Subject: REPOST: Comparisons 1&2 (MSF) From: MaryKathryn.S.Robinson.50@nd.edu (MaryKathryn Squire Robinson) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Hi everyone! This piece is an oldie, but I've written a new story and wanted to give everyone some background on the comparisons series. Enjoy, and please e-mail me at marykathryn.s.robinson.50@nd.edu Marykate Original Date: 23 Oct 1995 20:32:32 -0400 ***COMPARISONS*** ( a comedy) TIME SPAN - ANY (PROBABLY THIRD SEASON, BUT NO SPOILERS) INSPIRATION - My own twisted mind. DISCLAIMER - Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are owned by Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions. No copyright infringement intended. (The other people mentioned in the story are owned by other people, also not me.) BEGGING AND PLEADING PART - Please write me and give me your take on the story. My address is marykathryn.s.robinson.50@nd.edu. If you read my other story, QUESTIONS - WHEN, you would know my little deal. If you write to me, I will dedicate my next story to you. (I know, what a great incentive. Yeah, you wish you were me, I know.) DEDICATION - To my older brother and sister, Sean and Tracy. They have taught me the intricacies of sarcasm and making fun of people. Thanks, guys (sob)! * * * * * **COMPARISONS** MaryKathryn S. Robinson mksr79@aol.com "Thanks for inviting me, Jenny, but I'm busy tonight...What? Oh, Mulder and I rented a movie...No, it's not that. We're friends. Well, not just friends. I can't explain...Okay, I'll call you tomorrow. Bye." Dana Scully hung up the phone, exasperated. "What are we, Mulder?" She passed him the popcorn and sat down on the couch. "It's kind of hard to explain our relationship to everyone. We're partners, friends, NOT lovers, and all that other good stuff. So, what are we?" He looked up from the popcorn bowl and looked at her. "Mmmph hmp hmm." He swallowed. "Sorry. What I was saying was we're like Sonny and Cher. We've got each other, and I plan on becoming mayor of Palm Springs." Scully smothered a grin. "Nice try Mulder, but you're not a foot shorter than me." "If I were, I'd be a midget." He ducked the popcorn missiles. "Okay then, smarty, you try." She thought for a second. "Okay, what about Frank and Murphy from 'Murphy Brown'? They're best friends, and platonic. You know, like us." "Are you calling me a balding neurotic? Thanks, Scully. I didn't know how little you cared." "Oh, be quiet. Next." He sat up from his position on the floor. "I've got it. Bart and Millhouse from 'The Simpsons.'" "Oh yeah, there's a mature television show," she murmured under her breath. "I heard that. Here's the logic - Bart watches Millhouse's back (like the time he was going out with the girl), and in turn, Millhouse trades Bart's soul in for Alf pogs. Perfect match." "Well, Mulder, it's logically impossible. Its-" "God, it sounds like you're at work." Quieted by Scully's withering glance, he let her continue." "Number one - we're not animated. Two - Are you saying that you own my soul??? Wishful thinking. Now, this is the perfect match - ET and the little kid whose name I can't remember. ET believes in extra-terrestrials (obviously), and that kid doesn't believe until he sees. Then, they form a lasting friendship based on chocolate." "Oh yeah, that one was a good one, Scully. I'm NOT an extra-terrestrial, I'm not fixated on M&Ms, and my finger doesn't glow. Nuh-uh." Both were silent for a few minutes, thinking of a match. Mulder jumped up. "Got it. Bill Clinton and Al Gore. The two work in perfect harmony, and have intelligent discussions together. Hah!" "Nope. How do we know if they even like one another? How do we know they're intelligent? Actually, I don't think I've ever seen them in the same room together. Maybe...they're the same person. Sounds like an X-file." "Sounds like you're making fun of me. I have another match - "Chris and Rita from 'Silk Stalkings'. They're partners, best friends, NOT lovers, and 'all that other good stuff.' Beat that, Scully." She frowned in concentration. "Oh, that was a good one." She brightened. "What about the unresolved sexual tension? They're not going to stay platonic for long. Want to try again?" How he wanted to wipe that silly smirk off her face. "Since you're having so much fun shooting down my theories, why don't YOU try one?" "How about...Matt and Allison from 'Melrose Place'? They-" She was cut off by a disbelieving Mulder. "YOU watch 'Melrose Place'? My my my, the true Dana Katherine Scully comes out. A closet soap watcher. Hah! And, as they in the game Memory, it's not a match. I'm not gay." "How would you Matt is gay unless you watched it too?" She retaliated. It was Mulder's turn to stutter. "Well, I, ... okay, I watch it. Are you happy now?" At Mulder's blush, Scully grinned. "Very." The two sat in silence for a bit. "C'mon, Mulder, pop Pulp Fiction in." "Got it." As the two sat on the couch watching the opening credits, they thought about the past discussion. They needed no