From: McKab <mckab@worldnet.att.net>
Date: Sun, 31 Mar 2002 21:42:44 -0500
Subject: Camp Hero by McKab
Source: direct

Part 27
	Michael almost fell out of bed when the first crack of 
thunder sounded.  It was frighteningly loud and Ruffus 
whined by the door.  
	"Susie?" Michael asked, sitting up.
	No answer.
	Michael frowned then tried to do what Susan taught him 
to do.  He focused his concentration on  Susan or rather 
how she felt to him.
	Nothing.
	He scrambled out of bed and started to search the 
cabin for her when he realized he was naked.  Not a good 
thing to be doing without a stitch on.  He searched for his 
boxers and pulled them on, balancing on one foot as he did.  
With that accomplished, he quickly searched the open areas 
of the cabin and found nothing.  He turned to go toward the 
back and almost tripped on Ruffus in the process.
	Another crack of thunder and the room was illuminated 
by lightening.  The downpour sounded loudly as it hammered 
the roof.  Ruffus whined again.
	Surely she wasn't outside during this.
	Michael walked to Dana and Mulder's room and paused 
with his hand in the air.  Should he wake them?  Mulder 
needs his sleep and so does Dana for that matter.  He 
started to turn away when the door suddenly opened.  It was 
Scully.
	Scully was startled to see Michael standing half naked 
before her.  She started to say something when he spoke.
	"Have you seen Susan?" he asked.
	Scully shook her head.  "No.  I just got up, the 
thunder woke me."
	He gave her a rueful smiled.  "Afraid of thunder?"
	She rolled her eyes.  "Not since I was six," she said 
smiling.  "No, actually, I like to watch storms.  I was 
going to watch it from the front porch."
	Michael sighed, that's probably what Susan was doing, 
too.  He felt like an idiot.  "Susan's probably out there 
already," he said.
	"Scully?" Mulder said, sounding groggy.  "Whazz goin' 
on?"
	Scully looked over her shoulder at him.  He was 
starting to sit up.  "Nothing, Mulder, go back to sleep."
	He didn't say anything, but tossed the blankets aside, 
starting to get out of bed, very slowly.  "What's going 
on?" he asked sounding more awake.
	"Nothing, Mulder, Mike's just looking for Susan."
	"Oh," was all he said, sitting back down.  "Well, 
she's not in here."  He looked around the room.  "At least 
I don't think so."
	Scully turned her attention back to Michael.  
	"I'm going to see if she's out there," Michael said 
before he turned to make his way to the front door.
	She nodded to him and closed the bedroom door behind 
her.  She had slipped on a pair of sweatpants after she got 
out of bed and padded silently towards Michael.  "Is she 
out there?" Scully asked.
	Michael closed the door and shook his head, no.
	"Maybe she's on the back porch", Scully offered.
	He shrugged then walked to the back door and opened 
it.  Again, he didn't find Susan as he looked around the 
porch.
	"Maybe I should go look for her," he said.  He still 
hadn't put on anything other than boxers and the cool air 
the rain brought with it was causing goose flesh to blossom 
on his chest.  He really didn't notice it, though
	Scully came up next to him, her arms around her chest 
in an effort to warm herself.  "In that?"
	Michael sat down heavily on the top step, the rain 
drenching his feet.  "I don't know," he sighed.
	Scully sat down next to him.  "I'm sure she's fine," 
she said softly, her hand on his shoulder.  His skin was 
warm and soft.  "If you go out looking for her it won't 
accomplish anything.  You'll only get yourself lost and 
then we'll have to go out looking for you."
	He smiled at her.  "You shouldn't be out here, you'll 
catch a cold," he said.
	Scully smiled.  "You can't get sick from the rain and 
cold," she said with an authoritative note in her voice.  
"I know, I'm a doctor."
	"Yeah, but it can't be good for the baby," he said.
	Still keeping her hand on his shoulder, she rested the 
other on her belly.  "The baby's fine."
	He nodded then looked away.  "What the hell is she 
doing out there?" he asked.
	"Maybe she went for a walk and got caught in the 
rain," Scully said.
	He sighed.  "Yeah, maybe."  He looked at her again and 
could see that she was tired.  "Go inside, Dana.  Go back 
to bed.  I can hang out here by myself."
	She pursed her lips. She really didn't want to go back 
to bed, even though she was a bit tired.  "If it's all 
right, I'd like to stay out here."
	He smiled.  "I'd like your company," he said.
	She returned his smile and ran her hand over his 
shoulder before she brought it to her lap.  She watched the 
rain and lightening flashes, listening to the booming of 
the thunder.  It brought back memories of her sitting on 
the porch when she was little with her brother, Charlie.  
They used to love sitting out on the porch when they were 
kids watching the storms.  
Scully glanced at Michael out of the corner on her 
eye.  He was leaning forward, his elbows in his knees, 
hands clasped together, looking out into the night.  She 
could see his anxiety as he scanned the area with worried 
eyes.  He looked so young and innocent.  She smiled because 
he reminded her of her brother.  She shook her head.  She 
had a feeling about Michael ever since she got to know him 
and finally figured it out.  He reminded her of Charlie; 
that's why she felt so comfortable around him.  She knew 
that he was deeply in love with Susan, so he was `safe'.  
She felt as relaxed in his presence as he seemed to be in 
hers.
Mike and Charlie were about the same age and had 
similar dispositions.  They were both quick to smile and 
were demonstrative about their feelings.  Yeah, they looked 
nothing alike, Charlie was tall and slim while Mike was the 
big, brawny type, but the look in their eyes were the same 
- innocence laced with a bit of the devil.  
The last night before Charlie joined the Marines, they 
sat like this watching a storm.  It was cold outside and he 
had slung an arm over her shoulder in an effort to warm 
her.  They had become closer in the past few months out of 
necessity.  Their father was disappointed in the paths they 
had chosen for their lives.  Dana was considering going 
into Pathology instead of something more prestigious like 
Cardiology or something more fit for a woman like 
Pediatrics.  And Charles, God forbid, was going to the 
other side.  He was joining the Marine Corps instead of 
doing what their brother Bill had done and followed their 
father's footsteps into the Navy.  It was no secret that 
marines and sailors didn't get along.
She smiled again.
"What?" Michael asked.
She frowned.  "What, what?"
"You were smiling at me," he said.
She looked away.  "I was just thinking."  She turned 
back to him.  "I was thinking that you remind me of my 
brother."
He sat up.  "Yeah?  How so?"
She shrugged.  "You, two are a lot alike, that's all."
He nodded.  "Well, you don't remind me at all of my 
sister."
She snorted.  "Yeah, why?"
"She's a bitch."
Scully laughed.  "Well, I guess that's a compliment."
He nodded.  "She's not really a bitch, all the time."  
He added.  "She has her moments."
"Don't we all."
"Mmmm," was his answer.
They sat quietly again for a few moments before 
Michael spoke again.
"Did Susie tell you she's not on the pill anymore?" he 
asked.
Scully nodded.  "She told me this afternoon."
He smiled.  He liked the fact that Susan had a friend 
she could confide in.  "We've decided we're going to try to 
get pregnant."
Scully grinned.  "That's great, Michael," she said, 
putting her hand on his shoulder again, giving it a 
squeeze.  "What made you guys go for it?"
He shrugged.  "I don't know, but I think it might have 
something to do with you."
She frowned.  "Me?"
"Susan doesn't just forget things, you know?"
"You think she forgot to refill the prescription on 
purpose?" Scully asked.
Michael thought about it for a minute.  "Not 
consciously, but I think deep down she did."
Scully made a face.  "Isn't Susan the psychologist?"
He chuckled.  "Yeah, but I think being around you 
reminds her of when she was pregnant with our first baby."
"The one you lost," Scully whispered.
"Yeah," he sighed and looked away.
Scully mentally kicked herself for saying that.  She 
never really discussed it with Michael, but she could guess 
it bothered him that they lost a baby.  It was confirmed by 
the look on his face.
"Mike," she started, but he interrupted her.
 "As much as she's afraid of our child having her 
gift, she really enjoyed being pregnant.  She really wants 
a baby," he said as if the last few moments hadn't 
happened.
Scully smiled.  "And from what I understand, so do 
you."
He grinned and leaned back on his hands.  "You have no 
idea.  I can't wait to have a child of my own.  I just wish 
it didn't take nine months before I could hold it."
Scully nodded.  "Believe me, a lot of women agree with 
you."
He snorted.  "Yeah, but it's not the same thing.  You 
get to carry it, feel it inside you.  I have to wait to do 
that."  He looked out toward the night.
Scully didn't say anything.
"Susan can show me how it feels, but it's not the same 
thing as holding it in your hands, feeling his or her 
little body breathing, smelling it, holding it against your 
chest, you know?"
When Scully didn't respond he looked back at her.  She 
had a far away look on her face and tears filled her eyes.  
He quickly went back through the things he'd said trying to 
figure out what he might have said wrong.  He didn't have a 
clue.
"Dana, what is it?" he turned his whole body to face 
her, he's knees bumping her thighs.
His saying her name broke her out of her thoughts and 
she looked at him.
"Are you all right?" he asked, laying a hand on her 
arm.
She sniffed and gave him a watery smile.  "Nothing, 
it's nothing.  I'm fine."
He frowned.  "I doubt that."
She wiped at her eyes.  "Really, I'm fine."
He cocked his head at her.  He wasn't going to give 
up.
She shook her head.  "Really, I'm fine," she 
reiterated.  "It's just that you seem so happy about this 
and what you said sounded so heartfelt it made me teary.  I 
know how you feel."  She shook her head again.  "Really, 
it's nothing, probably just hormones."
Michael didn't believe her, but didn't persue it.  He 
smiled.  "Yeah, hormones are a bitch," he said causing her 
to laugh.  He slung an arm over her shoulder bringing her 
closer.  "Let's watch the storm, sis.  Hopefully, Susan 
will be back soon."
She rested her head on his shoulder feeling like she 
was transported back to a time where the hardest choices 
seemed trivial now.
***
	Mulder turned away from his position at the back door.  
He had heard the entire conversation and if it were 
possible he was feeling worse then he'd felt in a long 
time.
	"Life sucks, huh?" came a voice from the living room.  
Ryan was sitting staring at the empty fireplace, a bottle 
of whiskey in his hand.
	God, what Mulder wouldn't do for a drink right now, 
but he knew what would happen to him if he mixed vicodin 
and whiskey.  He thought he felt bad now.
	"Sometimes," Mulder said coming over to sit next to 
him.
	"So, whatcha do ta put yourself on da shit list?" Ryan 
asked, his words slurred from the whiskey.
	Mulder watched him take a long swig of the bottle 
wincing inwardly at the thought of the fire sliding down 
his throat.  It didn't seem to bother Ryan at all.
	"At an emotional level, I'm a two year old," Mulder 
said sarcastically.
	Ryan humpfed.  "Join da club," he said.  "Me?  I just 
keep screwin' up and disappointin' my wife."
	"Join the club," Mulder muttered to himself.
	"Huh?" Ryan asked, the bottle at his lips.
	"Ah, how so?" Mulder asked.
	Ryan took another swig.  "Came home drunk one too many 
times.  But dis time it was durin' a party celebratin' my 
wife's promotion."
	Mulder winced, he could picture that.
	"My in-laws were dere, my kids, my friends, my wife's 
friends, her boss and coworkers."
	Mulder didn't say anything, Ryan seemed to need to 
talk and it helped him forget what he had just heard on the 
back porch.  If nothing else, he was a coward and afraid to 
face his own feelings.  It was easier to watch someone else 
suffer.
	"I'd just gotten laid off, got da notice dat morning.  
Cutbacks, dey said," he spat.  "Bullshit.  Greed is what I 
call it."
	"What did you do for a living?"
	"Architect, for one of da largest firms in Boston, 
dose sonsabitches.  If it wasn't for me and the accounts I 
brought in, dey'd still be handin' out their business cards 
at the local shoppin' malls."
	Mulder didn't respond to that, he wasn't sure how.
	"I came home about an hour late, boy was Molly pissed 
at me."  He snorted.  "She tore me a new asshole, right 
dere in fronta everybody."  He brought the bottle to his 
lips.  "It seems dee only ding I'm good at his hurtin' 
her," he said, taking a drink.
	Mulder looked toward the back door.  Join the club, he 
thought.
***

Susan ran, tripping over roots and knocking into 
branches as she did.  One nasty fall caused her to scrape 
her palms on a tree and bang her head on a low hanging 
branch.  She could feel a wetness on her forehead but 
wasn't sure if it was rain of blood.  At this point, she 
didn't care. 
	She had no idea where she was running to or exactly 
what she was doing.  She promised herself that she wasn't 
going to do something like this and what is she doing?  
Chasing a phantom in the dark woods in the rain.  What was 
the matter with her?  Curiosity and stupidity, Susan 
guessed.
	Susan fell again, her knees falling on a small pine 
tree that would do Charlie Brown proud.  She could feel the 
pine needles cutting into the skin.  That was it.  She was 
bruised and beaten, she wasn't doing this anymore.  She 
started to stand when she felt a warmness settle over her.  
She looked up from her kneeling position to see a hand 
being offered to her.  Her eyes traveled up his hand to his 
face.  It was Gabe.
	He was standing before her offering a hand to help her 
up.  He smiled at her as she put her hand in his and was 
lifted effortlessly to her feet.  As soon as her hand made 
contact with his she forgot the rain, the cold, any pain 
she was feeling, only his hand.  She felt only warmth and 
peace.  He released her hand when she stood on unsteady 
legs.  His smile was one of complete happiness and joy upon 
seeing her.  He was as she remembered him, but he was dry 
and it was pouring.  There also seemed to be a light about 
him.  
	Susan wondered if she had finally lost it.
	His smile widened.  "You are not insane, Susan," he 
said.
	Susan gave him an odd look, he knew what she was 
thinking, she must have lost it.  She wasn't sure what to 
say to him, so she said the first thing that popped in her 
head.  "You're dead."
