From: Ten Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2000 10:15:03 +1100 Subject: "A Chip Off The Old Fox" (1/2) by Ten (Daniel/Couch Universe) Source: xff TITLE: "A Chip Off The Old Fox" (1/2) BY: Ten E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au CATEGORY: V; MT of sorts; MSR; Lone Gunmen Angst; H RATING: PG-13 SUMMARY: On what is supposed to be a wild night in, the Lone Gunmen find themselves on babysitting duty instead. TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: This is set in Macspooky and my "Daniel/Couch" series, about a month or two after the events of "Housewarming". It can be read as a standalone: Mulder and Scully have bred and wed. This series and universe diverts from the show after the events of "Emily" in the fifth season. Some aspects of the following seasons are kept, but baby Daniel was named long before the episode "all things" was written, and seeing as it is unlikely Dana would have named her child after that guy, that past history for her does not count here. The usual sexual endurance disclaimer still applies here, but it's a PG-13. ARCHIVE INFO: It goes to Gossamer through xff. Can be archived anywhere as long as my name, addy and disclaimer stay intact. FEEDBACK: Always great to know who's out there in the ether! THANKS TO: All those who have been waiting for the next in the Couch series. Thanks for your patience! And to Mac, as always, Gerry and Vickie for insider knowledge, and Debbie. My website for all my X-Files fanfiction (including all the Couch series), thanks to the wonderful Skyfox, is now at http://tenxffic.tripod.com DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, the episodes referred to, Mulder and Scully and all other characters from the show belong to Chris Carter, the writers of the episodes, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. Characters not recognised from the show are mine or Mac's. The X-Files: "A Chip Off The Old Fox" (1/2) By Ten, 20 September - 28 November 2000 xXx Tonight's the night. And it is going to be GREAT! We've been planning this for weeks. Langly has been shopping, Frohike has been cooking and I've been setting the office up for it. This is going to be the best poker/cheese steaks/video games/guys-night-in we have ever had. Now that Mr and Mrs Scully-Mulder are completely settled into their house and our schedules are aligned, Dana has given Mulder permission and time off to spend the night here. I phoned him yesterday to confirm it was still on. He assured me that it was, but... I'm not sure. My writer's instincts told me that something was up. He sounded strange. Unless it was a bad cellular line. Or, knowing Mulder and Dana, I interrupted them at a rather...delicate stage. Then again, they seem to be always at some stage of that stage. Having a child is supposed to put a spanner in those works. It just seems to have speeded those two up. I guess they do have five years of holding out to make up for. Though Langly suggested - albeit not in Dana's presence - that their answering machine message should be: "We're not out at the moment, we're very much *in*. We'll get back to you as soon as we come - er, can." Perhaps they're making up for missing tonight's session. Who knows? Musing on that, I do a final circuit of the room, checking that the computers are all positioned and ready for when we have a networked game of 'Doom'. Once we eat, the table will quickly be transformed into poker central. I look towards the kitchen. Clanking can occasionally be heard over the blaring radio. I could offer to help, but it is best to stay out of Melvin's way when he's in there. Langly is in the bedroom getting changed. One of these days we'll move our HQ to a place that has more room instead of being forced to share the bedroom when we're here working on an issue or whatever, but we usually sleep in shifts so that time and space can be used to maximum benefit. All for the service of the truth. A quick glance at the clock confirms the time. Mulder will be turning up at any minute. I think we're ready. Just like old times. Well, mostly. We haven't really managed a night like this since Mulder and Scully got together. Things just happened so fast. Lovers, pregnant, married, parents, homeowners... So, unlike old times, Mulder will actually be happy. As in REALLY soul-deep happy, instead of walking around with large pieces missing from his heart. He's not going to be sitting there, nursing a beer and his hand of cards, contemplating the unreachable Agent Dana Scully and all the angst