From: "Leslie Cummings" Date: Sat, 28 Jul 2001 02:32:14 +0000 Subject: A Barenaked Summer's Night Source: direct Title: A Barenaked Summer's Night Author: Barenaked Bostonian Rating: Pg-13, R? How the hell do I know? I was only the one who wrote it! Category: Mulder/Scully Romance, UST Summary: A little Barenaked Ladies, a summer's night, Mulder, Scully and a concert, macaroni and CHEESE excluded! FEEDBACK: All authors ask for it, but never get it, but if you're a fan, and don't even care about the fic, e-mail me! Scully9485@hotmail.com Disclaimer: Hmm, I don't own the X-Files, not that I recall, but OH, how I wish I owned Ed's and Kevin's fine asses! All the songs here either belong to the Barenaked Ladies or to Vertical Horizon. Distribution: If you don't think that this is a total piece of shit, go right ahead! Spoilers: The Jersey Devil AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay guys, let me be the first to point out how this COULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN! But, I like to think that mind candy is fun. I'm NOT a teenybopper and I don't write crap like this often, but I had just gone to the BNL concert at the Tweeter Center, and I was downloading my CD's onto Real Jukebox on my computer. I just came up with this. SOOOO, all of you who know the Barenaked Ladies, you rock. All of you who don't, go out and buy one of their six CD's, or get the greatest hits CD when it comes out! MORE NOTES: Dale Dormant of Kiss 108 FM Boston, to Tyler Stewart and Kevin Hearn, July 21st, 4:59 P.M. "So guys, I hear you're putting out a greatest hits CD?" Tyler: "Yeah, we figured we'd just put 'One Week' on a continuous loop..." ONE MORE NOTE: Okay, so in 'One Week' they say "Watchin' X-Files with no lights on, we're dans la maison (in the house), I hope the smoking man's in this one..." so let's pretend 'One Week' says... "Watchin' the Simpson's with no lights on, I hope Sideshow Bob's in this one..." Okay? Hey, it was on and I had NOTHING so I just threw it in! *BNL*BNL*BNL*BNL*BNL* DEDICATION: To Maya, my phile and my BNL buddy! And to Lesley, who really wanted to go to the concert, but couldn't! I love you both! *BNL*BNL*BNL*BNL*NL* Dana Scully's Apartment 2:21 P.M. She sat at her kitchen table, the empty plate in front of her, the Sunday paper in her lap. She felt that it was quite pathetic that this seemed relaxing to her. In the days past, this only would have made her restless and uneasy. She didn't usually sit still back then, there was always something to do. Not now, but it wasn't that she wasn't content now... She had read through North Weekly and Arts, and now she was browsing the sports page, wanting to find if her team, The Red Sox, was in first place. She would never let Mulder know this for fear of torment over his Yankee loving spirit. She still hadn't figured out why he liked the Yankees, yet grew up on the Vineyard. But then again, she couldn't figure a lot of things out about her partner. She took a sip of her coffee, hazelnut, and let the warm liquid slide down her throat before picking through the paper again. She had just found a nice little blurb about a band, when the phone rang. There were few people that actually called her now a days. It was mostly Mulder, but she got calls from her mother and Bill once in awhile. She picked up the phone expecting it to be her partner. "Hello?" "Hi! Dana?" Instead she was hit with a strangely familiar female voice. It took a moment for her to register the person in her mind. "Ellen! Hi! I haven't heard from you since... oh, God knows when! How are you?" "Oh, I'm fine Dana, but I guess the question is, how are YOU?" "Ellen, I'm as I've always been. Bored and lonely, but I'd say content none the less." Scully sighed into the phone and the grimace that had been on her face disappeared. "How's Trent Ellen? How old is he now?" "Oh, Trent just went through a very sudden growth spurt and we had to buy him a whole new wardrobe, albeit hipper though." Scully chuckled. "He's fourteen now, and has a little sweetheart. He's growing so big so fast, I can still remember his sixth birthday, you were there Dana, weren't you?" "Yes, I was." "Oh Dana, I can't believe that it's been this long! I swore in high school that I'd never go a week without talking to my friends and now it's been almost five years since we last went out!" "I know Ellen, I would have liked to see Trent." "And me." Her friend laughed. "And you." Scully laughed as well. "Well Dana, how have things been?" "Well, fine I guess. Little things you know," Dana thought about her 'trip' to Antarctica and all the things that had happened. "I traveled some." "That's nice, what do you do know, A.D. of the FBI no doubt." Her friend laughed again. "No, actually. Nothing even remotely close. I still work on the X-Files, and I think I'm glad that I stayed for the ride..." "Why? Just so you come watch that pretty partner of yours?" "Ellen..." "Dana, I've seen pictures." "Well that..." Scully laughed. "And the things I've seen..." "Like what?" Her friend asked. "Ellen, long LONG complicated