From: Scully4946@aol.com
Date: Sun, 3 Jun 2001 15:52:23 EDT
Subject: Chicken Run
Source: direct

Mulder's apartment
12:04 a.m.

Special Agent Fox Mulder was lying on the couch, going through a prolonged 
state of Scully-withdrawl. It had been a whole five hours since he had last 
seen her! How would he manage the whole stinking weekend?! So, he decided 
that he would fake an interest in a case that didn't even exist. First, he 
called the local chicken farm and ordered a crate of 600 chickens. They 
arrived at the apartment at around 5:06 a.m. Once the stupid, nosy 
deliverymen left, he drugged every single one of the chickens and set them 
loose onto the streets of Washington D.C. He laughed demonically, but calmed 
down when it was time to call Scully.
"Scully."
"Scully, it's me. Something horrible and out of the blue just happened this 
morning. I can't explain it. Just get over here as fast as you can."
"But Mulder....." she was cut off by the dialing tone. "Geez, I am really 
getting sick of that." She got dressed and put on her running shoes. You 
might be asking,"Why doesn't she just drive to Mulder's?" Well, sadly enough, 
we do not know the mysterious reason for that. So, on with the plot. 
Unfortunately, the minute she stepped out of her building, a herd of chickens 
piled on top of her. Being exposed to drugs, the chickens were given 
superhuman power. I know, how dumb is that? Well, I need to give this story 
more of a meaning to it. They started screaming at Scully in frightening 
unison.
"Give us our cornbread!" the screamed over and over again. I'm really not 
sure what my obsession is with herd of animals running of Scully, but you 
know, every writer has a writer's block now and then. Mine just seems to 
occur more then usual. Anyways, since Scully was temporarily paralyzed by the 
weight of all these chickens, she was unable to acquire the much needed 
cornbread. Sure enough, Mulder walked out of the elevator carrying a box of 
cornbread. 
Not bothering to notice the pile of chickens, Mulder said,"Hey, Scully! I 
just got the most delicious recipe from the Smoking Man! Who knew that he was 
still alive and such a whiz when it came to cooking?" Well, to say the least, 
the chickens ate all the cornbread, Mulder cried over his loss, and Scully 
went on to save the entire universe from the dark clutches of the secret 
shadow government.

The moral of this story is to stay away from any inanimate objects that start 
screaming,"You can never come back!" It's not usually something that brings 
anyone comfort.