he's put her through. How she'd never fall for a loser like him. It makes me think of Susanne, and wonder... No. No pining of my own. At least not for tonight. Where was I? Yes, things have changed for the better for our friend. "Far out, is THAT Mulder?" Startled, I look at Langly. I hadn't heard him come out of the bedroom. But he is standing near me and staring at the video monitor we have over the entrance door. Mulder is framed on the screen. Or at least a zombie who resembles Mulder. He reaches for the buzzer and fumbles with it a bit before managing to work it. With his other hand, he rubs at his face and yawns. With his eyes half- closed like that, it's lucky one of his fingers doesn't put an eye out. I hurry for the door and undo the locks and open it to reveal that Mulder looks even worse in the flesh. "Hi," he manages quietly, shuffling past me, his head nearly slumped against his chest. Langly is staring at his red-rimmed eyes and hair that is sticking out like the Statue of Liberty's crown. "Geez, what happened - you get robbed? Or jumped by Scully as you headed out the front door, wanting a different kind of stick-up?" Mulder stares at him vaguely, as if trying to place him, then a light goes on in his brain. "Danny's teething again." "So you didn't get much sleep last night?" I ask. "Tuesday," Mulder says with all seriousness. "I'm pretty sure I got ten minutes solid sleep on Tuesday. That was good." Today's Friday. "Oh," remarks Frohike from the kitchen doorway, resplendent in his gingham apron. "Then I guess you won't feel like raging too much tonight." That comment seems to rouse our friend. "No! No, guys, I've been looking forward to this for ages! Fro's food will perk me up, then I'll be ready for some hot poker, and I can always sleep in tomorrow." Langly gives Mulder a quizzical look. "Scully let you come out when the kid's teething?" "She said that I needed the break. And Mom's going to be there tonight, so that'll take some pressure off Dana." Mom as in Maggie, of course. Though apparently Teena is showing more interest now. So we Lone Gunmen and the Not-So-Lone Anymore G-man start off our evening. Langly and Frohike serve up our feast - which will be supplemented through the night with plenty of potato chips, burritos, popcorn saturated with butter and so on. Mulder does seem to perk up, putting away his food, laughing uproariously (and nearly spitting Pepsi out his nose) at Langly's descriptions of antics that he and his latest date are getting up to. We won't get any bragging or tales like that out of Mulder. Not even if he gets drunk, which he won't. He just sits there and radiates contentment. As Melvin says to me in the kitchen when we're about to bring more food out, we can't even call Mulder a smug bastard. He keeps the facts private. Well, apart from with his neighbours, who don't have soundproofing. Yet. The dishes have been cleared away - heaped up in the sink for later, much later - and now we can play poker. But as the first hand is dealt, I can see that Mulder is drooping again. His arm is heavily supporting his head and he squints at the cards. "Mulder, perhaps-" "I'm fine!" he says immediately, sitting bolt upright. Frohike snorts as he arranges his chips. "We don't believe that one from you or your wife." "Shut up and play." So we do. Mulder's concentration is so poor that we stop before he loses enough to pay for a new house. "I'll be better at Doom," he promises, and is 'blown away' three times in quick succession. I hope he's not doing any fieldwork at the moment... Mulder stares at the 'Game over' message on the screen. "Damn," he says softly. "Time to bring out the big guns." With that comment and a magician's flourish, Langly produces a magazine. It might even be one that Mulder transferred into our possession when he and Scully got married. "This might be the cure." Langly opens it up and gives Mulder an eyeful of one hot and naked babe who is lying on a king-sized bed. Waiting. Beckoning. Mulder stares fixedly at the image. "Man... That bed looks *really* comfortable." He gives a sigh of longing. "Okay," I say, motioning to Langly to put the magazine away so that I can concentrate. "Come on, Mulder. You can crash on the spare bed." "No, guys..." He stops and sighs again, accepting the hopelessness of the situation at last. "I'm sorry. I was really looking forward to tonight." "There'll be plenty of other nights. Get some sleep now, and we might be able to pick this up in the morning before Scully comes for you." "You guys sure you