story. There is no way I can tell you one thing and not the rest." "I guess we'll save that for another time." "How's John?" Scully asked. "Well, about three months ago he went in for open heart surgery, but he's fine now, still a lazy blob." "Same as ever." "What about you Dane?" "What about me?" "Anyone in your life?" "Me? No Ellen, no time. Not since Jack..." "Dana! It's been THAT long?" "I'm sorry Ellen!" Dana said with a half chuckle, half wince. "Not even that Mulder of yours?" "Ellen, he and I are the best of friends, and as I always say, he's too involved with his work, and so I am." "See, you have common interests..." "Ellen, we know EVERYTHING about each other, and our friendship is of the highest caliber." Scully giggled. "I wouldn't risk it for anything." "Not even for something better? Oh, Dana, hold on a minute, I've got another call." Lone Gunmen Residence 2:34 P.M. "Langly, I didn't lose." "Mulder, you lost!" "YOU cheated! You touched the puck with your hand, that's cheating." "Mulder, I won and you know it. You have to come, we made a bet!" "Langly, I don't want to. Too many people." "Well, Mulder I'm not going alone, that's no fun." "I... I have plans with Scully!" "Mulder, you and I both know that's bull. Two weeks from now? And on a Saturday? I think not!" "Fine Langly fine, two weeks, I'll pick you up!" Dana Scully's Apartment 2:41 P.M. "Dana, you there?" "Yeah, I'm still here, just drying some dishes, I have you on speaker phone." "Oh, okay... well, guess who I have on the other line?" "Who?" "Maya!" "Maya? Maya?" "Yes, we're going to a concert in two weeks, and we have an extra ticket! Dana, you have to come with us girls again!" "Oh, Ellen, I don't know if I'm much fun!" "Dana, you have to come out with us, we haven't seen you in forever, Diane even longer!" "Diane's going to be going?" Scully's ears perked up at the mention of one of her oldest friend's. "Yes, it will be you, me, Diane and Maya." "Well, Ellen, I don't know..." "Then it's settled, we'll pick you up on Friday at 9, the concert is Saturday..." "Wait, what? Why are you picking me up on Friday then?" "Well, it seems that Maya's husband Dan, he could only get tickets at a different venue, and she loves this band, so he got them for her." "That's sweet, what band?" "The... Barenaked Ladies. I heard they're good in concert." "Oh, um, where is the concert?" Scully asked, drying a dinner plate. "Hold on, let me ask." Ellen said and she clicked over to the other line. Scully put the dishtowel on the hanger and went to sit down on the sofa. She sat down and waited for Ellen to come back. "Dana?" "Yeah." "It's in Massachusetts somewhere, we don't know the name of the place, but Dan is going to get us some directions and make reservations at a hotel, he's paying for it soo.... even better!" "Wait, Ellen, what are you going to do with Trent, especially is John is out on business?" "Trent has a band competition in Milwaukee, so if he needs either of us, he can reach us on our cell phones." "Oh." Scully said simply. "I guess it's settled then? There's no way I can get out of this, is there?" Not that she wanted to... "No, Dana, there isn't. We'll see you on the twentieth, but I'm sure we'll talk before then. Bye Dana, and say hello to that yummy partner of yours for me, alright?" "Okay Ellen, I'll see you." Scully hung up the phone with a feeling of contentment. X-Files Offices Friday, July 20th 10:46 A.M. "Oh yeah, Mulder, I won't be in town this weekend, I'm going away." Scully said, skimming a file. "Oh, really? Where to?" Mulder was equally as engrossed in a file of his own. "Hmmmm? Oh, just up north with some friends who I haven't seen in awhile." "Nice. I won't be around either, Langly dragging me off somewhere, lost a bet..." "You? Lost a bet?" "Air hockey." Mulder said matter-of-factly. "Ah." Was the only thing that Scully said. It seemed she had 'forgotten' to say hello to her yummy partner for Ellen. Dana Scully's Apartment Friday, July 20th 8:54 P.M. Scully's phone rang, just as she was placing her overnight bag on the couch. She reached over quickly and clicked it on. "Hello?" "Dana, Ellen, we'll be there in about ten, be ready." "Oookay!" Scully said and hung up. She gathered up her belongings and made sure everything was shut off. She turned off the lamp in the living room and locked the door behind her. Although she didn't want to admit it to herself, a thing that she hardly ever did, she was looking forward to this. She hadn't been with friends, well besides Mulder, in God knows how many years! Even if it only was for a few days, she was hoping she would have a little fun. And not to mention the band. It wasn't one of those teenybopper bands that attracted tons of screaming girls, but they were fairly popular, with every age group. The scientist she was, she had gone out and bought three of their CD's that she didn't have. She looked them up online and learned more about them, and boy were they interesting. She had liked them before, but now she had a profound respect for these musicians. About their life, their music and beyond. She