labels, or something to compare themselves with. They were in a class by themselves. * * * * * * "Every one that flatters thee Is no friend in misery. Words are easy, like the wind; Faithful friends are hard to find." -Richard Barnfield ********** Original Date: 16 Mar 1996 14:01:06 -0500 ***COMPARISONS 2 - The Sequel*** TIME SPAN - THIRD SEASON AFTER "WOTC" SUMMARY - As last seen in "Comparisons" Fox Mulder and Dana Scully discussed what other famous relationship they could draw to parallels to. Now others do the same (while conversing about some other things - I went off on a tangent). INSPIRATION - My own twisted mind. DISCLAIMER - Fox Mulder and Dana Scully are owned by Chris Carter and Ten Thirteen Productions. No copyright infringement intended. (The other people mentioned in the story are owned by other people, also not me.) BEGGING AND PLEADING PART - Please write me and give me your take on the story. My address is marykathryn.s.robinson.50@ND.EDU. * * * * * **COMPARISONS 2 - The Sequel** MaryKathryn S. Robinson robinson@htp.net "Thank you for meeting me for lunch, Mr. Skinner." Margaret Scully held out her hand to the tall, bald headed man across the table. He had a good handshake, she decided. Firm and strong. The mark of a good man. "Please call me Walter. I'm glad that you invited me, Margaret, although I'm not sure I understand why." She waited until the waiter handed Skinner the menu and left. "You've done so much for Dana and myself. I just wanted to thank you." "Dana is a fine agent. I admire her greatly. She's a strong, independent woman who knows her mind." He picked up his scotch and soda and took a sip. "I really shouldn't admit this, but Dana is one of my favorite persons in the bureau." "As well as Fox." Margaret felt the corners of her mouth turn upward. Dana had told her of her partner and the Assistant Director's frequent run-ins. He grimaced slightly. "I'm surprised that you can call him that and still be alive." "I'm the only exception to the rule, along with his mother. Walter, I have gotten to know Fox pretty well since Dana was assigned to the X-files, and I know he can be he can be a hard-headed man he can be sometimes. But Mulder is basically a good man. His search for his sister is the driving force behind him, and it makes him go over the edge and back." "It's just that at times he can be so..." Skinner ran his hands over his hairless head, wondering where it had gone. "Mulder is a brilliant analyst, investigator. And I am very protective of him and Scully. The X-Files have led them to some dangerous situations, and maybe that is why he is so... It's just that he needs to learn restraint, some tact." "Hopefully Dana can teach some of that." "Sometimes it seems as if she is the only one with her head screwed on straight. But somehow they seem to get along *very* well." He leaned across the table, lowering the voice. "Margaret, I have a suspicion that Mulder and Dana are more than just friends. Am I correct?" "Unfortunately, no." His head dropped a little. She rushed to assure him. "Not yet, that is. I'm glad that I am not the only one that sees what is going on between them!" He smiled. "You definitely are not. Ever since they were thrown together-" "And when Dana disappeared he was so upset-" "You should have seen her after he returned from New Mexico!" They laughed, glad to have someone else to talk about their senses. The discussion lasted through soup, salad, and entree, until the two were sipping their coffee. "Walt, tell me something. Do Dana and Fox remind you of Harry and Sally from _When Harry Met Sally_?" "I never thought about it." "They do for me. The friendship growing into love, the jealousy, the trust between them, the constant fighting..." "That could be them. Did Scully tell you about that entomologist in Massachusetts?" "Bambi? Yes. I thought she was going to burst. 'Can you believe it, Mom? Her name is *Bambi.*' " "It was pretty funny." "But can't you see it?" Scully is a meticulous female, just like Meg Ryan. And Mulder is a pessimistic sarcastic male, just like-" "Billy Crystal. Well, not I am never going to be able to watch that movie again." He thought for a moment, and then grinned. "Well, Maggie, since you brought it up, I have a comparison for you. Did you ever read Nancy Drew when you were little, and the Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys crossover books?" "Frank and Nancy! I never thought about that." "Even if we went by physical characteristics it would be true. Nancy is a redhead, blue eyes, short to medium height, whereas Frank is dark haired, dark eyed, and six one." "Then both of them are detectives, although I don't think either carry a gun." "But they are best friends, and although every once in a while they come close to crossing the line between friendship and romance." "Somebody knows an awful lot about Nancy Drew and Frank Hardy." He blushed, the blood rushing to the surface, coloring his cheeks and head red. "I have some nieces