From: Amatia Date: Mon, 19 Oct 1998 21:40:42 -0500 (CDT) Subject: "Author's Files II" (1/1) by Amatia Title: "Author's Files II" (or "The Author Tells Her View on the Movie by Making Krycek Whine".) Author: Amatia (violinst@pitnet.net) Category: V, H (I hope...) Archiving: Gossamer, please. Let me know if you'd like to archive it elsewhere. :-) Rating: PG-13 for a naughty word or two. Nothing you don't see in the movies. Notes: I don't think this story makes sense. But the voices in my head made me write it...they're tired of waiting on this "big long novel" mentioned in here. Spoilers: Terma, I guess....Fight the Future. ----- Author's Files II by Amatia It was four A.M., and the Author sat alone in her office, high heels tossed haphazardly to the floor, stockinged feet tucked underneath her body in the comfortable swivel chair. A notebook lay spread open before her, and she swore furiously under her breath as she scribbled, crossed out, and scribbled some more. The Author glanced up as she heard tentative knocking on the door. "Come in," she called softly. The door opened, and her favorite character, Alex Krycek, stepped in. "What are you doing up?" she asked. "I'd say the question is, what are you doing up?" he replied. "Working." It was uttered stubbornly. "Well, I couldn't sleep," was his explanation. The Author indicated the bottle of vodka in his hand. "You gonna let me have some of that?" He used it to gesture at her decanter of brandy. "You've got your own." "I feel like vodka. Give me some and I'll write you a nice little happy vignette." She grinned as he snorted and handed her the bottle. In a very unladylike manner, she tipped it up and took a deep swallow. "That's not very ladylike," he commented. "Fuck ladylike," was her answer. Krycek sat down on the couch. "So what are you working on?" "Nothing. It's all crap," she said irritably He noticed her computer wasn't even on, and then saw her close the notebook. "Pencil and paper, hmm? Let me see." She shoved it in a drawer. "Nevermind that." He gave her a pouty look, and she chuckled. "Then at least tell me what you've put me in this time," he cajoled. "You get to be more like your true self for once," she replied cryptically. "Oh that tells me a lot," Krycek muttered. "Please, please, please say that Marita Covarrubias is *not* in this story." "Martia Covarrubias is *not* in this story. You only mention her a few times." "To...?" "Moose and Squirrel." "Can I ever have a story where neither of them are mentioned?" he whined. "Stop whining. I have to finish this one before I start anything else. And sadly for you, they're both in it." "Is this the one where you make me talk to *Spender*?" "Yes." He scowled. "But why?!?" "It's kind of important, hello, Alex." The Author tossed a pencil at him. "Awww," he whined, as the pencil hit him on the forhead. "Ow. That's dangerous." "Does it look like I care?" she whined in return. "Seriously, all you and Scary Spender do is talk." "Scary Spender? Is that kind of like Scary Spice?" "Uuuugh," she moaned. "Mention that name again and I may have to kill you." "What, do I die in this new giant Scary Spender story?" "First, it's not new, I've been working on it since May. Second, there's only a couple chapters with Spender in them. And no, you don't die. But you *are* naughty, my little Lucifer." He took a swig of vodka and then stuck his tongue out at her. "D'you ever notice how all those big slash authors like to have Mulder compare me to the Devil?" "It's a good comparison," she argued. "At least they all think the Devil is good looking." He muttered something about "Mystery Science Theater 3000" showing "Devil Doll" and took another drink of vodka. The Author looked at him for a long moment. "Go get Spender down here." "WHAT?!" "And Mulder and Scully. And the One-Armed Krycek!Clone." "WHAT?!?!?!" he sputtered, spitting vodka this time. "GO!" she ordered. He muttered something again, this time about Hitler, and scurried off, the bottle still in his hand. The Author poured brandy in a cut-crystal glass and then sat staring at it, turning it in her hand so that the crystal sparkled under the dim light. Krycek returned, followed by Spender (who looked disgruntled), Mulder (who looked hungover), Scully (who looked like she'd just been....STUNG BY A BEE!). The Author hid her laugh behind the brandy glass. It wasn't like she hid her hatred of the Evil!Movie, usually. She poured another glass of brandy and handed it to Scully. "You look a little pale, my dear," she said. Mulder pouted as Scully took a sip of the liquor, and the Author frowned at him. "You look like you've had enough." The door opened, and One-Armed Krycek!Clone stumbled in. The Author shot him a disapproving look and pulled several Web Diagrams from her bottom drawer. Spender saw them and shuddered. She wrote "Spender" in huge sprawling handwriting on one, "Mulder" on another, and "Scully" on another. "You don't get one," she said to One-Armed Krycek!Clone. He pouted. "You!" she said suddenly, and pointed at Spender. "Meee?" he whimpered. She wrote "whimper" in one of the circles on his diagram. He pouted, looking for all the world like One-Armed Krycek!Clone. She wrote "pout" on his diagram. He muttered something about "Jerry Springer." The Author didn't write anything this time. She frowned. Spender cowered. "Look, everyone," she said. "I'm quite stuck on this story. I have to use too many things from the Evil!Movie in it." She fixed Mulder and Scully with a strict look. "No kissing. No "you make me a whole person" blabber. Sure, you can love each other, fine. But I don't need to hear about it. I cheered for the bee." "Muhahahahaaha!" burst in One-Armed Krycek!Clone. They all turned to stare at him. He whimpered, and the Author threw a pencil at him.It would have hit him in the arm - but he didn't have one. ouch, that was rude.... ********************************************** * Site X - http://personal.pitnet.net/london * * CyberGrrlz - http://www.cybergrrlz.com * * President AWB, Member SAB, Member LGAB * * United States Army Reserve * ********************************************** * Vic: "Yeah, right, Spooky." * * FBI: "Don't call me Spooky, Ratboy." * * - OAT, "The Director's Files" * **********************************************