Subject: *NEW* A Bad Day In The Bar... From: Kobler Date: Sat, 13 Sep 1997 15:07:22 +0000 Dum de da dum.... I'm approaching the.... drum roll please ..... SONG STORY!!!! bwh hah hah!! Okay, okay. It's always difficult to throw in the cliché song that just fits' in. But I'm sorry I was looking over the lyrics and I just thought of THEM as I read the lyrics over and over. I tried my best to make a good song story - but her nobody's perfect! I orginally wrote it as anon - song story but then I added the lyrics in and modified it slightly. Anyway. Guess what people? YOU'RE NOT MAILING ME!! Okay. Guess who I wanna thank right now? The Poet, Xmeg / XmegamiX / Jen, Megan, and Susand for actually mailing me! Hats off to ya. For feeding the small hunger I call for FEEDBACK!!! Okay, I'm okay. Look here's the address... and mail me and we'll all get along kobler@erols.com Title: A Bad Day In The Bar.... Summary: Scully's in a bar and upset cause of - what else? - Mulder and her cancer a song starts playing that 'just fits' their relationship Rating: A couple of bad words but I usually have some... but rate this what you will... PG? PG - 13? Not an R, I don't consider it an R.... Disclaimer: C'mon say it with me now! "Mulder and Scully do not belong to me, they belong to Fox, CC, and 1013 and Chris Carter." Yeaaahhhhh!!! Whatever. I'm still poor when it comes to her and the song is Sheryl Crow's on her CD 'Tuesday Night Club' no permission was given and no infringement intended Classifications: An angst for poor little old Scully again. I bet she hates being colored black all the time... sorry that's from a story I read awhile ago I can't remember by who or how long ago. I think its titled 'The Artists' anyway. Ya a Vignette / Scully / Angst. Right I think that's it. A Bad Day In The Bar *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ by: The Freakish One Life was bad. Life was very bad. Scully poked at the potato skin covered in cheese and oil and bacon. Scully didn't even know why she was here, at a bar sucking on a bloody Mary during happy hour in the dark corner. She could only chalk it up to one thing. Life was bad. Life was very bad. She sucked deeper into the drink. Scully didn't really want to be here, well that's what she tried to tell herself as the waitress took the empty glass away from her. Scully looked up at the woman's wrinkled old face that still wore a smile. Scully waved her away, licking her lips deciding she didn't want another bloody Mary. "Margarita." She muttered and looked down at the potato skin and lifted it to her mouth. She was surprised to see the outline of the waitress still standing there when she looked up. Scully scowled. The waitress continued to stand. "What?" Scully snapped annoyed after a while. "How do you want it?" Realization dawned hazily on Scully. She blinked a few times and smiled apologetically. The waitress seemed used to it. "Umm on the rocks, with salt." Scully said trying to remember exactly how she did want it done. How long since she'd last had one? She couldn't remember, Scully wasn't sure she should be here. But hell, why not? Life sucked. Life sucked real bad. Scully turned in time to see Mulder walk into the bar. Life just got worse. She closed her eyes and sank deeper into the darkness of the dim corner. Scully was feeling very young, very afraid, and very alone. She prayed Mulder wouldn't see her, she lifted her knees up onto the booth and rested her right cheek on top of them. She shut her eyes tighter when she felt the onslaught of tears that threatened to spill when she felt her nose start to bleed. A small spot of blood lay on her jeans. Damn it. Her eyes flew open, and she pushed down the sobs that threatened to arise. Her nose was bleeding. There was cancer up there. And it was getting worse. Mulder didn't care. Life was bad. Scully's eyes darted around. Mulder was standing in front of the bathroom, right directly in front of it. Scully muttered a 'shit' and tried to find another bathroom. But it was too dim and that bathroom was the closet. Damn. She grabbed a fairly clean napkin off the table she was sitting at, and pressed it to her nose trying to ignore the stinging pain. She shut her eyes momentarily and stood up looking around. Mulder's neck was craned and he seemed to be searching the crowd for someone, no doubt someone like the luscious Dr. Bambi. What the hell kind of name was that anyway? Scully didn't want to dwell on it. The blood flow was getting a bit heavier, a bit too heavy, and the pain was getting bad. It stung too much, way too much for comfort. But she would be strong. She took a deep breath and started on her way to the bathroom. Mulder saw her, he'd actually come looking for someone else. But there she was trying her best to ignore him, trying her best to act like he wasn't there. He saw her approaching the bathroom, saw her holding the red napkin to her nose and saw the way her eyes were glassy and the way her face was twisted in pain, confusion and hurt. Saw it all in only the way he'd learned how, felt the pain that ripped through his heart and saw the red that flashed before his eyes. The damn bastards that had put that fuckin' thing in her, did those fuckin' things to her. He saw everything, espcially the way her eyes made contact with his for a moment. And he saw the worst of it, the way she wanted him to care, wanted him to help her. Saw the secret meaning in her, and then he looked right through her like she wasn't there. Like he didn't care. Life was bad. Real bad. Scully pushed the door out of her way angrily. Damn damn damn, she had actually made eye contact with the fuckin' bastard, and she knew what Mulder had seen in her eyes. Goddamnit . Scully turned the tap water on with a frustrated flick. She was very upset with herself, and her nose - it hurt so fuckin' bad. The blood, why