From: Aqualegia@aol.com Date: Sun, 3 Jan 1999 09:04:17 EST Subject: New: Chameleon (06/13) M/K NC-17 TITLE: Chameleon (06/13) AUTHOR: Tevan DATE: Dec 1998 E-MAIL ADRESS: jtp@artos.prestel.co.uk Disclaimer etc. in part 1 =-=-=-=-= The rest of the day passed in a haze of cuddling and sleeping. When Mulder finally opened his eyes and looked bleary about he noted with shock that the sun was setting and the cabin was starting to grow cold and dark. The urge to use the bathroom drove him from the bed. He quietly slipped out very aware of the handsome young man who was still sleeping deeply beside him. He knew that Krycek needed the sleep and that the last few days had exhausted him. Now he was fully awake, Mulder realised that he was cold and hungry, so he restarted the fire and got it blazing, allowing the heat to permeate the cabin before he detoured to the kitchen and began to toss together the makings of a meal. Checking the cupboards he pulled out a large tin of soup, and decided that sandwiches and soup was the order of the day. As he worked he let his mind drift back over the very pleasant day that he had spent snuggling with his lover, Krycek had indeed turned out to be a very surprising bundle of fun and energy. Once Mulder had awoken to find the other man descending upon his ridged staff, his lips curling about the member with an ease that drove Mulder off the edge. Then they had spent a pleasant few minutes kissing, until Krycek had admitted defeat and slipped back into sleep. Mulder stopped, letting the word flow over him again. Alex Krycek was his lover. He smiled to himself, then shaking off the momentary stasis he continued with preparing the meal. As he worked he thought about what they were going to do. He was not under any illusions, neither Skinner, nor his partner Scully, were going to be very forgiving, and he could just see their expressions when he informed them that he was in love with their number one suspect. He took a steadying breath and, pushing those thoughts from his mind, he concentrated on making the sandwiches. There was little he could do about the matter until he had spoken more fully with Krycek, so there was not much use in worrying about the it. Alex's words had been true in one respect, they had these few days, and Mulder was not going to squander them by worrying about their future just yet. Suddenly there came a cry of such terror from the bedroom, that Mulder was through the door with his gun drawn before he even registered the fact that he had left the kitchen area of the cabin. As he flicked the light on Mulder knew a few seconds of intense of fear when he saw that the bed was empty. A whimpering sound attracted his attention, and he spied his lover crouching over in the far corner, trying to make himself as small as possible and it looked like he was attempting to burrow into the wall of the cabin itself. Seeing that the danger had come to his lover in the form of a nightmare, Mulder carefully placed the gun down, and headed towards Krycek, who was still shivering and whimpering, holding his arm out as if to ward off an attacker. "Krycek," Mulder began, "Alex... baby..." he repeated when he didn't get a reply. The other man just cried out and tried to dig himself deeper into the cabin floor. Mulder, unable to stand the sounds of suffering that his lover was issuing, made a grab for him, and held him while he weakly fought against the embrace. All the while Mulder murmured that he was there, that nothing was ever going to hurt Alex again and that he loved him. Some of his words must have penetrated the fear that surrounded Alex because he slowly began to calm down, his breathing no longer coming in ragged breaths as he fought some unseen force. Finally he lay quiet, panting shallowly as he fought to get his breathing under control. He wrapped his arms about Mulder and held on as if his very life depended upon their contact, unheeding the pain to his injury this action caused, he needed to be in contact with his lover more, as he begged, "Don't leave me... please don't leave me." He began to chant as he tried to move closer to the Agent. Mulder raised his hand and pressed Krycek's sweat covered forehead to his lips and kissed him saying, "Never... never... they won't ever get the chance to hurt you again, I swear they won't." Mulder was surprised to feel tears in his own eyes as he made the promise, and he finally admitted to himself that if they ever did get their hands on the man in his arms, it would only be because he, Fox Mulder, was no longer alive to prevent it. After several more minutes, Krycek began to struggle out of the too tight embrace, saying, "He shut me in that damn silo with it Fox... he left me there to die." Mulder could hear the unshed tears that trembled in his lover's voice and it made him weep inside to hear such pain. "Who?" Mulder asked, "Who shut you in the silo Alex?" While he had a fairly good idea whom Krycek was talking about, he knew that it would be better for Alex to get his fears out into the open. "Cancerman... once he had the data tape from that damn alien... he just... he just left me there to die." Mulder closed his eyes and held the other man tighter against his chest, as he asked, "How did you escape?" The body in his arms froze, all movement stopped including the breathing, until finally Mulder had to open his own eyes and look down at the man he held so tightly. "You knew." Krycek accused his eyes flashing with anger and a ripple of betrayal. "You knew!!" Mulder closed his eyes as he hurried on to explain, "Only that you were taken over by the alien in Hong Kong... but that was not until later... much later... I thought that you were dead," he confessed, surprised to hear his own pain at his confession. "Why didn't you say something?" Krycek demanded, pushing the other man away slightly, his anger giving him the energy to force his fear aside. Waking up in the darkened bedroom had reminded him too much of his days spent in the silo and he had reacted to the nightmare before he could stop himself. But now, now that he had something more immediate to concentrate on he was able to drag some semblance of sanity back into his life in the form of anger towards his lover, at what he perceived as a betrayal. "Why didn't you?" Mulder shot back, in the age-old argument of lovers. "Why didn't you?" he repeated again, this time slower, showing that he really, wanted to understand why Krycek had kept that piece of information from him. Krycek saw the truth behind the other's words and he bit his bottom lip, unable to meet Mulder's intense look as he finally confessed, "I... I didn't think that you would believe me... I mean... me." He let out a small shattered bark of laughter, "Me being possessed by aliens...." He ended with a sob and reaching up, rubbed at the tears that had fallen during his flashback to the silo. "God I hate this... this feeling that crawls over me, when I... when I..." he stopped looking up at Mulder, as if only his ex-partner could say the words that would take his pain away. To Mulder he looked like a six-year- old going on thirty, with his grubby, tear stained face, and pleading expression. It was an image that Mulder was unable to resist, no-one should have eyelashes that long and reaching out he gently wiped at the wet trail saying, "Tell me about it Alex... tell me about it now.. it will help... I promise you." It wasn't a demand, but an offer to help, an offer that Krycek was unable to resist. He began to speak, slowly at first as he tried to remember exactly what had happened, "I don't really remember much after I walked into the men's bathroom at Hong Kong airport, just that suddenly there was a woman standing beside me, and before I could react she'd.... she'd" he searched for the right words and ended up saying weakly, "zapped me... and the next real memory I have was of kneeling over this... this thing and... and vomiting up my soul, man it was... it was everywhere... this stuff... it was like oil and was in my eyes, nose... mouth... skin... pores... I couldn't breathe.. I honestly thought that I was going to die there... I don't know... I don't know how much time passed..." he stopped, and allowed the other man to comfort him, accepting the gentle embrace for what it was. "I wanted to die then, when I realised where I was... when I knew that I was going to be left there... I wanted to die... it was... just like what my father use to do to me... Cancerman just left me there... just like my father... but he left me there to die..." "But you didn't." Mulder spoke softly, but firmly, wanting the other man to know that he had lived through that nightmare and survived, had in fact become stronger from his terrible ordeal. "Yes, "I lived..." Krycek conceded. He turned to look into Mulder's eyes, wanting the other man to see that he was not lying when he spoke the next words. "But I don't have the slightest idea why." "What...?" Mulder began in surprise, not sure what Alex was trying to say, but Krycek hurried on saying. "I don't remember how I survived... I mean... I knew that I was there... trapped in that hell hole with that... that thing, for how long I can't remember... I must have finally passed out or something... 