From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org
Date: 13 Feb 2005 22:48:34 -0000
Subject: New - Cherry 1/1 by Ms Lill
Source: direct

Reply To: jules.v@ntlworld.com


Title - Cherry 1/1
Auther - Ms Lill
Email - jules.v@ntlworld.com

Keywords - MSR
Rating - Oh, a G I guess!
Spoilers - Are there spoilers any more?
Notes - This is a Valentines fic.  For Fi and Lorna. 
I finally finished it!


Cherry 1/1


Mulder had a secret.

If one was taken to be pedantic, Mulder had many, many secrets. 
However, this was the only secret he kept from Scully.

He'd never sent a valentine card to anyone.
And what was worse, he'd never RECEIVED a
Valentine card, either.  Never.

In his younger days, he'd harboured the hope that he would 
receive cards. He would have settled for even one single 
solitary card. But at school he'd been the geeky guy with the 
big nose; not unpopular but uncool. Then he became the kid 
that everyone talked about in hushed tones - the 
Didyouhearwhathappenedtohissistertheysayhe/hisfather/his mothedidsomethingtoherNeverfoundherCreepyhuh' 
kid.  Whatever he was, he was the kind of kid that no one wanted 
as a valentine that was for sure.

He then moved on to college in England and immediately reinvented 
himself as a cool kid. England didn't really 'do' Valentines back 
then. Valentines were for real couples or families, not for friends 
or casual relationships or the teacher or the cat or the guy that 
served you at the grocery store.  Valentines were kept for couples 
who were pretty committed and anyways they  just weren't a 'cool' 
thing to send. God forbid you weren't 'cool' in the crowd he hung 
with - so even though he'd still harboured the vain hope of a stray 
envelope coming his way each year, he tamped the hope down and 
derided the people who wasted their money on such a phoney 
holiday; they were seriously not 'cool'. There had been that one 
druken Valentines night when Phoebe had given him a good time 
on a headstone, but that was about as romantic as his college 
days had gotten.
Bad sex and poison ivy.

When he came back home and was recruited,  the career took 
over for a while. Killers didn't do Valentines, he discovered. They 
may have sent him the odd heart or two, but the sentiment conveyed 
had little to do with love. Next came the marriage that hadn't made 
it to see a first Christmas, let alone a Valentines.

Eventually, he gave up hope.

Not a lot later had come the Samantha epiphany.
After that he'd learned that although women may find him 
attractive initially, they couldn't stick the course to find out if 
he had any hidden good points, which he himself doubted he did; they 
had become so hidden not even he could find them, so he couldn't 
really blame them for giving up. He also learned that 'Chantal' 
didn't send 'Marty' Valentines cards either, no matter how sexy 
his voice was.

Then along came Scully.
Scully with her red hair and earnest expression and unfeasibly 
high heels.
Scully who he'd realised was the first and only person he'd 
ever truly loved since he was 12.
Scully who was his heart and soul and everything in-between 
and made him feel occasionally he could be a good person.  She'd 
even managed to unearth a couple of his good points from 
somewhere.

So here he was, February 13th, on the verge of breaking his 
Valentines cherry. And all he could do was stand in the card shop 
and stare in glassy eyed horror. He was in a world of roses and 
teddy bears, of bright red hearts and...  It just wasn't him. He so
wanted to take the plunge, to leap into the sea of sentiment that 
was all around him and wallow, but he was frozen.   

He had decided Scully deserved as normal a Valentines day as 
anyone else. So what if she didn't send him a card back. She let 
him breath thesame air as her for at least eight hours a day. 
She didn't ignore him, beat him, use him or leave him like everyone 
else he'd loved or thought he'dloved had; Mulder felt to expect more 
than that from her would just be greedy and unrealistic and for 
God's sake Scully couldn't love him like that anyway.  If truth be told 
he thought she deserved more than a card from a sorry son of 
a bitch like him, but he then hated himself for being so pathetic and 
by wallowing in that self pity he proved the point that he WAS
a sorry son of a bitch, eventually winding himself into a circular 
internal argument with little piece of him that was still the sane 
psychologist he'd once believed himself to be til he felt dizzy.  Surely 
this was the one day that he could get out of the DAMN car and at 
least make the pretence of being normal. He owed her that - along 
with the earth and the moon and the stars, of course.

So here is Mulder, eyes running over the sea of red in front of him.
Too gaudy.  
Scully was not the gaudy type. He knew he really should have 
thought about this before he'd stepped into the middle of all this 
love and used those profiling skills the suits above him lamented 
the loss of, but the thought of profiling Scully made him feel slightly 
nauseous.  He might know her better than he knew anyone else, but 
using what he considered to be an aberration was something he 
was not going to let happen. Besides, he sometimes thought that 
whatever he did he would always be clueless where Scully and 
romance were concerned. 
 
He thinks he should just pick one and have done. Just close his 
eyes, stick out his hand and trust his romantic side to whatever 
divine forces may rule over him... Just close his eyes and...

'Excuse me...'

He knows that voice. He feels it must be the sign he was looking 
for and grasps the card brushing his fingers.

'Mulder?'

He realises the voice is quite loud, too loud for an ethereal 
goddess and not very deity like at all.

He opens his eyes to see a vision.  He realises he can't even pick 
a card without it turning out a mess.   

