From: "B R Cary" Date: Wed, 14 Mar 2001 19:51:32 -0500 Subject: submissions Source: direct Title: At the Crossroads Author: Cary Classification: SR (Mulder/Scully Romance) Rating: PG Spoilers: 'all things'; 'Fight the Future'; 'Millennium'; 'Triangle' Disclaimers: All characters used belong to 1013 Productions and Chris Carter. They are used without permission, but it was not for profit, just my own enjoyment. Summary: Scully realizes that all paths lead in one direction. Feedback: I would very much like to know what you thought of this story -- good, bad, or indifferent. My growth as an author depends on other people's input. Please send all feedback to cary1013@hotmail.com Archive: Anywhere, just as long as I am notified and all forwarding information stays intact. At the Crossroads Scully opened her eyes slowly and at once realized that the atmosphere she was used to waking up in was not surrounding her. Her own sheets smelled slightly of flowers to the due to the fabric softener she used and her blankets were soft. The blanket that was currently covering her was scratchy and had a distinct masculine aroma. In fact, it smelled like . . . Mulder. Sitting up, she noticed that she was no longer on the couch as she had been before she fell asleep, but was now in bed. Reaching over, she turned on the light she knew that was on Mulder's nightstand due to the brief glances that she had of Mulder's bedroom from previous visits. As the light illuminated the dark room, she saw that she was covered by the afghan that Mulder kept on the back of his couch. She gathered that she had fallen asleep and Mulder had brought her in here so she could rest. She smiled to herself at his thoughtfulness. Mulder could be extremely frustrating at times, but then there were times that he could also be the kindest person she knew. Snuggling further under the blanket, Scully thought back over the past several days. The blond woman she kept seeing had lead her away from Daniel and back to Mulder. In fact, she had turned into Mulder. That had to mean something. Daniel had meant so much to her at one time, but she had not thought of him for years. So why then had she gone running to his side the moment she had seen his name? And why had she entertained the thought of getting involved with him again? She knew she had told Daniel it was to show herself that she had changed since she had left him, but it had to be more than that. If she really examined her feelings, she would have to admit that she no longer loved Daniel and if she went even deeper, she did even think she would really miss him all that much. He was from a part of her life that she had chosen, of her own free will, to leave behind. Then as she lay there in Mulder's bed, the answer came to her. Daniel had been willing to give up his family and everything that was important to him to be with her. But despite that, he was not the one she wanted. She was currently lying in the bed of the man who filled that role. The problem was in the fact that she was unsure where she stood with Mulder. She knew he valued her as a friend and a partner, but she did not know if he saw her as anything else. Suddenly she knew that she was at a crossroads -- did she leave things the way they were between her and Mulder or did she take a chance and find out how he really felt about her? Pushing back the afghan, she came to her decision. If the last two days had taught her anything, it was that feelings that were not dealt with could have unwanted results. Scully slowly got out of bed and walked into the living room. The room was dark, lit only by the light from the television on which some old, black and white, science fiction movie was playing. Mulder lay sleeping on the couch. Scully just stood for a moment looking at him and as she did, a sense of peace came over her. She suddenly knew that she had chosen the correct path for her life. She belonged here with this man. Smiling again, she headed into the kitchen to find something to drink. She had just opened the refrigerator door when she heard a deep voice say, "You might want to enter there at your own risk." Shutting the door, she saw Mulder standing in the entrance to the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Mulder," she said. "I didn't mean to wake you." "You didn't really. I wasn't sleeping that heavily," Mulder replied as he ran a hand through his dark hair. "I was just getting something to drink." "Scully, you don't have to explain yourself. You are more than welcome to whatever I have." Scully thought for a moment about the things she could ask for, but then decided just to say, "Thank you. You know, you could have just left me on the couch. I wouldn't have minded. After all, I was the one who fell asleep while you were talking to me, which I am sorry for." Mulder just shrugged. "I'm used to it after all the plane rides and stakeouts it has happened on." At the look Scully gave him, he gave her the lop-sided grin that he seemed to reserve for her alone. "I'm kidding. Seriously, though, after the last couple of days you have had, I thought you needed some uninterrupted rest and the couch didn't seem the place for you to get it. I hope you didn't mind me moving you." "No, I think it was sweet of you to give up your bed for me." Mulder stood there for a moment obviously thinking about something, then said simply, "You're welcome. Why don't you go sit down and I'll bring you another cup of tea." "That sounds wonderful. Thank you," Scully said before she walked back into the living room. She