From: Mello Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 19:07:57 -0400 (EDT) Subject: Christmas with G-Men, Shippers, and... Mistletoe? (1/3) Title - Christmas With G-Men, Shippers, and... Mistletoe? (1/3) Author - Mello E-mail Address - mello@usa.com Rating - PG for now... nicely placed bad words Category -SHR Spoilers - Do I gotta do this? if you've seen up to "The End", you're rockin'. Keywords - Mulder/Scully Romance, Alternate Universe Summary - A girl named Melody and a few of her pals go through a black hole... on a mission. Can they get our favorite agents to express their true feelings? Lots of humor and some mush. Disclaimer: The peeps in here aren't mine, except for MY characters like Melody and Ted, etc. So don't sue. Please? :) Dedications: This story is dedicated to Mr. John Neufield, author of the new book "Boys Lie" and the classic "Edgar Allan" (among others), because without his wonderful talk on how much he sucked as a young writer, I wouldn't have the courage to put this story up. Mello's Notes: I know the story sucks, it was written to be good, though, so like it! Okay? :) I wrote this story a long time ago too, so excuse the outdated-ness. Slang Terms -- Mass - cool Breathe blue - relax Frapp -very cool Broccoli brain - Dopey Stooge - Idiot `Da Bomb - The best When you finish this part, go back and read parts two and three. Or else you'll be really confused. :) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Southern California, 12 p.m. Saturday, December 19 "Ahh, Christmas! Don't cha just love it?" Said a pre-teen girl with short red hair and mischievous eyes. She was dressed in a white-tank top with spaghetti straps and a see-through flowered shirt over it. She wore baggy black pants and white sandals. "Yeah, it kicks." Said a short, black haired Philippino boy by the name of Ted, who was clad in a white "Yo Quiero Taco Bell" T-shirt and baggy Levi's. "You know, Mel, I could really get used to this cold weather." Melody sat down on the curb of Contrast Street with Ted and agreed, "I know, huh? 60 degrees, man, that's cold." Her beeper trilled. After looking at the number, she pulled off her green backpack and unzipped it. "Mel, ummm, you know you aren't supposed to take out your Uncle's gun unless you really need it..." Ted backed off, hands raised in air. "You stooge, I don't have my uncle's gun!" Ted scooted closer, relieved. "I left it in my underwear drawer," Melody said with a sarcastic smirk. "Don't go there." Ted peeked into her backpack. "What are you doing?" "I'm getting my cell phone to call Christy, of course." "Woah. Man. But Christy lives across the street from here. Just go ring the doorbell." "Why not jack up the cell phone bills?" *laughs evilly* "I don't gotta pay for it." "You are one sick, sadistic kid." "Aren't we all?" "Dude, right on." Ted gave her a high-five. Melody speed-dialed Christy. Ted could only hear one side of the conversation. "What's up? Oh, very funny. You're serious? No way. OMIGOD! Christy, pack for a week and call... ummm... Alex, Michelle, Zac, Greg, Samantha, Eddie, Austin, Angela, Nicole, Susanne, Oscar, David, Tyler, Denny, Lauren, Steve, Mike, Randy, Kate...." Ted just stopped listening after 19 friends. But he was sure she went on to around 50 names. Finally Melody said good-bye and pushed the "off" button. "Jesus, Mel,was Christy telling you something totally mass or what? Breathe blue." Ted patted her back as she hyperventilated. "Ummm, Ted, my friend, you're not gonna believe this.... yes, it is TOTALLY mass... Christy found a black hole in her closet that leads to the universe of the X-Files." "Totally mass. But, Melody, my all-around broccoli brain pal, what made you believe that?" "Christy has known me since we were rugrats. I believe her, she has never lied to me." Melody paused to smile gleefully. "C'mon, go get packed `cuz we're spending Christmas with Mulder and Scully!" Southern California, 1 p.m. Saturday, December 19, 1998 Melody quickly packed all of her necessities (and then some more) and ran to Ted's house across the street. Ted was waiting on his doorstep with a black suitcase stuffed so full he struggled to hold it. "So, I heard you on the phone. You're also sending the whole calvary?" Ted walked down the steps with Melody. "Yeah. Do me solid, Ted, don't tell anyone here where we're going, kay?" Ted nodded. Melody flashed a big white smile and they continued to walk to Christy Allen's house. When they finally arrived, Christy ushered them in. Her blonde hair went down to her waist and it was obviously neglected to brush. She lead them into her closet, where 50 other classmates, not including their siblings, dogs, cats and fish waited to step into the black hole. "Okay, everyone form a semi-orderly line leading to the hole," instructed Ted. "Mel, you go first, since you know your way around X-Files land. Everyone else line up." As if on cue, someone turned on their stereo to Will Smith's "Jiggy". This was not a good idea, as dancing and singing ensued, which caused screams, numerous "Ow"s, and a lot of cussing. "Shut that off!" Screamed Melody. The music stopped. "Now, get in a line. I hope Mulder and Scully aren't on a case." The line started to form. All of the kids started the countdown... " 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, ummm.... 4, 3, 2, 1!" At one Melody stepped into the realm and found herself in the middle of A.D. Skinner's office. she thought. Finally, all 50-something kids and their guests dropped into Skinner's room. "What the hell..." Skinner picked up the phone and dialed Holly. "Um, Holly, I have a problem..." Before A.D. could finish, Zac pulled the phone jack out of the wall. "Oh, no you don't. We come in peace, Mr. Pillego," Alex whispered "Pillegi!" but Zac didn't hear. He continued, " We accidentally stumbled upon your office. We are completely, totally, massively sorry. Now let us go or I will kick your sorry ass, sir." Zac motioned for everyone to run. They did, and ended up in the basement. Melody was quite pleased and started to dig through Mulder's desk until she stumbled upon a Christmas card. She yelled out, "Hey, guys, look at this!" Melody read the card aloud: "Happy Christmas to the one I love." She turned to the inside. "I love you more than pumpkin pie..." Several gags were heard from the audience. I love you more than rye, I couldn't say much I love you For now I'll go bye-bye." Melody stopped to laugh. "How cheesy! Oh, and