'cause the next thing I remember... I was out of there... just laying on the ground, out in the open... there was water nearby, and I managed to stagger to a farmhouse that was not too far away... they were good people and took me in...." He stopped and rubbed at his tired face. "I don't know why they didn't call the police or just turn me in... I mean I really, really looked a mess... that oil... it was like a thin coating over my whole body... it took three straight baths just to get it damn stuff of me...." "Can you remember their names?" Mulder asked, then seeing the confused look this earned him he continued, "The people who lived in the farmhouse... can you remember their names." "No." Alex slowly shook his head, as if this was the first time he had thought about that particular question. "I never asked them and they never said... To be honest, I didn't want to know. What I didn't know I couldn't tell if the Smoker got hold of me again, he wouldn't want to leave any live witnesses. I just stayed with them for about a week... I was out of it for pretty much most of it, then he drove me to the local town and paid for a bus ticket for me..." Mulder, feeling the body under his hands begin to shake again, gently shushed the other man, and pulled him back into a firm embrace. "Look, judging from the smell coming from the kitchen, I think the soup I put on has got to be completely burnt, but I can always put some more on... why don't you come and sit on the couch while I get us something to eat." Krycek slowly nodded, understanding that Mulder was trying to put some space between his nightmare and his confession. It was still too raw a wound to be properly explored just yet. When he was feeling stronger, they could discuss it again. As Mulder helped Alex to stand, Krycek reached out and grabbed the other's arm preventing him from moving as he said, "I never meant to lie to you Fox... it's just that... well, remembering..." Mulder stopped, and taking the hand he offered, "That's in the past... all I ask is that you don't ever lie to me in the future... that's the only promise I want from you now Alex... don't lie to me again...ever." Krycek swallowed hard at the determination that he saw in Mulder's eyes and knew that to lie to this man would be to lose him, and he swore to himself that that was something he didn't ever want to happen. "I won't," he agreed as he allowed Mulder to help him up. He swayed for a few moments until a reassuring, steady arm was placed about his waist and he was helped out, then carefully deposited on the couch, with a blanket draped over him. As he has suspected, Mulder could see clouds of steam rising from the saucepan on the stove and thought he would probably have to buy another set of pans for the cabin. After he was sure that Krycek was settled he rushed to the pan and grabbing up a cloth he threw the whole steaming lot into the sink, then he proceeded to open the front door and a window to allow for the smell to escape the cabin. "I get the overwhelming feeling that I'm going to be the cook in this relationship." Krycek said with a smile from the couch, as he watched Mulder delve into the cupboard and pull out another large can, before snatching up the tin opener. "You can cook?" Mulder asked, pausing in his surprise, and unable to hide the hopeful look that had entered his eyes, as this unexpected bonus from his lover. "Yes... it's a hobby of mine." Mulder looked at the can, then back at his lover. Then plastering a smile across his face he replied warmly, "This relationship thing just keeps getting better and better." "Arrr man." Krycek grumbled good-naturedly, as the nightmare began to fade in the light of their banter, "And I thought it was my body that you were after." Mulder bit back another smile, as he retorted evilly, "That's what I'm planing on having for desert most evenings." Krycek laughed. "In that case we'd better order the whipped cream by the case load" Mulder opened his mouth to answer, then snapped it shut. He knew that if they continued this particular conversation then neither of them would get round to eating food and another saucepan would be ruined, so he wisely keep his own counsel. Krycek seeing the look that entered his lover's eyes just leant his head back on the couch and smiled. While he was still feeling shaky from his nightmare, and weak from the effects of his injury, he knew that once dinner had been eaten they would not be talking about aliens. They would be making some inroads in some explorations of their own, and the only X file involved in it would be the X at the end of seX. He let another smile slip onto his face as he considered passing that little titbit onto his lover. =-=-=-=-= End (06/13) Chameleon (07/13) M/K NC-17 TITLE: Chameleon (07/13) AUTHOR: Tevan DATE: Dec 1998 E-MAIL ADRESS: jtp@artos.prestel.co.uk Disclaimer etc. in part 1 =-=-=-=-= It was the sound of the birds, crying out once again to welcome the new day that awoke Mulder the next morning. Glancing at the clock on the bedside stand, he let his head fall back on the pillow when he saw that it was only 17 after 6. He shifted slightly, turning on his side to look at his lover. Krycek was still deeply asleep, one of his arms had sneaked across Mulder's body during the night, and the Agent now reached down to hold it more secure across his stomach. It felt natural to wake up with this man sleeping beside him. He closed his eyes and drifted, and when he next awoke it was just after nine. With a sigh of resignation he made to pull back the covers, but a tightening of the arm across him prevented him from doing so. Glancing down he looked right into Krycek smiling features. "Good Morning." Alex murmured, his voice low and sexy. Mulder swallowed hard as he felt himself rise to the occasion. "Good Morning to you," he replied, slipping over to plant a kiss upon the welcoming lips. It was only meant to be a touching of lips, but Krycek had other plans and the next twenty minutes were taken over by another intense love session, leaving both men sated and breathing heavily. They both drifted again, this time each lightly petting the other's upper body. Finally Mulder spoke, hating to break the companionably silence, "Alex, we're going to have to talk about where we go from here." Mulder felt Alex tense up, but continued to gently draw small circles up and down the other man's back. Finally, in an attempt to lighten the mood Krycek answered, "Well, gauging from our er... state I would have thought the shower was the next logical progression." "And after?" Mulder asked, with a lazy smile. "Then the kitchen... food... I definitely need sustenance... you're wearing me out Mulder... do you know that?" "It's my pleasure," Mulder replied tenderly before asking again, "And then?" Krycek let out a sigh of his own and continued, "And then, after we've been washed, dressed and fed, I guess it'll be time to contact Skinner and see what kind of a deal he can offer." "I want to stay with you Alex... whatever the deal is, we will be together." Krycek squeezed the body slightly under him and offered, "You know you can't do that.... Not if you want to catch these bastards...." Mulder opened his mouth as if to protest, but Krycek reached out a gentle hand and laid it carefully across the full lips, preventing him from answering and speaking instead, "They will place me in the deepest possible hole and only bring me out to testify.... We both know how it works and," he stopped again, the words not easy for him. "And we both know that it's for the best... If they knew that they could get to me though you..." The hand slipped from Mulder's lips to his cheek, it was a tender, loving caress, "You would never be safe, and I would willingly give up my life to ensure your safety... you know that?" Mulder raised his hand and gently placed it over the other's. Looking deep into the green eyes he answered honestly, "As would I. But..." he added, and this time his look prevented Krycek from butting in, "I am not willing to lose you either... I have... I have...." He stopped, angry at himself at not being able to put into words the emotions that he was feeling, taking a deep breath, removing and clasping the hand that rested upon his face within his two he spoke slowly, determined to make his lover understand. "I have lost everyone... everyone I ever loved, lost them to those bastards... but I will not lose you... I couldn't survive that... please understand that.... If you learn nothing else about me, know that now that I've found you I am never, ever, going to let you go. Not unless..." He paused his own fears coming to the fore, "Not unless you don't want me..." he trailed off letting his words hang, desperately waiting for an answer, but too terrified to ask. Krycek saw the hidden pain, insecurity and rushed to reassure his lover, hating to see that pain within the other's handsome face. "From the first time I saw you, I knew that I was attracted to you... and all that bull I told you... when we first met... it wasn't a lie you know. You were... are a legend at Quantico, and I was so proud to be working with you... Once I got to know you... saw your dedication... I just knew...." Alex suddenly looked away. "I don't know why this is so hard for me to say, but I really want you to understand why I did