From: Donna Honeycutt Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 10:51:55 -0400 Subject: New Story - Chance Encounters (the dark side) Source: direct Title - Chance Encounters Author - Donna Email address - donnah@pop.uky.edu URL - www.geocities.com/Area51/Quadrant/4571/ Rating - R Category - MSR Spoilers - None Keywords - MSR Summary - The adult version Feedback - Please Disclaimer - Mulder, Scully, the Lone Gunman and Skinner all belong to Chris Carter, 10-13 and Fox. No infringement intended. Chance Encounters (the dark side) He came out of the men's room and headed back for the bar. The shade of red caught his eye - that particular shade always did. But this time it was her. Scully was smiling up at the blond man hovering over her. He had his arm around her and as Mulder watched, hugged her to him. Mulder felt his whole body stiffen at the sight. Who was this man hugging his - that drew him up short. His what? Partner? Not woman - Scully. His Scully. He watched the man seat her in a booth at the far end of the bar, her back to him. Mulder resumed his seat at the bar, unable to look away. The man was delighted to be in her presence. Well, what man wouldn't be? She seemed just as happy though. Who was this man? He didn't remember her mentioning seeing anyone. After a few moments the man rose, kissed her, and headed toward Mulder. He felt his hand twitch and his shoulder stiffen. He'd kissed her. Just kissed her as though it were the most natural, normal thing in the world. Mulder managed to drop his eyes for a second as the man passed him, then looked up again to see her staring at him. There was more color in her face than normal. Was she blushing? Turned on? Embarrassed at being caught? Caught? He couldn't move, his eyes locked on hers. She rose from the booth and came toward him. If he'd been able to move he would have. He'd have bolted from the bar - did she think he'd followed her? Spied on her? "Mulder? I didn't see you when we came in." "Uh, yeah I was in . . . " He waved vaguely in the direction of the men's room. She nodded. "Didn't know you had a date tonight." It wasn't a question, it wasn't even an accusation but she stiffened nevertheless - something about his body language maybe. "Yeah, Jessie's an old friend." "Jessie?" He pursed his lips, waiting for her answer, just as though she owed him one. "Jessie Clark. We knew each other in school." He nodded, not sure what to say. "Well, uh, you better get back before he sees you talking to another man. He might be less comfortable kissing you." Why the hell had he said that? She stiffened, what was wrong with him? Was he drunk? Her eyes asked the question but he looked away. "Well I, I'll see you Monday Mulder." "Yeah." He turned back to his drink and after a moment she turned as well and returned to the booth. When he finally looked in that direction again they were gone. Well, he'd made an ass of himself. He paid his bar bill and rose from the stool. ***** She let herself into his apartment. She'd knocked twice and gotten no response. He'd been acting so weird at the bar she needed to make sure he was okay. She spotted him sitting on the couch, staring in the direction of the television, but it wasn't on. "Mulder?" He jumped at the sound and started to rise from his seat. " I didn't mean to startle you." She glanced at the coffee table; there was a bottle on it and a glass. He'd continued drinking here. That wasn't like him at all. "What are you doing here?" "I wanted to check on you. You didn't seem yourself earlier." "I'm fine. Isn't Jessie upset that you ended your date so early?" "What are you - " "Who is this Jessie anyway? I don't remember you mentioning him." She watched him approach her, her anger at his attitude growing. She shouldn't have come here. "You're not my father, Mulder." "Would Ahab not approve?" Something about his tone shot clear through her. Maybe it was his use of the word Ahab. Whatever, she couldn't stop herself. The palm of her hand connected sharply with his face. She was immediately appalled though she tried to hide it. What the hell was wrong with both of them tonight? Mulder seemed to grow in front of her, looming over her suddenly, making her feel small, vulnerable. He took her shoulders in his hands and kissed her. It took a second for the action to register in her brain, then she was struggling against him, fighting to break free. "Mulder stop! This isn't funny. Stop it!" It seemed to enflame him; he pulled her closer and his hand closed painfully around her breast. She'd come to him from some other man's bed - he could smell him on her. He'd visualized it over and over as the level in the bottle got