it's signed, Mulder to Scully. Woah, shocking revelations for Shippers, wouldn't you say, Ted?" "Yeah. cuz Shippers rule!" Ted broke out in a fight with several Noromos but stopped when Melody kicked the Noromos asses with her brass knuckles and pepper spray. "Never leave home without it," She kidded. Zac chimed in, "So, who want's to trash Scully's house?" No one spoke, in fear of what Melody would do. "Okay, so who says we go visit Mulder? I hear he's got some X-rated stuff that... never mind. We'll see if he likes our music. Whaddaya got, Austin, my man?" Austin grabbed his suitcase. " I got Will Smith, Brandy, Olive, Catalonia, Savage Garden, Mariah Carey, the soundtrack to "Godzilla", Sister Hazel, Sarah Mclachlan, Puff Daddy, Alanis Morrisette, and your usual rap, R & B, and good music. I think I brought 50 CDs and 100 tapes." "Good going, music man. We can always count on you. So, who brought the food?" "Me!" yelled Angela. " I brought Cheetos, Surge, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, water, orange soda, chips in all flavors, Tootsie Rolls, Starburst, chicken, Taco Bell, fries, apples, fruit, veggies, 1000 dollars for food if we need it, and beer for Mulder, if he even likes it." "Great. Who got the rest of the necessary stuff?" Steve chimed in. " Me. I got the rope, pepper spray, autograph paper and pens, cameras, laptop computer, shaving cream..." "What the hell is the shaving cream for?" Angela yelled. "We always thought that Krycek had al to of stubble," explained Mel. "Okay, time to go to Mulder's. Everyone ready?" The gang yelled out "Yes" and they set out on their journey. Once they had walked a mile, Zac pointed out, "Mel, don't you think we could catch a bus or something? I mean, how far is it to Mulder's?" "All 50 of us, not including the pets and siblings, on a bus for lower than 1000 bucks? Don't think so... just hold on and breathe blue." Melody said, really pissed off. They finally arrived at Mulder's after 2 and a half hours of walking and potty breaks. Ted ringed the doorbell. "Hey, everyone hide! Melody, get over here." Melody walked up next to Ted, shivering. Mulder creaked open the door. Melody fainted. Ted pulled some smelling salts out of his pocket. She revived. "Hello, Mr. Mulder. We were wondering if we could come in, we have came from a long ways away to meet you. I'm Ted Rosario and this is Melody Aaron. May we come in?" Mulder opened the door wider. " Sure. Why did you want to see me?" Ted gave Melody a glance. " Uh, Mel can explain that later. Can some of our friends come in too? They're waiting outside." Mulder nodded. Melody whistled shrilly and all of the awaiters tumbled in. Ted pulled both Melody and Mulder into the closet and shut the door. Mulder pulled the light switch. The song "We Can Be Heroes" echoed from outside, and Austin could be heard singing along, way off pitch. Laughter and glass breaking were also recognizable sounds. Ted explained who everyone was while Mel daydreamed. She smiled at Mulder. "Mel? Hello? Could you explain why we're here?" Mel answered, "Uh, yeah. We came from another dimension through a black hole. We all have reasons we want to see you, and mine is to get you together with Scully." Mulder was confused. " How do you know who Scully is?" "In my world, you two and all the others are on television. You should see what some people think of you." Melody nodded to Ted, who pulled out Lydia Bower's "Dance Without Sleeping". "That might take you a while to read, but it's called fan-fic. Fans who write fiction stories about you. That one is my fave. It is really nice. Well, I am gonna go party in your living room. When you're finished reading that, get me so I can explain some more stuff to you. Man, you are mass." Melody paused as she and Ted opened the closet door. "Oh, and Mulder, please get a bed, or your back will ache forever." Mulder looked at her, puzzled, until she shut the door. The loud "Godzilla" soundtrack played as Melody snapped into her party mood. She jumped up onto Mulder's coffee table and danced with Ted for, like, an hour, until the music got to a slow song. "Awww, turn off that old people crap!" Yelled Melody, and someone put on Sister Hazel's "What Do You Think About Me". I've seen a lot of strange people I've seen a lot of sad things I've seen a lot of bad people, yeah Do a lot of bad things Melody was singing the chorus when Mulder came out of the closet and tapped her arm. " I read it." He said. Melody saw a tear in his eye, which made her happy yet sad. "Okay!" She yelled over the noises of music and talking. She walked into the closet with him. Mulder sat down on an old box. " So, if I am so popular in your world, then why is no one else here? I mean, wouldn't they come too?" "Only Ted, me, and Christy know about the black hole. And the rest of the people trashing your apartment. And, I would have invited some of my Internet friends, but I didn't have time." "I read that story. It was really good. So, you guys call yourselves 'Shippers'?" Mulder asked. " NO NO NO! There are `Shippers, who want you and Agent Scully to get together, Noromos, who want you to stay platonic, and Fencesitters, who can't decide. Personally, I am a `Shipper." "Oh. And do you people know every little thing about me and Scully?" "Yeah. What me to recite the timeline of your life? First, you were born in..." "That's okay. So, why would you want me to get together with Scully?" Melody gave him a evil "I know something you don't know" grin and said, "Because it's, like, so massively obvious you want each other BAD. And you deserve it." Mulder bowed his head down shyly. "So, why did you come at Christmas-time?" "Uh, duh, cuz that's when we found the black hole." "Oh." "Duh." "So, Melody, I don't know what you're going to do. I'm going over to Scully's for the week and..." "Oooh, for a week, eh? Good going, G-man!" "No, not what you think. As I was saying, I'm going over to Scully's for the week and you aren't going to have much fun out on the streets of Alexandria. I suggest you all go home." "We were thinking you could bring us with you to Scully's. We wanna meet her too! She is mass, man." Melody made a mental note to stop saying 'man'. "I dunno if Scully would like that..." Apartment Building of Dana Scully, 5:00 p.m. Saturday, December 19 "Hello, Scully! May we come in?" Mulder said, gesturing to Ted and Melody. "Who are they?" Scully whispered. "It's a long story," Melody