wouldn't the blood stop? It should've stopped a long time ago, it never usually lasted this long. The blood flow shouldn't be this thick either, make it stop. Make it go away. Who exactly are you talking to Dana, Mulder? Yeah like he's going to come bursting in here and apologize for all the shit he's putting you through. Yeah right. There was a knock on the bathroom door. Scully wondered who would knock on a public bathroom door. "What??!!" She cried out hoarsely. "Scully?" Scully forced the tears back, its just a little nose bleed. Nothing at all, just a little nosebleed, it's okay - I'm going to be okay. "What?" Scully called her voice scratchy and torn, like someone had ripped at the sound of it. Mulder leaned into the doorway and it opened and he faced Scully, she carefully kept her eyes on the mirror. She could see him but she silently willed herself not to turn around. She tried to read his eyes through the mirror. While trying to understand her own thoughts. Apologize Mulder, and I won't forgive you. Hug me Mulder, and I won't hug you back. Promise to do it better next time, and I'd call you a fuckin' liar Yell at me Mulder, and I'll kick your ass Do whatever you want, just stay here in the bathroom. Scully pinched her nose tighter. "Scully - " He stopped and started himself. Pushing Scully to jump in, to reveal her thoughts first to let him have the upper hand. He tried to make her, tried to force her to, wanted her to. Scully waited. "Please hear me out." He stared and stopped again, Scully decided to answer this comment. "You're here, I'm here, so talk." She pushed, urging the blood to stop and push the stinging pain and dizzying feel in her head to leave. "Scully damn it -" He stopped as a tear slipped down Scully's cheek. He stopped as he felt a rush of guilt and Scully felt her own rage. Great cry and admit that he can do this to you. Damnit Scully, she felt like such a pile of insecure shit. "God I feel like hell tonight Tears of rage I cannot fight I'd be the last to help you understand Are you strong enough to be my man?.." Scully wanted to burst out laughing at the lyrics of the song playing in the bar. God did it fit, oh dear God did it fight. Mulder wasn't listening. He reached out a hand and rested it on Scully's shoulder. Apologize and I won't forgive you Mulder, don't ask me to. Just leave me be, for once? Let me be myself? I don't want your sympathy tonight Mulder, not tonight. I don't want you to spout to me your worn down demand for the truth, I'm sick of it, fuck the truth. There is no truth anymore Mulder, just the lie you chose to believe. "Nothing's true and nothing's right. So let me be alone tonight You can't change the way I am Are you strong enough to be my man?..." Mulder's hand felt warm on her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him in the face. I won't forgive you this time Mulder. I won't, you don't deserve to be forgiven. You're not even sorry, don't give me that puppy dog concerned face I'm sick of it. Don't pull this Mulder don't pull it. ... Okay you went and pulled The Look, shit here we go. "Scully I'm so sorry." Yes of course you're sorry you fuckhead, you're always sorry but you just keep doing it again. You asshole, I'm not going to forgive you I'm not! In a women's bathroom I'm crying and for the first time I want you to realize that this is my life. Damn it Mulder not everything is about you, but you just had to make it all about you didn't you? Damn it Mulder. Scully pinched at her nose. He wasn't forgiven, he never would be, not completely and whenever he'd get close he'd screw it up for himself again. "I know Mulder, and its not your fault. It's okay. It's not your fault. I forgive you." Scully assured him. He smiled, Scully pinched tighter. Sure Mulder believe that, chose which fiction to believe in. I thought I said I wouldn't forgive you, but you pulled that shit on me. Pull whatever you want Mulder just stay within arm's reach. "Lie to me I promise to believe. Lie to me But please don't leave..." Scully made him go away reinforcing that this was a women's bathroom afterall. Damn it she just wanted him gone. Cold water on her face and a stare in the mirror. The face wasn't really hers, just sort of there. The tattoo and Scully could almost see Ed's eyes, and Mulder's eyes. Scully pushed the thought away, breaking free was that what it had all been about? She didn't understand even herself, but the part that she did understand she was getting sick of. Wearing the same persona every damn day probably for the rest of her fuckin' life. Doesn't matter, I'm fine, say it again to yourself and to him. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine. What bullshit, but he believes it. The cancer is okay I don't care, I'm fine, nothing's going wrong. What am I doing to myself? To him? Why am I doing this? Scully pushed the thoughts away. He'd always be there, he had to be. Just not today, just not now, Scully didn't need him now. Scully didn't really want him now. She just needed to know he'd be there when she did. She turned on her heel, the game of life was too confusing and tiring. She just wanted to go home. "I have a face I cannot show I make the rules up as I go It's try and love me if you can Are you man enough to be my man? When I've shown you that I just don't care When I'm throwing punches in the air When I'm broken down and cannot stand Will you be strong enough to be my man? Lie to me I promise to believe Lie to me But please don't leave...." ------------------------------------------ Thanks for reading, mail me on your way out to the real world. "Freedom is our own punishment." ~ A friend of mine "Okay don't cower down and say be thinking 'oh no I'm not going to ask her she looks irritates. I'm always irritated! Everything irritates me! LIFE irritates me!" ~A teacher I had in 8th grade