	His smile turned indulgent.  "Only in the corporeal 
sense," he said.
	She licked her lips.  "Why are you here?"
	"I have a message for you," he said, his voice 
sounding melodic as it traveled to her.
	"A message.  For me?"  She didn't quite understand 
what was going on.  A message? She thought to herself.  
"Why?" she asked.
	"I am a messenger, we are all messengers," he said.
	Susan paused for a moment before she spoke again.  
"Who is we?" she asked.
	He smiled again.  "I think you know."
	She just nodded.  "I thought you were the Announcer, 
Gabriel."
	He nodded.  "Yes, but I already have your attention, 
have I not?"
	She had no answer to that.
	He nodded as if he knew her response.
	"What is your message and who is it from?" 
	Gabe looked around the dense forest.  They were 
standing about two feet apart in the middle of a densely 
covered area.  Rain was falling in huge soaking drops.  
Susan could feel the rain falling, but she didn't feel wet.  
And Gabriel was as dry as if it were a sunny day.
	Susan watched him look about himself wondering what in 
hell, well, she guessed it wasn't hell, was going on.
	He finished his scan of the area and brought his 
attention back to her.  Again, Susan felt warm and loved; 
that was the other sensation.  It was as if she was lying 
by the fire wrapped in Michael's arms, not standing in the 
middle of a wooded area in the northern section of Maine, 
having a conversation with a man she believed was an angel.
	"Susan," he spoke.  "You must begin to do something.  
Something you should have been doing since you were a 
child."
	She frowned at him.
	"You never knew to do it because you had no guidance 
and I regret that.  I know how lonely it was to grow up 
alone and feeling different than everyone else,"  he said.  
This man who looked ten years younger than her gave her a 
look that was as if he was a father talking to his child.
	She licked her lips and took a deep breath.  "What is 
it what I should have been doing?"
	He raised his hands to the air.  "You must listen."
	Susan shook her head in confusion.  "Listen, listen to 
what?"
	Gabe spread his arms out about him in a gesture that 
indicated the woods around him.  "Nature," he stated.  "All 
things have a voice, but you must know how to hear it."
	Susan stared at him, not sure what he meant.
	He dropped his hands and approached her.  He placed 
his palms on her shoulders, holding her close to him.  He 
leaned down and whispered in her ear, "listen."
	Susan looked into the deep pools of blue that were his 
eyes.  Sincerity and honesty stared back at her.  Suddenly, 
she heard it.  She could hear the trees, the sound of 
whispers on the breeze, the mouse on the ground, the owl 
watching it.  She could hear the raccoon in his nest, the 
squirrel above, the moose a mile away, the bear wandering.  
She could hear it all.  It wasn't a sound exactly, but a 
feeling of recognition.  She could hear the deer scanning 
the area looking for threats to her young.  
	She continued to look at him as the murmurs of life 
receded. 
His eyes smiled at her and he stepped back.  "It will 
come to you now that you know how it sounds."
Susan didn't say anything.
"Good luck," he said, his grin widening.  "On this and 
on your current task."
"My current task?" she asked.
"Tell Michael good luck as well."
"I don't understand," she said.
"You will," he said and he was gone.
Susan looked around not understanding what just 
happened.  It was as if he we there and then in a blink he 
was not.
Then the rain stopped and the sun started to rise.
***
Dawn
	Michael and Scully sat quietly on the back porch, her 
head resting comfortably on his shoulder.  She had fallen 
asleep a few minutes ago and he didn't have the heart to 
wake her.
	Michael looked over his shoulder at the sound of the 
back door opening and foot steps on the deck. 
	It was Mulder.  "Hey," he said, eyeing Scully's 
slumped form.
	Michael felt like he was doing something wrong, but he 
wasn't sure what it was.  He could see that Mulder wasn't 
happy to find Scully leaning on him so intimately, but what 
was he to do?  She was tired and needed comfort, so he 
offered his shoulder.  Mulder had to have known that.
	Mulder gave him a self deprecating smile.  "It's OK, 
Mike," he said.  "Relax."
	"How ya feeling?" Michael asked, not relaxing.
	Mulder shrugged and leaned against the railing.  "Like 
shit, what else is new."
	Michael nodded.  "Dana hasn't been asleep for long.  
Do you think I should wake her or put her to bed?"
	Mulder didn't answer.  All he could see was Scully 
being easily lifted in Michael's arms, her head on his 
chest, sound asleep as he carried her to bed.  How 
romantic, he thought.  Too bad it wasn't him.  He couldn't 
imagine lifting his own arms right now, let alone Scully.
	Michael looked up at him.  He had an idea what was 
bothering him.  He purposefully moved his arm to cause 
Scully to slide down.  She woke quickly.
	"What's going on?" she asked in that husky alto Mulder 
loved.
	"Sorry, Dana,"  Michael said.  "I didn't mean to wake 
you."
	She looked at him with a confused expression on her 
face as if she couldn't understand why she fell asleep and 
why he was there when she woke up.  
	"We're on the back porch, remember?  We were watching 
the storm, waiting for Susie to come back."
	Scully blinked her eyes rapidly then nodded.  "Yeah, 
sure I remember," she said.  "When did it stop raining?"
	"About ten minutes ago," he said.
	Mulder coughed as a way to get their attention.  
"Speak of the devil,"  Mulder said, jutting his chin out 
toward the trees.  "Look what the cat dragged in."  His 
voice was a drab monotone, devoid of any emotion.
	All eyes turned to the direction Mulder indicated to 
see a very bedraggled Susan coming toward them.  Her hair 
was a mess around her face, her tank top and shorts 
plastered to her body.  She was barefoot as she walked 
purposefully towards them, her eyes on Michael.  She 
stepped around debris and other wilderness things on the 
ground, never looking down.  It was as if she knew where 
everything was.
	She stopped when her legs bumped against Michael's 
knees.  "Hey," she said, a strange smile on her face.
	"Uh, hey," he said.
	She nodded before she leaned down to cup his face and 
kiss him lightly on the lips.  "What's everyone doing up?" 
she asked, sounding surprisingly cheerful.
Michael and Scully glanced at each other.  "We were, 
ah, watching the storm and waiting for you to come back,"  
Michael said.  "Where were you?"
	She placed her hands on her hips and turned at the 
waist to look around her.  "Taking a walk," she said with a 
smile.
	Michael frowned and was going to say something, but 
she chose that moment to start up the stairs between 
Michael and Scully.
	"Where you going?" Michael asked, turning to look at 
her.  
	She stopped at the door.  "I'm wet and hungry.  I'm 
going to change and grab something to eat."  She paused 
before she continued.  "In that order," she said, going 
inside. 
	Michael stumbled to his feet to follow her, leaving 
Mulder and Scully alone on the porch.  They exchanged 
uneasy glances before Scully went inside.
	Mulder continued to lean against the railing as he 
rested his elbows on the wood and let his head fall into 
his hands.  He scrubbed his palms over his face, wincing, 
before he finger combed his hair out of his eyes.  He had 
to fix this soon or he was going to lose his chance.
	"Susie," Michael said, coming up beside her.  "What 
the hell is going on?"
	She turned to look at him, in the middle of removing 
her shirt, an apple in her mouth.  Their sleeping area was 
in the back of the cabin and she was standing around a 
corner, away from prying eyes.  It wasn't as if anyone 
could see them, anyway.  Ryan was asleep on the couch and 
Scully had gone directly to her bedroom.
	"Huh?" Susan asked around the apple.
	Michael waited until she had pulled off the shirt and 
removed the apple before he spoke again.  "I said, what the 
hell is going on?"
	Susan chuckled, running a towel over her chest before 
she peeled off her soaking wet shorts and underwear, 
letting them drop unnoticed to the floor.  Michael would 
pick them up later.  She ran the towel down her legs, 
bending at the waist then back up again before she 
answered.  "Well, for one thing, it isn't hell," she said 
cryptically.
	He gave her a confused look.  "What?" he asked.
	She pulled a shirt over her head then took a huge bite 
of the apple, watching him watch her.  She put the apple 
down and began brushing her hair.  "I saw him, Mike," she 
stated, still chewing.
	He frowned.  "Who?"
	She grinned.  "Gabe."
	He shook his head.  "What do you mean you saw him. 
He's dead."
	She cocked her head at him.  "Only in the corporeal 
sense," she said with a smirk.
	"What is that supposed to mean?"
	"It means what it means," she said, turning her back 
on him to find a pair of shorts and underwear.
	He watched her.  "OK, you saw him," he conceded.  
"What happened?"
	Susan finished getting dressed then gave him a huge 
smile.  "He taught me how to listen."
***
Later that afternoon.
	Ryan was sitting on the couch after a late morning 
nap.  He had given up the whiskey bottle to just stare at 
the empty fireplace.  He looked as bad as Mulder felt.  It 
didn't help that Susan and Michael were acting like two 
teenagers in love; not leaving each other alone for a 
minute.  Currently, they were lying in bed with Susan 
draped over Michael's chest while he read.  Susan would 
murmur to him as he read silently to himself and run her 
hand over his chest.  It was hotter than hell out since the 
rain stopped. The blaring sun brought out the light and 
heat.  Susan was wearing a bikini top and the shortest 
shorts Mulder had ever seen.  He could understand the need 
for such little clothing, he was sweating like a pig, but 
he refused to remove his shirt.  Scully was sitting 
silently out on the back porch reading as well.  Mulder 
wished he could just relax and read, but he couldn't turn 
his brain off enough to concentrate on the written word.  
He wondered aimlessly around the cabin before he found 
himself at the foot of Michael and Susan's bed.  Her hand 
had strayed from his chest to the muscles of his abdomen 
while one of his hands was just above her ass.
	He cleared his throat and Michael looked up at him 
over his book.  Susan's hand stilled, but she didn't turn 
her head to look at him.  "What're you doing?" Mulder 
asked, lamely.
	Susan rolled to look at him.  "What's the matter, 
Mulder, bored?"
	He shrugged.
	"Why don't you find something to read?" Michael 
suggested.
	He shrugged again.  "Don't want to," he said.  "Why 
aren't you reading something?" he asked Susan.
	She smiled.  "I am."
	Mulder frowned.
	Michael marked the page in his book, letting it drop 
to his chest.
	Susan sighed.  "When a person reads, if the story is 
any good, they get mental pictures, right?"
	Mulder nodded, taking a seat at the end of the bed.  
Michael and Susan moved their feet to avoid being squished.
	"Well, Mike's reading and I'm reading him.  It's 
really a lot of fun," she added.
	Mulder furrowed his brows.  "Let me get this straight.  
Michael's reading, and you're reading the mental pictures 
he's getting."  
	Susan nodded.
	"That's pretty cool."
	"It is," Michael said.  "We've only recently 
discovered that we could do it."
	"And," Susan said.  "It's better if it's a book one of 
us have already read.  Everyone gets a different 
perspective of what they're reading, it looks different 
than how you would see it.  So, I get to see his 
prospective."
	Mulder nodded, understanding.  "What are you reading?"
	"Exit to Eden," Michael said.
	"Scully read that," Mulder said.
	Susan nodded.  "Yeah, I know she's the one who 
recommended it to me."
	"What's it about?" 
	Susan licked her lips.  "Why don't you ask Dana?"
	Mulder frowned.  "Why?"
	"You might learn some things about her."
	He started to stand.  "Ah, OK."  He had an idea now of 
what the book was about.  There had to be sex or something 
in it.  That was probably why Susan and Michael were so, 
what's the word? Cuddly while they were reading.
	Susan sat up, pulling Michael with her.  "Want go for 
a swim?" she asked Michael, with a tilt of her head, her 
hand still holding his.
	A slow smile crossed his face.  "I would be interested 
in a... swim, about now."
	Mulder rolled his eyes and walked away.  "God, it's 
like they're in heat," he said to himself.  He turned 
suddenly when Susan let out a peal of laughter.  Michael 
had picked her up and was carrying her out of the cabin 
over his shoulder.  She wasn't really putting up a fight, 
she was laughing too hard.
	Ryan got up from his stupor on the couch, watching 
them leave.  "Guess I won't be going swimming for awhile," 
he said, shaking his head with disdain.  "I'm going for a 
walk," he said going out the back door.
	Scully jumped when the door slammed shut behind him, 
watching him stomp down the stairs.
	Mulder suddenly felt very alone.  He envied Michael 
and Susan's easy relationship.  They were so, he couldn't 
quiet find the word, right for each other.  He wished he 
and Scully could be like that together.  He sighed and ran 
a hand through his hair.
	"Where did everyone go?"  Scully asked, putting her 
book down on the table next to the couch.
Mulder turned to her, surprised to hear her voice.  
"They, ah," he stammered.  "Ryan went for a walk and 
Michael and Susan went for a swim."
	Scully nodded.  "A swim sounds good about now," she 
said before she started towards her room to change.
	Mulder's eyes widened.  "Ah, Scully, I don't think 
that's such a good idea," he said.
	She turned around, frowning.  "Why?"
	Mulder fidgeted.  "Um, I'm sure they'd pick a secluded 
place, but...," he trailed off.
	Scully's mouth formed an O.
	"I mean, God, what's going on with them?" he asked.  
"They're practically all over each other."
	Scully chewed on her bottom lip.  Should she say this?  
Should she open the door?  "Um, Michael and Susan are, um, 
trying to, they've decided that they want..."  She stopped.
	"Want what?" Mulder asked.
	Scully blurted it out.  "They want to have a baby."
	Mulder didn't move.  "Oh," was all he said.
	They both stood there looking more than a little 
uncomfortable.
	"That's good, good for them," he said.
	Scully nodded.  "Yeah."
	They were quiet again.
	"Mulder."
	"Scully."
	They smiled.  	
	"Go ahead," Scully said.
	Mulder shook his head.  "No, you go, what were you 
going to say?"
	Scully leaned back against the arm of the couch, 
her arms over her chest.  "What do you want?" she asked, 
surprised she had the courage to say it.
Mulder looked down at the wooden floor before he 
brought his eyes to her's "I have everything I want right 
in front of me."
