From: scullyesque@thexfiles.com
Date: 12 Jan 2001 12:37:45 -0800
Subject: 5 Fic Submissions
Source: direct


The Choice
by Stephanie Hoerner

Spoilers/Timeline: Set immediately at the end of the Season 7
"Millenium" episode, so there's a major spoiler if you haven't
seen that one yet.
Rating: PG-13
Catagory: MSR, Angst, Slightly Alternate Universe
Feedback happily accepted at: scullyesque@thexfiles.com
Archive: Anywhere, just let me know and keep my name, email and header atta
ched.
Disclaimer: These characters are not, nor will they ever be,
mine. They belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions, and the
wonderful folks at Fox.

A special thanks to Mala at From Slayer to Killer
(http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/6856) for beta
reading this and not totally deflating me.

The Choice

PART 1

They stood together, but each alone. The late-night buzz of the
hospital surrounded them as they watched the final countdown.
Then at last it was midnight, and both let out pent-up breath
they didn't realize they'd been holding, watching the couples in
Times Square kiss and throw confetti. Mulder looked down at
Scully, her face ethereal in the flickering light of the
television.

She felt him staring, and when she looked up at him, her green
eyes were unreadable, and a slight smile was on her lips. He
decided to do what he'd always wanted to do. He leaned forward,
placing the barest of kisses on her lips. He caught her off-
guard, he realized. Her mouth was slightly open in a gasp of
surprise, and he increased the pressure slightly, barely sucking
on her full lower lip before pulling back to look into those
green eyes that now gazed at him with an expression he could
only describe as bemused.

*******************

He was leaning in before she even realized it, and she barely
had time to draw a breath before his lips were on hers,
questioning at first, then more confident, teasing for just a
moment before he backed off. He looked at her for a split second
as if trying to search her soul, then the boyish Mulder-look was
there, and he grinned that sheepish grin.

"Well, the world didn't end, Scully." His double meaning was
obvious.

"No, it didn't."

Great response, Dana, she thought. Any other gems in there? What
the hell is going on with him?
With that thought still revolving in her head, Mulder led her
out of the hospital into the chilly night air.

"Mulder, what was..."
She didn't get a chance to finish, because at that moment,
before she could even react, a man dressed in black was bringing
the stock of a gun down on Mulder's skull. Before she could move
or speak, Mulder was crumpling to the floor and someone had her
rib cage and her mouth in a matching pair of vise grips. The
last thing she saw was Mulder's blood pooling on the cement
under his head as her world went black.

End Part 1

PART 2 - The Choice

'He was running down a long corridor, running , screaming, lost,
looking. He could hear her screaming in terror or pain. He could
hear himself screaming. Then he heard what he was screaming.
"Scully!! Scully, where the hell are you? Scully!!!!! I'm
coming!! Scully!!!" He was crying, banging on locked doors,
running, but he couldn't find her. Couldn't help her. Couldn't
save her. The corridor was dark and endless. The sound of her
fear seemed to come from all around him. Exhausted, he fell to
his knees and released a primal scream born of his own terror
and self-loathing...'


a scream so loud it woke him from his nightmare, sweat-soaked,
head pounding from the blow it had taken, and the dream he'd
just escaped.

"Shit." He knew the simple phrase was an understatement, but it
was the best his aching head could come up with.

He lay there a moment, catching his breath and figuring out
where he was. He quickly started taking inventory, looking for
an escape route. The room was small and sparsely lit, and the
mattress on the floor was the only "furniture." Maybe they
didn't plan on keeping him long. Who'd taken him and what did
they want? Maybe someone who wanted information on an X-File.
Had they taken Scully? Memories of her past kidnapping rushed in
to haunt him. Oh, Jesus. Please let her be okay. She can't
handle this right now. Maybe they hadn't taken her. Maybe she
was okay. Maybe she was looking for him. Maybe she'd save him
for a change. That thought almost made him smile. She'd hate it
if she knew he thought of himself as her protector.