who enjoy the books. I try to pick a couple up every time I visit my brother's." "That's very sweet." The blush worsened. "Sometimes I think that Mulder and Scully are children. I'm so protective of them it's as if they are four year olds." "I know the feeling. I feel like a father, protecting his kids and having to reprimand them as well." "Well, it seems like we're in the same boat, doesn't it?" She smiled at him, and he knew he was right to meet the lovely Mrs. Scully for lunch. "How would you like to go out to dinner Friday night?" THE END * * * * * * ***IMPORTANT*** Okay, maybe not *that* important, but it got you to read this, didn't it? Anyway, I would love to write this as an ongoing series, but I need some more comparisons. Could you help me out here? Send me your thoughts and ideas, and I will be sure to cite you in Comparisons 3! (I just got finished with term papers and endnotes!) PLEASE? Subject: REPOST - Comparisons 3&4 (MSF/MSR) From: MaryKathryn.S.Robinson.50@nd.edu (MaryKathryn Squire Robinson) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative Once again, some oldies but goodies. The next ones will be new. ORIGINAL DATE Subject: NEW - Comparisons 3 Date: 27 Apr 1996 20:33:28 GMT *****Comparisons 3***** TIME SPAN - 1996 (THIRD SEASON) SUMMARY - The author and her friends get together to examine the characters of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, while comparing them to other couples. DISCLAIMER - Do I HAVE to? (Oh yeah, I do). I am using the characters of Fox Mulder and Dana Scully without the permission of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, or Ten Thirteen. Although, I'm sure if they did know, they would let me! (No copyright infringement intended). DEDICATION - To all of my friends in this story: Al, Jay, Kurt, Sherin, and Sue. * * * * * **Comparisons 3** MaryKathryn S. Robinson MaryKathryn.S.Robinson.50@nd.edu They sat on the plush striped sofas, the television flickering in the background as they went about their business. It was a motley crew, six people who were nothing alike. Al, the dark skinned Indian who everyone described as "cute," lounged on the loveseat, sharing the space with Sherin, the younger Egyptian who had just recently joined "The Crew." Adjacent to them on the bigger couch sat Sue, her curly hair bouncing up and down as she tried to teach Sherin her family's native Portuguese. Oblivious to all of them was Kurt and Jason. Sitting at the coffee table between the two couches, the males bent their heads down, staring intently at the chess board. It was a picture in contrast, blonde versus brown. MaryKate entered her kitchen, cleaning on the way. "Come on, guys. What do you want to do?" Taking a scrunchie out of her jeans pocket, she pulled her dark blonde hair into a ponytail. She was answered with a chorus of "I don't know"s. "Please don't do this to me. It's a Saturday night! What about going to Romancing the Bean? Bowling? Movies?" The note of exasperation raised with each suggestion. Al turned his head from the conversation he was having with Sherin. "We *always* do those things." "Kurt? Jay?" she turned in despair to the guys on the floor. "Can't talk. I'm busy kicking Jay's ass." "Don't think so." Jay punched his best friend in the arm. "Check. Get out of that!" Coming between the couches, MaryKate's green eyes sparkled as she offered the next suggestion. "What if I pop in one of my X-Files tapes?" Reactions were mixed, as she knew they would be. "Cool!" Sherin looked excited. "Do you have 'Fire'?" "No way, Mixer. I'm not watching a stupid show like that." Kurt turned his head from the game long enough to utter his answer. "That's a good idea, MaryKate. Did you ever get to watch that one from last week?" Al replaced his glasses on the bridge of his nose. "I don't think so, Mare." Jay returned his head back to its normal position. "Move the rook back, Kurt!" "I should have known. I'm never going to turn you into philes." MaryKate moved back to the kitchen counter, sitting on the unsafe stool. "I guess that's cool X-Files lingo, right?" "Yes it is, *Kurt*," MaryKate answered, throwing him her one and only death look. "Internet fans call themselves X-Philes. You know, like pedophiles. Right Jay?" "Right." "Anyone who calls themselves philes must be wusses!" Al received the patented MK glare. "Just kidding." "'Sokay, Al. I know you don't mean it. Some of my best friends are on-line." Sue looked up in interest. "Who? Any cute guys?" "I don't know Sue. It's not like I can see them or anything!" Luckily her friends understood MaryKate's sarcasm. "Anyway, there's Keri, Charleyne, Luc, June, Raquel, and a lot more. You know that I run eXtreme Possibilities, a relationship fan fiction mailing list. So there are a lot of us out there. We're coming for you." "Ha ha, very funny." "Sherin, back me up here." "'The X-Files' is a great show. You should watch it." A thought entered Sherin's head. "How are your stories coming, MaryKate?" She thought for a