don't mind?" We chorus our affirmations and steer him to the bedroom. He's down and out for the count in seconds, after a heartfelt "Thanks..." The three of us try to resume our poker game. We're really getting into it when the buzzer goes again. We look around at the monitor. "Mrs Zombie and the Tooth Monster," Frohike says, scrambling up to let them in. He's right. Dana looks exhausted too. She's hefting one of those baby carriers that is a carseat and cradle all in one. Daniel is in it, securely strapped. The baby looks like he's on the verge of howling. "Hi, guys. Sorry to interrupt," Scully says, shuffling in. She looks around the room. I hope Langly has put that magazine away. Now I can also see that she's got a large baby bag over one shoulder. Melvin rushes to assist her, and she gratefully lets him take the bag. "Thanks." I hastily clear the surface of the nearest table. Dana decides that it looks sturdy enough and places the carseat on it, then rubs her neck. "Where's Mulder?" "He's out the back -" I begin. She shakes her head. "You men and your bladders. He went just before he came here..." "No -" I begin. "Got a bit of a crisis happening, fellas," she informs us before we can correct her. "One of Mom's friends has become ill and Mom's at the hospital with her. They need me for about an hour or so, two at the most. I can't take Danny. I've got the taxi waiting outside, so can you tell Mulder that I'm sorry and I'll be back as soon as I can so you boys can keep revelling. Danny should fall asleep soon anyway. I have to run. Thanks, guys. Bye, Fox Cub. Mommy won't be long. Have fun with Daddy and your uncles." As she is saying all this, she puts the bag on the table next to her son, kisses him on his forehead, blows a kiss to us, and races out the door. "Okay..." Frohike says, shutting the door. It's like a tornado has just whisked in and out. As one, the three of us turn to look at Daniel. He stares back from his 'throne', sniffling and grizzly, his cheeks red. This child is a Mulder-Scully. Any second now he's going to realise just who he's been left with and start howling, which I don't think will do his sore gums a world of good. And judging by the expression on his face, the 'fall asleep' soon assurance appears to be wisful thinking on his mother's part. END PART ONE OF TWO. TITLE: "A Chip Off The Old Fox" (2/2) BY: Ten E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au xXx "Hey, Dan the Man," Langly says with false bravado, going up to the baby carrier carseat thingie. "How they growing?" Scully-eyes peer back at him out of the face of a minature Mulder. Daniel whimpers, his fists bunched. "Hey, none of that - you'll wake your dad, and he really needs the rest. We'll look after you." Langly pats Daniel on the top of his head. "I know that getting your teeth must be a bitch, but think of all the new things you can do with them!" I feel uncomfortable. "Ringo, don't say that in front of him." "What? Bitch?" I wince. Langly rolls his eyes. "Calm down, JFB. He's a baby, not a parrot. Plus he's only, what, six months old. Seven? Slightly preverbal." "Seven. And he's the offspring of Dana and Mulder. If he suddenly recited our entire conversation word for word, or 'Hamlet', I wouldn't be surprised." Daniel has certainly got Mulder's curiosity, always looking around at things, reaching out. God knows what he's going to be like when he starts crawling... Danny batters listlessly at the string of brightly coloured toys that hangs across his carseat thingie. His expression seems to state, "Oh God, bad enough that my mouth's killing me, now Mom's up and left me with the dweebs". Then he yawns, screwing his face up at the pain. I get a view of the two bottom teeth he'd been making do with - and managing with them quite well, if the chew marks I noticed on Mulder's leather jacket were anything to go by. Or perhaps those marks were courtesy of Dana... Daniel's yawn also allows me to see swollen redness on his gum. I flinch in sympathy. Looks like some top ones are trying to come through. Not only does the poor kid have to live with the ectoplasmic goo that passes for baby food, but as Mulder mentioned at some stage tonight, those teeth are coming through a bit late, which makes it harder on the baby. Like father, like son. Nothing the easy way. "Let's see if we can get him to sleep." Frohike stands next to me, pulling faces and doing funny voices. I guess it's time to see if we can live up to our 'three stooges' nickname. Not impressed with the three ring circus, Daniel lets