Slowly, testing his vertigo, he sat up and leaned back against
the wall, looking around more fully. No window, no cracks in the
door. Just the bare light bulb overhead.

Then he heard the sound. No, he realized, hear wasn't the right
word. Felt the sound. Felt it in his blood, his fingertips, in
the roots of his hair. It made the wound on his head ache even
more. It was fear, need, panic, helplessness, guilt. But his own
raging emotions weren't the source. Somehow, instantly, he
thought he knew where it came from, but he hoped to Scully's God
he was wrong.

****************

'She curled into a ball, the demons surrounding her. They pulled
at her hair, tore at her clothes, tried to reach into her soul
and take away her very being. She gave up fighting them and just
went into a defensive position. Maybe they'd destroy her, maybe
not. She was about to give up and let them have her when she
looked down and saw the blood. A great puddle of blood spreading
out at her feet. Mulder's blood, she knew. Where was he? But she
knew. Dead. Dead. DEAD. DEADEADEAD. The words became a litany,
and she screamed just to escape them...'

the scream woke her, fetal, huddled in the corner of a tiny
room.

"Nononononono." The words coming from her lips were a barely
audible chant as she came more fully awake. She breathed deep
and tasted musty air. That was enough to pull her out of herself
and make her look up. Where was she? Then memory came flooding
back, ending in the vision of Mulder's blood spreading across
the hospital parking lot.

She could already feel the panic rising in her at the
realization that she had been kidnapped again. Not again. She
couldn't go through this yet another time. What about Mulder?
Maybe they'd just wanted her and left him on the floor,
bleeding. Oh, shit, he was bleeding. Concussion? Was he lying in
that hospital right now in a coma? Calm down, Scully, she told
herself. Worry about what you can fix. Worry about the here and
now. Gingerly, she felt the wound at the back of her own head.
The lump was large, and crusty with dried blood, but she was
lucid enough to be sure she didn't have a concussion, despite
the nightmare.

The room was bare, except for the musty mattress and the heavy
wooden door. Her gun, phone, purse, everything was gone. Oh, no,
she thought and reached for her throat. Gone, too. Her little
gold cross. She could feel herself unraveling. Oddly enough, the
thought that stopped her downward spiral was that Mulder was
coming for her. She realized that she'd never doubted it, from
the moment she'd awoken. Somewhere inside her was the belief
that Mulder would save her, no matter what. She couldn't imagine
even a coma holding Mulder back if he knew she was in danger.

But how could she know? When had she let herself become so
utterly dependent on him? When did he become her savior, sage
and best friend all rolled into one? She tried to toughen her
resolve. She didn't need anyone to take care of her, she was
tough, smart, independent - Her ragged emotions were veering
crazily in all directions.

But what if he was dead and it was all her fault? If someone
killed him to get to her, how could she ever live with that?

"Oh Mulder, please help me. Please. I need you." The words were
a faint whisper as she gave in to the panic that was still
rising in her, curling herself into the corner.

End Part 2

PART 3 - The Choice

He examined the tiny room that he was fairly sure was an old
jail cell, looking for a means to escape. Nothing seemed
possible, unless Mrs. Scully was bringing him a cake with a pick
axe hidden inside.

As he was feeling along the cracks in the wall, he heard
footsteps coming down the corridor outside. They stopped, and
the sound of a deadbolt preceded the door swinging open. A man
in a gray suit stepped into the doorway.

"Agent Mulder. Good to see you awake. How's your head?"

Mulder had a damn good memory, but this man's face and voice
were unfamiliar. He was somewhat young, mid-thirties perhaps. He
had an air of confidence about him, but something else was
there, too.

Mulder managed a contemptuous look. "You're charms are a bit
wasted on me. Who are you? Where is - where am I?" He'd almost
asked about Scully, but decided it was better to let this
mystery man think he didn't care, just in case.

"What, no inquires about your partner? I heard her crying when I
was on my way down here."

