From: Kate Rickman <kate.rickman@mindspring.com>
Date: Fri, 06 Aug 1999 20:08:51 -0400
Subject: Choices (1/1) Kate Rickman
Source: xff

Reply To: kate.rickman@mindspring.com


TITLE:  Choices With Sharp Edges (1/1)
AUTHOR:  Kate Rickman
E-MAIL:  kate.rickman@mindspring.com
DISTRIBUTION:  anywhere
CLASSIFICATION:  S, MSR
RATING:  R for language
SPOILERS:  Nothing, really.
SUMMARY:  What would it take for Mulder-and Scully-to voluntarily
walk away from their work on the X-Files?
AUTHOR'S EXCUSE:  There I was, writing another story, when this
question popped into my head followed shortly by the answer.  When
I realized I'd never finish Story Number One until I got this
story out of my system, I got this story out of my system.  It's a
non-traditional romance, but a romance nonetheless.

***

The telephone trilled loudly in the darkness.

Fox Mulder rolled off the couch and scrambled across the room,
eyeing the clock as he stumbled over a chair.  Two thirteen AM.

A cold chill washed over him as he reached blindly for the
telephone.

It had been two thirteen AM when he and Scully had been abducted
by persons unknown, from seedy motel rooms in West Virginia.

Coincidentally, it had been two thirteen AM several days later
when a West Virginia state trooper found him wandering, naked and
confused, on a county road.

He didn't know it, but it also had been a little over two hundred
and thirteen days since he had been returned, two hundred and
thirteen days since he'd seen Dana Scully, two hundred and
thirteen days since his heart had broken beyond repair.

The phone trilled again.  Was it synchronicity or a really bad
omen?

He cursed as his shin caught the edge of the coffee table, cursed
as he careened off the wall, and cursed as he landed, hands down,
on the telephone, knocking it off the table.

"Dammit to hell!"  He dropped to his knees, patting around in the
darkness.  Contact.  The cold plastic of the telephone.  Press the
button, Mulder, he cursed himself under his breath as he struggled
to activate the cordless instrument.  Finally.  "Hello."

Pause.

"Mr. Mulder."  Sibilant.  Dangerous.

The smoky voice from his past echoed in his ear, twisting his
stomach, sending his blood pressure through the roof.

"Mr.  Mulder, are you there?"  Imperative.

"Yes."  Terse.

"Mr. Mulder, I would like to offer you a tremendous opportunity."

--I've had enough of your opportunities, you bastard.

"Mr. Mulder."  Impatient.

"Yes."

"I'm calling to make you an offer you can't refuse."

"Try me."

"I'd like to make a fair trade."

Mulder snorted and said nothing.

"To show my good intentions, I will give you something you
desperately want, no strings attached."

A slight rustling.  "Mulder?"  Soft.  Her voice.

"Scully?"  Disbelief.

"Mulder, please come."  Scully.

"I will.  Where..."

More rustling.  "Check your e-mail.  Don't delay."  Him again.

Click.

Dead air.

Mulder dropped the phone, reaching for the lamp.  Light flooded
Scully's apartment as he vaulted for the computer and hit the
power switch.  As the computer went through its startup routine he
tapped his fingers idly against his fish tank where it sat on one
side of Scully's desk.  The fish wiggled toward the sound.

After his release, Mulder had maintained both his apartment and
Scully's,  unwilling to believe that she would not be returned to
him as she had been before.  For six months, he had driven there
daily, watered her plants, restocked her refrigerator, endlessly
changed the unused towels in her bathroom and the sheets on her
bed in case she might suddenly appear at the door.

Six months later, he had been forced to make a decision.  Mrs.
Scully, the Gunmen, and Assistant Director Skinner all had prodded
him gently to move on.  Like a mourning widower, he had been urged
to let go of the past, to get on with his life, to live again.  In
typical Mulder fashion he did both:  he gave up his apartment and
moved his meager belongings into Scully's, then turned the
apartment into a shrine.

Mulder looked around as he launched the e-mail program, nervously
tapping his fingers on the edges of the keyboard and the computer.
Framed photographs of Scully covered the wall to his left,
photographs begged from her mother and brothers, photographs
culled from her albums, and a precious few photographs taken of
them together.  Her smile, the radiant blue of her eyes, comforted
him when he most acutely felt her loss.  They comforted him now.

