From: Josephina Chang Date: Tue, 08 May 2001 22:32:50 -0400 Subject: Apollo 11 by Eisoj5 Source: direct "Apollo 11" by Eisoj5 PG13 for language Classification: Post-ep, V Spoilers: 8th Season, especially "Alone" Keywords: Summary: Doggett, thinking through the past case. Disclaimer: They're not mine, they're not mine, they're not mine, they're not mine! (Although sometimes I wish they were...) "Apollo 11" I suppose really this is all my fault. I should have shut up, taken the transfer and gotten the hell out of the basement. Except then there was Scully, pregnant and about to go on leave, and the X- Files Mulder's legacy would have died. And I had to go and be noble, self-sacrificing. Loyal, really, loyal to someone I was just getting to know and a cause I had no logical reason to support. And now she's ditching me. I got the impression from reading over the files that Mulder took off on his own a lot, leaving Scully behind to do whatever autopsies he needed while he investigated. It appeared to have happened a lot, and I wondered how Scully handled it. I really didn't know exactly what she was doing when I came in and saw her cleaning out the desk. It was *her* desk now, with all her little souvenirs from the past stowed carefully in it. But there she was, taking everything out. Something inside me was suddenly scared. Why was she taking it all away? It was still *her* desk, wasn't it? My desk was over in the corner . . . So I asked if she was coming back and she gave me one of those little half-smiles that didn't really answer anything and walked out the door. She gave me the Apollo medallion, told me "No one gets there alone," and *walked out the door.* Ditching me. Just like Mulder used to ditch her. I didn't handle it all that well. That "I Want to Believe" poster was right in my line of vision and I nearly started laughing hysterically. Me, John Doggett, stuck in the basement office of the FBI Building, working on the X-Files. X-Files I neither understood nor wanted to believe in. I was thoroughly relieved when I heard the female footsteps coming back down the hallway, and I really thought it was Scully coming back to tell me I wasn't going to work on this stuff all by myself, it was all going to be okay after she had the kid and maybe Mulder might get reinstated even though the shit really hit the fan with that oil rig. But it wasn't her, no sir, it was this other agent with a guileless stare and an enthusiasm for the X-Files that almost made me feel like the cynical bastard I probably am. It was pretty weird working the case without Scully. Or even Mulder, although I only did that once or twice after he came back from the dead and before he got kicked out. Sure, Harrison didn't do badly for her first time in the field, but it just wasn't the same. Kinda interesting hearing her ideas from the old cases though. So then we fell in that stupid, goddamn trap. Or, rather, I fell in, she was dragged in there. I have got to stop knocking myself out. It seems like on almost every X-File I investigate, I end up in the hospital. Seriously, I really do know how to watch my back but I guess sometimes . . . I have to admit, it was absolutely terrifying, not being able to see. Especially climbing, when I had to scramble for every hand and foothold, not knowing if there was another ledge to grab onto. I got to the top and actually could see blue sky, but then that bastard showed up. Fortunately, Mulder turned up in the nick of time (I bet Scully sent him to save our asses, the man still doesn't like me all that much) and I managed to kill the thing, which apparently turned out to be the guy who stood on my hand. Or something like that. God, I have to admit those ten seconds when Mulder didn't answer after I fired scared the shit out of me. "Aim at the sound of my voice," he said, but what if I'd misjudged and shot him instead of the creature jumping on him? I heard the panic in my own voice shouting at him because I couldn't see. And I really, really, *really* didn't want to hit him. Scully would've had my head on a plate if I'd barely grazed him. But everything turned out okay in the end, Agent Harrison survived and I survived, but since she doesn't want to stick around anymore (good for her, this'll kill your career, these X-Files) I'm on my own. I left the three agents in the hospital and headed back to the office. It's awfully quiet when you're by yourself down in the basement. I hope Scully comes back. *I* sure as hell can't get there alone. end Author's Note: Since this is my first posting to Gossamer, feedback would be greatly loved but Doggett-bashing will be fed to my dragon :) Send constructive criticism to jscz@umich.edu Thanks for reading, -josie