what I did, and why I'm not lying now...." He looked back at Mulder and there was a pleading look to be believed in his eyes as he continued, "You see.... Why is this so difficult to put into words? My original job was just to watch you... to keep track of you, point you in the odd wrong direction and, above all, to keep you safe... I started off telling myself that I was only doing my job and ended up knowing that I was doing it because I loved you...." Mulder felt the moment grow, and knew that mere words were not going to be able to fully express their feelings for each other. Their fears, hopes... only a lifetime of living together would be able to do that, and that was the reason why Mulder was prepared to give up so much of his other beliefs to be with this man. Seeing the question in Krycek's eyes he smiled warmly, and leaning forward he kissed the lips that melted under his before saying, "I will never regret loving you, nor will I regret remaining by your side... you are the other half of my soul..." he smiled wryly at the words. He knew that he sounded like a cheap dime store novel, but, for once in his life the words felt right and they needed to be said. So he kissed the lips again before continuing, "Get used to seeing me standing behind you in the bathroom every morning when you shave, and I'll be the last thing you see before you fall asleep at night." Krycek smiled, then planting his own kiss in return, said, "Behind my while a shave... why Mulder, I didn't know you have a kinky steak..." "You'd better believe it baby." Before Mulder could continue with his attack on his lover's lips, Krycek's stomach rumbled loudly. Knowing when he was beaten, Mulder gave him one last kiss and climbed from the bed. Krycek groaned, and moving slowly, followed him. They talked of little things while breakfast was prepared, stealing and planting kisses, pats and caresses, it was as if they had been lovers for years instead of days. They fitted together so perfectly, that words seemed superfluous, as they reached and passed items without the need to ask for them. The meal passed in companionable silence. Once they had both finished eating they headed towards the small bathroom. While Mulder showered, Krycek did an awkward face shave wondering if he could use his injury to get Fox to shave him again, then he showered while Mulder scrapped the razor over his face. Once they were finished, Mulder inspected Krycek's wound, pleased to see that it was healing well. They had just decided that a walk about the lake was in order to wash away the cobwebs from their minds, when Mulder sat up straighter and reached for his gun, "Car" he said in a voice barely above a whisper. Krycek jumped up and looked about, his expression slightly wild, he had spent so long running that it was now second nature to seek cover. Mulder seeing the expression stepped forward and rested a hand gently, but firmly on his shoulder, saying strongly, "Together... whatever happens we are in this together." Krycek felt his body relaxing and after nodding his head once, he swallowed hard and pushed his fear back as he saw the determination in his lovers eyes, could he do any less then Mulder. "What do we do?" He asked, watching as Mulder headed towards the window and peered out. A car was just pulling up next to the one outside. He frowned as he thought he recognised it, the frown slowly turned into real anger as his partner and AD Skinner climbed out of the car. Both of them looked about the site with keen interest. Without a thought, Mulder yanked open the door, stormed out of the cabin and was standing in front of his boss, his face contorted with rage. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, pushing up right into Skinner's personal space. To give Skinner his due he did not react badly to his subordinate's action, in fact he had expected it. Instead he just looked at Mulder, giving him a hard, measuring look, then stepped around him, heading towards the cabin saying instead, "I think this is a conversation that would be better off taking place inside, don't you think?" He didn't wait for an answer, but made his way into the cabin with Scully following him, and Mulder bringing up the rear, anger still radiating from him. All three paused as they spied Krycek who had moved to stand within the small kitchen area, holding up a pot of freshly brewed coffee. He smiled somewhat shakily, then asked, in a forced over-friendly tone, "Anyone for coffee?" Skinner hesitated a moment in shock, then seemingly pushing whatever emotions he felt to one side, he continued into the room removing his coat as he said, "I'll have mine black, no sugar." Krycek poured the coffee, before moving over to hand it carefully to the man he had brutally beaten up only a few months previously, then heading back he asked, "Scully?" "The same," she replied, while throwing Mulder a confused look, "Please.. black... no sugar." "My you two have gotten so... so healthy since we last met." It was meant to lighten the atmosphere, but it fell disastrously short and an awkward silence filled the room, while he fidgeted about getting Scully, Mulder and himself a coffee. Once all four were seated, Skinner and Scully on one side living room and Mulder, Krycek on the other, Mulder demanded, "You said I had five days... it's only been..." "The five day agreement was on the understanding that you kept in touch with Scully... you didn't do that... so here we are." Skinner's tone didn't hold a hint of apology, and Mulder knew from experience that it would do not good to argue with the man, so instead he turned to his partner. "How did you find us?" Scully shot Skinner a quick look, and he nodded slightly, indicating that she should explain to them, "We were able to trace your cell phone... it took some time, but you left it on yesterday... and well, we got the general area before the battery failed..." "So you both just thought you'd drop in and say hi... and allowed god knows who to follow you..." throwing Krycek a quick concerned looked, Mulder made to stand ordering, "Get your stuff Alex... we're out of here." "Not so fast Agent Mulder." Skinner snapped angrily at his subordinate, "We were not followed.... I made sure of that... and you are not going anywhere, least ways not with Alex Krycek, who, if you can remember, is a wanted man." "Wanted..."Mulder asked, his tone one of surprise, "Wanted by whom and for what?" he questioned innocently. "Mulder." Scully asked, her tone one of shocked surprised, and unable to keep quiet any longer, "You know that Krycek is wanted by both the FBI and the local police for questioning." She shot the man in question a hard look before she finished, "For a number of criminal offences." Mulder stood up again and frowned down at his partner. He was not happy to see either of them here, but he was not going to let them win easily, so he spoke in a measured tone, "I've been doing some thinking about that. I mean, to my knowledge Alex has not actually been accused of committing any illegal offences." "He stole the Data tape," Skinner snarled, anger flaring across his face as he remembered the beating he had received at the hands of the man who was now sitting so innocently sipping his coffee. While he appeared relaxed, Skinner could see the tension that radiated from the man, he might appear totally at ease, but the AD was convinced that he could leap into violent action at the drop of a hat. "And I'm sure the American people would love to hear my testimony on that little subject." Krycek slipped into the conversation, his tone was calm and his eyes were chips of ice. "You attacked me," Skinner insisted, his face reflecting his anger. "And of course... you reported that as soon as you were able?" Both Alex and Skinner knew that he had not done so as Krycek continued, "Because it's really going to look strange if you try to report it now...." All three could tell that Alex was getting a certain amount of satisfaction from the conversation, and Mulder threw him a warning look. Krycek caught the glance and controlled his own anger. Mulder stood silent for a few moments, allowing tempers to cool, before he continued, "Look, no-one here is saying that Krycek doesn't have some problems, but he also has some very valuable information. Information that we can use... and placing him behind bars won't help us... it will only make him an easier target for those who want to put him out of commission permanently." "Mulder." Scully interrupted, "you know he cannot be trusted..." Mulder threw Krycek another warning glance, when he saw the other man open his mouth to protest his innocence, saying before he could speak, "I trust him." He said it with total conviction and winced as Scully gasped and spluttered. "You trust him.... Mulder...you accused him of killing your father and now you're saying that you trust him?" "I didn't kill Mulder's father...." Krycek spat out, jumping up, hardly noticing the flash of pain that ripped across his upper chest, not that it was reflected in his features. He glared at the woman and continued, "I was there...." He saw the look of total shock swiftly followed by hurt betrayal that cross Mulder's features and groaned at the pain it caused him. He reached out and grabbed the other man's