From: Lindiwe Ngwevela Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 12:56:14 -0700 (PDT) Subject: Caught In A Lite High Series Source: direct Caught in a Lite High I Author: Lindi Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: None. Keywords: Angst. Reyes/Doggett Friendship. Summary: Monica is doing cocaine; can Doggett save her in time? Disclaimer: These people aren't really mine. Just using them for my own sick, twisted pleasure. They really belong to CC and the whole 1013 crew. Feedback: Please. Lindi_Ngw21@yahoo.com Author note: This is like, the fourth fanfic I've written, but only the second one to submit. Monica Needs Help is only the first of a series called "Caught in a Lite High" This series involves each of the protagonists doing some kind of drug and going through some crisis. I'm not going to give anything away but, you must know that Mulder, Scully, Doggett and Reyes pay the consequences in different ways. Author warning: If the use of drugs, specifically cocaine, offends you, turn back NOW! Monica Needs Help The morning light gets brighter and brighter as Monica slowly opens her eyes. Her head is throbbing and for a moment she doesn't remember where she is and begins to panic. As she climbs off of the couch, she is suddenly brought back to reality by the ringing of the phone. She stumbles around the place before she finally reaches the phone. "John?" Her voice is raspy. "Yeah, how'd you know?" Asks the voice on the other side. "Never mind about that. Where have you been all morning?" He asks, almost sounding frustrated at her. "What, what time is it?" "It's 11:15 a.m." He replies. "Monica, are you feeling alright?" "I, uh, I think I'm coming down with the flu or something. No biggie." She replies. "Oh, then why didn't you call in sick earlier?" "I, guess I overslept. I sleep a lot when I'm sick." "Oh, do you want me to come by later?" He asks. "Bring you some chicken soup or something?" "NO!" She says. "I mean, I get very contagious, and the last thing we need is two agents out sick." "True, but would it be okay if I called you again later, just to check on you?" "Yes, that...that would be fine. Before he hangs up, John says, "Hey Mon, you get better, okay?" "Yeah, I will." Monica hangs up immediately. After hanging up, Monica walks into her bathroom where she proceeds to rinse her mouth out in preparation to brush her teeth. Her head continues to throb as she thinks to herself. 'God, I need something to eat.' Her stomach hurts like hell. She's been like this for a while now. Dazed and nauseous. And she's been taking a lot of sick days too. John says that she should see a doctor but she refuses to do anything of the sort. She knows exactly what's bothering her. After brushing her teeth, Monica moves into her bedroom and finds it safe to collapse on her bed. 'How did I end up like this?' She asks herself as she breathes out deeply and loudly. She gets up from bed at walks to the dresser-drawer where she opens the bottom drawer. She digs through the meticulously place plastic bags and beneath them, she finds one little brown, glass vial. At this point, the vial is only half-filled with a white substance. She opens the vial and fumbles around the top of the dresser. When she finds her car keys, she scoops a bit of the white powder with it. When it is steady, she slowly brings it up to her nostril and when she sees that it is set, snorts quickly. She takes a deep breath out and thinks 'Why do I do this to myself?' she repeats this action two or three more times and when she feels like she can't take anymore, violently sets the vial on top of the dresser. She can feel her headache subside. She is suddenly confronted by her reflection in the mirror and takes a long hard stare. She doesn't see anything. Only a pale and broken woman. She looks as sick as she feels. Her hair is stringy, her fingernails are bitten, drastically shorter than her fingers. Her lips are split and cut everywhere, almost bitten through. She's been doing that a lot lately. John said that it was the most unattractive thing when a woman mutilated her own body like that. She remembers how she laughed when he used the word 'mutilate'. She begins to feel her heart wretch at the image of herself. It is sickening and it makes her want to cry. She pries herself away from the mirror and stumbles into the kitchen. She opens the fridge and looks inside. Not much, she can count on one hand the amount of items inside it. Mayonnaise and left over Indian food. She hasn't been doing much eating either. First person that noticed was Skinner. He said that she would become invisible at