From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 12 Sep 2003 12:47:07 -0000
Subject: NEW: Basic Black by philiater
Source: direct

Reply To: philiater1@aol.com


Title: Basic Black
Author: Philiater
Category: S, Vignette. 
Rating: PG
Timeline: Occurs during the beginning of  TINH. Major 
Scully angst warning.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were. They belong to CC and 
company.

Third in the color series-follows Winter White and Liquid 
Gray. Written for the Haven 500 word challenge 'You're 
Having my Baby'.
Thanks to Marybeth for suggesting the title and to Sybil for 
the challenge to continue the series.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Winter has finally come to North Carolina. Snow blankets 
all the other graves except yours. Your grave is still too 
new; a raw and muddy scar on an otherwise pristine vista.

I know the funeral was only a few days ago, but I needed to 
come back here alone. I need to tell you something I 
couldn't before you left for Bellefleur. When Skinner came 
back alone, he was the first person I told. 

I'm pregnant.

Pregnant, even though I'm supposed to be infertile. 
Pregnant, in spite of the failed invitro attempt last year. 
Pregnant, even though you're dead.

I've know for a few months now, but I'm still shocked by 
the idea. I think Skinner is, too. He's been watching me like 
a hawk to be sure I'm all right. I tell him I'm fine, the way I 
used to tell you. I've become a smooth liar.

I wish I could tell you how this happened. Of course, if you 
could speak, you'd probably say that I am a doctor and I 
*should* know how. 

Yes, we did things the old fashioned way; one of the few 
things we have done the old fashioned way. Making love 
with you was one of the rare perfect acts I've performed in 
this life. Another was telling you I loved you before you 
left.

And I do love you and miss you so much.

I'm pregnant Mulder. Is that good news?

The awful morning sickness has finally passed and I'm 
beginning to show a little. My new partner finally found 
out by accident. I never told him. He hasn't said much, but I 
don't really expect him to either. He knows enough to be a 
silent partner about such things.

Part of me is fearful that this baby is an abomination, an 
alien atrocity committed on my body like the abduction and 
ova harvesting. I wake at night after dreaming of you and 
the baby; confusing you in my mind as the same person. 
You are not. I will not let them make me believe we created 
an abomination.

I keep wondering what I will tell this baby about you. How 
can I adequately describe the seven years we spent 
together? How can I put all the anger, pain, fear, and love 
into words alone? How can I express what you have meant 
to me and what we shared together; that no matter how 
badly a case turned out, at least we had each other at the 
end of the day? 

I don't think I can, but I'll try. For the baby's sake I'll try.

I have to go now. They'll be frantic if I'm out of their sight 
for too long.  I'll come back to visit and tell you more, 
because there is so much more to tell you.

We have time; all the time in the world now that winter has 
come to North Carolina.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
End
Came in at just a little under 500 words.