Part 28

	Scully gave him a sad smile.  "Mulder."
	Mulder shook his head.  "No, Scully, let me say this, 
please."  He nearly begged, knowing that if he didn't say 
it now he wasn't going to say it at all.
	Scully took a deep breath and nodded.
	He stared at her for a moment before he looked down at 
the floor, running a hand though his shaggy hair. He was 
losing his nerve fast. "I know I've been distant," he 
started.  "And I know I've been giving you mixed signals.  
But, I'm not sure what's going on with me, I'm not used to 
this."
	"What, Mulder?  What's going on inside that head of 
yours?"
	He looked down at the floor, again.  "I feel like I'm 
not myself right now.  Nothing is as it was.  Physically, I 
can't rely on myself, emotionally." he trailed off giving 
her a wry grin.  "Well, emotionally, I was always a little 
off."
	She returned his smile.
	He turned around, unsure of himself, speaking with his 
back to her.  "My world has been turned upside down and I 
feel like I'm just hanging on for dear life."  He faced her 
again.  "The psychologist in me is telling me that I need 
stability right now, but I can't have it.  We're hiding out 
in the middle of nowhere in a place I'm not familiar with.  
My ex-girlfriend and my current girlfriend."  He looked up 
at her to see her reaction to the `g word', but she only 
nodded for him to continue, so he looked back at the floor.  
"The two woman who I have cared the most for are the best 
of friends.  There's a man here who could break me in half 
if he wanted to, but he'd rather have sex with my ex-
girlfriend and it bothers me that it doesn't bother me."  
He looked up at her to see if she understood, and he had 
the feeling she did.  "My partner, who I can count the 
number of times I made love to on one hand is about three 
months pregnant with my child, which she wasn't supposed to 
have.  And if I allow my mind to relax, I am reminded of 
the hell I went through while my partner, my ex-girlfriend 
and her finance searched for me."  He looked toward the 
lake.  "Hell, I don't even have to let my mind relax, all I 
have to do is breath and my mind flashes back."
	"Mulder," Scully sighed, taking a step toward him.
	A tear slipped down his cheek as he turned his head to 
look back at her.  "I'm sorry to lay all this on you, but 
I'm not sure what to do.  I feel like I'm going insane.  I 
don't want to do this to you, but I have no one else, I 
don't want anyone else, Scully."
	Scully's eye's welled up with tears.  "Mulder, you 
will always have me - have always had me."  She reached out 
tentatively to take his hands.  He let her hold them, but 
made no effort to wrap his fingers around hers. "I want you 
to talk to me.  I need you to."  Her eyes took on a 
pleading look.  "We work best together, let me help you."
	He looked at her, his lips trembling.  "This should be 
a happy time for you.  You shouldn't have to worry about 
me."
	Tears fell unnoticed down her face.  "Mulder, I am 
happy."
	He gave her a look that conveyed his confusion.  `How 
the hell can you be happy?' it asked.
	She smiled weakly.  "Mulder, think about it.  It's 
like you said.  I'm pregnant with a baby I shouldn't be 
able to have.  I know it's fine and I have no doubts about 
it's father is.  It's a man I love so much it scares me and 
I no longer fear I will never see him again.  He's standing 
right in front of me."
	He swallowed.
	She shook his hands for emphasis.  "I know what you're 
going through, I've been there myself.  Your wounds will 
heal, the ones no one can see just take a little longer and 
you will be stronger because of it, we both will."
	"Scully," he croaked.  "I don't know if I can do 
this."
	She gave him a smile that showed her strength and 
determination.  "You can, Mulder.  You can, just let me 
help you."
	Large, fat tears rolled down his face.  Scully barley 
saw him nod before he fell to his knees, his hands still 
clutched in hers.  A heartbreaking sob escaped his lips as 
all the control he was struggling to hold slipped.  Scully 
followed him to the floor and took him in her arms, holding 
his head to her chest.  She whispered senseless words to 
him while she rocked him, wishing she could take his pain 
and fight his demons for him, but she knew this was one 
battle he had to fight for himself, she could only provide 
backup.
After a little while, Scully pulled back to look at 
his face and wiped tears away from his cheeks.  "Why don't 
you go lay down?" she murmured to him.
	He bit his lip.  "I don't want to," he pouted.
	She smiled at him.  "OK, Mulder.  We don't have to 
anything you don't want to do."
	He looked at her to see if she was making fun of him, 
but her face only showed her sincerity.
	She tilted her head to the side.  "Do you want to lie 
on the couch?  I could read to you if you want.  I'll make 
something for you to eat."
	Mulder studied her.  This was a side to Scully he 
hadn't seen in a long time, the doctor/mother Scully that 
loved to take care of him.  He rarely allowed her, but he 
needed this so much right now.  "Yeah," he said, a small 
smile forming.  "Yeah, I could use that right now."
	Her eyes lit up.  "Which part?" she asked as she 
helped him stand, still holding his hands.
	"All of it."
	She grinned.  "OK, just lie down and I'll be right 
back."
	Mulder sat down on the couch and watched Scully head 
into the kitchen.  There was no wall separating it from the 
living room, so he had an unobstructed view of her.  He 
shook his head and looked down at the floor.  What did he 
ever do to deserve this woman?
	In less time then he expected, Scully returned with 
two cups of tea brewed from the water Michael pumped 
earlier and a bowl of Dinty Moore Beef Stew balanced 
between the cups.  "There's no milk," she said 
apologetically.  "I know how much you hate the powered 
kind, but it's all we have."
	He shrugged.  "It's fine," he said taking the cup from 
her.  "Thank you."
She smiled at him, placed the bowl on the table and 
sat down next to him, watching him sip from the cup.
He noticed her scrutiny and lowered the cup.  "You 
going to watch me eat?" he asked, a bit more harshly than 
he intended.  He felt like shit when she flinched.
"Sorry," she said, looking away.
Mulder cursed under his breath as he put the mug down.  
What an ass he was.  "Scully," he said, turning towards 
her.  "Hey."  He placed a hand on her arm.
She turned to look at him, giving him a smile he knew 
was forced.
"I'm sorry.  I know I'm acting like a bear with a 
wounded paw."
Scully waved a hand in the air.  "It's all right, I 
understand."
Mulder shook his head.  "No, I'm sorry I spoke to you 
like that."  He sat back, his body turned to face her.  
"Here you are doing everything you can to make me feel 
better and I nearly bite your head off."
Scully nodded, accepting his apology.
He stared at her, making her feel uncomfortable.  The 
look in his eyes caused a blush to rise up her chest, to 
her neck and cheeks.  One would label the look as 
smoldering.
"Don't start anything you can't finish, Mulder," she 
said.  God, when did her voice get so deep?
Mulder grinned.  "Man are you in trouble when I can."
Scully didn't know her face could get any hotter.
He continued to stare at her until he had her 
squirming in her seat.  
"Mulder, stop."
His grinned widened.  "What?"
Scully shook her head.  "Eat, before it gets cold."
He narrowed his eyes.  "You know, if I was feeling 
stronger, I'd have a come back for that."
She lightly smacked his arm.
He chuckled and picked up the bowl.  His nose wrinkled 
at the sight of the brown mush.  "What is this?"
"Stew," she said, her voice sounding almost normal.
His lips pulled back revealing his distaste.  "Are you 
sure?  It looks like dog food.  Maybe Ruffus would like it.  
As a matter of fact, where is that dog?"
Scully sighed, handing him a spoon.  "Susan and 
Michael let him out earlier, he wanted to explore, Susan 
said.  And yes, I'm sure it's stew and not dog food."
Mulder took the spoon and loaded it up with stew.  "If 
you say so," he said, giving her a sidelong glance.  "After 
all, I trust you."
Scully smiled.  "I trust you, too," she said in a 
whisper.
Mulder grinned, then started shoving the food in.  
Even though his body felt like crap, his appetite wasn't 
hindered at all.  Scully felt some relief at that.
When he was finished, Mulder put the empty bowl on the 
table.  "For dog food, that was pretty good."
Scully raised an eyebrow at him.  "I was wondering 
when you were going lick the bowl."
"If I wasn't in such good company, I would have."
She shook her head, picked up the bowl and headed into 
the kitchen.  "You said Susan and Michael were spending 
some quality time in the lake?" Scully asked on her way 
back.
Mulder nodded.  "Yeah, but after you told me why they 
were acting the way they were, I'm a little confused."
"Why?"  Scully asked sitting down next to him.
He shrugged.  "I read once that water isn't the best 
of places to try to conceive."
Scully looked at him.  "Do I want to know where and 
when you read this?"
He looked uncomfortable.
"Mulder?"
He took a sip of his tea before he answered.  "It was 
after Emily."
Scully frowned. She hadn't expected that.
"You know I kinda already knew about your not being 
able to have children, but I never knew how you felt about 
that."
Scully turned to face him.
"When I saw how attached you were to Emily and how 
much it bothered you that you couldn't conceive, I started 
looking into things."
"Why?"
Mulder drained the rest of his drink and placed the 
cup on the table before he turned to face her.  "I."  He 
looked down at his hands.  "If it wasn't for me, you 
wouldn't have been in that situation.  If it wasn't for me, 
you would have been able to have children."
She gave him a sad smile.  "This is all a bit moot, 
now, isn't it?" she asked, rubbing her tummy.
Mulder watched her hand move across her belly.  "Yeah, 
I guess all that guilt and self loathing was kinda wasted, 
wasn't it?"
"And, Mulder it wasn't your fault," she said, reaching 
out to take his hand.
He let out a huff.  "Well, it wasn't as if I didn't 
have enough guilt and stuff to spare."
Scully shook her head.  She knew this was a losing 
battle and shouldn't waste the energy, so she didn't even 
attempt it.
"Anyway," Mulder said, changing the subject.  "That 
was why I was looking into it."
"Emily," Scully croaked out.
He looked at her sharply, afraid he may have upset her 
with the mention of her lost daughter, but it didn't seem 
that way.  Scully had long since resigned herself to the 
loss of what she thought was going to be her only child.
"What did you look into?"
He paused before he answered.  "IVF, donor eggs, 
adoption."
Scully's brow knitted together.  "Mulder, you were 
there when they turned down my attempt to adopt Emily, what 
made you think it would be different at a later time?"
Mulder suddenly looked as if he wanted to be any place 
other than were he was.
"Mulder?" he prompted.
"It wasn't for you, it was for me."
She didn't understand.
"I was looking into adopting a child for me, for you."
She still didn't get it and her face showed that fact.
"I was looking to see if it was plausible for me to 
adopt a child.  I thought it would be a way for you to have 
a child, if we ever got closer."
"Closer," Scully said softly.  "How close?"
He shrugged.  "I guess kind of like where we are now, 
but on a more permanent basis."
"Are we talking about what I think we're talking 
about?" Scully asked, breathlessly.
He shrugged again.
"And you were thinking about this back then?"
He didn't really nod, just moved his head a little.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
Again, he shrugged.
Scully shook her head.  When had this intelligent man 
lost his ability to speak?  "Mulder."
"It doesn't matter, Scully.  My odds of being able to 
adopt, I discovered, were worse than yours."  He settled 
himself further into the cushions of the couch, his 
strength was starting to leave him as were the effects of 
the pain medication he had taken.
"It does matter, Mulder," Scully said.  "You  took it 
upon yourself to do something like that. You should have 
said something to me."
Mulder looked away.  "I guess you're right."
"And about the other thing," she said, turning her 
body so it faced his.
"Yeah," he said with apprehension, but Scully could 
see the interest in his eyes.
"Why didn't you ever say anything about that?"
"Because it never seemed like the right time," he 
said, reaching a hand out to stroke her hair.  "Just as I 
was starting to think about it again, I was off to Oregon."
Scully winced at the memory, but didn't let it ruin 
the mood.  "Is that why you said what you said when you 
left your apartment that night?"
A slow smile formed on his lips.  "And what did I say 
that night?"
Scully leaned closer to him, her breath hot on his 
face.  "First, you told me you loved me."
Mulder cupped her jaw and saw her eyes close.  "God, 
do I ever."
"I know you do," she whispered.  "And I love you."
Mulder leaned in to kiss her, but she moved away, not 
letting him.  She wasn't finished.
"Then, you said something else, do you remember?"
He bumped her nose with his then drew his lips across 
her jaw.  She could hear him breathe in deeply.  God, when 
he was strong enough to finish things, both of them were in 
trouble.  "Yeah, I remember," he rasped in her ear.  "I 
told you I loved you."  He moved his lips along the shell 
of her ear.  He could feel her starting to tremble.  "And 
said that was the last time I was leaving you, ever."
"And," she said in a broken voice.  "Do you remember 
what I said?"
Mulder pulled back so he could see her face.  She 
slowly opened her eyes and he could see that her pupils 
were dilated and she breathing rapidly.  He imagined the 
same was true about him, but all he could feel was her.  
She had unconsciously moved closer to him and was pressing 
her body against his.  The wounds on his chest were 
protesting, but it was as if Scully was a painkiller 
herself, because he felt none of it.
"You told me you'd always be with me, even if you 
weren't there and I'd always be with you," he said in a 
soft voice.
She slowly blinked.  "And little did I know I had a 
part of you with me already," her voice broke on the last 
word.
"Scully," he breathed, drawing her to him.
Their lips met tentatively at first, but soon turned 
into the familiar kisses they shared before life forever 
changed for them.  Their embrace was one of remembrance, 
hoping to capture the few moments of security they found in 
each other ever so briefly.  It also spoke of things to 
come. 
***
The day passed with relative quiet.  Ryan was nowhere 
to be seen and Michael and Susan had stayed away from the 
cabin until late afternoon.  Mulder wondered if it had more 
to do with the exchange he and Scully shared rather than 
their current task of behaving like rabbits in heat.  He 
shared his observations with Scully, but she just chuckled 
and continued to run her hand through his hair.  He was 
lying on the couch with his head in her lap as she read to 
him.  If anyone asked, he'd have no idea what she was 
reading or what it was about.  He wasn't really listening 
to the words, but to the cadence of her voice.  He wasn't 
sure if it was a complement or not, but she could lull him 
into a light sleep by reading anything.  She could be 
dictating notes on an autopsy and he'd start to get sleepy.  