exclaimed. "Mulder can explain it. But for now, I'm Melody Aaron and this is Ted Rosario." Scully invited them in cordially and sat them down. She raised an eyebrow at Mulder when Ted snapped a Polaroid of her couch. "So, Mulder, get explaining." "Well, first I have to bring in the rest of my friends." "How many are there?" "50 not including pets and siblings." "In your dreams, Mulder." "No, YOU'RE in his dreams," Ted blurted out. Melody jabbed him in the ribs. "Owww!" He wailed. "C'mon, Scully, it's only 50! Please?" Scully shook her head and told all of the kids at the door to go play in the park. "Awww, you're lame." Muttered Austin. "Not mass." Said Angela. "A scum-sucking fluke-woman." Said Zac. Scully closed the door. "Mulder, who are these kids, why are they here, where are they from, and how do they know me?" As Mulder explained, Ted and Melody asked Scully for her e-mail. She was lost in thought and replied without even asking why, "DScully@fbi.gov." Ted and Melody chuckled and opened their e-mail on the laptop they had brought. "Mulder, what's your e-mail?" "FMulder@fbi.gov." "So original, yet so full of meaning!" said Ted giddily. He clicked on "Compose mail" and typed in: To: DScully@fbi.gov From: FMulder@fbi.gov Subject: I love you, Scully @-----|------|----- Message: Hi, Scully. I know this is really sudden ,but those kids were right. We belong together, and I want to spend my life with you. I love you, Agent Scully, and I don't care about Bureau Policy. Please say you love me too. Love, Mulder "Are you sure we should be doing this?" Ted whispered. "I mean, I sure as hell ain't Mulder, and what if he doesn't love her?" "He admitted to me that he does, and remember that card for Christmas? I doubt he'd send it.... besides, that was cheesy, this idea is mass." Melody clicked the 'send' button for him. Mulder finished explaining the kids to Scully, and she sat there, speechless. "That's really weird, Mulder. Really weird." "Umm, excuse me, Miss Scully, but I think you should check your e-mail." Ted interrupted. "How would you know I have mail?" "Uh, in our dimension, we just know." Melody lied. she told herself. Scully didn't ask and she went to check her mail. "There's no new mail." She said. Ted and Melody thought at the same time. Ted opened up the e-mail on his computer again, and a message said: "E-mail service canceled. Too many overdue bills." "Darn, Melody, now what?" He whispered. "Plan B, " she whispered back. "Miss Scully, may we use your phone?" Scully nodded and Mel set off with Ted to find it. They walked into her bedroom and picked up her phone. Melody dialed information. "What's the number for a good radio station? Oh, for singers like Natalie Imbruglia and Sister Hazel. Okay, 555-0064? Thanks." "So, wanna call?" "You do it, Ted." "Okay." Ted dialed 555-0064 and waited for an answer. "Hi, I'd like to dedicate a song." The spunky female DJ answered, "Sure, what song?" "Ummm, Sister Hazel "All For You", from Mulder to Scully." "Okay. It'll be on in five minutes." Ted hung up. Ted and Melody exchanged high-five's and grinned. They sat Mulder and Scully down in chairs and turned on the radio just in time. Sister Hazel belted out, Finally I figured out Cause it took a long long time But now there's a turnabout Maybe cause I'm tryin' The song went on to say It's hard to say what it is I see in you Wonder if I'll always be with you Words can't say, and I can't do Enough to prove, it's all for you "Great song," Scully said as she turned off the stereo. "Noooooo!" Yelled Ted as he lunged to turn it back on. Too late. She had already said the dedications. Marcy Playground came on. "Damn it!" Yelled Melody. "Is that very appropriate language for a girl of your age?" Scully asked. "Shut up." Ted said. "Just sit down right here. And we'll be back in a little while." Ted pulled a pissed-off Melody into Scully's bathroom and shut the door. "Mel, do we HAVE a plan C?" Ted asked with pure dread in his voice. "OMIGOD, we don't." Melody pulled herself up onto Scully's sink. "what should we do?" Ted thought for a minute, then said, "We call an emergency meeting of `Shippers R' Us." Melody and Ted ran outside to look for the rest of their group. They all sat on the grass outside Scully's door, playing 'Simon Says". Zac took the role of Simon. "Simon says touch your belly button. Touch your ear. Ah, Angela, Simon didn't say!" "Screw Simon," Angela backfired. "Everyone listen up! We have to call an emergency meeting of `Shippers R Us. " Ted exclaimed. Someone blurted out, "Noromos rule, and Shippers..." "It is so important to your future that you do not finish that sentence," said Melody angrily. "If anyone here is a Noromo, please go home now. I hope you will take my advice." Ted said. 45 out of the 50 people left, leaving Zac, Angela, Austin, Ted, and Melody. "They are all Noromos?" Angela asked. "No... some just wanted to go home." Zac replied. Melody jumped in, "We all need to go somewhere to discuss Plan C." "Plan C?" questioned Austin. "Yeah, plans A and B backfired on us. So we need to come up with a plan C." Melody led Austin, Zac, Angela, and Ted into Scully's room. "Okay, got any ideas?" Apartment of Fox Mulder, 9:21 p.m. Saturday, December 19 "Thank you, Mr. Mulder. That was really mass of you!" Ted exclaimed. They had all worked out a deal to have Melody and Angela sleep over at Scully's, and Austin, Zac, and Ted over at Mulder's. They were only around 3 miles apart. "Sure, I'm always willing to have visitors from other dimensions come over." Mulder said as he sat down on the couch. Zac shook his head. "Mulder, you're da' bomb!" Mulder laughed a little and thanked him. "So, who votes we invite the girls over for some 20 questions?" They all agreed and Mulder called Scully. After working it all out, Mulder announced, "Scully's bringing the food as long as we clean up the place." Apartment of Fox Mulder, 9:37 p.m. Saturday, December 19, 1998 There was a soft knock at the door. "Mulder, it's me," came the greeting from outside. Mulder let Melody, Angela, and Scully in. "So, this is your definition of clean?" Scully was wearing a green, chenille sweater that brought out her hair. "Messier is better," Exclaimed Melody, who was wearing a white San Diego chargers T-shirt and baggy jeans. "Right on," said Mulder and they began their game. "Mulder asks Scully first. Go Mulder." "Ummmm...... Scully, what's your favorite color?" Austin made a gagging noise and stuck his