lower. Now between the liquor and the fury he was out of control. ***** There was blood in his mouth. He ran his tongue over his lip - it was cut and he was lying on the floor. He started to rise and stopped, he felt like he'd been hit in the head with a 2 X 4. He stifled a groan and made it to a seated position. That was when he spotted her. Scully, huddled into a ball, hugging her knees to her chest on the far side of the room, her back against the bedroom wall. Her eyes were open but she was looking inward, not at anything in this room. "Scully?" Memory hit him like a sledgehammer. Oh god! Oh god, no, it couldn't . . . he couldn't have . . . He managed to crawl to her, not trusting himself to walk. "Scully? Are you . . .? Let me take you to the hospital." He managed to rise to his feet. He desperately wanted to touch her but terror kept him from it. Finally she looked up at him; "I'm not going to the hospital." He absorbed that, no room for discussion. "Are the police on the way?" She shook her head and looked away again. "Why are you still here?" If she heard the fear in his voice she ignored it. "I was afraid you'd choke on your own vomit." He blinked, trying to process the words. She had stayed here to make sure that he was okay? His knees gave way at that and he collapsed beside her. "Scully, what can I . . . what can I do?" She rose to her feet then, moving away from him. "Scully?" "Nothing. There's nothing you can do." Her shield was tight around her. She had to distance herself from this, she had to deny that it had happened or she'd fall apart. "Don't leave. Please." She stopped at the sound of his voice but didn't turn to him. "You shouldn't be driving, not now." "There's no traffic now Mul . . . " She stopped, unable to say his name. He glanced over at the clock. It was nearly 4:30 in the morning. How long had he been passed out on the floor with her watching over him? "Please don't go." "I need a shower, some fresh clothes." Now he saw what he had done to the clothes she had been wearing. Ripped, torn, destroyed, by him. Just like their relationship. He felt dead inside, empty. He should have choked. He would have preferred it to this living death he was facing. He finally forced words from his mouth, "We need to talk, please Scully." "No. There's nothing to say Mu . . . I can't talk, not now." She continued on to the door, picking up her coat and exiting the apartment without looking back, leaving him on the floor uncertain if he would ever rise again. ***** The notice of transfer came as no surprise. She hadn't discussed it with him; she hadn't spoken to him or come by the office when he was there. He couldn't blame her. Hell, he should be in jail. He had no idea what she had said to Skinner. When Skinner had called him in to advise him of her request he had obviously been curious. It was a tribute to his professionalism that he managed to ask no questions. He watched in silence as Mulder, as senior agent of the X-Files, signed her request with no comment. "I'll start the paperwork to assign you a new partner right away." "Fine." That surprised Skinner, he'd expected an argument. He watched Mulder rise and head toward the door. "Mulder," the man stopped, his hand on the doorknob, but he didn't turn to face his supervisor. "If you need to talk . . . " Mulder nodded and left the room. Skinner couldn't remember ever seeing a man in more pain than this one was. He was actually concerned about the man's physical health because of it. It crossed his mind that suicide wasn't out of the question. He'd have to keep a discreet eye on him. ***** He waited as long as he could to check on her, and then only by computer. He'd hoped someone would say something, drop a hint as to where she had gone. No one did, everyone seemed to be avoiding him. It was just as well, this way he didn't have to pretend to be civil. It wasn't an act he felt he could pull off anyway. He could probably have gotten all the information he wanted if he'd asked the guys, but he was avoiding them too and they'd finally taken the hint. Finding her in the computer had taken no time once he faltered in his resolution not to try. She was back at Quantico, teaching. He was a little surprised that she'd taken such a mundane assignment. She was excellent in the field - the best he'd ever seen. Maybe she wasn't ready for that. Maybe she was traumatized . . . allowing that thought to form had shut him down for nearly two days. Even when he felt functional again he didn't check on her. She didn't want contact, that much was obvious and more than understandable. He stumbled through each day half-alive, doing his work by rote with all passion