out a cry, then gets taken aback by our chorus of frantic 'shushes'. We look desperately at the closed door to the bedroom. Nothing stirs. I lean over the carseat and to my surprise I manage to easily undo the safety harness. I guess they make it that way - childproof, but not impossible for poor befuddled fathers. Once that is out of the way, I lift Danny out and up. This is my good suit - well, all of my suits are good - but under the circumstances, I'll have to risk some baby dribble. I have a good drycleaner. "I'll take you on a tour of the room, hey?" I add to the guys, "I think motion might wear him out. Perhaps find one of our taped conversations with Mulder. Hearing his voice might help." "Gotcha." Langly heads off to search our extensive archive. If we can just get the baby asleep, then he'll be happy, and Mulder can keep sleeping and we can still play poker. Daniel squirms in my arms, looking shy. I've held him before, but always with either his mother or father present or both, and those times the baby was always quite happy to be handed to someone new. That curiosity again. But I guess he's growing out of that phase now. He looks like he might pitch a fit. I'd better get moving. I begin my circuit, holding Danny so that he can see properly. Again thoughts of Susanne come into my mind. Mulder and Scully getting together like this makes me...wish? Wonder? I decide that I'd better talk instead of think. "This is the CD burner, this is the printer, this is the zoom lens camera that I took some fantastic shots of a government coverup with - that was our biggest selling issue. This is a really neat computer that we can use one day to hack into your school files and change your grades. Though I don't think that will be necessary. And when you're a teenager, all this equipment will be obsolete." Even as I'm talking - rambling really, but I guess my tone is the most important thing, lulling him to sleep hopefully - I'm amazed by this child. Yes, I have held miracles in my hands before. The chip that saved his mother's life, for one. And all children are special. The odds they have to overcome just to be created, to develop, to be born hale and hearty... Even though it happens countless times over, every day all around the world, and has been happening ever since humanity evolved. This kid scoops the pool though. It was miraculous enough that his parents actually got together in the first place. I've never seen two people more meant to be together, but huge obstacles kept getting put in their way - both by others and themselves... I remember when we first found out that Scully was pregnant. At that stage Melvin, Ringo and I knew that she and Mulder had finally acted on their feelings - we had been sure that them sharing an apartment after Dana's burnt down would help collapse the final walls. The destruction of Mulder's famous leather couch was strong evidence of our theory. So one weekend a few months later when the two of them arrived here looking happy but secretive, I assumed it was because they were still basking in their new relationship or even due to the possibility of a new and intriguing X-File, as they wanted to get any research we had pertaining to Mulder's latest phenomenon of the week - he wanted enough to get Skinner to agree on an investigation. If he didn't, I was sure Mulder would go ahead anyway. I brought some data up on screen, then realised that although Mulder was peering at it over my shoulder with interest, Scully wasn't. She was staring fixedly at something else. I turned to look. She was looking at Melvin, who was munching contentedly on a Hershey bar. That was all he was doing, but Dana kept staring at him. Or rather, at the bar. I thought she was going to make some comment that he should have a more healthy snack, however, as Frohike noticed her unnerving scrutiny, I realised she was almost...well, not quite salivating, but close enough. Melvin slowly stopped chewing and swallowed nervously. I'm sure he wished that he was the one she was giving ravenous looks at, not the remains of his treat. "Uh... Scully, there should be another one still on the kitchen bench if you want -" He got no further before she bolted into the kitchen. I turned to seek Mulder's reaction to all this and see if he could offer some enlightenment, but then a howl issued from the kitchen and Scully reappeared in the doorway. She was holding a Hershey six pack - an empty six pack. Her expression was grim. Langly's gulp was clearly audible. "I ate the last bar when I was in there