From: UHill <uhill@aol.com>
Date: 31 Aug 1998 14:48:46 GMT
Subject: NEW:  The Birds & The Bees by UHill

Title:  The Birds and The Bees
Author:  UHill
Rating:  G
Category:  Badfic.  Very bad.  And a Vinaigrette too.
Spoilers: Through The End
Archive:  Sure
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.  They belong to 1013 and Fox, and I'll
surely not profit from this.

Summery:  Yes, it's been hot here, provoking some comatose thoughts.

The Birds and The Bees


Part I 

The Chickadee

This coma is for the birds.  I'd like to say that I know why the caged bird
sings, but for me, it's more like a whine.  There's no one to blame but myself.
 My cardinal sin was returning to Washington from Eastern Europe on a lark.  I
told Fox that there were things I wanted to get back to, but the fact is, there
are more doves than hawks since the Bush/Quail administration.

The real action is in the X Files.  Gibson Praise, the ultratelepathic chess
prodigy, ducked an assassin's bullet, and was suddenly as valuable as the goose
that laid the golden egg.  Conflicting groups descended on him like vultures. 
It was my job to protect him, but I failed.  

The truth is hard to swallow.  I was never a mother-hen type, not like that
red-headed Scully.  She obviously hasn't learned her place in the bureaucratic
pecking order.  She didn't squawk when it was her tern to watch the kid.  Not
being a night-owl, I fell asleep when I was supposed to be on guard.  I wanted
Scully to be the one to make a mistake.  I wasn't above being a stool-pigeon,
especially not if it would make Fox eat crow after he said he's done okay
without me.

But that's not how things worked out.  Here I am, cooped up in a hospital bed,
wrendered helpless.


Part II

The Queen Bee

This medically induced coma isn't so bad.  The droning and humming of my
respirator is rather soothing after my misadventure with D'mitri.  Being a
Special Representative to the Secretary General is a honey of a position, but
the stress was starting to give me hives.

I almost bumbled the sting operation my Waspish superiors sent me on when I
realized I had to seduce Alex Krycek.  Once he slipped his arm(s) beneath my
yellow jacket, I felt a warm buzz that completely overtook my senses.  Our
venomous words were silenced.

Despite my well-manicured superior's raid on the Russian ship, D'mitri turned
out to be more than we bargained for.  By the way people are swarming over me
here, I'm assuming that I'm not out of the woods just yet.


End

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