From: PsYKoGiRL7@aol.com Date: Sat, 23 Oct 1999 23:44:33 EDT Subject: Astrodome 01: Free Beer Night Source: direct Rating: PG Spoilers: One little quote from FTF started it all... Summary: What if there really was "free beer night" at the Astrodome? Category: V H Disclaimer: Put my calls on hold, I went out surfing. Tell CC he can find me out shooting the curl if he wants to sue me so bad. Look for the pink glitter surfboard. Chris owns 'em. The Astros and the Astrodome belong to some rich guy. No infringement intended, so don't sue! Author's note: The astrodome closes in 2 days unless the Astros make it to the playoffs. I intended to finish this story much sooner, but as it was, I had to rush just to get it done before the dome is closed. Anyhow, Krysten and Julie will understand this, but if anyone else reads it, please tell me whether you understood or not, because I think that I subconsciously added some inside jokes in. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Astrodome 01: Free Beer Night By Emily Pinkerton *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Scully stepped out of the car. Immediately, she regretted it. "God damnit!" she thought to herself, "It's hotter than hell here!" Silently, she wished for air-conditioning. As she and her partner walked in to the hotel lobby, she realized she should have been more careful with what she wished for. Mulder leaned over "Welcome to Siberia." He whispered. "That's Texas for you. Blazing hot outside, freezing cold inside." She shivered a little to complete the effect. "Of course, they have to take ev erything to extremes here. Big state, big hair, big --" "Come on Mulder, our rooms are ready." While Scully unpacked in her room, Mulder snuck out. Scully was going to be shocked. "Baseball?" Scully asked, eyeing the tickets curiously. "Mulder, we're supposed to be investigating --" "Government conspiracies taking place at Space Center Houston. I know, I know. But how can we do that when the local MUFON chapter hasn't contact ed us? Better yet, I won't even mention aliens or government conspiracies for at least a few hours. And it's free beer night at the Astrodome! Ho w could you possibly turn that down?" Scully's mind was busy making up a sensible excuse, but her long-ignored sense of fun couldn't let her turn down free beer. The hell with the consequences. With that, she promptly forgot unpacking and joined Mulder, who was headed towards the car. <><><> Scully was enjoying herself. The Astros were a pretty good team. They were beating the shit out of... what was that other team? She couldn't tell from the seat she was in. She made a mental note to ask Mulder when he got back with the beer. "Hey Mulder, what's the opposing team?" "Uhhh... the Colorado Rockies." "Oh, well they suck!" "Maybe they're not used to the humidity." "Or maybe the free beer was meant for *them*." "Oooh, good one Scully. Drink up!" <><><> The alcohol is definitely impairing my thinking. It's official. I, Dana Katherine Scully a, completely plastered. Everything is just a teensy bit fuzzy. Even Mulder, who is sitting next to me. How many beers have I had? Four? Five? Six? Hey, Mulder's nose doesn't look so big when I'm drunk! Oh GOD! I *must* be delirious! <><><> Ah, it's been a while since I got drunk at a baseball game. I have no idea what the hell the score is, but that's okay. I'm so drunk, I can't see the players. Not that I could have if I was sober. Not with these seats. Awww, Scully's so cute when she's drunk! I just love the way she yells "Hey Beer Man!" Whoa, I think I've had a bit much to drink today... remind me not to be the designated driver. <><><> About 10 hours later: "Urrrrrrgh." Scully groaned. She had one hell of a hangover. She decided that a quick trip to the store for some Aspirin was in effect. She entered the store, and quickly located the aspirin. She grabbed two bottles of aspirin, knowing that Mulder would want some too, paid and left. <><><> Mulder awoke to the soft yet irritating of Scully knocking at his door. It wasn't that he found Scully irritating, it was that he had a splitting headache and was just a bit annoyed. He let her in, hoping that she had a rational explanation for why he couldn't remember what had happened the night before. However, he couldn't help feeling that he was about to be very disappointed. He smiled as he noticed that his ever-rational partner had brought him a bottle of aspirin. he thought. After a few minutes of discussion, it was obvious that neither one of them had any recollection of what happened the previous night. Mulder couldn't remember a thing, and Scully remembered drinking like a sorority chick all over again. After that, she remembered nothing. What she did remember was that they were supposed to be meeting the newest additions to MUFON at the NASA Space Center Houston. She popped a few pills in her mouth, and headed for the car. <><><> When the agents arrived, there was no one to be found. Scully, being the all-wise and logical one, figured it was because she and Mulder had slept in, and were about an hour and a half late. But, the aspirin that Mulder had taken seemed to have some hidden drugs in it, because he was acting even more paranoid than usual. "You know what, Scully?" He inquired. "What?" She asked in her best I-am-not-amused-at-all tone of voice. "I don't think these girls are abductees." "Oh? Then what are they?" "I think they're secret lab rats for NASA experiments." That was a new one for her. Scully was now obligated to come up with a scientifically true statement that would prove Mulder wrong. But just then, three teenage girls came walking by, laughing loudly and quite frequently. There were two brunettes and a blonde. "Okay, most teenage girls do that." Scully mentally coached herself. "They're probably just gossiping about some pathetic trendy bitches... They haven't proved Mulder right so far." Yes, that was a perfectly rational explanation. Anyone would believe that. Yet, as they drew nearer, Scully couldn't help but notice their incredibly strange behavior. The only one who seemed to have any sanity intact was the skinny brunette. There was simply no hope for the other two. With her medical background, she guessed that their brain damage had occurred long before they started Junior high. The local crazy house must take field trips to NASA. As she and Mulder approached them, the skinny one elbowed the girls on either side of her. "Shut up, you crackheads!" She whispered loudly, "They're coming this way!" Mulder spoke first. "Have any of you girls heard of MUFON?" He asked. The two crazies burst out laughing. "I HAVE!" The psychotic long-haired brunette exclaimed. "Really? How did you find out about them?" Scully inquired. She was interested now. "The song, the song!" The blonde interjected. "Wha--?" Scully was cut off by a two-part harmony. "Do you know the MUFON man... The MUFON man, The MUFON man..." They sang the childhood song without faltering. Scully guessed that they really didn't know the difference between muffins and MUFON since they didn't even giggle as they sang it. "No, no!" The skinny one admonished. "They mean MUFON. Like E.B.E.'s and stuff." "Ohhhhhh!" They exclaimed. "Yeah, we're lifetime members!" "Thank you." Said Scully. "I think that's all we need to know." With that, she began to drag Mulder a safe distance away from these fiends. "Sculleeeee!" He whined. "What do you think you're doing? We need to find out what happened to them!!" "Mulder, those girls couldn't have told you anything." "I think they were brainwashed. I think the stranger two probably knew more than the logical one. So they were made to act like crazies to prevent the general public from believing them. The rational one was probably brainwashed as well, but they made her seem logical and smart to make the stories of the other girls seem more unbelievable. It's nothing hypnosis and regression th erapy wouldn't cure." Scully didn't believe this. "Mulder, the two you mentioned probably just smoked too much crack at one point, and they have serious brain damage as a result." "Which proves that once brainwashed, the public has no reason to believe them. It all fits together, Scully. They're being protected by someone with power, Scully. Otherwise those two would have been wearing straightjackets and the other one wouldn't have dared to get near them." "Sure, fine, whatever." Scully said, dryly. "But if no one here believes them, then what makes you think you could convince Skinner of this?" She argued. Mulder had to agree that she had a point with that one. He said something about how she was right, and they returned home, where Mulder typed up a report about how the case had inconclusive evidence and remained unsolved. And Scully swore she'd never drink again. END