finger in his mouth. "C'mon, this sucks. Let's play Monopoly." "I say we play Candyland." "No! Let's play freeze tag." "Let's watch TV." "Let's go to bed." "Let's go home." Melody got really mad at her fellow Shippers and started to yell. "Dammit! C'mon, I thought we were gonna try plan C!!! We gotta at least try!!!" She became flustered and plopped down on the floor. "Fudge," she said, as the rest of the group eyed her. "Stop lookin' at me!" She screamed. Scully picked her up off the floor and placed her on the couch. She hurried into Mulder's kitchen and returned with a cup of herbal tea. "Drink this," she said calmly. Melody reluctantly took a sip. "Yuck." She sputtered out the tea. "Got any Pepsi?" Scully turned to Mulder and raised an eyebrow. "Nope. I got Shasa, though." Mulder shrugged. "What the hell is Shasa?" Zac asked. "Ummm.... a soda." Mulder replied. "Duh, Zac, like Shasta, but not name brand cuz CC couldn't use a brand name." Angela shoved him. "Kinda like every day X-Files sites are being shut down because those f ' in Fox goons say ' Oh, dude, it's violating our copyright laws.' In hell." Austin said, raging. Mulder started to chuckle. "What up, Mulder my man?" "It was kinda funny how you said that. 'Oh dude, it's violating our copyright laws'." Mulder relinquished his laughing when Scully gave him 'the eye'. "Um, sure. No make that: sure, fine, whatever." Melody said, dazed and confused. "How'd you know that?" Scully asked as she sat down on one of Mulder's chairs. "Remember? We come from a place where you're on TV. Hey... I wonder if we'll be in an episode since we're here...." Zac smiled mischievously. "Hey," Ted interrupted, "What was the last case you worked on? What was it about?" "There was a man who was afraid his boss was a monster. The guy was a phone salesman. Turns out Mulder saw it too, and he went to a mental hospital where I saved his ass." "Oh!" All of the kids said in unison. " 'Foli a Duex' ! That one rocked!" Austin nodded. "One of the greatest Shippy quotes. 'You're my one in five billion'. Sick." Mulder blushed. Melody thought She giggled. Angela got bored and asked, "So, Mulder, about the wedding ring in 'Travelers'..." Ted shook his head. "No, Angela, don't go there! CC said it's gonna be revealed next season." Ted didn't mind the bewildered looks from both Mulder and Scully. We'd better eat this food before it gets cold," Scully said as she gestured to a bag full of food. Austin, being the bigger one of all the Shippers, ran towards it. "What's this, dammit? You got Shasa, Cheetas, Frato-Ley chips, and Gummi Boars? Ewww. Oh, God, you even have Popsi?" He backed away. "Oh, so you're insulting my choice of junk food for you guys? Would you rather have tofu pie?" "No," Zac answered, "You already got Rosie O' Donnell sick with that crap a while ago." "Never mind," Melody said. "Zac, that is NOT Gillian. That's Dana. You understand?" He nodded shamefully. "Who the hell is Gillian..." Scully asked. "Woah, this is so weird," Ted commented. Melody fell asleep on Mulder's couch. Another 2 hours passed, which were boring and insignificant. Finally Melody woke up, refreshed, and started up the party again. "Austin, my man, you got some music?" Austin yawned and nodded. "So, you got any cheer-uppers?" "Hmmmm.... I got the Ally McBeal soundtrack." "Put on 'Searchin' My Soul'. That one should do it." Austin prepared the music as Zac and Melody quietly slipped into Mulder's room. "Oh my God, he has a bed," commented Zac. Austin fixed a minor glitch in Mulder's totally outdated sound - system and blasted the music. I've been down this road walkin' the line That's painted my pride I've made mistakes in my life That I just can't hide Once the music started to pick up, Zac and Mel, peering through a crack in Mulder's door, saw a group of severely depressed people sitting around, listening to some good music. But they weren't enjoying it. "Happy-booster time, wouldn't you say?" Melody asked Zac. "Uh huh." The group in the room, at first, was horrified to see Zac clad in a diaper, and Melody, clad in cloud pajamas, dance out into the living room. Zac began prancing around like "The Dancing Baby", and Melody ala Ally McBeal. "C'mon, people, let's dance!!!" Screamed Melody over the loud music. Reluctantly, Austin and Angela began to dance. Melody and Ted did the same, and Zac, always being the funny one, danced with a mop. Mulder and Scully just sat, grinning at the cute kids. The song ended and a slow song started to play, Melody yanked up Mulder and made him stand in front of Scully. "Now, dance." Instructed Melody. Mulder shyly placed his hands around Scully's waist, and she put her arms around his neck. They didn't dance until Ted pushed them. "Sway, dammit!" He yelled. All of the Shippers seated themselves on the couch and stared with their little 'Oh how Shippy I swear I'm gonna burst' expressions on their faces. Mulder and Scully started to dance. Scully thought she quickly shot away the thought. Mulder was contemplating the same thing. After the song, as Mulder and Scully started to part, Angela smiled and turned on "Walking In Memphis". "Yay, the love trademark song!" Zac said giddily, when Melody slapped him across the face and whispered, "Hello, Zac!!! Don't say the word love in the presence of Mulder and Scully!!! It could blow our cover!" He nodded understandingly. Ted lead his friends into the kitchen. "They need some time alone," he explained. Meanwhile, in the living room, Mulder looked into Scully's eyes and whispered, "It's our song." he thought, "Yes, Mulder, it is." "Scully..." "What's wrong, Mulder?" "Nothing. I just wanted to say that I'll always remember this dance." "Me too, Mulder. I love you... I mean I love yoo-hoo. That chocolate drink." "Oh, me too. Rich chocolately flavor. Yummy." Both were glad that the conversation could go no further when a security guy came to the door. "I'm going to have to make you turn down that music," he said coldly, "Your neighbors are complaining." Mulder, still holding onto Scully's small waist, turned off the music. The security man closed the door and walked away. ------------ Continued in part two... Title - Christmas With G-Men, Shippers, and... Mistletoe? (2/3) Authors - Mello ------- Claire's Boutique De Fashion, Inside Shearlane Mall 12:17 pm Tuesday, December 22 After around an hour of begging, Melody finally was able to convince Scully to drive both of them down to Claire's. Angela agreed