arm before he could move out of reach. "I didn't kill him... I was there to warn him... I'd heard..." he stopped trying to gather his thoughts, how could he tell in a few seconds what he had taken weeks to gather. "I'd heard... that they... they were going to do something to Mulder... I didn't know what it was... but then your father name's was mentioned, the source was reliable, and I was told that he was considered to be slightly... unstable... they didn't know which way he was going to go, and that he wanted to talk to his son." He let out a small bark of laughter, as he wiped his hand across his mouth and stated as firmly as his quivering voice allowed, "and that was not to be allowed... I... I panicked..." He swallowed hard, his Adam's apple moving as he felt a wave a nauseous sweep over him, but he forcibly pushed it aside to finish his story. "By the time I arrived, Mulder was already there... so I... I climbed in through the bathroom window... I swear I was just trying to see if I could hear what was being discussed. What your father's intentions really were...." He didn't bother to mention that if he older Mulder had shown any signs of hurting his son, then Krycek would have been the one to put the bullet in him. "Your father came into the bathroom... God I thought he was going to see me, and panic. So I hid in the bath, behind the shower curtain, until I was certain that he wouldn't." He stopped, knowing that what he was to say now would either allow him to keep Mulder's love or to lose it forever. "I'd just made myself known to him, and had stepped out of the shower, when the shot came from behind me... through the bathroom window... it caught your father just as he was turning... I am so sorry Fox..." he felt tears swell as he mumbled, forcing the words out, "I... I don't know if the shot was meant for me or your father..." Alex shot the other two a look and wished the Mulder and himself could have had this conversation at some other time, and not before these two particular witnesses. "You were there?" Mulder asked, his voice indicating that he was having a hard time analysing what Alex had just told him. He moved out of Krycek's grasping reach, his face twisting as he realised that what he had feared had become reality. "When my father was shot... you were there... I thought..." he stopped unable to go on, his throat tight. Krycek seeing the expression that now rested upon his lover's face, backed away, his own heart breaking, "I'm sorry..." he spluttered, then the intensity of the moment caught up with him and he rushed into the bathroom. As the door slammed behind him all three people could hear him throwing up. Silence filled the cabin for several minutes after the sounds had ceased, until finally Scully stood and offered, "I'd better got check on him." "The window's too small... he can't get out," Mulder replied, cold, calculating, an Agent once more watching his prisoner, his mind still occupied by the story that Krycek had told. Scully looked confused for a few moments then her face cleared as she said, "I wasn't concerned about that Mulder... but he looked pretty rough before he rushed in there." Mulder watched Scully as she moved to the door, knocked quietly before opening it and entering. As the door closed behind her, Mulder turned back to Skinner and stated, "I still trust him." Scully's actions had allowed him to gather himself, and he knew that he had reacted badly. The shock had prevented him from thinking as rationally as he would have wished. Now he had hurt his lover again, after all their brave words of that morning, he had again thought evil of the man he professed to love. "You trust him?" Skinner enquired, not sure that he liked the niggling suspicion he was starting to form about his younger agent, "But do you believe him?" Mulder needed to do something, needed to give himself some time and space before he answered that particular question. He headed towards the kitchen and prepared another pot of coffee. Skinner watched him work for a few moments before he stood and moved closer, "You know he can't be trusted... no matter what he tells you, you'll never believe him... he's told so many lies... and can you ever forget that he worked for Cancerman once.... What's to stop him from turning traitor again?" Mulder slammed down his coffee cup and snarled, "That's where you're wrong. You can't trust him or believe him because you've walked the same pathway as he has... You've sold part of your soul to Cancerman, just as he did." "I never..." Skinner began, his own anger flaring, but Mulder interrupted, not allowing rational thought to enter into the conversation as he battled his own internal devils. "Krycek was used, sir. They got to him when he was in the academy, playing upon his patriotism as a first generation American. He didn't stand a chance. Do I believe him when he tells me that he had come to warn my father when he was shot, and that he didn't pull the trigger?" He stopped, unable to prevent the shaking that threatened to overtake him, and took a deep, steadying, breath. Looking up he met Skinner's eyes so that the AD could see that Mulder was not lying., "Yes... I do... I believe that he didn't kill my father..." Mulder's eyes slipped closed as he finished, "And I also believe him when he says that the bullet might have been meant for him..." "Mulder.." Scully's voice cut across the tension that controlled the room and the two angry men in it, "I really think Krycek needs to lay down... he... he's going into shock..." Mulder was across the room and in the bathroom before she had finished, and he could tell at once that she was right. Krycek lay half leaning up against the toilet and half against the wall, he was almost wedged into the small gap between the wall and the toilet bowl. He had lent his head back, exposing his throat and he looked deathly pale, sweat beading his face and he was still swallowing convulsively. A heavy smell of vomit hung about the room. "Krycek," Mulder began, then seeing that he wasn't getting any response he leant nearer and snapped, "Alex.." This got the other man to open his eyes, but what he saw there almost caused him to gasp out in pain. Krycek was tormented, he knew what he had lost, and it was tearing his soul apart and Mulder could see it all reflected in his eyes. The pain was too much and Mulder had to answer it. He reached down and gently, carefully, tilted the head towards him, reaching forward he laid a small line of kisses across the brow and down the cheek to rest for a moment over the lips. "I believe you... I believe you, and I love you." It was only ten words, and yet to Krycek it stopped his world from melting about him. His eyes snapped opened, a new fire of hope burning in them, as he searched his lover's face, looking for any sign of subterfuge, and finding none. "We will talk about it later... and you can explain it all to me. Everything..." Mulder continued, glad to see the look of sanity return to Alex's eyes. How much this man had lost, and how much he feared losing what remained, had just become very clear to Mulder. If he turned from Alex now he was convinced that the man would not survive the night, "But not now, now I need you to get up from there and come and lay down... Please." Krycek didn't want to move, he felt as if he could stay there, next to the toilet, for the rest of his life. His shoulder and arm hurt, his back was sore, and his throat raw. He had cried as he threw up, too distressed to care, and knew that he looked a mess, and yet Mulder still loved him. Had said that he believed him, and loved him, and for that alone he would walk into fire if this man asked him. So he struggled to stand, accepting the eager assistance that Mulder offered, and when he would have tilted back towards earth upon standing, it was Mulder's strong arm that sneaked about his waist to hold him upright, and solicitously helped him walk into the bedroom. Scully hurried ahead and pulled the sheets back and then left her partner to firmly tuck them about the sick man after he'd been settled down upon the bed. Mulder fetched some water and watched while Krycek swallowed a couple of painkillers, before he said, "You just lay here and rest... I'm going to talk to the others, and Alex... I need you to trust me this time.. can you do that, with what I have to tell them?" Krycek tiredly nodded his head, he could feel sleep creeping over him and knew that he no longer had the energy to fight it. This morning he had felt like he could take on the world, but after telling Mulder about his father, he now felt as if keeping his eyes open would be the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. =-=-=-=-= End (07/13) Chameleon (08/13) M/K NC-17 TITLE: Chameleon (08/13) AUTHOR: Tevan DATE: Dec 1998 E-MAIL ADRESS: jtp@artos.prestel.co.uk Disclaimer etc. in part 1 =-=-=-=-= Mulder waited until he was certain that Krycek was deeply asleep before he left the room, he pulled the door to, but did not close it fully as he intended to listen in case Alex called for him. He stopped when he saw the two people standing before him. Scully had finished making the coffee and held out a cup for him as he moved towards them, he accepted it gratefully and took a slip before sitting down. For some