From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 15:47:38 EDT
Subject: Attack of the Tree People
Source: direct

Scully's apartment 9:03 p.m. 

Special Agent Dana Scully was on her computer, checking her e-mail. She 
clicked on the New Mail sign. The only thing that showed up was Fox Mulder's 
screen name. When happened to be "F. Mulder." I know, how creative. The rest 
was a bunch of porn mail, but of course, she deleted them all (loser. j/k). 
Having nothing to do, she decided to play a game of monopoly against the 
computer. 

15 hours later 

"You stupid disinfected pig! You can't put a house on the question mark!" She 
screamed at her thimble to move faster. After 15 hours straight of monopoly, 
Scully finally went to bed once her computer blew up from so much use. As she 
was sound asleep, she had a dream.......... 
Scully was bouncing higher and higher on a trampoline when an orange 5,000 
dollar bill swooped her up and flew her to the supposed UFO crash site in 
Roswell, New Mexico. As she was flying above the huge indentation in the 
Earth, she looked up at a cloud that looked exactly like Mulder. Just then, 
she heard , "Scully?" 
"AAUUGGHH!! It's alive! Stop talking to me you unnaturally white cloud!" She 
woke up right after she screamed this. Just then, "Mulder" turned into a 
giant, 50 foot treeman. "Oh my freaking gosh! That was so cool! How did you 
do that?" 
Surprised that she wasn't in the least bit frightened by this transformation, 
the treeman said,"Aren't you scared?" 
"Excuse me, but I've had a psycho guy try to rip out my liver, an obssessee's 
assistant try to rip out my heart, a nurse try to stab me, a sheriff try to 
suck my blood, a pair of two 8-year olds poison my soda, been abducted by 
aliens, and experienced killer Arctic worms. Why would this scare me?" 
"Um.....well....uh....what if I do this?" Then the treeman transformed into a 
daisy. As mentioned before, Scully is terrified of daisies, so she started 
screaming. Just then, Mulder burst into the door and he changed back into a 
tree. 
"Hey, Scully, the Lone Gunmen told me that you were playing monopoly. How 
could you play without me...........?" It was then that he noticed the 50 
foot treeman. "Hey, who are you? Scully, you have a boyfriend?! Oh 
cra..............." 
"No! This dumb thing is trying to scare me. How did the Gunmen know I was 
playing monopoly?" 
"Um.....no reason. Lucky guess," mulder said and quickly changed the subject. 
"Hey, why is he here anyway?" 
The treeman said,"I'm really not sure. It has something to do with me and a 
vat of pudding. Who knows?" 
Mulder ended up shooting this tree. I can't really figure out why. I think he 
just didn't like the thought of Scully being alone with another man. Though 
it's understandable, I have to say that it was fairly irresponsible and 
childish. What am I talking about? This is Mulder! Of course he did something 
totally stupid. Any-whoo, um.......yeah. 

The moral of this story is to always recycle because we want those stupid 
trees to live as long as possible so that we can keep writing on them and 
torturing them. It delights me so much.