From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 13 May 2001 08:53:19 -0000
Subject: Aren\'t Babies Fun?! (revamped) by mulderache
Source: direct

Reply To: tgw080160@aol.com


Title: AREN'T BABIES FUN?!
SPOILERS: IF YOU SEE IT AND RECOGNIZE IT THEN IT HAS
HAPPENED.
DISCLAIMER: THEY BELONG TO THE MAN! OR CHRIS CARTER AND 1013
PRODUCTIONS AND MY FAVORITE ACTOR AND ACTRESS ( DAVID AND
GILLIAN).


SPECIAL THANKS: TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT RESPONDED TO MY LAST
STORIES. WE NEED FEEDBACK SOMETIMES AND WHEN ONE IS PREGNANT
THEY NEED IT JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE! AS ALWAYS I NEED TO
THANK MY BETA LINDSAY, SHE IS THE INSPIRATION FOR SO MANY OF
MY STORIES. SHE MAKES ME WORK, WHICH IS A GOOD THING!



MULDER'S, SCULLY'S, AND BABY JONATHAN'S HOME



The calm of the night was suddenly interrupted by the sounds
of the cries of the small infant. Mulder rolled over and
patted Scully's arm, "Your turn." He mumbled from under the
covers.






" No, Mulder it's your turn. I fed Jonathan at two o'clock.
That was less than an hour ago. Sounds like it's a diaper
change." She paused and grinned with her back towards her
lover. " You need to hurry before he really works himself up
or he will be awake all night."






Mulder opened his eyes and tried to get awake. They hadn't
been able to sleep for more than an hour at a time. Nobody
had told him that babies don't sleep, they had left that
part out at the Lamaze and childbirth classes. Why had they
left out that very important piece of information? He knew
why because they would have left the little tike at the
hospital until he was four. He rolled out the bed and
started towards the door when he tripped over his tennis
shoe and fell to the floor hitting his back against the
dresser. " Dammit!" He growled.






"Mulder you need to hurry." She murmured, holding back the
giggles that were about to explode.


He shook his head and thought to himself that she didn't
even ask if he was okay or "Did you hurt yourself Mulder?".
Now it was all about the baby and he was just the diaper
changer, baby walker and rocker and general slave to a small
two week old infant. He stood and wobbled down the hallway
to baby Jonathan's room.


He walked into the nursery with the little boat nightlight
giving off shadows through the room. He walked over to the
now screaming infant and gently picked him up and walked him
over to the changing table. " Okay buddy what kind of damage
have you done in that little pamper. He reached over and
grabbed his new diaper and baby wipes and slowly opened the
small newborn diaper. " Oh my gosh Jonathan! What did your
mother eat for supper?" The smell almost made him close it
and retape it but he knew his job as head diaper changer.


He pulled down the diaper and started cleaning the sticky
mess. " You little man are going to owe me big time." He
spoke softly to the now quieted baby. After he finished
cleaning the dirty mess he sprinkled a light dusting of
powder and placed the new diaper underneath the baby. Before
he could get the diaper ready to pull up, a spray of water
hit him in the face and as fast as he was with a gun at the
FBI he was not fast enough to get the diaper up and his face
was soaked. " Okay kid. That's one for you. The baby giggled
and looked almost happy at his good aim. Again he grabbed
another diaper and placed it underneath the now content
little boy. He quickly placed the diaper around the bottom
of his son and pulled down his now wet gown. " This is
great. Now I need to change your gown. He used special care
in taking off the gown and replacing it with another soft
cotton gown and picked his son up.


" Okay little man it is time to go back to bed. Little G-men
need their rest." He paused for a second and looked down at
his perfect son and smiled, a small pout had started forming
on the small boy's face. " Hey what's the matter? I changed
your diaper and your gown. You are in great shape. Of course
I need a shower now but you are fine."


The baby let out a small whimper, " Okay I will spend a
little time with you. Scully won't let me tell you bedtime
stories, she is afraid I will scar you for life. So maybe I
should sing. Unfortunately your mom can't carry a tune. I
thinks she is tone deaf." He walked over to the changing
table and grabbed a cleaning wipe and wiped off the urine
from his face and even ran it through his hair. Definitely a
shower before he went back to bed.


He closed the door to the room and took a seat in the rocker
and began to rock the small miracle. He was so proud to be
the father of such a great little guy, but he was sleepy and
he hoped that he didn't fall asleep and drop the baby. He
looked down to wide awake eyes and smiled at his son. " What
will it be Jonathan? Rock or country?"



The small infant let out a small sigh and snuggled into his
father. He was getting those heavy eyes from the rocking
motion but when Mulder momentarily stopped to readjust his
small load the baby 's eyes were wide again and looking up
towards his father. " Okay let's try a baby song
Mulderstyle. How does that sound? Hush little Jonathan don't
say a word. Daddy's going to buy you a thunderbird and if
that thunderbird don't go daddy's going to buy you a tootsie
roll and if that tootsie roll won't chew daddy's going to
buy you a conspiracy or two."


Jonathan lay in Mulder's arm with eyes staring at the man
who was singing but seemed dissatisfied with the singer. "So
your are a hard audience. Maybe a little rock and roll. Okay
lets think, something for a baby. Got it!  Beat it. Beat it.
Put in your mouth and eat it." The small child crinkled up
his face as if he would cry. Mulder stopped." Okay I don't
know all the words but I'm at least trying.
"No rock. Okay don't get upset. Then you have to like
country. Mmmm. Okay. Okay." He again readjusted the fussy
little person and thought for a second. A song that a child
would go to sleep to and it had to be something he could
possibly sing. Or at least try to sing. After a few seconds
he thought of a song. "You will like this. Maybe. You're
cheating heart will make you blue. You'll cry and cry the
whole night through. When tears come down like falling rain,
you'll turn around and call my name." The baby started with
a quivering lip and the cries came.


" You are a hard one to please." He started to get the
infant quiet by bouncing him gently in his arms. Then he
started humming to the tune of 'Jeremiah was a Bullfrog' and
within minutes the baby was cooing and snuggling into his
father's neck. Mulder sang the song quietly and when he
looked over his shoulder the baby was asleep. He gently
placed Jonathan back into the crib and tucked his little
blanket around him. He followed the light in the hall back
to his bedroom. " That kid is just like his father." He
mumbled to himself as he crawled back into the bed.



" What did you say Mulder?" Scully mumbled as she rolled
over in a half sleep.


Mulder looked over to the woman who had made his life
complete and smiled," I said, aren't babies fun."



Scully nodded, " Yeah Mulder, they are fun." She fluffed up
her pillow and pulled up the blanket, "Good night Mulder."


" Night Scully." He rolled over and his thoughts were still
on his son and how much they were alike. I'm going to like
being a father. This is fun, he thought to himself. He
rolled over and a whiff of urine hit him. He threw his legs
over the side of the bed and mumbled," Well, maybe
interesting would have been a better word." He stood and
headed towards the bathroom to take a shower.


The end