reason he now felt in a better frame of mind, and he also knew that he was now fighting for both Alex's and his future, and that gave him an energy that he had not felt for such a long while. Scully started, "Skinner say's that you believe Krycek's version of your father's death?" it was a question and was accompanied by a prettily raised eyebrow. Mulder closed his eyes and considered his options, and realised that they were very few, so he opted for the truth. He glanced first at his partner, who he loved as a sister and then at his boss who he had come to respect and trust over time. "Yes I do, and before we go any further I think that I should explain... I love him." There he had said it. Skinner looked confused for several moments, as his suspicions were realised, and without it a sinking feeling hit at his stomach before he clarified weakly, "Your father..." "No..." Mulder said, taking another sip of coffee and noting how calm he sounded, especially as his own hands were shaking slightly. "Krycek... I'm in love with Alex Krycek." "Krycek... isn't this all rather sudden Mulder." Scully said, her tone that of a shocked adult rebuking a child. Mulder hated her when she used that tone. "Is it?" he questioned back, realising that he had in fact loved the other man for quite a while, he'd just never had the guts to admit it to himself until a few days ago. "Krycek," Skinner said, his face pale and his tone one of shock, although now that he thought about it, it did make a lot of sense, but he still didn't have to agree with it, "You love Krycek.... I mean this isn't some kind of sick joke or an attempt to win his trust in some way?" Mulder closed his eyes as Skinner's words and firmly shook his head, "No joke, I really love him, and I would never play that kind of game to get information... besides Alex is far too cleaver to fall for that." "I could order you to go and see the departmental shrink, you know that Mulder." Skinner snapped, still hoping that his best agent was throwing a bad joke at him, "You risk losing your job, your standing... Christ... you could be throwing everything away... everything you've worked for... he's a lying double crossing son of a bitch, who will tell you exactly what you want to hear...in or out of bed." He finished nastily. Mulder let Skinner's words wash over him, the man wasn't saying anything that he hadn't told himself over the last week or so. After Skinner had spluttered to a stop, Scully moved forward and asked sternly. "Are you sure?" He looked her deep in the eyes, his own face drawn and tired, as he slowly nodded and replied with conviction, "Yes." "I don't know Mulder... what Skinner says makes a lot of sense, you could lose everything... then Cancerman and his cronies would have won." "Don't you think I don't know that Scully." Mulder suddenly leapt up from the seat, his own face twisted with anger as he ranted, "Don't you think that hasn't been my one thought since I realised that I loved him.. but I can't forget this, or brush it under a carpet... it's happened, it's a fact and I've got to live with it. I've realised now that I fell for him the first day I met him, and when I thought that he had betrayed me...." He laughed shakily, "To paraphrase an old saying, 'Hell hath no fury like a man scorned'. I blamed him for every bad thing that happened to me." Again a tense silence filled the room as all three people contemplated the future. Until finally Skinner, sighed deeply, resigned to what Mulder had told him, he asked, "What damage control can we do." "No." Mulder began heatedly, "no damage control.. I won't give Alex up, I've lost too many people I love to this... this thing, I'm not going to lose him as well..." "No one's asking you to give Krycek up Mulder." Scully began, throwing Skinner an annoyed look. She could see that her partner was deadly serious, and while she might not fully understand it, she did realise that what he said about losing people was true. So, if he did truly love Alex, then as much as it would hurt her, she would still stand by him, and more importantly, be there if the other man betrayed him and left him to suffer. Skinner shrugged his shoulders and commented dryly, "It's a consideration, but..." He hurried on before Mulder could answer, "There has to be an alternative... a way for everyone to be happy... and by that I mean, we get the information that Krycek has, and you get Krycek." He spoke the words as if Mulder was asking for permission to keep a pet snake that he had found. Mulder had again to bite his tongue. He so wanted to argue with the other man, but he knew that getting even this far was further then he had hoped, they were at least prepared to consider them staying together and for now that was enough. "Alex has already stated that he is prepared to do anything necessary to assist us, he hates that bastard as much as we do... if not more." Mulder paused before he added, "We could try and go for a grand jury... He's willing to testify... But, once he does that, we will have to join the witness protection programme. Unfortunately, I think we could only take down Cancerman, which, while it would be personally satisfying, would not actually achieve much beyond that." "Krycek will need to be protected... once they know that he's been in contact with us, they will come after him," Scully stated, her quick mind already working on the problem. "And the attack at the warehouse... it was aimed at both of you Mulder... those men were dug in for the night... they had us pinned down and we were low on ammo. If Krycek hadn't taken one of them out, we very probably wouldn't be alive right now." She stopped, letting the implications sink in. She could tell from the expressions on the men's faces that neither like the implications. "We need to keep them both safe then," Skinner confirmed, moving to take up a seat of his own, his tall frame bending to fit into the small chair. His hopes of dragging Krycek off to some prison cell and leaving him to rot were swiftly disappearing, under the determination of his wayward agent. He swallowed the flash of jealousy that he felt and wondered at its sudden appearance. "Maybe we could get Krycek to make notes of all that he knows, and then leave it about the country, in places where they are to be opened and sent to the press if anything happens to either you or him. Use it as a deterrent," Scully said, chewing her bottom lip as she contemplated the problem. Skinner shook his head saying, "Knowing the way they work Scully, I would have to say that Krycek's information doesn't go that high... the only man he is really a danger to is Cancerman, the other's above him appear to be untouchable." "Cancerman is the only one we have to really worry about, and you're right, a grand jury won't bring down the top dogs, but it would frighten an awful lot of people, so don't dismiss it totally... Frightened men make mistakes." Krycek spoke from the doorway of the bedroom, he still looked drained, and swayed dangerously as he stood there. Mulder leapt up to steady him. "Alex," he admonished, "you should be resting." Krycek looked at Mulder, saw the concern and weakly smiled before answering, "This is our future we're discussing, and I need to be a part of it." Mulder could not argue with him, so he assisted him over to the couch, and while helping him sit down, asked, "Do you want a drink." "Please, some water would be nice." Krycek spoke, his tone low, as he refused to met the other's look. Mulder frowned, then hurried to fetch the drink. When he returned he sat down beside his lover, throwing both Skinner and Scully a defiant look. "You were saying Krycek?" Skinner asked, once the other man was settled, and had sipped from the glass. Krycek lent his head back on the seat and looked at his former boss from half closed eyes as he began to speak, "Cancerman is the only one we have to convince, he will do the rest..." "You're giving him an awful lot of power aren't you?" Scully asked, her tone enquiring. Krycek nodded, "Yes, he has a lot of pull, and his fingers are in an awful lot of pies. Also, he only tells the men above him what he wants them to know. I have some... information he would not want anyone to know about... I feel that we could use that against him." "What information?" Skinner demanded, sitting straighter in his chair. Krycek eyed the other man, not sure that he fully trusted him, but a quick glance at Mulder got him a slight nod of his head so he continued, "He now has the data tape." "We know that," Scully said, moving from behind the counter. "Yes." Krycek agreed, "You do... but they don't. He told those above him that it had been destroyed. That's why the pressure has been off me for the last few months. He expected me to die in that Silo. No-one knew I was there, I don't even know if he knows that I'm still alive or not... but the data tape retrieval was his operation... we can use that information against them, and use the fact that we know he has it against him... he won't push too hard... I'm just small fry to him, and for some reason he's been instrumental in making sure no harm comes to Mulder." "Why..." Skinner butted in, "Why has he been protecting Mulder?" Krycek paused, it was a question that he'd often asked himself, as he lay in