Damn, Mulder thought, what else does this guy know?

"Oh, you nabbed her too, huh?" he asked, trying to sound as if
the answer wasn't the most important he would ever hear.

"Oh, yes. She's integral to our plan. You see, Agent Mulder,
this little 'outing' is to convince you to give up the X-Files."
He leaned against the door, ankles crossed, as if having a
casual chat, as if he wasn't asking Mulder to essentially end
his life.

Mulder's head began racing with a thousand thoughts. But the one
in front was 'If I give up, do I get Scully back?' It startled
him with its pure vehemence.

The mystery man continued. "If you agree to leave the Bureau,
leave the X-Files behind, just walk away and disappear from your
current life, we let you go, no harm, no foul." The air was
heavy with a pause and a "catch."

"And if I don't?"

"We kill your charming, feisty little partner. I'd hate to do
it, but necessary measures must be taken. She's fairly
dispensable. But you are important to more people than you
realize. We want you alive, if we can keep you that way. I'll
leave you to think about it."

"Wait. How do I know you actually have Scully?"

The man smiled the smile of the devil. "Smart boy. Recognize
this?" He dropped something on the floor, and shut the heavy
door. A deadbolt hit home.

*********************

She didn't know how long she sat there, rocking on her heels,
pushing down panic and the dream-demons that were creeping in
from her subconscious. Then she heard the sound of the deadbolt,
and her hopes jumped. But the man who appeared wasn't Mulder.

"Well hello, Agent Scully. Don't you looking ravishing?"

She instantly decided bitchy was the way to deal with the cocky
man before her. She drew herself into a standing position, back
still pressed into the corner. Putting a face to the enemy gave
her courage.

"As you obviously know, I am a Federal Agent and there are a
countless number of people who will be looking for me."

"I hope you aren't counting too much on Agent Mulder. He's
indisposed right now, musing over the little offer I just made
him."

"And just what sort of offer might that be?" Scully had a
sinking feeling she already knew, but damned if she show this
bastard.

"I wouldn't worry yourself too much. I think he'll make the
right choice. I know what MY choice would be." The bastard was
practically leering at her, and something in his eyes made her
think the devil breathed through him. Without realizing it, she
pushed herself closer to the wall.

He laughed, a dry and humorless sound. "Have a pleasant evening,
Agent. We'll be back tomorrow to see what your friend Agent
Mulder has decided. Don't worry, it'll be over then, one way or
another." The door closed and Scully was left alone.

******************

Mulder got up and crossed the tiny room. In a tangle on the
floor was a gold chain with a tiny gold cross. Oh, Jesus - He
picked it up and wrapped the chain around his hand, nestling the
cross in his palm. Just having it seemed to bring her closer.
His already racing thoughts picked up speed. Choosing between
Scully and the X-Files. Between Scully and Samantha. Between
Scully and everything that had driven him for years. How could
he make such a choice?

But then he realized there was no question. It was Scully. It
had always been Scully, from the moment she'd walked into his
office, rigid with the "don't touch" fa=E7ade he knew so well.
Even before she came into his life, it had been her. She was the
missing part of him. His other half, his soul mate. He smiled at
the idea, wondering what sort of scientific explanation Scully
would come up with to explain away soul mates. But she was. She
was his rock, she kept him on track, constantly questioning,
making him live up to her high standards. She made him better
than he ever thought he could be. Without her, the X-Files would
have no meaning for him anyway. He trusted her with his life,
and now hers had been entrusted to him. He would die before he
failed her. Somehow he had to get them both out of this alive,
no matter what it took.

Suddenly, he felt the sound again. He was now sure what it was.
Scully, calling to him. Scully, scared, lonely, lost. Soul
mates, he thought, and smiled slightly, looking at the cross in
his hand.