was about to sit down on the couch, but then she changed her mind and went into the bedroom. Grabbing the blanket off the bed, she re-entered the living room. She removed her jacket and threw it over Mulder's desk chair. She had just curled up on the couch when Mulder walked back into the room. As he sat down, he handed her a steaming cup of tea. "Gee, why do I get the feeling that we have done this before?" Mulder teased. "So, Scully, is there anything else from your past that you want to reveal?" Scully took a sip of her tea and was silent for a moment. Her decision to find out exactly where she stood with Mulder came to mind. She realized that if she wanted Mulder to be truthful with her, she had to be the same with him. "No, but you misunderstood something I said earlier." "Oh, what was that?" "You thought I asked you what would I have missed if I had followed a different path in my life -- if I had stayed with Daniel. That is not what I said. I said what I would have missed. It was a statement not a question." Looking over at Scully, Mulder asked, "What would you have missed?" "Knowing you," Scully replied. Mulder smiled, and then grew serious. "And knowing me has been a good thing?" Scully nodded. "Yes, I consider it a very good thing." "I'm glad, but I often wonder if you would have been better off if you had never met me. Working with me has brought you nothing but pain," Mulder said softly. Scully leaned forward and placed her mug on the table, then repeated the action when Mulder handed her his cup. After that was done, she turned toward Mulder and said, "Mulder, there is no way to tell what might have happened if I hadn't met you. Maybe I would have gone through even worse things. And I can hate what has happened to me and still care deeply about you. None of what I have gone through is your fault. You have helped me though it. Besides, you have lost just as much as I have." Mulder ran his hand down Scully's cheek. "But you didn't deserve any of what happened to you." Putting her hand over the one Mulder still had on her face, she responded, "Neither did you." She watched as Mulder regarded her silently for a few moments, then he gave her a small smile. He relaxed against the back of the couch. Scully leaned back as well and realized that she was more content than she had been for quite a long time. Sitting there with Mulder, something suddenly came to her. Not so long ago she had worried that a woman from Mulder's past would lure him away from her, but that had not happened. In fact, Diana Fowley had actually helped in bringing Mulder back to her. Daniel had done the same thing. He had come back into her life and almost succeeded in making her question the decisions she had made so long ago. But, instead, her bond with Mulder had just gotten stronger, more unbreakable. She silently thanked Daniel for giving her a whole new perspective on Mulder's relationship with Diana. She felt her resentment toward Diana fade away and she knew she was now completely ready to pursue a relationship with Mulder, one that went beyond just friendship. Without even being fully aware she was doing so, Scully leaned back against Mulder and laid her head against his shoulder. Mulder, in turn, slid his arm behind her and around her waist. Scully turned her head a bit more toward Mulder's chest and slowly breathed in the scent of Mulder's cologne which was combined with his own wonderfully unique scent. They sat like that, not saying anything until Mulder tightened his arm around her and laid his forehead on top her head. "Scully," he said in a voice Scully had never heard from him. She turned a little more and noticed Mulder's face was only inches from her own. They remained frozen like that for a moment, and then they moved closer together and their lips touched. The kiss was tender and reminded Scully of the one they had shared on New Year's. They both moved away, only to meet again seconds later, except this time the kiss was anything but tender. As Mulder buried his free hand in her hair, Scully opened her mouth further to his and got her first good taste of him. He tasted of the tea he had just drank, the mint toothpaste he had used to brush his teeth with earlier, and something else indescribably wonderful that Scully realized was Mulder's alone. The kiss deepened even further and Mulder used the arm he had around Scully's waist to pull her onto his lap. Straddling his legs, Scully laid her hands on Mulder's chest. He started kissing her neck and the hand that was in her hair tightened its grip, giving him more control on the way he titled her head. Scully had just reached down to pull Mulder's t-shirt from his jeans, when he suddenly moved back. "What is it?" Scully asked breathlessly. "Don't you want this?" "More than you know," Mulder answered, just as out of breath, but in the same deep voice he had said her name in earlier. "I just don't want to be a substitute for someone you don't think you can have." Scully reached out and ran her hand down Mulder's face. After the road she and Mulder had just taken, she decided to lay it all on the line. "The only person I want to be with is you." Pulling Scully to him, Mulder kissed her once more. "I have waited so long for you to say that." "Why didn't you say something?" Scully said, not fully believing that she and Mulder were finally expressing how the truly felt about each other. "Why didn't you?" Mulder countered. "And in my defense, I tried to tell you how I felt, but the first time we got interrupted by that damned bee