gone, waiting for the pink slip he expected each morning. Weeks turned into months. His new partner, Bob something, he couldn't even remember that, carried him. He didn't believe in psychic phenomena, aliens, anything that they had investigated together and Mulder felt no trust in either direction, but not caring made that bearable. He slept when he could, ate when he remembered and basically stumbled through his days in a self-induced stupor. Liquor had not touched his lips and never would again. The alcohol wasn't to blame, he'd gotten past that, but it had contributed. His father had been a mean drunk. Mulder had never known that kind of evil was harbored in his body. That was what kept him alive, he had seriously considered suicide, but living was more punishment and that's what he deserved. He had fallen asleep yet again on his couch, changing and actually going to bed had become insurmountable chores, so he avoided them. He jerked awake, crying out her name, shaking like a leaf. This was different, he didn't remember the dream but something was wrong. This wasn't his normal nightmare and he knew she needed help, maybe not his, but someone's. He grabbed the phone and dialed the switchboard at the Bureau. Sometimes it was good to work for a place that had to be functional 24-hours a day. "This is an emergency. My badge number is ****. I need the location of Special Agent Dana Scully." There was a brief pause, okay maybe the night shift wasn't everything the day shift was cracked up to be. "Agent Mulder, we have her location as her home. She's taken medical leave. I'm sorry we don't have any more infor -" He broke the connection. Medical leave? He had thought, when he woke, that she had gone out on an assignment, maybe been injured in the field. Medical leave - the cancer? No please, that was supposed to be gone. A breakdown? Because of what he'd done to her? Scully? Hell, it didn't matter, he'd been right she did need help. Okay, he was going over there. He already knew he wouldn't be welcomed, but he had to know what was going on. It wasn't like he could call her mother and ask for an update. She no doubt had a poisoned glass of wine waiting for him. It was morning anyway. By the time he'd showered, shaved and found the least dirty of his clothes it would be a decent hour to show up at her door. He looked presentable when he knocked on her door. The best he'd bothered to look in ages. He looked older too, there was gray at his temples and throughout his hair now that he hadn't noticed until this morning. Well, prison did that to you, no matter who the warden was. She took a long time coming to her door. He didn't dare try his key. He was confident that she had changed the locks, but testing the theory wasn't something he could take. She was still in her robe and she obviously hadn't bothered to check the peephole. That wasn't like her. "Did you forget your key, Mom?" Then she got the door open and froze. They both did, the sight of her stopping all senses but sight in order to more fully appreciate that one sense to the fullest. She looked tired, more than just waking her up would warrant. Was it the cancer? He felt his heart rate rise even more than the sight of her had caused. "I . . . I know I shouldn't be here. I have no right, but I heard . . . may I come in?" She stepped back then, allowing him entry. She still hadn't said a word and he couldn't read her expression. Had it been that long? Hell yes, it had been forever. He had to be misinterpreting what he was seeing, that couldn't be relief in her eyes or even a hint that she had missed him. Just wishful thinking on his part. He pushed the door almost closed behind him, afraid to close it completely. He didn't want her to think . . . He didn't venture farther into the room. The awkward silence was growing. "I . . . I heard you had taken a leave. I, uh, I . . . shit, Scully are you okay?" His eyes were pleading with her. She took in his appearance and was frightened at the change in him. He'd aged terribly in the last few months. No one had told her, no one had spoken to her about him except her mother and Scully had finally put a stop to that too. Now he stood before her and she realized she instinctively wanted his support, needed his support. No. She shouldn't feel this way, it was just history and . . . and - "Dana! What are you doing up? The doctor was adamant about complete bed rest. He will put you in the hospital - " Scully hadn't seen her mother coming, concentrating on him as she was. "Mom." She spoke quietly, resignedly and Maggie stopped, looking in the direction Scully was looking. "Fox!" A look that Mulder interpreted as relief, even