******************

She knew what was coming. She knew the choice Mulder had to
make. Between her and the X-Files. Somehow, she just knew.
Suddenly, her life lay in his hands, and she wondered what he
would decide. She'd never wanted to come between him and his
mission. As many times as she'd tried to talk him out of
conspiracy theories and backwoods stories of alien abductions,
she now believed in the X-Files as strongly as he did. She
didn't want him to give that up. For her or anyone. Certainly
not for some cocky bastard, even if he was threatening her life.

However, she didn't really want to die, either. But a plan
didn't seem to be coming to mind. All she could do was hope
Mulder found a way out of this for them.

In her head, she called out to Mulder again. Then she stopped
herself, the woman she wanted to be taking control.

"What are you doing, Dana Scully?" she asked herself aloud.
"Mulder's not here. You only need one person, yourself. No one
is going to get you out of this but you. You better just get
used to that idea."

End Part 3

PART 4 - The Choice

When Mulder made his decision to walk away from the X-Files, he
made it absolutely. He and Scully would go away, move to Montana
or Vermont, somewhere away from everyone. Join the witness
protection program. Run a ski lodge. Anything. He was ready to
leave it all behind if that was the only way to have Scully.
He lay back on the mattress, at peace with his decision. He only
hoped that this fucker wasn't pulling his chain, and really
intended to let them go. But he and Scully had fooled death so
many times, he figured they could pull if off one more time.

He was still worrying about Scully, hoping she wasn't too
scared, when he realized, rather belatedly, that maybe if he
yelled, Scully could hear him. Maybe she was nearby. He went to
the door, sucked the air into his lungs and screamed,
"Scully!!!"

He heard something, but it wasn't Scully's voice. A man's shout,
footsteps. Shit, the mystery man and his friends were still
here. He stepped back from the door, prepared to defend himself.
But when the door flew open, a tall, balding man was pointing a
gun at him.

"Identify yourself!" the gunman shouted, trained on him.

Mulder put his hands up. "Special Agent Fox Mulder, FBI. Sorry,
I've been relieved of my identification." He could now see the
man was a sheriff.

"Sheriff Barton, Willis County. We heard you were missing. Where
is your partner?"

"I don't know. How the hell did you find us? Are they still
here?"

"By 'they' I assume you mean your kidnappers?" the sheriff
asked. Mulder nodded, already jumping up. He had to find Scully.
"There's no one here but you. And hopefully Agent Scully."
Barton was finishing his sentence as Mulder pushed past him and
out of the room. The corridor looked like it belonged in an old,
old prison - dark, endless - Just like his nightmare. He started
running. He felt her, felt her calling him. Last time he
couldn't find her. This time he would.

****************

Her resolve up, barriers in place, panic finally overcome, she
stood, wincing at her bruised ribs, and began examining the room
for a possible means to escape. The obvious means was the door,
but when she examined it, she found it locked and as solid and
inflexible as a redwood tree. She then started examining the
walls for loose bricks, somewhere she could tunnel out,
anything.

Suddenly, as if outside her body, she saw herself, how
ridiculous she looked, trying to tunnel out of a stone cell. She
gave up, collapsing to the mattress in exhaustion. She pictured
Mulder's face, the sheepish grin he'd worn after he kissed her.
He had somehow managed to look both embarrassed and proud of
himself at the same time. She remembered his lips on hers, that
full lower lip she'd stared idly at so many times while he was
engrossed in a report, oblivious to her. Until this happened,
she'd never realized how often he took care of her in little,
Mulder-type ways. The guiding hand at the small of her back, the
way he protected her, the way he always tried to make her smile
and not take herself so seriously. She trusted him. Why not give
in and love him, too? Could she risk everything? Would loving
him mean risking their lives? She realized that her heart and
mind were crying out to him again, trying to call him to her.
Stop, Dana, she told herself again.

"Scully!! I've lost you! Where are you, Scully??" It couldn't
be, she was hallucinating, dreaming.

"Mulder! I'm here!" She stood, still unbelieving. Then the door
flew open and there he was, disheveled, a little wild-eyed, but
Mulder.

