Subject: The Boss 1a Slash M/SK NC-17 From: grey853@aol.com (GREY853) Date: 18 Jan 1998 01:01:59 GMT The Boss I-1/2 by Grey Warning: Mulder/Skinner Romance ahead. If you don't get into that, go away now. Disclaimer: Woe is me, the following characters aren't mine, but I play with them just the same. They belong to Fox and Chris the man, but they don't do right by them. What else could I do but take charge for just a few brief moments? No harm intended, no harm done. Spoilers: The whole cancer thing is here and there's a bit about "Zero Sum". Rating: NC-17--just angst and sex in the second half, no violence. Yummy. Mulder felt very embarrassed sitting behind his desk with a raging hard-on. Thank god Scully had left a few minutes ago to get coffee. He brought both hands up to cover his face and lowered his head to his desk. He ached to touch himself, but refused. Instead he tried to direct the disturbing, erotic images in his mind to a dark corner away from his consciousness. He wanted to slap the offending visions , but unfortunately the thought of slapping something, or someone, just made him all that much harder. "Oh god," he groaned to himself. "Are you okay, Mulder?" The sound of Scully's sultry voice interrupted his misery and he snapped his head up. The humiliation of being caught in such a condition in front of his partner slightly withered his erection, but didn't remove the painful throb completely. He smiled weakly. "It must have been something I ate." "Or didn't eat. You didn't have breakfast this morning, and I do believe you skipped lunch. Why don't I get you something. You don't look right." "I'll be fine in a minute." "Are you sure you don't have a fever? You look flushed." She started to approach his desk, but he nervously waved her away. "No, I'm fine. It's just hot in here." Still worried, Scully continued. "It's not hot in here, Mulder. Really, what's wrong?" Taking a deep breath, Mulder shrugged and rubbed his face. "I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping very well. Nothing new." "If you say so, Mulder." Reluctantly, Scully let the subject drop. She turned her attention to some files stacked on her desk and looked back in frustration at Mulder. "Weren't you supposed to take these back to forensics to be reevaluated? Skinner made it perfectly clear, that the numbers needed to be double checked." Mulder closed his eyes and rubbed his mouth. He couldn't let himself think about Walter Skinner, not now, not with Scully standing right there. "Come on, Mulder. I know Skinner was rough on us this morning." "You mean on me." "Well, yeah, he was rougher on you, but that's just SOP. I do have to confess he has had a worse attitude toward you lately. He was a real bear this morning. I think I actually heard him growl at one point." Mulder stared down at his report, refusing to meet her intense blue eyes. "I thought it was worse than usual, too, but I also thought it was just me being paranoid. Face it, Scully. Skinner doesn't like me, but worse,he doesn't trust me." "Mulder, we're the best team he has. He respects you as an agent, but you have to admit, you've never given him much opportunity to like you. You hiss like a cornered tomcat every time he's in the room just doing his job. As for trusting you, hell, Mulder, you lie and mislead the man on a regular basis. What's to trust? Then, this morning you screwed up the reports big time. What the hell happened, Mulder? When I left yesterday, you said you had it under control." Mulder sank further down into his chair feeling and looking miserable. "Like you said, Scully. I screwed up. I really don't know what happened." Scully shook her head in bewilderment. Something wasn't right. It wasn't like Mulder to mess up on a case. He fucked up his life on a regular basis, but his cases were always top notch. "So, what's going on with you anyway? You've been distracted as hell lately." Mulder couldn't meet her eyes. There was no way he could tell her about the dreams and the almost constant fantasies that were making his life unbearable. Instead he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm just tired, that's all. Look, I reworked the reports. I just need those extra forensics tests done." "Okay, I'll tell you what I'm going to do just for you. I'll run them down to the lab and Katie can call up the results." Grateful he wouldn't have to go anywhere, he thanked her. After she left, he pushed back away from his desk and leaned his elbows on his knees. He felt so utterly fucked up, he couldn't even stand himself. The loud ringing of the phone startled him. He snatched it up before it could ring again. "Mulder here." "Mulder, this is AD Skinner's office. He'd like to see you up here right away." "Tell him I'll be there just as soon as Agent Scully gets back with forensics." "Don't bother with Agent Scully. AD Skinner said you were to come up alone." "He did?" "Yes, and Agent Mulder, he also said to not only bring the revised reports, but to bring your coat." "My coat? What for?" "He apparently wants a private word outside the office." A cold chill went through him. Skinner suspected his office of being bugged. "Okay, Kimberly. Tell him I'm on my way." Mulder looked at his watch and saw it was already 4:30. He dialed the lab and left a message for Scully. He'd get the results later and she should go home for the weekend since there was no new case pending. As he went over to get his coat, he suddenly realized he hadn't brought one today. He'd been in such a hurry to leave the loneliness of his apartment, that he'd rushed out in just a wool suit. What would Skinner say? He felt himself aching again. Whatever was happening, he'd have to deal with it later. If Skinner wanted a private talk outside of Smoking Man's ear shot, he wanted to listen. ******* As he arrived at Skinner's office, file in hand, the AD nodded at his secretary and said, "Kimberly, you can go home early today. Just make sure to put those new schedules through. Oh and tell your nephew congratulations on his wedding." "Thank you, sir, and you have a nice weekend, too." Kimberly flashed a covert look to Mulder and swiveled back to her computer. Skinner turned back to Mulder. "Where's your coat, Agent Mulder? I specifically asked you to bring it, along with the file?" He stared dejectedly at the file in hand. "I don't have one with me today." "No coat? It's 30 degrees out. What were you thinking? What if you'd had to go out on a case? What if your car broke down driving to and from work?" "Then I guess, I'd be cold, sir." Skinner shook his head and studied the man who refused to look up at him. He couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with his best agent lately, but he was on a mission to find out. This kind of carelessness and lack of focus couldn't go on. A man with Mulder's enemies and troubles couldn't afford this kind of distraction. Skinner was determined to find out the reason and when Walter Skinner wanted something, he usually got it. "Wait here, Mulder." He stepped back in his office and returned in just a moment with a long black leather coat. "Here, put this on. You're not going to walk around DC in this weather without wearing something to protect you." The young man took the coat, but draped it over his arm instead of putting it on right away. Mulder was at a loss to explain what the hell his boss was doing acting like some kind of guardian. He appreciated it and resented it at the same time. It was just another example of why he felt so incredibly confused whenever he thought about his boss. Skinner noticed how Mulder continued to resist his orders. He ignored the passive/aggressive behavior for the moment and headed out the door. When he turned the opposite direction from what Mulder expected, he asked, "Sir, aren't we going the wrong way?" Impatiently, Skinner responded, "Just follow me, Mulder. I'll explain when we get to where we're going." Clearing his throat while he managed to match his pace with the older man's, he asked, "Where exactly would that be, sir?" Skinner snapped, "Not now, Mulder. Just stop asking questions for a few goddamn minutes. And put your coat on like I told you. It's freezing outside. Scully will have my ass if you get pneumonia." Both angry and embarrassed by the harsh tone of the commands, Mulder could feel his face flush. Normally an agile person, walking with Skinner made him feel clumsy. However, he did finally manage to get on the coat. Oddly, it just fit. The Assistant Director and Mulder exited the building without speaking. Skinner set a quick pace, but Mulder matched his stride. He had to brace himself against the slap of the winds. Late season snow warnings had been issued for evening and the dark clouds made it pretty certain to be an icy night. Mulder was suddenly grateful that the AD had insisted on covering up, or he'd be freezing his ass off for sure. The only good thing Mulder could think of about walking in this mess was that he no longer felt aroused. Now if he could just figure out what the hell was going on, he'd feel a lot better. They'd walked about 15 minutes without a word. Suddenly Skinner took a left into a side alley. Mulder followed. They went through a door into a building that Mulder didn't recognize. Dimly lit, he could see that they were in a corridor like a hotel, but there was no front desk. They walked about 20 doors down the hallway before Skinner stopped, pulled out a key, and unlocked the one marked 34. Inside, Skinner flipped on a light. Dark wooden paneling lined the room which contained a leather couch and chair, an oak desk, a bureau, and a king size bed in the far corner. In another corner was a kitchette area which was also decorated with oak. Certainly not a hotel room, it was more like a one-room apartment. Skinner locked the door behind him and went over to one of the cabinets. He brought out a bottle of Scotch. "Would you like a drink? I've got beer or I can make some coffee if you want." Confused by the offer and the surroundings, Mulder managed a only slightly audible response. "I'm not much of a drinker." "Coffee then?" "No, this feels like one of those beer type days." "And that would be because?" "No particular reason. I just feel like a change." Skinner nodded slightly as he retrieved a dark ale from the fridge and handed it to Mulder. The young man remained standing in the room with a befuddled look on his face. The AD grinned in spite of himself. "Well, take off your coat and stay awhile." "Sure." Still acting like he was in some kind of fugue state, Mulder removed the coat Skinner had loaned him, and let him hang it with his own in the closet. Mulder noticed that he had several suits stored there as well. Skinner went back to the kitchen area, fetched his Scotch, and then sat down on the sofa. He loosened his tie before he spoke. "Sit down, Mulder. I think it's about time we talked." Swallowing hard, Mulder slumped down in the chair opposite his boss. He opened the file and said, "I'm sorry about the screw up this morning, sir. I'm not exactly sure how I managed to lose those forms, but I went back and rewrote the interviews. I think I can pull together enough of the other police reports to finish this up by tomorrow morning." "I'm not here to talk about the Lacey case, Mulder." "Then why are we here? By the way, where are we anyway?" "With the hours I put in, I keep this place as a necessary retreat. It's a lot closer than Crystal City and saves wear and tear on travel time. Now would you like to explain what's going on with you lately?" Uneasily, Mulder continued to hold the file and shuffle the papers. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean, sir." Skinner took a drink, but never took his eyes off the beautiful man before him. Mulder's brilliance dazzled those around him, but it was his dark, brooding nature that made him so damn vulnerable, so incredibly attractive to Walter Skinner. Despite his urge to take the other man into his arms, he never did. He was his superior and such action would not only be inappropriate, it would be far too dangerous. Mulder was straight and entirely too obsessed to be anything but trouble. Regardless, Skinner couldn't help but want to protect him and try his best to keep him safe from others who saw Mulder as different kind of threat. "Mulder, how is Scully doing?" The question sucker punched him for a moment. Recovering quickly, he simply said, "She's fine, sir. She can still do field work." "I know that, but how is she really?" Mulder leaned forward and put the folder down on the table between the two men. He rubbed his face while he talked suddenly feeling very tired. "She keeps telling me she's fine, but the nosebleeds come more frequently and last longer. She's pale and she had to go in for more tests last week. She's lost more weight. You've seen her. What do you think?" "I think she's getting worse." He paused watching Mulder lean into his own suffering. "So, how are you handling it?" Mulder gave a sarcastic snort. "Me? What's to handle? I'm not the one they abducted and gave cancer. I'm not the one who's body is being eaten away by itself. I'm fine." "Sure you are, Mulder. Keep telling yourself that." Exasperated, Mulder jerked his head up. "What the hell do you know about it?" "Get angry if it helps, Mulder, but you know I know about it." Remembering the secret he'd discovered about Skinner, Mulder leaned back wearily in his seat. "I'm sorry, sir. I know what you tried to do." It was Skinner's time to snort. "Yeah, well, that's the problem isn't it? I tried and failed." Skinner finished his drink and got up to retrieve the bottle. He sat back down before he spoke. "Ever since you found out that I made that useless deal with the smoking bastard, you've been avoiding me. You saved my ass by lying about the gun, and now you won't even look at me." Mulder shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He looked up, but couldn't maintain eye contact with the man who was driving him crazy. Just knowing that Skinner was willing to sacrifice himself and his principles to save Scully made his chest hurt. Skinner's honor meant everything to the AD. Even so, he was right. He had failed. "I know you tried. It was a futile gesture because we both knew he couldn't be trusted." "I should have followed my own advice." "It's hard to do that when someone you care about is suffering." "I know." Skinner's tone made Mulder glance up. He was pouring yet another drink and had the attitude of someone determined to get drunk. "Maybe you ought to slow down a little." Amused at Mulder's sudden concern, Skinner smiled. "Maybe, but what would be the point? I'm staying here for the night. I don't have to drive. It's the weekend. Fuck it. I'm tired." Mulder savored this surprisingly gruff side of his boss. He suddenly found himself thinking he should leave and go out into the cold where he'd feel less tempted to jump in the man's charming lap. Instead he reached for his beer and swallowed half the brew before stopping. "I know the feeling. Tired seems to be the popular state these days." Taking advantage of the changing mood, Skinner pushed for an answer. "So, why have you been avoiding me?" Mulder finished his drink and asked, "Could I have another one?" "Sure." Skinner got up carefully, took the empty, and went to the refrigerator. After getting another bottle, he turned around and couldn't help but admire Mulder from the back. He wanted to run his hands through Mulder's hair, but instead simply came around and handed him the drink before settling back on the couch. "Thanks." "No problem. Now, answer the question. I know what I did makes it harder for you to trust me, but, I think you of all people understand why I did it." Mulder nodded, but made no immediate reply. He remembered the crash of disappointment that had ambushed him when he'd first realized that Skinner had lied to him and broken his hard-earned trust. Finally he looked up and stared into Skinner's dark brown eyes while he spoke. "I know why you did what you did. I even in some way admire it. I know it couldn't have been easy. You must care about Scully a lot." Skinner cocked his head to the side. "I do, but not the way you think." "What do you mean?" "Scully is a wonderful woman. I admire her more than just about anyone I've ever known. She has a strength that I've rarely witnessed and a blazing intellect." "She's also gorgeous and has a great smile." "That, too. But more importantly, she's got heart." "Yeah." Mulder could feel himself sinking into a deep hole that had become a second home for him lately. Talking about Scully, knowing she was growing sicker as he breathed, made him feel terribly sad and useless. Skinner leaned forward and tried to get Mulder to meet his eyes again. "Mulder, I have to know what's going on. Why is it so hard to even be around me now? Surely I deserve at least an explanation." The heat in the room smothered him. He found it difficult to speak. "I know you do, sir, but I just can't give you one." "Why not? You can save my ass, but not respect me enough to even talk to me or even be in the same room with me without looking disgusted?" "I'm not disgusted. Never that. I've always admired you. You've pissed me off more times than I can count, but I've always respected you." "Then tell me what's going on. I know I've got to win back some of your trust, but have I lost your respect by what I've done?" "No, sir. It's me." Skinner shook his head. "I don't understand. Scully's sick. You can't go through this alone." "I was alone before. It's the story of my life." "But it doesn't have to be. Tell me what's really bothering you. It's more than Scully being sick." Leaning in and being more insistent. "Tell me, Mulder." "I can't." "Why not?" "Because I'm not sure myself and, frankly, what's going on is scaring the hell out of me." "More than alien bounty hunters and liver-eating mutants?" Mulder didn't even crack a smile. "Worse than even that." "Good god, tell me, Mulder." His tongue felt two sizes too big. "I can't. I'm not comfortable talking about this." "Mulder, trust me enough to at least try. You've got to tell me what's bothering you. Think about it. You've been screwing up at work, alienating every body." "Worse than usual?" "Lots worse. You won't even talk to me or Scully and you look like you haven't slept in weeks. This cannot go on. It's too dangerous to be this vulnerable." Mulder still resisted speaking. "Tell me, Mulder." He took another drink before he finally spoke. "Sir, did you ever question your sexual preference?" Skinner fell back against the couch as if shot. "What?" "Well, I can tell you didn't expect that." "No, I didn't. What are we talking about here? You're straight. I've never questioned that." "But what about you? You're obviously straight. You were married and a Marine. When you date, you date women." "So?" "So, you've probably never questioned what it was that made you who you were in the sexuality department. Well, up until a few weeks ago I didn't either. My sex life was pretty consistent." "I didn't know you were dating anyone." "I'm not. That's what I mean about consistent. I'm sure Scully has told you about my video collection." Skinner grinned and said, "Actually she hasn't, but I have been to your apartment, if you remember. I've seen the titles." "Yeah, well, with my schedule that's pretty much my sex life." "That seems pretty much a waste." Unsure how to take the comment, Mulder