She thought he didn't observe her autopsies because she 
thought they made him queasy.  After almost falling off 
those metal stools three times in a row because he was 
nodding off, he stopped coming.
	"Mulder?" Scully asked.
	The only reason he heard her was because she stopped 
stroking his hair. 
	"Hmm?" he asked, slowly opening his eyes.
	"I asked if you were hungry," she said, smiling down 
at him.
	Now that he thought about it, he was a little hungry.  
"A little," he said.
Scully craned her neck to look behind her.  "Yeah," 
she said.  "We both could use something."
	Mulder heard Susan answer her.  "All right.  I'll heat 
something up for the mean time."  Then he heard her 
footsteps head outside.
	"Mike," Susan called.
	He turned around, a shotgun resting against his 
shoulder.  
"Be careful, all right?" 
"Always," he said with a smile and trotted off into 
the woods.
Susan watched him go with trepidation.  She should be 
the one to go hunting, she'd be able to sense the animals, 
but she couldn't bring herself to it.  She couldn't even 
accompany him.  She wasn't against hunting, as long as it 
was for food, not for sport and definitely not to hang a 
head on the wall, but she couldn't bring herself to kill an 
animal.  She'd be able to sense it's fear, it's life force 
leave and it would be her undoing.  She assumed that if she 
was starving she'd be able to.  You never know what you'd 
be capable of if pushed into it.  Just like she never 
thought she'd be able to kill a human being, but she'd done 
it on more occasions than she'd like to remember.  She'd 
even killed someone with her mind.
She shuddered suddenly and pushed the memories out of 
her mind.  She reminded herself she'd only done that once 
and it was out of self preservation.  She doubted she'd be 
able to do it again.  It was more intimate than driving a 
knife into someone's chest because instead it going into 
his body, it was going into his mind.  Then, her thoughts 
wandered to the small lead object she was carrying in her 
pocket. 
A sneer formed.  Then again..
***
	It rained off and on for the next few days.  By the 
third day, everyone was getting a dose of cabin fever.  If 
one more person got in the way of another, Mulder was sure 
it would come to blows.  Ryan and Michael were the worst.  
Ryan reminded Mulder of Scully's brother Bill.  He never 
really said what he was feeling outright, except for a word 
here and there, but you could see his disdain on his face.  
What he didn't like was a mystery to Mulder.  He just 
seemed genuinely unhappy about everything, but he didn't 
stay quiet about his feelings when it came to Michael.  If 
they didn't look so alike, Mulder would have wondered if 
they were really related, they were so different.  
	Then, Mulder walked into a heated argument between 
Michael and his brother.  He wondered if he would have the 
strength to break them apart if it came to that.  He 
doubted he could even if he was at his prime.  It would be 
like getting between two Rotweilers with rabies.  He stayed 
within shouting distance of the men, thinking that he could 
shout out to Susan, where ever the hell she was.  He knew 
she'd be able to stop it if need be.
	"I don't give a *FUCK* what you think," Michael spat.  
	"I just want to know when you became such a pussy," 
Ryan returned.  
	Mulder could hear the slur in his voice and knew Ryan 
had been drinking.
	"Just because you did it doesn't mean I have to."
	Ryan let out a huff.  "Jesus, Mike, she wanted you so 
badly."
	"Good for her," he said.  Mulder heard a thump and 
wondered if he threw something at Ryan.
	"She could barely keep her legs closed when she was 
you.  Susan would never had known."
	Mulder shook his head.  Susan would have known right 
away.
	"I would never do that to Susan."
	The smirk could be heard in Ryan's voice.  "Yeah, 
that's right, you love her."
	Michael didn't respond.
	"It's not like you hadn't done it before, before 
Susan."
	Mulder blinked and nearly jumped out of his skin when 
a hand landed on his shoulder.
	"What are you doing?"  It was Scully.
	"Shhh," he said putting a finger to his lips.
	She frowned her disapproval at him but didn't move.
	"Yeah, well.  I'm never doing something like that 
again.  That's not who I am anymore."
	Scully gave a questioning glance to Mulder.  He just 
shook his head.
	"So, what?  You meet Susan and you turn over a new 
leaf?"
	"Something like," he mumbled.
	Ryan chuckled.  "She that good a lay?"
	Mulder and Scully jumped when they heard a crash and a 
shout.  Scully started to go into the room, but Mulder 
stopped her.  "I don't think that's a good idea, Scully."
	Scully looked at him.
	"It's not as if you could stop them, anyway.  Besides, 
I think Ryan had it coming."
	Michael moved with a swiftness of someone half his 
size.  He had Ryan pinned against the wall with his forearm 
pressed into his throat. Ryan's arm was twisted in an 
extremely uncomfortable position behind him.
"Now you listen to me, you drunk bastard." he growled, 
his Boston accent reasserting itself.  
	Ryan gurgled a response.  Michael was quickly cutting 
of his air supply.
	"Just because you fucked up your marriage and your 
relationship with Molly does not mean you have the right to 
fuck with my life!  Do you understand me?"  A few pieces of 
spittle landed on Ryan's cheek.  His eyes were bulging out 
of his red face.  Where did the little brother he used to 
pick on incessantly, go?  The man before him looked as if 
he had no qualms about applying just a little more pressure 
on his throat to kill him.
	"And if I ever hear you say anything like that about 
Susan again, I won't hesitate to kill you.  I'll bury your 
body in a place where no one would find you and think 
nothing about it, you got that?"
	Ryan blinked, he'd nod, but he couldn't move his head.
Michael pushed harder against his brother, then 
released him, letting him slide bonelessly to the floor.
	Ryan dropped to the floor coughing and rubbing his 
neck.  Michael stood over him.
	"You really are pathetic, you know that?  You have a 
wife and children that love you and you do nothing but fuck 
it up.  If I were Molly I wouldn't take you back this 
time."
	He wouldn't look at him.
	Michael kicked Ryan's foot before he left the room.  
Mulder and Scully scattered as he approached them.  If he 
knew they had overheard, he didn't show it.  He just 
stormed off out into the rain.
	They turned to see Susan on the other side of the 
cabin, her back to them, standing like a statue.  Her arms 
were crossed over her chest.  She made no effort to 
acknowledge their presence.
	Mulder and Scully looked at each other and silently 
agreed to leave Susan alone.  Without a word they went into 
their room, closing the door behind them.
	Susan continued to stare out the window watching 
Michael cut wood in the rain.  He knew she could see him 
but didn't seem to care.  Susan would leave him to himself 
for the time being.  They had spoken of his past one 
evening and she knew he wasn't proud of it.  Ryan knew it 
was a sore spot, too, and said it just to egg him into an 
argument and it had worked.  Now, Michael would beat 
himself up about it all over again and be pissed at himself 
for losing his temper.  
	Susan looked up at the gray skies and sighed.  The 
rain had finally stopped.
***
	Mulder couldn't sleep.  He was too hot, but when he 
tossed off the sheet, he was too cold.  In the light 
streaming in from the windows, he could see Scully sleeping 
peacefully next to him, her hair spilled out on the pillow 
under her; her arm slung over his chest.  He smiled in 
spite himself.  As shitty as he was feeling, he'd never 
felt better.
	He slowly got up, knowing that if he stayed any longer 
he'd wake her up and she needed her sleep.
	He padded noiselessly across the room and closed the 
door behind him.  In the darkness, he could see Michael and 
Susan's bed, but he couldn't make out who was what.  All he 
saw was a big lump.  He thought it was interesting that 
when he and Susan slept together, they would fall asleep in 
each other's embrace, but wake up apart.  He thought it was 
because she was like a portable furnace and she made him 
too hot during the night, but so was Scully and he didn't 
move away from her.  The nights he shared with her, he 
always woke up wrapped around her.  He wondered if it was 
Susan who moved away from him.  
Pondering this, he made his way outside into the warm 
night.  The stars shined like millions of holes poked into 
sky.  Without the light from any cities and the event of a 
new moon, he could see every star in the night sky.  He 
scanned the area and saw a figure on the dock.  He squinted 
his eyes; it was Susan.  He frowned.  What was she doing 
out alone?
	Susan didn't move when he approached and sat down next 
to her.  He flung his legs over the side, dunking his feet 
into the water, mimicking her.
	"What are you doing out here?" his voice sounded loud 
to his own ears.
	He could hear her breath in.  "Listening," she stated 
in a low voice.
	"To what?" he said in the same voice.
	She shrugged.  
	"Why so quiet?" he murmured.
	She turned to look at him, the night casting shadows 
across her face.  Mulder had forgotten how beautiful she 
was.  
She gave him a small smile.  "'Cause."
	He nodded.  "All right."
	She looked away.  "You know," she whispered.  "Gabriel 
said that if my mother hadn't died, I would have known how 
to do this sooner."  She snorted. "I thought I was over 
wishing for her."
	"I don't think you ever get over something like that," 
Mulder said.
	"You're probably right."
	Mulder laughed and Susan gave him a questioning look.  
	"What?"
	"I think that was the first time I ever heard you say 
that."
	Susan grinned.  "Well, don't get used to it, buddy."
	Mulder leaned back on his hands.  Susan didn't miss 
him wince, but didn't say anything.
	"So, what exactly is it that you do?"
	Susan turned, bringing one leg up under her.  She 
didn't seem to care that she just got her rear wet.  "What, 
listening?"
	"Yeah."
	Susan seemed to think this over for a minute before 
she answered him.  "If you believe some religions, 
everything has a life force, the trees, the grass, the 
animals..."
	He sat up.  "And you can hear this force?"
	She nodded slowly.  "In a simplistic explanation 
that's exactly what I'm doing."
	"And you can turn this off and on whenever you want?"
	"It seems so."
	"That's really cool."
	Susan snorted.  "As long as I can control the volume, 
it is pretty cool."
	"And if you can't?"
	"It's like a million voices talking at once."
	Mulder made a face, he knew what that was like.  "So, 
you keep it low."
	She nodded.
	He turned to face her.  "Can you show me?"
	He saw something pass over her features before she 
looked away.  "Susan?"
	She licked her lips.  "I, ah," she stammered before 
she looked back at him.  "I'm sorry, but I can't."
	Mulder frowned.  "Why?"
	"I just can't"
	He felt dejected.  "Can't or won't?"
	Susan fell back so that her body was resting on the 
deck and she had an panoramic view of the stars.  "I'm 
sorry, Mulder."
	Mulder laid down next to her, propping his head on his 
hand.  "Why?"
	Susan mirrored his action so they were lying facing 
each other.  "I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore.  
I'll show you your baby, but I won't show you what I feel 
or see."
	Mulder still didn't understand.  "Why?  Why now?"
	Susan sighed.  "Because I thought about it and decided 
I wasn't going to do that with anyone other than Michael.  
It's too much."
	Mulder didn't respond.
	"Think about it, Mulder.  It's more intimate than sex.  
When we made love, I allowed you into my body and we no 
longer do that.  We've made commitments to others.  If I 
let you into my mind, to me, that's more intimate than 
letting you into my body.  I would be betraying Michael 
more than if we had sex."
	"But, we've done it before."  He still didn't 
understand.
	"I know and now that I thought about it, I don't think 
I should have."
	"Did Michael say anything?"
	Susan smiled.  "No, and no, it didn't bother him.  He 
knew that you were my first, so to speak, and at the time 
neither of us saw it that way."
	"But now you both do."
	"Me more so than him."
	Mulder nodded.  "I think I understand."
	"You know, one thing though," she said, thoughtfully. 
"I don't think it would bother him if I did it with Dana."
	Mulder smiled wolfishly.
	Susan smacked him with her free hand.  "And not for 
that reason, you pig.  It's because she's a woman.  What is 
it with men?"
	His smile remained when he answered.  "You said it, 
we're pigs."
	Susan chuckled.  "At least you admit it."
	Mulder joined in on her laughter.  
	Just after midnight, he left Susan to ponder the stars 
and returned to Scully who hadn't moved an inch while he 
was gone.  He looked down at the woman before him and no 
longer cared to wonder what would have happened if Susan 
hadn't been transferred so many years ago.  It was like she 
said that night that felt like another life; what if all 
things led up to this moment, to the two of them together.  
For the first time in his life he finally felt like he was 
were he was supposed to be.

***
	Michael watched Mulder make his way back into his 
room.  He waited until the door closed before he got up.  
He shrugged on a shirt, buttoning it as walked toward the 
door.  When he opened it, he saw Susan still lying out on 
the dock.  He slowly approached her.
	She rolled over and looked up at him, but made no 
other moves.
	Michael spread himself out next to her.  "Whatcha 
doing?"
	"It seems strange men like to visit me at night," she 
said in a light voice.
	He smiled.  "Yeah?"
	"Yeah."
	"So," he said, inching towards her.  "What were you 
two doing out here, in the dark, all alone."
	Susan raised an eyebrow.  "Talking."
	Michael nodded, as if he already knew that.  "You 
weren't doing anything else?" he said in a playful manner.
	Susan picked this up and smiled.  "Noooo."
	He nodded again.  "You mean, you weren't doing this?"   
He leaned in to kiss her throat.
	"No," she said moving her head to give him better 
access.
He reached out to cup her breast, his thumb tracing 
over her nipple.  "Or this?"
	"No," she sighed.
	"Too bad," he said, just before he kissed her.  "It 
seems like fun."
	Susan leaned back, bringing him with her as she 
wrapped her hands around him.  One was buried in his hair 
while the other ran up and down his back.  
	Michael slid his hand down her side to cup her breast 
again.  If he had to pick his favorite parts of her body, 
her breasts were high up on the list.  
	He felt her hands move from around him and start to 
push on his chest.  He pulled away, a look of confusion on 
his face.
She didn't say anything, but the mischievous smile on 
her lips explained more than words could ever.  