moment. "Okay. I am still working on the Questions series, and a couple of sequels for a number of older stories. Right now I'm really stuck on Comparisons Three. It's driving me crazy." Sue finally spoke up. "Comparisons Three?" "It's a group of stories 'comparing' Mulder and Scully to other famous couple, hence the title Comparisons. In fact," an idea striking her suddenly, "You can all help me out here. You've all seen the show at least once, right?" They nodded their assent. "Can you think of any comparisons for Mulder and Scully?" For once the group remained silent. Kurt finally spoke up. "They're a lot like that couple of that other dumb show you watch, "Silk Stalkings." "Yes, they are." MaryKate answered him calmly, used to his abrasive behavior. "But that was a pair in the first 'Comparisons.' Get with the program." "Well, why don't you let us read your stories first?" "And let you ridicule me? I think not, my obnoxious friend." Thinking, she offered her own suggestion. "Remington Steele and Laura Holt from the now-defunct 'Remington Steele.' Ever see it?" They shook their heads no. "Did you watch television in the eighties? It was great. Pierce Brosnan played this guy who assumes the role of Remington Steele. He's a character made up by Laura Holt, as played by Stephanie Zimbalist. They dislike one another at first, but then they fall in love." "AWWWW." Jay sighed softly. "How cute." "I don't need to give you my stories. You'll find other ways to make fun of me." Gently knocking Jay on the head, she sat down on the edge of the couch. "Here are the resemblances. Extremely good looking guy, sexual tension, and the woman is the *real* boss. What do you think?" Clearing his throat, Al began his dissertation. "Possibly, MaryKate. The similarities between the names is visible. The name Remington Steele is definitely out there, as is the name Fox Mulder." "I don't know why I even try talking to you guys!" MaryKate threw her hands up in disgust. The sudden movement shifted her precarious position on the couch, and she found herself on the carpeted floor. "Ouch." Pulling herself up, she walked away from the group, heading towards the refrigerator. "I'll make a list by myself. Let's go back to watching television and being bored." Strangely enough, the comment had created a number of comparisons. "I have one, Mah." Sherin turned her backwards baseball cap around and pointed to the characters. "Pinky and the Brain from the 'Animaniacs.'" "Sherin, can you *please* explain to me how two humans are like one tyrannical and one stupid mouse?" Now intrigued, Jay turned away from the chess board to stare at Sherin. "Do tell." "Okay." Sherin smoothed her hair, a nervous habit. "Okay. The Brain is short and, how do you say, generously proportioned while Pinky is tall and lanky. Scully and Mulder. One's trying to take over the world while the other is an unwitting accomplice. Mulder and Scully." MaryKate took a swig of her ice tea (for she had given up carbonated beverages) before answering. "Uh, Sherin, I don't know how to say this, but-" "Ahhhh." The annoying sound radiated from Kurt. "It's not a match. Please try again." Sue agreed. "First of all, Sherin-" "Mulder and Scully are human!" Al took his frustrations out on the nearest article, causing the apricot poodle that was sleeping peacefully by his side to run away in distress. She continued. "Okay, that too, but what I was going to say was that Mulder's not trying to take over the world, or is he such a 'brain.' For God's sakes, the man loses his gun in every episode!" Jay had returned to the chess game, talking with his back facing the rest of the bunch. "I don't think that Scully chick was dumb, either." "Correct." MaryKate walked over and patted him on the head. "Good boy. You're learning. Now if we can only eliminate the word 'chick' from your vocabulary." Opting your the floor this time, she slid down the couch front to rest her back on the furniture. "Next?" "Charlie Brown and Lucy Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is." Sue spouted. "Sounds like an x-file." Kurt muttered from his place behind the black king. "I heard that, Kurt. Now shut up, or I'm going to have to bring up you obsession with 'The Gummi Bears.'" MaryKate turned her attention back to Sue. "Explanation, please." "Charlie Brown's a loser (and don't give me that look MaryKate because you know Mulder is), and Lucy is this suave, confident young woman who's there to pull his chains. That's what Scully was supposed to do in the beginning, right? More proof is the little football thing. Charlie Brown's main goal in life is to kick the football. Mulder's main goal in life is to find his sister. Lucy keeps teasing Charlie Brown with the football and then taking it away. Scully tries to help Mulder but then has to go off and say 'I don't believe.' *That's* necessary. Finally, Charlie Brown goes to Lucy for psychiatric advice, whereas Mulder cries on Scully's shoulder. Ta da." Sue finished with a flourish, bowing gracefully. "You've really been paying attention in your creative writing class, haven't you?" MaryKate said admiringly. Sherin spoke up. "Sue, I don't really know how to say this, but-" "What the hell are you talking about?" "Al, you have such a way with words." Sherin continued. "The football stands for Samantha? That's a compliment. 