ignored it. He'd broached the subject and needed to continue before his courage failed him. "Sir, lately I've been having fantasies that are totally different from anything I've ever felt before, and I'm feeling a little confused." Worried about what he was about to hear, Skinner took a deep breath. "Mulder, fantasies are just that, fantasies. They can't hurt anybody. You're a psychologist. You know a healthy imagination can be therapeutic. Lord knows, you've got one hell of an imagination." Mulder grinned weakly before he sobered and spoke. "Yeah, well, my imagination had taken on a life of it's own and I'm having trouble understanding where it's going. It's making me very uneasy." "What the hell is it, Mulder?" "It's you, sir." end Boss I-1/2 The Boss I-2/2 by Grey Warning: Mulder/Skinner Romance ahead. If you don't get into that, go away now. Disclaimer: Woe is me, the following characters aren't mine, but I play with them just the same. They belong to Fox and Chris the man, but they don't do right by them. What else could I do but take charge for just a few brief moments? No harm intended, no harm done. Spoilers: The whole cancer thing is here and there's a bit about "Zero Sum". Rating: NC-17--just sex, no violence. Yummy. "What the hell is it, Mulder?" "It's you, sir." Stunned silence. Skinner put his drink down and shook his head. "You're kidding." He wanted to drown himself. "No, sir, I'm not. I don't understand it and I don't expect you to. I haven't slept in weeks. Every time I close my eyes, I start seeing you there, feeling you beside me." "And this bothers you?" Shocked at his boss's calm, soothing tone, Mulder answered, "More like freaks me out. I don't know where it's coming from. I've always been straight. My fantasies and tastes may be considered a bit daring, but they've always involved women." "Up until now?" "Yeah, and to top it off, nothing I do seems to make a difference. I can't focus on anything or anyone else. I'm sorry, sir. I know you must be offended by this. I just don't know what to do about it." "Why would I be offended?" "What?" Mulder raised his eyes to meet Skinner's. Not only did the older man look concerned, he seemed down right turned on. "Why would the idea of having sex with you offend me?" "I...I...uh..I guess because I'm confused?" "Mulder, for someone so very bright, you can be really thick. Being bisexual is something I accepted a long time ago. Looks like you might be a late bloomer, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. Granted our society is still so homophobic as to make being careful only prudent, but, hell, we're alone here. Be honest with yourself and with me." "Honesty is not the problem. This is just a completely new thing for me. It's scares me." Skinner lost the amused expression and his face took on a wonderful compassion. "Don't be afraid, not with me. I would never deliberately hurt you. I've wanted to tell you I felt the same way for a long time. I never approached you because you seemed so sure of your own sexuality." "Well, not anymore." "Come over here and sit next to me." "I'm not sure that's a good idea." Skinner tilted his head and studied the young man intently. Dark lashes covered deep hazel eyes. The pupils were dilated in the low light. His cheeks showed the flush of arousal and his skin glistened slightly. "We're alone here, Mulder. We're adults and both of us are so turned on it hurts." Mulder recognized the bulge in between Skinner's muscular legs and felt the heavy weight of his own erection. Unsure, but curious, Mulder managed to move onto the couch. Skinner's bulk felt incredibly warm and almost overwhelming. His muskiness assailed his senses, and Mulder felt slightly faint. An arm wrapped around his shoulder and he felt a shudder run through his body. "This is really not a good idea, sir." "No, it's not. It's probably one of the dumbest things either of us has done in awhile." Skinner pulled Mulder closer. His right index finger traced the edge of Mulder's jaw and moved to his lower full lip. He shifted and leaned in for a kiss. Contact sent fire through the young man's body. A tongue snaked its way into his mouth. A moan escaped. Skinner pulled back and whispered, "You like that?" "My god, yes." Mulder let himself be kissed again and then again. Skinner moved his hand across his chest and down to Mulder's crotch. He pressed firmly against the erection behind the taut fabric. Walter whispered a throaty demand, "Take off your jacket and shirt." Nervously Mulder stood and began to clumsily removed his upper clothing, watching Skinner stare at him, his face filled with desire. "Stand up." When Mulder stood, Skinner unbuckled his belt. Soon the pants dropped to the floor. With a quick motion, the cotton briefs were down and kicked to the side. Skinner suddenly stood and pulled Mulder over to the bed and pushed him onto his back. "Just relax. Let me do the work." Mulder complied. He could barely breathe much less do anything but let the incredible rush of sensation overwhelm him. His lover's hands roamed everywhere, while his tongue traveled a different route. Wet kisses licked his ears, his eye lids, and down his neck. A wet trail marked his collarbone. Meanwhile a hand had encircled his cock and Mulder thought he would explode. A large hand stroked him and massaged his balls. All Mulder could do was groan and pump into the powerful fist. Stopping for only a moment, Skinner stripped off quickly and leaned over him. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? God, I've wanted you forever." Mulder suddenly felt Skinner slide down off the bed. As he pulled Mulder's ass closer to the edge, he spread the well-muscled runner's legs further apart. A warm mouth engulfed Mulder's swollen cock and he groaned in wonderful pain. Skinner licked the precum dripping like a fountain. A finger took some of it and without warning, slid into his young agent's ass. Rocked by the sensation, Mulder immediately came, squirting into Skinner again and again. He thought his back would break as he arched off the bed. "Jesus. Fuck. Oh my god." When the lights stopped flashing, he felt Skinner start licking him again. Still slightly breathless, Mulder whispered huskily, "Let me, touch you, Walter." A low chuckle escaped Skinner's throat as he climbed back onto the bed. "So, now it's Walter. Do I start calling you, Fox?" "No, I like Mulder." "So, do I." "I can tell. My god, I've never in my life come like that. Thank you." "You're more than welcome." Mulder rolled over and kissed Walter deeply while he took him into his hand. He pushed him onto his back and got on top. Rubbing his erection against his groin and then his leg, he started to stroke him the way he liked to touch himself. Walter's head fell back loosely and he groaned. Easing himself down, he decided that it was time to see what cocksucking was all about. The tangy taste of his lover aroused him. Licking the edges and tracing the head with his tongue made the huge cock twitch in his mouth. Rubbing the balls with one hand and guiding it with the other, he took it as deeply as he could into his throat. He loved the bitter flavor, but the size of it was too much. He started to withdraw, but felt hands grab the sides of his face. He let Walter guide his movements and breathed the best he could. The balls grew tight and suddenly with a jerking spasm, he felt warm, thick liquid fill his mouth. He almost choked, but controlled himself, swallowing as fast as he could, part of the fluid dripping out and down his chin. After a few moments, Walter's body relaxed and his shaking grip eased. Mulder climbed back up on his partner and kissed him. Walter tasted himself on Mulder's lips. "Damn, you're good to be a virgin." "I take it you liked my oral skills." "You've always had the sexiest mouth in the bureau." Walter reached up, and pulled Mulder closer to kiss him again and wrap him in his arms. Mulder returned the embrace. He'd never felt this way in his life. He wasn't quite sure what it was he was feeling. Once again he felt terribly confused, very tired, and needing more than a little reassurance. Noticing the quiet, Walter kissed the top of Mulder's head and asked, "What's wrong?" "I'm not sure." "About what? Us?" "About anything. I have to tell you this shakes up my whole self-image." "It does, huh? Well, maybe you just need a little help rebuilding." Walter looked deeply into his young friend's eyes. "I love you, Fox Mulder. I don't say that easily and I've only said it to very few others. I'm saying it to you, because I want you to hear it, to understand it." "But I don't understand it. How could you love me?" Skinner shook his head, gave Mulder a deep kiss, and rolled him onto his back. He sat up straddling his thighs and stared down at him while rubbing his well-developed chest. "How could I not? You're the most brilliant man I know. You're beautiful and passionate and so fiery it's like looking at the sun. You blind me. From the first time I saw you, I was hopelessly at your mercy." Mulder looked up at Walter like he was crazy. "You're out of your mind. You've raked me over the goals more times than I can count." "True, because I couldn't afford to let you know how I felt. You're not the only one who gets scared. Some of us are downright terrified of our own depths of passion. How much I care about you scares me. You scare me. I never know what you're going to do." "Apparently, neither do I." Skinner started to rub Mulder's fuzzy chest and found himself getting hard again. He leaned over, stretching himself out so he could shift to the young man's side. He reached over and pulled up the wool afghan draped at the end of the bed. He covered them and then moved closer. While his hand stroked Mulder back to an erection, he continued to talk. "You said earlier that you thought I made the deal to help Scully because of my feelings for her." Breathing deeply as he spread his legs to let Walter fondle him more gently, he asked, "And?" "That's only partly true. I made the deal because I was worried about you. Without Scully to help and support you, I was afraid I might lose you." Mulder felt the stirrings of another orgasm. He closed his eyes and managed to say, "Lose me how?" "I was afraid you might hurt yourself or do something foolish that would get you killed." Suddenly, Mulder opened his eyes and looked up into Walter's eyes. He was crying. "My god, did you really think that?" He reached hand up and wiped away the tear, caressing the rough stubble of his cheek. "I would never do that?" "Never?" "Not now." Walter let his head drop to Mulder's chest. He heard the thumping heart and continued stroking. Mulder's eyes closed again. Walter lifted his head and in utter fascination, he watched as the breathing grew more ragged and the eyes squeeze tightly shut under the intense pressure of pleasure. He felt the warm, hardness tighten in his hand. Mulder pushed and suddenly jerked as he climaxed with a low whimper of relief. Walter held on tight until he finished. Then he leaned over and kissed the swollen lips. "You're so beautiful when you come." "It feels beautiful. Thank you." The two bodies spooned together. "Walter?" "What?" "May I stay with you tonight?" "Mulder, you can stay with me forever." A quiet moment rested between them. "This is very confusing." Walter smiled at the boyish tone. "I know. The first time is a head swimmer." "It's not just that. Being with a man, that's puzzling enough. I'm still not even sure about that part of the whole picture yet. But, it's you. My whole idea of what I am, and what we are, is completely fucked." "You can say that again." "I have to figure this out." "You don't have to do it alone." Mulder pushed back, leaning more deeply into Walter's strong arms. "I'm figuring that part out." "Relax. Nothing has to be figured out tonight either. You're tired. Just rest." Mulder rubbed the dark hair on his lover's arm as it wrapped around his neck. Despite the cozy feeling, he still felt unsettled by the situation. "You're going to have to be patient with me about this." "I've had a lot of practice in that area. Don't worry. It'll work out. We can do this." "I might screw up. I have a tendency to do that." "Mulder, you're always too hard on yourself. That makes it hard on everybody who loves you." Teasingly, he asked softly, "And who loves me?" "I do, Mulder. I do." Magic words. Unfamiliar words. Very scary words. Mulder suddenly felt drowsy. All the dreams that had tormented him and kept him awake for the last few weeks drifted away. He would let himself worry about the dangerous nature of his decision to fall for the boss later. Gradually he sank into a peaceful oblivion as Walter Skinner caressed him in his sleep. The End for now. The Boss 2: Wake Up Call by Grey Warning: Mulder/Skinner Romance ahead. If that sort of thing isn't for you, then go away. Summary: This is a sequel to "The Boss" which takes place after "Zero Sum", but before "Demons". Disclaimer: Fox and Chris Carter have all the good toys. I decided to borrow them for awhile. No harm is intended. I only want the right couple to get together for a little while. Archive: MKRA/MSSS OK, anywhere else as long as my name is attached. Rating: NC-17 just for sex, no violence. The Boss 2: Wake Up Call The light hurt his eyes, but no more than the freezing numbness that made its way up from his feet into his lower legs. Snow crunching beneath him, Mulder trudged toward the bent and gnarled tree just above the freshly dug grave. A wild bird called out like a high-pitched scream and startled him back to his senses. Why was he here? He couldn't remember. Awkwardly he continued up the barely cleared path. Bracing himself against the blast of frigid air, he wrapped his arms around his chest. Fighting back the sting of tears, he forced himself to look down into the pit before him. Scully, his beautiful red-haired friend and partner, lay on her side in an open coffin lined with crinkled azure satin. A flutter of white gossamer stirred around her like lifting lace. Her blue eyes were closed, shutting him out. In her arms she cradled the still form of his young sister Samantha. The child still wore the pink flannel gown from that awful night so many years ago. Huddled together in the dented earth, they lay like Madona and child. The wind suddenly stilled. Powder white settled down in soft layers over the quiet forms below him. Just as quickly, the white flakes turned to drops of red. Snow transformed to blood. Floods of it splattered on their bodies and Mulder found he could no longer remember how to breathe. "Oh, shit," Mulder jerked awake and sat straight up trying to find enough air. "Damn, Mulder, are you okay?" Reality slapped him in the face when he heard the worried voice of AD Skinner from the edge of the bed. His new lover started to reach for him, but Mulder raised a warning hand. "Don't touch me, Walter. Don't fuckin' touch me. I can't handle that right now." "It's okay, Mulder. I won't touch you. I'll move over here. Just settle down. What the hell is going on? Did you have some kind of nightmare or what?" As he spoke, Skinner moved to the chair beside the bed and watched the young man still shaking and rubbing the fear from his face. His uneven breathing and sweat painted a terribly familiar picture of panic. Suddenly he stumbled out of the bed, clumsily pulling on his underwear in the process. "Where the fuck is my cell phone? I've got to call Scully." Still uncoordinated from his sudden waking, Mulder could barely focus. "Calm down, Mulder. It's in your jacket. Hold on. I'll get it." Skinner retrived the rest of Mulder's clothes from the couch and handed him his phone. "It's cold. Why don't you put your shirt on and take a minute to collect yourself before you start ringing your partner in the middle of the night. You're liable to scare her if you call her in this state." As if he'd seen Walter Skinner for the first time, Mulder stopped his frantic movements and sat back on the edge of the bed. After a couple of slow breaths, he took the shirt from his lover's outstretched hand. "Sorry. I didn't mean to go off like that. What time is it anyway?" "A little after 2 in the morning. You were so relaxed last night, you went right off to sleep. You must have really needed the rest. Haven't you been sleeping at all lately?" "I've never been much on sleeping, but lately it's been a real bitch." "If this is how you wake up, I can understand why?" "Actually, I slept longer than I usually do." "It's only been a few hours, Mulder." Mulder shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Besides, I have to call Scully." Guiltily he studied his phone. "I had this thing turned off again. She's going to kill me. She hates when I do that." "So why do you do it?" Mulder looked into his boss's eyes, "I turned it off when I got your call to come up to your office. I didn't want to be interrupted." It was Skinner's turn to flush slightly and grin. "Naughty boy, Mulder. I could've just wanted to discuss the case." "Hell, I thought you just wanted to yell at me some more for screwing up." "Well, we ended up with more than that." Suddenly uncomfortable again, Mulder turned his eyes away from Skinner. "Anyway, I should've checked in with her last night. She's probably been calling all night. She's been worried about me lately." "She's not the only one." "I know. I've been a mess." "Still are." "Yeah, well, I need to call her to find out if she's okay." Puzzled, Skinner asked, "Why wouldn't she be?" "It's the nightmare I had. I know it's crazy, but I have to call." "But it's so late." Mulder just shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first call I ever made after midnight." He dialed the number. Scully answered almost immediately. "Where the hell have you been, Mulder? I've been calling all night and you turned your damn phone off again." "Sorry, Scully. I'm okay." "Well, I'm not. What the hell's wrong with you anyway? You're going to scare me to death one of these days." Mulder rubbed his eyes. His head felt like it would explode. "Sorry, Scully. I was just being stupid. Forgive?" Her tone softened. "Oh, don't be a poop. Of course, I'll forgive you, you idiot. Now, would you please tell me what's up with you? Where are you anyway?" Glancing over at his silent companion, Mulder turned away slightly on the bed. "I'm at a friend's place." "You don't have any friends, Mulder." "That's cruel and untrue, Scully. I have lots of friends." "Lots? Define lots for me." "Okay, I have a few friends." "Don't tell me you're shacked up with Frohike." "No, Scully. I'll be home a little later, but I just wanted to call so you wouldn't worry." "Too late now, Mulder. I worry on a regular basis. Besides, I hope you and your friend are getting along nicely, because it's obvious you haven't looked outside lately." "What are you talking about, Scully?" "Well, I made it home just before the city decided to have one last fling with winter. The roads are too icy and dangerous for late night driving. Where ever you are, stay there. Just wait it out. Things should be warmed up and thawed by morning. Stormy weather's headed out of town by then. Thank goodness it's the weekend." "Yeah, I guess." "Well, Mulder, I take it you aren't going to tell me who your friend is, huh?" He could almost hear her settling back. A flavor of tease curled her words. "Well, this explains some of your distracted behavior lately. You've been doing