his bed in the dark of the night, slowly he shook his head stating honestly, "I don't know. But, it is important to him. He had first Scully, then myself, placed next to Mulder to watch him and report back to him, and I was specifically told that Mulder's continual health was directly linked to my own. That was made very clear to me." He reached out, made suddenly nervous by the intense attention he was getting from all the occupants of the room, and was pleased when Mulder captured the seeking hand and clasped it tightly in his own, it gave him strength for what he was about to say. "There is only one way that we can be free of him, and the threat of the others. That...." He felt his resolve waver, but turned his look upon the man he had grown to love over the past year to give him the strength, as he continued, "And that is to confront him, and to do that I will have to met with him..." "NO." Mulder cried, turning to glare at his lover. "He will kill you where you stand, he has no reason not too, he's already tried... in the silo." "That wasn't the first time either. The morning after I, er, got the tape from Mr Skinner, I was supposed to die in a car bomb. But I noticed that the other two guys were acting strangely when they went into a store. I saw the clock on the dash flashing, and ran.... I was about 50 yards away when it exploded. A few more seconds and...." Noting the horrified expressions on his listener's faces, he smiled slightly. Skinner recovered his wits first. "What makes you think he'll listen, that he won't try again and succeed this time?" "I have Mulder on my side," Krycek replied confidently, as the plan grew in his mind. He was nothing if not a survivor, the last year had proved that, and now that he really had something to fight for, he was putting his hard learned lessons to good use. "He will listen to what I have to say, and, if we don't make it convincing enough, then he will kill me, but he will listen Mulder... that I can guarantee." "I will not allow you to take that risk," Mulder snapped storming up from the seat and walked rapidly across the room to the window, as if putting distance between them could help him cope with the threat to his lover. Unable to hide the hurt he felt that Krycek would risk himself so willingly, in a venture that he was sure would not work. Krycek looked away from the keen look of betrayal that he saw flash across his lover's face. It hurt. It hurt a lot more then he thought it would. "I have to agree with Mulder on this," Scully said, surprising both her partner and their boss. Seeing the look her words earned her, she hurried on. "Krycek is still a threat to his position, and the fact that he is still alive must be an accurate embarrassment to the Cancerman... who must have lost face by his continual survival, and why hasn't he admitted to getting the data tape back?" "Power and protection Scully, they give him power and protection over those above him, and Scully I didn't know you cared." Krycek slipped in, but retreated back a bit as she frowned at him and told him firmly. "I don't... about you... but I do care about Mulder." "Touche." Krycek mumbled under his breath as the tension in the cabin eased slightly. "Scully is right... he has no real reason to keep you alive Alex." Mulder offered, turning back to look at his lover, trying to tell him with his eyes that he was to important to lose. "It would be insane." Krycek saw and accepted the look gratefully as he smiled a warm smile of his own and offered a defence of his decision, "You know... you're all forgetting that there is a logical reason why he wants me dead, and that's because I am a threat to him... I know things that no-one else knows... and I can prove what I know... if it were to become public knowledge then nothing... nothing could prevent certain members of his own group from seeking retribution." Skinner suddenly learnt forward, his expression becoming sharp as he asked, "And this is what you would testify too?" Krycek felt a ripple of shock course through him at the other's words, but he realised that, if he wanted the two people before him to help him, then he had to give them what they wanted. "Even if the knowledge endangers your life?" he asked, annoyed with himself as he heard the slight shake of his tone. "I thought you wanted protection in return for your testimony?" Skinner snarled, feeling that Krycek was once more playing with them. "If you... want me to... I will testify, but only concerning that which directly affected me and what I saw... while working in his employ...." He shook his head, they would never truly understand what he knew, and what he could tell. There was some stuff that he'd read on the data tape that he would never tell anyone, because to breathe one word of it would mean certain death to both himself, and whomever he told. But that was information that he was keeping in reserve, he would only use it save the life of a person who meant more to him than his own life, because that is what it would cost him to use it. He looked across at Mulder, and his glance was met and held, before the Agent made his way back to the chair and sat back down, Krycek leant back and allowed the feeling of his lover's nearness to sweep over him, it gave him strength. "I will need names, dates and hard facts if I'm going to sell this to my superiors." Skinner said, calming somewhat when he saw that Krycek seemed willing to agree to testifying. Krycek nodded, "I can give you that." "My sister..." Scully began, then stopped as she swallowed hard, Krycek seeing the pain reflected upon her face hastened to answer. "You caught the man who shot her, Dana... he paid for his crime, and.." he paused not sure if he what he wanted to say would help or not, in the end he decided to speak and let her make up her own mind. "It was an accident... Cardinal reacted..." he stopped seeing the raw pain in her face. Scully felt the agony of her sister's death raise up to swallow her, and she clutched at her pain and nursed it close to her heart, as she had for so long. Slowly Krycek words sank in and she felt rage flood her as she realised what he had said, standing she pounced, "You knew... you were there...you bastard, you were there and you didn't stop it... you..." she leapt forward, and was upon the seated man before anyone could react. Krycek curled instinctively trying to protect himself as she attacked, but she managed to get in a few hard punches before Mulder hauled her off. Unfortunately she had caught him a particularly nasty blow to his injured shoulder and the world tuned out while he tried to fight against the agony this caused. When he was finally capable of opening his eyes he saw Mulder's concerned face peering down at him, asking him frantically if he was all right. He swallowed against the bile that threatened to rise again, and pushed himself up, at this rate he was never going to be able to keep a meal down, Mulder hurried to assist him. Krycek could see Scully, she was not being held firmly in Skinner's grip, but it was no longer necessary to hold her back from attacking him again. She was now curled into the taller man's hold as she cried, the embrace was firm, and the look that Skinner was giving him was one of pure hatred. "Alex." Mulder tried again, this time resting a hand under his lover's chin and tilting the face back towards him, capturing his full attention as he asked, "Are you all right?" Krycek pulled his head out of the grip and forcibly pushed the other man away as he struggled to his feet, he stood swaying for a few seconds before he moved past Mulder. He stopped a few feet away from the embracing couple and said, his own voice shaking with bitter emotions as he offered his testimony, "I tried to warn you... I called you... if you had been there when we arrived... Cardinal had orders to kill you... I didn't know your sister was going to arrive... I would have stopped him if I could... but it happened so fast... there was nothing... NOTHING... that I could have done, but I would have... if I could." He tossed Mulder a look, seeing that his words had no affect on Scully, or her grief, he bit his lip and offered to his lover. "They are right Mulder... you'd be better off without me... I'm damned in hell, and anyone who touches me gets damned as well." Then he was gone, the bedroom door closed firmly behind him, leaving the scene behind him as Alex tried to block out the hurt that was welling up inside. He had only wanted to comfort Scully, and yet she had attacked him. He had not thought his actions through, had thought that if he told her the truth, she would accept how sorry he felt for her sister death. But, once again, he had badly misjudged the situation, just like he had when he had first met Cancerman, had allowed the man to lure him into his first bite of the apple that was to ultimately lead to his disgrace. He flung himself down on the bed, snarling at the pain from his injury, and feeling almost like punching it himself, just to see if physical pain could over ride his mental anguish. For a moment he wished that he could just walk out of the cabin, stroll along the pathway that skirted the edge of the lake. He desperately needed that freedom, and yet he knew that they would never allow him to