'My dear sister, I liken you to an inanimate object.' But how does Scully keep taking away Samantha from him? I don't get it." "Not many of us do, Sherin." Jay said softly, his energies concentrated on the chess match. "I do get the psychiatric advice part, though." Sherin added helpfully. "So we still haven't found the perfect match." MaryKate mused, flipping through the TV Guide. Al answered her. "What about Batman and Batgirl? Crime fighters, save the world, have deep psychological problems. Sounds good?" "Good, except for the fact that-" 'Mulder and Scully don't wear vulcanized suits and their For Taurus can't even begin to match the Batmobile." Kurt lifted his head. "Checkmate." "Damn!" Jay got up from the coffee table, heading to the food. "I was so close." MaryKate cleared her throat. "Can we get back to the conversation at hand? I just have one question for everyone - why are all of these characters from cartoons?" "Don't know." "Can't say." "Just 'cause." "I like it that way." "Don't look at me!" Jay traveled to the cupboard for a glass. "I wasn't involved in this silly little game." "Well, I think I have enough comparisons now for number three, but I don't really have a premise. Anyone help me out here?" "How about a group of people sitting around talking about 'The X-Files' and the characters Mulder and Scully remind them of?" Al queried. "I don't know, Al. I don't think it would work." * * * * * COMPARISONS 4 Original Date: Fri, 31 May 1996 22:12:28 -0600 This story is written by MaryKathryn Robinson. Please archive it as such. Thank you. *************** TIME SPAN - ANY DISCLAIMER - I am not the ones getting rich off the characters of Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and others characters of Chris Carter. They are making Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting Company rich. Any of you want to pay for my college tuition? SUMMARY - On a flight to Washington, Mulder and Scully are discussed by two women behind them. THANK YOU TO - Luc, because the premise to this story was his idea. Thank you! STAY TUNED -Please send me a message at MaryKathryn.S.Robinson.50@nd.edu. DEDICATION - To everyone who has ever written me about my stories, especially the beginning ones. Thank you very much. It's because of you that I am able to write! ***** **Comparisons 4** MaryKathryn S. Robinson robinson@htp.net Dana Scully yawned, handing her ticket over the counter to the attendant. "Tell me something, Mulder. Was it absolutely necessary for you to book us on a midnight flight to Seattle? I'm sure that the mutants can wait until morning." Mulder ushered her down the ramp to the airplane. "C'mon, Scully, you can get some sleep on the way there. And we'll arrive in plenty of time for the nine o'clock briefing, and maybe get some rest beforehand." Giving him the patented Scully glare, Dana stopped in the middle of the walkway. "The least you could have done was spring for first class." "On a federal employee's salary? No way." He pushed her forward. "Complain, complain. Let's just sit down and shut up, shall we?" "Just for that remark, Mulder, you have earned the right to act as my pillow for the rest of the trip." With that, Scully boarded the plane, Mulder close behind. * * * * * "Look." The woman nudged her seatmate. "Aren't they cute?" The other woman looked in the direction her friend was pointing. Across the aisle sat a youngish man and woman, obviously very close. The lanky man's brown hair meshed with the short red head's locks as they sat soundly asleep, one head on top of the other. Somehow, either voluntarily or subconsciously, they had joined hands, holding tightly. "Very cute. What do you think? Engaged or married?" "Engaged." The older woman said it with conviction. "They are so much in love. Can't you see that? They still like being together, holding each other, touching." the woman paused, then spoke again. "Then again, they could just be business partners. I heard them say something before about being on a case." "But they obviously love one another." "Definitely." They sat silent, watching the two people sitting diagonally across from them. Finally the younger woman spoke. "Nora, do you know who they remind me of?" "I know who they remind *me* of, but you go first." Sophie sat back in the airplane seat, almost knocking her soda over in the process. "Did you ever see the movie _Holiday_ with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn?" At Nora's negative nod she continued. "It is about a man who falls for his fiancee's sister. Grant has this...charm about him. I just have this feeling that he does too." "Remind me to rent this