research on mating rituals. How sweet." "Damn, Scully. Knock it off." "Ah, come on, Mulder, tell your favorite partner. Is she pretty? Or is she another buggy person, like that Bambi woman?" "Scully, you are a such a wicked and nosey person." "I'm an FBI agent. It's required." "So, you're okay then? Sudden concern shifted into her voice. "Of course I am, Mulder. What's wrong? Did you have another nightmare?" "Yeah, well, it's one of the things I do pretty well." "I'm fine, Mulder. Really. Don't worry. Now, get back to your so-called friend. Try to relax and have a great weekend. Take advantage of being snowed in. See you Monday, Romeo." "Sure thing, Scully. Monday." After turning off his phone, he turned back to discover the amused expression on Walter Skinner's face as the older man studied him. "So, this is how you two talk to each other all the time?" "Pretty much." "You sound like old lovers." Mulder's grin drooped into an immediate frown. "We've never been that, sir." Skinner came over to the bed and wrapped his arm around Mulder. "Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you were." Nervously, Mulder immediately pulled away and started to move around the room again. "What's wrong, Mulder?" "I'm not comfortable with this. I thought I was, but it just doesn't feel right." "Really? That's funny, because it seemed to feel very right just a few hours ago." The hurt was obvious in Skinner's strained voice. His brown eyes struggled to remain focused. "I'm sorry, Walter. I didn't mean to say it wasn't great with you then. It was. It's just, I'm not used to having anybody around when I'm this fucked up." "Except for Scully." Mulder stopped his pacing as if he'd suddenly been punched. Realization struck him. "Fuck. You're right. I never really thought about it." "Mulder, would you please come and sit down. I promise I won't touch you if you don't want me to, but I swear you're making me crazy here. Just come sit down, okay." Shoulders slumped, feeling suddenly very tired, Mulder took a seat by his boss. He leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees. "I'm just not used to having anybody around at night." "So, you just wake up, get a few screams off, and spend the rest of the night reading X-files?" "Yeah, well, I've got this boss who's really hot for high solve rates." A lighter quality slipped into his weary voice. "Yeah, I hear he's a mean son of a bitch, too." "Oh, he's not so bad once you get to know him." Mulder glanced at his lover and asked, "Hey, how come you're dressed anyway? You were naked when I last saw you." "Well, I don't usually go to sleep so early, so after you dozed off, I got back up and read for awhile." "What were you reading?" "Pablo Neruda." "Damn, I didn't know you liked poetry. Neruda, huh? He's one of my favorite poets. Hell, no wonder you're so damn sexy." Skinner smiled at the compliment and chuckled. "I was also watching you sleep. You have no idea how innocent you look when you aren't awake and able to be a smartass." "Gee, thanks, I think." "His poems remind me of you. In one he wrote: In you is the illusion of the day. You arrive like the dew to cupped flowers. You undermine the horizon with your absence. Eternally in flight like the wave. I have said that you sang in the wind like the pines and like the masts. Like them you are tall and taciturn, and you are sad, all at once, like a voyage. You gather things to you like an old road. You are peopled with echoes and nostalgic voices. I awoke and at times birds fled and migrated that had been sleeping in your soul." Mulder's eyes misted slightly and he took a deep breath before he risked speaking. "Damn, Walter, I've never had anyone quote love poems to me before. I would never have thought you to be so romantic." "What? Did you think I dressed up in my Marine uniform at night and played war games?" Shaking his head to clear the fog brought on by too little sleep and too much change, he just whispered, "I don't know what to think. You've surprised me more than I can explain. What can I say. Confusion rears its ugly head once again." "Confusion is okay as long as rejection doesn't show up as his cheerleader." After a few more moments of silence, Skinner asked softly, "Mulder, would it be alright if I put my arms around you? Having you this close is killing me. I just want to hold you for awhile." Mulder turned his head slightly and peaked over at the warm man beside him. "Gee, Walter, are you asking for a cuddle?" Grinning back, "Yeah, I guess I am. Is that so wrong of me, Agent Mulder?" "Go for it, big guy. I'm too tired to fight you off anyway." Wrapping his arms around the young man, Skinner pulled him in close, his dark head resting on the chest barely exposed by the gaping shirt. Skinner began to pet the silky, soft chestnut hair. The tickle of Mulder light breathing made him catch his own breath. He heard a soft chuckle coming from the man in his arms. "What?" "Gee, Walter, are you happy to hold me, or is that a gun in your pants?" Playfully, Walter gripped Mulder's head and mussed his hair. "Silly boy, look what you do to me." "Not nearly as much as I'm going to." Mulder reached over and began to stroke the bulge that had formed just inches from his face. Skinner leaned over and began to lick the back of his young lover's neck. Mulder stroked harder with one hand and pushed back with the other so that Skinner fell back across the bed. With a sudden fluid grace, he turned himself so that he stretched over the AD's ample body, still working the hand. He reached up and caressed his lover's face realizing the roughness of the beard and adoring it. Skinner took Mulder's hand in his and pulled it to his mouth. Alternating between licking and sucking, he coated the whole palm paying careful attention to the long graceful fingers. Then he slowly started on the back of the elegant hand. "Out of those clothes, Walter. Now." More than willing to oblige, Skinner stripped quickly and then let Mulder straddle him. Hazel eyes starred down into his and with a sudden hunger, the young agent swooped down for a lusty French tongue wrestle. Fully alive with energy, he began to pump his groin into Walter's with only the thin layer of his briefs between them. As their lips parted, Walter managed to say, "Get out of those shorts, Mulder. I want to feel all of you against me." With a sexy, breathy voice, Mulder whispered, "If I do that, I can't be held accountable for my actions." "Nobody's asking for accountability. I want naked flesh, and I want it now." "Your wish is my command, but you take them off for me." With a scary quickness, Skinner hooked the edges of the shorts with his thumbs, and moved them off in one quick motion down the long sleekness. Grinding his cock into the man below him, Mulder groaned. "My god, that feels like fire." Squeezing his eyes shut, Mulder stopped moving and lay with his arms wrapped around broad shoulders. "What's wrong, Mulder?" "God, nothing. I just want to stay here for a minute. If I move anything, I think I'm going to come too fast." "Tonight there's no such thing, Mulder." Skinner pushed up and suddenly flipped Mulder on his back. Looking down at the lean face, eyes still closed, he rubbed his own thick erection against the other man's. One large hand took both and began to rhythmically pump them. "Oh, shit, Walter, please, don't." Mulder's fingernails scraped across Skinner's back and hips lifted upward. The spasms shook his whole body. Just watching Mulder's release, set off Walter's. He was amazed. He'd never been so quick off the mark. Mulder's touch was liquid fire to him. In his entire life, he'd never felt anything like it. Moments passed before Mulder finally opened his eyes. Skinner started to shift over to his side, but the younger man stopped him. "No, stay there awhile. Please. I love the feel of your weight over me. Just hold me like this." "I'm going to crush you." "What a lovely crushing though. Please, Walter, just a few more minutes and then we'll just cuddle, I promise." Lying there, his lover stretched over him like a shelter from the world, Mulder felt incredibly safe. An aching pushed through his chest as his eyes suddenly blurred. For the first time in years, Mulder felt a happiness that he couldn't explain or control. It scared the hell out of him. Noting the deep breathing and sudden stillness of his new partner, Skinner asked, "What? Are you okay, Mulder?" Trying to keep his voice clear, he barely mumbled, "Yeah, I'm fine, Walter. More than fine, but I guess you can shift over now." Sliding to his side, Walter drew Mulder into his arms more tightly. He could see the wetness on the sad man's face. He spooned against his lover and lay his head against his smooth back. "I think I'm in real trouble here, Mulder." "You? What are you talking about?" "You swallowed everything, like distance. Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!" "Neruda again? So, what are you trying to say, Walter?" "I think you know." "If it gives you any comfort, I think I'm in trouble, too." "Yeah, but you're used to it." "Well, Walter, hon, baby, sugar pie, you'd better get used to it, too, because I do believe we're going to be taking this ride together." "Fuck." "If we're lucky." Mulder breathed deeply with satisfaction as he felt the rumble of a groan behind him, a groan of pleasure and pain that touched him to his very heart. It was the scariest and most wonderful thing he'd ever felt. He whispered back with another verse, "You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream, and you are like the word Melancholy." His soft words brought a tighter embrace before he closed his eyes and sank in the rich strength found in his lover's strong and protective arms. The End THE BOSS 2 Notes: The poems quoted here are from TWENTY LOVE POEMS AND A SONG OF DESPAIR by Pablo Neruda. Specifically used in order were "Your Breast Is Enough", "The Song of Despair", and "I Like For You To Be Still". The Boss 3: Morning Light Warning: This is a homoerotic tale that features two of my favorite men, Special Agent Fox Mulder and AD Walter Skinner. If you can't handle that, go elsewhere before you explode. Summary: This is the sequel immediately following "Wake Up Call". Mulder finds that his mornings are a bit more lively with the Boss around. Date- wise this story occurs after "Zero Sum" but before "Demons". Disclaimer: Fox and Chris Carter have all the fun stuff for real life, but for now I get to play with the boys. No harm is intended for the fellows. Not a darn penny goes into my pocket. Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex and language. The Boss 3: Morning Light by Grey Caresses like velvet tickled the nape of Mulder's neck, forcing his whole body to quiver. Wet kisses trailed down his spine as slick fingers nudged and tickled the globes of his ass. It brought a simpering groan from his lips. This wasn't his typical morning hard-on. AD Skinner was a brave and busy man. He growled softly, his voice rusty from sleep. "Damn, Walter, you're going to kill me or yourself doing things like that without warning. I'm usually armed." The brushing tongue stopped its trail down the insides of his thighs, "What? You don't like it?" "It's not even morning yet." "It's after 8. Besides what a way to start the day." Playfully he resumed licking and sucking in an uneven pattern. He moved himself and his lover so that he could lap more deeply into the furry area between his lover's legs. A slave to sensation, Mulder grunted and turned over, drawing his legs up to better expose himself at a different angle. The fingers which had been stroking his neck moved downward and began to cradle his balls. Walter's tongue delved deeper and found its mark by flicking the tight circle. "Oh, man, Walter." "Walter what?" "Don't stop." "Hadn't planned to, my love." His tongue lapped and probed harder. Slowly a finger began to tease its way along the same path. Tongue and finger made a team scoring with a jerk and a sharp intake of breath from Mulder. Walter could feel the whole body tense. "Relax. I'll stop if you want." "Don't you dare. Just go easy. It feels incredible, but I've never done this particular play before." "I know. I'll go slow. I want it to be great for you." He continued to move his finger in and out and then shifted so that he could match the rhythm with his other hand now wrapped around Mulder's tight cock. All the while, Skinner kept his tongue moving, licking here and there, driving his young lover crazy with hot, unexpected pleasure. Mulder's hips moved on their own, forcing the finger deeper. Suddenly he gasped as a second finger joined the first. He practically came off the bed when his prostate kicked in. "Oh fuck, Walter. I can't take much more." "Then don't. Come for me. Do it. Do it now." The force of the stroking increased and Walter abruptly pushed in a third finger. An explosion of bright flashes captured his vision and Mulder's whole body spasmed with back-breaking intensity. A flood of warm semen sprayed onto Skinner's hand as if in answer to his command. By the time he relaxed enough to speak, Walter had already eased himself back up to spoon himself against Mulder's backside. He kissed the neck gently and waited for recovery. Finally after a few minutes, Mulder managed to hiss in a breathy voice, "Sweet Jesus, Walter Skinner. What the fuck are you trying to do to me?" "You're a special agent for the FBI and you haven't figured that out yet?" "What a smartass. Damn, I have never come so hard in my life. Every time it seems to get even more incredible. How can that be?" "Just luck I guess. I'm glad you like it." "Like it? I can't believe I waited this long to try it out." "Well, we aim to please. You do know how much I love you, don't you?" Skinner wrapped his arms around Mulder's chest and rubbed his nipples gently all the while still licking and sucking his partners exposed neck. "I might have my suspicions." "Want more proof?" "What did you have in mind?" Walter Skinner answered him by shifting him around just enough to give him a deep-tongued, musky kiss that left the young man breathless. Then he resumed the massage down Mulder's belly and peppered tiny nibbles on the pale, satin skin of his throat. Head back, his voice sleepy with spent passion, Mulder moaned and let himself fall against the expanse of warm chest. He felt completely relaxed. "You know, I usually hate getting a morning hard-on." "You're kidding. Why?" "Because I normally can't bring myself off. I end up taking a shower and spending the day tense and frustrated." "You frustrated now?" "Hell no. Thanks." "You're welcome." Mulder finally began to breath deeply and become more alert despite the distraction of Walter Skinner nibbling at his ear lobes. "Hey, you come here. We need to take care of business on your end." Mulder reached back and had no trouble finding his target. Walter's cock, large and hard, filled his fist. He pulled himself away from his partner's busy mouth and shifted around still holding his prize. "Lay back a bit, Walter. It's my turn to do some work." "It's your party." "Yeah, and you're the favor. Now lean back for me." Obliging his friend, Walter let himself surrender gently, all his flesh tingling with anticipation. One hand held the cock, while the other rubbed Walter's belly. Tasting the tangy tip with his tongue, he started to barely touch it with his teeth. Hearing the change of Walter's breathing, spurred him on. Ever so slowly he licked all around and then up and down its length. Then he dropped down, taking it as far in as he could. He bobbed his head up and down very carefully, alternating between gentle touches of tooth and tongue. Mulder felt strong hands take both sides of his face and rest there. No force or guidance pressured him. While Walter's hips began to pump, Mulder could feel the change in tension and prepared himself. Several shots of warm fluid spilled into his mouth as Walter arched his whole body off the bed, his hands still holding his lover's face. After Skinner had settled back, it was Mulder's turn to move up and take his man into his arms. "How was that, sir?" "You deserve a commendation, Agent Mulder." "Do you think it should be in the official report or should we classify it on a need to know basis?" The gentle smile that had graced Walter's lips faded. He closed his eyes and let himself be held just a little longer before he pulled himself away. "What is it, Walter? Did I say something wrong?" "No, you didn't say anything wrong. It's me. I just thought about the fact that we've got to go back to the job eventually." "Fantasy fest is over then, huh?" "Not just this minute, but it does put a damper on things." "Now don't go morose on me, Walter. That's usually my job." "Yeah, and you do it so well, too." Mulder reached down to pull up the sheet to cover his chest now feeling cool in the morning air. "Look, we both knew there were going to be limits. Hell, I do recall saying this was not a good idea just last night." "Are you saying you regret it?" The hurt etched like a razor in the tone of his words. Shaking his head and refusing to look into his dark brown eyes, Mulder continued. "No, I don't regret it, but you might." "I don't regret a moment. We just have to be careful. We can't let anyone know about this. It would destroy both our careers and give Cancer man too much of an edge." "Don't you think I know that?" Frustrated and slightly angry, Mulder scooted to the edge of the bed. "Look, I'm going to the restroom. We'll talk in a minute." As soon as he was behind the door, Mulder wanted to close his eyes and hide himself away. He couldn't believe he'd found something so wonderful, just to have it jerked away. He cursed himself for a being such a fool. He pulled on one of Skinner's shirts and some sweats lying folded on the narrow shelf behind the door. By the time he'd come back into the room, Skinner had pulled on some clothes, changed the sheets and had settled onto the couch. "Better?" "Better than what? Look, we have to talk. I need to know if you want to continue this or if you just want to end it here." Skinner's sad eyes studied the young man before he shook his head. "I thought you were going to say that. Of course, I want it to continue. Do you really think this was just about sex?" Shyly, Mulder slipped into the chair where he'd sat the night before when he'd so painfully confessed his feelings for his boss. "I don't know. I told you that I was confused. I'm not sure about anything. I don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to relationships." Leaning forward with a sudden fierceness, Walter spoke very carefully. "Listen to me, Mulder. I told you last night and again this morning, I love you. I don't lie about things like that." Mulder finally managed to meet his lover's gaze. He blinked several times to clear his vision. "I love you, too. I can't remember not loving you, Walter." His voice choked on the words. "Then get over here, you dumbfuck." Mulder moved awkwardly to sit next to him. He let himself melt into the older man's comforting warmth. "I didn't mean for you to think I was using you, but you have to know how complicated this is going to be. We just have to be careful." "Careful is my middle name." "Yeah, right. You forget who you're speaking to here, Mulder. I'm the man who signs all your insurance forms." "Sorry." "I'm just worried about what could happen. It's a quirk of mine." After a few