The chime of the mail program jolted him back to the immediate.
With a trembling hand, he clicked on an anonymous message.  The
text leaped from the window into his eyes:

"Dana Scully will be returned if you arrive within two hours.  The
clock ticks, Mr. Mulder."

Two hours.  He swiveled to look at the clock.  Two twenty-one AM.
He swiveled back and scanned the message again. The words
flickered in front of his eyes.

--Where, dammit.  Where?

Then he noticed a small icon next to his address.  An attachment.
Double clicked.  Too fast.

--Slow down, slow down.

He breathed deeply, forcing himself to click more slowly.  A .gif
file.  A map.  More specifically, a map of Maryland.  A thin red
circle in the northern part of the state marked a location.  He
grabbed his jacket and pulled on his shoes.  When the map slipped
out of the printer, he studied it again, tilting it against the
light, seeing an address printed in matching red beneath the
circle.

Go.

The door slammed in the frame, rattling the photographs on the
wall, sending the water in the fish tank sloshing from one side to
the other.

***
Rural Maryland
3:51 AM

Mulder switched to high beams, creeping along the rural lane,
scanning the roadside for any indication that he had arrived at
22 Laurel Lane.  Trees met in a dense arch overhead, blocking
light from a full moon that hung over the horizon.  The road curved.
On the right, a pale yellow glow flickered through the foliage.

The headlights lanced across a mailbox.  Number 22.  He turned the
wheel and bumped his way along a drive, coming to a stop in front
of a house.  Dim light filtered through sheer curtains at the windows
of one room.  With a twist, the engine fell silent.  Mulder sat for
a moment, listening to it tick as it cooled in the night air.

Movement.

In the dim light, he saw a figure sitting on the front steps.  A
figure with red hair.

He nearly fell, leaping from the car, rushing to her side.
"Scully."

She reached for him, her tears sparkling in the moonlight.

He fell into her arms, holding her to him, burying his face in her
neck, smelling her scent.  "Scully, Scully, Scully," he whispered
against her ear as he drew her into his arms.

He caressed her back, feeling her through the light wool of her
coat.  "Is it really you?"

"Yes, it's really me."  She stroked the hair away from Mulder's
forehead.

"I can't believe it."  Mulder ran his index finger over and around
the small scar at the base of her neck.  Scully.

"Mulder," she whispered into his hair.  "They told me...you'd
gone.  Left me."

"Never."  A solemn vow.

"I knew that."  Deep sigh.  "But I was alone, so alone.  You can't
imagine."

He felt the chill pass through her and held her closer.  He could
imagine.  He had been there.  He remained numb in many places even
as her warmth radiated against him through the many layers of his
clothing.  "So was I."  He described how they'd dumped him, naked
and seriously disoriented, on a county road.  "Are you OK?"

Slight hesitation.  "Yes."

He leaned back, looking down into her face, tipped toward his in the
moonlight.  "What's wrong?"

She smiled weakly.  "Nothing...now."  She leaned against his chest,
sliding her arms around his waist, burrowing her face in the front
of his jacket.

"Scully..."

The front door opened, flooding the porch with incandescent light.
The odor of cigarette smoke drifted through the night air.

"Mr. Mulder."  Him.  He stood outlined in the glow that spilled from
the door behind him.

Mulder's stomach twisted, his fists clenched involuntarily.

"Please, come inside so that we can talk."  The Smoker gestured with
one hand, a glowing red arc that swept toward the door.  "Miss
Scully."

Mulder looked at Scully.

She nodded.

He stood and offered his hand.

Scully rose awkwardly to her feet, her coat falling open, the large
rounded mound of her belly showing in the light.

Mulder froze, stared.  Numbly he reached out, glided his palm lightly
over the swelling.

Scully lay her hand lightly over his, not speaking, not explaining.

"Bastards."  He jumped to his own conclusion.

"No."  Soft, placating.

"I'm going to..."

"No, Mulder."  Louder this time.  Confident.

He looked into her eyes, large and dark blue in the dim light.

"Listen to him."  She inclined her head at the Smoker, who stood
waiting in the doorway.

