From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Wed, 14 Jun 2000 11:27:21 -0500 Subject: Beside Me (1/1) by Amanda Barnes Source: direct Reply To: abarnes@mis.net Title: Beside Me Author: Amanda Barnes Category: SRA, MSR Keywords: Bill Scully Spoilers: Requiem Summary: A 9 a.m. obstetrician appointment Feedback: The good, the bad, the ugly at: abarnes@mis.net Rating: PG (language) Disclaimer: The X-files and all properties thereof belong to Chris Carter and 1013 productions. This is intended only for reader enjoyment and no money has exchanged hands. Distribution: If you want it, you got it. Just keep my name and email address with it. Note: My betas are either a.) Just home from the hospital with two new babies (Kyle Christopher and Gillian Sofia), or b.) Living in Australia and have not seen Requiem yet. So, this has not been beta read (this is becoming a nasty habit of mine)...forgive me. I've never directly submitted to Ephemeral before. If this looks terrible, forgive me. Beside Me (1/1) He sits beside me, drawn in and tense. His eyes stare straight ahead and his back is ramrod straight. He has not spoken to me since he arrived this morning to pick me up. Finally sick of the silence, I lean over and whisper to him, "Remind me not to schedule my next obstetrician appointment for 9 a.m." He turns his head towards me and I receive a patented Bill Scully glare. I raise my eyebrows at him but Bill is having nothing to do with me. He returns his attention to the powder blue wall in front of us, ignoring me again for the moment. I feel more alone in his presence than I would have felt without him. Upon learning of my pregnancy, Bill had ranted over the phone at me for a full hour. Phrases such as "That sorry son of a bitch...", "Goddamn bastard...", and "...crazy-assed lunatic..." were frequently used during that hour along with the dreaded, "Are you sure he didn't just leave you, Dana?" Refusing to cry I had calmly told my older brother to go to hell and had hung up the phone. Today, out of nowhere, he shows up at 8 a.m. to drive me to my appointment. His eyes bulged upon seeing my five-month pregnant belly; like me Bill has always been a 'seeing is believing' kind of person. I'm sure he had hoped my pregnancy was just a figment of my imagination or even the product of alien intervention. I suppose it is hard to face the fact that your baby sister is pregnant By a man you hate. Giving up on Bill for the moment, I glance around the office at the other women brave enough to take early appointments. In the far corner I see a young woman sitting very close to a young man who is undoubtedly the father of her baby. He is pouring through the pregnancy magazines left out for us to read, and the look on his face is euphoric. He cannot wait to be a daddy. I close my eyes and imagine that it isn't Bill sitting next to me, but rather it is Mulder, and that the hand stroking my belly isn't mine but is his as well. The pain of missing Mulder hasn't even started to heal. I lie awake at night fearing the worst. I dodge sympathy as often as I can. With each passing month, however, it is harder to avoid it; without ever having walked down the aisle, I have become Mulder's widow. Bill nudges my arm and I am pleased to realize that my name has been called. I rise with minimal difficulty, and with Bill behind me, we follow the nurse into the inner office. Once inside, I am given a white and pink paper gown to change into, and am told to 'make myself comfortable' on the table. I change quickly in the small bathroom, and emerge back into the office just as my obstetrician walks in. "Dana!" She exclaims warmly, "Who is this you've brought with you?" Dr. Josephine Cager and I have known each other for several years now. She knows who Mulder is, she knows that Mulder is gone, and she is always concerned for my safety. As Josephine is my gynecologist, she and I had many detailed discussions after my abduction. Luckily for me, Josephine took it all in stride. I am so glad she will be the doctor to deliver my baby. "Josey, this is my brother Bill. Bill, this is my doctor, Josephine Cager." Nodding stiffly at her, Bill pumps her hand obligatorily. "Good, good." Turning her attention to me, Josephine asks, "How are you? Are you experiencing any pain, any bleeding?" I shake my head no. "I'm very lucky, Josey." I say with a smile, "This pregnancy seems to be progressing normally." Josephine nods. "Knowing the risks, I've kept my fingers and toes Crossed for you. Now, today we are just going to take an exploratory look, see if we can get a wave, maybe a summersault, and...the sex of the baby?" I nod eagerly, trying to ignore the pain of Mulder not being here to witness this along with me. He would not care whether the baby was a boy or a girl, but he would have loved to have placed a bet on it with me. "Ok, then, Dana. Lay back. Bill, you come and sit next to her...yes, right there." She directs Bill to sit at my left, so that we both have a clear view of the small monitor. Josephine keeps the tube of jelly between her hands for a moment trying To warm it, but still I start when she puts it onto my stomach. After a moment she picks up her transducer and places it on my belly, putting gentle pressure onto it. After a minute or so of searching, Josey grins. "Oh! Dana, there's the head," she points to a tiny bulb on the screen, "and here's an arm, the back, buttocks...and the front...is..." Josephine is concentrating the transducer right below my belly button, "here...ok, Dana. Here it is. Moment of truth. What's your guess?" "I don't know why, but my gut is saying boy. Am I right?" I peer at the small monitor trying to make it out for myself. "Mommies are almost 98% right, Dana. Yes, that's definitely a boy in there!" she exclaims. Tears begin to stream down my face. I turn to face my still silent brother and I see tears on his own face. "Bill?" I ask My brother turns to me. "Dana," he whispers, "you're having a baby." I nod. "A boy for Matthew to play with." "What would...Mulder think about this?" Bill asks, not out of spite, but with real curiosity. I wipe my tears with the back of my hand while I collect my thoughts. "Mulder would grin and say, 'Scully! Another Knicks fan!' and then he would probably ask if instead of getting the ultrasound on video he could get it on DVD." Bill gives a small snorting laugh at this. He takes my hand in his. Josephine looks at me and smiles. "So, would you like a copy of the video?" I nod. Bill squeezes my hand. "We'll take this over to Mom's and watch it," he says. He sits beside me, warm and comforting. He holds my hand. And strangely, he renews my hope. End. More notes: The DVD comment I gave Mulder came from my friend Marlena's husband. Mar is 4 months pregnant, and Ben actually asked if he could get the sonogram on DVD...! I hope everyone enjoys this story...I enjoyed writing it, and I hope it isn't too close to any other post-Requiem fic. I've only seen one other that had Bill in it. But, I've always been of the opinion that you can't have too many Bill Scully stories...Oh, one more thing...I have minimal knowledge concerning ultrasounds. I hope I didn't screw up too badly.