From: Danielle Ranee Date: Tue, 17 Jul 2001 01:10:19 -0700 (PDT) Subject: Can't (1/1) by: D. Ranee Boyd Source: direct Can't D. Ranee Boyd 2.27.01 Title: Can't (1/1) Author: D. Ranee Boyd Rating: PG Classification: VA-Vingette/Angst Keywords: Contact: danamuldermd@yahoo.com Summary: Letting go is not always necessary Archive: Anywhere, just let me know. Disclaimer: Not mine, anyway-no names used, no harm done. Spoilers: Everything up to Dead Alive but before Mulder's resurrection. Feedback: Yes, yes, yes. Love it. Please use story title as subject line so I know it's safe to open. --------X-------- So long ago, I dreamed of ever after. Happily to live, forever just with you. I don't want to forget the way I used to be. Before truth shattered down, startling me awake. Forever seems so long, living all alone. Today and tomorrow a nightmare now that you're gone. Bitterness threatens to swallow me out of pity. This reality is so unreal, I'm blinded by false hope. This insane doubt, an injustice to you and I. But how can I say it, think it, believe it? I can't. Future wiped out in a heartbeat, the lack of yours. I still remember all the silly days, all the tears. All the fears that kept me silent, seperate from you. Overwhelmed by grief, the prospect of living torn in two. The tears don't fall, I can't seem to cry for this lie. I can't believe the hate and rage that boils. The image of you cold, blue, never leaving me- mingling with the memories of laughing hazel eyes. I still can't believe, I can't acknowledge your absence. I can't. Alone. I know it. I feel it. I scream it. Cold granite, cold as you under my hands. Tracing your name, the legacy you took with you. I feel the rain cloud burst as I finally cry for you. I cry for our paths departed. The path I will continue to walk alone. The path that will lead me back to you. I cradle this small hope close to my heart. Close to where you now reside. I will see you again. I used to dream of ever after. I can't forget who I used to be. I need to believe we will meet again, In another place and time far from here. I will struggle through until the day I see you and my wounds are healed. I still have that belief, that faith. I won't let it go. I won't let you go. I can't. The End. Other Stories by me: The Path not Taken Into Starlight Dreams to Remember