From: "Leslie Cummings" Date: Sat, 26 May 2001 06:21:53 -0000 Subject: submissions Source: direct Title: Blind Author: Barenaked Bostonian Feedback: Please. Summary: Scully is thinking about where the most important relationship of her life is heading. Disclaimer: I do not own them damnit! Distribution: Whatever. It's all good. Rating: PG Category: MSR ************************************************************************************************* I hate the way that people place their relationships on some sort of high pedestal. The envision it in the light of God, or in the good graces of love. But it's not true. One of their pair is always unfaithful. Always, mistrust and lies crust along the edges until it is swallowed whole. And then the impending end occurs and you go your separate ways. And that is why I refuse to allow myslef to love my partner. We are the very best of friends and may not seem it the way our social lives look, but we know each other inside out. I know his every fear. His every desire, one of which is myself. And he knows that I desire him. Oh, I do, with every possible fiber of my being. But he frightens me. It is his arrogance that frightens me. His impatience and his lust for tht truth that scares me. Because I cannot live up to the woman he envisions me as. I shouldn't have to. And I won't. He holds me up as some virgin queen, as a certain Mary who will save him, and the world. Then everything will go back to normal, and we will go on living a little happy existence. But it can't, and I curse myself because none of my thoughts, in theory, make sense. I can put up with his arrogance and every other flaw he owns, because I do love him. And that scares me. That we can be together and we will be together. That we *are* together, now and everything is perfect. I can't believe that nothing will go wrong. It's as if I am setting myself up for a big downfall. "Morning sleepyhead." he says and kisses me on the forehead and all of my previous thoughts go flying out the window. The window that the fall sunlight is now pouring through. I look up at him and he smiles, a gentle smile. And I go back to sleep with my head on his chest. I wake up at nine that morning and he is still underneath me, and he is still smiling. I keep wondering why he does this all the time. I love the warmth, I don't really care who it is underneath me, I mean I do but I don't, I just want to enjoy the warmth and the man. The man more so. I think that I hum, and he rubs my back lightly. He hums back. I try to get out of bed, but he doesn't let me. He holds me to him and I laugh. We have to get up for work. We have to, so we call in sick. *END* Fluff at 2:14 in the morning.