From: Amatia <violinst@ultra1.pitnet.net>
Date: Mon, 5 Apr 1999 23:09:32 -0500 (CDT)
Subject: "The City on the Edge of Forever" (1/1) by Amatia


Title: The City on the Edge of Forever
Author: Amatia
Email: violinst@pitnet.net
Category: V, A
Spoilers: "Zero Sum"
Rating: PG
Archiving: Gossamer. All others please ask first.
Feedback: Please! violinst@pitnet.net
Summary: Skinner realizes the reason behind his cover-up work in "Zero Sum".


***

"The City on the Edge of Forever"
by Amatia


	It is my punishment, this gnawing terror.

	It is the price I must pay to make him listen to me.

	The nature of my promise terrifies my, but I have to stay quiet
about this, and I don't even know entirely what I've done.

	If that black lunged bastard kills Scully, I will testify to what
he did, and I will go to jail for it. But I don't care, if that is the only
thing I can do for her.

	I am standing on the edge of forever here, and each of my movements
have already been choregraphed. And whom ever has done the choreography has
brought me very close to the edge, I can feel the wind on my face...

	I have allowed my feelings for her to show too much, even to
myself. I've always tried to put forth a calm face, but I can't stay calm
about this, knowing that if I make a mistake, it's her life. I told him
that I would do his bidding if he would save her. I sold my soul to the
devil.

	I don't want to trust him - I don't know if I should. But there are
no other steps I can take to help her. I've tried. I've been to every
oncologist in the city, asking if there was any way to help her. I can't
stand to watch Mulder crumble as she dies, he's one of my best agents. And
I can't stand watching Scully fade away...

	I haven't felt this kind of pain since I watched my friends die in
Vietnam.

	I've never admitted to anyone, not even myself before this moment,
that I love her.

	Even as I try my hardest to keep from crossing him, I don't know
how much longer I can keep from pointing a gun at his chest and finally
pulling the trigger - and seeing that red stain spread across his shirt. If
he doesn't save her life, I will kill him. And I will smile as I do it.

	Working for him goes against everything I have ever believed in.
Covering up this case, these bees, this is my punishment. And I will do it
to the best of my ability.

	Because her life will be my reward.


	<end>

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