leave. He sighed and reaching up he gently rubbed at his injury. Scully had landed a good punch, and it still throbbed bitterly. =-=-=-=-= End (08/13) Chameleon (09/13) M/K NC-17 TITLE: Chameleon (09/13) AUTHOR: Tevan DATE: Dec 1998 E-MAIL ADRESS: jtp@artos.prestel.co.uk Disclaimer etc. in part 1 =-=-=-=-= As he lay there he began to realise that the last few days had been nothing more then a dream, an idyllic heavenly dream, which would eventually turn into the nightmare his life always became. Except this time he would drag Mulder down with him. It might even lead to the other man's death, and that was something he was not prepared to allow, better that he end it now, before he saw the sweet expression of love turn to the same cast of hate that he had seen reflected in Skinner's and Scully's eyes. "Krycek?" Mulder quietly questioned, opening the door and peering in. He noted the stony expression, and the way that Alex would not look at him as he spoke, his voice cold, dead. "Tell Skinner I will testify to whatever he wants... then I want to go into the witness protection programme." "No..." Mulder began moving further into the room. "We can't..." "No... Mulder." Krycek spat out, still refusing to meet his lover's look. "We can't... but I can, I don't want this Mulder... I don't want to be on the run for the rest of my life, looking over my shoulder... I want to... to be free of this, and..." he paused, trying desperately to think of the words that would drive the man he loved away from his side. "As long as you're by my side, I will never be free..." Mulder looked at the man lying on the bed, his face so determined and yet his eyes were those of a child who was giving away a beloved toy. Mulder could see that Krycek was fighting his own desire, and he wanted to shake the man, until he shook some sense into him. He glanced back over his shoulder and was glad that Skinner had taken Scully for a walk by the lake, to give her some time to come to terms with what she had learnt. Mulder knew that it would be hard for her, but she was a fair person, and whatever else Krycek might have done, he hadn't needed to tell her the truth about her sister's death. Yet, it had been the one burning fact that she had desperately been seeking, now she had the facts Mulder knew that she would someday sit down with Krycek and ask for more details, she would be calm, and prepared to listen to the full story. "Scully will forgive you for being there," Mulder said calmly, moving further into the room. "After you came in here, she admitted to Skinner and me that she had received a phone call, no-one spoke, but it was enough to get her out of the apartment... was it you?" he asked. Krycek slowly nodded, as he confessed, "I knew that she'd catch on, I hoped that she would, as I knew that I couldn't allow Cardinal to kill her... I saw what her abduction did to you... and I couldn't let you suffer that... I couldn't..." Mulder very carefully slipped onto the edge of the bed, just placing his weight upon it. Knowing that if he pushed, he would be rejected. "I know... and I also know that it took a lot of courage for you to tell her... and one day, she will be grateful that you did." "Grateful!" Krycek barked out his tone bitter, "Grateful, I broke into her apartment, and then just stood by while her sister was killed, and you think she'll be grateful... you know Mulder you really have been out there too long, if you think that." He raised himself, and made to move of the bed, unable to stay close to the man who he felt should hate him. Mulder was not about to let him leave. He knew that once he did, he would never get Alex back, so he reached out and pulled his lover back roughly, wincing when he saw the look of pain that flashed across Krycek's handsome features. He steeled himself and retorted, "Did you go there with the intention of killing Scully or her sister?" Not getting a reply from the stubborn man, he demanded again, "Did you?" "You know I didn't." Krycek finally said, his body still coiled, as if ready for flight. "Then why did you go?" Mulder wanted desperately to take his lover in his arms and just hold him until all the pain he could feel emanating from him just faded away. The agony of his suffering was a palpable, "Why did you go there Alex?" Krycek closed his eyes, as if he could hide from the pain that was coming from inside. "I'm not worth it Mulder... why can't you just accept what everyone is trying to tell you?" He opened his eyes and looked pleadingly towards the man he loved, "Skinner is right... you can't trust me Mulder... at the first sign of trouble I'll betray you... you, and your friends, are you willing to take that risk?" "Yes." Mulder answered, there was no doubt in his tone and it angered Krycek more then he could express so he reacted instead, as he pulled himself roughly out of the loosened grasp and pushed the other man roughly away from him. "You're as obsessed and crazy as they say you are... I'm no damn good Mulder... what is it going to take before you believe what's being written directly under your nose... I was there when you father was killed, I was there when Scully's sister was murdered... I beat the shit out of Skinner... and I enjoyed it." he added with a snarl, "And yet you can sit there and say that I'm worth loving... you're fucking crazy man... fucking crazy." Mulder barely prevented himself from falling off the bed from the shove that Krycek had given him, and he used the few seconds silence after Alex's rant to gather his own emotions that threatened to burst their tightly held banks. If he lost his temper now, then he would lose Krycek as well. So he took a steadying breath and reined in his feelings as he fought to answer calmly. "If you don't love me... then tell me that... don't try to cover this over with what other people say and feel, I'm not interested in them Alex... it's you I love... I don't know why I feel the way I do... but I do love you... and if you want to call it an obsession, then fine, go ahead. Because I won't lie and say that what I feel for you is anything less then love... If you want to walk away from us, then do so, but do it as a man. For god's sake at least be honest about this, if not to me, then at least to yourself." He stopped, he could feel his own heart break as he said, "I can't, won't, hold you Krycek... you're not some dumb animal that I can keep by lies. If you want to stay... to build on what we have, then I will stand by your side, no matter what.... But if you don't love me, then say so... just look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me..." he looked up and dared the other man to meet his eyes. Krycek stood frozen, as if incapable of movement as Mulder's words spilled over him. All he had to do was look the other man in the eyes, and lie to him. It would be the biggest lie he'd ever told, and it would kill him to utter the words, but it would keep Mulder safe, keep him alive and surely that was worth any price he, Krycek, had to pay. He swallowed hard and lifted his eyes, they locked with Mulder's hazel orbs. He opened his mouth, but no words came, his throat refused to obey him, he swallowed again and fought to get the words past his lips. Finally he gasped, as if it took the last of his air to do so. "I... I... don't want you to die." He felt a single tear betray him as it slipped down his cheek and hated himself for this sign of weakness. It was all that Mulder needed, he swiftly moved around the bed, and, pulling Krycek into his embrace, he said, "I can't live without you... not now... it's not an option... if you leave me, you might as well pull the trigger before you turn the light out.... Can't you understand? I love you!" Krycek sneaked an arm about his lover's waist and, pulling the man closer to him, he whispered, "I love you too... God help us both." Mulder tilted his head to look down at Krycek, then rested his lips against the other's forehead he murmured, "He already has..." They stood like that for several minutes, as their emotions slowly calmed down, and the comfort they both desperately needed was given and shared. Krycek moved uneasily in Mulder's embrace, he pulled away a little and asked, "Skinner... Scully?" "Skinner took Scully for a walk around the lake..." he stopped feeling Krycek tense under his hands. "She will understand... it was just the shock..." he added weakly. "What happens now?" Krycek asked, not wanting to tread that pathway again. "Now." Mulder began, appreciating the fact that Alex was still fighting his own demons where his father and Scully's sisters death were concerned, he also knew that that particular battle was not yet over, but no matter what happened he was determined to win that war. "Now we both go to a safe house, while Skinner arranges for your testimony to be taken, and then we'll go from there." "A safe house," Krycek mused, pulling gently out of Mulder's warm embrace and moving to look out the one window. He sighed and questioned, "And just how safe do you really expect that safe house to be?" Mulder tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling. He knew that they could kick that subject about for a long time, and still never reach a satisfactory conclusion. So, instead he answered, "We will be together, that was