from: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 25 Oct 2001 00:13:12 -0000
Subject: Back by A.Atkins
Source: direct

Reply To: angerballx3@hotmail.com

 Spoilers: Existence
 Disclaimer: Lets just *pretend*
  I own them ;)
 Feedback: Sure!! Hit me! 
 (angerballx3@hotmail.com)
 Archive: Please ask first =)
 Thanks: To the greatest beta-er ever 
 SpikeToy!! I love ya babe!
 ****************************
 "The truth we both know." 
 
 "Which is what?" 
 
 My breath caught in my throat as Mulder's head 
 dipped towards mine. Our lips met with such 
 perfection that I felt my heart would burst. 
 This was our first acknowledgment our relationship 
 being anything other than "partners" since that night
  I fell asleep on his couch. I reach up and take Mulder's 
 elbow in my hand, anchoring myself to him. After a few 
 moments Mulder let out a low chuckle as Will began to
  beat his tiny fists against our chests. He walked him over 
 to his crib and placed him down with a soft kiss on the 
 forehead. He then turned to me and guided me to the living
  room with his hand on the small of my back. It may seem 
 insignificant but I always felt safe, secure when Mulder put
  his hand there, I knew everything would be all right, he 
 would never guide me into harm. We both sat down 
 on the couch, I waited for him so take the lead, sensing, 
 knowing that he had something important to say. As I turned
  to face him, he reached out and cradled my face in his hands, 
 tracing lazy circles with his thumbs. 
 
 "Scully I know I haven't been there for you - " 
 
 "Mulder, it's OK I underst - " 
 
 "No Scully, please just let me explain." 
 
 He released my face but gently took hold of my hand,
  making the same lazy circles. 
 
 "When I came back, I expected everything to pick up right 
 where it left off...we'd be partners, I'd present my theories 
 and you'd raise your eyebrow, we'd have our Thursday night 
 movies, and you'd be my best friend, always there to watch
 my back. But when I got back it was as if the whole world 
 had tipped away from me while I had been gone. You 
 had a new partner, you believed if only half-heartedly 
  and you were pregnant. Pregnant Scully! You have no 
 idea how much I wanted you to have a child, but I never
  imagined it would happen like it did. I felt out of the 
 loop, I should have been the first to know but 
 instead I was the last. Jesus, Scully, for all I knew the
  baby wasn't mine, I know how crazy that may seem,
  but I felt as though you had moved on, forgot about me. 
 I was also confused, because when I opened my eyes that 
 day in the hospital Scully, something in me shifted, 
 I knew at that moment for certain one of the truths that 
 has alluded me for so long. 
 
  "I love you Scully." 
 
 The lump that had been growing in my throat threatened
  to choke me off, and my voice hitched as I whispered 
 
 "I love you too Mulder." 
 
 I thought I had seen every possible emotion reflected in 
 Mulder's eyes at one time or another but at that moment 
 I saw one that I will forever remember. It was love, relief 
 and pure raw need. I wrapped my arms around his neck 
 as he pulled me onto his lap. I've always loved the way 
 Mulder and I perfectly fit together almost as though we 
 were made foreach other, but it had never felt as sweet as
  it did at that moment. I nuzzled his neck, memorizing his 
 scent, and placed a soft kiss where his neck and collarbone
  met. Mulder suddenly pulled back and said 
 
 "I'm really back this time." 
 
 And as our lips met for the second time that night,
  I knew it was true.