--Listen to him?  Is this Dana Scully talking?  Is she under the
influence of mind-altering drugs?  Is she a nearly perfect alien
clone, right down to the implant scar on the back of her neck?

"Come."  She tugged gently at his hand, pulling him into the light.

Too dazed to protest further, he followed her to a small parlor.

A fire crackled in the grate, casting flickering shadows around the
room.  Scully led him to a settee near the fire, sat down, patted
the velvet next to her.  Mulder sat obediently as The Smoker took
the wing chair across from them.

Mulder's eyes caressed the swell of her belly as he reached out,
tracing the hardness with his fingertips.

--Scully...what happened to you?

The Smoker cleared his throat, interrupting Mulder's thoughts.  "Mr.
Mulder, I'm here to make a deal with you."

Mulder glared at him.

"There is no reason to be hostile.  I'm here to give you want you
want...what you need."

Mulder bristled.  "You took away what I want and need."

"And I'm returning her to you."  Reasonable.

Mulder glanced at the object of their conversation where she sat
quietly, almost serenely, at his side.

--She's been brainwashed, programmed, alien mind-probed.  He
reached out to her emotionally as he turned his attention back to
their adversary.

"Yes."  The Smoker took a long drag on his cigarette.  "The Deal."

Mulder took Scully's hand between both of his.  He felt her fingers
thread through his own.

"As I already promised you, Miss Scully is free to go."

Mulder started to stand, but Scully pulled him back.

"Listen" was all she said.

The Smoker continued.  "However, I have a another proposition for
you."

A gust of smoke washed over Mulder, burning his eyes.  He refused
to blink.

"I would like you to go back to the Bureau and take up your life
...with one exception."

--Ah...the hook.

"I want you to ignore anything related to...our...business, turn a
deaf ear to our work."

"Unlikely..."  Mulder tensed, felt a gentle squeeze, relaxed.  Deep
breath.  "You said that Scully would be released, no strings
attached.  That's a pretty big string."

"I did and she will."  Another cloud of cigarette smoke.

"So..."  Mulder gestured for him to continue.  Confused.

"There's something else."  The Smoker inhaled deeply.  "We have
...given...Miss Scully something she desperately wants."

The baby.  A shiver ran over Mulder as he imagined alien fetuses
and alien-human hybrid children, genetically engineered for an
evil purpose.

"The child is normal, Mr. Mulder."

--Likely story.

"The child is *yours,* Mr. Mulder.  Yours and Miss Scully's."

A blow to the gut.  Mulder gasped for air.  "How?"

"As you know, we have her ova...plenty of them, cryogenically
stored, preserved in perfect condition."

Mulder thought of the rows upon rows of drawers in the cryogenic
vault at the Lombard Research Facility.  Drawers containing the
seeds of Scully's stolen children alongside drawer after drawer
of children stolen from hundreds of other women.

"Having a child of her own is Miss Scully's fondest dream, one that
she thought was lost to her forever."

--Because of your and your kind, you smoking bastard.

"I know that you would do anything to make Miss Scully happy, even
at your own expense."

Mulder tentatively stroked the swelling that held his child, his
fingers sliding lightly over the mound.  His child.  His child and
Scully's.  He felt as if his head might explode.  He wanted to
scream, jump, cry, laugh.  Even in his wildest beer-soaked fantasies,
he had never dared to visit this place.

The Smoker continued.  "It was a simple matter to harvest your sperm
when you and Miss Scully were taken a few months ago."

Mulder recalled vague memories of that time, being in a bright room,
surrounded by beeping instruments and white-coated forms.

"In vitro fertilization is routine, Mr. Mulder.  Routine."  The man
stubbed his smoke in a convenient ashtray then shook an unlit
cigarette from the pack and placed it between his lips.  With a
flare of a match, he lit it, drawing the smoke deeply into his lungs.

Mulder could almost see the black tar rolling through the man's veins
as he slowly expelled a dense cloud of smoke into the air, savoring
the flavor as it rolled over his lips.

"I could have used an...anonymous...sperm donor," The Smoker pulled
on his cigarette again, leering a bit at the possible identity of
such an anonymous donor, "but I thought it was a nice touch to use
you.  It raises the ante a bit."