a stipulation of the agreement for your testimony, then after you've testified we can either both go into the Witness Protection programme." He held up his hand, as Krycek swung towards him, his mouth open to protest. "It's an option that we might have to consider... and we should not just dismiss it... the alternative is that you are granted immunity against prosecution, which will be a stipulation anyway, but it will allow you to remain with me after the trial if you so wish... I could always be reassigned..." "Reassigned... where to? Alaska would still be too near..." Krycek offered, a slight frown crossing his handsome face as he considered this options. "But they do have six month nights up there, so don't knock it." "In bed with you for six months..." Krycek smiled, it was the first simile he'd given in hours, "They won't have to send a killer after me, you'd do that within the first two months." "Hey..." Mulder objected, moving over and taking Krycek in another embrace which allowed him to tenderly deposit a kiss upon the willing lips, "I'd let you up for sustenance." "And here I thought I'd been surviving on some other sort of sustenance!" Krycek replied, a warm smile slipping across the supple lips as another kiss was requested and freely given. "Believe me Alex, keeping you healthy is in my own interest." Mulder run his hands up under the other man's jumper, enjoying the feeling of warm flesh that lay under his seeking hands. He sighed, and gently pulled away as he heard the cabin door opened and close. "Now, I think we'd better go out there and make plans for our future." As he moved away, he reached back and took Krycek hand in his own firm grasp. Krycek allowed Mulder to move away, and take his hand, but he lagged back, still unsure of the reception he would receive from the other two people who awaited them in the next room. Skinner he knew hated him, he'd seen the look even if Mulder hadn't and now Scully had even more reason not to trust him, and if anything, now considered him to be an accomplice to her sister's murder. Mulder, sensing what Krycek was thinking, looked back and tilted his head saying, "Together." He lifted their clasped hands and added, "No matter what... together." "Together." Krycek agreed, smiling weakly as he allowed his lover to lead him into the other room. =-=-=-=-= Skinner and Scully were waiting for them as they entered living room. Skinner looked up from his conversation on his mobile phone, nodded once in greeting, then returned to his quiet discussion. Scully was standing over by the sink, a fresh cup of coffee in her hand, she noted their arrival and held up the coffee-pot. It looked as if it had recently been filled. Mulder shot Krycek a look and could tell that the man desperately needed that drink, but he could also see that Alex was not going to start any conversations with Scully, or even get near her for fear of upsetting her again. "We'll both have a cup." Mulder said, refusing to let go of Krycek's hand as he made his way over to his partner. Without a word she retrieved two cups and poured their coffee, then she handed then over. Krycek's hand shook slightly at he hesitatingly accepted his. Scully saw this and pressed her lips together. She felt bad about the way she had attacked the man. It was very unprofessional, and no matter what else Krycek might have done, he had saved Mulder's life and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she also believed that he would have saved her sister's life, if it had been possible. "Krycek.." she began, then paused and said instead, "Alex... I'm sorry about my behaviour earlier... it was just the shock... finding out that you were there when..." she paused again, unable to say the words. Krycek seeing how hard the apology was for Scully hurried to put her fears at rest as he interrupted saying, "No... the fault was mine, I... I just never thought... only I wanted you to know what really happened... you deserve to know..." he finished lamely, still afraid of saying something wrong. The silence was tense until Scully forced a little smile to her lips and offered, "I would like to know.. what exactly happened... but not now... maybe later.. once things have settled down a bit." Krycek swallowed, looked away then back at her as he nodded and agreed, "Any time." Skinner slid his mobile phone closed and approached the three people by the kitchen bench. "I've made arrangements for you to be placed in a safe house Krycek." "I will be with him." Mulder stated firmly. "You will be the lead FBI agent on site." Skinner confirmed, just as firmly stressing the lead agent part. He was informing Mulder that there was to be no intimacy during the period at the safe house. It was to be kept professional. Mulder nodded, accepting the fact. Seeing the agreement in the agent's eyes Skinner continued, "I will assign four other agents, including Scully. But it is not an FBI safe house....I thought it might be better not to use one of ours, so I've er... managed to borrow from a friend... Krycek." He shot the young man in question a hard look, preventing Mulder from asking the question he could see resting on his lips, "Will give a taped deposition, which I will put before a judge, either this afternoon or tomorrow. If we get the all clear then it will be taken further." Krycek bit at his bottom lip then asked, "So what exactly do you want me to tell you?" Skinner considered his words, knowing that any information he got from Krycek would be selective, the man was nothing if not cautious, and he would only give what he had to. "Why not start with your first involvement with the man we now call Cancerman, how he recruited you, what he told you your objectives were and we can work from there." Silence ruled for a few seconds why each person considered the proposal. Finally Krycek nodded slowly and agreed, "Alright... do you want me to do it here or at the safe house?" "I've arranged for you to go to the safe house directly from here," he glanced at his watch, "We will, of course, accompany you. The proper equipment will be waiting for use there to take your statement formally, so it would be best if we started from the beginning there, rather than here." "So, you want us to leave now?" Mulder asked, not sure if he liked the feeling of being rushed that he was getting. "And who exactly have you borrowed this safe house from? "The sooner the statement is taken, the quicker we can get it processed and passed down the line. Also, once his statement is has been signed and lodged with the proper authorities, at least Krycek will have some semblance of protection. " "So in other words, if Cancerman takes me out, at least you'll have got something for your efforts," Krycek put in sarcastically. Skinner tilted his head and glared at Krycek before retorting, "This is your choice Krycek, no one on this side is putting a gun to your head, and you know that this is your best chance of surviving." Alex took a deep breath to steady the flare of anger, then let it out slowly, accepting the truth of Skinner's words. He was not being forced into giving his statement, but if he wanted any resemblance of a normal life, or any chance of spending it with Mulder, then giving his statement, and seeing if he survived, was the price he was going to have to pay. "Alright." He said, his tone indicating that he did not like his options. "I suggest that we get going then." As he spoke he made his way back to the bedroom, intending to pack the few belongings that Mulder had brought for him. "Alex," Mulder said, reaching out to lay a hand on the other's arm, preventing him from leaving. "I want to know exactly where this safe house is first.. and just how safe it really is." He left the part statement, part question hanging as he looked towards his superior. The AD bristled under the look and snapped, "It's a safe house Mulder, sanctioned and kept by the CIA." "CIA?" Scully exclaimed, her face reflecting her surprise. "Yes," Skinner looked sheepish, "I don't entirely trust our ability to maintain a safe house for Krycek, so I've called in a few favours from some friends. Also, the other agents on site have been hand picked by myself, because I know that I can trust them, and yes, they will be CIA operatives. I consider that keeping the FBI out of this would be wiser, at least until after we have Krycek's testimony down on tape and laid before a judge." Mulder looked down, suddenly unable to meet his superior's look as he realised that he had dared to question his trust. Then he looked up, his glance defiant. Where Krycek's safety was concerned, he would push the matter all the way. Skinner, inwardly acknowledging the cause of Mulder's unease, relented slightly and offered, "While Alex and I may have some unresolved issues going Mulder, I would never do anything to intentionally endanger his life, and more importantly, nor would I endanger any agent under my supervision." "I know sir." Mulder offered, with a slight smile of apology, "And I'm sorry for doubting you." The tension that had grown up between them for a few moments began to ebb as Scully moved towards the chair where her discarded jacket lay. She picked it up and asked, "So, shall we get this little venture on the road or what?" =-=-=-=-= End (09/13)