movie." "Think about it." Sophie sat up, her eyes bright. "Katharine Hepburn is a terrific individual who doesn't need a man to determine her life. You saw how the red haired lady stood up to him before." "True, true. I just wish we knew what they were like. It would make these comparisons a lot easier to prove." Nora chuckled. "Okay, my turn. Demi Moore and Tom Cruise from _A Few Good Men_. I know you saw it, since we saw it together. This sort of builds on what little we know about this couple - Danny and Jo work for the federal government. And I have this feeling that these people are lawyers." "Doctors." "What?" "I think they're doctors. Look at their hands. Both have clean functional nails, but the woman's are cut short and there's no polish on them. She's a doctor, probably a surgeon. " "And that would explain the cases." "Back to my theory. They were fighting before, right? Well, the two characters did that all the time, but there was always an underlying respect. I don't know how, but I got the feeling it's the same way here." "And Tom Cruise is about the same size as that woman." "Sophie!" "It's true. The guy may be cute, but you have to wear flats around him." Ducking Nora's swat she took a swig of her club soda. "Maybe they're not involved at all. Maybe they're just friends." "Very *good* friends." "Oh, quit it. They comic be like Betty and Jughead in the comic books. You know, 'Archie's here, Betty's here, Veronica too...' Well, you get my drift." "So now they're animated, huh? Pretty big jump from being alive to being a cartoon." "Did you let me finish?" Sophie heaved a huge sigh. "This is how I see it. They're best friends, no sexual tension, and both of them stick up for one another, protect each other. And Jughead's really tall and skinny too, like our friend over there." They looked back to the couple's direction to find them sleeping soundly. "Besides, Jughead was always my favorite character." "Sorry, I liked Reggie." "You would." "Okay, I see your point on the friendship, but I don't think that they can *not* be romantically involved. Since we're on this comic book line of thought, how about Betty and Archie? I always loved them together, If it only weren't for that meddling Veronica..." She slammed her fist into the tray, knocking it back into its upright position. "Reminder - this is not real life." She said it soothingly, trying to calm her down. "And I agree with the choice *if* they are romantically involved. But she could be a Veronica, you know." "No, she looks too nice. And it's not as if she's got Tall Good Looking Guy wrapped around her finger. it seems like they are equal partners in this venture." "Don't you want that kind of relationship?" Sophie looked at the man and woman dreamily. "I bet he's good in bed, too." "Sophie!" Nora looked at her in shock. "What?" She shot her friend a sly grin. "I'm probably right. Wouldn't you want to find out?" it was all Nora could do to keep from laughing. In the end, they were unable to keep the convulsions in. * * * * * "Huh?" Scully groggily lifted her head. "What's that noise?" "Mmph." Scully opened her eyes to find herself sprawled across Mulder's chest, her hand intertwined with his. Momentarily embarrassed, she sat up, composing herself. "What's that noise?" Mulder woke up slowly, looking around him. "Oh, it's just the people behind us." Turning around, he faced the two women. "Would you mind keeping the noise down? We're trying to sleep." "Back to sleep, Mulder?" Scully moved closer to the window, unwilling to return to the same sleeping position. "Only if you join me." Smiling crookedly, he held out his hand. She hesitated only for a moment before accepting. Putting her head on his shoulder she let her eyelids close. From two rows back the women smiled. ***** @%--<--<---- MaryKathryn S. Robinson MaryKathryn.S.Robinson.50@nd.edu founder, eXtreme Possibilities "In self-trust all the virtues are comprehended." - Ralph Waldo Emerson @%--<---<--- Subject: NEW -- Comparisons 5 (MSF/MSR-slight) From: MaryKathryn.S.Robinson.50@nd.edu (MaryKathryn Squire Robinson) Newsgroups: alt.tv.x-files.creative OKay, the first new story in over a year! Yay me! Here we go, sit bak and hopefully enjoy. Comparisons 5 - 3Then I1ll See You . . . In Hell!ý MaryKathryn Robinson MaryKathryn.s.Robinson.50@nd.edu Summary - A continuation of my long-forgotten Comparisons series, where people think of who Mulder and Scully remind them of. Each piece is a stand-alone, but have the same comparing theme running through them. And, I also have to add that I have not written since September of 1996, so I1m rusty. I hope you like it anyway! Rating - MSR (extremely slight)/Comedy/Vignette Spoilers - None (so far). If you don1t know that Deep Throat and X are dead, you1re in real trouble. Disclaimer - The characters of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder are owned by Chris Carter and Ten-Thirteen Productions, and somewhere in there comes Fox Broadcasting. So, everyone has a piece of them, except for me. Anyway, no copyright infringement intended. E-mail and flowers to: MaryKate @ MaryKathryn.s.Robinson.50@nd.edu. It would be greatly appreciated. ***** Comparisons 5 - 3Then I1ll See You . . . In Hell!