From: Heather Mulder Sculder Date: Fri, 5 Nov 1999 23:42:56 -0800 (PST) Subject: Fanfiction submission Source: direct Another Auld Lang Syne By Heather (mulderxphile@yahoo.com) Date: October 28, 1999 Rating: PG Spoilers: Xtremely vague one for Milagro. Timeline: New Year's Eve, 1999 Summary: Sappy Song Fic - Scully talks to Mulder after hearing a song on New Years Eve. Disclaimer: I bow to the Surfer God for letting me play with Moose and Squirrel. I promise to return them unharmed. (Well... Mulder might be a little worn out). The song is an oldie but IMHO goodie from Dan Fogelberg. "....Met my old lover in the grocery store. The snow was falling Christmas Eve. I stole behind her in the frozen foods, and I touched her on her sleeve. She didn't recognize the face at first, but then her eyes flew open wide. She went to hug me and she spilled her purse, and we laughed until we cried. We took her groceries to the check out stand. The food was totaled up and bagged. We stood there lost in our embarrassment as the conversation dragged. We went to have ourselves a drink or two, but couldn't find an open bar. We bought a six pack at the liquor store, and we drank it in her car. We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to now. Tried to reach beyond the emptiness, but neither one knew how. She said she'd married her an architect, who kept her warm and safe and dry. She would have liked to say she loved the man, but she didn't like to lie. I said the years had been a friend to her, and that her eyes were still as blue. But in those eyes, I wasn't sure if I saw doubt or gratitude. She said she'd saw me in the record store, and that I must be doing well. I said the audience was helping me, but the traveling was hell. We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to now. Tried to each beyond the emptiness, but neither one knew how. We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to time, and living in our eloquence, another Auld Lang Syne. The beer was empty and our tongues were tired, and running out of things to say. She gave a kiss to me as I got out and I watched her drive away. Just for a moment, I was back in school, and felt that old familiar pain. And as I turned to make my way back home, the snow turned into rain...." Scully leaned her head back against her seat. She had sat outside Mulder's apartment for at least an hour now, listening to the song over and over and over. It had come on the radio earlier in the day, the last New Year's Eve of the millennium, and some inexplicable forced had commanded her to go buy the CD. The feeling it's words gave her was... spooky. It wasn't even a song she hadn't heard before. Dan Fogelberg had been around for her childhood, he wasn't anything new. But Mulder wasn't of the lite-adult contemporary type. Jimi Hendrix and Elvis Presley were more his type, and that tended to be what she got on their many car rides together. Scully couldn't understand how Mulder could like those two extremes and not have time for some soft rock. But she placidly obliged him and tuned Jimi and Elvis out. She had spent the rest of the day in-between tears, ironic, and tinged with sadness and hope. Heaving a sigh, she decided that she had heard the song enough times to have the words in her head from memory. She opened her door and slid out from behind the wheel, giving one last glance at the dim light coming from one of Mulder's windows. That non-existent bedroom of his. Softly closing the door, she walked up the walkway, drawing her black wool coat around her more. The elevators were faster than normal. Figures, she thought - Mulder being the only one in his apartment complex on New Years Eve. Probably alone. She paused her motion to push the button. Maybe he's not alone. Whatever. I know him better than that. The car reached the fourth floor and she walked slowly down the hallway, giving only a cursory glance at his next door neighbors apartment, now occupied by an elderly couple. Raising her hand, she knocked. Mulder answered the door after a few seconds, a glass of some clear liquid in his hands. "Hitting the Everclear early Mulder?" she joked. He grinned at her. "Water, Scully. Come on in." "Not surprised?" she asked, wandering in. "No. Where else would you be? Hell, where else would I be. It's only the end of a millennium." He expected her to laugh, but instead, she merely looked at him. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." "Oh? What's up Scully?" His eyebrows drew together in worry. "I know it's not your type of music, but I wanted to share a song with you. I guess to some extent, it's always meant something to me. But I rarely hear it, and to be honest, I can't say why, after hearing it today I feel compelled to say something to you, but I.... I want to get this out." He tilted his head a few degrees and placed a gentle hand on her arm as he led her to the couch. Her words had left him rather discombobulated. Scully rarely got flustered. "What is it? What's the song?" "It's called Same Old Auld Lang Syne." He nodded. "Dan something, right?" Scully's eyes widened. He smiled at her. But, "I've heard it", was all he would mysteriously say. "Mulder. When I was in high school... I had friends. I even had one or two guys that I dated. Not many. Wasn't really interested. Even in college, that pretty much stayed the same." "Wait Scully. You're not about to tell me you met some old lover this evening, are you?" Mulder's lame attempt at humor only backfired. "Would you be jealous if I had?" she bluntly returned. He looked down at his hands, shaking his head, not implying a negative answer... only confirming her words with his lack of an answer, "No," she sighed. "I didn't. But many years ago, I felt that that's where my life would be. That I would spent holidays engrossed in work, or a rather empty life brought on by years and years of trying to be the best at what I did. Maybe even be married, and wondering why. That I might one day meet an old lover and that as a result, I'd only feel worse afterwards about the direction my life had gone. That the big difference I had hoped to make would not amount to much at all." "But Scully – we all feel that way at times. Some of us more than others," he grunted ironically. "Please," she whispered. "Let me finish." He nodded. "Strong women... confident women aren't always lucky enough to find someone who values those attributes. I didn't figure I would. And then...." she stopped, looking away from his face, down to his chest. "Then what?" he whispered, reaching out a hand to her chin, lifting it to look at him. "Then I found you. No emptiness – from that moment on. From that first day it seems. For whatever reason, however it happened.... I knew that I'd never feel like those two lovers did. When I engrossed myself in work, it was work with you. Becoming your partner was like giving myself that part that I wasn't sure I could find. You needed me. And I, well, I definitely needed you. I still do. I always will. I know sometimes you think that I spend so much time with you because I feel obligated. Bill pities me. He thinks I do it because I have no one else to spend time with. All your fault of course." Mulder didn't miss the roll of her eyes. "But Mulder. I want to say... I want you to know – that I am with you all the time – because I want to be. I need to be. wherever you are is where I belong. And I couldn't want for anything more than that. I've never regretted the time we've had, or what the future might bring. I'm right where I want to be in my life. Blue eyes melded with green ones. Mulder enfolded her into his arms. "Oh Scully," he breathed into her hair. "I have always needed you. Lord knows, I always will." He buried his face into her hair. She nodded, but before he could pull her tighter, she pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes glistening. "Mulder – you... you do understand what I am trying to tell you, don't you?" "I love you Scully," he shot out. Surprised, she drew back, biting her lip. Her face soon broke out into a smile. "Sorry," he put in sheepishly. "I had to say it first. I have wanted to say that for far longer than you can possibly imagine." "Oh I don't know. I can imagine it. I love you too Mulder." she leaned back into his arms, letting herself sink against him, feeling completely one with him. They stayed that way for what seemed like ages until Mulder looked down at his watch. It read nearing 10:00. "Come on," he said, pulling her up with him. "Where to?" "Well, the fireworks are incredible from the mall I hear. And I'm in the mood to finally show anyone we might come in contact with that we're with each other because we want to be. Because we love each other." "And then we can come back here and show each other the same thing," Scully grinned. 'G-woman – " Mulder smiled, walking her towards the door, his arms still locked around her waist. "I like how you think." "Good. Later on tonight, you can show me what else you like that I do." He grinned, turning off the light and leaned down to whisper in her ear. "Not if I make you show me what you like first." Fini. Maybe. 