From: Michele Connole Date: Wed, 28 Jun 2000 20:27:32 -0700 (PDT) Subject: xfc: NEW: Anticipation (1/1) Source: xfc Title: Anticipation Author: maidenjedi Rating: PG13 Category: MSUST, V, SPOV Spoilers: FTF (small ones) Summary: I can wait forever.... Archive: yup. anywhere. Feedback: texgoddess@yahoo.com Disclaimer: They aren't mine. Imagine my shock and disappointment Author's Notes: Ok, so I shouldn't watch FTF when I'm in such a mood. This goes out directly to the someone who seems to have that power over me. And it goes out double to Erries and Jess, for encouraging me and keeping me motivated. PS...I am not a smut author, though I am sure Scully delves into a little fantasy or to during this story. Use your imaginations. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~* He could talk for hours about it, and I knew I would let him. The flight back to D.C. wouldn't be a short one, and I'd decided that listening to him was what I truly did need. I needed to know I was still breathing, and I needed to be warm. This was as close as I could get to being truly warm. But it was, after all, my little piece of heaven. Watching his lips as he raves about what we have witnessed. This is proof, this is the culmination of five long years of work together (I wonder if he even thinks anymore about the time *before*). But I didn't hear the words, not really. I let my mind wander into other territory, watching his lips move. This was, of course, a new development for me. I have never sat in thrall of this man, with the rare exception of times he would dazzle me with his intelligence. Not that I would ever let on to it. Every so often he would pause in his rave, staring me straight in the eyes, and his voice would hitch as if to question me. He would stop himself, and let his eyes as the question. But I looked down, not wanting to answer him just yet. Did I remember what had nearly happened? Did I still want it to happen? I watched his hands as he gestured his excitement over what we had seen, or rather what he had seen. Such strong hands, ones that guided me into buildings, ones that held me when I was weak enough to admit I needed comfort. Ones that had broken me free of my icy cage. I blushed as more thoughts about those hands overcame me. Finally, it seemed he was done talking, not that I didn't love hearing his voice. He was exhausted though, not having slept while I was gone, and still recovering from... Was that a gun-shot wound? My hands went to his temple, and caressed the still-broken skin I saw there. He shifted and looked down at me, his skin flushed at the thought of my worrying over him. No, that wasn't quite it. Red at the thought of me caressing him. I let my hands drop back into my lap, and offered him a small smile. Then I gave him a lecture, of sorts, hoping it didn't sound as contrived to his ears as it did to mine. His eyes ran over my face, looking for a sign that he had been right. But I gave away nothing, and I felt my heart give a little as the disappointment flooded his eyes. We both stopped talking, and just let the airplane lull us both to sleep. Not an hour had passed when I felt him shift uncomfortably next to me. He was blushing slightly, so slightly that you'd have had to be me to notice. He caught me looking at him inquisitively, but quickly diverted his attention out the window. I let my eyes wander down to his lap. Now it was my turn to blush. The sound of a crying child brought me back to reality, the fantasies that swirled in my head quickly extinguished. There was a time and a place for such things, and this was not the time (though I imagined it would be a good place....) I picked up the in-flight magazine and flipped through it once or twice, hoping he hadn't noticed that I had noticed. He began to talk again, having to clear his throat first. I put the magazine up, knowing I would again be treated to the thrill of watching his lips move, and that I could indulge in this new fantasy without him really noticing. He could go on for hours, and he would. But not this time. I stifled a small yawn just after he did, and we both smiled a little. He reclined his seat just a little, and settled down further into it. And I was suddenly struck with inspiration, and let my head drop to his shoulder. I felt him stiffen a little in surprise, so I lifted my head ever so slightly so as not to put too much pressure on him. But he relaxed, and his hand pressed me back onto his shoulder. I sighed a little at the feel of him, and my eyes drooped. An eternity later, a voice announced the end of the flight, asking us to put our seats upright. I sat up straight, fixing the shirt and slacks he had picked up for me at one of our stops. He yawned awake, and straightened the seat. I watched him become aware of our surroundings. He looked down at me, eyes almost panicking for a brief moment. Would that ever end, his fear that I would be gone when he awakened, his fear that one day, they would win? But he recovered when his eyes found mine, and immediately I could see the question linger once more. Did I remember? This time, I didn't drop my gaze. I met his challenge, let affirmation fill my eyes. He relaxed visibly, finally sated. As the plane shifted and we hit the runway, I held his hand. He looked down at our fingers entwined, and I took advantage of his distraction to kiss his cheek. He turned his head and nodded. This was anticipation. The dance had changed between us, and I was just learning the steps, as was he. Maybe we would have to wait forever for it to be real, but at least we would be waiting together. There would be trials, we had learned, and we wouldn't always have each other to turn to. But in the end, we knew we would. Anticipating that moment was as sweet an opportunity as we needed just then. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~ fin. Again, thanks to a certain someone for serving as inspiration. One or two of these passages are his as much as they are mine. ===== "Ginger had it easy. She had only had to do everything that Fred did, but backwards and in heels."--- anonymous How do you know you're leading a sad life? When a nymphomaniac says "Lets just be friends." http://www.geocities.com/texgoddess (the kiosk) Aries: (March 21--April 19) You will lose all credibility when it is revealed that, contrary to your claims, your life is not based on a true story. (from "The Onion")