moments of silence, Mulder finally spoke. "I have to tell Scully." Shifting his position to face him, Walter asked, "Why? The less she knows, the safer she'll be." "Please, she's going to find out whether I tell her or not." "Not if we're careful." "Walter, be serious. She more tenacious than the two of us put together. That's why she so fucking good. She's going to know I'm with someone. She'll kill both of us if she finds out about us before I get a chance to tell her." Solemnly, Skinner nodded. "You're probably right, but I don't want her to know just yet." "Why not?" "I have to be out of town next weekend for a conference. I'd like to be with you when you tell her." "Really? You want to tell her like in a tag team event?" "I think we should fix her dinner and tell her. Make it a special evening." Walter reached down and took Mulder's hand. "Do you think she's going to be okay with this?" "Scully's open-minded about some things, Walter. She doesn't believe in aliens or ghosts, but she does believe in rights for consenting adults. She will be concerned though." "About?" "The same as you. She'll worry about what could happen to us because of this thing between us." Walter pulled Mulder in closer, wrapping him up in a warm hug and kissing the top of his beautiful brown hair. "Mulder, this thing as you call it, may very well be what saves both of us." Mulder breathed deeply before he spoke. "In truth, I couldn't agree more." In the distance Mulder heard the rumble of thunder. So much for clearing weather. "Come on, Walter. Let's go back to bed for a little while longer." "You sure?" "I've never been more sure about anything in my entire, insecure, fucked-up life." "Can't argue with a glowing response like that." "Now that's a first." "Oh, my dear Agent Mulder, that's just the beginning of firsts." The End THE BOSS 3 The Boss 4: All the Way by Grey If anything, Mulder looked like a sleek, lazy, self-satisfied cat making himself the center of the universe right across Assistant Director Walter Skinner's bed. Typical feline behavior. As Walter scanned the lean form stretched out next to him, he marveled at how comfortable his new lover seemed to be in his own exquisite form. So many times when he'd watched Mulder sitting across from his desk or pacing impatiently waiting for the ragging out aimed his way, he'd never appeared the least bit at ease with himself. Thinking back, he realized now that had been simply a way to survive with dignity in front of the boss. Walter smiled at the memory of the office power plays as well as the most recent discovery of the love between them. "Hey, Walter, what are you looking so smug about?" Mulder shifted slightly, turning his head to look up from the end of the bed to gauge Skinner's mood. "Smug? Is that how I look to you?" Walter rubbed the bare ankle near his right hand, pushing the elastic of the sweats up the calf. His thumb polished the hollows by the bone. Mulder lay back as he closed his eyes to better relish the sensation. Massaging the whole foot and then reaching for the other one, Walter demanded playfully, "Answer me, Mulder. How do I look to you?" "Like the man who makes me turn into a boneless wonder." Chuckling, Walter reached up and stroked his lover's crotch through the cotton. Feeling the immediate arousal and Mulder's attempt to raise his hips to press even more firmly against his hand, he whispered, "Not too boneless I hope." "God, Walter, you're turning me into such a slut. My cock is starting to think it's a holiday or something." "Or something, my love." The mattress dipped as Walter, shifted and straddled Mulder's thighs. Diving in, he gently brushed his mouth against soft lips. Licking lightly, he worked his tongue into the fiery, wet cavern. Tongues wrestled while Mulder reached his arms up around Walter's chest to grope first his wide back and then to slide down to knead the roundness of his tight ass. He pulled Walter's hips in against his already hot cock. "Walter?" "Uuum?" Skinner continued to nuzzle at Mulder's neck, working his way to swapping down a shoulder and chin. "Let's get out of these clothes." Eyes still shut, Walter expertly pulled off both sets of sweats in a matter of moments. The urgency of his desire displayed in an even more massive erection than the one earlier in the morning. Moving faster, he spread Mulder's thighs apart and pumped with more force, cock to cock, while continuing to practically swallow the unshaven jaw line. Unexpected frustration caused a grunt when Skinner suddenly realized that Mulder had stilled beneath him, his breathing entirely too steady. He stopped his movements and came alert to find himself gazing into Mulder's intense hazel eyes. "What's wrong?" "Nothing." The soft words barely audible froze Walter's heart. He pushed up and sat back on his haunches. "Don't tell me nothing when obviously there's something." He reached between them to touch Mulder's no longer fully erect cock. "Tell me." Mulder looked to the side and then lifted a hand to rub Walter's forearm. "I was just wondering if maybe we should try going all the way." "All the way? I thought that was what we were doing?" Lying naked, legs spread with his boss and lover kneeling between them, Mulder squeezed his eyes shut. He steeled himself against his own embarrassment. "I mean, I was wondering if maybe we could, you know, have anal intercourse." Walter reached over to take Mulder's chin in his hand. He turned his young friend's face toward him. "Look at me." Cautiously, like a frightened child afraid of rejection, Mulder opened his eyes to stare into the dark chocolate gaze of Walter Skinner, the man he desired beyond any reason or explanation. "You know I love you don't you, Mulder?" "Oh, god, when you use that tone that means you don't want to." "I didn't say that, Mulder. I'm just not sure it's the right time." Mulder suddenly rolled and tried to get up off the bed. Walter snatched his wrist and pulled him back before he could escape. He drew him into a tight, comforting hug with Mulder's back to his chest. "I'm sorry, Walter. I didn't mean to ruin it. I just thought that you'd want to." "Mulder, I do want to. Do you have any idea how many times I've fantasized about us being together like that? It's just I'm not sure you're ready." Mulder wiggled back further into his lover's strong embrace. "I think I'm a pretty quick learner, Walter." "Tell me about it. You're fantastic. I just want it to be right." "But who's to decide when it's right? I mean just this time yesterday I'd never been with a man. To my surprise I discovered that I actually like to suck cock and have your fingers in my ass." "Don't be crude, Mulder." "Then don't be prissy." Walter caressed the side of Mulder's neck and began to nibble his ear. "Walter, you're not going to get out of it by distracting me. If you're not going to let me have it all, I want to know why." Sighing, Walter stopped and took a deep breath before speaking. "Mulder, lord knows nobody appreciates your love of cocksucking like I do, but you're a virgin." "So?" His petulant partner tried to pull away in protest, but Walter held him firmly in a deeper hold. "Mulder, anal penetration is not something everybody takes to right away. I mean, though I like to do it, I don't like having it done to me nearly as much. It can be painful for some people and it takes preparation." "But you know how to do it, right?" "Yes, but I don't want to hurt you." "But, Walter, I trust you." "I appreciate that." "You should. Next to Scully, you're the only one I trust. But I think you're wrong to not want to teach me how to do this. I want to show you how much I love you." "I already know that, Mulder." Skinner petted the hair under his chin and then soothingly kissed the side of his neck. "Don't get me wrong, Walter. You're a hell of a lover." "Gee, thanks." "But, if we're going to be a couple, I want it all." "Greedy boy." "Yep. I want to be with you in the most intimate way. As for who tops, well, there's not a lot of question in my mind who runs the show." Mulder turned so he could snuggle deeper against Skinner's chest. "Tops? What have you been reading, Mulder?" "Please. I work for the FBI. I've seen it all, big man." Skinner's expression saddened briefly, and then nodded. "I think we've both seen more than our share, Mulder. It's just that most of that is so ugly. I want what's between us to be both beautiful and sacred. It's not about who's top or bottom. I want us to be equal." "That's a pretty thought, Walter, and I know we're equal about some things, but face it, when it comes to sex, I'm just now learning dick." Walter laughed out loud. "God, you're a persistent little shit." His warm breath tickled as he whispered softly. "I want you inside me, Walter Skinner. I trust you to do it right." Skinner shook his head and closed his eyes as if trying to decide the fate of the world. Then he realized that in fact, he was. It both terrified and amazed him that this brilliant young man had, indeed, become his world. After a few moments, he looked down into an impatient face. "Mulder, I hope you're not going to be disappointed with this. It's not a fairy tale." "Nice choice of words there, Walter." "Seriously, Mulder, listen to me. This kind of love making can be intense at its best and I pray that it'll be like that with us. I think it probably will be. You're incredibly responsive, but you've got to understand that I don't want to do anything that might hurt you. It could turn out to be a risky mess. There's always that possibility just because of what this kind of activity involves." Impatiently Mulder whined, "I know what it involves, Walter. Not to sound vulgar to your sensitive ears, but it means you'll be putting your cock in my ass." As if to make his point, he reached over and stroked Skinner back to almost complete arousal. A few more moves would make the powerful member fully erect. Practically cooing the words, he murmured, "Your big cock in my very warm, very tight ass, Walter. Think about it, babe. I can't believe you really want to turn me down." "Oh, god, Mulder, what you do to me. Are you sure you're not the top here?" "Nope, at least not this time. Come on, Walter, I want to go all the way with the man I love. Will you do that for me?" "Only for you, Mulder." The boy almost glowed from the glory of his victory. He earnestly waited for the spoils. As Walter got up from the bed, Mulder protested while he repositioned himself to sit up and lean back against the headboard, "Where are you going?" "Be right back. Relax, lover, and don't dare start without me. I mean it, Mulder. Save touching yourself until I can watch and jump in to help." Pouting playfully, Mulder responded, "Gee, Walter, what makes you think I play with myself when you're not around?" "Old habits. Besides I've noticed that when you think I'm not looking, you touch yourself a lot." "Does that bother you?" "Not at all, but this time, leave it alone. It's my toy today." Mulder made a mock baby face and stuck out his tongue. "Okay, selfish, but you'd better hurry up and get your ass back here with my toy box." "Never fear, babe. I'm just getting a couple of things we'll need." The promising words tightened Mulder's stomach muscles with the thrill of anticipation. His hands automatically headed for his groin, but he stopped himself. Instead he detoured north and tweaked hard nipples instead. "What did I tell you about playing with my stuff, Agent Mulder?" "Oops! Caught me. Get the cuffs, officer." Skinner laughed. "Not today, young man. Once lesson at time." Mulder blew a kiss. "Promise?" Looking serious, noting the eager expression of the naked Mulder in his bed, he simply stated, "We'll discuss that another time." "God, you're so conservative, Walter." Skinner snorted. "Conservative? Mulder, I'm standing here with lube, condoms, and a towel getting ready to literally ride your ass. Somehow I don't think that's the right description." "How about gorgeous, butch, wonderfully built, hung like a thoroughbred, the man of my dreams? Any of those suit your fancy?" Mulder grinned with satisfaction when Walter's cock twitched in response. Excited by his power, he reached out taking Walter into his hand. He cupped the balls and felt the subtle movement. "Look, everybody, it's alive!" Skinner shook with a soft laughter and let himself be gently pulled to the bed. He placed the items he'd retrieved on the table, and then scooted in. Lowering himself for a kiss, his hands now free, he returned favors. Strong fingers grasp Mulder's cock already engorged and fiery with passion. "Tell me what to do, Walter." The urgency of the request signaled liquid fire through his veins. His whole body tingled as he moved Mulder over to lie down in the center of the mattress. The larger man stretched over him and pressed himself down to make greatest contact, skin against fevered skin. All the while hands stayed busy rubbing outer hips, spreading thighs, stroking balls and cock. Moving to all fours, he swooped down to take the aching cock into his hungry mouth. Mulder's balls tighted close to his body and Walter stopped. "Hold on, lover. We can't have you leaving the launch pad just yet." "Jesus, Walter, I can't help it. If you go down on me like that, what do you expect?" "Control." "Fuck control." "I plan to. Now turn over for me." Mulder couldn't flip fast enough. He went face down against the mattress, his legs spread and Walter kneeling between them. His narrow hips raised automatically and practically wiggled in the older man's face. A slight slap against his back side fogged his mind even more. "Jesus, Mulder, slow down a minute." "No way. Come on before I go fucking crazy here." Skinner moved up and over the long body beneath him, his erect cock pressing lightly between ass cheeks. He whispered into his lover's ear trying to be heard above the moans. "Do you trust me, Mulder?" "Why are you torturing me like this, Walter? Please. God, it feels so good." Smiling to himself, Walter rocked gently as he persisted, "Do you trust me?" "Of course, I do, but I swear to god, if you don't fuck me soon, I'm going to die. Try explaining that to Scully. She'll shoot your sorry ass." "You're not going to die, Mulder, but I want you to slow down and listen to me." Reluctantly, Mulder managed, "Son of a bitch. Okay. What is it, you teasing bastard?" "I want you to let me make this special for you. I don't want this to be some quick fuck. I want to make love to you and I'm not going to hurt you doing it." "God, you must be made of stone." "Not hardly." "Pretty damn hard to me, but okay, I do understand. I'll try to be good." Kissing the back of his neck, finally moving his hands down the thin space between them, Walter spoke in a hush. "Oh, I'm counting on that part. Now, just try to breath evenly. Don't be afraid to tell me if you don't like something or if I need to go slower." "Slower? Don't we have to go back to work Monday?" Ignoring the comment, Walter continued to suck, nibble, massage, totally stroke all along his lover's trembling body. The young man could only moan from the flood of overwhelming desire and sensation engulfing and destroying his whole contact with reality. Fox Mulder was pretty much ready to eat concrete and like it if Walter Skinner told him to. A forceful tongue flicked between his ass cheeks and it was all he could do to not go over the edge. Recognizing his condition, Walter slowed down again. Frustration flowed in massive lava streams through his brain. He wanted to speak, to urge Walter to move, but all he could do was drool into the pillow. The tongue moved again and a finger followed. A cool slickness excited him even further as his abused heart pounded like a herd of crazed circus clowns trying to somersault out of his chest. A second finger widened him and his ragged breathing almost gagged him. A deep, faint voice asked, "You okay?" Unable to form words, he merely groaned with a ripple of pleasure that shivered and shook the muscle all the way down to his toes. A warm tongue lapped and the fingers pumped, more and more juicy, the sound like a slurping cat. The third finger brought fire and his ass clenched. Soft comforting words fondled him. "Easy, relax. Take a deep breath." Every cell in his body wanted to explode. Molecules readied themselves to be blasted into nuclear holocaust. He could not speak. Finger-fucked and loving it, he let himself begin to rock with his lover's hand. When it stopped, he wanted to sob, but was saved by the immediate feel of a larger pressure pushing it's way in. "Breath for me, Mulder. Take a long, even breaths. I'm going to go slow. Tell me if I need to stop." Desperate for release, he managed to control his tongue enough to strain out the word. "If you stop, Walter Skinner, I'll shoot you with my second gun. Jesus, you're not even going to have time to finish if you don't hurry. "I don't want to hurt you." "Walter, I swear to god at this point you could club me to death and I'd kiss you first. I just want you to fuck me. Please. God, I hate begging." His frustration and pitiful pleas sent even more blood to the AD's cock. All control went poof and the brain went fuzzy. The hard pressure and burning increased as Walter pushed the crown in. He still managed to remember to let the muscles ease around a bit more before he moved further. Slowly, inch by inch, being sure not to tear or force, he finally made it all the way inside. Lying there together, Mulder impatiently backed against him, nagging for attention. His own needs kicked in and more firmly and faster, Walter Skinner began to pump ass. Balls slapped against skin. Sweat coated both bodies. His beefy arm snaked around and grabbed Mulder's thick cock with his fist to counter pump it with his own action. Together they brutally danced until Skinner felt the tell-tale spasms begin and the warm, thick fluid coat his hand. Mulder actually cried out as his tight inner muscles milked his lover's cock. Walter was down for the count. Light removed itself from his world and ragged breathing ticked loudly in time with his own racing heart. Mulder finally relaxed beneath him, but Skinner remained inside, delaying his withdrawal, relishing the security and strength of the love he found there. Reluctantly, he pulled away only to have Mulder turn quickly toward him to snatch him back into his arms. "Don't you dare go anywhere. I want you here." He patted the head suddenly glued to his oily chest. "I'm not planning on going anywhere, Mulder. Calm down." "My god, Walter. I truly do love you. Promise you'll never leave me." Embracing his needy lover tightly in his strong, but tender arms, he brought Mulder in even closer. Caressing the right side of his slightly bearded cheek, he whispered, "I'm here forever, babe." "I want to believe that." "Then believe it. It's easy. Just lie against me, listen to my heart and know that I mean it. I love you and you're mine." "And you're mine?" "Absolutely." "You know, Walter, I think this might actually work out." "It'd better, Mulder. I don't think I have the strength to break in anybody else." Mulder smiled his little cat smile and licked his sex-swollen lips. "Well, sir, you can bet I'm going to see to that." "A threat, Mulder?" "No, sir, a promise." The Boss 5: Partners by Grey Warning: This is a story of love between two men. Don't read any further if that's not what you like. Disclaimer: Much to my everlasting chagrin, the Fox