and the second time you thought I was drugged." Scully was confused for a moment. She remembered the first incident quite vividly. It was when she had handed in her resignation from the FBI because they had been going to transfer her to Salt Lake City. Mulder had told her that he needed her and that her beliefs made him a whole person. Then he had started to kiss her, but her getting stung by a bee -- a virus- carrying bee, at that - had indeed interrupted them. Thinking back on the incident, she had always assumed that Mulder had said those things to get her to stay, which she had. The second incident Mulder had mentioned was the one that was confusing her, and then suddenly it came rushing back. Mulder had been in a boating accident in the Bermuda Triangle and had suffered a head injury. When he was in the hospital right after being rescued, he had told her that he loved her. Since he had also said that he had just gotten back from 1939 where she had been instrumental in saving the world form an atom bomb attack, she had not believed him. Maybe she had been wrong in both cases. "You mean . . ." she began. "That I love you, yes," Mulder finished softly. Looking at Mulder for a moment, Scully realized he was telling her the truth. "I love you, too," Scully stated as she laid her hand on Mulder's chest. "Then why were you tempted to go back to Daniel?" Mulder inquired, his tone level but an underlying hurt could be heard. "Why were you tempted to go back to Diana?" "Scully, the only thing I ever wanted from Diana was the truths she told me she had access to. Yes, I trusted her when I probably shouldn't have, but I never wanted to get involved with her again. And I never lost my trust in you, no matter if it might have seemed that way at the time," Mulder replied as he took Scully's hand that still lay on his chest and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Okay, now it's your turn to answer the question." "I don't think, no I know, I would not have actually gotten involved with Daniel again. But seeing him brought back all those feeling I had once had for him and the offer was tempting because I didn't know how you truly felt about me. But seeing him again made me realize that I have made the correct choices with my life. I would not give up knowing you for anything. All the signs I kept seeing directed me back to you. That only proves we are supposed to be together." "That is the one truth I thought you might never realize," Mulder said as he looked into Scully's eyes. "I have now," Scully responded as she leaned forward and captured Mulder's lips with her own. They kissed passionately for a few minutes, and then Scully reached down and pulled Mulder's t-shirt from his jeans. Mulder did the same to the silk sweater she had on. Looking at each other, they switched their hands to their own shirts and, in unison, pulled them off. Scully ran her eyes over Mulder's chest and then allowed her hands to follow. As she did, Mulder moved his own hands to her thighs and pushed her skirt up until it was bunched at her waist. He undid the back sipper and drew the skirt off over her head. Her slip quickly followed. She felt Mulder's eyes travel over her body much as hers had his and she felt herself flush with pleasure as she saw the desire grow on his face. Mulder wrapped his arms around her waist and stood up. Scully, in turn, wrapped her legs around Mulder and as he carried her back toward his bedroom, she knew they were about to follow the path that all of their choices had lead them to. She also knew they had never been more ready. Several hours later, Scully woke up and for a few moments allowed herself the pleasure of finally being able to wake up in Mulder's arms. He felt so good, so right beside her. She sighed in contentment, but then she noticed that the room was not as dark as it had been. Glancing over at the clock, she noticed that is was only about an hour and a half before they had to be into work. Although she would much rather stay right where she was, she knew she was expected in the office that morning. Reluctantly, she slipped out of Mulder's arms and out of the bed. She had no clothes whatsoever to change into and she could not wear what she had the day before. Quickly gathering her clothes that were strung throughout the bedroom and living room, she went into the bathroom and got dressed. Leaving the bathroom, she stood for a moment and just watched Mulder sleep. Sighing softly to herself, she went into the living room because she knew if she stood looking at him much longer, her resolve would crumble and she would end up crawling back into bed with him. Moving to the desk, she grabbed a piece of paper and pen so she could leave Mulder a note. It read: Mulder, Last night began a new journey for us, one that I am glad that we are going to take together. I hate the fact that I could not be there when you woke up. Hopefully you will let me amend the circumstances that caused my absence. I will see you at work and maybe we will be able to leave early so we can continue the investigation we began last night. Scully Scully walked into the kitchen, taped the note to the refrigerator, and then walked out the door. ******************* Later that morning, Scully looked up as Mulder walked in the office. She had been catching up on paperwork and had begun to wonder where he was. She noticed the look on his face and immediately asked, "Mulder, what's wrong?" Crossing to his desk, Mulder refused to look at Scully. "Nothing, I'm fine." By the tone of his