From: Amatia Date: Thu, 8 Apr 1999 20:19:26 -0500 (CDT) Subject: "Author's Files III" (1/1) by Amatia Title: Author's Files III (Or, The Author's Trip To The Slash Convention) Author: Amatia Email: violinst@pitnet.net Rating: PG-13 Category: H, V, slash Archiving: Gossamer. All others please ask 1st. Spoilers: Tiny one for "Tunguska", and of course "Terma" Feedback: YES! YES! violinst@pitnet.net Summary: The Author registers at the slash convention. Note: I know this has been done before...but I need some fluffy silly fun amidst the heavy angst of "Avatar". :-) Author's Files I and II are available on my website (or at Gossamer), but this can stand alone. ** Author's Files III by Amatia The Author stood in the lobby of the Towers Hotel, smiling wider than she'd smiled in years. Or weeks at least, she'd been writing a lot of angsty stuff. It was time for a change. A bellboy appeared to take her bag. On second glance, she noticed he wasn't the bellboy - he was a Mountie. She shrugged, and let him take her bag, making a mental note to give him a big tip if she saw him again, he was quite cute. She made her way over to the registration table, pausing momentarily to say hello to fellow authors. Alex Krycek was running the registration table, with Marita sitting beside him. The Author raised an eyebrow at them. Krycek grinned. "Sign here," he said, handing her a pen. It was one that had a woman who lost her clothing as the pen was held upright. "Cute," she told him, and signed. "You hosting any of the lectures?" "They put me in charge of the "Sex and the One-Armed Man" lecture," he replied. "As they should. Want to sign up?" She chuckled. "Sorry, you've already gotten smutty slash out of me." "But what if you want me to have sex with Scully?" he whined. "Don't whine," she replied. "If I wanted you to have sex with Scully...I don't even want to think about that! She's a doctor anyway, she can figure out what to do with your missing arm. This is a *slash* convention, anyway. What other lectures are there?" "Scully's giving a lecture on correct terminology in smut, but no one's signed up, so it's gonna get cancelled. She and Xena - see that woman over there in the leather? - are giving a joint lecture on the problems with creating an original female character for use in slash. Your piece on Scully with Starling is being used in favor of the argument of using crossover people." "I wish they would inform me they're using my stuff," the Author sighed. "Don't sign me up for that one. Ok, what else?" "Mulder's giving a lecture on angst in slash. I signed you up already." "Smart boy. What about Walter?" "Walter's giving a lecture on men in BVD's," Krycek replied. The Author burst out laughing. "Sign me up for that one, Alex." "Ben Fraser - the Mountie - is giving a talk on men in uniform, and how to get them out of the uniform correctly, and his partner Ray Vecchio is teaching a cooking class, Italian food, since that seems to be all the slash authors' favorite." "Hmm...I'll let you know on the uniform one," she said. "I have to know by this afternoon." "Okay. Anything else?" "Author's discussion groups...inter-show male slash, inter-show female slash, TV male slash crossover, movie male slash crossover, TV female slash crossover, movie female slash crossover, male slash OCs, female slash OCs, the slash Mary Sue, PWPs, and slash minus smut." "Do I have to sign up for those?" Krycek handed her a piece of paper. "Just go to the ones you want." "Are there guest speakers?" "We recruited Jim Kirk and Clarice Starling for the movie groups..." Krycek ruffled through a stack of papers. "Fraser says he'll speak on TV male slash crossover. I think he's using it as a way to get used in more crossovers with us..." "Would you do a crossover with him?" the Author asked, raising an eyebrow. "And you would base that story on *what* premise?" he asked in reply, grinning. "I don't do good crossovers, and you know it." "You do Once a Thief crossovers nicely." "Whatever, whitegirl. Speaking of OAT, Mac Ramsey is here. I think he's over in the corner, hitting on Mulder." "Ramsey and Mulder..." she mused. "Naw. They're both tall dark and handsome. Two TDH's don't work well together." "Excuse me?" Krycek sputtered. "Sorry, love, but in the world of slash, you're the only SOADH. Short, One-Armed, Dark and Handsome. You're limited in your possibilities." "Can you write me a vignette with Skinner?" He grinned at her. "Well, technically, yes, after the balcony scene in "Tunguska"...but it would not be nice." She frowned. "I still have that story where you don't leave the X-Files because Mulder doesn't find the cigarettes and then you two get stuck going to Mississippi together." "Mulder and I are too overdone." "Speaking of overdone, you've been getting it on with Jeff Spender a lot lately. Is he here?" "He's here." Krycek grinned again. "He's my roomate." That was quite silly...but it was a nice break. :-)) violinst@pitnet.net Site X - http://personal.pitnet.net/london