to go to the park and try to meet some dream dude while Melody and Scully bonded. The two walked into the store, browsing. "Why are we here?" Scully asked. "To buy you a dress." "For what?" "Christmas Eve." "I'm not doing anything that night." "Yes you are." "What?" "A good friend of mine wanted to go out with you. I told him you would." Scully thought, "The guy had better be good," Scully told Melody. "Trust me, Miss Scully, you'll feel you've known him forever." Melody grinned. They browsed for a while, until Melody discovered a green, sleeveless dress. It would be ankle-length on Scully, and there were little white flowers all over it. Scully tried the dress on. A perfect fit. It was wonderful. Scully picked out a white sweater to go over it, and some velvet green heels. She walked up to the cash register and handed the woman her things. The cashier said, a little too bubbly, "Hi my name is Purity will that be all?" Scully nodded. "Kay Um that'll be one hundred - forty - three - dollars and two cents." Melody whipped out her wallet and paid for the dress. "I'll cover it," she told Scully. "Thank you come again!!!" Purity stated cheerfully. Scully and Melody walked outside to the main mall, browsing. Meanwhile, Mulder was being dragged around by Ted, who was determined to find the perfect suit for Christmas. "Dude, you need a good suit or something to wear to din-din." "What dinner?" "Christmas Eve." "With who?" "Um, a pal of mine who wants to meet you." "I hate blind dates," Mulder mumbled between breaths. "What's that? You hate blind dates? Trust me, you'll love this lady." Ted recalled. Ted quickly hurried through the racks at "Armani Valentino", and stumbled upon a suit that would actually fit Mulder's tall size. Ted paid a good 200 bucks for it, and they walked out to the Food Court. "Oh, God, not again!" Moaned Ted. "McDunalds, Burger Queen, Dairy King, man!!! C'mon!" " 'Moo-Toe to Go' has some good Chinese," Mulder pointed out. They got some Kung-Pao chicken, Moo-Shoo pork, and, the house special, tofu green beans with lemon steak. "It's okay, really." Mulder said, taking a bite of the tofu. "Sure, fine, whatever." Mulder burst into laughter at this. "What?" Ted asked. "Scully said that on our case with the Syzgy. She was not in a good mood that day." "Yeah, Mulder, cuz she was mad that you were, you know, with Angela White." "I swear, I didn't like her or anything. It was the Syzgy!!!" "Mulder, tell me, do you love Scully?" Mulder spit out his Popsi. "Why do you ask?" "I mean, we all know you do. Would you put yourself on the line for her?" "Of course. Any second." "Would you die for her?" "Yes. If I had to." "So then you love her." "Yeah, I guess." He thought. "Okay. Let's go find her so you can tell her." "NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!" Mulder screamed. "No." "Jeez, man, calm down!" He yelled. "I'm hip-hop and all the rave!" Mulder yelled. "You need some serious help, dude." Ted smiled. "No. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers. They call me Spooky, Spooky Mulder." "Woah, flashbacks!!!" Ted yelled. "I can't tell her, Theodore..." "No, man, my name isn't Theodore, or whatever. My full name is Ted." "No, it's not," said Melody as she and Scully walked up to them. "Hey, what are you guys doing here?" Scully asked. "Melody, what's Ted's full name?" Mulder questioned. "No, Mel, don't!!!" Ted yelped. "Well, Ted, I'm sorry, but it's time for revenge on that period you turned Noromo." Melody bit her lip. "His real name is Tetsuro. Tetsuro Yamichada Rosario. Sorry, Ted." "That's a nice name," said Scully, sympathizing. "As I was saying, why are you here, Mulder?" "Um, I..." "I needed to buy a suit for a... wedding." "Oh, really." "Why are you here?" Mulder inquired. "I needed a dress. For... a dinner." "With who?" "It's..." "It's for a blind date." "Oh." "We'd better go," Melody stated. She knew where this was headed. And it wasn't a good way to get them together. Scully agreed and they were off. Ted started up the conversation that he and Mulder had dropped. "So, why can't you tell Scully you love her, Spooky?" "I don't know." Ted had planned for this. He whipped out a poem from his back pocket. "Read this." <<<<< Why? by Melody Aaron (Scully POV) Oh, dear Mulder I love you much. But why, I ask, do we put up the walls that so separate our love? Why, do we know each other so much, yet so little? Why, do we not confess our true feelings? Is it fear? Is it loneliness? Or, dear Mulder, is it we know already?>>>>> "Mulder, do you think that describes your feelings?" "Yes, Ted, it does." Apartment of Dana Scully, 5:45 p.m. Thursday, December 24 "Melody, you still haven't told me when and where this dinner is. And who I'm going with." "It's at Angelino's, and it's at 6:30." Melody wiped sleep from her eyes. She was dead tired after staying on hold all night for reservations. "Who am I going with?" Scully demanded. "It's a blind date, remember? It's a friend of mine." Scully raised an eyebrow and walked to her room to change. 30 minutes later she walked out, ready. "Kay, now drive yourself to Angelino's. The guy better be paying, so don't bring any frogskin, cappeesh? The reservations are under Melody." Scully mumbled under her breath, "I'd rather be with Mulder." Melody heard this and was filled with shippiness. "I heard that!" She stated. "Scully, you won't regret this dinner." 34th Street, 6:20 p.m. Thursday, December 24 Zac, Melody, Austin, and Ted patiently waited for a cab. Ted buckled over at the tremendous weight of the bright blue gym bag on his shoulder. "What the hell's in there?" Zac asked. "Uh, a video camera, a Kodak camera, extra film, 'Spooky'," "Who's 'Spooky'?" Austin inquired. "Don't tell me you brought Mulder with us..." "No, it's Melody's voodoo doll. It works on Mulder... just in case he makes a bad move. As I was saying, I also brought some Tic-Tacs..." Zac jumped in with a cheer, "Poof! Be gone! Your breath is really strong! Wait, come back, you need a Tic-Tac!" "SHUT UP!!!" Melody yelled. A bronze cab pulled up and they climbed in. "Oh, crap!" Ted yelled. There were only three seats. Melody, Austin, and Zac climbed in. Ted stood for a minute, shrugged, and hopped onto Zac's lap. Melody burst into laughter. "Don't worry, Zac, Ted only weighs about 50 pounds. If you count his twenty-pounder Levi's." The cab driver sighed. "Hello, I am Habeeb, where would you like to go tonight?" "Um, Angelino's