getting some juice be-" "How could you be such insensitive pigs?" she yelled. I wondered if she was about to pull her gun. "You don't even have a bite size bag left?" Mulder raced to her side, hands out placatingly. "It's okay, it's okay. I'm sure the guys have plenty of other snack food in there that you can munch on." She looked at him like he was depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. "I WANT Hershey bars!" "Okay, I'll go grab some for you," he said immediately. What was this? Could I believe my ears? Special Agent Dana Scully suddenly placing such vital import on a snack food? And she was nothing if not a strong, independent women - so why couldn't she just go get some herself? Then a little voice inside my head answered that in these circumstances, it was traditionally the male's job. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out: "Oh God, you're pregnant!" "Yes!" she yelled at me, almost defiantly. "And you're going to be a eunuch if I don't get a Hershey bar soon!" That threat didn't alarm me as much as it might have, because my brain was in shock and relief modes at her news. Considering what I knew of Scully's infertility, saying what I had and then being wrong about it would have caused a lot of pain and uncomfortableness. Dana wasn't finished with us. In fact, she started to cry. "It's bad enough that you tossed out the couch that the baby was conceived on -" At this news Langly's eyebrows shot up and Melvin shifted in his seat, no doubt recalling that the couch that we had been sure we could salvage had soon sent a spring right into his... Well, let's just say that it was a visit to the ER I will never forget. So, that was quite an announcement. And fortunately when I produced my stash of Twinkies it was enough to mollify Scully for the time being and take the edge off her craving while Mulder went for some Hershey bars. We then had a celebration of our friends' great fortune and happiness. "I'm very sorry that we threw the couch out, Scully. We had no idea - well, I mean we knew how it must have gotten trashed in the first place -" At that I realised that my diplomacy and sense of preservation must have remained in bed that morning and that I should promptly join them. Providing Scully let me live. But thankfully her hormones and humour were on an upswing or something, because she smiled and laughed. "You weren't to know. We were all set to throw it out until you said that you could fix it. And we got a much more comfortable couch instead. Extremely durable." She gave a very unladylike grin. xXx Now if we can just mollify the baby as easily... Langly has managed to find a tape - fittingly the call that Mulder made to us in the early hours of last Christmas morning, to announce Daniel's arrival. Hearing Mulder's voice provides some distraction for Daniel, and he quiets. But he's still awake and fractitious. "I thought Dana said he was due to zonk out?" Frohike says. "Wishful thinking, most likely." I consider causes and possible solutions. "Well, he's in strange surroundings. He's probably feeling unsettled. Perhaps we should read to him." Langly gives me the 'you nark' look. "Read to him from what - a recent issue or a UFO spotters handbook or from an issue of Celebrity Skin?" Danny starts making noise, struggling in my arms. Frohike leans in. "Oh, come on, buddy. Work with us, huh? We're the good guys." He pats the baby on the cheek. We all freeze. Frohike is wearing this 'did I just do that I didn't mean to and tell me it isn't anywhere near the sore spot...' pleading look. Cue one very loud, very long, indignant howl. Damn. We'd been doing so well. Before I can take any action, the bedroom door flies open and Mulder emerges. That's a pretty good word, actually. He really does look like he's emerging from the grave. When we put him to bed he was half asleep - he's pretty much asleep now. But his son is crying and so Fox Mulder is on autopilot. He takes the baby from me without asking how he got here or acknowledging my existence or demanding to know what I did or didn't do to cause this. It's not that Mulder is angry at me or anything - Daniel's cries are just blotting out everything else. Mulder walks and rubs and whispers and rocks and rummages in the baby bag, pulling out some sort of ointment that he deftly administers. Within a few minutes, Danny is quiet. One lap of the room later, he's asleep. At this point, Mulder looks around the room. Cradling his son, he frowns in puzzlement. "Where's his bed?" "Um, here." I point at the