From: ephemeral@ephemeralfic.org Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2001 03:30:21 -0600 Subject: Cold by Teresa Garrison Source: direct Reply To: tazresa@msn.com Author: Teresa Garrison Title: Cold Category: SA Spoilers: This Is Not Happening, slight Per Manum reference Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never have, never will. Archive: Anywhere, just let me know so I can visit. Feedback: tazresa@msn.com In disbelief I stare down at your body on the ground. Dropping to my knees beside you, I reach out my trembling hand to touch your face, willing it to be warm and alive under my fingers. My mind processes all the obvious signs of the truth - the texture and color of the skin on your once beautiful face, the chill feel of decay that I've felt a million times before on the countless bodies I've examined and autopsied. My heart can only see that you're hurt and need help. It can't understand why everyone around us is just standing there, not lifting a finger to save you. I feel the slap of tree branches as I run stumbling through the woods to find Jeremiah Smith. He saved the others, I'll make him save you. `This can't be happening. Don't leave me Mulder. I need you. Don't leave. Not now.' If I keep telling myself this isn't real, it won't be. I'll wake up and discover that this is just another horrible dream. C'mon Dana - WAKE UP! As soon as I see the ship, I know what's going to happen. I race towards the house, determined to find a way to keep them from taking Mulder's only chance with them. The light is blinding and I can't help but feel as dazed and terrified as the others in the house. I'm frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch in horror as the light fades away. The sight of the empty room is too much, and I collapse in despair. I realize then that I'm living my worst nightmare. I've failed you. You're really gone. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Squinting against the light shining in my face, I open my eyes and look around in confusion. After a few moments, I recognize my hotel room. A glance at the clock tells me it's after 3am. The only light in the room is the glare of the parking lot lights shining through the cracks in the curtains. It was just a dream. I'm in a nameless room somewhere, on yet another case, and I know you have to be down the hall safe in your own bed. I stare at my window, remembering how I saw your faint image there in my dream right before that other agent came into the room. Strangely, it seems like I can still see your ghostly shape standing there, quietly watching me. I reach over to switch on my bedside light and the last remnants of the dream fade. I look around and confirm that I am really alone in my room. I am really alone. A chill washes down my spine and I reach for my cell phone and hit your number on the speed dial. I know you'll tease me, but I just have to know you're okay. I need to hear your voice. One ring. Two. Then the message which freezes my blood. "The number you have reached is no longer in service. Please check the number and try again." No. Please God, no. I try again, dialing the number myself this time. Same message. It wasn't a dream. It's true. You're gone. You disappeared months ago, and we just found your body earlier tonight in the woods. I've lost you forever. My phone drops from my numb fingers and my mind barely registers the sound of it hitting the floor. I close my eyes, feeling the tears seep out from under my swollen lids. I lay there, letting the tears run down my face unchecked. I'm too tired and numb to do anything more. An eternity seems to pass before I sense something different in the room. The faint brush of fingers on my cheeks wiping away my tears rouses me enough to open my eyes. My grieving and exhausted mind takes a while to process the vision in front of me. Your healthy face near mine. The love shining out of your hazel eyes. The gentle smile curving your lips. My mouth opens and closes, trying to form the words I need to say. You place your finger over my lips to quiet me, and lean in to gently kiss my forehead. Using the same gesture you've used to comfort me before, you gently rest your forehead against mine. "You're not alone, Scully. Remember that. I love you. No matter what happens I'll always with you in spirit, if not in the flesh. I'll walk by your side again, never doubt that. "Never give up on a miracle." Even as I watch you fade from my sight, my heavy lids close over my eyes. I drift back into slumber comforted by your words. Through the years, I've watched you do the impossible. I know you'll do it again. Somehow, some way, you'll find your way back to me. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX "Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a little while." - from The Princess Bride