From: Elizabeth Gerber Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 06:34:20 GMT Subject: NEW: Another Long One SLASH--R (1/1) Another Long One by Elizabeth Gerber Rating: R (language and themes) Category: SRA Keywords: SLASH M/SK Spoilers: none Summary: Separated from him by a case, Mulder sends Skinner some e-mail. Archive: Ephemeral, Gossamer, Archive/X--yes, please. Others, just ask first. Also found with a bookcover image at my page: http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Chelsea/1334. Feedback: Yes, please, to elixia@mindspring.com Disclaimer: The characters and situations depicted within belong to 1013, Fox and Chris Carter. This story is based on Shawn Colvin's song Another Long One. Lyrics are used without permission. Unbeta'd, but then this is a tired man typing on a laptop. Give him a break. ;) Thanks: To the Requited gals for agreeing that songfic is not anathema. WARNING: This story mentions romance and sexuality between men. Please read something else if that offends you. ^^^^^^^^^ If losing sleep were any indication Of the loving that I've missed I would wrap myself around you But how likely can that be when I feel like this And if life were not unfortunate And reason blew like summer through the trees I would stop to let you catch me But I think that you would find me on my knees ^^^^^^^^^ Date: Thu, 27 May 1999 01:43:34 -0400 To: surlyone@mindspring.com From: M.F. Luder Subject: Another Long One Can you believe I just got back to the hotel? That fucking SAC Watts kept me there until after midnight, running the profile over and over. He won't accept that I'm right, and I know I am, and if we're not lucky another little boy will die tomorrow night. Maybe even this morning. Jesus. There's nothing else I can do tonight. I know, Walt, I know. But it's going to be another long one tonight, no matter. Just me and my . . . good intentions. I want to blame Watts, Scully, the killer, you, I don't know, but I'm thinking, Walt, no one did this to me. No one forced me to do this. I do it because I want to be right. I need to be right. You know me. The last word. I just can't afford to be right anymore. I can't sleep tonight, I can't face the nightmares of those little boys, curled up, almost like they're asleep. Almost. God, it's going to be another long one tonight. You know, I never have the nightmares when we're together. So, losing sleep is my barometer of missing you. I look at the empty side of the bed, at the bags under my eyes in the mirror, and I want to wrap myself around you. Not very likely. Even if you were here, I don't think I could let you touch me. Not when I know what's out there, in the shadows. But if this weren't happening, if we were alone in some beautiful, silent place, I would stop running and let you catch me. Really catch me, for good. The way I am tonight, I think that you would find me on my knees. Shit. I have to tell you, just thinking about you is oddly comforting. But it's dangerous, I know. When I'm home, I can never talk to you like this. I can't . . . be vulnerable. I couldn't take pity from you, Walt. I need you to hold me, and I need you to fuck me, but I can't let you in all the way. Not yet. But tonight, I really want to. The last time I took my head out of my head enough to notice, you were right next to me being-- Being kind, I'd have to call it, in that gruff way of yours. But I don't give you much, do I? And I'm so scared that one day, you'll finally change your mind. God, Walt, I'm exhausted, and I shouldn't write about important things when I'm this tired. I don't know if I should send this. Hell, you should certainly be in bed by now, so if I change my mind I can probably get the guys to delete it from your account or something. No, no, I'll send it. Just, please promise me something. You won't mention this. You won't hold it over my head. Just know, know that I'm trying. That I know what you do for me. That I love you, for more than your ass and your tongue and your expensive mattress. It's going to be another long night tonight, in more ways that one, Walt. Just, write me in the morning, will you? Send me a joke or tell me what you watched on TV last night. Something stupid so I know you understand. I'm going to go take a shower, try to get those kids out of my head. Oh, what I said about being right? Don't you dare tell Scully. Yours, Mulder --------------------------------------------------------- Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com Elizabeth Gerber elixia@mindspringdotcom Please fix the e-mail address to reply. Fanfic--http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Chelsea/1334