next day he decide to go to the office and finally
do the dreaded dirty work of removing her things.  Skinner
came in suddenly and without knocking.
"I saw the light  and wanted to see who was in here."
"I came in...to um...clean out some...stuff."
"You know if you need time...well you know you can take it."
Skinner looked at the floor , then said "She's, um...really
gone isn't she?"
"Yes Sir."
With that Skinner walked the door.  And Mulder began his
task.  Afterall she really was gone.
     He was falling asleep when the doorbell rang.  He
quickly answered it. Ms. Scully was there again.
"I found this in her desk.  I have not read it, but I think
by the date on the envelope she wrote it the last time she
was in the hospital.  Please read it."
She gave him the letter and left.
   He tore it open and began consuming the words crawled
across in the fancy stationery:
   "Dear Mulder,
  After I gave on the idea of writing you those ridiculous
diary entries , I thought I'd be more direct.  Which is why
I now put this forth to you.   I have over the years
developed more than feelings of frienship for you.  I think
it's your convictions , your dedication and all the strength
you give me.  I can't expalin it myself, but everytime I
amin your arms I never want to let go.  I feel safe , even
when the worl is literally falling apart around us.  But I
also like those time when you are like a child an I am the
rock that holds us together.  At these times I feel Like I
can go through hell and back just to keep you together.
  I don't like when we argue, but sometimes you can be a
real pain in the ass! But it just makes me love you ore.
Yes Fox Mulder, I LOVE YOU.  I wish I could make the
cautious side of me scream it at you when you are being a
jerk, but I know I we can not ruin what we have. I don't
know if I will actaully give you this letter.  But I feel
better expressing my feelings and making myself face what I
truly feel.
love,
Scully
Thinking back to the day she died, he realized that she ahd
smiled.  She had smiled because she had heard him.  For one
brief moment she had heard him. His heart did not feel so
heavy, he had let her know and now she was able to let him
know.
Life without Scully would never have the same power, but he
would always have the satisfaction of knowing that he told
her how he felt; and the joy of knowing how she felt too.

Pleas send feedback it's my first try!