	He allowed her to push him onto his back.  She 
straddled his hips causing both of them to groan.  
	Susan leaned over him as she attacked his mouth, 
releasing him only after lack of oxygen became a factor.  
Slowly, with a maddening pace, she kissed her way down his 
face to his jaw and down his neck.  As she did this, she 
methodically unbuttoned his shirt.
	Michael allowed her to set the pace, knowing for some 
reason, she wanted to be in control tonight.  His hands 
didn't remain idle, though, and more than once, she had to 
push them away to continue her task of undressing him.
	Once all the buttons were undone, she spread her hands 
out on his chest and moved the fabric aside, but she didn't 
attempt to rid him of it.  She leaned down to take his 
small nipple in her mouth, her tongue circling around it.
	Michael bit back a groan, his hands squeezing her 
hips.
	Susan gave the other nipple the same attention before 
she sat up and pulled her shirt over her head.  Michael 
looked up at her in awe.  Millions of stars surrounded her 
giving her an ethereal look.  He trailed a hand up her body 
to her neck, with a slight tug, he pulled her crashing down 
on him, his mouth colliding with hers.  While they 
worshipped each other's mouths, her hands traveled down his 
body, her intent clear.
Under the night sky, she made love to him.
***
Daybreak, The next morning.

	Susan sat down on the front step, dropping her bare 
feet into the wet, dewy grass.  The cabin was silent behind 
her and she couldn't seem to stop smiling.
	Ruffus sat down next to her, and she ruffled his fur.  
He licked her in response.
	Last night had been something more than Susan could 
ever have imagined.  She felt at peace, something she 
hadn't felt in a really long time.  Other than the sour 
feelings coming off of Ryan, every one was in high spirits.  
Mulder and Dana were back on course, whatever course that 
was and she and Michael were united in a purpose so 
wonderful whenever she thought about it, it made her breath 
catch.  God, they were making a baby.
	She grinned at the thought.  They were going to be a 
Mommy and a Daddy.  It was strange how such a normal, 
instinctual event could make her feel so, so.  She couldn't 
even name it.  Now, she understood why Dana felt the way 
she did.  And Susan didn't have a problem conceiving.
	She leaned back on her hands, looking out as the sun 
started to rise over the lake.  It was a beautiful sight.  
Maybe she should wake Michael so he could share it with 
her.  She started to get up when she noticed something.  
The woods around them were quiet.  A deer appeared at the 
tree break and she zeroed in on it.  She felt it's fear and 
quickening of it's heartbeat.  Besides her, Ruffus wined.
	Susan felt her heart start to race.
	Someone was coming.
Part 29
        Susan bounded up the stairs, tripping in her haste.  
She fell hard on her knee and threw her hand out to balance 
herself.  She sprang up, ignoring the pain and threw the 
door open.
        "GET UP!" she shouted in the quiet room.
        Michael sat up in bed, his hair pointing out in 
different directions.  "What's going on?"
        Susan threw his boxer shorts at him as she ran 
across the floor to Mulder and Scully's room.  
"SOMEONE'S HERE!"
        Michael sprang into action, hoping on one leg as he 
dressed.  "Who's here?"
        Susan ignored him as she opened Mulder and Scully's 
door, slamming it against the wall.  The agents startled 
awake, Mulder crying out in pain as he sat up.  
        "GET UP! WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!!" Susan 
yelled.
        Scully scrambled out of bed and pulled on the 
shorts laying on the dresser.  "What's the matter?" she 
asked.
        Mulder was getting dressed, albeit much more 
slowly.
        "We have company!" she said, leaving the room.
       Mulder and Scully exchanged looks before they 
followed her out of the room.
        Ryan was standing next to Michael, a sleepy 
expression on his face.  "Whazz goin' on?" he asked, 
rubbing his eyes.
        "Someone's coming," she stated.
        "Who?" he asked.
        Susan shook her head.  "Michael, go down into the 
cellar, get whatever you think we'll need."
        He gave her a curt nod before he followed her 
orders and took off outside toward the cellar doors.
        "What's in the cellar?" Scully asked while she sat 
on the sofa putting on her shoes.
        "Weapons, any kind you can imagine."
       Scully gave her a surprised look.
       Susan shrugged  "Told you this was supposed to be in 
case of invasion."
        Ryan stepped forward.  "Invasion by whom?"
        Mulder stood next to Scully.  "Not who, what."
        "What?"
        Mulder turned to Susan.  "How much time do we 
have?"
        Susan shook her head.  "I don't know, I can't sense 
them."
        Scully rose from her seated position.  "Then how do 
you know they're coming?"
        "A deer told me."
        Mulder and Scully just looked a her.
        "Will someone please tell me what's going on?"
        Susan looked at him.  "There's no time.  All you 
need to know is that there are people after us and they're 
not the prize patrol."
        "What do they want?"
        "Me,"  Mulder and Susan said.
        They stared at each other.
        "I'm going to go see what's holding up Mike," Ryan 
said.
        "There's no need," a voice said from the doorway.
        The group turned to see a man dressed in camouflage 
commando gear holding a very large weapon.  He turned to 
allow another man pass him and into the cabin.  He was 
dragging Michael along with him.
        The soldier held Michael in front of him, with a 
pistol jammed against his forehead.  Michael was bleeding 
profusely from his nose.  His left eye was already swelling 
shut and there was a nasty cut on his temple.  The soldier 
was also bleeding from his nose, but his looked broken.
        "Nobody move or the pretty boy gets it," he said in 
a nasally baritone.
        Susan held her breath.
        Another man entered through the front door and 
closed it behind him.  
        All the newcomers were armed with automatic rifles 
and handguns.  They had ammunition strapped across their 
chests.  They also had some kind of device clipped onto 
their belts.  They were each dressed in camouflage and had 
to be sweating in the oppressive heat.
        Susan couldn't sense any of their presence, but 
could get an impression of them.  It was like getting a 
feeling of someone after they left the room.  They only 
seemed to be emitting a shadow of themselves.  Something 
was masking them.
        "What do you want?" Mulder asked.
        The soldier at the door gave him a menacing smile.  
"I think you know."
        "Fine," Susan stepped forward.  "Let him go and I 
will come with you."
        "Susan," Michael groaned, struggling against the 
man.  The other soldier standing beside him jabbed him in 
the gut with the butt of his gun for his efforts.  
        Michael sagged against his captor, coughing.  
Susan gritted her teeth, anger welling up in her.
        "I'll go," Mulder said.
        Susan looked at him.  "No," she said, hoping the 
anger could not be heard in her voice as she stepped closer 
to the man at the front door.  "I'm more of a prize than he 
is.  I'll go with you willingly if you swear to leave them 
alone."
        "These men can't be trusted," Mulder said, starting 
toward her, but Scully put a hand on his arm, stopping him.
        She gave him a pleading look hoping Mulder 
understood.
        Susan ignored them.
        "Susan, please, they'll kill you," Michael begged.
        "Nah," the man holding him said.  "They'll just 
make her wish she was dead."
        Susan turned to look at Michael.  His left eye was 
completely swollen shut, but the cut on his forehead had 
stopped bleeding as well as his nose.  His good eye was 
trained on her and she could hear his pleadings in her 
mind.
        She focused her thoughts on him.  "Trust me."
       Michael did not look away when she turned to face 
the man by the door.
        "Whatta you say?" she asked.
        The man shrugged.  "It'd be fine by me, but I'm not 
in charge here."
        "Who is?"
        "He'll be here soon."
        Susan frowned.  "So what?  You're the scouting 
party?"
        He shrugged again.
        Susan took another step closer to him, but the man 
pointed his rifle at her.  "I'd say that's about close 
enough, wouldn't you?"
        Susan let out a put upon sigh.  "Not that old 
'don't come any closer clich‚' again," she said, taking 
another step.  She could hear a gun cocking behind her.
        "Da man said don't move," the man not holding 
Michael said.
        Susan didn't move, not because he told her not to, 
but because she couldn't.  She stood rooted in place, her 
eyes on the man before her.  A trickle of recognition 
streamed through her.  She couldn't get a good sense of 
him, but she felt a touch of familiarity from him.  She 
tilted her head to the side as if she was listening to 
something.  
        She felt her body grow cold, starting at the tip of 
her head and then running down to her toes.  Her skin 
prickled in goose-flesh and all her muscles tensed.  Her 
breathing became ragged and her heart started to pound in 
her chest.  She started to tremble.
        It was a feeling not unfamiliar to her, but 
something she hadn't felt in a long time.  It was pure 
blinding rage.
       "You motherfuckin' sonofabitch," she spat.
        The soldier took a step back, his face ashen.
        Susan reached into her pocket and withdrew the 
small piece of lead pulled from Michael's body.  She held 
it up into the light streaming in from the window so he 
could see it.  She looked at the bullet she held between 
the thumb and forefinger of her right hand, the rage 
building.
        Static electricity filled the room, making it feel 
like the air before a lightening storm.  The tiny hairs on 
everyone's skin stood on end.  Scully could feel the storm 
building and she could see it coming off of Susan.
        Susan returned her attention to the man.  Her lips 
trembled as she spoke.  "This is you," she said in a voice 
barely audible.  "You killed my friend, you almost killed 
my partner, and you almost killed me."
        The man took another step back, banging into the 
door.  The other men were shouting in confusion and fear, 
their weapons swinging wildly from person to person.  They 
could feel it, too.  The one soldier had released Michael, 
shoving him to the floor, but he stayed there, not daring 
to interfere.
        The soldier that was the center of Susan's rage 
shook his head violently, not able to talk.  
Susan approached him slowly, talking as she walked.  
"You coated this with something hoping to give an agonizing 
death."
        He shook his head again.
        "YES YOU DID!!!!!!" she screamed, the tendons in 
her neck stood out.
        Susan's outburst triggered the build up of her 
wrath into an explosion of power.  The light bulbs in the 
small cabin shattered, the short-wave radio erupted into 
flames, sparks flying and the flashlights popped and 
cracked.  Mulder pushed Scully to her knees, covering her 
with his body hoping to shield her from any flying glass.
        Ryan broke from his spell and followed them to the 
floor.  The soldiers remained standing, dumbfounded.
        Susan's eyes had taking on an insane quality, 
almost glowing in their madness.  Her teeth were bared as 
if she was going to attack him and rip his throat out.
        Susan stood, shaking.  "You took my friend.  You 
tortured him.  You killed the only person who really 
understood me and tried to kill the only person I truly 
love."  Her voice was menacing in it's calmness.
        He shook his head again.        
        Susan breathed rapidly through her nose.  "You 
people killed my parents, condemning me to a life of 
loneliness.  And I'm going to kill you."
        Her wrath came to the boiling the point and 
exploded away from her.  A wave of energy pulsed outward 
causing the men to be knocked to the ground. The bullets 
slung across their chests fired from the impact sending off 
an ear shattering explosion.
        When it was all over, Susan was the last one 
standing, her body still shaking.
        She threw the bullet at the dead soldier, not 
saying anything.  She just stood there, her head hanging.
        Michael slowly rose to his feet glancing at Mulder 
and Scully who were still on the floor, watching Susan.  He 
limped across the room, approaching her carefully.
        "Susie?" he said softly.
        She didn't respond.
        He came up behind her and laid a hand on her 
shoulder.  "Love," he whispered.
        He felt her startle as if waking from a dream.  
She looked at him, her eyes clouded.
        "We need to get out of here."
        She continued to stare at him.
        Michael turned her, holding her by her shoulders.  
He shook her gently.  "There are more of them coming, we 
need to get out of here."
        He saw her eyes clear as she came back to herself.  
He smiled at her.
        "Mike," she breathed.
        "Yeah, now come on."
        She allowed him to pull her to the door, but he had 
to stop to move the dead soldier.  What was remaining of 
his torso left a large pool of blood around him.
        When he opened the door, he noticed the others 
weren't following.  He turned to look at them.  
They had not moved.
        "WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE!"
        His voice spurred them into movement and they 
followed him outside.
        "Where are we going?" Mulder asked.
        Michael looked around the area trying to come up 
with a place to go.
        "I know a place," Susan said, taking Michael's 
hand.  
        He looked at her.  She gave him a weak smile.
        "Lead the way."
***
        It had started to rain as she led them over a mile 
away to an old mining shaft, long forgotten.  No one had 
spoken during their journey.  All of them, except for 
Scully were barefoot and were trying to maneuver themselves 
around any harsh debris on the ground.  That and the 
previous events had left them lost in thought.
        "I guess we can hang out here until we figure out 
what we want to do," Susan said, swiping her soaking wet 
hair out of her face.
        They just nodded and entered the shaft and out of 
the rain.
        Susan hung back, just inside.  She could feel the 
fear and confusion rolling off the others.
       "Michael," Scully said.  "I need to take a look at 
your eye."
        "I'm fine," he mumbled, walking away from her.
        She grabbed his arm.  "The hell you are.  Now, let 
me take a look."
        Mulder slid down the wall into a half aquatting, 
half sitting position, a bemused expression on his face.  
"It's easier to just give in when she gets like that," he 
said, slightly out of breath.  The pace Susan kept was more 
than his weakened body could handle.  He was starting to 
see spots before his eyes.  He let his head hand between 
his knees, gulping air.
        Scully looked at him for a minute before she 
returned her attention to Michael.  She reached into her 
pocket and pulled out a penlight, shining it into his face.
        "When did you pick up that?" Michael asked.
"When you work with Mulder for as long I have, you 
remember to bring a flashlight where ever you go.  Now 
sit," she said before she put the penlight between her 
teeth freeing both of her hands.
        Michael complied wincing as she probed his eye.
        Scully removed the penlight from her mouth.  "I 
think it'll be OK, it looks like a very bad black eye."
        Michael nodded.
        "Does your head hurt?"
        "No."
        "Nausea?"
        "No."
        Scully looked over her shoulder to where Susan 
stood at the mouth of the shaft.  She was standing with her 
back to them, looking out at the rain.  
"What the hell happened back there," she whispered.