"Oh, Jesus, Scully-" his voice was little more than a breathless
whisper. In two steps he crossed the floor and wrapped her tight
in his arms, her cheek against his chest, his lips in her hair,
her arms going tight around his waist.

"Mulder -  I knew you would find me." Her words were slightly
muffled against his chest, but he heard them. Felt them.
Finally, he was on the Scully frequency. He'd been close before,
but now he was tuned in loud and clear.

His hands were rushing all over her back, as if he was unsure
she was really there. "I'm here, Scully, it's okay. It's going
to be okay. Some sheriff found us, somehow. I didn't really ask
before I took off looking for you. Somebody kidnapped us to get
me to quit the X-Files. You were the bargaining chip."

She didn't need to ask to know what the bargain was. This was
why she'd never allowed herself to get to close to Mulder. This
was why they could never be together. If she wanted to keep
working on the X-Files with him, she couldn't allow herself to
get any closer. She had to maintain the professional distance
they'd mastered in the past six years. She drew away, knowing
that keeping distance between them was the only way they could
stay together.

*******************

When Scully pulled out of his arms, Mulder felt like crying. He
tried to pull her back, but she evaded, quickly leaving the
little cell. He looked down at the little cross still in his
hand, and put it in his pocket. He followed her into the
corridor, and he could see how rigid her back was. The
defenseless Scully he had seen for just a moment had disappeared
and the barriers were back in place. But he had no idea why. He
put his hand at the small of her back to guide her down the
hall, as he so often did. When she stepped away from him,
realization began to hit home.

END PART 4

PART 5 - The Choice

That afternoon they wrote a report for Skinner, including a
description of the "mystery man," as Mulder called him. 'The
Bastard,' Scully thought was more appropriate. Their report also
included the sheriff's statement of how he'd found them. He'd
been merely responding to a call that traffic had been seen at
an abandoned prison, and while looking around, heard Mulder's
shout.

Scully thought. Usually her's and Mulder's reports were much
more complex. An investigation into who the men were, and which
X-File sparked the kidnapping, would be much more difficult.
Luckily, it could wait at least a day.

At last she was home, in her own apartment, soaking in a hot tub
full of cherry-scented bubble bath. Her bruised ribs ached less,
and the lump with three stitches in the back of her head ached
less, too, despite leaving her painkillers untouched on the
bathroom counter.

The water was finally growing cool, and she got out, drying off
and putting on her favorite flannel pajamas, the ones that made
her feel warm and safe. Safe and alone, that was the way to
describe Dana Scully.

She shook off the self-pity and curled up on the couch, hoping
to push the thoughts of Mulder and her loneliness away with a
good movie. She was too exhausted to sleep. She flipped the
channels idly, looking for something interesting, when a knock
startled her.

She went to the door and peeked through the hole. Of course, who
else showed up at her apartment in the middle of the night? She
opened the door to Fox Mulder, holding out a single daisy and
wearing the sheepish grin that was becoming more and more
familiar.

"Agent Mulder, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

***************

He heard the ice in her voice, and steeled himself against it.
He knew she was just scared. Scared of what she'd realized about
herself, about him, during that time alone. Scared of what she
felt, because she thought it was wrong, or dangerous to both of
them. He was determined to get through her defenses. Maybe he
didn't deserve it, but damn if he didn't want it, need it.

"Can I come in? I brought you a present," he said, thrusting the
flower toward her.

"What, no chocolates?" she asked, eyeing him warily, like a
caged animal. Maybe that's what she felt like. Maybe she sensed
what he'd come for.

"What, the Scully that eats only salad has a sweet tooth? Never
would have guessed it."

She smiled slightly, standing aside to let him in and taking the
flower. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Mulder."

"I know." His voice held a thousand meanings. "What are you
watching?"

"Nothing, really, just sort of flipping."

"I know a place that rents great porn," he said mischievously,
rubbing his hands together.

She smiled again, giving him a glimpse of teeth before she
turned away and sat back down on the couch, still holding her
daisy.