Mulder, red-faced, imagined his hands squeezing the leer from that
face.  Bastard.

"So I offer you this additional deal:  the baby for your deaf ear."

"Or?" Through a clenched jaw.

"Do I need to draw you the picture?"

"Yes.  Tell me what you would do.  Kill the baby?  Abduct it?"
Mulder sneered, sitting forward, easing some weight onto the balls
of his feet.  Ready.

"Of course not.  We would never willingly come between Miss Scully
and her child."

Mulder opened his mouth, closed it again.  Between *Scully* and the
baby?  Wait a minute.  "You mean...you'd take both Scully and the
child."

A large cloud of smoke blew over his face in reply.

--Son of a Bitch.

Scully stirred at his side.

The SOB continued.  "I've done you a great service, Mr. Mulder.  I've
given you what you could never have on your own.  A miracle."

He felt Scully's hand tremble in his grasp.

"How do I know this is my child...Scully's child...and not some
genetic bastard?"

"I've seen the DNA results."  Quietly.  "It's our child."

He turned to Scully again, looked deeply into her eyes.  "You're OK
with this?"

"I would not have chosen to do it this way, but what choice do I have
now?"  She gripped his hand, her voice thick with emotion.  "I've
given up many things for my career, for the X-Files, but I never
willingly gave up motherhood.  You know that."

He did.

"This may be my only chance," she added unnecessarily.

He knew.  He understood.  He flogged himself with the guilt.  He
would never stand between her and that chance, even if it meant
stepping aside and letting her go, tearing his heart out all over
again.  But how far would he go, how much would he personally give
away to ensure that she would stay by his side?

Scully gripped his hand tightly, holding it against the swell that
sheltered their child.

Mulder dragged his eyes away from Scully. "So let me make this
clear:  you permit us to leave, to go back to our lives unmolested,
and you will leave us alone forever..."

"...so long as you leave *us* alone."  He flicked ash onto the carpet.
"Tit for tat."

"As simple as that."

"A offer you can't refuse."  The Smoker nodded.  "One that you won't
refuse," he predicted, the hint of a gloat on his face.

Mulder weighed the issues.  Scully, her child...his child...free to
resume their lives.  If they agreed to ignore the workings of the
dark consortium headed by this evil man.  Simple.  Just shut his
eyes.

He ignored the Smoker for a moment.  "Is this what you want, Scully?"

"Yes."  One word.

Emotions churned through him.  Joy.  Fear.  Anger.  Dread.  Love.

A door creaked open to admit an elderly man, dressed in robe-covered
pajamas.

"Ah, Mr. Palmer."  The Smoker rose.  "Thank you for joining us."

Mr. Palmer stood tentatively in the doorway, a folder in his hand.

"Please."  The Smoker waved him inside.

The elderly man shuffled across the carpet in his slippers, handing
the folder and a pen to Mulder.

Mulder opened the folder.  Blinked.  A marriage license.  Fox William
Mulder and Dana Katherine Scully dated...seven months ago.  Before the
abduction.  This is too much.  The papers shook in Mulder's unsteady
hands.

"I thought you might like the legitimacy for your child."

"So thoughtful," Mulder said, meaning anything but.  A marriage would
be one additional sword the older man could hold over their heads.
His examined the certificate--all spaces filled with accurate
information, signed by Scully--in detail, thinking, weighing the
meaning and the possibilities.

Scully shrugged.  "This isn't necessary."

"But you signed it."  He showed her the paper.

"I know."  She didn't look.  "But it isn't necessary."

Mulder chewed on the end of the pen, considering his options.  Then
he signed the paper and passed it back to the old man.

Palmer passed the paperwork to The Smoker.

The Smoker folded the license and tucked it in his pocket. "It will
be filed in the morning."  He stood.  "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs.
Mulder.  And may I be the first to offer you felicitations on the
birth of your first child."

Mulder lunged for him, stopped, seething.

"That's right, Mr. Mulder."  The Smoker followed Palmer through the
small door at the back of the room, then stopped.  "Don't forget
our deal."

--Deal.  Right.

"And Mrs. Mulder..." he rasped as an afterward.

Scully hesitated, belatedly recognizing her new name.  She turned
slowly, looking at the man with distaste brimming in her eyes.