this rate. She wants to be invisible. She grabs an energy bar from the cupboard moves into the living room couch again. Hopefully today should be a short one. Later Doggett walks into Monica's apartment to find her sleeping on the couch. Not watching where he's going, he knocks into a small table. "Oh, shhhh" he exclaims and then shuts up in fear of waking his partner. She doesn't even stir. Her apartment is very messy. There are even clothes on the floor. He walks through her living room and approaches the sleeping woman. "Monica? Monica? Monica, wake up." She stirs a bit. "John?" Her voice is messy and barely a whisper. "Hey, Mon. How 'ya feelin?" Monica groans a long groan. "Oh my god...What time is it?" She asks. "Monica, it's 4:30." He says. "P.M.?" "Yeah. Hey Mon, are you feelin' all right?" She rises from the couch. "Yeah, yeah, just a bit dazed. That's all." "You don't look so hot." Says John. "I think you need to see a doctor." "John, we've been through this before, I'm fine, really, and I don't need to see a doctor." "Monica, you've been like this for months now, what going on?" "Nothing, just feeling under the weather, I guess." She replies. "I know you're lying. 'Under the weather' is for 24 hours, not six months." He says. "John, please, just...don't worry about it. I can take care of myself." She starts to make a face "Don't you trust me?" "Monica, I trust you. It's just your judgment I don't trust." He tries to let out a smile. "Well, trust me and my judgment. I'm really okay." She tries to smile as well. The Next Day Monica walks into the basement office to find a hard working Scully going through slides in small box. "Good morning, Dana." She says. "Hey! How are you feeling? John says you were sick yesterday." "Yeah, but I'm feeling a lot better now." Monica lies. "That's good." Dana replies, still scrutinizing the slides. Monica walks over to the desk and puts her things down still looking at Dana. Almost as if she's trying to will her into not looking at her. "So, what are you looking at?" Asks Monica. "I'm looking for any old cases that might relate to our current one." "We have a new case?" "Yeah, well. Almost." "What do you mean 'almost'?" Monica asks. "Well," Scully sighs. "John wanted me to check out this case for him, see if we had anything in the ole' archive to help him out." "Oh. What's the case?" "A series of mysterious disappearances of livestock in the mid-west. Farmers and ranchers in Utah, Colorado and Kansas, in that order, have been filing reports of missing farm animals." Monica opens the drawer in Scully's desk and pulls out a map of the USA and traces out the locations in the order in which they were said. "He's moving from the west, to the east in a line. Chances are the next locations will be Missouri, Illinois, Indiana and Ohio." "You're right." Dana says, a little bit amazed. "But you realize there isn't really anything we can do about it now. It's not our case." "Then why are you....?" "John wanted some help, he didn't know whether he should take the case or not." "Oh. Where is he, he should've been here five minutes ago?" "Yeah, he had some things to take care of, he'll be right here." "What kind of things?" Asks Monica. "He wouldn't say." Dana replies. Just then, John bursts in as if he is being chased by the police or monsters. "Monica, Agent Scully, good morning." "Hey, John." "Good morning, Agent Doggett." Says Scully "Hey, what's the rush? You look a bit...flustered." "Oh, no rush. Just wanted to....get to work." Both women can tell that he's lying...and terribly. Scully, able to tell that there is something the two of them want to discuss, decides to dismiss herself from the room. "I'll be in the bathroom." John and Monica stand in silence for a while, hoping that the other will break the tension. John finally speaks up. "So, Monica, you feelin' better? You didn't look so good yesterday." "Yeah, I wasn't feeling so good, but...I'm better now." "Monica, I'm really worried about you. You seem to be sick more often lately. You really should do something about it." "John, you're over reacting. I'm fine. I don't need a doctor." "What if this is more serious than you treat it? What if it's something really bad? Then what are you going to do?" "I'll survive, John. I'm not terminal." "Monica, I really advise going to get a professional opinion. It won't hurt to just get checked out. If you're fine, then, it'll only make me feel better. If you're not, then you can get help." "I don't need help!" "Then why are you so afraid of going to a goddamn doctor?" John's voice rises so loud, Monica even whimpers at it. But when he