        "That was Susan's impression of the incredible 
Hulk," he deadpanned.
        She gave him a confused look.
        "You don't want to get her angry," he said with a 
lopsided smile.
        "Has that ever happened before?"
        He shook his head.  "No, never."
        "What do we do now?" she asked.
        He shrugged.  "Hang out here until we can come up 
with a plan."
        "Which is what?" Ryan asked coming up beside him.
        Michael had forgotten about him.
        "Beats the hell out of me," he returned.
        "Mike, what the hell happened?" he asked.
        Michael glanced at Scully out of the corner of his 
good eye.  "I don't know, maybe something they were 
carrying short circuited."
        Ryan stared at him for a moment.  "Yeah, that has 
to be it."
***
Evening
       The day passed in relative quiet, their grumbling 
stomachs interrupting the silence.  They hadn't come up 
with a plan and weren't sure if they could.  
        Mulder and Scully laid curled up together, his head 
resting on her breast.  Scully ran a hand through his hair 
as he dozed.
        Ryan sat opposite them, watching their movements.  
His hands shook badly and he could feel the effects of not 
having a drink in twelve hours.  His head was pounding and 
he was nauseous.  And as he watched them murmur to each 
other and exchange small kisses, he missed his wife more 
than anything.
        Susan had't moved from her position at the entrance 
of the mine shaft.  She was sitting with her legs up close 
to her body, her arms wrapped around her knees.
        Michael came up beside her and sat down.  "You 
doin' all right?"
        Susan lifted her eyes to look at him.  "Not 
really," she said.
        He nodded.
        "God, Michael," she sighed, sitting up.  "I was 
completely out of control back there."
        He didn't respond, letting her talk.
        "I..., I can't believe I have that in me," she 
said.  "It just happened."
        "Susan."
        "Michael, I killed those men," she said.
        "It was an accident."
        She shook her head.  "No, I wanted to kill them, 
more than anything else in the world, I wanted them dead."
        "Susan, I understand."
        "Do you?  Do you really?"
        He laid a hand on her arm.  "Yes, I do."
        She gave him a tearful smile.  "No, you don't, 
because I don't understand."
        "Susan."
        She shook her head.  "Michael," she breathed.  "I 
enjoyed it."
        He froze.
        "I enjoyed the fear I provoked, I enjoyed killing 
them," she looked away, tears streaming down her face.  
"What does that make me?"
        Michael moved closer, pulling her to him.  She 
resisted at first, but he was much too strong for her.  "It 
makes you human," he whispered into her hair.
        She sobbed into his shirt.
        He held her to him, his hand cupping the back of 
her head.  "They've hurt you so much. I understand you 
wanting to hurt them back.  I do.  If I had the power, I'd 
take out anyone who'd ever hurt you."
        She pulled back to look at him.
        "And Susie," he said.  "I would want to do it 
slowly."
        Susan didn't know how to answer that, so she just 
kissed him and moved back into his embrace.  His arms 
protecting her.

***
Night

        A branch cracked in the distance.
        Susan woke with a start, her head coming off of 
Michael's shoulder.
        "What?" he asked sleepily.
        She touched him, silencing him.  
        It sounded again.
        "What was that?" Mulder whispered crawling up next 
to Michael, Scully behind him.
        "Shhhh," answered Susan.
        "They're coming," Ryan quivered.
        "Shut up!" Michael whispered harshly.
        They were quiet listening to the darkness. There 
were no other sounds except their breathing.  Susan closed 
her eyes, opening her mind to their surroundings.  She 
didn't sense anything, per se, but a disruption in the air 
around them.
        "Someone's coming, he's about 5 yards away," Susan 
whispered, standing.
        "Can you sense him?" Michael asked, standing up as 
well.
        "Not really, but I sense the change in the air."
        Michael nodded.  "Is he getting closer?"
        She nodded.
        Michael moved so that his back was pressed against 
the side of the mine shaft, just inside.  "Tell me when 
he's coming," he said, silently.
        Susan nodded.
        They waited a few seconds before Susan threw her 
hand up, giving him the signal.
        Michael swung around the side of the entrance and 
grabbed a man.  Pulling him hard, he slammed him against 
the stone wall.
        He let out a large 'oomph' and dropped whatever he 
was carrying.
        Susan picked it up and approached him where Michael 
was holding him pinned against the wall.  "Let him go," she 
said.
        "Susan," Michael protested.
        "I said let him go."
        Michael hesitated before he complied.  The man 
sagged back against the wall but made no move to make a 
break for it.  He was dressed like the men back at the 
cabin, but he didn't have any ammunition crossed over his 
chest.  All he carried was a small handgun at his side and 
the device he dropped.  He seemed terrified of Susan.
        Susan put her face in his.  "What's this?" she 
asked, holding the device up so he could see it.
        He didn't answer.
        Susan's free hand shot out, grabbing a handful of 
hair at the back of his head.  "I asked you a question."  
She pulled at it roughly
        "It's... it's... a, a tracking, a tracking device."
        "What are you tracking?"
        Again he didn't answer.
        Susan moved closer to him, her nose inches from 
his.  She released his hair to hold the back of his head.  
"If you don't tell me, you are not going to like what I'll 
do."
        He bit his lip.
        Susan gripped his head tighter, her fingernails 
digging into his scalp.  "How you would like to forget your 
most precious memory?"  she asked in a low voice.  "How 
would you like to forget what you're parents look like?"
        The man's eyes widened.
        "Feel that?" she asked.  
        It felt like worms were making their way through 
his brain.
        "That's me and oops, you just forgot your fifth 
birthday party, the one with the clown."  She gave him a 
smile.
        "Susan," Scully said stepping forward.  "Don't."
        Susan didn't look at her.  "It's all right, Dana.  
I'm not going to hurt him, just scramble him up a bit."
        It felt as if the worms had multiplied by a 
thousand and he was going to pass out.  "OK, OK.  Just let 
me go."
        Susan didn't move.  "Tell me what this is?" she 
said, indicating the device.
        "It's like I said, it's a tracking device."
        Susan looked down at it, releasing him.  He fell to 
the floor.
        "What are you tracking?"
        He looked up at her.  "The chip."

Part 30

        Scully took an involuntary step back, her hand 
going to the small scar on the base of her neck.
        Everyone turned to look at her.
        Susan looked down at the device in her hand, a 
pulsating red light blipped on the LCD screen.  She 
approached her, holding the device out, the light did not 
speed up.  She frowned.  
        She addressed the soldier.  "What chip are you 
tracking?"
        He didn't respond.
        Susan felt her anger rise.  She reached down, 
grabbed the man by the throat and hauled him to his feet.  
"WHAT GODDAMNED CHIP!!??" she shouted in his face.
        He made choking sounds, trying to speak.
        She released her grip slightly to allow him to 
talk.  "What chip," she growled.
        He coughed once.  "Not her's, his," he said, his 
eyes focusing on Mulder.
        Susan squeezed his throat.  "I removed that chip, 
don't fuck with me."
        His eyes bulged out before she loosened her grip 
again.  "It's designed so that you can't detect it, but 
it's there."
        As Susan removed her hand, the man slid to the 
floor, rubbing his throat.
        Mulder had backed up, his back bumping into the 
wall, looking as if he'd rather be any place else. 
        Susan walked up to him and pointed the device 
towards him. 
        The light pulsed rapidly.  
        Susan glanced at Michael, giving him a silent 
message.
        Michael's hand shot out grabbing Mulder by the 
forearm, his fingers digging into the flesh.
        "What the hell are you doing?" Mulder protested, 
trying to dislodge his hand from Michael's iron grip.
        Susan ignored him.  She scanned Mulder's body with 
the device, the light didn't change.  She pursed her lips, 
there had to be a way to find the chip, she thought.  
        She held her empty hand out, palm up.  She linked, 
in her mind, the impression of the device, the energy it 
was emitting and her mental scan of Mulder.  Her hand slid 
almost sensuously across his skin, like a lover's caress.  
When her hand moved over his left pectoral muscle, she knew 
she'd found it.  
        She looked up into his frightened eyes.  "I found 
it," she said softly.
        He blinked at her.  "Do what you need to do."
        She looked over his shoulder to Michael.  "Hold 'im 
still," she said.
        Michael moved so that he was standing directly 
behind Mulder.  He took his other arm and brought it behind 
him.  He links his arms around Mulder's, holding him in 
place.
        "What are you going to do?" Scully rushed out.  She 
wasn't sure she liked what was about to happen.
        "I'm going to take the chip out."
        "How?"
        Susan didn't respond.  She dropped the device, 
letting it fall and break onto the rocky floor.  She 
reached into her back pocket, removing her father's pearl 
handled butterfly knife.  With a flick flick of her wrist, 
the blade was revealed, catching the starlight.
        "What if something happens when we remove the chip, 
like what happened to me?" Scully asked, her fear causing 
her voice to rise.  That may have been the first time she 
admitted that she believed the removal of the chip caused 
her cancer.
        Susan looked down at the man still sitting on the 
floor.  He didn't dare try to run away.  She gave him a 
questioning look.
        The man, thinking it would be better to answer than 
to have her touch him again, responded.  "It's not like 
your chip," he said to Scully.  "It's just a tracking 
device."
        Scully glanced at Susan.  "How do we know he's 
telling the truth?"
        The man let out a humorless chuckle.  "You think 
I'd lie to her?" he said, pointing his chin up toward 
Susan.
       Susan smiled.  "He learns fast, doesn't he?" she 
asked no one in particular.
        "Is he telling the truth?" Mulder asked, his voice 
wavering.
        Susan sighed.  "As far as I can tell, yes."
        He nodded.  "Then take it out."
        Michael released him long enough to allow him to 
remove his shirt.  He held it out silently to Scully.  She 
took it from him, clutching it to her chest.
         "I'll be all right, Scully," Mulder said, cupping 
her cheek.  He wasn't sure who he was trying to comfort, 
himself or his partner.Scully's eyes ran up his chest, 
taking in the ropy scars and various remnants of torture 
invoked onto his beautiful body.  She looked into his eyes, 
hoping to give him a center of focus.  "I know you will, 
Mulder," she said softly, placing her hand over his.
        Mulder gave her a determined nod before he turned 
to Susan.  "Let's get this over with."
        Susan took a deep breath before she slid her hand 
over his chest.  She stopped, just above his left nipple.  
"I'm sorry we can't sanitize this, but we don't have time."
        Mulder nodded.  "I understand."
        Michael held on to Mulder again, keeping him still.  
His grip was so tight that it felt as if the blood was 
being cut off, but Mulder didn't protest.
        Scully stood off to the side, her hands still 
clutching Mulder's shirt.  He turned his head to look at 
her, his eyes catching hers.  He looked like Han Solo as he 
was being lowered into the carbonite chamber.  He must have 
realized this because he gave her a lopsided smile and 
said, 
       "This is where you're supposed to tell me you love 
me."
        Her eyebrows scrunched together not understanding 
for a brief moment before her lips turned into a smile.  
"And this is where you say `I know'."
        He grinned, pleased she caught the reference.  
"It's better than 'Oh Brother'."
        Scully actually chuckled before she sobered 
quickly.  "You already know I love you," she whispered.
        "I know," he said with a smirk, not being able to 
resist.
        Susan smiled to herself, then said.  "Ready?"  
Mulder bit down on his bottom lip regarding her.  "As 
I'll ever be," he said, again turning his attention to 
Scully.
       The blade touched Mulder's skin, but his eyes 
remained locked on Scully's.
        Slowly, more slowly than Mulder would have liked, 
Susan made about a three inch cut into his skin, the blood 
running in hot rivulets down his chest. 
         She made another cut.  He clenched his jaw, but 
did not cry out.  
        Susan wiped the blade on her shorts then flicked 
her wrist, closing the blade.  "Now here comes the hard 
part, Mulder," she said, putting it back in her pocket.  
        He felt a searing pain in his chest as Susan probed 
the cuts she made with her fingers.  This time he did cry 
out.
        Her eyes flicked up to his.  "Sorry," she 
whispered.  "But you know I have to do this."  She could 
feel his pain and it was excruciating.
        He didn't respond.
        "Just a little bit longer, Hon," she said, 
concentrating on her fingers.  Suddenly, her nail hit 
something hard.  "Got it," she said in a strained voice.
        She removed her hand holding up her bloody fingers. 
Between them was a small metallic object.
        Scully sucked in a breath.  It was the same size as 
her own chip.
        Leaving Scully to clean up his wound, Susan knelt 
down holding the chip up so the man could see it.  She 
reached out, taking his gun from his holster. Why he hadn't 
gone for it before was a mystery to her.  He must be more 
afraid of her than she thought he was.  He must have been 
at the cabin.
       Holding the muzzle of the gun against his forehead, 
she gave him a command.  "Open your mouth."
        His eyes widened.  
        "I SAID OPEN YOUR MOUTH!"
        He pressed his lips together and shook his head.
        Susan pushed the gun harder into his skin, forcing 
her bloody fingers into his mouth.  He protested, but she 
was able to get the chip into his mouth.
        "Swallow," she ordered, holding his chin.He shook 
his head.
        "Fine," she said and brought the gun back, level 
with her shoulder.  Swinging her arm down she slammed the 
man on the side of his head with the butt of his gun.  He 
made a sickening thud when he hit the ground.
        Scully had cleaned up the wound as much as she 
could with Mulder's shirt.  It was killing him, but it was 
nothing compared to the pain he'd been in since his 
abduction.  
        He looked up at Susan when she approached him, a 
rueful smile on his face.  "An X?" he asked.
        Susan shrugged.  "It seemed like the best 
approach."
        Mulder looked down at his chest, the X Susan made 
was welling up with blood again.  He held his shirt tight 
against it hoping to stop the bleeding.  Another scar to 
add to collection, but this one was a reminder of victory.
        "Mulder," Scully said, her voice full of wonder.
        He looked up sharply.  "What?"
        Everyone crowed around him, watching fascinated as 
the scars on his face faded away, leaving bare patches in 
his short growth of beard.  