joy, which made no sense whatsoever, came over Maggie's face. He turned to her; he was getting nowhere with Scully. "Is it the cancer? Why does her doctor want her in the hospital?" Now bewilderment took over as the prominent expression. Maggie turned back to Scully. "He doesn't know? You said - " "Mom, could you leave us alone for a few minutes." She sounded tired, centuries worth of tired. "Dana, you don't need the stress right now. Let me talk to Fox and - " "No! I have to handle this. Please." Handle what? And was Rod Serling going to come through the door next? What the fuck was going on? She looked terrible now that he was really seeing her. If the cancer was back . . . icy claws tightened around his heart. Scully took a step toward them and seemed to stumble; her hand came out to grab the back of the couch. "Dana!" But Mulder already had her in his arms. "I'm . . . I'm okay." "The hell you are." He didn't even bother with the couch, carrying her into her bedroom and laying her gently on the bed. Maggie followed them. Mulder was watching Scully, but he spoke to Maggie. "Will someone tell me what the hell is going on?" Maggie lay her hand on his arm. "Not now." She tugged slightly on his arm. He managed to look away from Scully and Maggie saw the nearly frantic concern in his eyes. She felt herself melt, he did love her - beyond all reason. Surely they could work this out, Dana's explanation of their parting had never made sense anyway. "Mom, please. Leave us alone for a few minutes." "Dana, not now." Her mother's voice brooked no argument. Whatever was going on her first priority was her daughter. "Fox can wait, you need to calm down and rest. Or I'm calling your doctor." It was obviously a threat and both Mulder and Scully responded to it. She sank back down onto the pillow and closed her eyes. Maggie motioned for Mulder to follow her out, which he did. Scully sighed as the she heard the door close behind them. He followed Maggie into the kitchen where she started a pot of coffee. "Mrs. Scully, please. Is it the cancer? Is that why she took the leave?" "Fox, I . . . I was led to believe . . . something that I realize now isn't true. I'm not sure why Dana chose to mislead me, but I can't question her about it now. The two of you need to talk, I know you can work this out between the two of you. I can't say more than that, except that it isn't the cancer. Don't worry about that." She watched the relief flood his whole body and took his hand. "She needs you now Fox. Whatever your differences, you have to work them out - for everyone's sake." "It's not as simple as that Mrs. Scully. I don't deserve her forgiveness, I - " "Fox." She silenced him. "I don't know what happened but it doesn't matter now." Mulder shook his head, she really didn't understand. "You love her Fox, and she loves you. Now, especially now, you have to work things out." Well she was half right, he loved Scully. But she could only hate him now. He buried his face in his hands. Maggie watched him; he was suffering terribly. She couldn't fail to notice the change in him - he had been suffering and it had aged him. The stress of their separation had been the cause of Dana's problem, she knew that, had known it all along. Fox didn't know about the child. He didn't know what was wrong with her and yet he was here. He had known instinctively that she needed him. She rose from the table and poured them both a cup of coffee. He sipped his gratefully. "Can I fix you some breakfast?" "No, I'm fine." "You look like you could use a meal." He managed to smile at her. "You're probably right, but I'm not hungry. Mrs. Scully . . . " She shook her head. "Listen, if you're going to be here for a while there's some errands I need to run. I didn't finish what I needed to get done, I didn't want to be gone too long." "You're staying here with her?" She nodded. "I could use the time to get some groceries and some other things. And the two of you could use the privacy I'm sure. Don't push her Fox." He closed his eyes at that; she didn't have a clue what she'd said to him. Push her? After what he'd done? Maggie placed her hand over his. "You'll work this out. I know you'll take good care of my baby girl. I'll be gone for a couple of hours at least. Don't let her get out of bed except to go to the bathroom." He nodded and watched her gather her jacket and let herself out the door. He didn't want to risk waking her, so he didn't turn on the television or music. He wandered around the apartment, touching things, familiarizing himself again with the only place he viewed as a home. When he heard her stir he poured her a cup of coffee and tapped on the bedroom