"...don't forget our deal."

Mulder felt her tense beneath his hand.

Scully glared at The Smoker then averted her face, not responding
with words.

The door clicked shut.  Fire snapped in the grate.  A grandfather
clock in the corner quietly marked the passage of time.

"Is there something else I should know," Mulder asked quietly,
thinking of The Smoker's parting shot to Scully.

"No."  Softly.  "He's just yanking your chain."

"Really?"  He expected the man to double cross them in some way.

"Really."

--Why can't I believe you, Scully.  You're hiding something from
me...but what?

"It's nothing, Mulder.  Let's go."  She nudged him toward the door.

Mulder felt Scully's hand at his back, sliding around his waist.
He slipped one arm around her shoulders and held her against his
side, looking down into her honest blue eyes.  Whatever it was
between Scully and The Smoker, he trusted her judgement that it
would not be allowed touch them and their child.  Scully would
watch their backs.  He would turn to the future.  "So."

"So."  She lay one hand protectively over their child.

Mulder smiled, feeling as if the muscles in his face would crack.
Three hours ago, he was a broken man, lonely, defeated.  Now he was
married to the woman of his dreams--the woman he loved and respected
above all others in the world--and about to be the father of a child
he never dared even to dream about.  He was happy and confused,
frightened and excited.  And optimistic.  "Please tell me that you're
really you and that you haven't been alien mind-probed."

She snorted, a very Scully snort of disapproval.  "My mind is the one
place I haven't been probed recently."

Anger surged through him at the thought of her treatment.  He stepped
backward, toward the door closed between him and The Smoker, stopping
as Scully pulled him back into her embrace.

"Mulder, if I could undo this," she patted her belly gently," I would
undo it."

Mulder started to protest.  "But...."

Scully cut him off with a look.  "This isn't good for our work, our
careers...or life as we knew it."

"But that can change."  Softly.

Scully studied his face carefully.  "Can it?"

"Yes."  He looked down at her again, saw the tentative expression in
her eyes.  His heart filled with the love he had always denied feeling
for her.

"Can we?"

"We have."  Six months in the Depths of Hell had changed him utterly.
He had gained focus.  He understood his real priorities.  He
acknowledged his needs.  He had been handed a precious second chance
and, by God, he would not blow it.

"You can turn your back on that man and the conspiracy?"  Doubtful.

"There are other ways."  In her absence, he had struggled to move
forward without her, almost failing.  But at the point of near
emotional and physical collapse, he had met and groomed a young
acolyte in the mission of the X-Files.  The young recruit burned with
passion for the work.  He could be relied upon to hound the smoker
and his kind relentlessly.  Yes.  There were other means to the same
end.  He guided Scully through the door into the hall, then outside
onto the porch.  A pink glow bleached the night sky in the east.

They paused on the bottom step, each turning to the other.  Mulder
placed his hands lightly on both sides of her belly, caressing their
future gently.  He shook his head in wonder.  "Wow.  I don't know
what else to say, Scully."

"Just say that you'll take me home."  She smiled, tired but hopeful.
"I need to get away from this place and back to...a life.  My life.
*Any* life.  Whatever that is anymore."

Mulder touched his wife's cheek in wonder.  It was warm, wet.  He
brushed away her tears easily with one finger.  "And what if that's
an alien monkey baby in there?"  He prodded her belly with one
finger, gently.

Scully sighed, turned slightly sideways, nestled close against him.
"Then we'll be famous and write a book and go on the Jerry Springer
Show to talk about it."

"Life could be worse."  Life without her was unthinkable; life
together was a gamble, a challenge, and an uncommon gift.

He felt the gust of her laughter against his lips as he brushed them
lightly against hers.  Their first kiss.  He dipped his head for
another taste, opening his mouth against hers, surrendering to the
gentle softness of her mouth.  He fell into her, took her inside him,
felt her warmth flow through and around him as his lips moved over
her lips.

Nearby, a rooster crowed to the morning sun.

"I think that's our cue."  Scully, relaxed in his arms, laughed
gently.

"Then let's go home," he said.

END (1/1)

--
kate.rickman@mindspring.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://kate.rickman.home.mindspring.com