Empire and Chris Carter own the characters of Mulder, Skinner, and Scully. I, on the other hand, own almost nothing, but my principles, morals, and imagination. Well, some can argue the morals, but that's their problem. Archive: MKRA/MSSS OK Rating: NC-17. I promise. Summary: This is part of "The Boss" series which takes place after "Zero Sum", but before "Demons". Scully figures out Mulder and Skinner's secret. After she rants a little bit, she leaves and Mulder and Skinner can get back to business. Bad boys, bad boys. The Boss 5: Partners by Grey Never ambush your partner. The rule ranked at the top of the lists of survival tidbits in the FBI unofficial handbook. However, Dana Katherine Scully decided that after a boring weekend of paperwork and apartment cleaning, Mulder would make the perfect target. When he walked in wearing the same suit from the previous Friday and a goofy grin, she took aim. "Hey, Mulder, have a nice weekend?" Alert to every nuance of Scully tones, he immediately recognized the you WILL tell me everything before I shoot you again signal. Smile gone, he defensively offered, "Fine, Scully. How about yours?" "Oh, you know, it was just your average worry yourself sick until you finally get a call in the middle of the night kind of thing." "You're trying to make me feel guilty here, aren't you, Scully." "Yeah, is it working?" " "Not enough to tell you who I was with this weekend." "Oh, really?" Shit, the Scully's got a challenge tone. "I didn't mean that I'm not going to tell you eventually, but..." "Well, I should hope not, but what?" Blushing slightly, Mulder tried not to look into her riveting blue eyes. Skinner would kill him if he broke his promise. They'd agreed to tell Scully about their recent relationship only when he and Skinner could tell her together. The only person he loved almost as much as his boss was Scully. The only person with power over him besides Walter was Scully. Shit. "But I don't want to say anything yet." "Why not? Do I know this person? Don't you think I would approve? It's not Phoebe again is it?" She moved closer, standing next to him. Then she stopped. "Mulder?" "What?" "Are you wearing cologne?" Cheeks flushed slightly more red. "You know I never wear anything but Mulder Spice. It's just me under here. I swear I took a shower." Following the scent, she shook her head, her eyes slightly out of focus. "You're wearing something different. But, then again, it smells really familiar." "I swear, Scully, if you start a scratch and sniff test, I'm out of here." Click. "Oh my god." Double click. "It's Skinner." "Damn, you're good. You didn't tell me you were part bloodhound." "You calling me a bitch, Mulder?" Plopping down at his desk, face dropped to his hands to cover his face, Mulder surrendered. "Jesus, Scully it's not even 8 A.M." Silence. He peeked up and saw her staring at him, her pouty lips tight. "Sorry about the bloodhound crack." "I don't give a shit about that. Is it really Skinner you were with this weekend?" "Would it do any good to deny it?" "No." "Then yeah." "Shit." Trying desperately to mitigate damages, he tried to explain. "I swear Walter and I were going to tell you, but we wanted to do it together outside of work, maybe at a quiet dinner." "Walter?" "Sometimes he lets me call him sir." "Jesus, Mulder." Shaking her head with utter disbelief, Scully finally realized the reason for the ambush rule--backfire. She sat down heavily in her own chair, her mind exploding with blazing Mulder/Skinner combos. Her cheeks suddenly matched her hair. "You okay, Scully?" Taking a moment to compose herself, she finally answered. "I'm fine, Mulder, but when exactly did you lose your mind?" "Must've been Friday evening right after Walter licked my...." "Don't even, Mulder." His foolish, lop-sided smile made her finally do the same. Then her serious intellect body-slammed her heart and she asked, "You do realize he's your boss?" "You got that right." "Mulder, please." "Well, you asked." "Are you two really a couple or was it just a weekend thing?" Mulder snapped, "Is that what you really think of me, Scully? You think I'd just fuck the boss, a man like Walter Skinner, as a fling?" "I didn't mean it like that." "Then how did you mean it? Besides, do you think Skinner's going to screw unstable Spooky Mulder on a whim? I mean there's danger and there's danger and our AD's a cautious man." "Not too cautious apparently." He started for the door, the anger dragging at his limbs. Scully stood, ready to follow. "Mulder, please, don't go. I'm sorry. We need to talk. I need to understand." He hesitated and then turned slowly, his eyes shadowed with hurt. "What exactly is it you need to understand, Scully? I love a man or that I love Walter Skinner?" "Both I guess. Come on, Mulder be fair. Before this morning it never occurred to me that you might be gay, and I sure didn't think Walter Skinner was anything but straighter than my natural hair." Smiling at her personal dig, he offered, "Actually, I think the term for both of us is bisexual, but it really doesn't matter at this point." "Why not?" "Because I don't plan to be with anyone else ever again." Cocking her head, she studied her partner like she'd never seen the man before. Then her eyes softened as did her voice. "You really love him?" Shyly he nodded. "Yeah, Scully I do. I never in my wildest dreams ever imagined I'd be sleeping with Walter Skinner or any man for that matter, but I've got to tell you, he's the one. I can't put into words how he makes me feel when he touches me or strokes me with his kindness. Face it, Scully, I've never had much tenderness in my life. Walter gives me that and more." Soaking in the value and tone of his words, Scully finally said, "I'm jealous, Mulder. You've got someone in your life besides your partner." After a short, awkward silence, she teased, "I hope you realize, a lot of women at the bureau are going to be pissed when they find out the hottest AD has been snatched up." "Well, I'm not sharing." "Selfish." "You bet." Scully crossed her arms and asked cautiously, "So, how are you two going to handle this relationship when it comes to the job?" "What relationship would that be, Agent Scully?" Skinner's deep voice bombed the room. Mulder wanted to faint, hide, or deep throat the man. He just couldn't decide. Scully blushed a hot pink and cleared her throat to speak. "Maybe you should close the door first, sir." "Maybe you should just answer the question." The barely controlled anger focused at Scully. Mulder didn't dare speak. "Sir, it's not what you think." "You're psychic now, Agent Scully?" "God, I hope not, Walter. I'm already in deep shit." "Shut up, Agent Mulder. I'll deal with you later." Mulder licked his lips and bit his tongue. He started to sweat nicely. Skinner was in full boss mode. "Sir, I don't think this is the best place to have this conversation. Maybe we should all go out and discuss this change in department dynamics." "I do believe that was the original plan, but since Agent Mulder has taken it upon himself to disregard my direct order, we're going to have it here." Scully, amazed at her partner's silence and submissive posture, stood her ground. "You're wrong, sir." The voice lowered. "Excuse me?" "Agent Mulder did not disregard your order. I am the one at fault here. I knew he'd been with someone because of his call this weekend. When I recognized your cologne, he was honest with me about it." "You smelled my cologne?" "I believe it's called marking your territory, sir." Mulder chuckled to himself in the corner, but seeing Walter's embarrassment, settled right down. Watching his two partners do a major, full-blown face off was better than alien autopsies any time. "Agent Scully, are you going to have a problem with this?" Narrowing her eyes to laser points, she answered carefully. "I don't have a problem unless Mulder has a problem. The thing is, sir, that we both know Agent Mulder pretty well. I have the highest respect for his work, but frankly, he's never been real stable in his personal life." "Hey, Scully, that's not fair." "Stay out of this, Agent Mulder." Irritated, but not stupid, he remained quiet. "Sir, I'd have these concerns regardless. He often acts rashly and damn the consequences. We've both been witness to those events and the aftermath." He reflected on the value of her concerns before he finally spoke. "Do you consider me an impulsive man, someone who doesn't bother with thinking ahead, someone who doesn't fully analyze the full ramification of every deed, Agent Scully? As if answering a double Jeopardy question for the championship, she hesitated. "No, I'd have to say, in my experience, you are not." "Believe me when I say that I know full well the seriousness of this course of action. I also want you to understand that I love Mulder. I'm going to do my best to make him happy." "Well, sir, you never have been one for easy assignments." "And I don't plan to fail." "I just want to remind you that I carry live rounds. If you hurt him in any way, I plan to use at least one of them on your heart. Are we clear on that?" "Loud and clear." Taking a deep breath, she reached over and grabbed a stack of files from her desk. "Sir, if you'd excuse me, I've got some forms to take down to Agent Morrissey in records." ""You're dismissed." "Thank you, sir." As she went past the AD, she winked at Mulder and headed out the door. Closing it behind her, both men heard the turning of the lock from the other side. Skinner shook his head in bewildered fascination. "Damn, she's good." "Isn't she though. I told you we couldn't keep it from her." "So you did." Smiling at his cornered lover for the first time since entering the office, Skinner made his move. Standing in front of Mulder, he raised both arms and caged him against the wall. "Walter, we're in the office." "Really?" Leaning in, he hungrily took Mulder's mouth, while his body pressed him back firmly. Erection against erection had each man swallowing groans. "Make room, Walter." As soon as he'd stepped back a few inches, Mulder dropped to his knees. The sound of the zipper hardened Walter even more. Hot lips nibbled at the tip and then engulfed him. A busy mouth licked, dipped, sucked, and vacuumed all nine inches of Walter's thick cock. Fucking Mulder's face tightened every muscle and made each pulsing nerve lightning flash. Walter's hips quickened, balls pulled up, and just as ecstasy waved, it all stopped. "What the fuck? Mulder, please. You bastard, you can't stop." The mass of whining flesh nearly puddled on the floor. "Don't worry. I'm not finished and neither are you." Like a magician with a trick coin, he slipped a small, foiled packet into Walter's breast pocket. "Hold on just a minute." "God, Mulder, no wonder Scully shot you." Skinner still braced himself forward, too stiff to move elsewhere. Seconds later, Mulder swung up between the two arms. "Look, Walter. Scully has lotions. Do you prefer the aloe enriched or are you an original formula kind of guy?" "Drop you pants, Mulder, and assume the position." "Yes, sir, officer. Full cavity search?" Snatching up the a blue bottle, Walter trembled as he coated his fingers with the white creamy fluid. Mulder leaned forward, spread his legs and offered the bare-bottom prize. Shoving in a slick finger, he pumped the opening quickly until he added a second. Mulder jerked in pleasure as each stroke sent a fire that gobbled up every thought except fuck me, fuck me now. "Come on, Walter, I need it." Getting the condom from his pocket, Walter rolled and readied for the big push. Adding more lotion to his cock, he then steadied Mulder's narrow hips. Placing the tip between the slippery ass cheeks, he pressed forward, giving just enough time for his lover to adjust. Mulder, his voice and mind paralyzed by a maelstrom of sensation, could still signal with his impatient butt to move it along. Walter got the message big time and lost all reason. Ramming up against Mulder's backside, brought him to the hilt. Napalm could not have stilled his hips. He ground into Mulder and powerfully pumped his rear until he felt the spasms. The tight wave of ripples triggered his own release and the two men twitched and locked together. After a few minutes, Walter reached down to hold the edge of the condom as he withdrew and threw it away. Without his lover to support him, Mulder, still dizzy, found himself slipping sideways toward the corner. A strong arm caught him and eased him over to one of the chairs. Seeing a pallor rather than a flush, alarmed Skinner. "Are you okay?" "Jesus, Walter, I can't believe we just did this." "You don't look so good, Mulder. Maybe you should put your head between your knees." "Walter, there's kink and then there's kink. Just let me catch my breath." While Mulder calmed down, Walter hurriedly redressed himself and looked around. "Oh shit, Mulder." "What?" "I sure hope Scully has some kleenex." "Why?" "Because I really don't want to explain that mess in the corner." "Maybe we could say it's just lotion." "She knows forensics, Mulder." "Then I guess we better clean the chair, too, huh?" Nodding, trying to keep from laughing at the rather sheepish expression on his well-fucked lover's face , Walter said, "You know, Mulder, I think we'd better start laying down some ground rules about work and play." "Well, we've got the laying down part already." "Maybe we should meet to discuss this later after you've had a chance to get yourself together." Feeling more energized, Mulder looked up and locked stares. "A meeting, sir?" "How about 4:00 this afternoon, my office?" "Yes, sir. And should I bring the lotion?" "Unless you prefer dry runs, I'd consider it advisable." "You're the boss." "Then consider it an order, Agent Mulder." "Yes, sir." While Walter turned to finish cleaning up and Mulder started to get dressed, the young agent smiled to himself. He took a mental inventory, listing all the things he and Scully had in the office that might facilitate the meeting with Skinner. He grinned wider when he realized he was going to need a bigger briefcase. The end. Boss 6a: Storms by Grey Warning: If love between two men offends you, leave now. This story contains explicit descriptions of both loving and what, some might consider, abusive acts. Some people might complain that this series is uneven, a little fluff here and grinding angst there. No joke. I write as I witness. Go away or go forth. It's all about choice. Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Free agent sounds good to me. Archive: MKRA/MSSS OK Rating: NC-17+ This is the roughest piece so far. Summary: "The Boss" series starts right after "Zero Sum". "Storms" is the 6th story and occurs just before "Demons". It also comes before the story called, "Lost, but Found". Walter Skinner struggles to fathom the depression and disturbing sexual needs that threaten to overwhelm and eventually destroy both his lover and their relationship. Notes: First, the poem used in this story is Robert Frost's "Desert Places." Second, this deals with the very serious issue of SM sexual fantasy versus real abuse. It's not trying to make a judgment on those who select alternative life styles, heaven forbid. Bite your tongue, hon. What it does do, is deal with potential self-destructive acts and desires and how they affect everyone involved. Included for free is a picture of dealing with a loved one in the throes of chronic depression. Smiles all around? Sorry, not this time. The Boss 6a: Storms by Grey "I think we should talk about this, Mulder." "What's to say?" "Well, why not start by explaining what happened last night and the three nights before that?" "Nothing to explain. You were there." "Yeah, I was, but you weren't, not really. Frankly, Mulder, you've been distant lately. It's like you're shutting me out or shutting yourself down. What's going on with you?" Mulder shifted uneasily at the kitchen table of Skinner's private getaway apartment, pretending to busy himself with a case file. "Mulder, I asked you a question. Don't sit there and ignore me like you can't hear." With a defensive tone, he snapped, "What are you complaining about? You got off just fine, so what's the problem?" "But you didn't" "Don't worry about it. I took care of it later." Hurt became a quiet weight, a weight like thunder against arid desert stone waiting for rain. "Mulder, why are you being such an ass?" "Ass? I thought that's what you liked about me." Keeping his voice controlled, Skinner said, "Mulder, would you please explain to me why you're pushing so fucking hard here?" "I hate to break it to you, Walter, but you're seeing the real me. If you don't like it, I can leave." "Is that what you want?" "It doesn't matter what I want. You'll eventually leave me anyway. I'm used to it." Realization transmuted to lightning framed in a midnight sky. "Oh, I get it. By being an obnoxious prick, you can make damn sure that I'll have a good enough reason to leave you, right?" Silence confirmed suspicion. Walter continued. "It's not going to work. We're going to talk this through, Mulder. I love you. You piss me off royally when you get like this, but you're not getting rid of me that easily." "Maybe I should call Sharon and ask for tips." "Fuck you, Mulder, and try again. I suggest you come up with a different plan. How about telling me the real problem." Walter could see the slight shudder pass through his young lover who still refused to meet his gaze. Finally, Mulder spoke softly, "Jesus, Walter, I'm sorry. That was low even for my sorry ass. My mouth runs amok sometimes, what can I say? I'm just tired. It's been a pretty tough week." "Has Scully heard anymore about her latest scan?" Rubbing his face as though he could remove the swirling terror so easily, he shook his head. "They put her through all these tests and scans and then all she can do is wait. It's making me crazy. It's just so fucking hard, you know." "She's your partner. I know what that's like. She's part of you." "Yeah, but even so, I shouldn't take it out on you." Skinner sat down beside him, taking his free hand. He raised and turned up the palm, kissing it lightly and then caressing it firmly between his own before he spoke. "I know you're sorry. You say it and you mean it, but then you turn right around and do it again. I need to know why." "Why I keep acting like a prick? Hell, Walter, it's genetic. I come from a long line of pricks. Didn't you know?" "I'm not kidding here, Mulder. Why is it so hard for you to let yourself enjoy anything. You've always been a pretty morose bastard, but lately, I don't know, it's different." "It's not different, Walter. You're just seeing all of it for the first time." "You're not eating. You don't get through the night without at least one screaming fit, sometimes two. How do you even function on so little sleep?" "You get used to it. Believe me, Walter, none of this is new." "Is it depression, insecurity, what?" He jerked his hand away, stood, and started pacing. "Don't try to analyze me. Scully does that, too. I hate it. It's so goddamn condescending." Taking a calming breath, Skinner waited. "You say you fucking love me, but what the hell does that mean? The phrase is lost on me." "It's never lost on you, Mulder. You just don't think you deserve it." "There you go again, fucking Sigmund Walter Freud. You don't know shit about what I really think, what I feel." "Then tell me." His composed voice threw gas to flame. Mulder's