carseat. It's about all that's available, unless Mulder takes him into the bedroom. But none of the beds have rails on the sides, and if the baby decides to roll... Mulder settles his son in the seat and automatically refastens him in, then covers him with a blanket from the bag. He looks down at him with pride that still has a touch of awe about it. Then he leans against the table, blinking blearily. Time for me to step in. "I think it's time to put Mulder Senior to bed too." Frohike and I guide him back to the bedroom. No rocking required. Back in the main room, Langly is fiddling with the video camera. He speaks in a hushed whisper, "Okay, I recorded what he did. So if Dan the Man wakes up again, we'll know the drill, the routine." Frohike asks, "What tape did you use?" "The one that was in there." "Ringo! That was a tape of that hot game of beach volleyball I recorded last week! Dammit!" "Shhhh, you'll wake them!" I hiss. We settle down to resume our poker. We find ourselves putting the cards down on the table with infinite care and not clinking the chips. A little while later a smell pervades the air. At first I assume it is one of my compatriots. But they are giving me the same look. We all come to the truth at the same moment as the source wails for his problem to be taken care of. We turn expectantly and look at the bedroom door. Nothing. Danny screams louder. Still nothing. His father is probably in a coma. Actually, that's probably close to the truth. Mulder does have that hour or so of sleep most nights where he's so out to it... "We can't leave Danny like that," I say. The other two nod. We can't. But which one of us is going to change him? We all get up and go to stand in a semi circle around Daniel, hesitating. I feel about as much terror as I did the time Mulder had me with him when he broke into that clinic looking for clues to Scully's cancer. "Shortest straw?" Langly suggests. "This is ridiculous!" I explode. "We've done a lot of things for Mulder over the years. Hacked into government files, broken into secret facilities... We can do this." Langly explains, "I know how to beat a security system. But... I've never really been around kids. My sister lives in England with her pack. And besides...um...she mentioned sometime that teething is supposed to cause the runs in infants. Major league." Oh great. Even for us, there is such a thing as too much information. Frohike turns to Langly. "Your kung fu is the best. YOU change the diaper." "Okay," I say, rummaging in the bag. "We'll ALL change it." xXx As I come to, I become aware that my ears are ringing. Loudly. I guess Daniel's screams are still vibrating round in my head... Ringing AND buzzing, actually. The phone. The phone and the doorbell. Groggily I fumble for the nearest phone. The door can wait - just picking up the phone is taking all of my energy. "Lugumen..." "What the hell is going on?" Scully's voice demands stridently in my ear, at the same time as my vision clears enough to bring her into focus on the monitor above the door. "Open the door!" "'k'..." I forget to release the phone as I get up and stagger forwards. And it's not a cordless. I nearly garrotte myself while her voice keeps pounding in my ear. "Are you all drunk? You weren't when I dropped Danny off. Okay, I'm late, but I wasn't THAT long. And I left a message. Mulder wasn't answering his cell. Do you mean that you STILL all got drunk anyway, despite Danny being there? I thought you had more sense than that! He'd better be all right!" I drop the phone and disentangle myself and reach the door - all at basically the same time, while throwing a look over my shoulder. Daniel is perched in his carseat, serene and secured, giving me a 'Momma's gonna get you' look. "He's fine, Scully." "Come ON!" Scully yells through the door as I'm fumbling with the locks. "I've had quite an evening and I just want to go home." My scrambled mind is missing its common sense gland. "If you were so frantic, why didn't you pick the lock?" "The LOCKS, thank you, very much." True, I don't think she would have had the patience for it. Another few minutes and she just would have battered the door down. "Not to mention set off God knows what as your security system." As I pull the door open, I hear the bedroom door opening and Mulder's dazed-but-awake voice reaches me. "Guys, was I dreaming, or is Danny here -" Mulder and Dana both step into the room from their opposite ends, then stop. Stunned. Being parents, their eyes immediately hone in on their precious offspring. Then, seeing