From: "Leslie Cummings" Date: Sun, 22 Apr 2001 21:00:33 -0000 Subject: submissions Source: direct Title: Bored at 3:00 A.M. Author: The Bostonian Bitches Archive: Have fun, keep my name and stuff like that. Rating: R, for a word of two. Disclaimer: I don't think I own them, I can't remember, it's three in the morning and.Z.z.ZZZ. Summary: Bored at 3:00A.M. (us and them) Feedback: Give me something to do at 3:00A.M.Scully9485@hotmail.com Thanks: First and foremost, the elves that awaken at three in the morning that take resident in Amanda's head. To the spider that lives in my head (that Kelly put there). Ummm, Kelly for being my comedian, you'll see her on SNL one day. Lisa and Ariana, just cuz. SkepticalScully who's fan fic I LOVE!! And to you people who actually decided to read this piece of crap. I am soooo sorry. "It's the Muppet show! It's time to play the music It's time to light the lights It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet show tonight... It's time to put on makeup It's time to dress up right It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet show tonight... Why do we always come here? I guess we'll never know It's like a form of torture to have to watch the show." As the theme music faded Kermit came onto the stage and proceeded to announce the first act. It was the chef, and he was making meatballs. After he added the salt one fell to the floor and bounced off the stage. Mulder sat up from the bed and cracked up laughing causing him to fall to the floor with a big bang. "Mulder, have you been getting into my double stuffed cookies again?" "Nmo Sscummy." He said and stuffed another delicious cookie into his mouth. MMMMMMMMM he thought to himself and continued to watch the hilarious antics of the Muppets on TV. The cookie crumbs littered Scully's bed. Brown bit were everywhere, including her pillow. "Mulder, don't get those crumbs everywhere." "Ummm, kay, Scllllli." He said around bits of cookie crumbs. He swept the little bits off of her bed and onto the floor. Mulder laid back down and continued to watch the Muppets. They were damn funny, even if they were meant for children to watch. Meatball, bounce, bounce, tee hee. Damn, this is funny! Scully entered the room. **Crunch, crunch, crunch!** "Muldeer!" She called him this frequently when she was pissed. Why? He didn't know. "What the hell happened to my carpet. He thought for a moment. "The Muppephones came inside and ate cookies, but they were messy. I told them to clean it up or you would put their asses in slings but they told me that they didn't have assess, because they're just heads." "Mulder, I want you on your knees until you pick up every damn piece of those cookies." "On my knees huh?" "Clean it up! Now!" she demanded and padded out of the room. "She can be such a party-pooper sometimes" he mumbled to himself. "I heard that, now get your rear in gear and start cleaning!" "Yes all mighty evil one." He said and searched for a vacuum of some sorts. He wasn't dumb enough to actually pick up the crumbs by hand for god's sake. Mulder went over to Scully's closet and opened the doors. `Wow she's got a lot of clothes' he thought to himself. `Hhhhhmmmmm should I close the doors or be nosy?' `Close door, nosy; close, nosy' `Ah, what the hell' So being the nosy little bastard he was he rearranged Scully's closet. By way of throwing everything to the floor. Once everything was littered around the room he started "investigating" the items that until 20 minutes ago had comfortably resided in Scully's closet. Meanwhile on the TV Sam Eagle was giving a speech on nudity in the world today. "Why did you know that underneath their clothing the entire population of the world is walking around completely naked! Is that disgusting?" Mulder however was too engrossed in his "investigations" to hear the TV or Scully's imminent approach, which would prove to be fatal to Mulder. As Scully stepped into the room, Mulder was wearing one of Scully's wrap around black skirts. One of the more expensive ones. "Mulder, what the.." "Ta, ta, ta, ta touch me! I wanna be diiiiiiiirty!" he sang. "I'm sure that you do Mulder. BUT MY FLOOR DOES NOT!" "But Mully is hungggggy!" Mully said. "But Mully just ate his cookies." Sully said. The floor was spinning. Only to Mulder. "Mully, Muuuuuuuuuullllliiiiiitttttttttyyyyyooooooooooooooobb blaaaaaahhhhhh" The thing that looked like the former Scully said. "Sca-ah-sca.I think-ah, the coooooooooookies, yeah, uh, drug?" And then Mulder fell to the floor. ^Bunnies hopping. Scully stripping. Skinner is a wind up toy who jumps. The Gunmen wait tables at Applebees. Cool.^ "Next on Oprah." Mulder said aloud as he was being rushed to the hospital. "Do YOU want some Fruit Loops Scully? Fruit Loops are good, Fruit Loops are nice, Fruit Loops go good with cheese and rice." He was saying to the paramedic, Scully was not in the ambulence and the young man was thoroughly freaked out. "Kitty eat Fruit Loop, bacterium eat kitty, it's a circle thingy." He said laughing giddily. "They're all pretty colors, they make me fat. So get YOUR Fruit Loops today because the thing in my head says so now yeah." They finally arrived at the hospital and moved Mulder to the emergency room. There they concluded that the cookies were full of hallucinigens. Surprise, surprise. So, in the end Scully took him home and they fucked. They reproduced like rabbits. Humped like hares. Banged like bunnies. Fin. Thank you. By the Bostonian Bitches Leslie and Amanda