distress and agitation scorched the room. He paced frantically trying to make the screams in his head into words. The phrases hissed with anxious energy. "I think that this whole situation is a disaster waiting to happen. There's no way we're ever going to work." "Why do you say that?" "I mean look at us right now. You're all fucking calm like none of this is a big deal. Me, well, I'm a mess. All I think about anymore is being with you or losing you. I can't focus on work because I'm always drifting off into some sexual fantasy that, as you pointed out so concisely the other night, would make a marine blush. I'm literally licking cock and sticking my tongue in your ass and you're getting all proper on me about details. Fuck proper." "Settle down, Mulder." "Don't tell me to settle down. Don't you think if I could control this, I would? Do you think I want to be this totally fucked up? Do you have any idea how hard it is to not fly off into a million pieces sometimes? Or even worse, collapse into a well so deep that the vacuum of space looks small? Like in that poem by Frost when he says 'they cannot scare me with their empty places between stars--on stars where no human race is. I have it in me so much nearer home to scare myself with my own desert places.' I feel like that sometimes. Hell, it's how I feel most of the time." "Is that how you feel right now?" In a fragile, more tremulous voice, he managed, "Walter, I'm scared shitless that you'll leave me and scared shitless that you won't. One minute I'm overwhelmed by the fierce reality of your love and in a heartbeat, I'm a vacant shell, totally numb, walking around passing for real. I seriously don't have a clue about how to deal with any of this confusion. It's a real mindfucker and I'm the whore." "Mulder, I can understand why leaving would scare you, but explain to me again why my staying frightens you to the point that you're willing to actually push me away." "You won't understand." "Try me." Finally reaching a state of functional calm, at least on a relative Mulder scale, he sat down on the edge of the bed. He still didn't look at Walter when he spoke. Instead he stared at an internal screening room already flooded with fearful images. "I tried to tell you before about how I sometimes need to do certain things." Skinner's stomach tightened at the uncomfortable reminder. "You asked me to hurt you, Mulder. More than that, you wanted me to degrade and punish you. You wanted it for real, no role-playing or sexual play, but for real pain. I can't do that." "That's what you said. I remember thinking at the time that maybe I should just keep quiet. No fuss. Just accept it. I mean, I'm not so totally fucked that I can't see how good you are for me. I'm amazed that you're in my life at all. I mean, I've never understood what you get out it unless you get off on grinding aggravation. But, Walter, this is a part of me, too, of who I am. Like it or not, it's part of the package. If we're going to be together, then you have to know and accept it." "Mulder, please. How do you expect me to do those things to you? Hell, I can't even repeat some of the things you asked me to do, without wanting to cry." "Cry?" "You begged me bite you, to leave wounds rather than make love to you. You wanted me to drive needles through your nipples and jerk your dick until it oozed blood. To make red, raw meat in my hand. Your words, Mulder, not mine. And that makes me want to cry." Obsessive need outbid humiliation as Mulder worked desperately to explain. "I never said I wanted you to do that all the time, just when I need it, just when things get too hard to handle." "How am I supposed to be able to hurt you, to let you damage yourself like that? Games are one thing, abuse another." "See, you wouldn't listen the other night either. You just did the Skinner thing and dismissed it. Worse than that, I saw your eyes when I finished. I disgusted you." He shook his head in vehement denial. "Never, Mulder. What you saw was concern and fear." "That's even worse. I tell you my deepest need and you're afraid of me." "Not afraid of you, for you." "Come on, Walter. It's not like I asked you to shoot me in the head or anything permanent. I just needed some temporary relief. Not all of us are lucky enough to always manage with your, if you'll pardon the expression, straight fuck." "Mulder, listen to me. The man I love tells me that I have to scratch, bite, or cut him until he bleeds to get him to come, well, that scares me. Then he tells me to strangle him unconscious, and that's more than I can deal with. He wants me to whip his ass until he's striped and scarred, to rape him with a dildo the size of my fist so that he can get off. No, Mulder, I'm sorry, but none of that is going to happen, at least not with me." Rusty and heavy with shame, Mulder leaned back to lie on the bed. He raised his arm to cover swollen eyes. Skinner recognized his lover's arousal and shook his head. Mulder hadn't been hard in over a week. Now, after a litany of sadistic acts, he stood rock hard, straining against his zipper. "Jesus, Mulder, how did you come to such a dark place?" He didn't answer the question. Instead Mulder tried to continue, his voice shaky. "At first I thought I could handle your refusal. I mean, being with you has been incredible. I've never had anything like it in my life. Still, there's something missing." "What?" "Pain. Not that I like pain all the time. I don't. But when things get really bad, like when I mess up or now when I'm so truly and totally fucked and confused, I need it. It's like if I can focus on the pain outside of myself, the torture inside is easier." "It doesn't make any sense to me. I can't understand." "I know, but you won't even try. You won't even talk about it." Still at the table, Skinner leaned forward in his chair. "Okay, I promise to talk about this need you have for pain later, but first I want to ask you something else." "Promise?" "Promise. Now, tell me why my loving you is so damn scary that you're willing to sabotage our relationship rather than work on it?" "That's fair enough, I guess." Hesitation flavored the words. Skinner prompted, "Come on, Mulder. Why is my love for you so terrifying?" "Imagine that everyone you ever loved either disappeared, rejected, or lied to you. In my life up to now, Scully is the only one who hasn't done that to me." "Come on, Mulder. How can that be true? What about your mom?" "I'm talking everyone, Walter. Now even Scully's leaving me and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. Every day she gets a little more pale, a little thinner. Those fucking nosebleeds are driving me nuts. Now, every time it happens, I puke." He snorted to himself. "What?" "Scully gets all concerned when I'm throwing up. What a fucking joke. She's dying and she's worried because I can't even keep down coffee." "This is about her cancer?" "She dying and I'm responsible." "No, you're not." "You say that. Scully says it. But I know the truth. She's leaving me because of me. Same old story, except that she'll be dead instead of just glad to have me out of her life." "Mulder, she cares about you. She doesn't blame you for what's happened." "That's her mistake. Then you come along. Now I'm afraid all over again. I let myself love you and, bam, you could end up hating me or dying on me, too. Because of me, you made the deal with Cancer man. Because of me, you're on their shit list as a target. They've already shot you and had you framed. What's next?" After a long pause, Mulder turned on his side and dared to look over to see Skinner's reaction. When their eyes met, Walter spoke quietly, but with an edge, "Hell, Mulder, must be nice to have so much power, to be so important in the world." "What's that supposed to mean?" "I mean that you take on all this blame when its not yours to claim. In my mind that's like saying that you have all the power to control what other people do or what happens to them. You're promoting the idea that Scully can't make her own decisions to stay in the X-Files. From your vantage point I'm just this asshole who doesn't decide a thing on my own. Hell no. In your dark, egocentric universe, Mulder controls it all." "You don't understand." "I do understand. You blame yourself for every bad thing that happens. I get it. What you don't get, is you do not have the will to make Scully do anything unless she wants to. Hell, even you should realize that. Plus, I make my own choices. Give up, Mulder. Don't be greedy. Only take the blame you're entitled to, not the whole fucking shitload." "But Scully was kidnapped because of her work with me." "Stop it, Mulder. We could do this dance all night and go nowhere but a circle. Believe me, I'll tell you when you've fucked up, but none of this is your fault. Scully has cancer and I'm a damn fool who makes bad deals. Let it go." "I have trouble doing that." "No shit." Continued in The Boss 6b: Storms The Boss 6b: Storms by Grey Mulder turned over and away, his legs drawn up and his back to Walter. He allowed the raggedy blanket of fatigue to bridle his mind and muzzle his thoughts. Behind him he heard the sound of undressing, belt buckle clinking, zipper undone, shoes on the floor. The mattress sagged as his lover joined him at the edge of the bed. A hand gently touched his shoulder. "I'm really tired, Walter. I don't want to talk about this anymore tonight." "I know you're tired, Babe. I'm used to your dark clouds. I'll survive the storm and so will you." "Don't bother being nice. I've been miserable to be around lately. I know that. I'm sorry that it can't be like it was when we first started. It's just I've never been good with maintenance." "Yeah, I know. I've seen the repair bills when I sign your insurance claims." Walter's hands rubbed slowly, massaging tight shoulder blades through cotton. He whispered, "Try to relax. I just want to be here with you." Heat from a his lover's touch broke his control. Small, convulsive breaths choked with the growing wetness of uncontrolled tears. Pushing his face into the pillow, he tried to muffle his shame, to smother away the hunger. His gut twisted with a greedy need to be fed. "Walter, please touch me." "I am touching you, Mulder." "You know what I mean." "You're exhausted, Mulder. All I want is to do is stroke and hold you until you drift into cozy sleep. I want to wrap you safe in my arms and make you truly know you're safe even deep in that stubborn unconscious of yours. I want you well and whole." "Damn, Walter. You want a lot." "Maybe, but look what I've got. You fill my life, Mulder." A gentle kiss pecked his cheek. Stretching out full length behind the man in his arms, Walter settled in, a solid support. He licked and suckled the tight neck, then whispered, "You said before that the meaning of love was lost on you. Let me teach you the meaning. Let me show you that love doesn't have to hurt, that there's another way to cope with this pain without adding to it." Mulder, suddenly skittish in the embrace, tried to bend away. Walter's grip remained firm. One arm wrapped around Mulder's chest, another stroked his hair. The soft, baritone voice tickled his ear. "Can you let me try to do that for you?" "I don't know, Walter." "Please, Mulder, let me try." As Walter's voice feather-touched his skin, his heartbeat surged. Still he faltered. "It's hard to change. Even if you know what you're doing is risky, that it could destroy you, you can't make yourself stop." "When I said I loved you, I didn't mean just when things were good, but for always. That includes this. You're not well, Mulder. I think you know that if you'll let yourself admit it." Walter braced against the tensing, barely restraining his lover's rebellious form within his arms. "I'm fine. I'm just tired. You're over reacting." "You're not fine. I know you don't want to hear it, but you know it's true. You're depressed, that's clear. But there's more to it. You've got this frightening pattern of self-destruction. You need help to change it." "Maybe I don't want to change it." Cautiously, speaking in a hush, "Is that true? Be honest. Do you really want to be miserable and out of control? Do you really want to struggle just to make it through the day so you can suffer pain alone in the dark?" "I'm afraid of change." "I know. But, Mulder, alone. It's too dangerous for you and too unthinkable for me." He paused, resting his chin on the top of the dark head he cradled there. "Yes, I think I'm beginning to finally get some inkling of what's going on. God, I wish I could attend the funeral of every bitch or asshole who's done such a thorough job at shredding your life." "Sorry, Walter, but you're a little late. Most are already dead, just like you'll be eventually." Reflex kidnapped his reason. Walter wrapped and wrestled his right bare leg up and over Mulder's. He spoke with a husky power, steel bands for a voice. "Nothing you say is going to drive me away, do you hear me. You can stomp and scream. Do the Mulder Pissfest all you want, but I...am...not...leaving." Tense muscles melted back, finally relaxing against a broad chest. "Prove it." Hand busied. Pants stripped away and floated up like streamers, buttons and socks swarmed confetti in the room. His naked lover beneath him, Walter pressed skin to skin, erect cocks belly to belly. Dark brown eyes stared into a hazel wash of green and gold flecks. "Do you feel numb now, Mulder?" He humped slowly while he spoke. "Tell me what you feel." Mulder could barely speak as he squeezed his eyes shut. "You. I feel you." "Good. I want you to feel me, to know every ounce and every inch of me. I'm going to reteach you, Mulder, recondition your response. I'm going to erase those horrible memories, that squirming face of Medusa in your dreams. It paralyzes you, keeps you in the dark pattern that will destroy you. I'm going to replace your pain with pleasure." Still pumping his hips, he spread Mulder's thighs and slid himself between them. His young lover never made love with his eyes open and now he knew why. Inside his head the distorted images raced on a tattered, horror-show screen. "Listen to me, Mulder." Words caressed, while both palms fanned a pattern across a lightly-haired chest. He leaned forward and nipped the bony edge of the collar bone. Both body and cock beneath him twitched. "I'll bite you, Mulder, mark you in my own way. I'll devour you, your body as well as spirit. See me in your mind." Mulder's whole body tightened with concentration, listening to the command and comfort of the voice. "No blood, just my teeth and tongue, Mulder. Lips over the bruise. Feel me now. See me clearly in your mind." Walter nibbled and licked along the side of his lover's neck and his unshaven chin. Then he traced a trail down each arm, across the chest, down the abdomen. First a slight bite, no broken skin, but flick of tongue followed by sucking lay fire across Mulder's inflamed flesh. His body arched with a quick intake of breath when Walter engulfed his cock, his teeth raking the tender thin skin. Skinner held each of Mulder's hands to his side, forcing them to remain still. Groans and ragged breathing merged to set a rhythmic pace. As balls tightened, Skinner raised his head. Mulder struggled not to cry. "Walter, please. God, it's been so long." "I know, but you're not ready yet." "Yes I am. Please?" "Not yet." "Cocksucking tease." A glorious smile graced the dark face that produced the growl. Taking advantage of his position and Mulder's mood shift, Walter reached over and grabbed a pillow. "Raise your ass." "Thought you'd never ask. God, please hurry before I lose it." Walter frowned, realizing that Mulder's erection had begun to flag. Quickly he retrieved the lube and condom from the night stand. He slicked both hands, and then positioned between raised knees, pushed a finger in Mulder's opening. With his other hand he pumped the failing member. "Close your eyes again, Mulder. Feel my finger stab into you, sliding in and making you ready." Gradually, with each sensual rub, his erection returned , the cock weeping faster. A second finger joined the first. With a little twist, Skinner tweaked the prostate. Crystal spikes shattered and littered Mulder's mind, glass fibers pricking each cell, each layer of tissue. Another added finger forced a loud grunt. His ass cheeks clinched and signaled for speed. Walter quickly rolled on his condom. He raised Mulder's hips higher as he kneeled between his thighs. Carefully he placed the tip of his cock at the entrance ready to advance. "Mulder, listen to me. Do you feel me here?" Hardly able to respond, his tongue coated with slick black ice, Mulder nodded. He raised both his arms above his head to hold his position against the headboard, every muscle in his body tensed, his breathing labored. The salty rush of Walter's scent imprinted his memory with his own shudder. His lover's weight anchored him against the dizzy spin of the distant world as he floated in the warm wash of Skinner's compelling voice. "Good. I want you to feel me, to feel the pleasure of fullness, not the tearing of pain." He edged up against the tightness between smooth ass cheeks. "This is the real thing, Mulder. Not some fat plastic fake." He pushed in a few inches and waited for his lover to adjust. He watched tension cord the neck, wrinkles web his forehead. "Feel the heat as it impales you." Knuckles whitened as they gripped wood. Raised thighs trembled. Walter pushed in all the way. "That's me, Mulder. Do you feel that?" He did a quick, powerful hip nudge. "Answer me." Heat lightning flashed blinding red across an internal gray sky. Words raw with passion barely made it to air with a low hiss. "Yes." "Tell me what you want." Another nudge, more powerful, persistent. "Fuck me, Walter. Please." "No. Tell me what to do. Trust me to know what I'm doing here. I love you because you're worth it. You deserve love. Now, tell me what you deserve." Still buried to the hilt, Walter leaned over letting his chest burn against the taut muscles beneath him, Mulder's cock twisted and twitched between them. "Damn you, Walter. Is this some kind of goddamn test?" "Tell me, Mulder." Eyes squeezed shut, he answered sadly, "I deserve to be fucked." "No." "Yes." "No. Mulder. If you don't respect your own opinion on this yet, respect mine. You deserve my love. Say it." "I can't" "Yes, you can." The forceful voice carried no mischief, no play. Serious as a heartbeat, he repeated, "Answer again. Tell me what you deserve." Pinned beneath his lover, his ass filled with the man's cock, tears flowed down the sides of Mulder's face. "Make love to me, Walter." It was enough. Hips rocked as Walter's cock pumped into a delicious fire. Electric pulsing triggered every muscle to quickly join in. Locked together, the two men seesawed and swayed to a private rhythm. Releasing Mulder's hips, Walter reached up to capture tight nipples. Straining position, continuing to pump, he suckled at his lover's right breast. Licking and fucking married as a hand worked at stroking balls in counter rhythm to his own. After only a few minutes, pressure gripped around Skinner's cock. Several short spasms locked down quickly and eased off. As Mulder slipped down to stillness, the warm fluid coated both their bellies. Reading the question in Walter's eyes, Mulder pushed up and started moving again. Remaining quiet as he focused on his lover's face, hips and groin matched in perfect dance. A