From weiland@ub1.ub.rug.nl Fri Mar 14 12:18:55 1997 Subject: Breaking glass (1/1) by Nanda Weiland From: weiland@ub1.ub.rug.nl Date: Fri, 14 Mar 1997 18:18:55 +0000 -------- TITLE: Breaking glass (I love the sound of ...) (1/1) AUTHOR: zephirine (aka Nanda Weiland) EMAIL ADDRESS: zephirine@geocities.com RATING: PG (to be on the safe side :) ) CLASSIFICATION: V, H CONTENT WARNING: A bit of UST SUMMARY: A "glasses" story! Scully takes a closer look at Mulder's way with women. DISCLAIMER: The characters and situations of the television program "The X Files" are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and Ten-Thirteen Productions, and have been used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended. Nick Lowe's songtitle "I love the sound of breaking glass" is used without permission, but no copyright infringement is intended. Amy, this one's for you, to put on your *spec*tacular LOMIG- site. I hope I earned my membership with this one. :-) ------------------------------------------------ FBI-Headquarters, basement office, 2.45 PM Slowly, nonchalantly, Mulder jawned, and stretched his hands out over his head. The luxurious feeling of muscles moving beneath his crisp white linen shirt made him feel very good. The day had started off nicely and might end even nicer. Because she might come in any minute now. Time to get ready. He reached into his desk drawer and reached for the elegantly crafted box he kept his glasses in. He took them out and with a sideways glance at Scully he put them on. Good. Scully seemed to be so engrossed in her own work that she hadn't noticed. A faint smile playing around his lips, he tried to concentrate again on the file in front of him. 2.50 PM "Mulder, tell me, why are you wearing glasses?" "Huh?" "I asked why you are wearing glasses. You know, the ones you just put on five minutes ago. Perhaps it has something to do with a certain blonde female detective that might walk in any moment as you have a scheduled appointment with her at three o'clock? I know your medical file better than anyone else -including you- and there is no pressing need for you to wear glasses. A dioptry of minus a half is no reason to wear corrective glasses when you're reading. The file you are reading doesn't use a corps smaller than 12 points. Which you should be able to read just fine. Or did your eyesight deteriorate in a mere five minutes? Perhaps it's an X-file." - Oh God, no. - A sinking, already familiar feeling settled in Mulder's stomach. This was going to be another one of Scully's "bash- Mulder-around-and-see-what-makes-him-tick" things. Once every while Scully would go into these psychology rants of hers. He hadn't even recovered from the last one a week ago when she went off on his messiness and how that reflected his thought processes. He hated and dreaded these talks. Most of all because she was usually right. As she was right now. He moaned inwardly as he took off his glasses, wiped them clean on his tie and lay them on the desk. "You see, Mulder, that's what I mean. If you *really* needed your glasses you wouldn't be wiping them on your tie, the material might scratch your glasses. Don't squint. You have no reason to squint. It's *not* in your medical file." "But it's a silk tie, it doesn't scratch. And I don't ...", Mulder protested in vain. He knew that nothing he would be saying for the next few minutes would get Scully to stop from ranting. Well. Allright. Time to put defense number one in action. Studied devil-may- care attitude. Lean back in the chair, feet on the desk, hands behind the head. And: action! "What are you implying, Scully? That I would stoop to cheap tricks to get female attention?" "Mulder, sometimes I wonder if the only reason you studied *psychology* was to learn all the cheap tricks in the book to get female attention." In the back of Mulder's mind he could faintly hear horns sounding retreat. He felt sick as he realised that his first line of defense was down. Well. Allright. - Time for defense number two. Innuendo. Bow forward slightly. Patented leer online. And: action! - "And tell me, Scully, does it work for *you*? But Scully, trained as she was in dealing with this kind of Mulder talk, chose not to answer. "I've been thinking, Mulder," Scully said as she closed off her computer with a few well-aimed strokes. The panicked clatter of hooves and the frightened yells of soldiers retreating in utter chaos clamored in his head. She just went round that one, without even bothering to attack! Second and last line of defenses down. - Oh, my God. She says she's been thinking: trouble, I'm in *big* trouble. - He squirmed as his partner swiveled her chair round so she was facing him. Torture it was. Sheer torture. Torquemada would be proud of her. And Machiavelli. Psychological torture was Scully's forte where he was concerned. She didn't need any handcuffs to get him were she wanted him. - Err, bad thought. Very, *very* bad thought right now... - "As I see it," Scully continued relentlessy, "the only time you are wearing your glasses is when you have the slightest opportunity of impressing a woman with your supposed weakness. Showing yourself as being not completely perfect because your eyesight needs correction, you prey upon the notion that women fall for men being less than perfect. Well, I have news for you, Mulder. We don't fall for that kind of thing. We certainly are attracted to men wearing glasses. The kind that is wearing them because they would trip over their feet and everybody else's if they didn't. The kind that wakes up in the morning and reaches for his glasses because otherwise he doesn't know which side of the bed he should get out and, yes, to your kind as well." "My kind?" Mulder asked in a weak voice. "Yes, your kind. Men that don't wear glasses because otherwise they wouldn't see the world clearly but because they have a terrible need to be seen. You think that women fall for this. That we think you're cute and cuddly and adorable and up for grabs. We do all of those things. But not for the reason *you* think. We fall for you because you are so *incredibly* stupid that you think you can fool us with plain glass spectacles. We see through that ploy. It's pathetic. And *that*, my dear Mulder, is what's making you cute and cuddly and adorable and up for grabs." - She. Thinks. I'm. Cute. And. Up. For. Grabs. - He couldn't believe what he had just heard. Everything else was forgotten. His mouth fell open and a slow, goofy smile spread over his face. He stood up and leaned over to reach out and hug her. But as she concluded her speech she pushed Mulder back with an evil grin on her face: "And now you are ruining the effect. Close your mouth, Mulder, you're drooling". And as he fell backwards on his desk the sound of glass breaking and a door opening went unheard because of Scully's laughter. THE END zephirine, LOMIG #21 Comments welcome at zephirine@geocities.com