saw how afraid she looked, he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Later It's 6:00 pm John and Dana are still in the office. Monica had gone home about ten minutes ago. John settles on a chair right next to Scully, straddling it. He's seems awfully meditative. "Scully, can I ask you ask you a question?" "Sure, what is it?" "Monica, she's really scaring me, here." Scully puts down the paper she was reading. "How so?" "Haven't you noticed how she's been out sick a lot lately? I almost never see her outside the office, and when she does come, she's always...not here. Quite frankly that scares me." He says. "Well. There could be a number of reasons why she could be absent all the time. But I must agree with you, that it is strange that she won't tell us why. Has she seen a doctor?" "She absolutely refuses to do that. I've asked her a million times and every time she says she doesn't need one." "That is certainly strange. But you know Monica, she very stubborn like that." "True. But what am I going to do? I don't want anything bad to happen to her." "Do you want me to talk to her?" "No, you don't have to, she won't listen to anyone. I don't know what to do." "Just give her some time." "Okay." He replies, letting out an exhausted sigh. Three Weeks Later It is mid-morning and John stands waiting in the elevator to Monica's apartment. She hadn't showed up at work today and he was concerned. He wants to see that she's ok, maybe cheer her up with chicken noodle soup. This is the third time, this week, that she's missed work again. He's really worried about her. The elevator lands on Monica's floor and the door opens. He steps out and approaches her apartment. He takes a moment before he knocks on the door. No response. He knocks again. After about a minute of knocking he decides to try and jiggle the doorknob. It's opened. He walks inside to be greeted by a huge mess. "Jesus." He mutters under his breath. "Hey Monica!" He calls. No answer. "Mon, you here?" Again, no response. He puts the soup on the coffee table and carefully makes his way to the bedroom and takes a good look around. The only clean part of the house so far. He looks to the dressing table and sees an intriguing little piece of evidence. A little brown vial. He walks to the dressing table, pauses and picks up the little glass vial. 'Oh my GOD!' "Monica!" He runs into the bathroom and is confronted by a sight that nearly stops his heart. Monica is lying on the floor of her bathroom in a contorted position. Her nose is bleeding as well as her lips and wrists. 'Oh my...she didn't try to...' John's confusion has the best of him. He runs to her side and lifts her head. He shakes her a bit, trying, in vain, to wake her up. When he realizes that she's no waking up, pauses to survey her wounds. Her nose is bleeding, her lips are bitten all the way through and her arms and legs are bruised. Her midsection is also bruised. John starts to think that maybe she was attacked. He picks up her limp body and takes her to his car. He puts her in the back seat and drives. He realizes that he's breaking the speed limit, but that is of no consequence to him. They arrive at the hospital and John carries her into the ER. "Somebody help!" Immediately, doctors and nurses approach quickly. "What happened to her?" Asks a random doctor. "I don't know, I think she was attacked." John replies, as they rush her away. When they are gone, he is left standing in the middle of the ER, without anything or anyone. He puts his hands to his face and sighs a deep and exhausted sigh. He pulls out his cell phone and dials for Scully. "Dana." "John?" "Yeah, it's me." "What's wrong?" She asks. "I'm here at the hospital. It's Monica." He starts. "What happened?" "I found her in her apartment. She was passed out." "John, I'm on my way." They immediately hang up. Scully shows up not even fifteen minutes later. "Scully!" She runs to him. "How is she?" She asks. "They haven't said yet." Just then, a mid-aged man in a lab coat approaches. "Did you submit a Monica Reyes in here?" He asks. "Yeah, how is she?" "I'm afraid, no well. She overdosed on cocaine." The doctor says frankly. "She's in a coma right now as we speak." "When should she be expected to come out of it?" Asks Scully. "In a couple of hours, maybe days. Maybe even weeks. We really don't know." "Well, if it was an overdose, what about all the bruises and the bleeding?" "All self-inflicted." John starts to pace a bit. "Jesus." "Can we see her?" Scully asks. "Yeah, follow me." They follow to doctor to the third floor, where Monica is. Immediately when they enter the room, John rushes