"Mind if I sit?"

"Of course not." But as she said it, she scooted to the far side
of the couch, drawing her feet under her. In the flannel
pajamas, she looked about fourteen. Her freckles stood out
slightly, emphasizing how pale her skin was. The kidnapping had
been harder on her than she'd let on. She so wanted to be
strong, but to him she was fragile, delicate, like the flower
she was twirling in her fingers. Something he had to protect,
with his life, if necessary. But he knew she didn't want to hear
that right now.

"You doing okay?" he asked, studying her in the half-light.

"I'm fine, Mulder." Sure, as if he hadn't heard those words a
million times. But he decided to play along.

"Great, well, lets watch a movie or something."

"Did you bring porn?" she asked suspiciously.

"No, actually. I figure there's something good on TV to watch."

Picking up the remote, he started flipping, kicking off his
shoes and making himself comfortable in the other corner of the
couch. When he looked back at her a moment later, she was
watching him with less suspicion and more amusement. "Are we
having a sleep-over?" she asked, continuing to twirl the flower
stem between her hands.

"Well, I personally don't really feel like being alone right
now. How about you?" he asked.

"Well, not particularly, I suppose," she answered reluctantly.

"Okay, well, then, we'll watch a movie and then I'll sleep on
the couch."

End Part 5

PART 6 - The Choice

His plan worked as well as he'd hoped it would. Her exhaustion
and the boring movie he'd chosen finally put her to sleep,
curled like a child into the couch cushions. When he was sure
she was asleep, he leaned over her, picking her up in her arms.
She was as boneless as a baby, and barely stirred. He gathered
her against his chest and lay back on the couch, her small body
tight against his side. He just wanted to touch her some more,
reassure himself that she was safe. He knew that if she was
awake, she'd never allow the barriers between them to come so
far down.

In her slumber, she snuggled into a more comfortable position,
her arms going around his waist in a way that felt familiar. He
frowned in thought a moment, then he remembered. When he found
her in the cell, she'd held him that way. She was so small, her
arms went around his torso instead of his neck. It felt like
something special for just the two of them. It was the way they
fit, as if they'd belong together throughout time.

As he held her in his arms, he put his face to her hair and
inhaled her scent. It took him a moment, then he placed it.
Cherries. She smelled like cherries. It seemed so frivolous and
un-Scully, that it made him smile.

Lying on that couch with this woman in his arms made him feel
both strong and humble. He felt like he would do anything to
protect her and make her love him, even as he knew he didn't
deserve her. Look at all the shit he'd put her through. How many
times had he almost killed her? He put her in danger every damn
day. But why didn't she leave? Take a safe field assignment in
Boise or something. Become a real doctor. Maybe because she felt
a little of what he felt? He was betting on that. Betting it
all. Because if he'd read the signs wrong, it was over, done.
All of it. Their partnership, the X-Files. He knew he couldn't
go on doing it without her.

She moved in his arms, and he sensed she was dreaming. His whole
being was tuned into hers now. Suddenly, she began fighting him,
fighting for all she was worth. Hitting him, kicking him,
screaming, cursing. He thought she had woken and was angry he
was holding her. Then he realized she was still dreaming. He
held her close, pinning her arms and putting a leg over hers to
hold them down.

"Scully, wake up. Wake up, you're safe. I'm here, Scully."

****************

'The demons, they were after her again. More ferocious this
time. They sensed her weakness, her readiness to give in. Then
she saw. There was no blood. And then she changed. She didn't
want to give in. She was going to fight. Mulder was alive,
somewhere. He was coming for her, and she intended to be alive
when he got there. She fought like a wildcat, and just as they
were giving up and letting her be, a voice began calling to
her...'

"Scully, wake up. Wake up, you're safe. I'm here, Scully."
Mulder's voice. She knew he would come.

She felt arms tighten around her, and she began to panic. Then
she realized she was awake and no longer dreaming. The voice
came again.

"It's okay, you're okay..."