ý MaryKate MaryKathryn.s.Robinson.50@nd.edu ***** 3There he goes again.ý 3Who do you mean?ý 3Virgil.ý The dark-skinned man pointed to the ancient Greek poet across the rocky path. 3Every week it1s the same thing, acting as tour guide, with Dante following like a puppy. I mean, come on! They1ve been doing this since the fourteenth century! Don1t you think they would have realized by now that nothing changes in Hell? Same rocks, same fires, same lava, everything.ý He snorted, a derisive sound. 3Morons.ý The older man gave him a faint smile, 3Now, X, let them be. They only do it because Dante1s Inferno is still required reading for most high schools and universities. Until they stop reading the book, they will have to relive their journey every week for eternity. That1s their own personal hell.ý The man known as X stood up and paced the small area in front of his mentor. He was a tall man, menacing when pulled up to his full height. 3Dammit, Bob, I don1t care about their Hell! I1m in my own. And don1t call me 3X.ý My name is Clark.ý Deep Throat, aka Bob, looked at him. 3After all that we1ve done, we1re lucky we1re not with the people who are turned into trees, or down there with Judas. It1s only because of the help we gave Mulder and Scully that we1re here in the Ninth circle of hell, with Bendict Arnold and Ugolino. I mean, sure, it1s pretty creepy that the man ate his own children, but we1ve done a lot worse.ý X gave him a look made to kill. 3That son of a bitch ruined my life, got me killed, and I1m supposed to thank him and his little partner? I don1t think so.ý 3What do you want, X? To be in heaven, after all you1ve done? That is not the case, nor should it be.ý Bob put his head in his hands, leaning forward, elbows on his knees. He looked for everything like a man tired with life and himself. The time and caught up to him. The wrinkles were more numerous and deeper, the hair less and grayer. There was a sorrowfulness to his eyes, many years of pain echoed within their depths. 3We deserve what we1ve gotten, tenfold. I regret it deeply, and my only saving grace is that I was able to help the son of my friend, try and help him find the truth that we1ve tried so hard to cover up.ý X laughed, a hard sound that sent shivers down Bob1s spine. 3Whatever I am, you made me, remember? I was your student, you were my mentor. So why don1t you take the blame for both of us?ý He walked away towards the island, walking out of sight. Bob shook his head, chuckling mirthlessly. He did take the blame for Clark as well as his own, for everyone1s involved. He regretted everything he had done and was resigned to his time in Hell. The only solace he received was knowing Mulder1s search continued, one day finding its ultimate end in the truth. 3Fox, my boy,ý he murmured softly, lost in his thoughts, 3The truth is out there, and you will find it.ý 3Fox is nothing but incessant, Bob.ý Deep Throat was startled out of his reverie by the voice behind him. The dim light afforded a view of Bill Mulder emerging from the shadows. 3Lassie has nothing on him.ý Bob gave the man a smile as he walked towards the rock he sat on. 3Where have you been, Bill? We1ve been wondering.ý 3It seems like my late change of heart helped me to a comfy eternal position in purgatory, with visitation rights every couple of years or so.ý Bill sat down on the rock, pulling a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiping the perspiration from his head. 3So this is hell, eh? Looks a lot like Dante1s version.ý His companion sighed. 3Yeah, I know. Beezlebub, or Bizzy as he1s sometimes called, thought it would be fun to redecorate after the book came out. The guy1s such a kidder, he is.ý Bill clapped him on the back. 3Don1t worry, buddy. I have word from higher powers that you1ll be moved out of here soon, transferred out to Purgatory with me.ý 3You1re kidding.ý 3Nope. Remember the Irish Blessing that says OMay you be in Heaven a half an hour before the devil knows you1re dead1?ý Well, it seems like it was the other way around for you. Your case has been in litigation since then, and since Hell has the better lawyers, it was an uphill battle. The deciding factor was what you did for Fox and Dana Scully.ý Bob sat up, the weight finally falling from his shoulders. 3Thank you. Have you heard anything about Mulder and Scully? Are they okay?ý Mr. Mulder answered him quietly. 3We are able to get highlights on the lives of our loved ones in Purgatory. once a week. Fox and Dana show up usually around 9 p.m. on Sunday nights, a little bit later if the football game runs long. It1s been tough, Bob. Ms. Scully1s cancer does seem to be in remission, but Fox is doubting his faith. He doesn1t know if he believes anymore, being disillusioned with all the hoaxes and lies, and nothing holds the answers he need right now.