to her side and the doctor leaves. "God, I'm so stupid. I should've known something was wrong." Scully comes to his side and puts her hand on his shoulder. "John, don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong." "I still feel like I could have done something." He laments. "You did. You brought her here. Without you, she could've died today." He takes Monica's hand. "I love her, Dana." "I know you do. She needs you, John. She needs you to be there for her while she goes through this. She needs all of us, but you most of all." "Well, if she needs me, she has me." He says. Later John and Monica are asleep. Monica is in the bed and John is in the chair right next to her. He's still holding her hand. She starts to stir a bit and John wakes up. She looks like she's having a bad dream. She moves and stirs and moans as if she's suffering. 'She must be suffering.' John thinks. "Monica, shhh. Don't worry. You're okay, you're safe." She starts to open her eyes slowly. "Monica?" "John? Where am I?" She asks. "You're in the hospital." "What am I doing here?" "You passed out." He replies. "Oh my god! My head hurts so much." "Understandably." "You probably know what happened, then." "Maybe, why don't you tell me what happened." "John, I'm so sorry. I never meant for anything like this to happen." She says. "I know you didn't. But how could you do this, Monica? I don't understand." "I won't make any excuses. I shouldn't have done it in the first place. I won't try to justify it either. There is no good reason." "What are we going to do?" He asks. "I want to get help, John. I need to get help." "Yeah, you do. And you will.... Monica, how did all this get started? How long has this been going on?" "It started about ten months ago. With this guy I was seeing. We had been together for two months and I guess he got me hooked. We did the stuff almost every time we were together." "Are you talking about that 'Jared' guy? He got you on this stuff?" "He never forced me or anything. It was totally my choice, but, I thought I loved him. So, I trusted him and did just about anything he wanted me to." "What happened?" "He got arrested, and I haven't seen him since. And quite frankly, I'm glad he's gone. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if he...." Her voice trails off. "Jesus, Monica." He says. "John, what are we going to tell Dana and Skinner?" "Scully knows." he replies. "Oh." Monica looks down in shame. There is a short pause before John decides to speak up. "Do you want me to wait before I call Skinner?" "No." She says, "Call him right now." "Now?" John's face contorts in confusion. "Yeah, it's better that he knows from the start." She motions as if wiping away an invisible tear. "Yeah, you're right." He takes his cell phone from his pocket and dials for Skinner. The phone rings twice before it is answered. "Skinner." "Sir, this is Agent Doggett. Something's happened.... to Monica." "What's wrong, is she all right?" "Well, she is now." He looks at Monica as if looking for her approval. She nods her head. "Doggett, tell me what happened to her." "She...she overdosed on cocaine this morning, she was passed out at home when I found her." "She overdosed on WHAT!?" Skinner's voice blew up on the telephone receiver. "Yeah, you heard right." "Doggett, I'm coming over there right now, I need to talk to the both of you." "Sir, it's really not..." And the line goes dead. "How did it go?" Asks a clueless Monica. "He's coming down here. He says he has to talk to us." "I guess he didn't take it so well, then." Later Skinner walks into the room, brow furrowed and face red. "Agent Reyes, would you care to explain what happened here?" "John could you excuse us?" She politely asks Doggett. "Sure." John walks to the door and pauses in front of Skinner to regard him. When he is gone, Monica starts to speak. "Sir, this morning, I overdosed." "On what, exactly?" He asks. "Cocaine....I know what you're going to say!" She stops his protest before it even starts. "And it isn't something I don't already know and ask myself everyday." "Monica, what happened? I never thought that you of all people would do something so stupid." "You're not making me feel any better." "I know, I'm sorry. I don't want to make you feel bad." "If you're gonna fire me, go ahead." "I'm not going to fire you. I respect you too much. And you have too much potential." This makes Monica smile a bit. "I'm going to give you six months leave in which you will go to rehab and therapy. I expect a full recovery by the time you start working. I also expect that therapy will continue when you resume working. Can I