restaurant, please." He drove on as slow as he could, until Austin got furious and cried out, "Can we get moving here?" "Of course." Habeeb pushed on the gas. The kid's heads flew back and they held on for dear life. Ted slid back and forth on top of Austin, Zac, and Ted. "Are we having fun yet?" Screamed the lunatic of a driver. Melody screamed at the top of her lungs. They pulled up to Angelino's, and Melody urged the others out of the car. They ran into the fancy restaurant in time to see Mulder walk up to the Maitre `D. Ted ushered his friends into a secluded corner, and they watched, grinning. "Reservations for Melody," he said. "Oh, yes, the woman has already arrived. You're a lucky one ,sir," The woman said. He thought sadly. Mulder walked with the woman to the booth. A red head. Great. It would only make him think of Scully. The Maitre `D walked off. Wait a minute... he could recognize that perfume... Meanwhile, Austin led them to the wall behind Mulder's table. Their faces were hidden by a large tropical plant, but they could still make out the action..... "Scully?" He asked, walking around to see his date's face. It was her! "Mulder! Are you my da..." Mulder nodded. "Oh, God. How weird. They set us up." "Yeah." Mulder took his seat across from Scully. Scully yelled in her head. "So, do you think we should... still, eat?" Mulder thought. "I guess, I mean, if you want to." They ordered their food and preceded to talk about boring politics, television, yadda yadda yadda. After two hours, Melody and her pals had resulted to slump down against the wall and play 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. Finally they heard Mulder and Scully prepare to leave. Just as Mulder and Scully were sliding out of their seats, Zac stopped them. "C'mon, you're already done?" He yelped. "Sit down!!!" They ignored him and got out of their seats. Ted, utterly upset, thought quickly and grabbed a clump of mistletoe from a tabletop. He rapidly jumped onto Mulder and Scully's table and held it above their heads. Of course, they didn't notice. Poor little short Ted jumped up and down, yelling "Hello!! Heads up! KISS!!!" Dairy King, 9:05 p.m. Same night Melody was indulging in a heap of chocolate ice cream. She was *so* depressed. Ted had a Peanut Parfait, Austin was biting his nails, and Zac was chewing nervously on a slice of bread. "It never works." Melody mumbled. "What never works?" Austin asked between bites. "Everything me and you guys do always screws up. And this was the most important mission since that time we rode our bikes through the Grand Canyon. Oh, or that time you streaked, Zac." "Don't you dare," He countered. "Really. I can't do anything right. I can't sing, I can't do ballet, I can't find the courage to tell my mom I was the one who dented her Mustang..." "But, Mel, you can write a mean fanfic." Ted helped. "Thanks. According to the little amount of feedback I receive, no, I can't write a good fic, either." "No, Mel, you're wrong." "Sure. Fine. Whateber. Oh my God, I can't even say 'whatever' !!!" Melody threw her remaining ice cream at the trash can. She missed. She sighed. "Jeez." "Well, Melody, have trust that one day, Mulder and Scully WILL kiss. One day." Aaron Residence, 10:23 p.m. Same Night The bunch had found the black hole while walking around a dirty old park. they had snuck out of Christine's house and walked to Melody's. Now they sat in front of the television, watching "Bewitched". "See how Samantha twiggles her nose? I think she's like, an alien or something." Zac pointed out. "Wow." Melody was still mad at her poor job. Her fellow Shippers on the net would never believe her. "So much for little green men," Austin mused. Melody walked over to her PC and started to read an old MSR fic she had gotten off the net. she told herself. Melody looked at the 3 friends strung over her couch, so intent on the TV that even a loud cat's cry didn't bother them. She started to snicker, when her snickering turned to full-fledged laughter. Zac turned to her. "Mel, are you on Prozac?" "I used to be," she joked. "We'd better go home," Ted told the others. They all exchanged good-byes, but as Zac and Austin left, Ted hung around to say a few words of sympathy. "Mel, I know that you feel you haven't fulfilled your assigned role. But, in my opinion, you were the best person to at least try. We both know that, inside, they love each other. Your poem explains the whole relationship. We have to trust, in our hearts, that they will one day discover they were meant for one another. That will be the day that all the Shippers in the world will rejoice. Do you understand me, Melody?" "Yes." She said, overpowered. Residence of Christine Allen, 6:50 p.m. February 9, the next year The black hole opened, revealing a bottle containing a letter addressed "To Melody from Scully and Mulder". From the black hole out stepped Mulder and Scully. They were on a mission. ---------- ...Continued in part 3... Title: Christmas With G-Men, Shippers, and... Mistletoe? (3/3) Authors - Mello ------------ Christine Allen Residence, 6:50 p.m. February 9 "Ouch! Mulder, stop stepping on me!" Mulder grabbed Scully's arm and pulled her out of the closet. "Where the hell are we, Scully?" He asked. "I think we're in Melody's dimension... in some girl's room." Around the small room were posters of hot teen idols, the biggest poster being one of Leonardo Dicaprio. Stuffed bears and pandas adorned the bed, and a TV was running, playing a X-Files episode. Mulder and Scully walked curiously up to the television. "Mulder, look, it's you and me! And, oh, God, that's the case we worked on with the green monster in the woods." "The one where you sang to me, Scully." Scully blushed. "You have a beautiful voice, Scully," Mulder countered. "Thank you." Scully blushed once again. Scully became uncomfortable and switched to a more user-friendly conversation. "Mulder, this defies the laws of physics altogether. How the hell did we or could we end up here?" Mulder shrugged. "I don't know," he said firmly. They grabbed hands and slowly crept out of the room and down the stairs. Scully looked at the carpet and laughed when she noticed a piece of paper that read " Memo - Check closet for black hole after dinner." "What is it, Scully?" Mulder asked. "Nothing, Mulder, nothing." Scully thought of how they had probably broke Melody and her friends' hearts when they hadn't kissed that momentous night at Angelino's. And, unfortunately, not much had happened since. Nothing 'shippy' anyways. Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, Mulder led Scully to the kitchen, where the nearest door was. Christy and her baby-sitter were sitting at the table, so Scully quickly took Mulder into the garage, so Christy wouldn't see them. A maid was dusting some shelves when they walked in. "Aye-yie-yie! Es Mulder y Scully! Ricardo, cayate, cayate!!!" The woman freaked out. Mulder and Scully ran for a side door and kicked it open. They ran out and jumped a fence onto the sidewalk. Area of Aaron Residence, 5:30 February 14 After searching for Melody's residence and sightseeing for five days, Mulder was frustrated. "Where does Melody live?" Mulder asked. "I don't..... there! Where the sign on the door says 'Welcome to the Aaron Residence'." They walked up to the door and rang the bell. "Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming!" Melody said impatiently. She really needed to get some work done on the computer, then get ready for the party, then... Mulder and Scully were relieved to have Melody answer it. "Mulder? Scully?" She was surprised. "Yes, Melody! We found the black hole one day and ended up in your friend's closet." Melody invited them in cordially. She sat them down on a blue couch, and meandered into the kitchen. "You guys want something to drink?" She heaved a sigh of exasperation. "Sure," They said in unison. "Okay, I have water, Pepsi, orange soda, root beer...." A loud crash was heard from the kitchen. "Um, never mind, I don't have root beer, it's too damn evil. Shoot, I'm out of iced tea. Oh well. Water, Pepsi, or orange soda?" Mulder and Scully exchanged glances. Mulder said, "Scully and I will have water, please." Melody came out a second later with two of those plastic ' Lost In Space' cups. Just as she was about to hand them their drinks, she turned around and walked to the kitchen, still holding the cups. "What're you doing?" Mulder yelled to the kitchen. "You guys can't have these cups. I just remembered that Mimi Rogers was in 'Lost in Space', and you know how I feel about her..." Melody poured both cups into more *appropriate* glasses. Mulder and Scully shrugged. Mel brought out the water and seated herself on an antique chair in the corner. "So, what's up?" "Not much. We haven't had a case since you left." Scully answered. "Then what have you been doing?" "Mulder's been watching his porno, I've been doing work on my computer. Same old, same old." "You know," Scully said, setting down her drink, "when you said that you came from another dimension, I thought you were just a prankster, but I never thought in my wildest dreams that there were other dimensions. I mean, it defies the laws of physics." "Well, I guess not, or at least not in our dimension... or world... or maybe universe... then again, it could be called a galax-" "Get on with it, Melody." Mulder grunted. "As I was saying, I guess it doesn't defy the laws of physics in our 'world'... whatever." She glanced at her watch. "I'm having a party in 20 minutes, so you guys can stay if you want." "Where's your mom and dad?" Mulder asked. "Oh, they went on another business trip. They're coming home on the 23rd, I think. My bro Steve is baby-sitting, and he went to a party. Okay, um, I gotta get dressed, so help yourself to any refreshments." Melody gestured to a large table full of food. She walked upstairs to get changed. Meanwhile, Mulder picked up a paper sitting on the couch. "A guest list," he said. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^ GUESTS 4 MELLY'S PARTY ^ Natasha "Psycho" Miller Ted "That's a nice name" Rosario Zac "Boo" Santana Austin "Sale!" Elberto Greg " The Great Depression" Wu Eric "Mr." Rogers Alex "Sicko" Baker Christy "Ethan" Allen ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hey, look, Scully! Ted, Zac, and Austin are coming." "Yay," Scully said sarcastically. Aaron Residence 20 minutes later Melody rushed down the steps as the doorbell rang. Mulder sat on the couch, reading the Business section of the newspaper, and Scully was reading a poetry book. "Mulder, Scully, go hide in the kitchen!!! I'll call you out once everyone's here," Melody said in a voice just above a whisper. Scully pulled Mulder, who still was engrossed on reading information on NYSE, into the kitchen. "I don't wanna go, Scully! Please, I'll give you a kiss if you let me stay!" Scully thought. "Cut the crap, Mulder, and get in the kitchen." Melody rushed towards the door as the person rang it steadfastly. "Hold up!" She yelled. She clipped on her earrings and opened the door. "Nat! Come in," she said graciously. Natasha smiled. "So, anyone here yet, Melly?" Melody shook her head. "Oh, well. I saw Ted walking with Greg up the sidewalk. He should be here any..." *Ding dong!* "Now, I guess." Ted opened the door. "What's up, Ted and Greg?" Nat asked. "Everything above your eyes," Ted retorted. Greg stayed quiet as Melody seated them all in chairs on the patio. The rest of the guests arrived, all in a time span of five minutes. "Okay, lemme check off who all is here," Melody stated. "Greg, Ted, Nat, Austin, Zac, Eric, Ally, Christy, and me! Everyone's here." Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Mulder had finished his reading and was watching Scully inspect her nails. He heaved a sigh and said, "I can't stand it anymore, Scully. Let's go outside." "No, Mulder, she said to...." Mulder forced Scully outside. Ted, Austin, Zac, and Christy smiled and greeted Mulder and Scully, while Natasha, Greg, Eric, and Ally gawked. "You got Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny to come to your party?" Alex was astonished. "Cool!!!" "No, this Fox Mulder, and this is Dana Scully," Melody acknowledged. "Not Gillian and David." She wondered. Austin was playing with a yo-yo a few feet away. "Yo, Austin, my man!" Melody yelled. "Your man?" Scully asked quizzically. "Just some slang," she replied, wondering what Scully was implying. she thought, Austin walked over to Melody. "Yeah, what you want, Melly Belly?" "Could you please explain what happened last Christmas?" Austin nodded. After around a hour of explaining the whole mess that had occurred that fateful Winter and listening to Alex's skeptical theories on inter-dimensional travel, Melody stopped Austin. He was explaining too much. "You are so overly punctual, Austin." "And you are not punctual enough, Mel." Eric started up the par-tay with his