door. "Come in." She sat up and adjusted the pillows behind her, then accepted the cup he offered. He started to pull a chair closer to the bed, but she patted the mattress for him to sit beside her. "Are you sure?" "Yes. Is Mom here?" "No, she needed to run some errands. She told me . . . she told me to look after you." He managed a sad smile. "I guess she doesn't know . . ." "She knows we had a falling out." He wanted to laugh at that, such an understatement should have been funny. "She obviously didn't tell you what was wrong with me." "No. She said we had to 'work things out'. I know that's not possible, but I'm here. Scully, what is wrong, if it's not the cancer, why did you take a leave?" She sighed, this was inevitable but still, "I went into pre-term labor. They were able to stop it, but my doctor put me on full bed rest for now." "Pre-term . . . " For the first time he allowed himself to look at her, really look at her. His eyes widened and he paled slightly. "Is it . . .?" She was watching him closely, not entirely sure what she wanted to see. "It's yours. There's no other possibility." "But how . . . " He watched her eyebrow rise though she made no comment. "I mean, I thought you were . . . oh hell." "I know." She finally gave in and took him off the hook. "It wasn't something I expected. 'My theory' is the chip in my neck, when it sent my cancer into remission it also 'cured' other things. But it's not something that I would have thought to check." "And you kept it, even after . . . " "Of course I kept it. There was never a decision to be made in that area." Now his eyes were locked on hers. "Why didn't you tell me?" She looked away from him then, adjusting the sheets, nervous for the first time. "I was in denial for a long time. When I finally . . . I didn't know how you'd feel, I didn't want you to think I was after child support or . . . or anything." "Oh god, Scully. Did you really not know how I'd feel? Did you really think I wouldn't want to be part of this, even though I know I don't deserve to be." Her shoulders relaxed, "Mulder, what happened? What happened that night?" He rose then, pacing as he thought. "I have tried to figure that out for months. The drinking was no excuse, but it was a catalyst. Seeing Jessie touching you, kissing you, so casually as though he'd always done it. As though you belonged to him. Then you came over to my apartment and I could smell his aftershave on you. I went crazy - years of frustration just came . . . this isn't an excuse Scully, it's not even a good explanation, it's just . . ." He glanced heavenward, there was nothing he could say to fix this. "It's just the truth." He looked over at her then and nodded. "Mulder that's just Jessie's way. I've known him for years, but he would probably have put his arm around you if I'd had the chance to introduce you. By the way, he's gay." "Oh god." He slumped down on the foot of her bed. "You're not serious?" She nodded, with something very close to a smile in her eyes. As he watched her she shifted, and brought her hand to her stomach. "Are you okay?" "What? Oh, yeah, she's just kicking." She was unprepared for the look of naked hunger in his eyes at that remark. "You . . . you want to feel?" "May I?" His voice was shaking but he didn't care. "She's half yours." He moved closer and held out his hand tentatively. She took it and placed it on her stomach. "Feel that?" Her eyes teared at the look of awe on his face. "She?" "Yeah, we're having a girl. Hope that's okay with you." He looked up startled and saw that she was smiling now. "You don't . . . you don't hate me?" He was floundering here; he certainly hadn't expected any degree of acceptance. He'd come because he couldn't stay away, not when he knew that she was ill, but he'd expected to be met by a gun at the very least. "No, I don't hate you. It wasn't exactly my dream encounter, you hurt me and worse, you scared me. But you also gave me something I never . . . something I'd given up on wanting." She touched the gray hair at his temple. "You've punished yourself much more than anyone else could have." "Does," he had to clear his throat, his voice was so weak he wasn't sure she could hear him even this close. "Does that mean you'll allow me to be a part of this?" "Do you really want to be? You've never talked about children." "You couldn't have them, there was no need." Her eyes widened at that. "Besides, I don't have any experience, even any model to follow for fathering. But I want to try Scully. Please." Her face grew serious again, "Mulder, I saw a side of you I didn't know existed. After nearly eight years, and suddenly you . . . I don't know if I can . . . trust you the way I did before. I have to protect my daughter, your daughter. I have to do what's best for her now." "I know. I agree, but Scully I need a chance to earn your trust again." She drew a deep breath, "I have to ask, I have to know, did you ever do anything like that before?" He touched her hand and looked her straight in the eyes. "No Scully. Never. I would have sworn to you that I wasn't capable." "Your other relationships - " "You know both of my other 'relationships'. You've met Phoebe and Diana. They had a lot in common actually, besides me. They both excelled in deceiving me with other men. For Phoebe it was a game to see how many times she could win me back. Diana, I wasn't enough for her either. I don't know what she needed, but it was more than me." He found her hand in his. "Scully, I never had a relationship like the one I had with you. You are the only person in my life who has never betrayed me. When I saw Jessie hold you, kiss you I was back - it threw me into a nightmare. I believed you were doing what they had done and I realized . . . I knew then that I had never loved them, not like I did you." Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "I wanted to hurt you, because you were doing what they had done, but it was so much worse coming from you. It matter with you." "Mulder it was a simple kiss." "No. He was kissing you. I snapped Scully. That's what I can't forgive myself for - I should have trusted you. I should have - " "Mulder, we can't change it." She gave a slight smile, "I don't want to change part of it." "We shouldn't be doing this now. You should be resting. I promised your mother." She took a deep breath and nodded, settling down in the bed. He pulled the covers up around her and stood. He stopped at the tap on the door. "Dana, Fox, I know I'm back earlier than I said, but I needed to . . . " She sighed. "Have you had any contractions?" "A couple. Very mild." "Wait, wait a minute - you've had contractions since I've been here? Why didn't you say something?" "Because I knew you'd freak." "Shit, Scully, I . . . " He remembered Mrs. Scully too late, "Sorry." "It's okay. Dana, you should have your legs elevated. Fox, why don't we let her rest for awhile?" "Mom, I'm doing better, really." "I can see that." Maggie glanced over at Fox and smiled. "Mom." Scully rolled her eyes, matchmaking, now? "Regardless, you need to rest. I'm pulling rank." She tugged Mulder to his feet. "You're not . . . are you leaving?" She couldn't quite look him in the eye. "Not until you throw me out." He was looking her in the eye now. She nodded and he was willing to swear she actually looked relieved. The tension in his shoulders decreased visibly. "Come on Fox." Maggie led him from the room. "I'm going to fix you some lunch, come help me." He ate with the first real appetite he'd had in months and she let him enjoy it, not forcing any conversation. When he sat back finally and turned to her, she sat waiting for him to speak. "Is she okay? I mean really?" "You're the best medicine she could have. She looks better already - there's good color in her face, she says she's only have a couple of contractions. Her doctor was very encouraging. You didn't know about the baby when come here, did you?" "I don't know what she told you . . . " "It doesn't matter, you're here now." "If I had known I'd have been here sooner." "I know that Fox." She patted his hand. "Mulder!" He was across the room before Maggie processed the sound. "Scully, I'm here. What . . . " That's when he realized she was asleep. He slowed, afraid again suddenly. Was she having a nightmare about, about what he'd done to her? "Mul . . . " She opened her eyes and scanned the room, spotting him near the door. "I didn't dream it, you are here." "Is that a good thing?" She sighed, "Yes. She needs both of us now. I'm, I'm glad you're here." He didn't attempt to speak as she reached out her hand to him. Maggie retreated when she saw the gesture. They didn't need her right now. ***** He was reading the paper when Mrs. Scully returned. He took her bags from her and carried them into the kitchen. They visited as they put away her purchases. He reassured her that there had been no problem while she was gone and that when he had checked on her last she'd been peacefully asleep. He'd barely finished his sentence when they heard her. "Mom!" It was half cry, half moan. "Oh no." Mrs. Scully tried to put the box her was holding on the counter and rushed from the room. Mulder caught the box before it could hit the floor. She'd called for her mother, but he couldn't stay away. "Try to relax Dana, stay calm. I'll call Linda." She met Mulder at the