        His brows knitted together.  "What the hell?" he 
exclaimed, his hand going to his face.
        Scully pushed his arm away so she could get a 
better view of his chest.  The ropy scar was disappearing 
as were the other small marks on his chest.  In a matter of 
minutes, all the wounds inflicted upon him during his stay 
at Camp Hero vanished.  The only mark remaining was the 
bleeding X.
        "No fuckin' way," Michael said in awe.
        Susan shook her head, speechless.
        Mulder wasn't sure exactly what had just happened 
but he wasn't going to second guess it.  "It must have been 
the chip," he pondered aloud.
        "How, though?" Scully asked, sounding like her old 
skeptic self.  
        "It must have been keeping you sick, preventing you 
from healing," Michael said.
        "But, he healed right before our eyes, that's 
impossible," Scully said.
        "Go with it, Scully," Mulder said, smiling. 
        "We need to get out of here," Ryan blurted.
        Everyone looked at him.  During the last few 
minutes, they had forgotten he was there.
        His eyes were huge and haunted as they darted 
around the mine shaft.  He looked like a trapped animal.  
Who could blame him?  Michael was having a hard time 
accepting a lot that had happened and he knew Susan better 
than anyone... or at least he thought he did.
        Susan glanced at Michael then at the unconscious 
man on the ground; Mulder's blood drying on his lips.
        "Ryan's right," Susan agreed.  "If we stay here, 
we're just looking for trouble."
        "Any ideas?" Scully asked.
        They all looked at each other.
        No one could come up with anything.
        "Well," Mulder said.  "We can't stay here, so we 
should get going somewhere."
        Susan nodded.  "Agreed.  It's stopped raining, so 
we can at least wander and not have to worry about getting 
soaked."
        "And hopefully, we won't bump into anyone," Michael 
added.
        Susan considered his point.  "Well, now that I know 
that I'm looking for, I think I might be able to tell if 
anyone is coming.  But then again, they seem to be using 
something to mask their presence."  
        She shrugged.  "I guess we'll just have to see."
        "That's reassuring," Ryan grumbled as he followed 
them out into the morning darkness.
        It was then that a loud explosion rocked the woods.  
A large fireball erupted into the sky.
        They hit the ground, expecting soldiers.  Flames 
lit the morning sky.
        "What the hell was that?" Scully shouted."They must 
have blown up the cabin," Susan guessed.
        "Why would it explode like that?" Mulder asked, 
helping Scully up.
        Michael watched the smoke rise.  "We have a lot of 
explosives and ammunition in the cellar.  If a fire hits 
that, blam-o," he said, making an exploding gesture with 
his hands.
        Susan felt her stomach drop.
        "What is it?" Michael asked.
       "Ruffus, " Susan said, getting to her feet.  "I 
forgot about Ruffus."
        "Oh, God," Michael whispered.
        "We have to make sure he's OK," she said to him, 
her eyes pleading.
        He nodded.
        "You guys want to go back there for a dog?" Ryan 
asked in dismay.
        "You can stay here with the unconscious tracking 
device," Susan said, indicating the soldier lying at the 
mouth of the mine shaft.  "Or, you can come with us.  I 
really don't care."  And with that, she started back toward 
the cabin.
        Michael didn't hesitate as he followed her.
        Mulder and Scully exchanged a look and with a shrug 
Mulder started walking after them with Scully beside him.
        Ryan looked around himself, his eyes falling on the 
man on the ground.  He felt as if he had been transported 
into the Twilight Zone.  Things like this just didn't 
happen in real life, they happened on TV.  He's just a 
regular guy who needed to lay off the liquor.  That had to 
have been it.  He must've had too much to drink and now 
he's hallucinating. The pink elephants would be coming 
around any time now. He nodded to himself.  That was it, it 
was all in his mind.  None of this was really happening, he 
told himself.  He almost believed it when he realized he 
was alone.
        "Hey guys!"  he shouted.  "Wait for me!"  he 
shouted, running in the direction the others had gone.  He 
may be nuts, but he's not stupid.
***
        When they got closer to the cabin, they heard men's 
voices. The group crouched down at the edge of the tree 
line watching the men watch the cabin burn.  There were 
soldiers meandering around all over the place, and in the 
center of all the activity was Krycek.
        "You want we should go look for `im?" one man asked 
Krycek.
        He didn't respond right away, his eyes watching the 
flame dance around what was left of the structure.
        "Boss?" 
       Krycek's eyes flickered for a moment before he 
regarded the man before him.  "No, it's over," he said.  
"It's time to leave."  His voice held a note of defeat in 
it.
        "Huh?" the man asked.  "We was told to bring 'em 
in."
        Krycek looked at him as if he was the stupidest man 
on earth.  "I know what you were told and I know what I was 
told."
       The man gave him a perplexed look.
        Krycek sighed.  "Go round up the men.  Tell them 
it's time to leave."  He turned toward the tree line, his 
eyes focusing on the spot were the agents hid.  "There's 
nothing left for us to do here."
        The man didn't move.
        Krycek focused his attention back to the soldier.  
"I said go!"
        He jumped into action and within minutes the 
soldiers were heading off in the opposite direction of the 
agents.
        During their movements, Krycek stayed were he was, 
regarding the burning cabin.  Once all the soldiers were on 
their way, he again looked toward them, knowing where they 
were, but not being able to see them.  "Do svidanya," he 
whispered before he followed his men.
        Michael whispered to Susan, "What was that all 
about?"
        "A man fallen from grace who regrets it."
Part 31
A full day passed while they headed back toward where 
they ditched the car.   The hike didn't take a day, but 
they walked slowly, their eyes vigilant as they scanned the 
forest around them watching every shift in the grass or 
trees for a sign that someone was there.  As time passed, 
they became less worried and started to relax.  
Susan didn't have to worry about Ruffus, he was 
waiting for them at the car.  How he got there and how he 
knew to meet them there was a mystery no one was eager to 
solve.
Ryan watched Mulder smiling and full of life as he 
talked with his partner.  A new life was growing in that 
small woman.  He smiled to himself.  She reminded him a lot 
of his wife.  They were about the same size, but Molly had 
long dark hair that ended at her waist and eyes that were 
almost black in color.  The one way in which they were 
similar was the fire that seemed to burn inside her.  Molly 
had that and had focused it on him more than once.  He 
sighed.  God, he missed her.
He looked away when Michael approached him, his 
posture was like a man trying to walk up to a dog that 
might bolt at any minute.  He mentally berated himself.  He 
had caused that, he was the source for all the friction 
between him and his little brother.  They had once been the 
best of friends, spent a few summers ago building that 
cabin, not once getting into an argument.  When did it all 
go wrong?  He looked down at his trembling hands.  It all 
began when he started drinking heavily.  His drinking had 
been the cause for all his problems.
	"So, are you heading back with us?" Michael asked 
Ryan, not making eye contact.
	He shrugged, his eyes scanning the woods.  "I hitch-
hiked up here from Bangor Airport."  He forced a smile at 
his brother.  "Ya think you could give your big brother a 
ride"
	Michael allowed a small smile.  "Yeah, I think we can 
arrange that."
"Thanks," he said.
They walked to the car where the rest of the group was 
waiting.  Ryan a step behind the younger man.
"Are you comin' with us, Ryan?" Susan asked.
He nodded.
"We definitely have room back at the house," she said 
as he got in the back of the station wagon with Ruffus who 
seemed to be glad he had the company.
He shook his head.  "Nah, I'm going as far as the 
airport," he said.
"Then what?" Mulder asked from his place beside Scully 
in the back seat.
Ryan stared out the back window, watching the scenery 
while Michael maneuvered them onto the road.  "I have a lot 
of apologizing to do to my wife," he said in a faraway 
tone.
***
Somewhere off the coast of Rhode Island
Evening
	Susan opened the refrigerator and handed Mulder a 
beer.  He looked at Scully, a questioning look on his face.
	She shrugged.  "I doubt it will hurt you now," she 
said.
	He very happily twisted the cap off and chugged the 
bottle and let out a very satisfied belch.
	Scully shook her head at him.
	Michael took a proffered beer.  "I still don't 
understand why Ryan had to take a plane to Boston, we 
coulda dropped him off on the way," he said twisting open 
his beer.
	Susan took another beer out of the fridge.  She didn't 
offer Scully one, knowing she'd never drink while pregnant.  
"I got the impression he wanted to get home as soon as 
possible," she said, opening her beer.  She raised it to 
her lips when it was suddenly snatched from her hand.  She 
looked up at Michael, her surprise evident in her eyes.  
"HEY!" she protested.
	Michael shook his head and put the bottle behind him 
on the counter.  "You shouldn't drink," he stated.
	Susan looked at him as if he just sprouted two heads.  
"And why the hell not?"
	"Because we don't know if you're pregnant or not," he 
said.  "Last time you were about two weeks along before we 
found out."
	She gave him a blank stare.
	Michael looked down at the floor.  "According to the 
book I read, this stage in development is the most crucial.  
This is when all the neurological pathways are formed and 
the introduction of alcohol into your system could 
permanently damage a fetus."  His cheeks reddened in 
embarrassment as if he shouldn't know this stuff.
	Susan looked over to Scully.
	"He's right, Susan," she said.  "The first few weeks 
of a fetus' life is the most important time in it's 
development."
	Mulder smiled.  "You seem to be outnumbered here," he 
said.
	Susan let out a huff and crossed her arms over her 
chest.  "Fine," she said before she reached out to take 
Michael's bottle out of his hand.  "But if I can't have 
one, neither can you."  She turned away from him and 
started pouring the beer down the sink.
	Michael watched her with a grin on his face.  But 
Mulder wasn't so happy.
	"Hey!" he said, taking the bottle from Susan.  "I'll 
drink it, no reason for it to go to waste."  He stepped 
back, now holding a beer in each hand.  He looked like a 
reject from a frat party.  "More for me," he said trying to 
pick up the bottle Michael took from Susan, but not doing a 
very well.
	"Mulder, be careful how much you drink," Scully 
scolded.  "You've lost a lot of weight and it's been a 
while for you."
	He looked at her.  "The last time I drank was when we 
watched Caddyshack," he said, a leer in his voice.
	Scully looked down, her hair shielding her blossoming 
blush.
	"Oh, I see that you remember that," he said, elbowing 
her side.
	She turned her eyes up to his.  "Yes, I remember that, 
but Mulder, that was months ago."
	The smile vanished from his face.  "It was, I forgot.  
It doesn't seem that long ago to me."
***
	Mulder stood at the railing, the breeze ruffling his 
hair.  His eyes had a distant quality about them as he 
stared out at the stars and water.  They had decided to 
stay `out at sea' for awhile, relaxing and recuperating.  
He didn't get to enjoy it when they were heading north 
considering that he was feeling like shit most of the time.  
Despite a faint feeling of nausea caused by the rhythmic 
rocking of the boat, he was feeling pretty good, well, 
physically anyway.
	He didn't hear Susan come up behind him and almost 
jumped out of his skin when she appeared next to him.
	"SHIT! SUSAN!"  he said, jumping.  "You scared the 
hell out of me!"
	She gave him a small smile.  "Sorry."
	He nodded at her then looked back out toward the 
water.
	"Penny for your thoughts?" she whispered.
	He let out a humph.  "It'll cost you more than that."
	"Well, considering I lost about a million dollars back 
at the cabin, I'm a little low on cash right now."
	He looked sideways at her.  "I doubt you'll ever be 
low on cash," he said.
	She shrugged.  "So," she said turning to look at him.  
"Considering jumping?"
	Mulder didn't answer.
	"You know, if you committed suicide, Dana'd kill you."
	He chuckled, despite his sour mood.  "I wouldn't doubt 
that.  Scully'd find some way to bring me back to life just 
to wring my neck."
	Susan smiled.  "And then I'd get a crack at you."
	He returned her smile.
	"Seriously, Mulder," she said.  Reaching out a hand to 
brush some hair out of his eyes.  "What's bothering you so 
much."  Susan ran a hand down his cheek, cupping his jaw.  
He hadn't shaved yet and the growth of beard was thick.  
His hair was longer than usual, making him look like a thin 
form of Jeremiah Johnson.  She could easily search his mind 
for what was bothering him, but she felt he needed to 
express it.
	He held her hand against his face for a few moments 
relishing in the warmth.  Despite the overwhelming love he 
felt for Scully, Susan would always hold a piece of his 
heart.  He considered himself lucky to have been loved and 
still be loved by her.  "You know I'll always love you, 
right?"
	She smiled and dropped her hand so that she could 
clutch is fingers.  "Yes," she said, softly.  "And you know 
I'll always love you."
	He smiled.  "I will be forever in your debt for what 
you have done for me, recently and for the time we shared 
many years ago."
	She nodded, silently accepting his thanks.
	"It's just that."  He looked away for a moment.  "I 
can't help but feel unworthy for all that you and Michael 
and Scully."  he looked down at his hands.  "You've all 
done so much for me, and I'm not sure I'm worth it."
	Susan shook her head, her lips forming a small smile.  
"The ever present Mulder guilt," she said.  "Have you ever 
wondered if the reason we all risk so much for you isn't 
really about you?"
	He looked up at her, not understanding her meaning.
	"Personally, this whole thing was quite selfish.  I 
know it was for Dana as well."
	Mulder frowned.  
	She smiled.  "Dana loves you," she said in a tone that 
suggested he was a moron.  "Yes, she would do anything for 
you, but not always because of you.  It's because she wants 
to, she wants you near, she doesn't want to lose you."  She 
shook her head.  "Christ, Mulder, you're the father of her 
child."
	"But," he started.
	Susan interrupted him.  "No buts, Mulder.  She wants 
you.  You should feel blessed."
	He stared at her a moment before he answered.  "You 
have no idea how much I do."
	"So start acting like it."
	He looked away.  "But I feel like I've missed so much 
and I'm terrified that I'll screw something up."
	She gave him an indulgent smile.  "You and every new 
father."
	He shrugged.  "Michael doesn't seem to feel that way."