trust you to do this, Monica?" She nods "I will, Sir." Just then, John and Scully walk into the room. "Are we interrupting something?" Asks Scully. "No, we were just finished." Skinner says, looking as uptight as he always does. "I was wondering if I could talk to Agent Reyes alone." Scully requests. "Sure, no problem." The two men exit the room and Scully approaches Monica, sitting next to her on her bed before speaking. "Monica, you really had us going there, especially John." "Scully, I'm not proud of what I did, and what resulted from it. I'm especially not proud of the fact that I hurt you and John and myself. I am, however, willing to fix all of that because I realize what it has done to me...and my career." "Well, that was definitely riveting." "You don't believe me?" "I do believe you." "Then why are you making fun of me?" "I'm not." Scully gets up from the bed and paces a bit. "Monica, this is the last thing I could've ever expected from you." "Dana, stop. You're not saying anything I haven't already heard. And Dana, I don't want to sound stubborn but..." "You are stubborn." There is a moment of silence before Monica's anger gets the best of her. "To tell you the truth, stubbornness was not what got me into this to begin with. It was lack of it that got me into this. You wanna know the whole story, Scully? Okay, here it is; a guy I was dating, Jared, he got me into this. I though he was the best thing to happen to me, until he completely fucked me over. I did the stuff because I was afraid of losing him, so I put my principles and ethics aside, and did the stuff." "And what happened to him?" Asks a curios Scully. "He got caught trying to smuggle cocaine into the country from Peru and I haven't seen him since." "Men, the root of all evil." Scully says, trying to lighten the mood. She comes back to the bed and sits beside Monica. "Monica," She takes her hand between both of hers "I still respect you and I still believe in you and your potential. And I'm sure that Doggett and Skinner do as well, but I don't want to see all of that go down the drain. I mean, look at you. You're smart, funny, you're open minded, sometimes too open minded..." Reyes laughs at Scully's humorous honesty. "But Monica, really, I'm here for you. I'm not going to give you a handshake and wish you the best of luck. And you know John will always be there for you." "I know, and I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. I owe him my life and more." Meanwhile Doggett is standing against the wall outside the hospital room with his head turned upwards and his hands in his pockets. "Why didn't I see this coming? How come I didn't realize something was up?" "None of us saw this coming." Skinner replies. "Yeah, but I'm her partner. I see her on a regular basis. I went to her house when she said she was sick. I saw her. I mean, I should have seen it!" There is some pause of silence and contemplation before Doggett speaks again. "Skinner, this woman is my partner, my friend. If something happened to her today...." "I understand." Skinner says, head bowed... Another awkward silence as Skinner gathers his nerve and asks, "Doggett, what exactly is going on between you and Reyes?" "What do you mean?" "I mean, I have the feeling that you and Monica are more than just partners at the Bureau. Is there something going on that I should know about?" "She's my friend, sir. Nothing more." "That better be all that she is." Skinner looks up to the fluorescent lighting, unable to look at anything else. A Week Later John is standing in the middle of Monica's apartment while she packs the last of her things in the bedroom. She comes out with a roll-around suitcase, wearing denim shorts and a tank-top. She looks like a teenager going to summer camp. "You ready?" He asks. "Yeah, just one sec." She realizes she's missing something. "Okay." John says as she hops into the bedroom. Seconds later she hops out again with what looks like a disposable camera. "Monica, what's that things for?" "Well I was thinking, 'people take pictures of interesting moments in there lives and so, this is definitely gonna interesting. So why not take pictures?' It seems to make sense, no?" "Whatever floats your boat." He says, taking her suitcase. As they leave the apartment, Monica pauses, as if to take one last look. "John? Want to....do you want to take the first picture with me?" She asks, a little bit shyly. "Sure." He lets go of the suitcase and stands close to Monica. She places the camera in front of them, and in a moment, she freezes time as the flash goes off. END What can I improve? What did I do right? Let me know!