knew some of their songs, by heart of course. All the songs from Gordon and from Stunt and from Maybe You Should Drive, but she hadn't had the chance to pick up the others until just last week. She saw Ellen's car pull around the corner, and quelled her thoughts. Route 495 Canton, MA July 21st, 4:05 A.M. "Mulder, maybe I should drive?" "No Langly, I'm fine. I can drive half asleep, you can't drive when you're fully awake." "Fine, Mulder, but if you fall asleep at the wheel... it's not my fault. You can't blame it on me." "We're almost to the hotel now anyway. Only another half hour. I think." "Alright..." Langly leaned over to switch on the radio. "Kiss 108, WXKS FM, Medford-Boston, The nation's most listened to radio station, thanks to you!" "All right, for all of you guys out there listening, and I don't know why you are. It's four in the morning, go to sleep already! Next caller 18 gets tickets to BNL. 617-931-1108. This is Chris Shine. Kiss" "Mulder, give me your cell." Langly demanded, thrusting his hand out. "Why?" "I want to call in!" "Langly, we already have tickets, let's leave it at that." Mulder said, stifling a yawn. "Ah, come on Mulder, we can get closer..." Mulder was too tired, so he handed Langly the phone. He was caller 17. Route 495 July 21st 4:30 A.M. "Here we are!" Announced Ellen, parking the car and stepping out. All four of the woman stretched and cracked their bones until they were satisfied that they could walk. Ellen popped the trunk and they gathered their things. They trudged into the hotel and explained that they had reservations for the corner suite. The man at the reception desk looked at them strangely. Maybe it was strange that four women had booked one of the honeymoon suites. They took the two room cards and made it up to their room without collapsing. After all four were changed and ready for bed, they turned on the television and talked like it was old times. They fell asleep at exactly 6:12 A.M., but what did they care? The concert wasn't until seven that night. 5:23 A.M. Room 314 Royal Sonesta Hotel Langly and Mulder were both fast asleep, fully clothed. 3:12 P.M. Room 522 Royal Sonesta Hotel All four women had managed to get eight uninterrupted hours of sleep. Now they were freshly showered and dressed, ready for the concert that night. Ellen suggested that they go out for some food, and that was voted on by everyone. The women drove around until they came upon a little restaurant called C.J. Scooters, and decided they would eat there. They slipped into a booth and began the process of eating. No one was more excited about the concert than Maya. She had been a fan since they emerged out of Canada in 1988. They sat, talking about the band and aimlessly chatting. Once they had ordered and eaten, it occured to Scully how much she had missed 'hanging out with the girls.' 5:43 P.M. Tweeter Center for the Performing Arts Mulder stared around at the masses that had gathered on the lawn. It was still about an hour a half until and the place was already packed with people. "Good thing we got here early Mulder, huh?" Mulder nodded dumbly, eyeing the couples on blankets. A group of girls laid on a blanket next to them, chatting and laughing. Mulder directed his eyes back toward the stage where a local band was setting up to play. Langly lounged on the ground, propped up by his elbows. Mulder was adorned on casual clothes for once. He had on one of his form- fitting gray tee-shirts, and a pair of Docker's shorts. Langly was in his usual clothing, but this time, no Ramones tee-shirt, he was wearing one with a thumbs up sign on the front. The two sat and listened to the warm up band in silence, waiting for the main act. 6:34 P.M. Tweeter Center for the Performing Arts The four women got into the arena without much of a hassle, walking in and finding a bare spot on the lawn. They laid the blanket down and left Diane to watch the things. The other three went to the tee-shirt booth, where they all bought tee's of the band, just for the hell of it. Scully bought a black one with the weird design from the cover of Maroon on it. She threw it on over her current shirt. Then the group went to the concession stand and Scully's friends forced her to get a beer. They walked back to the blankets, beers in hand. They sat there and listened to the warm up bands for awhile. At 7:02, the real opening band came on and performed. By this time, the three women Scully had come with were a bit tipsy, as was she. They fought their way up tot he front of the lawn, right against the bar. They sang along with the opening band. "I'm everything you want, I'm everything you need..." It was growing cooler now, as the crowd danced and sang along. And it finally hit Scully. She felt more out of character than she ever had. And she liked it... alot. 7:54 P.M. Mulder had been dragged up to the front of the crowd by a more than persistant Langly. They sat down on the dirt/sand and waited for the Barenaked Ladies to come out. All of a sudden, the lights dimmed, and there was a loud screaming coming from all around them. "The Barenaked Ladies would like to ask that during this performance you use no: camera, video recorders, audio recorders, DAT recorders, any electronic device of any kind, flamethrowers, sharp objects, blow up dolls, radioactive devices, air conditioner units, motor vehicles, macaroni and cheese, pants, pants, shirts or undergarments..." And then the music came up, amongst the screams. "I tend the wheat fields, that make your bread..." Langly was on his feet and screaming. Once in awhile, he would check his hidden cam device, and check on their car. And several times, the gunman would check around for any suspicious looking people. Other than that, the two acted as normal human beings. 