'Hi.'  It's all he can think to say.

Scully looks at him. She is a little flushed and he notices 
something cardlike in her hand just as she starts to move 
it down and behind her back. He heart sinks as he wonders 
who it's for.

So there they stand, Mulder the Valentine Virgin with his hand on a 
'A Valentines wish for my Grandpa' card and Scully the 
uncomfortable with her Valentine card hidden in plain sight 
behind her back. 

'Mulder... You don't have a Grandpa. Do you?' Scully recovers 
quickly.

'Ah no.  No I don't.  I thought it was a nice picture, so...'
He stuffs the card back in the rack and clears his throat.
'What are you doing here?  I thought you were going to pick 
up your cleaning?'

Scully flushes again and now it's her turn to clear her throat.
'Erm - yes.  Yes I was.  I... I thought I'd come in here and get a 
card for... For Matthew' she swallows and finally looks up into 
Mulder's face, bringing the card from behind her and flashes 
the back of it at him. 'Better go and pay for it so I can get to 
the cleaners...'  She turns, about to throw a 'See you back 
at the office' over her shoulder.

Mulder grabs at the card before she can stop him. He doesn't believe 
the Matthew cover story for a minute.  Scully has never been able 
to lie with any kind of success. Well, not to him, anyway.  And he 
wants to see the kind of card she sends, because it'll be the only 
way he'll get to see it. Mulder knows she'll be pissed at him, but 
he's not big on rational thought at the moment, thanks to a healthy 
injection of irrational jealousy. Scully protests, trying to grab the 
card back, but fails.  She, if possible goes even pinker.

Mulder's heart sinks.  This is not the card you send to a nephew. 
Damn.
It's plain and classy, no sugar-dipped verse, but cool and calm and 
most surely for a grown up. Precisely what he'd expect her to pick, 
Scully in folded A5 heavy gauge cream card.
Double damn.

'I'm sure MATTHEW will love his card. Even if it won't reach him in 
time now.'
Mulder pushes down the sick feeling, but even he winces at the 
sarcasm in his voice.  He turns. Breaking his Valentines cherry 
seems pointless now.
It won't be happening this year. 
'I'll see you back in the office.'

'Mulder'  she sighs his name as he moves away.

He's almost made it to the door, when he feels a hand on his arm, 
slightly tugging at his sleeve. He closes his eyes and stops. He 
really does not want to hear all about whoever-he-is in a 
Hallmark store. He really does not want to hear about 
whoever-he-is full stop. 

'Mulder, stop.' That hand is still tugging at his sleeve, but he 
doesn't turn around. 'Look, you're right. You're right. This isn't 
a card for Matthew'  Scully stops tugging on his coat.

Mulder has an uncomfortable urge to put his hands over his ears and
chant 'La La La I'm not listening', but thinks this is not really the best 
thing to do. 

'Mulder, for goodness sakes!  I know what you're thinking... And God 
knows why I should care what you think - this is none of your 
business, you know. I can buy a card whenever for whomever I 
want.  Mulder, look at me for Gods sake!' 
He almost smiles.
There is that note of Scully impatience he would normally secretly 
delight in, but not this time.  He turns to see not an entirely 
pissed off Scully, but a concerned Scully.

'The truth is, this wasn't a card for Matthew.  This was a card that 
I was  hoping to send to someone - someone who I hoped would 
guess it was from me and maybe do something about it.'  She is 
staring very hard at the top button of Mulder's coat.

Mulder feels like a heel, making her uncomfortable about this. She 
should be able to send a card to whomever she wants.  All he ever 
wants is for her to be happy, whatever it takes.

'Look, Scully.  You don't have to explain to me. Really. It's a nice 
card.  Send it.  Whoever it is for, they are very lucky.'  Mulder 
puts a hand on her shoulder.  He can do this, he thinks. Please 
just don't tell me about it, Scully. Don't tell me about him.

Scully seems flustered again. She is now staring at his left earlobe.

'I can't'  She says very quietly.

'Scully... Of course you can - I'm sorry, you were right.  This was 
NOTHING to do with me at all and...'

Scully finally looks him in the eye.  All Mulder can think when she 
does is 'Blue'

'No, you don't see. I can't send it. I can't send it because the 
person I was buying it for has seen it now, and it won't be a 
surprise anymore'  

Mulder blinks.
Scully, his earnest, sober Scully looks at him. She smiles, 
tentatively.
Mulder blinks again.
He then hears a loud 'Pop'

'I'm sure he wouldn't care. He really wouldn't care. Not at all.'  He half 
stammers, grinning.

Scully looks down, smiling widely.
'I know, I know.  I'm sure he wouldn't. But I don't want him to have 
the surprise spoiled completely.  So.  So I need to think of 
something different.  Do you think he'd mind?'

All Mulder can do is shake his head.
He is still smiling stupidly, looking for all the world like one 
of the crazy guys he used to profile.

'That's good to know, Mulder, really good. So, I'll see you back at 
the office?'

This time Mulder can only nod and watch as she runs her hand 
down his arm by way of a goodbye, stopping to squeeze his 
hand quickly, then turns and dives back into the sea of sentiment 
behind her.

Mulder can only think two things - One, losing his Valentines cherry 
was wonderful and two...  Where was the nearest florist?