tight fist wrapped and squeezed to send Walter tumbling into the oxygen-starved paleness of flashing lights behind squeezed lids. Breathing ragged, he fell forward again, sweat-happy and pleased. Long, slender arms reached up and around his waist to his back. Slow, firm rubs massaged until he managed to raise himself enough to roll over on his side. Mulder's hands came up and pulled his face closer, capturing his mouth, lips bruising, tongue begging to enter. Chest to chest, they wrapped limbs together, flesh pressed and tightly meshed. Mulder slowed his assaulting mouth and finally pulled back. Noting the dilated pupils and still slow breathing, he asked, "You okay?" Slowly inhaling the air of the deeply satisfied, Walter smiled. "Yeah, you?" "Better, thanks." Reaching over to pull Mulder into a tender caress, he lay the dark head to rest against his chest. "Walter?" "Yeah?" "We're kind of sticky." "And?" Snuggling in tighter, Mulder reached down to pull up a blanket from the end of the bed. "Never mind." He lay listening to his lover's pounding heartbeat as it slowed down, strong and even beneath him. A hand stroked and petted his head. Then just as sleep had almost netted him into darkness, he heard a voice. "Mulder?" "Yeah?" "Are you really okay?" "Walter, I'm the teacher's pet. How much better can I get?" "I'm serious, Mulder." Sighing deeply, he pulled himself into a tight ball as if he could curl up into the complete security of his lover's lap. "I know, Walter. Don't ask too much all in one day, okay. I'm trying. Now, let's go to sleep before you have to explain to Scully how you fucked me into a coma." Walter wrapped his hold more tightly, nesting his lover between his outstretched legs. Holding him there in the warmth and darkness, he settled back thinking of crucifixion. He dreamed of torture and sacrifice, Mulder surrendered and sheltered in his arms. The End The Boss 7: Demon Bound Grey Assistant Director Walter S. Skinner leaned heavily against the wall outside Mulder's hospital room, his arms folded tightly against his chest as though they could cage the pain that pounded wildly in his chest. His head bowed, he looked like a man in prayer. He heard the clicking before he actually saw the tiny feet come to stand next to him. A light touch on his coat sleeve tingled up to his slightly flushed cheeks. No way was Agent Scully going to see him cry. No way in hell. "Sir? Are you okay?" "I'm fine, Agent Scully." He raised his head and met with bloodshot blue eyes. "You look tired. How long has it been since you got any sleep?" She smiled slightly, dismissing his concern. "I'll be alright, but you look whipped. The flight in from LA always wears me out, too." A quiet moment passed. He unfolded his arms and stood straight, turning a little closer into her space before he spoke. "I wished you'd called me as soon as you found him Sunday morning." She nodded, "I probably should have, but you were at the conference all the way across country. At that point I, we weren't even sure what was going on." "True, but I could've come back." "How? You were one of the main speakers. It would've been more than a little awkward trying to explain that you had to come take care of your mentally unstable lover, who, by the way, just happens to be the one and only Spooky Mulder, one of your subordinate agents. Excuse me, sir, but I really don't think most of the Bureau division heads would be all that understanding." "You're right, but, you still should've called after he was arrested." "I was a little busy trying to save his ass." Before he could speak, she leaned in and softly added, "Besides, sir, he asked me not to." Skinner sighed deeply and nodded, raising his hand to rub the weariness from his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to refocus. Replacing the glasses so he could see more clearly, he sighed. "I figured that. I just wish, oh never mind, it doesn't matter what I wish now." "I'm sorry, sir. I called as soon as I could." "I know that and I appreciate you taking care of him." His voice hitched, the muscles aching in his throat as he struggled to form the words. "God, Scully, did he really almost shoot himself? You faxed that report and I couldn't believe what I was reading. Please, tell me that this isn't as bad as it sounds." "I can't do that, sir. I'd be lying, and frankly, there have been enough lies lately." He looked up and away from his own fear for a moment and measured the full extent of her fatigue. The skin stretched and pulled tight around her eyes, as her whole body remained folded and compact, taut like the tripwire right before it sets off the explosion. "You should go home, Scully. I'll take over from here. Go get some rest." She nodded agreement, but didn't turn away. "I will, but first, may I speak frankly?" "Like you haven't been doing that already?" "No, I haven't been, not by a long shot." Shit. "Permission granted." "Mulder's not well. And I'm not just talking about this mess. As his partner, I've known it for some time. I think you've known it, too." "You never said anything." "Neither of us have. I believe the applicable terms are codependence and denial." "What's your point here, Scully?" "My point, sir? The point is that the Roche case should've been the last straw, but I let it go, and so did you. We're both guilty here. We both care about him and don't want to admit that he's been running on self-destruct for some time. Plus, I have to accept that I've been more than a little distracted with my own agenda lately." Skinner studied her steady features. Her incredible strength in the face of her own mortality awed him past words. "I understand that, Scully. And I'm sorry." "No reason for you to be. I think we both recognize and face death a little differently than Mulder though. He blames himself. For everything. It's made him so much worse." "I know." "I have to confess that I was so afraid that when I was gone, he'd be alone. Then, when you two first started together, he got better. I really hoped it would be enough to save him." "But it hasn't saved him, has it." "No, sir. I think we're both kidding ourselves to think that Mulder's problems could be solved by being loved when he can't bring himself to love himself." "God, Scully, you sound like you've given up on him." She edged forward, as close as she could get to his face without standing on her tiptoes. Her intensity forced him to the wall. "Don't you dare say that to me, sir. Do you think it's easy saying any of this? You've been with him for less than a month. It's been four years for me. Four years of watching him sink deeper into despair. I can't tell you how often I've cried for that man. I won't ever give up on him, even if he gives up on himself." "And you think that's what's happened?" The fear wrenched his voice to a tight whisper. She glanced down avoiding his eyes. "I don't know for sure. But this thing with that quack Goldstein has started something. He's always been desperate to remember what happened to his sister, obsessed with it. Whatever that drug made him see, scared him badly enough that he verbally attacked his own mother. He then went on to put a gun to his head and to point it at me when I tried to stop him." "Jesus, Scully." She placed her hand on his sleeve while he struggled to control the water misting his dark eyes to a blur. "Sir, he won't listen to me anymore. He loves you, but he's terrified of that and what it means." "I know." "You can't save him alone. He needs more help than either of us can give him." Fear skittered in his ears, jabbering to drown out the words he knew were coming, but that he always wanted to avoid." "You think he should see a psychiatrist?" "I'm sure I'm not saying anything new." He nodded and took a deep breath before saying. "Thanks, Scully. I'll think about it. Right now, I need to talk to him. Hell, he'd be pissed if he knew we were talking about him like this." She grinned past exhaustion, "Oh, I'm sure he already knows. Besides being depressed, obsessed, and impulsive, he's also paranoid. He thinks everyone is talking about him, which they usually are. He just doesn't care much unless it's us." "Go home, Scully. I don't want to see you at the office the rest of this week. Mulder won't be released from here for at least another 72 hours and I'm planning on taking care of him until I'm sure he can work." "Okay, but, sir, call me if you need to just talk." "My own Mulder specialist?" "Who else?" Her face once again serious, she added, "Take care with him. He's not nearly as tough as he looks or pretends. Remember what I said about carrying live rounds." "I remember. The flak jacket's packed and it still fits." "I'm sure it does, sir. Now, go in and give our boy a sloppy kiss." Turning bright red all the way to his ear tips, Skinner choked. "Scully!" "Hey, it's better than a hole in the head." His face paled. "God, Scully. Don't joke." "I have to, or I'm going to be bawling in the hallway. Hysterical agents don't do shit for the FBI macho image." "Macho Agent Scully?" "You bet your ass, sir. Don't even try me." Before he could answer, she raised a hand and gave a quick wave. "I'm going home now. Tell Mulder if he asks, that I'm taking care of his fish and that he has my number." Then her tiny heels tapped and carried her away, leaving Skinner alone outside his lover's door. Steeling himself against what he might see, the AD knocked lightly and went in. Mulder sat quiet as dead wind before a storm, staring through the slatted shades at the window. Dressed in a navy flannel robe Skinner had never seen before, the young agent sat without even acknowledging the intrusion. "Mulder?" After a few more moments, he tried again. "Mulder, I need you to say something." Without turning from the window, he barely managed, "I'm okay, Walter." Moving in closer, he stopped when he saw Mulder try to push himself back further in to the chair away from his approach. "How can you say you're okay?" "Because it's true. I mean, I know this looks bad. It is bad. But, I really am better now that it's settled down in my mind." "Now that what's settled down?" "The memories. They were so clear, like I was really there and it was happening all over again, but now they're all gone. I don't really remember them very well at all. Ever since I woke up, I've just felt so empty. Not a very pleasant feeling, but at least it's calm." "That could be the medication. They had to give you something for the seizures." "Did they? I don't remember that." "Do you remember Scully finding you at the summer house and what happened before they brought you here?" He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees, his chin on his hands. His voice thickened as he spoke slowly. "I don't recall going there, but I do see Scully standing in front of me and I'm holding a gun on her." Rocking slowly, he wrapped his arms around himself and barely spoke above a whisper. "Jesus, Walter. I almost shot her. How could I do that? Modell was one thing, but, this, I don't understand. I just wanted to be left alone." "Alone to do what, Mulder?" "I don't know. To think, to remember, to put an end to this grinding misery. I don't know." "An end?" The hurt tone of his lover's voice brought Mulder attention to Walter's face for the first time. The pain he saw slicked ice across his skin. He'd been crying. "Shit, it's not what you think, Walter." "Isn't it? "No. I just wanted all the pain to stop, but I wasn't really going to do that. I just need to be alone to sort things out." "So, Scully just made it up?" Mulder came up out of the chair, took a step to stand by his boss. "Fuck. Walter, did she write that in the report, that I was going to kill myself? Did she? Don't lie to me." "Is that what you're worried about, that it's in the official report that you're suicidal?" "Walter, I'm not. Honest. I swear to you." Nervous energy forced his frantic movements around the room, his hand pushing the uncombed hair back out of his face. "I can't believe she did that." "Did what?" "Betrayed me like that. Put it in the report." "Betrayed you? Mulder, she saved your ass this weekend. She managed to get you out of jail and rescue from whatever happened at the summer house. She did not betray you." "But the report." "Scully's almost as good as you at obscuring the facts. I haven't been reading X-Files reports for the last four years without learning what isn't written is usually more important than what is." Sagging down in relief on the side of the bed, Mulder breathed easier. He shouldn't have. "Why wouldn't you let her call me when this all started?" "What could you have done from California?" "I could've come back here. I could've done more than be uninformed and useless thousands of miles away from where you were dealing with serious trouble. I would've come, Mulder? Did you really think I wouldn't?" "Honestly?" "That's what we're trying to work on here, Mulder." "I thought you'd be too pissed to come." Skinner squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and turned to face the wall while he tried to control the anger and hurt sparring like boxers trying to take over his brain. After a few moments he succeeded in turning around without a single molar cracked. "I am pissed, Mulder, but, we've been through this before. I hope you don't get too bored hearing it, but I love you." Oddly embarrassed by the sudden directness, Mulder shifted uneasily on the bed. Before he had a chance to say anything, a nurse entered carrying a tray. "Excuse me, Mr. Mulder. It's time to take your vitals and to give you your medication." She stopped when she saw Walter, the question of his identity unspoken. He said, "I'm Assistant Director Skinner of the FBI. I'm Agent Mulder's direct supervisor. I'll step outside if you want." "No, need, Mr. Skinner. This will only take a few moments, but I hope you don't stay long. This medicine will probably make him drowsy." "Not if I don't take it." The petulant tone tweaked Walter's patience to the end of its endurance. "Don't start, Agent Mulder. You're here for observation and treatment. You'll do what you're told, or don't even think about returning to active duty any time soon. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" "Yes, sir." Challenge charged the air to an uncomfortable gnawing sensation over the skin. Mulder sat stiffly as the nurse took his temperature, pulse, and pressure. He removed his robe and didn't even flinch when she gave him the shot. Ill at ease from the obvious tension between the two men, the woman quickly left. Walter removed his coat and stood by the window. "I'm sorry I snapped at you while she was here." "Why? It's what you do." "What's that supposed to mean?" "Haven't you noticed that whenever there's an audience we both put on quite a show. Me, I'm the whipping boy. You, you're the boss. Story of my life." "That's not true." "Isn't it?" "No, and now you're trying to redirect the attention away from the problem at hand." "What problem's that?" "Don't play games, Mulder. You're in trouble." "Nothing new. You, of all people, should know that." His words slurred slightly when he spoke, the dilation of pupil growing. Walter's voice softened. "You should go to sleep. That shot's kicking in already." "Yeah, well, we crazy folks need our drugs." Shaking his head in exasperation, Skinner moved toward the edge of the bed. More relaxed and less skittish, Mulder let him near. Picking up one of the long-fingered slender hands, he brought it to his cheek breathing in deeply the familiar Mulder scent. The hand gradually came alive and flexed, outlining hungry lips, caressing them with curious fingertips. "Mulder?" "What? Don't you like my hands?" "Yes, I must admit, I do." "Like it was hard for me to figure out." Mulder turned toward Walter and reached out to fondle the front of his crotch. He chuckled at the immediate reaction. "Miss me?" "Jesus, Mulder. We're in a hospital for godsakes." "So?" He rubbed harder, outlining the cock and balls beneath wool seams. "So, I need to be able to walk out here once you fall asleep." "You're leaving?" The hands stopped moving. "Not this minute, Mulder." Hands moved again. "I want you to stay. Right here, right now." Quickly the sound of zipper going down filled the room. His lover's dark head lowered, rested on his knee, and leaned over, his sexy face on Walter's lap. "God, Mulder. Stop." His heart pounded like war drum rhythms before a charge. "Come on, sir. I've missed the taste of you on my tongue. I have a craving for salty Walter dish." A hand snaked into snare the prize. Mentally slapping himself from the daze, Walter Skinner barely managed to control the play for his straining cock by grabbing Mulder's eager hands. "Stop it, Mulder. I mean it." "Don't worry. The nurse won't be back for hours. We'll be safe." More forcefully than he intended, he held his lover's hands still. "You can't buy your way out of this with a blowjob, Mulder." Mulder's entire body stiffened and turned to sculpted stone. He hissed, "What did you just say?" "I said you're trying to distract me from talking to you about what happened." "No, you didn't. You called me a whore." Abruptly, Mulder pulled himself up as he unsteadily turned away and huddled under the covers. "I never said that, Mulder. You know I would never say such a thing." "Fuck off, Walter. Zip your goddamn pants and get out of here." Standing up, adjusting himself quickly, Walter retraced his words. "Oh, shit, Mulder. I'm such an asshole." "Yeah, you are. Join the club. Now get the fuck away from me. I'm too tired to deal with any if this right now." The trembling hand reaching for Mulder's sagging shoulder came back burned and rejected "I'm really sorry, Mulder. I didn't mean it like that. I'm tired, too. I've been up all night." "Sure. No problem. I'm giving you free head, and you throw it right back at me. Why the fuck should I care? You're through with me anyway." "I am not through with you, Mulder. I love you. I said something totally stupid and I'm sorry. I mean, give me a break here. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little upset myself. I'm not at the top of my game when my lover starts acting crazy. You're in the hospital for christ's sake." "The psych ward, Walter. What do you want to bet they've had sex fiends and deviants here before?" "It's not the psych ward. You're here because of the seizures." "Yeah, well, we both know the truth. Everybody's pretty damn sure I'm going to eat my gun any time now. Hell, they'd laugh their sorry asses off for sure if they knew what I just tried to eat." "Mulder, I want you to listen to me for a minute." "Why should I?" "Because I love you and I need you to hear me." Reluctantly, Mulder turned back to face the older man, his movements sluggish and overdone. He stretched out to full length on the bed. "Better hurry, sir. I'm starting to fade fast here. Adrenaline doesn't last like it used to." "Then maybe I'll come back later." "No, Walter, stay and talk to me now. I'm sorry about earlier. I don't know why I did that. It was stupid. As usual, my timing sucks, no pun intended." Skinner returned to sit on the edge of the bed. Carefully he reached out and placed his hand on Mulder's chest. "It wasn't stupid, but, you're right. The timing sucked. Listen, all I meant before is that you sometimes use sex to keep us from talking about things that make you uncomfortable." "I don't do that." "Yes, you do. Now, I want you to rest, but I also want you to know that I'm not leaving, not now, and not later. I'm not really sure what I have to do to convince you, but I'll work on a strategy while you're sleeping." Mulder could barely form words as his eyes closed and Skinner stroked his hair, petting him like a big napping cat. "I hope it includes all kinds of kinky persuasion." "Persuasion, yes. Kinky? Well, we'll talk." "Talk, talk, talk. Whatever happened to Skinner, man of action?" "He fell in love with a man named Mulder, and don't you dare accuse me of no action." Walter's hand slid down between long thighs, under the gown, and found a flaccid member. With his touch, it quickly came to life. "I'm sorry about earlier." "Oh, god that feels good. Please tell me you're going to fondle me into blissful oblivion. Oh, god, Walter. I hate to admit this, but you just might be the answer to my prayers." Mulder's breathing slowed as his eyelids closed. His body and mind slipped passed the sometimes tenuous boundary between awareness and sleep. Lovingly and with great care, Walter stopped his long caresses and arranged the covers to keep his the man of his dreams warm. He leaned over and brushed the pouty lips with his own. Fondly, he brushed his resting lover's hair back away from his face and felt the rough edge of a scab. Terror tingled his finger tips as a terrible dread taunted the back of his mind. He'd sacrifice his own life, his reputation, his very soul to save this man beside him. Visions of candles, crosses, Madonna's and gold all dangled like shiny promises just out of his grasp, almost beyond his faith. Then he realized that his personal savior lay much closer to home. Placing his hand over Mulder's slumbering heart, he bowed his head once again. The End The Boss 8: Lost, but Found by Grey Warning: This is drama/romance between two men. If you can't handle that particular style, go now and read no further. If you decide to stay to satisfy some perverse curiosity, don't blame me for any adverse reactions. However, should you become enlightened, thanks and appropriate praise are always appreciated. Disclaimer: These guys belong to Fox and Chris Carter, but I'm borrowing them for my own vicarious thrills. Summary: This is part of the "The Boss" universe when Mulder and Skinner have been lovers since right after "Zero Sum". This story occurs after the "Redux II" hallway scene. Sorry, I can't put a number on it, because I'm writing out of order. It's also in response to a recent challenge. I was on vacation so I said why not? Archive: Yes to MKRA/MSSS and anywhere else as long as my name stays. E-Mail Grey853@aol.com Rating: NC-17 for explicit sex and strong language. No physical violence. The Boss: Lost, but Found by Grey Walter Skinner closed the door quietly behind him and stood relieved that Agent Scully would indeed recover. The miracle astounded him, but not as much as the miracle of seeing his lover alive and leaning back against the wall outside his partner's room with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. Mulder was truly alive. Regardless, the sorry son of a bitch had a lot to answer for. "Mulder?" Swollen, red-rimmed eyes opened to meet Skinner's concerned stare. "Yeah?" "You okay?" "I'm alive." "Yeah. How about that." The two studied each other intensely for a few more moments before Skinner continued. "Scully's busy with family for awhile longer. Let's get you home before you pass out." Mulder hesitated. "I really wanted to see her before I left." "You can see her again tomorrow. She has a future now." With a stronger emphasis, but a lower, more hushed tone he persisted, "She asked me to take you home, Mulder. She's worried about you." "She's worried about me?" Mulder leaned forward and then stretched up, the bones popping slightly in his back. "Sounds like Scully." "She's not the only one worried, Mulder. We need to talk." Mulder avoided looking at his boss for a few more minutes. Then he spoke very quietly. "I know, Walter. I know. Just give me a little time. I'm really tired." "Time? Sure, Mulder. Thank god we still have some time." The steely quality of his lover's voice wasn't lost on the young agent. "I know you're still angry. I promise we'll talk. Right now I'm just too tired to think straight." "I understand that. Let's go. I'll drive you home." "I've got a car." "I don't care. You're not fit to drive right now. Too much has happened. Frankly, I don't trust you behind the wheel tonight." Mulder studied the dour expression on Skinner's face. He hated the fact that he was mostly the reason for the extreme fatigue he saw there. He wanted to grab the man and hold him. More than that, he wanted Walter to caress him in return. He knew that wouldn't happen here in the hallway for the world to see. He worried most that it might never happen again. "Let's go, Walter. But don't take me back to my apartment. I want to go to your place. I don't want to be alone yet." "Do you really think I'd leave you alone right now? You really are tired, Mulder. Come on. Get up and let's get out of here." Mulder stood slowly and slipped the blood-stained picture of himself and Samantha into his pants pocket. Walter had surprised him by bringing it from the crime scene of the smoking man's apartment. He shook his head slightly to clear the confusion he felt. There was so much to sort through, he didn't even know where to begin. Then he straightened and looked directly into the dark eyes that studied him. He realized that he did indeed know where to begin. More than anything, he had to get right with Walter. "Come on, sir. Let's get the hell out of this god awful place." *********** Later, Skinner unlocked the door to his apartment. The two men entered silently and, once inside, remained quiet a while longer . Finally, Walter said, "Why don't you go take a shower? I've got some fresh sweats you can put on. Then you need to sleep. We'll talk about all this later." Mulder reached out, shyly touching the shoulder of the AD. "Walter, I'm sorry. Please, don't be so upset. I'm okay." "Well, I'm not." Skinner shrugged off the hand and turned to stare directly into Mulder's face. He'd wanted to contain himself, control his anger, but he found himself roaring anyway. "What the fuck did you think you were doing? For god's sake, Mulder, I thought you were dead." A terrible, ragged-edged pain dripped from his words and Mulder shrank back. He turned away and dropped his eyes to gaze helplessly at the floor. "Jesus, Walter. Don't even look at me anymore. You should hate me for what I've done. I should go." "Hate you? Are you so totally fucked up that you'd think I could ever hate you? I love you more than my own breath, but you make me so fucking mad I can't even see reason sometimes." "I'm sorry, Walter. I need you, but I'll understand if you can't forgive me. I can't forgive myself. I'm such a worthless shit." A frail voice barely managed the feeble words. All the puff and fearful anger evaporated from Skinner's body. Suddenly he took Mulder by the shoulders and pulled him close. The man's despair gripped his heart and tried to strangled away hope. Mulder let his head rest on the older man's shoulder and floated in silky warmth as Walter began to gently stroke his hair. "My god, Mulder. You're my very soul. You make my heart ache listening to you talk like that." They stood holding one another for a moment longer. Walter realized that Mulder's body trembled in his arms. Softly he whispered while he continued his soothing rubs. "Come on, lover. It's going to be okay. I want you to go upstairs, take a shower, and freshen up. I'll fix you something warm to eat. You can sleep and then we'll talk." Mulder looked up into Walter's face, his hazel eyes misted. "You forgive me?" "I'd forgive you anything, Mulder. Haven't you figured that out by now? Haven't you finally realized how much I love you? It matters to me what you do, but no matter what it is, I will always love you. It's unconditonal and absolute." "Jesus, Walter. I'll never begin to ever understand you, but I love you, too." A slight smile graced his face as Walter leaned forward and kissed Mulder gently on his forehead. Then he slipped his mouth further down to brush against pouty lips. Mulder tasted of dusky smoke, of pepperment gum, and bittersweet memories laced in foggy thoughts. "I never doubted it. Now, go on. Get cleaned up." Mulder hesitated. "I will, but first I have to tell you something." "It can't wait?" "I don't think so. I haven't had a chance to tell you what really happened. I need to tell you this before I lose my nerve. There's no way I can sleep until I do." Worry branded Skinner's already tired features. He shrugged off his coat and settled down on the sofa. "Okay, Mulder. Tell me what you have to say. I'm listening." Nervously Mulder paced as if preparing to present a play. "First, you have to understand, Walter. That night I was devastated. I mean, Scully actually acted like she believed I was responsible for her cancer. I know I always believed it, but as long as she never said it, I thought I was safe. Now here she was right in front of me telling me that she'd been given this disease, this awful death sentence, to make me believe. I couldn't handle that." Walter kept his mouth shut knowing that Mulder needed to confess. He continued to listen, his heart heavy and throbbing from the knowledge of his lover's pain. "You never saw the surveillance shots of that night because I took them after I shot the guy who had been watching me. Imagine it, Walter. Here I was crying like a baby with a gun to my head, and this guy was getting it all on tape. It was humiliating." Light narrowed. His breathing momentarily stopped. The whole world became deaf. Slowly reality poked at his skin, nudging him to speak. "Say that again, Mulder." Mulder stopped his frantic pacing and stood absolutely still as if he only then realized what he'd admitted. A jolt of terror flashed and sizzled his tongue. He wanted to suck the words back from open space. Trying to keep his voice steady and his body calm, Walter repeated slowly, "I said, say that again about the gun to your head." "Why? I think you know what I said." "Shit. Are you actually telling me that blowing your head off was the original plan?" "Yeah, Walter, I guess I am. If I hadn't gotten the call warning me that I was being watched, I might even have gone through with it." "Son of a bitch." Icy fog traced trails of fear through his gut. He wanted to puke up shattered glass, but remained absolutely still instead. Mulder's desperate image became a tattoo to his brain. Mulder let his body sag down in a chair. "I know. Looking back, I'm not sure how I got to that point. It all seems so unreal now, and yet, it was very real at the time." "You mean to tell me that you actually were going to kill yourself?" "I didn't know what else to do, Walter. You were still pissed about the Goldstein thing and were threatening to mandate counseling." "Silly me. Jesus Christ, Mulder. You let the man drill fucking holes in your head for, not just once, but twice. He had seizures. Goddamn you, Mulder. You were scaring the shit out of me." The shrill anger in his voice cut the air like crystal shards against a baby's newborn flesh. "I know that, Walter, and at that point I was willing to do it again. I was willing to do anything to relieve some of the unbearable pain, to find out what really happened to my sister." For a moment Mulder's voice thickened and choked. He couldn't even deal with that part yet, not yet. A spike of anguish pierced his mind with the memory of seeing and losing his sister in just one night. Pushing it away like a thorny bush, he dragged one hand across his face. Then he continued, speaking in a raspy whisper. "Scully blamed me, or I thought she did. More importantly I blamed myself. I thought I'd lost you forever. Scully was going to die and you were so angry. I was alone again. I'd lost you. Then, I lost myself, Walter." A tear streaked down Walter Skinner's face. He hadn't even cried when he'd first heard that Mulder was dead. He hadn't let himself believe it was true except for a brief instant. He'd kept himself busy disproving it, hammering the nails of evidence into the foundation of belief that would support him until he found Mulder alive. Now, sitting here with the dejected figure before him, he couldn't stop himself. Slowly, he stood and walked over to stand beside his lover. He placed a reassuring hand on his slumped shoulder. "Mulder, are you lost now?" Keeping his head lowered, he whispered, "I would be if you couldn't forgive me." "Mulder, I have forgiven you. I've told you I love you. If I have to tell you that every five minutes for the rest of your life to make you believe it, I will. Now, the question is can you forgive yourself?" "I don't know how to do that. I don't even know where to begin." "Mulder, come upstairs with me. I want to show you where to start." Tears flowed freely down his face as Mulder managed to stand. "Okay." Taking his hand, Walter led the way to his bed. By its edge he stopped and started to slowly remove Mulder's tie and shirt. Meanwhile, his young lover did the same for him. Strong palms placed themselves against Mulder's bare chest, and he took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. A wet tongue lapped at his left nipple right over his heart. "Walter, it's been so long." "I know, babe. I know. Let me get you out of those pants and into the bed." He stripped Mulder down quickly, turned him, and then pushed him back across the quilted covers. Naked Mulder lay there drinking in the rich masculine lines of his boss. He longed for the muscles of his chest to press against his own. "Walter, please. I need to be with you." "I'm not going anywhere, Mulder. No matter how many times you try to push me away, no matter what you do, you belong to me. We belong to each other. All the other problems, we'll figure out together." "I need you to show me how much you forgive me." Stripped of his own clothes, Skinner reached out and spread Mulder's long legs. Kneeling between them, he leaned forward and kissed the tip of his cock. "Oh, Jesus." "No, Mulder. It's Walter. It'll always be Walter." He took the young man's cock in his large hand and then licked the crown again. It grew and thickened in his fist. Pre-cum flowed and the tang of arousal filled the AD's throat. Moans of pleasure spurred him on. With his free hand, he cradled the balls already tight from excitement. He brushed his bristled face against the tender skin of inner thigh. Suddenly, Mulder put his hand on Walter's head and huskily pleaded, "Stop, Walter. Please, I need you to stop a minute." "Stop?" "I want you in me. You keep doing that, and I'm going to be gone in no time." Smiling with understanding, Walter gave one final quick flick of his tongue. "Your wish, Mulder. Move back on the bed." While Mulder repositioned himself, Walter reached for the lube and the condom. Then he hesitated for a moment before he asked, "Are you sure about this, Mulder? I mean, we don't have to do this right now. We can wait until you're rested." "Walter, if you don't do it now, I'll never forgive you." "Never let it be said, I didn't let you have your way." "I know. You've spoiled me rotten." Then with a whisper he added. "You've spoiled me for anyone else." "I should certainly hope so, Mulder. I'll never give you up. If you believe anything, you'd better believe that." "Make me believe it." He crawled back on the bed, this time straddling the long, limber legs of his lover. Stroking gently up his torso, he leaned forward for another kiss. Mulder could taste himself on Walter's lips and groaned. "Come on, Walter. Please, don't make me beg." "Okay, begging can come later, but don't be so impatient. We've got a lifetime, Mulder." "I want to believe that, Walter, but right now my brain is mush. I want you inside me, to show me that no matter what, I can please you." "My god, Mulder. You please me by breathing." Skinner coated his hand with lube and he shifted himself so he could reach between Mulder's legs. "Lift up a little." Mulder brought his knees up and clenched his eyes shut as he relished the sensation of the finger that entered him. It moved in and out while a second hand stroked the inside of his calves and then moved up to his cock. A mouth sucked at his navel and he couldn't keep himself from the rhythmic moving of his hips. A second finger pushed in and touched his prostate. Fire ripped through his tight belly and lights flashed behind his lids. "Walter, you'd better hurry, or it's going to be wasted." "Nothing's wasted, Mulder." Despite his calm tone, Skinner flushed with his own excitement and quickly pushed in a third finger. "Are you ready, Mulder?" "Let me turn over, Walter. I need to be on my stomach." "I want to see your face, babe." "I know, but, please, for now, I really need to turn over." Walter knew from previous encounters that Mulder's orgasm would be even stronger face down. Praying that mere stars would be novas for his hungry lover, he purred, "Okay, over easy then." Mulder shifted and then raised his ass up further. Walter put on his condom and positioned himself thigh to thigh, his thick cock at the entrance. "Let me know if I go too fast. I never want to hurt you." "I've told you before, I don't mind if it hurts. Sometimes I even need to hurt." "I know, but I won't hurt you, Mulder. Never on purpose. Never." "Come on, Walter. Do it. Do it hard." Carefully, he pushed in and despite the earlier preparations, resistance pushed back. He draped himself across his lover's back and eased in with more pressure. Mulder's breathing became ragged and uneven as he moaned with pleasure. Sweat glistened on his back and Walter licked the saltiness of Mulder's neck. His whole back arched and Walter buried himself to the hilt. Trembling began and Mulder barely managed to groan, "Move, Walter. You're killing me here." Without further instruction, Skinner began short even strokes that began to build in intensity. Braced and supported by Walter's strength, Mulder's whole body moved in rhythm with the motion he'd set. Walter's hand snaked around and wrapped around Mulder's cock. Both bodies reared up together, Walter gripping tightly the tense, muscled torso as it bucked in frustration. He continued pumping his cock in and out and finally Mulder's whole body jerked out of control in his arms. Semen spurted over his hand and mighty ass muscles clenched around his cock. Spasms claimed him and he thought his heart would stop. Breathing certainly did for awhile. Still clutching Mulder in his arms, he let the sparkling lights subside and lowered himself and his lover back to the bed. He rolled them both on their sides and just lay there while the trembling eased. Breathing began again slowly. At first Walter thought the wetness on arm must have been sweat, but then he felt the shaking begin and heard the muffled sound of a quiet sob. Tears soaked his skin and he let his young, troubled friend cry within the comfort of his embrace. Lovingly, he stroked and petted Mulder's hair and held him as tightly as he could. After a few minutes, the crying lessened. A soft, throaty voice said, "Thank you, Walter." Walter Skinner reached down to pull a blanket over the two still entwined forms. "I love you, Mulder. Just rest now. I've got you. You're safe." "Not lost?" "No, Mulder. Not lost, not ever again." The End of THE BOSS: Lost, but Found