door. "Stay with her Fox. I'll be right back." She didn't wait for a response, moving past him. "Scully, Scully hold on." "Mulder - " "I'm not going anywhere." He watched the tears overflow her eyes and took her into his arms. "I don't want to lose this baby. I thought was over. Mulder, I want her so much." "Just relax Scully. I'll do the worrying now. Let me hold you." She continued to cry, but as he reclined beside her, let him hold her, comfort her. He placed his hand on her stomach. "Let me look after you." She closed her eyes, allowing him to soothe her. When her mother reappeared in the doorway he looked up and shook his head, motioning for her to be quiet. She was relaxed now and hadn't had a contraction since he'd taken her in his arms. Mrs. Scully nodded and retreated a short distance to continue talking on the phone She woke slowly, her hand automatically moving to touch her stomach. Her hand met his there. "Mulder?" "Yeah. How are you feeling?" She paused then, doing a mental inventory of her body. "Good. I feel pretty good." He smiled down at her. "How long did I sleep?" He shifted to see the clock. "A little over seven hours." "Seven? And . . . you stayed?" "There's no where else I want to be, Scully." "The contractions . . . " "If you've had one it was too mild for me to feel. Maybe she just wanted me here." Her chuckle was cut short as the baby moved under his hand. "I think I need to hang around." She nodded, unsure what to say. "Scully, there's something else. I know you're going to think I'm crazy, but just listen - just for a minute." He looked so earnest, and . . . and more than a little frightened. I want to marry you. Wait, I'm not . . . I'm not asking that you be a wife to me. I would never force myself on you again, but Scully, she deserves two parents. I don't want her born out of wedlock. This way she'll be legitimate, if anything happens to me, she'll be protected legally." He felt her tense up. "Scully?" "Happen to you? What do you think - " "Nothing. Scully, nothing's going to happen to me. Or to either of you. But I want her protected, and you. Everything of mine will be yours." "You want to . . . to marry me?" "Yes. Scully, lying here, holding you . . . I mean it, I expect nothing from you. You don't have to take my name; we don't have to share a room. I just want to look after you and her." "Mulder, I . . . I don't - " "I know I'm springing this on you. Now isn't a good time, but . . . Scully I need you to be thinking about it. Please." She was quiet for so long he felt his confidence vanish. Twice he started to speak but managed to stop himself. Finally she spoke, not turning to look at him. "Mulder, I . . . I understand what you're trying to do, and I appreciate it." He felt the final prop go out from under his shattered life. She couldn't even give him this. "Mulder, I'm able to support her financially. That's not what I . . . Mulder, she needs a father. I don't want to get married to have a meal ticket. I want to get married because I love the person. I want the person I marry to want to be with me." What? What had she said? "You . . . you think I don't want . . . " "Well, it doesn't sound like it. You want to support the baby, but you don't want to share my bed." She closed her eyes. Where had she gotten the courage to say that? He wasn't offering a love match. He was doing what she had feared - child support. He was offering child support. "Scully," He was afraid to speak, but even more afraid not to. " Would you ever allow me to share your bed?" She turned then in his arms, startled. "Scully I said I would never force you. I never said I didn't want to share your bed." There was another long pause as she read his face, probed his eyes. "We should . . .we should wait - see if I'm able to carry her." He shook his head. "I need to be here for that. Together, I think together she has a better chance." A single tear escaped her eye. "I'm afraid." It was a breath, barely audible. "I said I wouldn't push you, but here I am, doing it again." He shoo, his head, and started to move away, give her space. "Don't." He stopped, watching her. "Tell me what you want Scully. I accept whatever you say." "I want you to stay. I need you to stay. We can . . . we can work out the rest." He nodded and gathered her against him, breathing easier than any time in months. She was giving him a chance. It was more than he deserved. He wouldn't risk messing this up again. She'd allowed him this close - he would earn more. He had to - this woman and the child she carried were the most important things in the world. He knew it and he'd admitted it to her. She was right; they could work out the rest.