9:13 P.M. Scully's friends were all, all out drunk. She was on her way there, after having four beers, when she hadn't taken a drink since... since last New Year's at her mother's. She was singing along now, and acting giggly, something she never did. As she was dancing, she accidentally bumped into the man behind her. She spun around, eyes closed in a drunken bliss. Now decided that she wouldn't be her normal self, she allowed a seductive smile to spread across her face. She slowly opened her eyes. "Sorry." She said dreamily. "That's ok-, Scully?" Mulder asked, quite surprised that his button down, let's not smile, I don't dance, sing, or cry, Agent Scully was standing right in front of him. Seven hours from where he had left her. In the ONE place that he had least expected her to go this weekend. And there she was, in her Gap Capri's and green scoop neck shirt. She was even wearing Doc Marten sandals. He was... surprised... to say the least. "Mulder? Wha- what are you doing here?" Even in her drunken haze, some of her normal compsure came back. She steadied herself and looked into his eyes. At that moment, Langly looked over, stared for a moment and said, "The two of you are SOOO whacked!" He proceeded to laugh until he cried. "Langly, this is what the bet was for. Byers and Frohike thought it was a waste of time." He was still a little breathless, seeing his partner in Massachusetts, of all the places she could be, she just happened to be here, in front of him. "Oh, alright." She said. Neither of them knew what to say. So they didn't question the others motives. Ellen turned around, a wild smile on her face, presuming to find Dana going wild, not staring up at her partner... HER PARTNER!?!? "Dana? Isn't that-" "Yes. It. Is." Scully said, still looking at Mulder, questioningly. "Why is he-" "Lost a bet." She said, it was barely audible. "Oh, well then." Ellen's smile grew. "Hello Fox." "Hi, ummm..." "Oh! Right, Mulder this is my best friend Ellen." Scully gestured with her hand. Not looking at either of them. "Nice to meet you." Mulder said, looking from one to the other. Ellen spun back back just as fast as she turned around the first time. "Alcohol, my permanent accessory. Alcohol, a party time nessesity..." Not knowing what to do next and finding herself in a very uncomfortable and unreal situation, she turned back toward the stage. She began to dance as she had been before. Langly was now jump and singing in time with the music. The surveilence of their car now forgotten. All of Scully's friends were also singing and dancing witht the music. Mulder was totally lost as what to do, but as the tempo of the music changed, and Ed Robertson began to speak, he just did what came naturally. "Yeah, um... I love you too! Yeah, this is from a CD I'm sure not too many of you have, it's called, 'The Cat's Litter Box'... yes it is... we hope you enjoy it...here we go..." "You walked into the room, and the whole place stopped to notice. Standing next to you, I feel hopeless and you know this. I've never been ashamed of my attraction. I'd be happy if you gave me just a fraction..." Mulder wrapped his arms around Scully, resting his chin on the top of her head, moving them in time to the music. She closed her eyes slowly. Though she was three sheets to the proverbial wind, she knew what felt right, and what didn't. And this did. So when the music stopped, and another one came on, she didn't pull out of his grasp. "If I had a million dollars, I would buy you a house..." Both of them were singing along with the rest of the audience. As they did to the next three songs, but when the fourth came on, Mulder lost it. "I met you, before the fall of Rome. And I begged you to let me take you home..." Mulder hadn't quite danced in awhile, so he just shook as best he could. Now he was singing at the top of his lungs, and she just joined in. After the song was over, he went to wrapping his arms around her again. He whispered one last thing before getting lost in the music. "Hey Scully, feel like getting Barenaked?" THE END or in BNL land FIN! I hope you all got a kick out of that, and I know, THAT COULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN! Only in the happy land of fan fic and BNL, so I say, when the muse hits, write what it feeds ya! Don't care what anyone else thinks! AND MAYA! I HOPE YOU GET TICKETS!!!! ~Leslie Scully9485@hotmail.com