From: Karl & Betty Schendel Date: Sat, 27 Jun 1998 18:57:56 -0400 Subject: Bob Story-submission 1/1 Title-Musings of a Black Oil-Like Substance named Bob 1/1 Author-Andrea Derrin Classification-Humor, I hope! Rating-somwhere between PG and PG-13 Spoilers- Piper Maru/Apocrypha Summary- Ever wonder how the Black Cancer REALLY is?? Well, wonder no more! Here is his version of things. Disclaimer- Everything X-Files belongs to CC, 1013 Productions and Fox network. I wish the Black Cancer AND Krycek belonged ot me because they're just soooo cute and cuddly. Okay, I'll shut up now! -------------------------------------------------- Musing of a Black Oil-Like Substance Named Bob 1/1 -------------------------------------------------- Ah gee, how do I get myself into these things??? One minute I'm safe inside that guy that I possed, what was his name? Krycek? Anyway, the next minute I'm being thrown up by this same creature. What, aren't I a good person to be with? It's not that Krycek was bad or anything. Hell, he was better than my last host. Some woman. I forget her name now. She didn't even have enough sense to use the fucking woman's room. Gee, can we be anymore obvious? A woman in the men's room!! Now don't get me wrong or anything, I like reproducing as much as the next , um, thing. But at least I have enough sense to go into the proper bathroom!I think my possession of her pushed her over the edge. But I'm rambling. Mother always said I did that too much. But rambling is better than silence. By the Great Black Thing, I think I've been around humans too long. Maybe next time I'll use a dog or some other animal as my host. A while back I spotted this really cute dog named Heinrich. I think he was a pug. He would be interesting! But back to my story. How I love just griping!! After Krycek threw my up I was like, Hello, what do you want me to do now?? So I took the logical course and slithered into the nearest space I could find. It turned out to be a space ship but not one of my peope's ships. It was too big for that. I'll bet that Syndicate is holding some poor Reticulans prisoner or something and this is their ship. Poor things. I really like Reticulans! My species, whom I'll call the Black Cancers cause humans can't pronounce our language, are really quite peaceful. We only take over human bodies on Earth because prolonged exposure to Earth's atmosphere is deadly to us. OF course, then those old fogeys in New York think that we are invading the Earth and are going to destroy humankind. That's not us! More likely that bounty hunter and his race will destroy Earth. But of course they trust them because they can change to look like humans. What a sad world this is!! Not all humans are stupid, though. Those two FBI agents are pretty quick on the draw. And Krycek, who is sitting in a corner somewhere, is also really bright. Too bad he's stuck in here. I hope he can kill that smoking bastard who seems to be the assassin in the Syndicate. I really hate that man! I wouldn't possess him in an eon and neither would any other self-respecting Black Cancer. Which reminds me. I haven't told you my name! How silly of me. If you want to sit here and listen to me gripe about the unfairness of the universe you have a right to know my name! Um, I guess you should call me Bob. my true name sounds a little like it but is impossible for you to pronounce. Back to my gripping!! Poor Krycek is still huddled in a corner. Hopefully he'll come out soon. I can kinda speak the language of Earth, it's just hard for a long period. I can only stay out for about 20 minutes anyway so it's no big problem. Hey look, he's actually getting up!! Uh oh, he's just banging on the door. Doesn't that boy have enough sense not to bang on metal doors with your bare hands?? And if he keeps up that yelling, he's going to loose his voice! I guess I should stop him. Next day, same place Hey, still here. Yeah, like I have any other place to go. I managed to get Krycek to stop the banging by scaring him. Now he's in that corner again. I did talk to him a little last night. After the initial scare, I found that he was quite interesting. He told me about his childhood and I told him about mine, what little of it there was. Then that Smoking Man came by. He said that if Krycek would tell him where this tape was he'd let him out. Of course, my boy refused. Always putting honor above self-protection. I guess that's kinda noble. I had too rest a little then I went back out. Me and Alex, that's his first name, are making a plan. Hopefully it can work. we have become quite good friends. He promised that if he got out he would buy a rat or something so that I could be with him and travel with him. We'll be trying out our plan soon so I'd better rest. Unfortunately, the plan involves me possessing Alex for a little until he can buy me an animal. Oh well, we'll see how it goes. May the Great Black Thing be with you Alex!! -------------------------------------- well, you like?? this is only my second piece so be nice!! Flames will be read then fed to my younger sibling. She likes those things. Feedback REALLY, REALLY wanted at schendel@fyi.net My kin gracuosly let me use their addy. Thanks!! -Evil will always triumph because good is dumb!-Dark Helmet, Space Balls (funny movie) And just as a last note, the Great Black Thing is the Cancer's God. I couldn't think of a good name! And If ya want me to, I'll do a sequel.