She was pinned tight, but she was able to turn her head to look
up into Mulder's eyes. She saw something indescribable and
foreign, before he pressed his lips to her forehead. "You're
safe. Nothing's going to hurt you."

"I know, I'm fine. You can let me up," she said, trying to pull
out of his grasp.

"Not a chance, until I know what your nightmare was about."

"It wasn't a nightmare," she sighed, relaxing against him in
defeat.

"Sure felt like one, from the way you were beating the hell out
of me." His arms around her relaxed somewhat, one hand resting
on the small of her back, the other massaging the tension out of
her neck.

"If you hadn't taken it upon yourself to...to..." she glanced down
at this arms folded around her.

"To what?" he asked archly. "Never mind, you're changing the
subject. Tell me what your dream was about."

"Demons." She said it before she thought. Now he's never going
to leave it alone, she thought.

"Demons? And it wasn't a nightmare?"

"I beat them. I won." She was quiet for a moment.

He could hear the wheels turning in her head. The unspoken
feelings she was wrestling. He had a feeling if he didn't get
them out of her now, he might never. So he decided to take the
leap and tell her. Make it easier for her. The worst that would
happen was she would throw him out of her apartment, thus ending
all his reasons for living, but he wouldn't think about that
now. This was a leap of faith. And if there was one person in
this world or any other he had faith in, it was Dana Katherine
Scully.

"I beat some demons of my own today, Scully. I woke up from a
nightmare in that dirty little room, browbeaten, head aching,
defeated. In my dream, Scully, I was looking for you and I
couldn't find you. I could hear you, in pain and afraid, and I
couldn't help you. Then I felt you, I felt you calling to me.
There's a bond between us, Scully. I don't think science, God,
or the devil himself could explain it, but it's there. You are
everything, Dana Scully. Without you, I'd never have gone this
far with the X-Files. Without you, there is no Fox Mulder." She
started to say something, and he put a finger to her lips. "Just
let me finish. When that man told me I'd have to give up the X-
Files or lose you, I realized there was no choice. Before that
sheriff found us, I'd already decided to give it all up and take
you somewhere safe. I love you, don't you realize that yet? And
then I was given a second chance, and I did find you. But you
helped me, Scully. The whole time I was looking for you, I could
hear you, in my soul, calling me, leading me."

He was staring at the ceiling as he finished, scared to death of
what would be in her eyes if he looked. He could feel her
moving, and he loosened his arms, expecting her to pull away
from him. Instead, he felt her small, warm hand slide up his
chest, trace the tendon in his neck, then come to rest on his
cheek, turning his head back down to face her. For just a
moment, he saw in the green depths of her eyes all that he'd
been hoping for. Love, trust, respect. And many thing he
couldn't even name, but somehow could feel.

But then tears came, and the walls in her eyes slid into place.
"But don't you see Mulder? Things like what happened last night
are why it so dangerous for us to be together. What if I'm used
as a bargaining chip again, or you are?" she asked bitterly,
remembering his phrase of earlier in the day.

"Scully, everyone sees it but us. Those men, whoever they were,
knew how important you are to me, even if we weren't together.
They were counting on me choosing you over the X-Files, since
for some reason or another they don't want me dead just yet. Why
didn't they kidnap my mother? Of course I'd choose her. And
don't you think a little old lady would be easier to kidnap than
a gun-wielding FBI agent? Even one a little bowled over from a
New Year's kiss?"

She smiled. "I was not 'bowled over.'"

"But you liked it."

"I never said I didn't."

Suddenly, his face changed. "Oh, I just remembered. I have
something else something for you." He reached down into his
pocket. "Close your eyes." She smiled, and did as she was told.
He pulled out her gold cross and dangled it before her face.
"Okay, open up."

The delight that spread across her face made his own heart leap
at the mere joy of pleasing her. "Oh, Mulder... where did you get
it?"

"The man gave it to me to prove he had you. I held on tight to
it for you. Maybe it help us beat our demons." Even with Scully
in his arms, he managed to get the chain around her neck and the
clasp fastened.