	Susan chuckled.  "That's because he's been planning 
this since he was four years old.  He's always wanted a 
family."
	Mulder smiled.  "Really?"
	She nodded.
	A gust of wind rocked the boat and they clutched the 
railing to steady themselves.  
	"Speaking of our significant others," Mulder said 
after the wind died down.  "Where are they?"
	Susan looked back toward the cabin.  "Still at it."
	"What?" he asked.  "They're going to wind up playing 
all night."
	They had been playing Monopoly since dinner ended 
about four hours ago.  Mulder was the first to go bankrupt, 
followed quickly by Susan.  They thought it was funny that 
an empath was so bad at the board game, but she shut them 
up quickly reminding them of how she beat all their asses 
at Chess when they were at the cabin.
	"Michael's not one to give up easily," Susan said.
	Mulder smirked.  "Neither is Scully, they could 
literally be at it all night."
	Susan gave him a seductive smile.  "I'll bet you a 
hundred bucks that when I go to bed, he'll decide he's 
tired not even ten minutes later."
	He laughed.  "I would have to be an idiot to take a 
bet like that."
	"You said it, not me."
	Mulder leaned back against the railing.  "So, how's 
the baby making going?" he asked in an innocent voice.
	She didn't take the bait.  "Good," she said, 
seriously.  "I'm having the time of my life."
	He chuckled.  "I'm sure.  Mike said it took about two 
weeks before you knew?"
	She nodded.  "Yeah.  It'll be around that time soon.  
I've been bracing myself, waiting for it to happen.  Then 
again, it could take months for me to get pregnant."
	He looked at her thoughtfully.  "What's that like?  
Feeling a new life enter you?"
	She sighed, giving his question a little thought.  
"It's kind of like losing your mind for a minute.  I think 
because the first time I wasn't really sure what was 
happening, it wasn't the way it was supposed to be."
	"And how is it supposed to be?"
	She smiled.  "Magnificent."
	He looked at her, wondering what that must really be 
like.  Women get to feel the baby move thoughout their 
pregnancy, but Susan gets to feel the essence of the baby 
right from the start.  So does Michael for that matter.  He 
envied them.
	"You know," Susan said, sensing his thoughts.  "I can 
show you your baby."
	He paled.  "I."
	She smiled.  "It can be frightening at first, but 
trust me, you'll love it."
	He did really want to `feel' their baby, but the idea 
scared him a little.  It was one thing to have Scully tell 
him she was pregnant, but to have true confirmation was 
another thing all together.
	"Don't worry, Mulder.  We'll take it slow."
	He let out a breath and changed the subject.  "So are 
you going to stay with the bureau after you have the baby?  
You don't really need to work," he said.
	She shrugged.  "I don't know.  Ever since I was 
promoted, it's lost it's charm.  I feel that if I left I 
could do so much more, but I don't like the idea of not 
working with Michael."
	He nodded.  He could understand the idea of not 
wanting to be away from your partner.  The worst thing 
about it was the idea that they'd have another partner.  He 
shivered.  He couldn't comprehend the idea of Scully 
working with someone else.  He could never trust that 
person to watch her back, and the fact that it would most 
likely be another man.  His face showed his distaste of 
that thought.
	He shook his head, trying to get that image out of his 
mind.  "What is it you'd rather do?"
	She thought about it for a minute.  "Probably become 
an independent profiler, be a consultant.  I get so many 
requests from around the world for help on unsolvable case, 
there's no way that I'd be bored.  But now that I've found 
the truth about what happened to my parents, I."  She 
stopped.  "I don't know," she breathed out.
	"Susan,"  Mulder said with a  warning in his voice.  
"You don't want to start down that path. It'll over take 
your life."
	She turned on him, her lips moved up into a snarl.   
"What would happen if the chess pieces started fighting 
back?  If the pawns decided to take out the king and 
queen?"
	Mulder looked at her.  "The game would end."
	She smiled, but it did not reach her eyes.  "Exactly."
	"But Susan," he said grabbing her hands.  "I know from 
experience, you don't want to do that.  You are trying to 
start a family. Don't let them take that away from you," he 
implored.
	She gave him a long hard look.  "I think that's a 
conversation you should be having with yourself."
	He blinked at her.
***
	Mulder stared at himself in the mirror.  He really did 
look horrible.  Nearly half his face was hidden by beard 
and his hair was way too long.  Susan had given him a pair 
of scissors and without a second thought, he started 
trimming his beard.  He couldn't shave it off without 
taking some of the length off.
	Scully heard him moving around in the head and peaked 
around the corner to see what he was doing.
	He saw her in the mirror.  "Game's over?" he asked, 
setting the scissors down.
	Scully shrugged.  "Not really, we left it at a draw.  
Besides, Michael said he was tired."
	Mulder smirked.  "Let me guess, Susan went to bed 
about ten minutes ago."
	Scully gave him a perplexed looked.  "Yeah, how'd you 
know that?"
	He grinned.  "I must be psychic."
	She shook her head, smiling.  Oh, she got it.  "So," 
she said.  "Finally giving up the refugee look?"
	He glanced at himself in the mirror.  "I thought it 
was about time.  I really don't look like myself."
	She came up behind him, her hand on his back.  He had 
removed his shirt before he entered the bathroom, knowing 
he'd probably get it soaked.  His skin was warm against her 
palm.  
	"I still can't get over the fact that all traces of 
what was done to you is gone."
	He gave her a sober look.  "Not all of it."
	She nodded before she moved in front of him.  "Let me 
do that?" she asked, reaching out for the shaving cream he 
held in his left hand.
	He gave her a long look as a memory flashed through 
his mind.  It was a moment much like this one with a woman 
he hardly knew.
	Scully noticed the change in his features and dropped 
her hand.  "It's all right if you don't want me to," she 
said, trying to hide her disappointment.
	Mulder looked up sharply, unaware that he had looked 
away from her.  "No, no, Scully, here."  He handed her the 
shaving cream and gave her a smile.  "If this is some 
fantasy you have, who am I to deny you."
	A blush passed over her features.  "I didn't say it 
was a fantasy, just that I'd like to do this for you."
	He put his hands on her hips and hoisted her up onto 
the counter top.  "Scully, would you like to help me 
shave?" he murmured.  "I'd really like it if you would."
	She smiled.  "Yes, Mulder, I'd love to."
	Moving into the V of her legs, he placed his hands on 
the counter next to her hips.
	Scully reached behind her and turned on the tap.  The 
sound of running water breaking the silence.  She wet her 
hands and brought them up to his face to wet what was left 
of his beard.  "I've never done this before, so you're 
going to have to talk me through it," she said, suddenly 
feeling self conscious.
	He smiled.  "Just imagine you're shaving you're legs," 
he said.  "But with a little more care."
	She nodded, seriously.  With the intensity she was 
known for, she proceeded to lather his face with shaving 
cream.  "I'll be careful, I promise."
	He didn't move when she raised the razor to his face.  
"I trust you," he murmured.
	Concentrating on her task she methodically cleared 
away the offending beard, slowly revealing the man she 
loved.
	During her task, Mulder's eyes stayed riveted on 
Scully's face.  It held an expression he had seem millions 
of times - complete concentration.  He'd never be able to 
watch her do an autopsy again with out thinking of this 
moment.  He was also experiencing something he hadn't felt 
or had the strength for in months - arousal.  It was 
extremely erotic to watch her and feel her shave him.  Any 
memories he had from the last time a woman had done this 
for him were washed away by this beautiful woman whom he 
loved more than life itself.
	Unfortunately, it had gone too quickly and before he 
knew it, Scully was wiping his face clean with a damp 
cloth.
	She gave him a smile that could have feed him for 
years.  "There you are," she whispered.  "I missed you."
	He ran a hand over his newly shaven face and looked at 
himself in the mirror over Scully's shoulder.  "I missed 
myself," he said in a soft voice.  He looked at her.  In 
this position, they were at the same eye level.  "And I 
missed being seen."
	He watched as her eyes welled up with tears.  "I was 
so afraid, Mulder," she said. "I was so afraid I wasn't 
going to find you or that I was going to be too late."
	Mulder drew her into his arms.  "But you weren't" he 
said.  "You saved me, Scully.  I knew you would."
	He held her while she clutched at his shoulders; until 
her tears ran dry.
	She pulled back.  "I never stopped praying," she said.
	"Never stop, Scully," he said, placing a hand on her 
lower abdomen.  "Never stop praying."
	She looked down at his hand and at that moment she 
felt a flutter in her belly.  Her eyes widened and she 
looked up at him.  His eyes showed his surprise.
	"Did you.?" she asked.
	"Was that.?" he asked.
	She laughed.  "Yes, I think it was," she said, her 
tears staring anew.  She felt it again and the laughter 
bubbled up through her tears.
	"My, God," he whispered in awe.  "I can't believe it."
	"I know," she said, silent tears running down her 
face.
	"There's a baby in there," he said.  Mulder fell to 
his knees, ignoring the pain as they made contact with the 
tiled floor.
	"Yes, there really is," she said.  She ran her hands 
through his shaggy hair.
	"My, God, Scully," he said before he pushed her shirt 
out of the way.  He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on the 
skin of her belly.  Looking up at her, his eyes wet, he 
whispered,  "Thank you."
***
	Susan stood brushing her hair while she waited for 
Michael to finish in the bathroom.  The familiar sounds of 
him brushing his teeth and doing whatever he does before 
his goes to bed was a comfort to her.  After her 
conversation with Mulder on the deck, she was trying to 
figure out what her next course of action was going to be.  
Should she forget what she had learned out in the woods 
that day, marry Michael, raise a family and go about her 
life as if nothing happened or should she fight?  She 
sighed and placed the brush on the dresser.  She already 
knew the answer to that question, there was no way she 
could bring her child up in an environment like that.  She 
just couldn't.  As much as she'd like to avenge her 
parents, she also knew they wouldn't want her to throw away 
a chance for a normal life with the man she loves.  She sat 
on the bed, letting out a heavy sigh.
	Michael turned off the light as he left the bathroom.  
Susan was sitting on the bed with a far off expression on 
her face.  He could see that she was having an internal 
conversation.  He felt her come to whatever decision she 
felt she had to make and sit up straighter.  She radiated 
strength and endurance.  
	The feeling of her essence in the room, around him was 
almost palatable.  He swayed on his feet from the heady 
feeling of it.
	"Hey," he croaked out.  He cleared his throat as he 
approached her.  
	She twisted her body around to look at him.
	"You OK?"
	Susan smiled and stood.  She was dressed for bed in 
nothing but panties and a tank top.  Her hair shined in the 
light from the lamp behind her.  Her skin was newly 
scrubbed and her cheeks were pink because of it.  She never 
looked more beautiful to him.
	Susan felt his appraisal of her and shifted from foot 
to foot.  For some reason it was making her nervous.
	He cocked his head to the side before he pulled his 
shirt off.  "What's the matter?" he asked, tossing it 
aside, not bothering to put it in the hamper like he always 
did and approached her.
	She shrugged.  "Nothing."
	He now stood in front of her.  "It doesn't feel like 
nothing," he said.
	She shrugged again.  "I don't know."
	He grinned.  "You don't know?"
	She shrugged again.
	He turned to the dresser and clicked on the CD Player.  
A familiar tune filled the air.  It was the song they had 
picked for their wedding song - Amazed, by Lonestar.
	She smiled at him as she stepped into his arms.  They 
danced quietly to the music, both content to just feel each 
other.  The first time they had heard this song, they were 
apart.  Each had thought of the other as the lyrics 
described them.  It was as if the song was made for them.
	They made an odd couple, she dancing in underwear and 
a tank top and him clad only in boxers.  He rested his 
temple against hers and murmured to her.  "When do you 
think you'll know?" he asked.
	She breathed him in.  "I'm not sure, Love.  It could 
take months before I get pregnant.  Remember I just got off 
the pill, I might not have even ovulated this month.  It 
may take awhile before things get back on track, so to 
speak."
	He leaned away from her.  "Yeah, but you were on the 
pill when you got pregnant last him."
	She considered his words.  "I was, but you can't plan 
these things.  It could take time."
	He shook his head and moved closer to her.  "I don't 
think so.  I have a feeling about this."
	She gave him an indulgent smile.  "Oh, you do, now, do 
you?"
	He smiled.  "Yeah, I do."  He leaned down to place a 
quick kiss on her lips.  
	She returned the kiss, pressing hard against him.  
"Mmmm," she sighed.
	He pulled away.  "You'll tell me?" he whispered.
	She leaned in to kiss him again.  Against his lips she 
murmured, "you'll be the first to know."
***
Somewhere off the coast of Rhode Island
Dawn

	The two lovers lay wrapped in each other's arms, the 
sheets tangled around them.  
	The observer smiled.  It was worth the effort to find 
him.  Again, his Superior was right.  Without him, the 
plans would not come to fruition.  He was necessary to the 
future.
	He moved silently out of the room, the door closing 
just as quietly.  He journeyed down the hall toward the 
room at the end.  Without hesitation, he pushed the door 
open.  Before him was the object of his quest.  Why he and 
all his brothers risked so much.
	Susan was lying on her back, Michael's head resting on 
her breast.  The sheets were gathered around their waists, 
their breathing even.
	Again, the observer smiled.  Law may not have yet 
bound these two together, but fate had long ago, before 
these two specific individuals even existed.  His Superior 
was always right.
	He leaned against the door jamb, and watched the pair 
sleep together, their minds joined in slumber - they 
dreamed as one.
	Knowing the time was drawing near, Gabe pushed himself 
away from the wall.  With a deep breath, he raised his hand 
to his lips and as if to blow a kiss, breathed life into 
the child.
	Susan sat up in bed, her hand flying to her belly.
	Michael sat up next to her, his breathing fast.
	Susan's eyes widened as they stared in the direction 
of their invisible guest.
	"Susie?" Michael asked, his trembling hand covering 
the one on her stomach.
	Her eyes filled with tears as she looked down at her 
Love and her lips spread out into a magnificent smile.

THE END
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