that he is there and okay, their gazes travel over the room. What was once, just a few hours ago, the headquarters of the Lone Gunmen, before we became the Diaper Brigade. The indoor snowstorm is pretty noticeable. When we were changing the diaper, we couldn't find any talcum powder in the baby bag, which surprised us. Langly went to get some from the bathroom, hurrying because we didn't think we could 'reseal' Daniel up until we'd dusted him down. But just when Langly got back into the room, he accidentally popped the top off the container. It was like dropping ink into a bathtub. My beard now has a distinguished old man look to it. That can be fixed easily enough, but getting the powder out of the keyboards and computer circuits, less so. Though in one way the accident proved to be a blessing because when we phoned Langly's sister for some help, she informed us that talc isn't used these days because infants tend to inhale it. I think Langly went to the laundry to get the spit up out of his favourite t-shirt. And to dump our makeshift diaper pail far, far away. We both paid him to do it. Especially when his factoid about teething children proved to be oh so accurate. At least we know the sites where the government dumps its toxic waste. He'd better get back here soon. Frohike is fast asleep, his head resting on our poker table. He's got marks on his face from the scuba mask he insisted on wearing when we took the diaper off, and the peg he had on his nose, and bandaids on his finger from where Danny decided to have a taste test. Or a protest. Even just two bottom teeth can give a sharp nip. Melvin turns his head in Scully's direction like a sunflower turns towards the sun, and one of the playing cards and a poker chip are stuck to his face, probably through baby drool super glue. I'm sure the nervous twitch his left cheek spontaneously developed will go after a few child-free days. As for me, apart from my Santa Claus beard, I've got the bandaids from stabbing myself with a safety pin. Oh well, better my flesh than sticking the pin anywhere in Mulder's little miracle. And the word 'good' no longer applies to the suit I am wearing. "I kept the blue blanket on him because it's the lightest I figured in this weather and it's the one you had on him, Mulder, and you'd know, being his parents and all and I wiped the corner where he was a little ill on it." I give details of how much Daniel has had from his bottle. "And Langly's gone to get more diapers since you were using double cloth ones. Too bad he's allergic to disposables. Danny, I mean, not Langly." Mulder and Scully are staring at me like I'm talking Plutonian. I just want to make sure they know everything so they can take the baby and then not have to phone me up in the middle of the night - heck, the day, I'm sleeping for the next two straight - to ask me something. Scully's mouth is open, her hand hovering near it. Mulder blinks hard. Laughter rings out. It's coming from the carseat. Delighted laughter. Danny is kicking his legs in merriment, as if to say, "I want to do that again!" I guess his teeth must be feeling better. I'm sure he's laughing not only because of that and being clean - he's enjoying the havoc he's created. Or the fun, from his point of view. Though when a baby giggles like that, it does warm the heart, no matter what they've done. His parents both join in, wending their way around the messes to meet up at the carseat, nearly tripping because they're laughing so hard. Tears are running down Dana's cheeks. Perhaps it's from the powder... "Oh Byers... Oh guys..." She expertly unstraps her son, then lifts Danny up and out, kissing his forehead and looking around at ground zero. Then she hands him to his father and comes over to give me a kiss. "We can never thank you enough. You've outdone yourselves this time." "Well, we're his uncles. We've got to learn how to help him. It'll just be more fun when we can sit him at a computer." THE END (PART TWO OF TWO). The tooth is in there . Note: My website has had for a while in the Daniel/Couch section that the story "Bedbugs" is 'coming soon'. It is still on the agenda, but has been pushed back a bit - especially since I've been getting ideas for stories that are chronologically set before it in the series. If you would like to be kept updated about progress and postings of this series or the New Millennium Universe with Vickie Moseley or any of my standalone stories, I now have a mailing list for that purpose. Details are on my website, thanks again to Skyfox!