Her hand came up to grasp it, then snaked down his find his hand
that was resting on her hip. She threaded her fingers through
his, and brought his hand to her lips. "Thank you." He smiled
against her hair. "So, are you convinced that we can do this and
still do the X-Files?"

"Not really, but I might be willing to give it a try." At that,
she slid her hand just a bit across his cheek, so that her thumb
could touch that soft, full lower lip she'd been admiring for
the past 6 years. She gazed up into his eyes, and this time he
saw even more than he'd ever hoped shining in them. The look in
those eyes made him draw in his breath, as her fingertips still
played on his lip. She felt the same. He was sure now.

"Can I tell you something?"

"What's that?" he whispered. As he answered, her fingertip
dipped inside his mouth just a bit, and he sucked on it,
relishing the taste of her skin. She smiled, then bit her lip
just a little. He could see she was still debating.

She decided to go for it. "I love you. I always have. From that
first day I walked into your office. I've loved you every time
I've sat and watched you chew on a pen, or bite that lip as you
frown over a report. I've loved you every time you've touched my
back, or nearly gotten me killed, or saved my life, or shared a
piece of your past. I've loved you for making me see the other
side to life, a side of wonders and laughter and teasing. I just
love you. And more importantly, I trust you. When I was in that
cell, the one thing I was always sure of, whether or not I
admitted it to myself, was that you would come for me, that you
would find me. And you did."

She was chewing her lip now, nervous and maybe a little panicky
at what she had just revealed. He realized that she was waiting
for a response from him. He did the only thing he could do. He
kissed his Scully. His Scully.

Her head was on his chest, so he slid down a bit, moving her up
as he went. Tipping up her chin, he gazed once again into those
eyes that could drown him, lowered his head, and touched his
lips to hers.

Her mouth was all soft contours, slightly parted, welcoming.
Suddenly he lost his nerve, and stilled where he was, afraid to
go further, afraid of scaring her. But this was his Scully, and
when she made a commitment, there was no turning back. Her mouth
opened wider, and suddenly her tongue swept his lips, and
everything changed. He lost his timidness and dove in, sucking
that lip he'd merely tasted only twenty-four hours ago. Her
hands slid into the hair at his nape, pulling lightly as she
leaned over him and turned more fully into the kiss. His hands
slid up her back, his thumbs making little circles on her ribs.
He moved down to kiss her neck, tasting her skin before moving
back to her mouth.

Suddenly, he heard the strangest sound. In the middle of the
sexiest, hottest kiss of his life, his first REAL kiss with
Scully, his Scully was giggling.

"Can I ask what the hell is so funny?" he asked, staring up at
her, wanting only to get back to those lips of hers. Now, from
kissing, they were even fuller than before.

"Ever just get a song in you head that you can't get rid of?"
She was leaning over him, her hair hanging down and tickling his
cheek.

"Scully, this is really not the time for choir practice."

She went on, ignoring his obvious frustration. " I just got the
most appropriate song ever in my head." She paused, enjoying his
impatience.

"If I let you tell me, can we get back to this?"

"This and much more."

That suggestion almost brought a grin to his face, but he
managed to stay serious. "Alright, I'll play along. What song
did you get in your head, Scully?" he asked in a sing-song
voice.

To his surprise and utter delight, she began singing. He'd never
heard her sing before, but she had a beautiful, husky, sexy
voice. But when he realized what she was singing, his heart
twisted even more.

"I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that
I'm not sure of, a love there is no cure for. I think I love
you..."

His fingers on her lips stopped her. "I love you, Dana Scully,
to the depth of my sorry-ass, obsessive soul. I know I don't
deserve you, but I thank God, Allah, or whoever that you love me
too. So now what do you think?"

Her gaze considered him for a moment before she leaned down to
kiss him softly. "I love you, and I'm not afraid anymore. How's
that?"

It was all he needed to hear.

THE END

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