voice, as well as the look she had noticed, she knew that was not the case. She got up from her chair and hurried over. "No, you're not. Did you have a run-in with Skinner? Was he upset about your trip to England?" Mulder finally looked over at Scully and she saw the hurt that was evident in his eyes. "That would work out conveniently for you, wouldn't it?" Scully stood there for a moment thoroughly confused. "What do you mean by that?" "Why did you feel that you had to sneak out of my apartment this morning?" "I didn't sneak out. I left because I had no clothes at your place to change into for work. Didn't you read my note?" Scully inquired. It was Mulder's turn to look confused. "What note?" "The one I left for you on your refrigerator. I didn't want you to think what you are obviously thinking," Scully explained as she sat down on Mulder's desk. Mulder just stared at Scully for a moment, and then he leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "I didn't go into the kitchen this morning. God, I'm sorry. Scully. I just didn't know what to think when I woke up and found you gone. All I could think about was that you had realized you had made a mistake last night and would be better off without me." Scully's heart broke at Mulder's admission. So many people had hurt him in the past that he rarely trusted anyone. She knew that he trusted her in regards to their work, but to trust her with his emotions was harder for him to do. Reaching over, she laid her hand on top of Mulder's head. When he looked up at her, she lightly ran her fingers down his face. "Never, Mulder. I'm sorry that I caused you to think that for even one second. You know, no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to understand why anyone would ever want to let harm come to you. Obviously those that did never really go to know who you really are because if they had, they would never have been able to do the things to you they did. I can't promise that I won't ever hurt you, Mulder, but I can promise that I will never do so intentionally. I also promise never to leave you of my own accord. I meant every word I said last night. What's happening between us is just another step on our journey together." Mulder was silent for a moment, and then he broke into a smile. "So what you are really saying, Scully, is that we were meant to be together. Did you ever stop to think that might be because we are soulmates?" "I thought Melissa Ephesian was your soulmate?" Scully inquired, a bit teasingly but also somewhat seriously. "Hardly. A soulmate is someone who completes you, someone who makes you a better person, someone you can spend your whole life trying to find. I knew I found mine the day I met you," Mulder said as he took Scully's hand and intertwined their fingers. Scully was taken aback for a moment, then realized everything that Mulder had just said was how she felt about him. "I never thought about the possibility of soulmates with any real belief. The whole concept seemed so illogical. Besides, I was taught to be independent. The idea of there being someone who would complete me went against all that. I didn't feel that I needed anyone to complete me, especially not a man. Then you came into my life. You have always treated me as an equal and have respected my independence, but you also let me know that you are here for me when I do need you. We have always been true partners, but now we have expanded our partnership to include all definitions." Squeezing Scully's hand, Mulder smiled again. "That sounds awfully close to saying that we are indeed soulmates." "Maybe I am." Mulder's smile got wider. "You know, hearing you say that is quite a turn-on." Scully laughed softly, glad that Mulder was once again in a good mood. "Oh, and why is that?" "You usually discount al of my theories, so when you actually agree with me, its good for the ego," Mulder answered. "What about when I come up with my own new age theories?" Scully inquired. "Even better." "Well, in that case," Scully said as she leaned in closer to Mulder. "Did you know that I learned a theory recently that says if we keep our emotions bottled up and don't deal with them, they can lead to various illnesses? That has been studied medically, however this theory goes on further to say that our spiritual self will start sending us signs indicating that we need to deal with these feelings." Mulder raised an eyebrow. "Well, there are some feelings that I am having that needed to be addressed." "As your doctor, I have to make sure that you do indeed take all necessary precautions to guard against illness." "Scully, are you suggesting that we play doctor?" Scully noticed that Mulder's voice had gotten deeper and his breathing had increased somewhat. Completely enjoying the reactions she was causing in him, she decided to take it one step further. "When it comes to my medical duties, I never play around. It is in my most professional medical opinion that you need a long, thorough examination." Mulder groaned softly, and then said, "So, do you think that this examination is urgent?" "You tell me." "I do and getting more urgent by the second." Scully stood up and held out her hand to Mulder. "Let's go and see what I can do to relieve that." Mulder took her hand and stood up as well. He stood there for a moment and just looked at Scully. "Thank you," he said quietly. Scully gave Mulder a curious glance. "For what?" "For making all the choices that led you to me." Smiling, Scully said as she led Mulder out the door, "I could say the same to you."