Mr. Rogers impression. "Hi, I'm Mr. Eric Rogers. Mr. Rogers couldn't be here today, so I'll be your friend instead. Welcome to the neighborhood! Or you could call it the get-to. Ghetto Supastar, that is what you are! It's a beautiful day to kill someone, it's a beautiful day to kill someone..." Melody brought out some Pizza-Hut and everyone ate pleasingly. She calmed Eric down by sitting him in front of the TV. "I love Reading Rainbow!" He said, clapping his hands. "Mulder, you're just like a little boy sometimes," Scully said as he led her around the house to a fence. Inside was a Golden Retriever, who was licking it's squeaky - toy and wagging it's tail. "Mulder, I'm warning you, don't open the..." Mulder opened the gate, against Scully's wishes. The dog eagerly jumped onto Scully, knocking her backwards. "Mulder!" Scully yelled, pissed off, as the dog licked her face. Mulder was able to get the dog off of her and force it into it's cage. He helped Scully up and wiped her face with a napkin. "Ooh, Scully, you're so cute when you're angry!" Scully shot him an Oscar-worthy glare and stomped her way into the house. Greg walked in at the same time to see Scully plop down in a chair in the TV room. "Hey, Miss Scully, I think Mulder really likes you," he said comfortingly. "Sure he does," Scully said in a voice just above a whisper. "Whatever." Greg did his little shrug and walked into the dining room for some more Cheetos. He thought. Scully pondered Greg's words. Melody gathered the clique into the TV room and announced, "Now we're gonna play the Awards Ceremony. We will be nominating people for awards, such as Best Joker, Best Singer, and so on. This game tends to break hearts and mend them too, so be careful what you say. Now, nominations for Best Singer!!!" "Greg!" "Melly!" "Mulder!" Natasha scribbled those names onto a white board and announced, "Now, those nominees are going to have to sing. The best singer wins, um, our unconditional devotion! Kay, Greg, you're first." Greg stood up shyly and began to sing. "Downtown by myself and I've had too much caffeine.... blah blah blah.......I smell sex and, candy, yeah! Who's that lounging, in my chair? Who's that castin' devious stares in my direction, baby this surely, is a dream, yeah dig it, yeah mama this surely, is a dream." The bunch clapped loudly and Greg bowed. Melody took her place in the front and took a deep breath. "And now," she announced sarcastically, "Melody Aaron will sing one of her favorite songs, 'Nobody Likes Me'!" She took another deep breath and began to sing: "Nobody likes me Everybody hates me So I'm gonna eat some worms! Big fat juicy ones Small, slim slimy ones Itsy bitsy fuzzy wuzzy worms!" The audience clapped and looked towards Mulder. He smiled shyly and stood. "Can this be true, tell me can this be real How can I put into words what I feel My life was complete, I thought I was whole Why do I feel like I'm losing control I never thought love could feel like this Then you changed my world with just one kiss How can it be that right here with me There's an angel, it's a miracle" Melody nudged Nat. "Nattie, look! Mulder's looking at Scully! He's singing to her!" "Your love is a river Peaceful and deep Your soul is like a secret that I never could keep When I look into your eyes I know that it's true God must have spent a little more time on you." Scully was saddened when Mulder stopped singing. He blushed and turned from her. she thought. Natasha woke up from her shippy trance and said, "Kay, now, everyone vote. Who votes Greg?" No one spoke. "Melly?" No reaction. "Mulder?" Everyone raised their hands. "Mulder is now officially declared 'Best Singer'. Now, what should we do next?" The next award was "Funny Dude". Ted, Zac, and Christy were nominated. Christy put on masks and jumped around singing. Ted did his gang member impression. When Zac's turn came around, he said: "A guy walked into a bar. It was a steel bar, it hurt like hell." That didn't get too many laughs. They preceded with more awards, when finally Mulder got an idea. "Hey, how about I take you all out for a little joy ride?" He held up and waggled the keys. Ted kept his cool and high-fived him. Melody, Natasha, Zac, Greg, Mulder and Scully jumped into the car. "Oh, crap. Don't do this to me again..." Ted said, looking inside the car. "Where am I gonna sit?" "You could sit on Zac's lap again," Melody proposed. Ted was thrown in the trunk. A muffled "I'm gonna die in here!" could be heard from inside the trunk. Within the trunk, Ted squirmed between the briefcases and rental car forms. "I can't breathe!" He yelled. Zac turned on some Will Smith. "Yeah, Jiggy!" He shouted. "How do you like this stuff?" Scully asked over the loud voices. "We just do!" Natasha yelped, bobbing her head with the music. After about ten miles, Mulder jerked the car off the road, next to a wooded area. Zac jumped out and grabbed a can of spray paint. He sprayed a big "X" in the bike lane. "I've always wanted to do that," he stated gleefully. Mulder stared at the steering wheel in deep thought. "Scully, could I talk to you for a minute?" She nodded and they walked into the woods. Melody and the gang followed. She stopped after a couple steps and helped Ted out of the trunk. "Sorry, Tedster." They eavesdropped on the conversation. "Scully, about me singing to you at the party..." "Mulder, don't bother." "I meant to sing to you." Scully said, her voice wavering: "Do you think-" "That there is something other than friendship between us?" "Yeah." Scully nodded shamefully. "Maybe, Scully... let's find out." He pulled her close, until their lips were only inches away. "Kiss me, you fool!" She giggled nervously. Their lips met in ecstasy. It was about time. "Houston, we have lift off!" Zac mused. "Shhhh!" quieted Melody, lost in the moment. After they kissed, they hugged. Mulder ran to the car, then came back to Scully with a bunch of flowers and a box of candy. Greg broke into a song of "I smell flowers and, candy, yeah! Who's that kissin' my partner, who's that castin' Ice Queen stares in my direction, yeah `Shippers this surely is a dream! Dig it, yeah." ---------------- The end! For reals! I promise. I swear. Pleeease? Feedback? Anything is welcome. I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! :) NOTE TO GOSSAMER: This is not an unfinished fanfic, so please archive it in the completed stories archive. Thank you! Mello mello@usa.com "Life... is weeb."