ý 3But he has Dana.ý 3Yes he does. Their relationship is stronger than ever. I believe she is his saving grace, the one thing truly good and sacred in his life. I wonder, what would our lives be like if we had that in them, Bob? If we had a friend so important to us that it kept us alive, gave us the strength and will to do things right and follow the correct path? Would we have ended up like we did? Alone and in Hell?ý 3Probably not. Mulder and Scully are special, Bill. They1re like Hepburn and Tracy, so in tune with the other that it1s hard to know where one ends and the other begins. Watching them is like a watching a carefully choreographed script, each knowing where the other one is going. They have a silent communication, like twins. It1s freaky sometimes.ý 3You know, Bob, Spencer Tracy is in Purgatory. Saw him last week, as a matter of fact.ý 3Really? Why is he in Purgatory?ý He nodded at Bill1s pantomime of a drinker. 3Oh, I forgot about that. There are a lot of actors down here. I can1t tell you any names, but I can tell you that a certain someone is doomed to sing OWhite Christmas1 fo rthe rest of eternity. Bugs the hell out of me. But anyway, Dana and Fox have something no one else will be able to emulate. They1re like the Clintons, powerful, forceful, attention getters--ý Bill cut him off. 3You really don1t get any information down here, do you?ý Bob shook his head sadly. 3We only find out about what Bill Gates is doing. He and the Devil are close.ý 3Well, that Clinton analogy is no longer . . . let1s just say it no longer holds any weight. It1s a long story. Let1s try another political analogy, shall we? Jefferson Smith and ------------ from Frank Capra1s Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. He1s the believer, an innocent in the politics of the game. She1s worldly, sophisticated, and willing to do anything for him, even after a shaky beginning. And that1s how it is, Bob. She1s willing to die for him, and he for her.ý 3Have they . . . have they finally admitted their feelings for each other?ý 3No, and I don1t know if they ever will. Theirs is a love that is more important than a physical relationship. They are already committed to each other in their hearts.ý Bill sighed. 3I only wish that I had that relationship with Fox1s mother.ý 3Me too.ý the scratching voice came from behind them, and the two friends were able to make out a silhouette coming out of the darkness, the lit end of the cigarette clearly visible. The man known as Cancer Man as Mulder and Scully joined the two men he had once called brothers at their clearing on the rocks. 3I wish I had that relationship with your wife.ý Bill stood up as quickly as he could for a man his age. 3Why you bastard!ý 3Temper, temper, Bill. Don1t you know that1s why you1re down here in the first place?ý Bob, who had played the role of peacemaker in the group since it began, stepped between them. 3What are you doing here, you black lunged son-of-a-bitch? I know for a fact you1re not dead yet, unfortunately.ý The nameless man laughed, purposely blowing the smoke in his former friend1s face. 3I sold my soul to the devil many years ago, my sorry friend. The devil is now doing my work.ý Bill and Bob looked at each other, nodding in understanding. 3Oh.ý The Cancer Man continued to nurse his cigarette. 3I1m in my own Hell, my friends. I get one cigarette every 2 years and I can1t believe I just wasted mine on you, just for effect!ý He cautiously snuffed out the end, putting the cigarette butt in his pocket for later. 3As for your precious Mulder and Scully, they will get together in time. It1s all part of the Consortium1s plan.ý He rubbed his fingers together, suspiciously looking a lot like Mr. Burns from 3The Simpsons.ý It was Bill who spoke first. 3Oh, shut the Hell up.ý He walked away, calling to Bob. 3Come along, Bob. Maybe we can see if you can1t put down a payment on a condo in purgatory. I1m sure Donald Trump has some for sale. We can probably get you a visitor1s pass.ý The two friends left together, leaving the 3Cancer Maný all alone. 3Guys? You1re not leaving me, are you guys?ý He looked around, finding no one there. 3Come on, guys, I was joking. I swear! That guy who ate his children is looking at me really funny.ý They kept walking, not listening to the edge of desperation which had seeped into his voice. 3Guys?ý 3Guys?ý 3Guys . . . 3 * * * * * Author1s notes: Please remember this is my first fanfic in more than a year! I1m glad to be back, albeit for a short while. Thanks to Dante1s Inferno for inspiration. I1m not sure if I1m going to keep writing, so I would love to hear your ideas and thoughts on my writing. My e-mail address is marykathryn.s.robinson.50@nd.edu. Thank you for your time and I really appreciate it! Other stories from the author (selected works): The Questions Series, Comparisons Series, Pretend and Pretending, Phone Tag, Dance With Me, It1s a Wonderful Life, Death, etc.