From: TeaL Date: Tue, 7 Dec 1999 19:08:43 -0800 (PST) Subject: Repost: BLACK Source: direct Title: Black Author: TeaL E-mail: Talitha_1121@yahoo.com Constructive criticism will be read and noted, Abusive flames will be used to keep TFO's Funeral pyre ablaze for all eternity. Classification: VA Rating: PG Summary: This is the sequel to "Shelter" Best if you read that first. Mulders POV. Dedicated to: Everyone who wrote me asking for Mulder's POV. I always like a challenge :) Disclaimer at end of fic. "As the walls are closing in And the colors fade to black And my eye's are falling fast and deep into me And I follow the tracks that lead me down And I never follow what's right I wonder sometimes when they see all the sadness and pain the truth brings to light" BLACK By TeaL I couldn't sleep. Stretching out on the couch, trying to find a more comfortable position I let my mind drift into dangerous territory. Nightmare territory. My sister I still remember everything, every moment we shared. How I used to tease her in a loving yet cruel brotherly way. The sparkle in her eyes when she laughed. I will forever remember those times. Happier times encased in a youthful innocence. I never believed we would ever grow up. I never believed I would lose her forever. Now I believe. Here, alone, in the dark silence of night my mind focuses on the darker times. I lie thinking only of the black events which occurred when I lost her. The night she was taken from me, a night's events so deeply burned into my soul I know there is no escaping them. I am cursed, cursed because even if I wanted to forget that night I can't. But the truth is, I don't want to forget. Even if it means never sleeping again I must hold on to what I have. Hold on to those memories of painful times. They are all I have of her now, apart from the odd photograph. And even if I can't trust these memories to be my own I still can't let go. I will *never* let go. Slowly noise begins to filter into my apartment, into my semi-conscious state from the city outside my sanctuary. My forever betraying shelter. My demons follow me no matter how hard I attempt to shut them out. I listen to the sounds below, taking some comfort in the fact they have helped to diminish all lingering thoughts of my sister for a moment. I don't want to forget her, but I will surely go insane if I *constantly* torment myself with her image. Sirens wail in the distance. Beautiful, haunting goddesses that lure sailors to their death with their gift of song. Or perhaps just an ambulance racing another tortured soul to the ER. Either way it will almost undoubtedly end up with another life lost. Another life selfishly dragged under into the cold darkness. Unrelenting black. A phone rings. Someone's friend pouring out their heart after a bad day. Perhaps a lover ending a once strong relationship. Or even the ER doctor calling for someone to id the body. I snap back into reality as I realise it's *my* phone and answer it expecting the worst at this hour of night. "Mulder" After a brief pause I hear the softest sound. "Mulder, would you mind coming over for a bit?" I instantly recognise the voice. Dana Scully My partner My best friend Yet her voice sounds so small, so faraway, so unlike her. "I'll be right there", I quickly answer her and replace the phone in it's cradle. I suspect she's been thinking also. Nasty habit. The End Feedback :lovingly cherished at Talitha_1121@yahoo.com Disclaimer: Nothing XF related belongs to me. All hail the almighty CC. I am but a meek servant girl who means you and your tormented creations no harm. "Black" lyrics belong to the beautiful inspirational Sarah McLachlan. C. July 26 1999 TeaL's fanfic http://www.angelfire.com/ms/msrfanfic Tali's Asylum for Sappy Shippers http://www.angelfire.com/nm/Talitha/